ULTIMATE POKEMON RAP BATTLES!
KANGASKHAN!
VERSUS!
HARIYAMA!
BEGIN!
Kangaskhan: Come on, son, let's use Parental Bond.
To beat this big, fat, dressed-up blonde.
Seriously, though, you're a pig in a skirt!
You're like 500 pounds! Dude, put on a shirt!
I protect my kid, all day, all night.
You just like to eat, an average white.
Your hands are the size and shape of baseball mitts.
And your thighs are too fat to allow you to sit.
I'm always female, so how do I give birth?
You're too young to understand, but your body still shakes the earth.
I'm a kangaroo, hippity hop.
Your legs are like balloons, pippity pop.
Come on baby, let's burn that fat!
Hariyama: Welcome to the lair of the solid hunk of muscle.
I wouldn't be talking wait if I were you, go Hustle.
Burn off that weight, mine's muscle, not fat.
You say you're a kangaroo, but you look like Grumpy Cat.
While you're busy hanging out with the PTA
I'm trucking down 'Mons like GTA
And I won't hesitate to call the FDA
If you try to feed that milk to your baby, hey,
I've got an idea! Let's have a boxing match!
You just went down! SmellingSalts! Rematch!
You can't take me! I'm hard as a rock!
You think you're so tough, but you can't even beat Brock!
Kangaskhan: You can't find your way out of Dewford's Cave.
But I'm in Kalos, find me in Glittering Cave.
Get outta the dress, and into reality.
And your disgustingly low stats are quite the oddity.
Hariyama: Sheesh, talk about overprotective, don't slouch!
You're crushing your child that lives in your pouch!
You top helicopter parents by far, that's too extreme!
Having your kid live literally attached to you? Obscene!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
This battle was suggested by, um, BlastyMusic (me). But I'm still accepting suggestions.
NEXT BATTLE: Infernape VS. Blaziken