Author's Notes:
And here we go again, with the longest chapter so far!. . . And with a good reminder as to why this is a "Grim" tale.
"How could you be so massively, mind-numbingly, asinine, retard STUPID?!"
"I challenged him, so… a duel it is." Ichigo said stubbornly.
Rukia looked aghast, shooting Ichigo a look of pure frustration, and violently applied the palm of her hand to her forehead. Only a few minutes had passed since their confrontation with Uryu, and most- if not all- of it had been spent with Rukia telling Ichigo what a dumbass he was, and why. She was surprisingly creative when she was angry, he noticed. To say that Rukia's reaction to what Ichigo did was downright furious would have been an understatement.
"I outright tell you to not challenge him, to not let him get to you, and of course you just have to end up doing it..."
"Oh, shut up... I swear, with that guys attitude, it was just about impossible to not call him out on any of this. I'm so gonna kick his ass tomorrow..."
Rukia wildly shook her head. "Urgh, how many times do I have to tell, you Ichigo? You don't stand a chance against him! This will be Grand Fisher all over again, except that this time, no one will help you when you're about to get killed! This is about the stupidest thing that you could have done!"
"Pah, don't you worry. I'll somehow defeat that guy, and if it is the last thing that I do!" Ichigo said, trying to pull off a reassuring smile – when in reality, he was just as worried about tomorrow's fight as Rukia.
"It will probably be the last thing that you attempt, that's for sure..." Rukia grunted.
"Look, it will be fine. I've been in plenty of tight spots before-"
Rukia slapped him across the face. "You think this would be a tight spot? You think challenging an enemy who could kill you easily is a "tight spot"? No, you're setting yourself up for a gruesome defeat at best, and you'll wind up dead at worst- what the hell would I tell your mother, you IDIOT?!"
Ichigo flinched. "Don't bring my mother into this-"
"Yes, it would hurt to face reality, wouldn't it?" Rukia spat. Turning around, she walked in the other direction. "You're an idiot, Kurosaki Ichigo."
"Where are you going?"
"Away from you!" She snapped. Like a tiny, very angry juggernaut, Rukia charged away from the scene.
She really had been angry, he noted- more emotional than he had ever seen her before. Did she care that much about him and his family? A good thing, he supposed- most importantly, however little he wanted to acknowledge it, he knew she was right. He had been angry, amped up on adrenaline and testosterone, and he had- knowing he shouldn't- challenged Ishida. Who was much stronger than he.
Holy shit, he was going to duel Ishida. The realization struck him like a hammer, now that the lion's share of his anger had drained away- he was going to be fighting somebody who had every reason to hate him, who could kill him, oh god… Rukia had been right. Not that he'd be in any hurry to admit it, but she was. How could he let himself do something this stupid? Why couldn't that asshole just have turned down the damn challenge? It would've saved Ichigo a lot of trouble...
But it was too late to change anything about it. As much as Ichigo would have liked to go after Uryu to call this entire thing off, doing so would only prove his points. That Ichigo was arrogant, that he was not suited for any of this... no, the last thing that guy needed was a confirmation of his criticisms of Ichigo.
So what do about tomorrow? Fighting hollows had, from an emotional standpoint, not exactly been getting easier when Ichigo had directly been shown what it meant for hollows to be human ghosts gone mad, but it still was manageable. In this case however, Ichigo was going to outright fight a person with his powers, and then even one of his classmates... granted, an assholish classmate that he never really paid any attention to, but a classmate nonetheless. A human.
Shouldn't that be the same for Uryu, though? That guy apparently spent at least some time each day hunting hollows, so protecting people did mean something to him – would he really kill Ichigo? There was a difference between killing hollows and killing humans, after all... and Ichigo could only hope that Uryu thought the same.
Ichigo sighed. No, the more he thought about it, the more stupid the entire idea of challenging Ishida Uryu to a duel seemed to him. If Uryu won, Ichigo would be put out of business in the best case, and outright killed in the worst case. If, however, by some miracle, Ichigo won... then what? Ichigo would never be able to get himself to kill Uryu, that much was clear to him. Given how much of an asshole he was, would Uryu even acknowledge it if Ichigo won? Hell, would it even change anything? As much as Ichigo would have liked it if by defeating Uryu, the guy would simply forget all the grudges that he held and became his friend, that sort of thing only happened in a lighthearted shonen manga. This was reality, and Uryu's grudge was very much an issue that couldn't be solved that easily.
Once again, Ichigo sighed. Rukia really had been right. This was a terrible idea.
oOo
The tremors had finally died down, and Tatsuki lay still on the ground, absolutely and positively still.
"You don't suppose you killed her, Kisuke?" The cat said, and its tone indicated that if cats had the facial muscles required for frowning, it would frown rather strongly.
"Oh, ye of little faith." Kisuke said dismissively. "This science is flawless- well, as close to it as science comes." He took up a small watch.
"I can't sense her reiatsu."
"Natural," Kisuke said dismissively. "nine, eight, seven…"
"If she's gone-"
"Three, two, one…" There was a pregnant pause, lasting several seconds. Then, Tatsuki gave an audible groan, slowly propping herself up. "Excellent!" Kisuke cheered. "How are you feeling, Arisawa-san?"
Slowly standing up, her reiatsu flaring slowly, Tatsuki had the eyes and posture of a zombie. "I feel… really great." She mumbled, making a fist. "I feel… I feel really good, actually. Strong."
"Heads up!" Kisuke said, sending a rock flying at her head. Not even flinching, Tatsuki slammed her fist into it- and the stone cracked, falling to the ground in little pieces.
"Damn…" she mumbled. "Not bad."
"Your controlled reiatsu is stronger, physically, than the rock I just threw. It was saturated with spiritual energy; I am not sure you would get the same result with a normal rock." Kisuke said, smiling faintly and nodding.
"A rock? I feel amazing- I could- I could break a boulder." Tatsuki said, still sounding a mite sluggish. Looking around, she set her eyes on one, and resolutely marched over. Flexing her muscles, she gathered her reiatsu, raised her fist, and-
"Son of a BITCH!" Tatsuki swore, holding her hand. She sounded quite sober now, as if the pain had woken her from a dream. "I thought I could-"
"Look closely." Urahara said, pointing his cane to the boulder. "You made a sizeable crack." Indeed, there was one- but the boulder itself was infuriatingly whole. "Don't overexert yourself, Arisawa-san. Restraint will be your best course for now."
"But I feel like I could stop a train, or trample a herd of bison! I feel strong!" Tatsuki objected.
"A side effect of the drug, I am afraid. It seems it makes people… confident. You are strong, make no mistake, but you are only just beginning."
"…so what now?"
"Now," Urahara said, nodding to the large man- Tessai, Tatsuki had learned his name was- "we move on to the next phase."
"What's that?"
"Say, what do you think you are right now?"
"Uh, a human- a soul? Shinigami?"
"Shinigami is the goal- but right now, you are a human soul with lots of refined power. That alone will do little more than attract hollows."
"So…?"
"Up until now, all we did was temper your power. Rather like a smith working on a slab of iron that needs to be hammered extensively before it could even dream of being a sword." Tessai came back, holding a long object, wrapped in cloth. "and speaking of swords…" Kisuke took the object, removed the cloth, and revealed there a katana- a longsword, just like the ones you'd see in old samurai movies.
"What's that?"
"This, Arisawa-san, is the next part." He held out the sword to her. "That which makes a shinigami a shinigami, not just a mass of energy with a consciousness, is the zanpakutou."
Hesitantly, Tatsuki took the sword, examining it. "Zanpakutou."
"Precisely. A manifestation of one's soul, and one's strongest power. To make it simple, a sword that has a mind of its own, that will bring special powers to its owner."
"And this is it?"
"This is an asauchi, a sword potential. These are given to shinigami recruits, who carry it through their training. As they go along, the sword speaks to them- and when it reveals its name to them, they are shinigami. That is the fundamental aspect of what it means to be one."
"So… what do I do with this?"
"Well, we're obviously not going to wait for the years it takes for a normal shinigami," he said, grinning. "Don't worry- the process can be rushed without harm."
"What do I do?"
"Unsheathe the sword."
Tatsuki slowly did as told, inspecting the weapon. It was heavy, and the blade was a dull grey. It felt so strange- she had always known karate, but this was a weapon; a weapon designed to take the lives of others. To do harm. And this was supposed to become hers. What a mad endeavor she had gotten into…
"And next," Urahara continued, "I want you to sever your soul's chain with it. Go on."
"…that means I'm dead, right?"
"Technically, yes. Small difference, though."
"Well, I came this far…" Resolutely, Tatsuki grabbed hold of the chain, holding up the sword. She looked at it, long and hard, breathing in deeply. This was her humanity, right here, and she was about to sever it. She was going to become something different- and she had made her mind up to do this in what, a week? She was stupid, so stupid- this was too dangerous, too much!
No. No hesitation. No thinking. Grimacing, she held up the chain, and ground the blade's edge against it hard. The chain creaked and groaned in protest, but without much trouble, it gave way.
"Good!" Urahara cheered.
"And now?"
"Now, sit down… and run the blade through your chest."
"What?!"
"Have I betrayed you so far? The idea is to begin integrating you with your sword- to become a shinigami. I went through not a little trouble to get this blade, and I did not do it just to watch you die."
Swallowing, Tatsuki sat down. What madness! What absurdity! What blind faith this took!
Nevertheless, she slowly aimed the blade towards her chest. Quick and easy, just like getting into the water quickly, before you could realize it was too cold. Taking a deep breath, she swallowed, and slid the blade into her chest hard and fast, almost down to the hilt.
Tatsuki collapsed into unconsciousness.
oOo
It was late evening when Uryu got home. After having accepted Kurosaki's challenge, he had more or less aimlessly wandered around town, trying to get his mind off the fight that would take place on afternoon tomorrow. During all this, he came across no more than eight hollows, all of which he had slain with ease, but even that barely helped him finding distraction.
Uryu was well aware that he had been acting both immature and prideful towards Kurosaki, but he never would have expected him to challenge him to a fight. Uryu had just been hoping for Kurosaki to attack him without any thought about the possible consequences, which only would have further proven Uryu's point. Outright forcing Kurosaki to not go after hollows should have been easily possible then...
But now, Uryu had gotten himself into an outright duel. That Kurosaki would even suggest such a thing had definitely caught him off guard, and broken the bastard facade that he had put up to get Kurosaki to quit. Then again... there was no way that Kurosaki would be able to defeat him. Uryu would simply have to make sure that his victory would be quick and definite, showing Kurosaki the difference in skill and strength between them. Yes, that should be more than enough to convince him to quit... at least he hoped so. Kurosaki Ichigo was very stubborn. Getting him to admit defeat in first place would be hard... but he would have to. There was no way that Uryu would go as far as killing him.
Back in the present day, Uryu had just gotten out his keys, and was about to unlock the door, when he realized that it was already unlocked.
He sighed. That could mean only one thing.
His father was already home.
Taking a deep breath, Uryu opened the door and went in, and sure enough, there was light in the kitchen. Slowly walking, he entered the kitchen, where he found his father, Ishida Ryuken sitting at the table and eating dinner. When he noticed Uryu entering the room, he didn't even look up.
"You have been out again." Ryuken stated more than asked.
"Yes." Uryu quietly confirmed.
"And if I'm not mistaken, you came across this shinigami has been in this town for several weeks now."
"How did you-?" Uryu began, surprised, only to be interrupted by his father.
"I may not use my powers, but even so I can very well sense the spiritual activity that is going on this town. I have been sensing this new shinigami reiatsu for a while now... why can't you just leave this entire business to that person? The living should not meddle in the affairs of the dead, Uryu. I wish you would finally realize this." Not even once while talking did Ryuken look up from his dinner.
"That guy is hardly suited to be a protector!" Uryu shouted. Most of the conversations with his father ended like this: He got worked up, and his father remained aloof. "He is not even a real shinigami! He's nothing more but an untrained substitute! Every day he misses at least a dozen hollows! He is not even close to my level of skill! I can't just leave the protection of this town in his hands!"
"Oh, of course. Honor as a Quincy. The right thing to do. Yes, yes, I remember these arguments... my father always brought them up. Honor and doing the right thing is nice, but it doesn't earn you any money. It only puts you into unnecessary danger. And in your case," Ryuken finally looked up from his dinner, and gave Uryu a disapproving look "it does not substitute education. You are only wasting your time with this all, Uryu. I did not say anything against this before, since I was hoping that you would realize that only the dead should look after the dead, but it seems like you are not willing to let go off this foolishness so easily. So, what did you do with that substitute shinigami? Threaten him? Showing him the difference of skill between you and him?"
"I- he challenged me to a duel."
"A duel to settle your differences... how original. I honestly hope that this substitute shinigami wins... maybe that would finally open your eyes." And with that, Ryuken focused on his dinner once more.
Taken aback, Uryu stared at his father for a moment, before he turned around, rushed out of the kitchen, and headed into his room, slamming the door behind him.
Ever since Uryu's grandfather Soken had died over ten years ago, the relationship between Uryu and his father had been very distant. No matter how well Uryu did at school, no matter how well his Quincy powers developed, his father never even once praised him, or opened up to him. Over the years, Uryu had simply started caring less and less about this, instead devoting himself to his studies, and protecting the town from hollows. No, his father's opinion did not interest him... no matter what his father said, he would defeat Ichigo, and once and for all prove to him that he was the better protector.
oOo
The school day passed in a haze for Ichigo; he was barely able to focus. A mixture of fear and excitement was building in his chest, and no matter how much he tried not to think about it, his thoughts always came back to it- the duel. Rukia was nowhere to be seen- he assumed she was still angry with him. He sighed to himself; he could really have used somebody to talk to, even if all she'd do was scold him. A scolding wouldn't really be out of order, really…
At last, the day ended, and Ichigo collected his things, and hurried out of the building, not even bothering to say good bye to his friends, made a short stop at home leaving most of his things there, and telling his mother that he'd be going out for a while. All that mattered now was getting there, getting to that graveyard, getting this over with.
His mind raced, one option after another crossing through his mind. He could run away, not show up. He could give up being a shinigami- it would make sense; it hadn't even been something he wanted to do! Why did he cling to this at all? This had been Rukia's problem from day one, and now it turned out the city already had a protector- why did he have to make it his problem? This was his cue to leave the stage, study like a good boy, and finally support his family the way he had meant to.
A hundred and one rational arguments ran through his head, one more logical than the next, and yet he found himself stepping swiftly towards the Karakura graveyard.
Why did he do this? Pride? To protect the innocent? Was he just being pigheaded? Was it all of them? No matter which one, he found himself unable to turn away, even as he opened the graveyard's heavy iron gate.
Gravely, he walked towards the meeting place. He fiddled in his pocket with the gikongan, making ready to use it. Almost there… god, what was he even doing?
"You really are an idiot, you know that?" Rukia. Here, after all. He felt like his heart was doing a somersault; he felt like cheering. Instead, he said,
"And here you are, watching this idiot going to do something really stupid. Are you a masochist or something?"
"Who else will pick up the pieces when he's done with you?" Rukia looked stern, but he felt like there was a hint of concern there after all. "Honestly, you would be lost without me, Kurosaki Ichigo."
"…yeah, I guess I would." Ichigo said, smiling lightly. "C'mon... I gotta go and get myself killed, I suppose."
Just as it had been back when Ichigo had encountered Grand Fisher, the graveyard was completely empty. In their search for Uryu, they went more or less all around the graveyard, before finally finding him kneeling in front of in front of a fairly remote grave, and... praying? Did that guy have a family member that had their grave here as well, or what?
Exchanging uncertain looks, Ichigo and Rukia slowly approached Uryu, who, as Ichigo was just now noting, was wearing the same kind of white suit as yesterday.
"So you came." He said as Ichigo and Rukia were getting closer to him, finishing his prayers and slowly getting up while doing so.
"Of course! I'd never be late to my chance to kick your ass, Quincy!" Ichigo boasted, trying his best to act confident, when in reality his heart was beating so wildly that he couldn't help but to think that Uryu would see through his feigned confidence immediately. "Why did you choose this place for our battle, anyway? It can't just be it's remote – we have plenty of places like that around town, so why here?" He asked, trying to stall some time before they would begin their match, hoping that he would be able to calm down in the meantime.
Thankfully though, Uryu neither seemed to realize that Ichigo was feigning his confidence, nor that he was trying to buy himself time – or if he did, at least he didn't show it. "Well, you were quite insistent on finding out what 'my deal' was, were you not? I think this place is best for explaining things to you. You see, I suppose things more or less started with him." He said coolly, pointing to the grave that he had been kneeling in front of.
Even though he didn't think that leaving Uryu out of sight was the best of ideas, Ichigo still looked at the grave as he was told to. The name "Ishida Soken" was engraved into the stone, the writing already slightly weathered. Whoever this man was, he must have already been dead for a while. "'Ishida Soken'? Who was that? A sibling of yours? An uncle?"
"Ishida Soken was my grandfather. He was the one that taught me the way of the Quincy... you know, among Quincy survivors, he was fairly influential. Ever since that massacre of a war took place, us Quincy were being persecuted by the shinigami, and killed whenever we were tracked down. My grandfather wanted to change this... he tried to make amends with the Gotei. He felt that the Gotei was justified in their war against the Quincy, and proposed that the surviving Quincy would create ties to the Gotei, technically enlisting them as a first-response squad that would react to hollow attacks, and defend humans from hollows until the shinigami would arrive and dispatch the hollow, thereby assuring that the balance remains." He paused, and stared at the grave.
For a moment, Ichigo was tempted to make a comment of sorts, but figured that for now, it would be best to remain silent. Then, after a moment, Uryu finally continued. "But the Gotei never even bothered to respond to the proposal. The persecution continued. And then, one day... about thirteen years ago, an absolutely massive amount of powerful hollows attacked this town. My grandfather, with whom I had been training at the time, went to fight them, ordering me to go into hiding while he did so. I still followed him a bit, and watched him fight... he was trying to hold the hollows off until the shinigami would arrive – surely, they couldn't just ignore an hollow attack of this scale, and would send reinforcements soon?" He looked up from the grave, and gave Rukia an angry glare. "But nobody came. I was forced to watch my grandfather fight until he no longer could, until he was exhausted to a point where the hollows could kill him – and that they did. Before the hollows could however even claim their victims, shinigami reinforcements finally arrived, and defeated all of them. At first I thought their timing was just an unlucky coincidence, that there must have been a good reason for their delay... but based on what I could hear them say, they were purposefully late. They let my grandfather just die, and even took his body with them when they left."
Ichigo took his gikongan out, swallowed it, and stepped out, sword resting on his shoulder.
"Well," he said, not taking a stance quite yet, "I guess I understand why you hate me so much. But I'm not one of them."
"No. You're a conceited child fumbling in the dark, thinking you've got some clue what is actually going on. You don't." Uryu said flatly.
"Were you born a dick, or is it just a hard earned skill?" Ichigo shot back. "I'm ready to get myself shot up as much as you can do it- but I got a few choice words before we do that."
"This ought to be good…" Uryu murmured.
"We both want the same thing. We both want to protect souls from being preyed upon. We want people to be safe. We want them to find the afterlife," Ichigo slowly began walking a wide circle around Uryu, "but here you are, ready to shoot me down- why? Because of a grudge?"
"It's no grudge-"
"Bull-shit." Ichigo said dismissively. "Even if I'm only ten percent as capable as you, then that's ten percent more souls saved. But here you are, trying to shut me down. You're doing this because you're nursing your hate like it was your firstborn, because that's all you have."
"You think you know me?" Uryu sneered.
"I know enough. So what else are you nursing besides hatred? Ambition? Tell me, how many friends do you have?"
Uryu remained silent.
"I thought so. No, not a lot of time for friends when you're studying full time and hunting hollows, too, I suppose." Slowly, very slowly, the circle became narrower. "You know what I think? You've got a sad, lonely little life, and the only thing that makes you feel special is that you're this big, strong hero in secret. You're a superhero. You're Batman. You're Willhelm Tell. And now somebody else is doing what you do, and your lonely little shit brain can't handle that."
"Shut UP!" Uryu said. How dared he talk like that; how dared he talk like he knew him?
"Strike a nerve, did I? I guess this is all just theory- but I can't think of any other reason you'd try and shut down somebody who never so much as looked at you before, much less threatened you."
"You arrogant-"
"Who's arrogant? All I've ever done is try to help- you were the one who came to me, trying to bully me into just giving that up! You know, I used to think life was all about me, about looking out for me and my family- and I haven't given up on that, but I know there's a bigger picture. Do you?"
"You've got some nerve, Kurosaki Ichigo." He was barely holding himself cool; his blood was boiling.
"Maybe you're better than me, or whatever," Ichigo said, staring intensely at Uryu, "but at least I'm not alone. So what's your-"
And mid-sentence, he hopped forward raising his sword. Uryu instantly raised his arm, the spectral bow forming, but Ichigo went into a roll, coming in low and sprinting forward, swinging in a wide arc. The blade was coming in, hard and fast- he would hit him, he really would, he could just feel it slamming into Ishida's face-
And then suddenly, Uryu was standing twenty feet back, having seemingly teleported.
"Damn!" Ichigo swore.
"Distracting me, then sneak attacking? You're much more devious than I thought, Kurosaki."
Ichigo grunted. "I figured it was my only shot. If it helps, I meant everything I said, you loser." He looked at his blade; there was a small trickle of blood going down. He looked at Ishida; he had a small stream of blood coming down his face from a shallow cut at his cheek. Ichigo gave a whistle. "First blood. If this was a real duel, I guess that would mean I won."
"Aiming for the head- are you trying to kill me?"
"I never really thought it would hit." Ichigo admitted. "Caught you by surprise though, didn't I?"
"Yes." Uryu said calmly, readjusting his spectacles. "I even had to use hirenkyaku- I think I underestimated you." His reiatsu began to surge, and it immediately became apparent to Ichigo that it was bigger than his own by far. "Thanks for that lesson, Kurosaki. I will take you seriously from here on out."
"Oh, really now? I feel so honored, lord Ishida." Ichigo taunted, once more trying to hide his own fear and insecurities. In truth, the fact that Ichigo could feel Uryu's reiatsu to begin with had essentially already been a confirmation that he was essentially screwed; Ichigo could still only barely sense reiatsu in general. For him to outright feel something, it needed to be either very strong, or essentially right up in his face – and right now, Uryu fulfilled both criteria. "Better get my body out of here, Rukia! This all could get rather ugly."
Rukia, who had thus far only silently watched Ichigo and Uryu talk and have their first clash, gave Ichigo a silent look, before she did what she was asked to.
"Don't die on me." She whispered, as she and Ichigo's body passed him. In response, Ichigo only gave her a light nod. He couldn't show any weakness in front of Uryu...
Once he was certain that Rukia was far enough away, he raised his sword towards Uryu in challenge. "So what, can we get started for re-"
Before Ichigo could even finish his sentence, Uryu had already raised his arms, and fired three shots from his bow! Only narrowly, Ichigo managed to dodge the projectiles, which hit the ground behind him, creating small craters. Determined to not give Uryu another chance to catch him off-guard, Ichigo began charging at him, rapidly changing his direction, making a few jumps while doing so. His intention was to evade Uryu's shots, confuse him through erratic movements, and get up close to him, and at first it seemed like his tactic succeeded, too- not a single shot hit Ichigo, and he made it close to Uryu without any problem, already getting ready to make a wide slash-!
When he realized that Uryu hadn't been shooting at him at all. When a fierce pain shot through his right arm, he realized that it was already too late, and jumped back.
"Did you honestly believe that you could land a hit on me with a simplistic strategy like that?"
Ichigo looked down at his side. Uryu had shot him right through his right forearm, which was bleeding heavily, dyeing his uniform an even darker shade of black.
Without saying a single word, Ichigo got into a fighting stance. Just what the hell had he gotten himself into...
oOo
She was in limbo. Everything was a dull shade of some colour between white and grey. She might have called it a world of mist, except worlds usually had a surface for you to stand on, and mist usually meant you could see at least a few feet ahead of yourself. Even bringing her palm to her face, she could barely make out the contours of her fingers.
How long would this last? What trial was this- had she died? Had this all been some sick game?
And then there was the buzzing, like static, like when you turned the TV on or off. It came in intervals, and sometimes it was almost like a voice, if it had been stored on a file that had gone corrupt. Where the hell was this?
No, better ask- how did she get out of here? What was she supposed to achieve like this?
"-ing so soo-" The voice came out of nowhere, and died out as quick as it had come, ending in more static.
"Who- who was that? Who are you?" Tatsuki shouted, feeling anxious. Wasn't she alone, here in what she presumed was her own mind?
"-ar- edy- ar- oice yet?"
More static. Breathing heavily, Tatsuki focused. Intently, she stared into the whiteness. She stared for what might have been years, or just five minutes- she had no way of knowing. Then slowly, she began to see- the odd shape in the mist here and there, the hints of a contour. Focusing so hard her head began to ache, Tatsuki stared and stared, trying to see…
And there really was something out there, in the white masses. She could see an arm, only for it to be obscured and replaced with a foot, then a knee and a leg, then the upper part of a helmet…
"What in the world…?" She mumbled.
"-etter."
"Who are you?" She called again. She could hear nothing, but at long last she began to see it- it was like a shadow standing up, a silhouette. It had a sword, she could determine. Tall, strong, like a warrior… carefully, she tried to approach it. For a little while, it was as if she got closer. Then, as she stretched out her hand, to connect with it, then it was suddenly over. In an instant, the whiteness began to dissipate, replaced with the familiar darkness of sleep.
In just that one short moment between dream and awakening, an image burnt itself into her retina- a samurai's mask, coloured in orange, black stripes running over it…
And then she opened her eyes, sitting up. She blinked; she was back in Urahara's basement. Looking around, she saw him, the cat, his subordinates.
"Did I, uh…?" She said, not sure what to say.
"It seems you were successful, Arisawa-san. You are on your way to becoming a fully-fledged shinigami."
Still feeling fairly dizzy, Tatsuki tried to get up, since she had apparently had fallen on the floor in the time where she had been, in lack of a better term, unconscious. Doing so took longer than it should have since for whatever reason, Tatsuki's body felt unusually heavy, though she figured that that might be coming from her having been unconscious.
Once she finally managed to properly stand up, she looked down on herself, to see that she was now wearing the same kind of black robes that she had seen Ichigo wear. "Sweeeet..." She murmured.
"Does that mean that we can get to the actual training now?" Tatsuki asked, as the last bits of dizziness left her.
Urahara chuckled. "I am afraid that this will still have to wait, Arisawa-san. I would indeed moreso suggest that for the time being, you just head home."
"But- why?! All we really did today was this second drug thing, and me stabbing myself! Don't we have enough time to get started on the training as well?"
"Are you aware of how long exactly you have been out, Arisawa-san?" Urahara asked innocently, pointing to a clock on a nearby wall.
Tatsuki looked at the clock. It showed that it was around 4 PM. The last time that Tatsuki had looked at the clock was when she had just taken the second drug, at which point it was about 10 AM.
"I have been out for six hours?!"
"Mh, not quite." Urahara calmly objected. "You're still off by a good twenty-four hours."
Tatsuki's eyes began to twitch. "I have been unconscious for... over a day?"
"If it makes you feel any better, you did look rather cute when you shifted from an outright unconsciousness into simple sleep." The cat interjected, using a matter-of-factly tone, just like Urahara.
"Uh... thanks, I guess?" Tatsuki somehow managed to say, despite the absolutely overwhelming feeling of being baffled. It didn't quite happen every day that a cat off all people called her 'cute'... but that wasn't exactly her main concern. No, the more important thing to worry about was- "OH MY GOD! What will my parents say?! They probably have already called for the police!"
"No cause for panic, Arisawa-san. I already took the liberty of changing your parents' memories so that they think that you have been staying at the apartment of your friend Inoue-san. But I do suppose it would be better if you headed home as soon as possible, yes."
Quickly, Tatsuki rushed over to her body.
"Careful now," Urahara said. "This is the final part for today- re-entering your body."
"What's so special about that?"
"It will determine whether the process has been entirely successful or not."
"Huh? I thought I was-"
"Do try to enter your body. Nice and easy- no rush."
Giving him a look, Tatsuki sat down, her spirit quietly fusing with her body once more. For just a second, she felt a tinge- then suddenly, it was as if every cell of her body was on fire, exploding. The pain was everywhere, covering her from head to toe- even her eyes burned. She could barely think hard enough to scream.
Somewhere, in the corners of her perception that weren't occupied by the pain, she noticed Urahara approaching her.
"What you are currently experiencing is the result of your body rejecting your soul. Since your soul underwent major changes, your body no longer recognizes it. This is no cause for worry, Arisawa-san; the pain means that it is still possible for your soul to enter your body. Would you be feeling nothing at all, the entire procedure would have been a failure... but as things are, it seems like everything was a full success. Now, if you would excuse... there is an important event currently taking place, which I would not want to miss entirely. I will leave you in the care of my subordinates, so that they can take care of you once you lose your consciousness again – which, from the look of things, should be in another few seconds. Well, see you later, Arisawa-san!"
"HELP ME!" Tatsuki screamed, writhing on the ground. "PLEASE GOD, MAKE IT STOP! AAAAH!" She wanted out, she wanted away- anything but this constant sensation of pure, undiuted pain.
"The pain should pass in... five minutes, give or take." Urahara said cheerfully. "Nothing I can do will help- you will simply have to endure it." He turned his back, walking to the exit. "Come back up when it's gone back enough that you can walk."
"NO!" Tatsuki managed, gritting her teeth. "NO! GET ME OUT! PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU!" She hammered her fists into the ground, rolling around, spasming.
"Sorry, kid," the cat said, "I really am. If it helps, this is the worst you'll feel."
"DON'T LEAVE ME!" Tatsuki screamed. She lay alone, writhing, kicking, flailing, wishing she was dead.
oOo
He was breathing heavily, half dried blood clotting up his shinigami robes. He had, in the five minutes following Uryu's declaration that he would take him seriously, not taken any major injuries aside from the one to his sword arm- but he wasn't even touching him, and he could barely lift his sword, let alone swing it. He was bleeding from a dozen small cuts, some intentionally done by Uryu, others the results of very narrow dodges at the last second.
"Your running skills are impressive, Kurosaki," Uryu said, adjusting his glasses again, "but it's over. You are tired, weak, and so beneath my skill level that I feel bad fighting you. This is not a duel anymore; it is a petty game of endurance on your part. Give up."
"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Ichigo spat. "Sorry- if you want me to give, you'll have to force it out of me."
"Don't be so prideful. A wise man knows when to yield."
"Pride? Look who's talkin'- it was your pride that started this!" Ichigo put his sword down, resting its tip on the ground. "I'm not a wise man- I'm a dumb punk, and I'm as stubborn as I'm badly mannered."
"Self perception, at least," Uryu murmured.
"Shut it! I'm not through-"
At lightning speed, an arrow hit Ichigo's shoulder, followed by one to his side.
"Yes, you are. Yield."
"Like hell."
"It's over. Saying you have a fighting chance is to pretend- give up, and leave protecting Karakura to me."
"I'm... still standing, ain't I?" Ichigo breathed raggedly, more blood pouring out from his fresh wounds. Slowly, he walked towards Ishida, having dropped his sword entirely. He could barely keep his balance.
"If you weren't a shinigami, those wounds would kill you. As is, you're barely conscious."
"Tis but a scratch!"
"...if you say so." Uryu lowered his bow, letting Ichigo come close. "I didn't enjoy doing this, but..."
He looked as if he was about to say something, but Ichigo didn't care. Mustering what strength he had left, he took a big step forward, and slammed his forehead into Uryu's. Not having expected this, the Quincy reeled back, his head spinning. Refusing to give up what little momentum he had, Ichigo spun his leg around in a roundhouse kick. Uryu caught it just barely, but he groaned as it hit his arm. Ichigo kicked again, following up by jumping into the air, slamming both his feet into Uryu's chest. The Quincy staggered, and fell over on the ground, hard, and Ichigo landed on his feet, barely standing.
"HA!" Ichigo shouted. "You... hit the ground... first..." He breathed heavily, trying to stop the world from spinning. "That means... I... win!" He struggled to stay upright. "I... win."
With that, he fell over, finally going unconscious.
Uryu, groaning with pain, got up to his feet. He'd feel those hits for a week at least; Kurosaki kicked like a mule, and unlike him, Uryu himself did not have a shinigami's otherworldly constitution. "Damn..." he groaned. There was a lot he could fault Kurosaki Ichigo for, but not for a lack of tenacity.
"So you won." It was that girl, Rukia. The depowered shinigami. "What will you do next?"
"I..." He began, not knowing what to say.
"Will you kill him?"
"Goodness, no!" He exclaimed. "I'm not a murderer- I'd never sink to the same level as those rotten shinigami!"
"So what was this all for? What was the point?"
He remained silent.
"Think about that." Rukia said. Was that a tear in her eye he saw as she walked over to Ichigo's beaten, bloody body? Quietly, he turned around, and slowly began walking away. After only a few steps, he stopped once more.
"When that idiot wakes up, tell him this: Being alone isn't easy. Not when the only family that you've ever known is a caring grandfather that died over a decade ago, and an aloof father that you can't please, no matter what you do. Kurosaki has lost his father, right? At least he still has his sisters and his mother..." He said without turning around, scratching his head. "So... just make sure that in the future, you two coordinate yourselves better with my work, so that we actually get all the hollows."
Having more or less said what was on his mind, Uryu walked away. He realized that what he had asked Kuchiki Rukia to tell Kurosaki was probably incredibly cheesy, but... he didn't exactly care about that anymore. Social interactivity had never been quite his strength, anyway. Having somebody help him fight against hollows probably really would come in handy... even if it was a loudmouth like Kurosaki.
oOo
The first thing that Ichigo noticed when he regained consciousness was the pain, and at the same time, also the lack thereof. The pain he noticed because every spot on his body that had hurt before he lost consciousness did in fact still hurt now. This, however, was also where the lack of pain came in: Everything hurt less than before.
"You have more luck than you have brains, you know that?" A quite familiar voice interrupted his half-spirited musing about pain. "Though, that isn't exactly too hard to accomplish, I'd say."
"...This is how people are greeted into the afterlife? Not exactly the kind of welcome that I've been expecting..." Ichigo grunted silently.
"Well, sorry to break it to you, but you're not quite dead. So would you mind actually getting up? That would make talking a bit easier."
Slowly, while trying to ignore that the majority of his body was still very much hurting, Ichigo stood up and opened his eyes. He was standing at the graveyard's shrine, was back in his body, and Rukia was next to him. Uryu was nowhere to be seen. "Where the hell did that Willhelm Tell wannabe go? Did I actually defeat him?
Rukia snickered. "You wish. No, what actually happened is that..."
One explanation later, Ichigo stared at Rukia incredulously. "Did that guy have a change of heart, or something? I mean, from what you said, it actually sounds like he stopped acting like an asshole."
"I suppose he really did... I guess in the end, all of that attitude of his was just an act – at least to an extent. Perhaps all your talk during his fight actually got to him?"
"Hell if I know. I'm just glad that this all is over, and that I'm still alive. I think it's about time that we head back home..." Ichigo said, and wanted to already make the first step... which did not exactly quite work out with his injuries as well as the pain. He collapsed. "Ouch!"
"We better wait a little more with that. As you might have already guessed, I'm still not done with healing you." Rukia noted in a slightly deadpan tone.
"Yeah... I noticed." He said, managing to chuckle. He wasn't exactly in the best of conditions, had been utterly defeated by Uryu, and taken plenty of injuries... but he was still alive. That alone was already a better outcome to this all than he had hoped for, so he had really nothing to complain about.
oOo
It was night, and the streets were almost empty. Normally, even Tatsuki would be a little wary of walking through town at night- there were rapists, robbers, killers; it could happen- but right now, it all felt irrelevant. Hell, she might welcome a rapist- let him try it, see what would happen. See how he'd like her newfound power, how he'd like his ribcage when it was pulverized.
But nothing disturbed her as she walked through town in the dark of night. She was left with her own thoughts, and it all felt… surreal. She had really made it- but was it worth it? She wasn't really human anymore, and this was all for Orihime- what would she think if she knew?
She shook her head. No, it was too late to have second thought- she was stuck with what she had, and all she could do was make the best of it. She steered her steps towards Orihime's little apartment- she couldn't very well go home, now that her parents thought she had been staying at Orihime's. Even if this hadn't been the case, she'd still go here. She needed the company now, needed to know this wasn't all for nothing.
The pain in her body had died down now, being only a dull ache. The five minutes had passed, although it had seemed like five years to Tatsuki- and slowly, oh so slowly, the unbearable pain had become bearable, then a slight burn, then just this dull ache. Urahara had told her not to pop out of her body too often; she still needed to fuse her soul with her body as much as possible.
Still, she had done it. She was a reaper. The world had gone insane, and she had gone insane with it, and she had no idea if it was the right choice or not.
Finally, she arrived at Orihime's apartment. The door was open- she really should lock it, she kept telling her she should- but she walked in, feeling at home at once.
"I'm here." She said, loud enough that Orihime could hear her.
"Welcome home!" Orihime cheered back.
Tatsuki walked in, and sat down next to Orihime on the couch. Some show was on TV, but Orihime didn't seem to pay attention. She hugged Tatsuki, and proceeded to babble on about this and that outlandish thing, as she always would. Tatsuki smiled; her human life was still here, and she wasn't giving up on it.
"…by the way, Tatsuki-chan," Orihime said, cutting herself off, "where were you all day yesterday?"
"I uh, I was sick." Tatsuki managed. Lying to Orihime felt plain wrong, but what could she do?
"I called your mom." Uh oh. "She said you were spending the night at my place."
"…what did you tell her?"
"That you were here and that I was just an airhead. She believed me."
An awkward silence ensued.
"You don't have to tell me, Tatsuki-chan," Orihime said solemnly, "but… I really worried for you. What were you doing?"
"Ah, crap…" Tatsuki said, nervously running a hand through her hair, desperately trying to think of some excuse.
No, wait- why the hell was she making excuses to begin with? This had all been for Orihime; she should know. Maybe she had powers too- she deserved to know.
"Look," Tatsuki began, "it's like this…"
And Tatsuki explained, at length and detail, what had happened to her, from that night with Ichigo up till now, about hollows, ghosts, shinigami, how she had done all this to be able to help somehow, even a little…
And finally, when she was finished, she gave Orihime a look. Her reaction was one she hadn't quite expected.
"Oh, Tatsuki-chan!" Orihime giggled. "That's just silly- you know, sometimes you say the weirdest things."
Tatsuki looked at her incredulously. "All right, don't believe me. That's fine." She reached into her pocket. "This," she said, holding the small object up, "is a gikongan." Quickly, she swallowed the pill, and there she stood, robes and all. Orihime looked puzzled, looking at Tatsuki's body.
"What was that, Tatsuki-chan?"
"Stay still." Tatsuki ordered the mod soul. She stood up before Orihime, leaning in close. "Do you really not see me?" Orihime jerked, giving a small 'eek!' "I'm right here. I began seeing things that evening- don't you feel me?"
Looking worried, Orihime looked around herself. Tatsuki-chan had gone limp, and… she felt weird. There had been some noise right now, only not noise, more like the vocal equivalent of that little shadow you might see in the corner of your eye… what was going on?
"I'm here, Orihime," Tatsuki said, gently putting a hand to Orihime's cheek, "so don't be afraid. I did this to protect you."
Slowly, Orihime looked up. She felt something touching her face- and it felt nice. Familiar. She blinked, and slowly, there was something… just a little something before her eyes. Tentatively, she reached her hands out, fumbling. She could feel a body. Arms, shoulders. And right before her eyes, she could see something take shape- with every blink, it seemed she could see more. Black cloth, a sheathed sword- and Tatsuki-chan's face.
"I do see you, Tatsuki-chan." She said at last "You… you really are…"
"I know." Tatsuki said, sitting down next to Orihime. "It's crazy, I know. I- I didn't mean to bring you into this, but then again, we were targeted once so I just figured you should know and-" She was rambling, and she knew it.
"How can I help you?" Orihime said. "You shouldn't do this alone- so let me help."
It was such an Orihime thing to say, Tatsuki thought. Quickly, she hugged her, long and hard. "I'll- I'll see what you can do." She said, at last.
oOo
The process of healing Ichigo's injuries to a point where he could walk without collapsing ultimately took Rukia multiple hours, so that it was already late evening when her and Ichigo finally got to leave the graveyard. Both of them were still very much glad that the duel with Uryu had worked out somehow, and therefore took things slowly on their way back. Ichigo's only concern was that he had turned off his cellphone before he had left home, so that he would not be interrupted during his fight – with how long he had been away now, he could only hope that his mother wasn't already worried.
Much to the surprise of both Rukia and Ichigo, though, the apartment was completely empty when the two of them returned; not a single light was turned on, and nobody was to be seen. Curiously, but also carefully, they checked each room of the apartment.
"Did your mother say something before you left home this afternoon?" Rukia asked, as she checked Karin's room.
"I don't remember her saying anything..." Ichigo replied, who was currently checking the kitchen. "But then again, I was not exactly in the mood to really pay attention, so-" He interrupted himself.
"Ichigo, what's wrong? Did you find anything?"
No response came. After a moment of silence, in which Rukia already considered going to the kitchen herself, she heard footsteps quickly going from the kitchen to the front door. Ichigo opened the door, rushed out, and slammed the door behind him. Slightly unsettled, Rukia made her way to the kitchen. The light was still on, and everything seemed completely normal... until Rukia noticed a note lying on the floor.
Slowly Rukia bowed down, picked the note up, and read it, her eyes growing wide while doing so. "This-!"
Ichigo ran. Even though the pain from his injuries was still present, and was making him feel like every single step he did would be the last one that he would be able to take, he kept running. Compared to the turmoil that was building up within him, the pain was a minor issue. He couldn't stop; not after what he had seen what was written on that note. It had to be a lie. It had to be a prank; a terrible, terrible joke.
But at the same time, he realized that his mother would never joke about this sort of thing.
On his way to the Karakura hospital, only a few people came across him, Ichigo paid attention to none of them. All that mattered to him was that he reached the hospital. On his way, he silently prayed, cried out to whatever deity might listen to him, pleaded that what he feared hadn't come true; not after how well everything had been going recently. Not after he had gotten the power to protect his family, not after how this duel came out, not after her condition had improved-
He had finally arrived at the hospital. A quick question at the reception, giving his name... the second floor. The receptionist shouted after him to not run, but Ichigo didn't listen. He ran up the stairs, taking three steps at a time, praying, hoping, despairing...
And then he finally was on the hallway on the second floor. He could see his mother and Karin in front of a door, not too far away... Karin had sunken down on the floor, burrowing her face in her hands... his mother was comforting her...
Ichigo walked slowly towards them. This could not be real... it had to be an illusion, a dream, anything but reality.
After a moment, Masaki noticed him, and looked up. Her expression was somber and it was clear that she had cried... after Ichigo only silently stared at her for another moment, she slowly shook her head. His entire body tensed, and his eyes grew wide. No... no, no, no...
Ichigo rushed over to the door, pulled it open, and entered. The door fell shut behind him.
The one thing that Ichigo had been fearing since he left Rukia in the apartment, the one image that had been on his mind on the entire way here... it was right in front of him. Yuzu was lying on a hospital bed, pale, more pale than she had ever been in her life, all sorts of hospital things attached to her... her eyes were closed, almost as if she were sleeping.
Ichigo could feel how his legs lost all of their strength, he could no longer force himself to continue. He fell down on his knees. The tears that he had been holding back for all this time now slowly rolled down his face. This was reality. An inescapable truth. "Yuzu..." He whispered.
"Onii-chan?"
Ichigo raised his head. The voice had come from somewhere close by, female, insecure... familiar. He looked around... and then he saw her.
Standing next to Yuzu's bed was... her. Yuzu was standing next to her a own body, a chain protruding from the center of her chest, giving her brother an uncertain look.