THE FRIENDSHIP OF RIVALRY
Notes:
Disclaimer - I do not own the setting of Harry Potter or any of the characters; those are the property of J.K. Rowling. I have however added a few new names, given that this story is centered on the time after Harry and Draco have graduated.
This story is a male x male slash so please don't read it if you don't like to read these types of fanfics.
Chapter 5: Nightmares (Harry)
Harry listened closely as Draco moved to enter his own room. It's not like he was scared or anything, but he was able to distract his mind from the house much easier when he knew that Draco had also left his bedroom door open. He knew he should have been wary about the fact that his one-time arch-rival was sleeping in the room right next to his, but after years of an uneasy truce between them as well as the latest development, Harry at least felt that he could trust Draco.
He found himself grinning at the thought of what Ron and Hermione would say if he actually admitted it to them. He knew Ron would have a near-heart attack and then he would recover with a fit while stating that he refused to believe that Harry could think that without any proof that stated that Harry wasn't under some kind of spell, curse, or jinx. Hermione might believe him and offer her support, or she might side with her husband and demand that they check Harry for any influences just in case Draco was controlling his mind.
The sudden sound of water running made Harry realize that Draco was taking a shower before bed. It felt like torture to know that there was something he really wanted but couldn't have in the room right next to his. He had only figured it out once Draco had saved his life though and by then he knew the damage that their rivalry had done, couldn't be reversed.
He knew Draco kept on saying that he forgave him for the agony Harry had caused him in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom because he cast a spell he didn't know the consequences of, but Harry still couldn't forgive himself for it no matter how much he had hated Draco at that time.
The water shut off and Harry imagined Draco getting out of the shower and pulling on whatever he slept in. It was making it very hard for him to not just stand up and confront Draco about his feelings, but also to maybe be able to hug him close and kiss him even though Harry knew he didn't have any right to do that.
He turned around and glared at the opposite wall. Trust him to mess up his love life with the one person that mattered, even years before it even started. Harry honestly didn't know why Draco had accepted his apology in the first place and he also didn't know why Draco had requested him to help him, but it gave him just a little hope that maybe Draco didn't hate him as much as he thought after all.
Yet every time he got the courage to tell or show Draco how he felt, even though he still felt guilty, it seemed to subtly drift into his mind that Draco was straight while Harry was not.
Harry pulled the blankets over his body before placing his glasses on the bedside table and his wand underneath his pillow. Draco might not know about it, but he had ensured that Harry learned his lesson about not keeping his wand extremely close.
Next time an intruder broke in it might not just be someone like Draco who needed or wanted his help. Harry then closed his eyes and fell asleep hoping to dream about a certain person next door.
Harry felt rather than saw the figures as they approached him in the darkness. His whole body shivered as he turned around and saw that every shadow seemed to carry a different face. But he was unable to cry out or even speak as he realized that the shadows held the faces of the people he hadn't been able to save during the war.
Some of them seemed to tear the voice from his throat while others restrained his limbs even as he tried to fight them to get away. He felt as though he was sinking into a black abyss as he finally gave up struggling. Maybe they were right to want to take his life when he had been the reason that they had lost theirs.
But the thought was replaced immediately when he realized that someone was calling his name. At first, he wanted to ignore it and drift away even further but the voice sounded so familiar, urgent, and worried that he was able to easily shrug off the restraints around him and move towards the voice.
Harry suddenly found himself wide awake as a familiar scent seemed to possess the air around him and he realized that someone was holding him while whispering into his ear. "Harry it wasn't your fault that you couldn't save them. Stuff like that happens sometimes. Please wake up. I don't like it when you are in so much pain."
Harry was stunned and confused as he realized that Draco was hugging him close as he begged for him to wake up. Draco must have cast a Lumos spell he noticed distractedly as faint light surrounded them.
The worry in Draco's voice urged him to hug him back to calm him down and so Harry decided to do just that. It felt nice having Draco so close even though they were technically 11 years old at the moment.
"It's okay Malfoy, I'm okay." Draco just seemed to hug him tighter before sitting back a little. "Are you sure? I heard you screaming in your sleep and when I touched your shoulder to try and wake you up, the images carried over to me again."
Both Draco and Harry stared at each other, one in confusion and one in worry. "You saw my dreams Malfoy?" Draco nodded but Harry could see how worried he was. "You're not a legilimens are you?"
This time Draco shook his head. "I can do legilimens when I cast the spell, but I didn't cast it on you. You were in so much distress at the gate that I just wanted to snap you out of it by touching your shoulder and just now when you were having that nightmare, I did the same. Yet earlier when I led you to the basement, nothing happened even though we were touching so I believe it only happens when you are distressed."
Harry nodded then thought for a moment. "Well whatever it is, we are going to have to figure it out while we work on the case."
Harry looked around the room and saw that it was still very dark outside. He fished his wand out from under the pillow and cast a tempus spell. It was barely past three in the morning and they still had a few hours of potential sleep before they had to get ready.
He turned to Draco. "I guess we have to head back to bed if we want to be ready for our first day back at Hogwarts." Draco didn't seem too happy about the idea of heading to his own bed and Harry felt hope rise in his chest, but he decided that Draco probably just didn't want to get woken up by his cries again.
"You know Potter, this bed is big enough for two and I really don't feel like going all the way back to my own room now. You wouldn't mind if I stayed would you?" Harry was taken aback for a moment, but he recovered quickly. "No I wouldn't mind, you are welcome to stay." Harry moved to the one side of the bed to give Draco some space to lie down but he got tangled in his sheets in the process and the abrupt shifting of his bodyweight caused him to go over the edge of the bed.
He closed his eyes and waited for his body to hit the ground, but a pair of arms grabbed him and he was pulled back against Draco's chest.
Harry took a few deep breaths, but the feeling of being in Draco's arms and against his chest was causing his heartbeat to go into overdrive. 'Calm down you idiot!'
"You okay Potter?" Harry nodded and subtly snuggled into Draco's chest. "You can call me by my name you know." Draco nodded and Harry could feel his arms slightly tighten around him before he let go of him.
Draco moved to the other side of the bed and climbed under the covers before looking back at Harry. "Then you should call me by my first name as well. Honestly, I don't know why we didn't do it after the war ended in the first place." Harry smiled and also settled in beneath the covers.
He was about to close his eyes when Draco's voice echoed around the room. "You know Po-Harry, I've been wondering about something. Harry turned around and faced him. "What have you been wondering about?" He could hear Draco turning around to face him as well. "Where did you get that book? I mean a book like that would usually be locked away at the Ministry or it would be carefully hidden away somewhere."
Harry nodded as if deep in thought, but he knew he was smiling. "I nicked it off a wizard that day they brought us to the manor. It seemed ancient and important so I decided to take it before Voldemort got his hands on it. It's only when I actually read it that I saw how dangerous it actually would have been if he had actually gotten his hands on it."
Silence followed his words and he moved closer to Draco in order to see if he was still awake. His movements seemed to startle Draco out of his shock because he sat upright and leaned over Harry in one quick motion. "You mean to tell me that you were the one that stole the book?!" Harry nodded and kept silent.
After all, wasn't that what he had just said? Draco clutched his shirt with a fist and slightly pulled Harry off his cushion. Harry didn't resist because he knew Draco didn't intend to hurt him, but he really didn't know why the other boy was acting as if he'd been told something dreadful.
He stared up at Draco and noticed that he actually looked sick to his stomach and Harry felt a wave of dread flow over him. "Draco, are you alright? You don't look so good."
Draco didn't answer and this prompted Harry to release Draco's hand from his shirt before pulling him close and lying back against the headboard with him in his arms. Usually, he would have been too scared of what Draco would say, to pull him close in such a way, but the now dark-haired boy had started to shake. "Please Draco, tell me what's wrong."
Harry heard a shaky sigh as Draco hugged himself tightly against him and he rubbed his back. Finally, the brunet seemed calm enough to speak. "H-Harry, the Dark Lord had actually been waiting for that very book. He gave me the mission to retrieve the book, but after I found it I couldn't deliver it to him because he gave me another mission and he sent another death eater to deliver it instead. When you brought out the book, I thought that you just found a copy of it or that it fell into your hands after the war."
Harry felt the wave of dread increase as he realized the turn that their conversation was about to take. "As you can guess, the death eater lost the book which ruined one of the Dark Lord's most important plans and he paid the price for it. I guess the Dark Lord had been planning to use the same ritual we used earlier to infiltrate the castle and maybe even kill you in your sleep. As you know, a few of us had been forced to be marked as death eaters by our families and we were all looking for a way to steal the book without it being traced back to us. Even Severus tried to find a way to exchange the book with a fake. Yet we were unable to interfere. We were all glad when the book disappeared on its own, but the Dark Lord demonstrated his anger on the death eater by first having the cruciatis curse placed on him for hours on end with just enough time in between to ensure that he didn't lose his mind and then throwing him into the dungeon where the other death eaters were permitted to do anything they wanted with him for a week before the Dark Lord finally cast the killing curse on him."
Harry only felt a little sorry for the death eater since the man himself had probably murdered thousands of people. But then it hit him that it would have been Draco's fate if Draco hadn't been given the order to give the book to the other death eater. The thought made him sick to his stomach and he pulled Draco even closer against him. Draco buried against his chest.
Neither of them wanted to speak about it any further, but Harry felt like he had to clarify something to Draco. "You know Draco; I wouldn't have stolen the book from you if it had been you carrying it. You may not believe me since we practically hated each other at that time, but you didn't sell us out when you were asked to identify us and I would have wanted to repay that favor by not getting you killed by Voldemort. Though even if you had, I still wouldn't have taken it."
Draco was clearly confused and Harry gave a wry smile. He wasn't about to confess to Draco that he had been in love with him for years. "Come on let's sleep. We only have a few hours of sleep left before we have to get up and get ready." He knew they were supposed to be sleeping on opposite ends of the bed but neither of them made a move to put some distance between them so they stayed like they were and the last thing Harry remembered is that he could have sworn that Draco pressed a light kiss to his collarbone before they both fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.
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