Author's Notes:
Angst-ish stuff is hard to write. . .
I suppose on behalf of the low amount of readers, not many people care for the wait, but I hope that those that do still are glad to see this update.

"What did you find?" Yoruichi's voice came, as Kisuke went through the door to his store, having just returned home.

"So cold- aren't you even going to say 'welcome home', Yoruichi-san?" He said cheerfully. "I collected a lot of data, though- the both of them are prime subjects."

"How was the Quincy?"

"In tip top shape, for his age- he'll go far, given time. Excellent reiatsu control, and a lot more experienced than Kurosaki." He looked thoughtful for a bit. "Susceptible to simple mind games, though- he isn't as collected as he seems."

"Is Kurosaki all right?"

"Bloodied, not badly wounded." He nodded. "He'll recover just fine."

"Do you think Arisawa realized yet that she was tested only to refine your methods for Kurosaki's sake?" Yoruichi said, sounding almost accusing.

"I wouldn't say only for his sake- she is coming into her own very nicely. Given her current rate of growth, she will surpass Kurosaki-san… for a little while." He walked over to the counter, and began typing on a small machine, reading from a note pad he had taken out of his pocket. "Besides, she's smart- she probably has an inkling already. Besides, what would she have to complain about? She will have powers, freedom to live her life, the strength to protect her girlfriend…"

"You're a dirty old man, Kisuke," Yoruichi admonished him.

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure." He smiled mischievously. "There is one hiccup in all of this, though."

The cat didn't frown, but its tone was enough. "What kind of hiccup?"

"Kurosaki Ichigo is about to go through hell, of a kind completely different from anything I would give him, and completely unrelated to the spiritual world too. Well, almost."

"Speak clearly!"

"Suffice to say there's a real risk we may have to write him out of our plans- we'll have to wait, see and be very careful."

"What part of 'speak clearly' was it that you didn't understand, Kisuke?" The cat asked, the tone of its low voice obviously annoyed.

Urahara sighed with mock disappointment. "Can't get away with being cryptic towards you, can I, Yoruichi-san? Well, if you really want to know... one of Kurosaki Ichigo's younger sisters- Yuzu, I believe her name was – she died. Barely fifteen years old, the poor girl... and if my senses did not betray me, her spirit did not pass on by itself." He shook his head. "I suppose no matter what Kurosaki chooses to do about her spirit, he will go through a personal hell. It all really is just a shame."

The cat gave him a calculating look – as calculating as cat's look could be, that is. "Are you saying that it is a shame that this might mess up your plans, or do you feel actual compassion for the boy?"

"Don't you know me well enough to know the answer for yourself?" Urahara said, quietly chuckling.

oOo

Time seemed to fly by for Ichigo. He could no longer focus on anything... everything that happened after the moment where he saw Yuzu's spirit became a blur of sorts. The instant that he had realized what he was seeing, what had happened to Yuzu's soul, he could no longer stay around. He rushed out of the room, out of the hospital, just away. He simply couldn't do this; he couldn't just talk to the spirit of his own deceased sister...

He had spent most of the night wandering around town aimlessly, trying to get his mind off things somehow – provoke some thugs, slay some hollows, he would have welcomed just about anything... but no distraction was to be found, no matter where he went. Ichigo would have given just about anything to freeze time, to not have to deal with the things that would be coming next. But of course, time went on.

After a few hours, in the middle of the night, Ichigo headed back home. His mother and Karin were already home and asleep, so the only person waiting for him was Rukia. When Ichigo saw her, he was half expecting her to reveal another mission to him, chide him for staying out this long, do something – but she only gave him a look of distinct, genuine compassion.

"I- I guess you want- I guess we should-" he began, trying to talk, trying to pretend things were normal, just for a minute. It was a bad act; his voice was barely stable.
Rukia said nothing, only quietly walking towards him, and to his surprise, pulling him into a hug.

"Hey-" he said. His first instinct was to shove her off, but his arm could barely muster the effort to rise, feebly resting on Rukia's shoulder. Unable to help himself, Ichigo cried quietly, leaning on Rukia's petite frame. Not a word was exchanged, saved from the occasional soothing noise from Rukia, and not a word really needed to be said- he could just barely keep himself functional, and somehow, this helped just a little.

Eventually, after god knows how long, Ichigo let go. He opened his mouth, trying to say something, but found that all the words had run away.

"Will you be okay?" Rukia said quietly.

"I- I don't know." He managed. "It's just- it's Yuzu, and, and, and we saw this coming and everything but I never really thought-" His voice cut off, overwhelmed with emotion.

"You never think it will happen." Rukia said solemnly. "How would we live our lives if we did?"

"Y-yes," Ichigo mumbled.

"I know how you feel." She said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you?"

"I once lost somebody very precious to me, too." She said, looking him in the eyes. "So yes. I do. And here's something I want you to remember: the pain isn't going to go away. It will always be there, like a hole in your chest. But eventually, it gets better. Less painful. We never forget those we lost, but as time goes by, it won't hurt the way it hurts now."

"Her- her spirit is still here." Ichigo said shakily. "What do I do? What do I do?"

"You know what you need to do. And unlike almost all people grieving on this earth, you actually know there is an afterlife."

"But will it be any good?" Ichigo said, slumping down on the floor, resting his back against the wall, his hands over his face.

"I couldn't say. The only thing that I can say for certain is that you will need to perform her konso as soon as possible, because otherwise, she will eventually become a hollow."

Ichigo raised his head, and gave Rukia of complete bewilderment. "Doing this... with her? I would never- I just- I can't just send her off like that! What if she loses her memory as she passes on? It- it would be just like losing her a second time... like I would be killing her! I- I can't do that!"

Rukia slowly shook her head. "You'll have no choice in that. The longer souls stay around in the world of the living, the more likely it is for them to eventually become hollows. For some it may take a few weeks, others might take many months, but ultimately, all souls that stay behind become hollows."

Ichigo lowered his head, covering his face with his hands again. "...I can't. Not now... please, give me some time..."

"I understand. But please Ichigo, keep in mind: You can't wait with this for too long. You know what will happen if you do."

Ichigo only nodded weakly in response, before slowly getting back up, keeping his head low.

"Better go to bed... will need some sleep..." He murmured, as he headed off to his own room, fully aware that he probably would not be able to fall asleep.

Rukia stayed where she was for another few minutes, watching after Ichigo, before she too headed towards her room.

In the end, Ichigo did somehow manage to fall asleep, though by the time that he woke up again, it felt like hadn't been asleep to begin with.

oOo

The world felt unreal to Ichigo. Days passed, and he still felt like he was in the wrong reality, like it couldn't possibly have happened- and knowing that it had made it all the harder. He coped, mostly by re-reading Shakespeare; nothing like olden English to distract you from reality.
He had been given time off from school- as much as he needed, his principal had said. In all honesty, Ichigo didn't care- if he had been expelled for lack of attendance, it would have meant as much to him… nothing, really. Nothing seemed important any more.

It fell on him to make the funeral arrangements, as was customary. He sat in on the meetings he needed to with the funeral parlor- he barely remembered its name- listening to the different methods, the ceremonies offered, the costs for cremation and adding the name to their father's gravestone, where to hold the memorial service, what catering needed to be done… little details that seemed so insignificant, but which he knew needed to be done. He bit back the pain every day, focusing only on what he needed to do this particular day, sparing no thoughts for tomorrow. He had stopped crying after the first couple days; there was no use. Once he had regained a modicum of control of his emotions again, all he could do was try to distract himself.

And somehow, time passed. Only two weeks later- he could scarcely believe that a full two weeks had passed; it was as if it was only two days- his friends and family were gathered at the driveway of some Buddhist temple or other; it didn't matter which. His family was there, as were his friends. Some of his mother's friends, too. It was so strange, he felt, to see Keigo, usually so goofy, have the most solemn expression on his face. Tatsuki, always upbeat and spirited, hung her head. Sorrow had removed all of their outer skins, leaving only their solemn faces as they stood there in support of Ichigo.

And through all this, Yuzu's spirit would follow him, and each visit would tear at Ichigo like a knife twisted in an open wound. Ever since he had left her behind in the hospital room, Ichigo had tried his best to ignore his sister's spirit. Having to deal with her death was already hard enough by itself, but dealing with her spirit as well was just nearly impossible. He wanted to comfort her, tell her that everything would be alright, be there for her... and yet, Ichigo just couldn't get himself to even talk to her. He just could not build up the confidence, the courage to tell her that he could see her – how would she react? What would she say? The sheer uncertainty was too much.

But even so, Ichigo did see her expressions. Confused, sad, solemn, lost... but also accusing. Whenever Ichigo did look at her, she was giving him an accusing look... obviously, she still remembered that Ichigo had seen her in the hospital, and might suspect that Ichigo ignored her... but she never said a single word, and just silently followed him.

Even today, on the day of the funeral, Yuzu's spirit was still following Ichigo around. She saw all the people mourning her, watched them gather in one of the temple's room. An entire crowd, all dressed in black, sitting down behind a Buddhist priest who was performing a chant in front of the open coffin...
This was reality. The harsh truth.

The service itself came and passed, the priest rabbling his words about peace, all that religious hogwash. Through the pain, it felt odd to Ichigo- he knew there was an afterlife, and he knew it was really nothing like what Shinto or Buddhism thought it was. It was such an alien feeling, and deep down he hoped that he really was the insane one, that all of this was some mad delusion. But if it was, he had no way of knowing- this was his reality, and there was no avoiding it.

Watching the priest say his prayers, Ichigo decided then and there that he would listen to no religion.

And after the service had passed, there was a solemn dinner. People would talk, in hushed voices, but talk they did- it felt strange how normal things could seem even on a funeral. Part of him felt angry that people dared speak at all, that they would talk about anything but Yuzu- but another part of him reminded him that humans dealt with sorrow in different ways, and sometimes the trivial parts of everyday life were a better coping mechanism than anything else. Or something; it stood to reason.

Eventually, he realized people were looking to him. Why?

"Ichigo!" Tatsuki said under her breath. "Aren't you going to say something? They're all waiting for you to start."

Speeches. Right. There would be speeches, that made sense. Part of the process, and all.

"I didn't prepare anything…" he mumbled.

"So speak from your heart! Nobody is going to care if you stutter or ramble here."

"Yeah…" he mumbled, getting up. "I guess you're right." Slowly, he got up on the floor, standing there with all eyes on him.

"Yuzu…" he began, swallowing, trying to keep his emotions in check. "Yuzu was…" How did he begin? How could he possibly put into words how he felt about his little sister? No words would ever be enough, not if he had a thousand years.
But still, words needed to be said. He stood quiet for a while, then,

"Yuzu was the sweetest little sister anyone ever had." He said quietly. "She- she was always cheerful, even to the end." Putting a hand to his face, he tried to stop himself from crying. His shoulder began to tremble. "Fuck it. I'm trying to put something nice to say about her, here on the spot- but nothing's enough. There's nothing I can say that could describe how much we all loved her. She was bright and sweet and funny and always looked out for all of us, and…" he went quiet for a bit, wiping a tear, "and I just… nothing could replace her. I will miss her all the time. I just…" This time, he nearly sunk to his knees, tears streaming down his face. He found himself held up by Tatsuki, who had taken him by the arm.

"It's okay." She said. "Keep talking. Or just stop, and come have a seat. Just- just do what you want."

"No, it's fine." Ichigo said, shaking his head. Nothing was fine, but it was the sort of thing you said. "I…" suddenly, he turned to Yuzu's ghost, which was still hovering there, looking distraught. "Yuzu, I love you." His voice trembled. "I love you and I wish you could come back, but you can't and… oh god, I hurt."

"That's fine." Tatsuki said quietly, gently leading Ichigo back to his table.

For a moment, Masaki just looked around at everybody sitting at the table, seemingly even fixing her look at Yuzu's spirit for a few seconds. When she finally did speak, her voice was very quiet, almost enough to be nothing more than a faint whisper, though even so, nobody had any problems understanding her. "No parent should be burying their child. Yuzu's health has never been the best... we always feared that this day would come, that she would join her father who left us thirteen years ago... but fearing that something would happen, and actually experiencing it are two entirely different things. We thank you all for your sympathy, and the condolence money that some of you have given us. The money will help us pay for the ceremony and the burial..." She let out a sob, and slowly, tears started rolling down her face. "I hope that wherever Yuzu ends up now, that she will be reunited with her father... thank you all."

She sat down again.

After this point, things became a blur of sorts to Ichigo once more... paying Yuzu's lifeless body some last respects by giving her flowers. The closing of the coffin. The cremation. The ashes being placed in an urn, which in turn was placed in what now would become a family grave on the Karakura graveyard. Everything just blended together for Ichigo into a personal kind of torture, all while the tears that he thought he could no longer cry came forth.

And Yuzu's spirit still watched.

oOo

Afterwards, after the speeches had been said, and relatives and friends began their little conversations in between one another about how sad it was, terrible shame really, Ichigo just walked out. Tatsuki had looked like she would stop him, but didn't- he needed some time to himself, and she knew it.

So he wandered aimlessly about town for hours, his mind overflowing with thoughts and memories. He didn't notice where he walked, where his legs took him; it was all an unconscious process. Reality was somewhere else, some distant, strange place outside of his mind.

And slowly, as he walked, he began to finally process it: Yuzu had died. She wasn't coming back; she was a ghost and somebody had to pass her on to the afterlife. And it hadn't been anybody's fault, only a cruel whim of nature. It would have been so easy if it had been because of a hollow attack; then he could curse and swear at Rukia, at all shinigami, at all matters spiritual- but it was disease, in the end. A rotten, unstoppable disease.

Eventually and somehow, his feet took him home. The sun was going down, and twilight was setting in- had he really been walking for this long? Apparently, he had. Quietly, he unlocked the door, walked in and up to his room. His mother and Karin were home, he could tell. He probably should have called- well, never mind that. He was here now, and not in any mood to talk to anybody. He closed the door to his room behind him.

"Onii-chan!"

Slowly, Ichigo turned his head, shooting his dead sister a weary look. She looked so cheerful, so painfully alive for a ghost.

"I'm home," he mumbled.

"You haven't talked to me all week." She chided. "Are you angry with me for dying? I know you can see me."

"No, no!" He said quickly, sitting down on the bed, right next to her. "I… I didn't know what to say. You're um, you're gone, and," He choked up.

Gently, Yuzu put an arm on his shoulder. "I'm still here, onii-chan."

"You don't understand." Ichigo said, fighting back the tears. "You need to move on- to the other side, you know?"

"But all of you are still here." Yuzu said, sounding like she didn't quite understand. "You cared about me so much, even when I got sick- I couldn't just leave you here."

So that was why. It wasn't bitterness or resentment that kept her from moving on, like most spirits, but loyalty. Love. It was so painfully ironic he might have laughed.

Slowly, he hugged Yuzu close. "I know, Yuzu," he mumbled, "but… you can't stay."

"I'll stay just for a little while." She insisted.

"You see that chain on your chest?"

"Oh yes, that," Yuzu said, tugging at it lightly, "it's kind of heavy, but it isn't so bad."

"Don't touch it." Ichigo shook his head. "Yuzu, that chain…" He shook his head; how could he tell her?

"What about it?"

"Nothing. Everything is going to be fine, Yuzu..." He said after a moment of hesitation.

"Huh... and I thought you knew something about this..." She said, sounding disappointed. "I already asked mother and Karin about it, but neither of them knew anything about this chain, either..."

Ichigo blinked. Did he just hear correctly? "The- they can see you, too?"

"Of course they can! You're all my family, so it should only be natural that you can see me, shouldn't it?" Yuzu asked, giving Ichigo a confused look.

"Y-Yeah, that's gotta be it. I was just confused since they never said anything about being able to see you, that's all." Ichigo stuttered, trying to come up with an excuse on the spot. Yuzu mentioning that she had talked their mother and Karin had surprised him a good bit; never in his entire life had the two said or done anything that would have suggested that they, like him, were able to see spirits – especially not with how opposed his mother seemed to be everything that was even slightly supernatural.

Just what the hell was going on with this? That Karin would do the same thing as Ichigo, and keep this bothersome ability for herself was not too surprising... but why mother? Why, when she had once scolded him for even mentioning that he had seen ghosts?

It really began to seem like there was more to his mother's distaste of the supernatural than Ichigo had originally thought.

oOo

"You have been talking to your sister's spirit, haven't you?" Rukia broke the silence.

It was the morning after the funeral, the first day in almost two weeks that Ichigo would be going to school. While he still was not exactly over his sister's death, the funeral being over and having talked to Yuzu had allowed him to stabilize himself enough for him to go on. Life went on, and he had to go back to school.

Him and Rukia had been quietly walking to school, when Rukia had suddenly spoken up.

"Yeah. What of it?"

"Ichigo," she began, speaking quietly, "I know you hurt. Trust me, I know. But you have to know that you can't hold on to her like this."

"I think we might be late for school." Ichigo said abruptly, walking faster.

"I'm serious about this!" Rukia snapped, hurrying after him. "You're the only one who can pass her on right now- and if you don't, you know what will eventually happen. The more you wait, the worse it will feel when you do it."

"I just can't, all right?" Ichigo shot back. "Not like this, not after I just…"

"After you lost her. And then you realize that maybe you didn't lose her entirely, that she's still there. It's comforting, but it's also selfish."

"Selfish?!"

"Yes, selfish! You're not keeping her here for her sake; you're doing it because you feel horrible! You're doing it because you can't deal with it! That's the definition of selfish! What do you want to do? Keep her around until the rest of your family has died as well? That's just naïve!"

"How dare you!" He growled.

"Face the truth already!" Rukia continued mercilessly. "You know what awaits her- a couple of months from now, that chain will be gone."

"I've heard enough."

"And when it is, she will turn. And she'll be strong, too- your own spiritual pressure fed her soul really well when she was alive. Is the ghost of your sister worth the lives of Karin and Masaki, and even those of people that are not involved in this?"

Giving her an evil glare, Ichigo stopped dead in his tracks. "What the hell do you think you know, Rukia? You came into my life out of nowhere, and now you think you can tell me what to do with my family?"

"I'll ignore that one." Rukia said, though she was seething with rage inside. "We say dumb things when we hurt. But for her sake, for your family's sake, and for your own sake, you must give her a soul burial! It's either that, or purifying her by sword- which one would you rather do?"

"And then what? Sending her to some unknown afterlife, all alone? Where anyone could come for her? Where she might forget everything about her entire life, even her own name? Where I will never see her again?"

"She has reiatsu. That's a good start. And besides, thousands of souls pass on every day, without any choice as to whether they can stay behind, watching over the loved ones, or just move on. Do you think Yuzu deserves special treatment just because she is your sister? As a shinigami, you can't let personal attachments get to you!"

"'As a shinigami'?! Are you even listening to what you are saying right now?" Ichigo said. By now he was just as angry as Rukia, if not moreso. "You seem to be forgetting that I'm only a substitute, and if it weren't for you failing to kill a hollow, I wouldn't even be having this problem!"

"Yeah, and why did I fail to kill that hollow? Because a certain idiot charged in recklessly, and I had to protect him! I gave up any chances of defeating that thing for you! If I had any choice in this, I never would've given my powers up! You stubborn idiot, people could get hurt and you're just-"

She never finished that sentence. Ichigo walked up to her, slapped her across the face, and stormed off without another word. Shocked, Rukia looked after him, her own anger evaporating.

Had she... gone too far? By now she knew perfectly well how much Ichigo's sisters meant to him... asking him to perform a soul burial on the sister that he had just lost, sending her to an afterlife that he knew nothing about was to him probably only little better than killing her...

But even so, he had to understand what Rukia meant! The longer Yuzu stayed around, the more sorrow it would mean for Ichigo and his family when they had to let go of her for good. She had to remind him off this.

...Though she had probably been a bit too harsh. He was just a kid, a young man hurting in a way he had never hurt before.

Rukia sighed. Even though she hardly considered herself to be at fault here, and was not exactly happy about Ichigo having slapped her, she figured that an apology would still be in order. Hoping that Ichigo hadn't gotten too mad, she hurried after him.

oOo

It was lunch break, and Uryu was enjoying a simple meal of rice balls and dried fish on the rooftop. He was alone as always; it was the way he had always liked it.
It came as something of a surprise, then, when Kurosaki walked up to him, sitting down across of him. What was it this time? They hadn't spoken since last; he had heard his sister had died- apparently she had been ill for quite some time. He'd felt sympathy for him for the first time- but it wasn't like they were friends, and Kurosaki had no reason to think of him as anything but a bully. So why was he here? Eating quietly, Uryu decided to let Kurosaki speak up first.

Which, as it turned out, took quite some time. After he had finished his meal at last, Ishida broke the silence.

"Did you want something?"

"You're really good at this white knight shtick, you know that?"

"If you came here for a-"

"You got like half a dozen girls admiring you from afar, you know that? You know how to look cool." Ichigo shrugged. "You really are better at the hero stuff."

A little flustered at the prospect of being admired by girls his own age, Uryu tried to find a response,
"What- what did you come here for?"

"I wanted to tell you that you can… you can have Karakura. I'm out." He made a sound that could perhaps have been mistaken for a laugh, if it hadn't been so hoarse and joyless. "In the end, if you had just waited two more weeks, you wouldn't even have had to fight me."

"…you're giving up?"

"I'm leaving it to somebody better qualified." Ichigo said flatly. "It really was like some kind of hero fantasy, running around with a sword, saving people… but I realized what really matters now. I'm not going to keep doing this."

"You're just going to leave it as it is? This is not like you at all." Uryu said, his tone puzzled. "Not that I know you well, but that's not the Kurosaki who kicked me half unconscious in the graveyard."

"No." Ichigo said. "No, it's not."

He stood up. "I'm out. That's all I wanted to say. Disapprove or approve, I don't care." He turned around, and began walking away.

"Hey, wait!" Uryu said, getting to his feet. "What happened to saving those souls, then?"

"Let the real shinigami do it. The dead should take care of the dead, and not involve the living into their business as well." Ichigo said apathetically, walking down the stairs, leaving Uryu to stare after him incredulously.

Just what the hell had gotten into Kurosaki? Uryu knew that the death of a loved one could have quite an impact on a person, but that alone couldn't be the reason as to why he had quit. It had already been several days since their fight – if his sister's death had affected him enough for him to quit, then he would have already made it clear days ago. What was going on?

For a moment, Uryu considered just going after Kurosaki, and outright asking him, but ultimately decided not to. He simply wasn't the kind of person that pried into other people's business, and if Kurosaki's behaviour just now was any indication, he wouldn't tell him, anyway.

Slowly, Uryu got up. Lunch break was going to be over in a couple of minutes, and it was about time to head back to class.

But even so, Kurosaki's withdrawal had given him something to think about it.

oOo

Just as Uryu had suspected, even hours after school had ended for today, he was unable to get his 'meeting' with Kurosaki out of his head. Luckily, this provided little problems when he was out to hunt hollows, with every beast that he came across being far too weak to pose any real threat to him, let alone catch his attention somehow.

After slaying the third hollow of today's patrol, something else did catch his attention: A being with a notable reiatsu approaching him. Fast, close to Kurosaki's own reiatsu in strength, most likely a shinigami, and... familiar?

Uryu raised his bow, and readied himself to shoot. He wasn't exactly certain as to where he knew this reiatsu from, and while there was a certain chance that whoever the person was that was approaching him now wasn't hostile, he preferred being cautious. He was standing on a rooftop, from which he a good view of the surrounding houses, and sure enough- not too far away from him, he could see a person in a black uniform approaching him rather quickly.

About another minute later, the person had made his or her way to Uryu's rooftop, where she – because from the looks of it, the person in question was a girl – looked around hectically, without noticing Uryu.

"Damn that Urahara..." She grumbled. "Telling me to fight one of these masked monsters for some practical experience, and there's isn't even one where it is supposed to be..."

Uryu raised his eyebrows. He knew that voice... "Arisawa-san?"

She quickly turned around, eyebrows going into a frown. "Ishinsuke-kun? What are you doing here- wait, how can you even see me?!"

"It's Ishida." He corrected her dryly, readjusting his glasses. "If you came here looking for a hollow, I probably already disposed of it."

Tatsuki blinked a few times, and gave him a look that was essentially confusion incarnate. "Whaaat?"

"I'm a Quincy." He said flatly. "Human beings with spiritual powers, which allow us to fight and slay hollows, destroying their souls in the process – unlike the shinigami, which purify souls."

"Uhh... oh." She got out after a moment of disbelieving staring.

"You know, I have felt for a while now that your reiatsu has grown considerably over the recent time, but I thought that this was the result of Kurosaki being unable to contain his own power... " He said, giving her a scrutinizing look. "This is really quite surprising... it is one thing to come across a human being that has been turned into a substitute shinigami like Kurosaki... exceedingly rare, but not unheard of. You however, are another case entirely. A living person that is also a fully-fledged shinigami is something that I have never even heard of."

"Wait, you know Ichigo? You've seen him before, doing all of this… stuff?"

"Yes, you could say that." He nodded. "But that is beside the point here. How is it that you, a girl of nineteen, has not only reiatsu like this, but even outright shinigami powers?"

"None of your business." She said shortly. "More importantly, what do you know about Ichigo? He's the one who got me doing this in the first place."

"Kurosaki asked you to get involved in this?" Uryu asked in an unconvinced tone. Had Kurosaki somehow set her up as successor, or what?

"…not really." Tatsuki scratched her head. "I saw him once, back when a hollow attacked Orihime… and then I met a shady store owner, and now I'm here. So, how is that you know about Ichigo doing these things?"

Ishida frowned. Orihime... that probably was Inoue-san, another one of Ichigo's friends. But who was this 'store owner'? "How I know about Kurosaki is barely relevant at this point... he informed me today that he will be leaving Karakura entirely to me. And you, I suppose."

"Oh, no…" Tatsuki said quietly. "It's Yuzu… it really must have hit him hard, then."

"His sister, yes... at first I thought that this is the reason for him quitting, too, but I think that there might be something else involved in this. I barely know Kurosaki, but based on my encounters with him, I don't think that he's a person that would quit over just that." Uryu didn't quite know why he was talking with Arisawa about this, especially when the fact that she had powers was a more pressing matter, but... hell, there could hardly be any harm in getting this off his mind.

"Nah..." She said solemnly. "I think this is about Yuzu, alright... I was there at the funeral. His sister's spirit was there, watching the entire thing. He was trying to ignore her for whatever reason, but still kept looking at her. Yuzu meant a lot to him, and with her spirit staying around... I think it's no wonder that he's depressed enough to quit."

"Of course... when the spirit of his sister didn't move on, then it falls onto him to perform a soul burial for her to allow her to pass on... no wonder that he'd try to quit now. But he can't leave, though." Ishida shook his head. "Once you enter this world, there is no way out. His days as a human ended when that shinigami gave him powers." He looked at Tatsuki, sizing her up. "But unlike you, he didn't knowingly throw his humanity away. Why did you do it? Was power so important to you? Were you deceived?"

"I know what it means!" Tatsuki snapped. "And if it means Orihime will be safe, it's worth it. Besides, it isn't so bad."

"Well, at least you aren't with the Gotei Thirteen." Uryu shrugged. "Goodbye, Arisawa-san. Good luck hunting." With that, he turned around, disappearing in a flash, leaving a befuddled Tatsuki behind.

oOo

Yuzu was confused. On some level, it had settled in that she had become…different. She couldn't really eat or sleep, and most people couldn't even see her. On the bright side, she could fly, and she didn't feel sick any more. She could walk- well, float- around the house as she pleased. She had tried to do the dishes, as she had before she had gotten sick, only to find out that she could barely even lift a table knife. It was great, being able to be with her family again, but what was the use if she couldn't help?

And so it was that she sat in her old room, moping. Why couldn't it be like before? Why did she have to… die?
Death hadn't been so bad, but seeing all the people that cried for her had been. Seeing Ichigo cry openly, that was just really weird- he never cried.

The door opened, and her mother came in.

"Kaa-chan!" She exclaimed cheerfully, at once forgetting her worries. "Are you feeling better today?"

"Don't you worry about me." Masaki said. "We'll be fine, all of us. You too."

"But I am fine!" Yuzu insisted spiritedly. "I feel better than I have in years!"

"I know." Masaki said, sitting down on her bed. "But…" She hung her head.

"Don't cry, kaa-chan." Yuzu said, hugging her.

"No, it's fine." Masaki said. "Listen, Yuzu… you know that you're not supposed to… be here, right?"

"…you don't want me here?" Yuzu said, her voice trembling.

"I want you here more than anything, Yuzu," her mother said, her voice almost overcome with emotion, "but you can't stay forever." She shook her head. "If only your father was here… he'd know what to do."

"It will be fine, kaa-chan." Yuzu said. "I'll stay here with you just a little while, to make sure you feel okay. After that, we'll see."

"Stay as long as you need." Masaki mumbled, unable to think of any other response.

Good god, what a mess this was…

oOo

Ichigo's mood was, in every sense of the word, terrible.

His conversation with Rukia this morning had hit a sore spot, and had left him, in addition to being quite pissed off, also rather thoughtful. Even though multiple times throughout the day, Rukia had tried to get his attention for whatever reason, he just flat-out ignored her each time. After everything that she had said, he simply wanted to be left alone by her – not only because he was mad at her, but also that he could think.

By the time that he had told Ishida that he'd quit, his decision was clear to him. Moving out of the entire shinigami business probably really was for the best; helping the spirits of the dead and slaying monster had been an unusual kind of fun for a while, but now that his only own family was directly involved in this, the fun was gone, and Ichigo realized that this world was something that he never should have gotten involved in in the first place. He, as a living person, simply shouldn't be responsible for taking care of the dead... especially not when his own sister was one of the dead.

When Ichigo had gotten home earlier today, he hadn't stayed for long. He simply needed to be away from home. Away from Karin, who never told him that she could see spirits, too, leaving him to believe that he was insane. Away from his mother, who was becoming a mystery to him. Away from his Yuzu's spirit, who was giving him more reasons to grieve than he should.
And away from Rukia, who had pissed him off more than she had ever done before.

For hours now, Ichigo had been walking around aimlessly through the streets of Karakura town, like he had done so often since Yuzu's death. He had been in the area of the hospital, the school, the graveyard... wherever his feet took him.

Suddenly, a loud, obnoxious laughter interrupted his brooding.

Ichigo looked up. Without realizing it, his steps had led him into one of the more shady parts of Karakura town, the kind of place where thugs were far from a rarity. In fact, not too far of him, there were a few of these punks standing around... five guys, all around his age. Didn't one of them look familiar, too? Yeah, Ichigo definitely remembered seeing this guy before... Yokochini, or something like that. Ichigo already had a run-in with that guy a few years ago, when that guy and his friends attacked Chad, a long time before he died...

"We-eell, lookie who we got here!" Yokochini said, grinning what he probably thought was a sharkish grin. "If it ain't our old pal Kurosaki- long time no see!" He and his cronies chuckled, walking up and slowly surrounding Ichigo. Ichigo knew the routine; it was the exact same all petty criminals who got off on beating up people one to five did. A bit of mockery, leading up to an all-out assault.

"Yokochini." Ichigo said, his voice flat.

"Whatsa matter, pal? So cold, even though it's been at least a year?" He grinned, spinning around a butterfly knife.

"I'm going to say this once." Ichigo said, looking him in the eye. "Right now, I'm in a really bad mood. And I mean really bad. So if you walk away right now, I won't break your arms and legs."

Yokochini laughed, heartily and long. "You're a real comedian, Kurosaki! That's priceless- if you keep on being that funny, you might even end up in one piece when we're through."

"Hey man, I heard he lost his sister." One of the thugs murmured. "Maybe- maybe we should leave it be."

"Shaddap!" Yokochini snarled. "I owe ya a debt of pain, Kurosaki, and since you decided to walk right into our arms, I figured now's as good a time as any to repay ya." He flicked out the knife's blade. A cold, mirthless smile spread across Ichigo's face.

"So where do we begin, Ichi-chan?" Yokochini said, gesturing with his knife. "Cuttin' off your fingers? Maybe your toes? I know- your balls-"

Ichigo launched himself forward, slamming his forehead into Yokochini's nose, and he felt a gratifying crunch as it connected. A real fighter, a yakuza or a gangbanger, might have been ready to stab him then and there- but Yokochini was a petty thug, and hadn't expected to use the knife as more than a torture device. Shocked, he staggered backwards, dropping the knife.

Before they had time to react, Ichigo turned around, slamming his fist into the throat of the nearest thug. The man gave out a wheeze, and sank to the ground gasping for air. Two of them threw themselves at Ichigo, trying to weigh him down, knock him over- but Ichigo had fought like this before, and after the fights he had had these last few weeks, these punks were nothing. The first one got a knee in the groin for his troubles, and the other got a thumb jammed into his eye.

Brutally and expertly, Ichigo beat them down one by one. One had taken up a pipe, trying to beat him across the head- Ichigo caught his arm, and snapped it like a twig. It felt good feeling it snap, and it felt good watching the thug fall to the ground, whining in pain. Ichigo kicked him for good measure.
And finally, there was only Yokochini still standing.

"H-hey, wait!" The gang leader said, waving his hands in submission. "We was just foolin' around, no harm-"

Ichigo didn't listen. He slammed his fist into Yokochini's jaw, sending the thug backwards once again.

"Please!"

He hit him again. And again. And again. His head hurt, his fists hurt, his body ached; but he could barely even feel it. It was as if the pain was some mild, secondary sensation, easily put aside. So he hit and hit and hit, over and over. Yokochini was squirming on the ground, but it didn't matter. He couldn't run from Ichigo any more than he could run from death or taxation. Blood splattered across Ichigo's face, staining his fists- and it was not his own.

And then suddenly, as he raised his fist for one final really hard hit- a small part of his mind was screaming, stop, you'll kill him, don't do it- his hand was caught, held firm by somebody stronger. He turned to look.

"Hat and clogs."

"The very same." Urahara said solemnly. "This is no time for a student to be out, Kurosaki-san. You should be in bed."

"What are you doing here?" Ichigo spat, in no mood for games.

"Stopping you from doing something you will regret."

"This is none of your business!"

"I made it my business." Urahara said firmly. "And I suggest you take a deep breath, count to ten, and ask yourself what it is you think you're doing."

"Just leave me alone, you stalking bastard!" Ichigo shouted, giving him a fierce glare.

"A bastard? I won't deny that, but at the very least, I'm not a petty murderer. I need you to come to your senses, Ichigo."

A murderer? What was he talking about? Ichigo didn't... wait.

He looked down on Yokochini. The guy's face had become a bloody mess. His nose was broken, several of his teeth were missing, he had a black eye, and his glasses were lying next to him on the floor, shattered into countless pieces. He was still breathing weakly, but had long since lost his consciousness under Ichigo's assault.

Ichigo backed away, walking blindly backwards, until he hit a wall where he collapsed. No, no, no...

"You really should be quite glad that I decided to follow you around for this evening. I am pretty sure that you can imagine what would have happened if you had continued what you have just done." Urahara stated matter-of-factly as the realization of just what the hell he had been doing struck Ichigo. "You can't just keep on sulking for the rest of your days, Ichigo, and much less vent all of your pent-up frustration on other people. Grief can certainly make us do some unusual things, but if the death of your sister has hit you so hard, then why don't you go ahead and commit suicide? You'd be relieved of all your problems, and would be together with your sister again – sure, you'd leave behind your mother, your other sister, all of your friends, the entire existence that you've build yourself up in your nineteen years on this world, but you'd be able to move on together with your sister, and maybe, through a stroke of luck, even enter the afterlife together with her. It all really boils down to a single question: What is more important to you, Ichigo? The living, or the dead?"

Ichigo turned his head towards Urahara. The shopkeeper was keeping a calm expression, but he was also giving Ichigo a calculating and questioning look. "W-What the hell do you know?" He shot back. He had intended to sound confident, maybe even intimidating, but had failed at spectacularly, his tone instead being filled with nothing more than guilt and unrest.

"A good question... what do I know? The answer is quite simply: More than you think." Urahara said... empathetically? "You are not the first person to have lost one of their loved ones, and you are far from being the last one, Ichigo. If everybody who ever lost somebody were to stop like you, humanity would surely be doomed. Grief is natural, it is necessary – but you cannot get consumed by it. Life simply isn't something where you can just stop keep moving forward, just because you grieve. It is quite like a conveyor belt, in fact: Whether you want it or not, it goes on. Now get up, and keep moving forward! After all, you have two perfectly functional legs, don't you?"

With that, he left, walking into the night. Ichigo felt at once relieved that he had been there, angry that he had interfered, and sickened that he had almost killed a man- though it was a pretty rotten man.

He had been right in some ways, though. He had to move on at some point, and this… screaming at Rukia, beating punks up half dead, that wasn't the way. Some day, he would have to send Yuzu on her way to the afterlife.

Just not yet.