A/N: I'm SO sorry that it's been SO damn long since I posted. Life keeps getting in the way & writing keeps taking a back seat.

I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please don't forget to review. I love hearing from each & every one of you. As always, if you have any questions, please feel free to PM me. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Happy Reading!

o~O~o
Chapter 35
o~O~o

Jesse knew what he needed to do but he also knew that things were going to take time. If he was going to make an honest effort to fix things with Beca then it all had to happen organically and over the course of a few days, weeks or even months. He knew that Beca wasn't just going to forgive and forget this time, too much had happened. Attempting to kill himself and Beca finding him splayed out on the floor wasn't just something she was going to get over or forget and he knew that.

He had a lot to make up for but how?

Lately, he and Beca drifted through the house robotically making sure to stay out of each other's way and walking straight back out of the room if the other was already in there. They weren't speaking directly to one another, the notes they exchanged on the fridge didn't count, and they most certainly weren't spending any appreciable amount of time with each other. Sure, they slept in the same bed, but that was the closest they ever were to one another. There was no touching, not even accidental. There was no intimacy, both making sure that neither crossed the imaginary line down the middle of the king sized bed they shared. They laid within arms reach of the other every night, but in reality, they were worlds apart.

While Jesse had spent an hour with Beca at her doctor's appointment, she had nothing nice to say to him, and quite frankly, he didn't blame her. She had made it perfectly clear that while she allowed him to stay, things between them definitely were not ok. In all honesty, he was just happy to hear her voice, even if her words felt like salt being rubbed into fresh wounds. He'd forgotten how much he actually missed her until that moment.

As Jesse drove home from the appointment, the weight of what Beca said in the doctor's office began to really hit home. As her words played on a loop through his mind, he began to wonder what he could do to start chipping away at the impenetrable fortress Beca had thrown up around herself. There had to be a way to get through to her… but how? He knew she was doing what she could to protect her heart and more importantly, herself and their daughter but he had to figure out a way to get through to her some kind of way.

When he got home, the puppies greeted him warily but happily then followed him out the back door. He could tell they were guarded around him and he didn't blame them. He'd been horrible to them, spent months ignoring them, pushing them away when they jumped up on him or brought their toys for him to play with. They would retreat to their kennels when he would yell at them for peeing on the floor, but in reality he knew that if he'd just let them out into the yard when they asked to go outside, he wouldn't have to clean up their messes.

As they ran around the yard, oblivious to everything that was going on, Jesse's mind drifted back to Beca and their unborn daughter as he leaned against the door jamb and watched Roxie and Jagger playing tug of war with their rope. Jagger pulled hard enough that the rope came out of Roxie's mouth and he took off running around the yard as they continued to play a game where only they knew the rules. He chuckled when Roxie caught up with Jagger, tackling him, taking the rope as her prize and immediately running in the opposite direction. It wasn't long before Jagger was hot on her heels.

Jesse found himself smiling at absolutely nothing. He was almost giddy with the excitement of a baby girl. A daughter… a beautiful little miniature version of Beca. How did he get so lucky? Would she look like Beca? He hoped so. He could already imagine a little girl with chubby cheeks, long, curly hair and stunning blue eyes. Would she be a Mommy's girl or a Daddy's girl? At the rate he was going, their Little Miss was definitely going to be a Mommy's girl.

And then, it hit him… like a fist right between the eyes. 'Just how did I get so lucky?' He thought to himself while he watched the dogs play. 'I'm a loser from the bad side of town. I came from fucked up parents, a rundown trailer park with no prospects, skills or talents apart from my voice. By some twist of fate, I meet and fall in love with the most incredible woman who has a loving, supportive family and friends, even if some of them are a little crazy. She gives me a place to live that is beyond my wildest dreams, nice clothes, good food, the latest phones and gadgets and a gorgeous classic car. She went out of her way to find me a recording contract, helped get my band up and running and set me on a path that would ensure that my future was bright and successful. She gave me an incredible wedding, and a life of comfort and stability. And I repay her by sleeping around with four different women, having a bad attitude and an offensive approach to married life. I made her choose me over her family; which she did and I've been acting like a complete dick to repay her.'

Jesse wiped an errant tear away; he knew in his heart of hearts, that it was up to him to make this right. He silently hoped that he and his baby girl would have a relationship like Beca had with her dad. Her dad. His heart lurched even further at the thought. Beca was a Daddy's girl and her heart was probably broken beyond repair because Jesse had made her choose.

What had he done?

Pulling out a chair, Jesse tossed his cigarettes and phone on the table and took a seat. He watched the puppies for a few more minutes before reaching for the cigarettes, lighting one up and inhaling deeply. He loved the familiar burn of the nicotine as it hit his lungs, the only thing that would make him enjoy it more was a stiff drink, something he knew he couldn't and shouldn't have… booze. An old, familiar friend.

"Hello darkness my old friend.

I've come to talk with you again."

Jesse shook his head. "NO! NO! NO!"

He couldn't go back there no matter how much he missed the buzz and the burn. He missed the tingle in his gut that he got when the first sips whiskey hit his belly. He missed the smell and the warmth he felt all over as the booze entered his bloodstream. He missed the high.

Because the urge for a drink came from out of nowhere, Jesse reached for his phone, scrolled through his contacts and found Donald's name. He needed to keep the lines of communication open between himself and his sponsor. Donald had this unbelievable ability to talk Jesse down when all seemed lost, something that even Beca was unable to do. The current situation being what it was with Beca, Jesse and Donald seemed to be talking almost daily. Jesse sent Donald a quick text.

"D - Got a few minutes? I really need to talk. - J"

Within minutes Donald was calling Jesse to find out what was wrong. "Hey Jesse… what's up man?"

"Got the urge-"

"-What did you do?"

"Well… I'm not on the way to the liquor store if that's what you mean."

"That's really good. Where are you?"

"At home."

"You did the right thing by reaching out." Donald told him. "What brought it on this time?"

"I met Beca at her ultrasound appointment this morning."

"That's great! How did it go?"

"Well… without saying the words, she told me to drop dead. And if looks could kill, I would be." Jesse admitted.

"Honestly dude… can you blame her?" Donald asked. "You've been a complete dick these last few months."

Jesse sighed. "No… I don't blame her. I just wish-"

"-Things aren't going to go back to the way they were. You have to admit what you've done and take the necessary steps to right all of the wrongs." Donald told him. "You can't wish away the problems you created."

"I know."

"Do you?" Donald asked. "If you hadn't been such a dick about things, you could go to Luke for advice but you singlehandedly fucked that up. Luke knows Beca better than anyone, he could have been your ace in the hole. Instead, you've managed to make him your enemy."

The two men sat in silence for several minutes. The only sound to be heard was breathing and sighs. Donald hoped that what he said was sinking in and that Jesse was taking it seriously.

Jesse had nothing. No smartass comments, no excuses, no words… nothing. Donald's words hit him hard and the worst part was that he was right. By making Beca choose, Jesse had not only alienated his wife, he managed to alienate everyone who loved her.

Finally breaking the deafening silence, "So… how was the appointment?" Donald asked curiously.

"Oh… well, uh… we're having a baby girl."

"A baby girl! That's awesome news… congrats dude!"

"Thanks man." Jesse said with a smile. "But what about Beca? What do I do?"

"I've probably already said too much and you're probably not gonna want to hear this, but she needs time… and space."

"How much time?"

"As much as she feels like she needs and unfortunately for you, you're just gonna have to wait it out."

Jesse put his cigarette out in the ashtray. "Will she ever forgive me?"

"I don't know but I can tell you that your first mistake was making her choose."

"I know… but I didn't see any other way."

"And yet, you still aren't working on your problems. Last time we talked you told me that y'all haven't spoken two words to each other."

Reaching for the pack of Marlboro's on the table he said, "Today we did… but it wasn't good."

"Jesse, what did you expect? I told you from jump that I didn't think giving Beca an ultimatum was a good idea." Donald told him for what seemed like millionth time. "You can't ask her to cut everyone she loves out of her life and expect that she's going to sit around and be a smiling, happy housewife while you play the victim."

Jesse sighed. "I know, I know… but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do."

"Dude… making her choose was never the right thing to do. If you want to make things right with your wife, you'll contact her family and friends… sooner rather than later."

"Even Luke?" Jesse asked lighting another cigarette.

"Yes… especially Luke." Donald told him. "Every single person you asked her to push away, helped mold her into the person you fell in love with."

Jesse took a deep breath. "Ok, Ok… so, what do I do?"

"First, pull your head out of your ass then, I don't know… send her some flowers or something. Make dinner."

"That might work."

"Might work? I don't want to hear 'might'… mites live on a chicken's ass!" Donald yelled.

Jesse chuckled. Only Donald could make him laugh at a time like this. "I'm not going to ask how you know that."

"Doesn't matter how I know. What matters is that I don't hear you coming up with any ideas to win your wife back."

"I've got a few ideas."

"Care to share?"

"Nah… but I'll let you know if they work."

"Sounds like a plan my man."

"Thanks… I appreciate it."

"Anytime… day or night. I'm here for you man." Donald reassured him. "You know what you have to do… now go, make me proud brother."

"I'm gonna try."

"Awesome!" Donald was all smiles. "Oh and Jesse…"

Jesse put another cigarette to his lips and lit it. "Yeah…"

"I know we're on the phone and I can't see you, but I can tell when you're smoking. I thought you said you were quitting."

"Am not-"

"-Not what? Smoking… or quitting?"

"Smoking."

"I'm calling bullshit dude. How many have you smoked today?"

"Shit!" Jesse said rubbing the back of his neck and exhaling as best as he could.

"How. Many?" Donald asked again.

"A pack and half."

"Fucking hell dude! It's only two o'clock in the afternoon and you've already smoked a pack and half! That's like 30 cigarettes!" Donald yelled. "Are you lighting them off of each other?!"

"No, but I'll cut back… I promise."

"You need to quit that shit. It's not helping your condition and you have a daughter to think about now." Donald admonished him.

"I know… I know."

"Well if 'you know' then you damn well need to do something about it."

"I get it and I'll quit… I promise."

"Good!" Donald said in a very satisfied tone. "Look, I gotta run. I've given you a lot to think about. If you need anything else, don't hesitate to call, otherwise, I'll see you at the meeting tomorrow."

"Thanks dude. I'll be there." Jesse said before hanging up.

Jesse looked at the screensaver on his phone as the call ended. It was a picture of him and Beca on their wedding day. It was one of the happiest days of his life… or was it? He was so torn in that moment that he almost wanted to call Donald back. He knew Donald would tell him that it seemed as if he wanted the dangerous lifestyle more than he wanted Beca. In a way, he wanted four different types of cake and to be able to eat them all never having to choose one over the others but knew he couldn't have a sliver of each one. It was time to put his fork into one and one only.

Flipping through the apps on his phone, he opened his calendar and he realized that A) it was the anniversary of the night that he and Beca met and B) that Valentine's Day was only two weeks away. It was definitely time to take action and as he called the dogs to come inside, he collected his cigarettes and phone and went inside to make a plan.

o~O~o

When Beca got back to the office after her appointment, with a sub sandwich and a large lemonade in hand, she sat down and started to check her emails. As hard as she tried, she just couldn't concentrate. Her emotions were at war with themselves. She was pissed that Jesse had the nerve to show his face at Dr. Kaiser's office but she was even more pissed at herself for losing her temper.

The on the other hand, she was beyond overjoyed that she finally knew the baby's gender. She wanted more than anything to call her mom and dad to share the happy news but she knew that she couldn't do that, not since making that stupid fucking promise to Jesse and for what? Absolutely nothing. He hadn't done anything to make things between them any better. Once again, she was doing everything while he sat around with his face jammed into the fucking phone that she paid for.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm herself, she stood up stretched and walked over to the wall of windows. She watched as the people on the street below appeared to scurry about without a care in the world. A part of her wondered what that would be like. After finding out that she's carrying a baby girl, she should be over the moon happy, spreading the news like wildfire and shopping until her feet ached. Instead, she was hiding in her office like it was just another day.

She missed Luke. She knew it would only take one call or text to him, and he'd be there with his own lunch and it would be as if nothing had ever happened. She also knew he wouldn't tell Jesse that they had gotten together but to Beca, a promise was a promise and she'd know that she broke it. So, she was on her own to celebrate all things pink and sparkly.

Her mom, Maw Maw, Aunt Gail and Aubrey would go crazy if they knew a little Beca was on the way. Aubrey would start boxing up all the things that the twins had outgrown so that Beca could have them for her baby. And Amy would start bedazzling the ass end of pink velour jogging suits. She missed all of them. She missed Sunday brunch, family dinners, impromptu get-togethers and girl time… something she never thought she'd miss.

Rubbing her bump and sighing, she turned back toward her desk, she ultimately decided to research baby names. Now that she knew the baby was a girl, it would make choosing a name so much easier, especially since she was the only one at this point, that truly knew her daughter. As she sat fully immersed in the task at hand, she was startled by a sudden knock on her glass office wall. Looking up, she saw the largest, most obscene arrangement of baby pink roses she'd ever seen. Without another glance, she wrote something down as she waved the delivery guy into her office.

"Umm… I'm pretty sure those belong to someone else." Beca informed the delivery driver, turning back to her computer screen. "If you walk back out front, Lilly and Kimmy should be able to direct to you the rightful owner."

Taking the card from the arrangement, the driver said politely but with an urgent tone to his voice, "Mrs. Rebeca Swanson… same name that's on the door, unless there's two Rebeca Swanson's that work for Warner."

Beca shook her head. That couldn't be right. Who in the hell would be sending her flowers? She had alienated everyone that loved her and Jesse wouldn't send flowers because he was too wrapped up in himself. "No, that's me. I… umm… just put them over there." Beca said pointing to the credenza by the windows.

Placing the vase down carefully, "Do you want the card?" the driver asked.

"No, I'll look at it later."

"Ok, I just need a signature then I'll be out of your hair." Beca signed the delivery ticket and reached for her wallet to give the driver a tip. "Oh, thank you but no… the tip has already been taken care of."

"Thank you." Beca said to the driver's retreating form as she put her wallet back in her purse. Realizing she had been a little blunt, she called after his retreating form. "Have a nice day."

In an attempt to ignore the flowers, Beca returned to her attention to her computer screen. She continued to make her list of baby names but as hard as she tried, her eye kept being drawn to the flowers. Curiosity was starting to get the better of her and she found herself wondering if Dr. Kaiser had called her mom. She hadn't exactly told her that she couldn't tell her mom. So, perhaps the flowers were from her mom and dad.

There were so many roses packed into the vases that there was no room for any greenery or those silly little white filler flowers that got everywhere when they dried out. She wasn't sure she had seen so many roses in one place before. They were absolutely gorgeous and filled her office with the most wonderful aroma, not that weird greenhouse rose smell, it was actually a very pleasant and fresh rosey smell. She found herself drawn to the arrangement. Ready or not… it was time to solve the mystery of who sent the roses.

Beca took the card from where it was nestled in the bow around the vase. She didn't recognize the handwriting but that really wasn't unusual, most people ordered flowers over the phone or on the internet these days. Carefully opening the envelope, because she really did think that somehow the flowers were delivered to the wrong person, she removed the card.

"I really want to make this work.
Please forgive me… again.
I love and miss you."
~Jesse~

Without another thought, Beca put the card back in the envelope and tossed it in the top drawer of her desk. She had things to do and buying into Jesse's latest 'I'm sorry' idea just wasn't one of them. With a huff, she grabbed a bottle of water and her cellphone, ignored the clearly expensive arrangement of flowers and headed toward the studio.

Beca worked later than she expected to. By the time she looked up from the mixing boards, it was well after nine and even though she had been to the doctor, she had still managed to put in over fourteen hours for the day. She rubbed her neck and shoulders and stretched her back before she decided that she was done for the day. She turned everything off and left the studio, trying to ignore the low rumble in her belly that told her she was hungry. As she walked back to her office to collect her purse, she walked past Paco, one of the housekeepers.

"You're here late Beca… everything ok?"

"Oh, hi Paco…. I didn't see you there.' Beca said clearly startled. "I didn't expect to stay this late but I'm trying to finish up the tracks on Shawn Mendez's new album."

Beca really wanted to get home and take a nice long bath but her mother's words began to ring in her ears. 'Always treat the housekeepers like you would treat the President of the company.'

"I'm sure it'll be awesome." He told her. "You always work so hard."

"Thanks… so do you." Beca told him.

"Oh, I don't know about that." Paco said as he blushed. It was nice to know that someone noticed and appreciated his hard work. "So, Shawn Mendez is an artist here?"

"He is! We just got him from Island Records." Beca said excitedly. "You know of him?"

"My granddaughter, Valentina, talks about him non-stop. She 'loves' him." Paco rolled his eyes.

"Shawn will be here next week. I'll get him to autograph some stuff for your granddaughter." Beca said smiling. She loved being able to make others happy with what she considered small gestures. "He's going on tour soon, I'll make sure to get some backstage passes for Valentina."

"Oh, that's not necessary."

"Oh but it is… this office would be an absolute train wreck without you."

Paco blushed. Trying to change the subject he said, "Is it your anniversary already?"

"My anniversary?" Beca asked quite puzzled.

"I saw the beautiful roses in your office. I thought it might be your anniversary."

"Oh, no it's not my anniversary. I'm not sure why I got them." Beca lied. "You should take them to Lola."

Paco started to shake his head. "Oh no, Beca. I couldn't bring your flowers to my wife."

"Paco, please take them. I don't need or want them." She said as she started to walk toward her office. "I'll leave them on Lilly's desk for you."

Beca wasn't taking no for an answer, hell… if she looked at her bank account, she'd probably find that she paid for the damn things anyway, so if she wanted to give them away, she was damn well gonna.

Paco was a good man, he worked hard to support his family and he deserved to take something nice home to his wife. Lola always sent homemade taquitos and tamales to the office. Beca always tried to pay Paco for them but he would never take the cash, so she would try to do sweet things for him. She would bring him homemade goodies or treat him to lunch every now and then.

"If you insist-"

"-I insist… please take the roses to Lola."

"Thank you Beca. I will. It's actually her birthday tomorrow so she'll be thrilled." Paco noticed that Beca's entire demeanor changed at the mention of the roses. He hadn't meant to upset her. "Please be careful getting home and have a nice night."

"You too Paco. Please wish Lola a happy birthday for me." Beca said as she started to walk away. "See you tomorrow."

As promised, Beca moved the vase of roses to Lilly's desk for Paco then gathered her things to leave. When she got into the elevator, exhaustion suddenly set in. It was days like this one that made her wish that she had a driver. She could call Bernie but it was late and he had already gone home for the night and she didn't have the patience to wait for Uber.

Her feet hurt. The five inch heels she was wearing clearly weren't helping and she wondered how long it would be before she had to switch to flats. Beca shook her head, exited elevator and walked across the sky bridge to the parking garage, she had never been more happy to see her car then she was at that moment.

The drive home was long and silent. Beca couldn't get Jesse's words out of her head. "Please forgive me… again". Would she survive 'again'? Could she survive it? Did she have it inside of herself to forgive him… 'again'? The truth was she was aching inside. She had given up everything, including her family and friends, to work on her marriage and Jesse, per usual, had done nothing but ignore her and she honestly couldn't say that she was surprised. She didn't know how much more she could take but knew her sole purpose now was to look after her unborn daughter.

When Beca pulled into the garage, she was relieved to be home but dreaded walking into the house at the same time. She hated feeling this way, her home was her sanctuary. She loved her home but she hated what waited on the other side of the door. Collecting, her purse and laptop bag she got out of the car and made her way inside.

The house was dark and she silently thanked God that Jesse had already gone to bed. It meant that she didn't have to deal with his questions about the doctor's appointment or the "forgive me" flowers which frankly she wished she had made the driver take back until she saw the look on Paco's face when he knew he could take them to his wife. As she made her way across the family room, she dropped her bags on the couch and called for Roxie and Jagger to follow her upstairs.

"Come on babies… let's go upstairs and settle in for the night."

Roxie and Jagger yawned and stretched before happily following Beca toward the stairs. As she turned toward the kitchen, intent on getting a light snack for dinner, she saw a flickering light from the dining room that caught her attention. When she glanced over she saw Jesse sitting at the table, with dinner for two waiting. She saw that he'd prepared a cold buffet style dinner, salad, sandwiches and fresh fruit. He'd lit two candles and laid out the linen tablecloth and napkins. Without a word, Beca looked away and walked up the stairs.

She saw the disappointment in Jesse's eyes but didn't care anymore and she hated that she felt that way. She would have loved nothing more than to enjoy a meal with her husband after a long day at work, but the gesture didn't feel sincere… it felt fake and forced.

She reached down and slowly pulled her heels off of her swollen feet then stripped off her clothes before tossing them in a hamper. Beca turned on the faucet in the tub and poured some bubble bath under the running water. As she stood upright waiting for the tub to fill, she walked over to the vanity to put her hair up and wash her face. Reaching over to turn on her ipod, she saw her reflection in the mirror and turned sideways before running her hand over her bump. The baby immediately started to move around as she recognized her mother's touch.

Beca stood quietly wondering what her daughter would be like. Would her hair be wavy and smooth like Beca's or coarse and curly like Jesse's? Would she have blue eyes or brown? Would she be short and petite like her mommy or tall like her father? Beca tried to refrain from saying 'Daddy' because so far, Jesse was a father, not a Daddy.

She shook her head. She needed to wash the day away and more importantly, she needed to be away from Jesse or thoughts of Jesse. Still… she found herself thinking of him but she simply didn't have the energy to deal with him or his shit. As she laid in the bath, she could hear Jesse banging around in the kitchen, presumably putting the uneaten food away while pitching a child sized fit. She was quietly glad he now knew how she felt on a daily basis when he never said thank you or showed any appreciation for anything she ever did for him.

It wasn't long before all was quiet for a few minutes, and then, there it was… the back door slammed shut. Jesse was going to smoke until his lungs were so full of nicotine and tar that he wouldn't be able to breathe properly. She wasn't sure why he even bothered with the breathing treatments the doctor ordered, as long as he was smoking the treatments weren't going to do a damn bit of good. She was getting tired of hearing him cough and hack and spit. It was beyond disgusting and as much as she missed him, and if she was honest, she really did miss him, she was glad that he wasn't kissing her or doing other things to her with that mouth.

Beca couldn't be bothered with it all anymore. If he didn't care about himself then she sure as hell wasn't going to give a good damn. She was going to chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sounds of James Bay coming through the speakers, as her body relaxed into the warm lavender water, allowing it to soothe her her sore, achy muscles and feet.

As much as she loved being pregnant, and she truly did, she didn't like that her hips and feet always seemed to hurt. She was always tired and sleep rarely, if ever, came to her. If she was honest, the lack of sleep was her own fault. She was constantly trying to make sure that she didn't roll over to touch Jesse in the middle of the night. She knew that she should just move into one of the other bedrooms but it was her house, her room and her bed but somewhere deep down, she knew that having him close by was comforting.

Almost an hour later, Beca woke up feeling sufficiently pruned and noticed that the bubbles were all gone. She enjoyed the last of the water as it slowly drained before getting out of the tub and getting ready for bed. She had her routine down to an exact science… so did the puppies. The minute she got out the tub they were following her around the bathroom waiting for her to sit down so they could lick the lotion off of her legs before bounding their way to their beds under the window.

When Beca finally laid down, she took a deep breath and she wiggled in amongst the pillows before finding the sweet spot that brought the sandman her way. She had finally started to drift off when Jesse walked in the bedroom smelling like the bottom of an ashtray. The smell never used to bother her, but since finding out she was pregnant she just couldn't stomach it.

As she laid there pretending to sleep, she silently prayed that he was going to shower before getting into bed.

o~O~o

Every day for the next two weeks, Jesse had flowers delivered to Beca at her office. The arrangements seemed to get bigger each day and always included song lyrics or a personal note from Jesse. Beca was unsure what was going on. Jesse had suddenly decided to take an interest in her again and she wasn't exactly sure how to feel about it.

Looking around her office, Beca began to wonder if Los Angeles was soon going to be experiencing a shortage of flowers. She did finally look at her online banking app and discovered that not one of the arrangements had been charged to her.

One point for Jesse.

Jesse also made sure to prepare healthy lunches and snacks for her to take to work. The amount of food he packed for a single day was enough to feed Beca as well as Lilly and Kimmy for a week. The softsided beach cooler was always packed full of fresh fruits and veggies as well as foods that were high in calcium and protein.

As much as Beca hated to admit it, the gesture was nice. It meant that she didn't have to go down to the commissary on the first floor and that there was always something to eat within arms reach. The flowers on the other hand, were way out of hand. Her office was beginning to look like a funeral home and one of the arrangements was making her sneeze and her nose itch. Everything that he was doing was throwing her off and while she really didn't know what his hook was, she decided to go along with it because she just didn't have the energy to fight it.

Every evening Beca would walk in the house, put the cooler on the kitchen counter and go upstairs for a bath. Jesse always made sure to check what she had eaten throughout the day and what, if anything was left over, mentally calculating approximately how many calories she had consumed for the day before repacking the cooler for the next day.

Beca didn't know that Jesse was keeping a spreadsheet and charting her daily caloric intake. What Jesse didn't know was that his data would never be accurate because Beca was sharing the food with Lilly and Kimmy.

While Beca and Jesse still weren't really on speaking terms, they had begun to at least say hello and goodbye as they walked in or out of the house. There were a couple of times when Jesse would pass her and intentionally brush against her in hopes that she would react but the only reaction he got was her stepping further off to the side to move out of his way. And once while she was staring out of the kitchen window and washing up a few dishes, he kissed her on the back of the head as he walked past. She didn't react to that either and wasn't really sure how she felt about it.

Jesse was starting to wonder if he would ever get through to her. He was trying everything he knew to make her happy, to bridge the gap and yet they weren't any closer to making up. He knew she wasn't sleeping well, if at all, and when she did sleep, he wasn't really sure that she was resting but he knew better than to say anything. Instead, when she was asleep, he would lay in bed watching her. Sure it was creepy, but she was beautiful, even without a stitch of makeup on and he was ready to admit to himself and the world that he missed his wife.

On the morning of Valentine's Day, Jesse crept quietly downstairs to prepare a special breakfast for Beca. He silently hoped that today would finally be the day that Beca broke her silence. He was ready to talk about everything that had happened and he hoped that she would be too.

Jesse took his time preparing a breakfast that he hoped Beca would truly enjoy. He plated the bacon, eggs, and homemade hash browns before reaching for a cup of yogurt and some fresh fruit fruits. After placing all of the food on the tray, he poured a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice and grabbed Beca's prenatal vitamins.

"Come on Jag… let's go wake mommy." He said as he carefully made his way upstairs. He tried not to make too much noise in case Beca was still asleep but Jagger thumped his way up the stairs. "Geez… no secrets with you around… ya lummox."

When he walked in the room, Roxie was on the bed licking Beca's face.

"Rox! Down, now!" He said through clenched teeth.

Beca rolled over. "She's fine."

Beca spoke… to him. That was definitely a welcomed surprise. Maybe today would be a good day after all.

"I made breakfast." He said shooing Roxie off the bed before putting the tray on the bed as Beca sat up.

Beca's eyes got big as she took a deep breath. "Thanks." She said excitedly as she dug in.

Jesse smiled as he pulled a couple of bones out of this back pocket for the dogs. He tossed them toward their beds before he laid on the bed next to Beca. She was eating, which was a plus. He watched as she checked emails and read the news on her ipad while eating.

Jesse suddenly had a good feeling about the day. He didn't want to appear over excited but inwardly, he was jumping up and down like a small child. He leaned over and kissed Beca's cheek before walking into the bathroom to run a bath for her.

Beca didn't know what to do about this new Jesse. He had gone from going out of his way to ignore her to being completely and totally checked in and aware of everything she was doing. There had been several nights when she woke up from her rare naps to find Jesse watching her. Luckily, he didn't know that she knew that he was watching her. While some people might think it was weird, knowing that he was keeping an eye on her was strangely comforting.

After eating breakfast, Jesse took the tray and told Beca that he had a warm lavender bath ready for her. Feeling a little apprehensive, Beca wondered, who was this man and what did he do with her husband?

Once in the bathroom, Jesse double checked the temperature of the water while Beca washed her face, then undressed and brushed her teeth.

As Beca approached the side of the tub, took Jesse's offered hand and stepped into the tub. As she laid back she asked, "Jesse… what's this all about?"

"What do you mean?"

"Lunch every day, flowers, breakfast in bed… what's it all mean?"

Jesse took a deep breath and carefully searched for the right words. He kneeled next to the tub and dipped his hand into the water, pouring the water that collected in his hand over Beca's bump. He hadn't really touched her in months and as much as he ached to do it, he knew that he didn't have the right to. This was the best he could hope for. "I'm sorry… for all of it. Everything… all of it. I don't know what I was thinking. I know now that I should have just spoken to you about it instead of trying to handle it on my own."

"You know… it's going to take more than some food and flowers to make up for everything that's happened."

"I know… but I'm really hoping that with time you'll learn to love and trust me again."

Beca sighed. "Jesse, I've always loved you, but I have to admit, over the last few months, I haven't liked you very much at all. As far as trust… well… that's going to take some time. I not ready to trust you again."

"I understand."

"Look… a lot has happened. Let's concentrate on making things better from here on out." Beca said rubbing her bump. "This baby girl is going to be here before we know it. We need to get our shit straight before then."

She was right. Time was ticking. There wasn't much time before the baby would be there with them. They needed to work on things now, before she came. She didn't ask to be here and she certainly didn't deserve to come into a dysfunctional home.

"Do you think we'd be like this if Bodhi was here?"

"No, I don't think so." She said without hesitation. "If he was here, you wouldn't have tried to drink yourself to death."

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that."

"Are you?"

Jesse sighed. "Yes, I am. It was a stupid thing to do. And what's worse is that you found me like that."

"No, what's worse is what if I hadn't found you in time?"

"I don't want to think about that."

"Jesse… why? Why did you do it?"

"Because… you were in control. You made everything seem ok when, in fact, it wasn't ok. It isn't ok."

"I wasn't in control. I was falling apart. I felt like my insides had been ripped out of me." Beca admitted. "I went from being pregnant, from a place of so much promise to a place of emptiness. I had a baby but there was nothing tangible to love. He was gone and I needed you but you were so wrapped up in yourself that you didn't even notice. I needed you to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be ok. Instead, you tried to drown yourself in the contents of a bottle."

"I know… and for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I wasn't able to see past my hatred for what happened."

"I've been alone Jesse… all alone. You have an outlet. You can call and talk to Donald… anytime day or night. Who do I have to talk to?" Beca questioned. "You made me choose and in doing so, I cut everyone I love and care for out of my life."

Jesse felt extremely guilty. He had asked her to choose and now she didn't have anyone to vent her frustrations to. It wasn't any wonder why she had been so standoffish. Yet, he still couldn't make himself tell her to call her parents, Amy, Aubrey or even Luke. After everything, he was still being extremely selfish.

"Look… this baby girl is a fresh start, a new beginning for all of us. She deserves the world. She deserves two loving parents and a happy home."

"Can you ever forgive me?"

"I think I'm already starting to but please, don't make me rush." Beca begged. "You've had your time, now I need mine."

"I won't… I promise." Jesse told her. He suddenly had an idea. "Do you have any plans today?"

Beca shook her head. "No, I don't think so. Why?"

"I'd like to take my wife out on a date."

"That sounds nice." Beca smiled.

"Where would you like to go?"

"You pick." Jesse grinned. He knew what he wanted to do. "Can you be ready in a couple of hours?"

Beca laid her head back and closed her eyes. "Mmm hmm."

Jesse took in the sight of Beca's naked form, a sight he couldn't get enough yet hadn't seen in months. He watched as her hands gently and lovingly rubbed her bump. Without a second thought, he reached over and touched her belly. Her body stiffened but relaxed just as quickly and surprisingly, she didn't push him away.

Beca was a little taken aback when Jesse placed his hand on her belly. Back when things were going well, she wouldn't have questioned it and while she welcomed his touch she knew there

For several moments, they were back to the way things were. Jesse enjoyed the feel of Beca's skin on his and the way their daughter moved rhythmically beneath his hand. He wondered if the baby knew his touch or if she was reacting to Beca's. He couldn't blame her if she didn't know the difference, especially since he hadn't been around.

Beca sighed contentedly. "Jess…"

"Yeah, I'm here."

"The last couple of weeks have been nice."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah… the packed lunches, the flowers, dinner-"

Jesse chuckled. "You never even ate dinner… not once and I cooked every night."

"I know… and I'm sorry."

"No big deal… I guess."

"It is a big deal… I never thanked you."

"You don't have to. I'm the one that owes you a shit ton of apologies."

"Jesse… everything you did, it was all appreciated, I promise but-"

"-But what?"

"I'll go on a date with you but not having sex with you." Beca mumbled, never opening her eyes. She knew if she did that she would lose her will and she couldn't let that happen.

Jesse shook his head. He had hoped that she would cave but he also didn't blame her for being cautious when it came to him. He let out the breath he'd been holding. "Ok."

"Jess… I love you but I still don't trust you and until I do, I don't intend on falling into bed with you."

Jesse smirked. "Well… there's always the couch."

"No Jesse… just… no."

"Sex can't fix it this time."

"Ok…" Jesse said slightly deflated. "I'll leave you to it. Let me know when you're ready to go."

"I'll be down shortly."

"Take your time… no rush."

o~O~o

Beca didn't rush. She actually found herself dragging her feet to get ready. This was welcomed surprise but it definitely wasn't how she saw her day playing out. She never in her wildest dreams imagined that she and Jesse would have a long talk or that he would be taking her out for the day.

She was nervous… really nervous.

What did Jesse have up his sleeve and more importantly, should she trust him?

What Beca knew for sure was that she was tired of fighting with Jesse. She was tired of living the way they had been. But most importantly, she was tired of being alone.

She made sure her hair and makeup were perfect, the hardest part was deciding what to wear. Jesse hadn't given her any idea where they were going or how she should dress. So after standing in her closet for nearly twenty minutes she finally decided that casual was the way to go. After all, Jesse rarely, if ever, dressed up and if by some chance he was dressed up then she could change before they left.

Selecting a plain light grey v-neck t-shirt and a pair of dark wash maternity jeans Beca got dressed before slipping her feet into her favorite pair of chucks. Giving herself a once over, she made a mental note to make an appointment with Craig to get her hair trimmed. Her hair had gotten very long, when it was wet, it was all the way down to her waist which was a little too long to be considered manageable. The layers were starting to grow out and the weight of her hair was becoming a nuisance.

Grabbing a ponytail holder, Beca put it around her wrist before putting her perfume and lip gloss on. "Alright baby girl…" Beca said patting her bump. "Maybe we can get some shopping done today and eventually decorate your room. Let's go."

Beca started down the stairs and was welcomed by Jagger and Roxie as well as a "Wow!" from Jesse.

"You ready?" She asked.

"Yep!" Jesse responded taking her hand. "Let's go!"

Beca glanced at their hands. They still fit together like puzzle pieces. She'd missed feeling his hand in hers. "Sooo… where are we going?"

Jesse smiled. "It's a surprise!"

A/N: Well... what did you think? What does Jesse have up his sleeve? Will Beca be surprised or will she be disappointed yet again? Let me know your thoughts.