Author's Notes:
Here we go, off to Soul Society! About time, too!
The sun was shining bright on the thirteen court guard divisions, its radiant bright walls making the place almost shine. Abarai Renji couldn't have cared less, though- the events of these last few months had made him uneasy, and right now it would be fair to say he was on edge. Smacking that Quincy around had helped relieve some tension, but now it was back with a vengeance. He had just finished inspection rounds with his captain, and the two of them were headed out to grab some lunch- or "ingest a well-earned supper", as his noble captain would probably put it.
Something about this whole mess was… wrong. Not the dinner; the place they usually went to served really good shrimp- no, it was more how Rukia, his childhood friend (and definitely only childhood friend and nothing more) was facing charges. It was strange that she was charged at all; the system was unwilling to punish nobility unless it had been so blatantly disregarding the law that it would do more harm not to ignore it. He could perhaps have believed that her brother, his captain, would have insisted- he was zealously devoted to keeping the law, after all. But the order hadn't come from him at all. And now, he'd heard talk about… an execution? That made no god damn sense- Rukia had broken the rules, but even for non-nobility that would normally not result in more than a demotion, a fine of some kind, or at worst a couple of months in prison. This was absurd.
"You are troubled, Renji." Byakuya observed. Fucker- he always knew how to read reiatsu well enough to read emotion.
"This ain't right," Renji grumbled. "Rukia doesn't deserve this- with all due respect, taicho, something's wrong with the law here."
He had half expected his captain to snap at him, in his cold, collected way, but he simply said,
"It is out of our hands. We may not always agree with the rulings of our betters, but we must remember that they are our betters. Those who judge earned their place through wisdom and experience that we cannot compare to."
"Betters, my arse." Renji nearly choked- it was exactly what he had wanted to say, but only one person he knew was audacious enough to say it to the face of his staunch captain.
"Shiba Kukaku -dono." Byakuya said coldly. It was her- Kukaku, the pipe-smoking, busty, one-armed force of nature, the "mad bomber", head of the Shiba household. As usual, she wore fairly casual- and scandalously revealing, going by the prudish standards of noble perceptions of decency- red outfit with the Shiba crest, a zanpakutou held in place at her back.
"I heard the central forty-six got its titties in a twist about a simple runaway," she said, grinning, "and I was wondering what is being done about it. She's a good kid."
"I would like to make the audacious proposition that perhaps, if the Kuchiki shall mind business particular to the Kuchiki, the Shiba might mind business particular to the Shiba." Byakuya replied, sounding almost completely emotionless.
"Whatever you say, Byakuya-san." She said, walking by them. "Don't forget she's your sister, though."
Byakuya glared at her- it was subtle, but Renji had learned to tell the difference between a condescending gaze and a glare by now.
"Sheesh, she sure got some nerve," he mumbled. "Her house isn't even that big of a deal anymore."
"Nobility must be given the respect it deserves." Byakuya said, in a tone that Renji had learned meant something along the lines of 'fuck off'.
"Understood, Kuchiki-taicho." Renji quietly said. He had been around his captain for long enough to know that whenever he resorted to this tone, the conversation was just about over. But at the same time, him using this tone meant something else, too; that the situation had gotten him more worked up than it originally seemed.
oOo
"Very well then! Kurosaki-san, Arisawa-san, Ishida-san, Inoue-san, and of course Yoruichi-san... it is finally time to get started! The day of your grand move against Soul Society has finally come! From now on, it will finally show if you will be the drinking the wine of victory, or if you will be kissing the Gotei's feet in defeat..." Urahara proclaimed proudly.
They all had gathered once more in Urahara's basement in front of a big stone... something. All of their preparations were complete, and all arrangements had been made – the only thing that remained to be done was for them to actually get started.
...Which, if Urahara's speech was anything to go by, might take a while unless somebody interrupted him.
"Cut the speeches already, hat and clogs! You're wasting our time here!" Ichigo shouted, annoyed at the shopkeeper's overly long dialogue.
Urahara gave him an irritated look, which was about the equivalent of an outright mad glare for any normal person. "I am greatly offended, Kurosaki-san. I have been working on this speech for weeks, and you just brush it aside? You do severely lack in appreciation for the fine art of grand speeches."
"Ichigo is right, though, Kisuke. This is hardly the time to be giving speeches." Yoruichi, in her preferred cat form, said. Uryu, Tatsuki, Orihime and Tessai all nodded, and mumbled something to voice their agreement.
"Mutiny! Everybody is turning against me! Oh brave new world, what have you come to?" Urahara exclaimed in an overly dramatic way. "But if you insist, then very well, the speech shall be skipped. Which brings us to..."
"The Senkaimon." Tessai finished the sentence for him.
"That's the gate-thingy that is going to take us to that Soul Society place, right?" Orihime asked in a curious tone.
"Correct! Fifty points to Inoue-san!" Urahara lauded, laughing out loud. "In order to reach the Soul Society, you have to pass through a gate, such as this one. To be one hundred percent correct, though, normally, a Senkaimon can only send souls to the Soul Society – which in our case would present us with a not-so negligible problem, since only Kurosaki-san and Arisawa-san can move around freely as souls, on account of their being shinigami."
"Then how does this particular Senkaimon allow us to pass through it as well?" Uryu asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow.
"Valid question." Tessai nodded. "Basically, this thing changes the things that physically make up your body so that they consist of nothing more than spirit particles, which essentially allows you to move around freely in Soul Society in your original form."
Uryu cupped his chin. "Sounds simple enough..."
"Ah, there's a catch to it, though." Urahara said cheerfully. "Before you actually reach the Soul Society, you have to pass through the Dangai, a dimension between this world, and Soul Society. In order to actually make it through the Dangai, you are only given four minutes. If you don't make it in that time limit, you're trapped forever in the Dangai."
Tatsuki gulped. "And this is the only way?"
"The only one."
"Well, sounds simple enough... we only gotta run like hell, right?" Tatsuki asked.
"Pretty much." Yoruichi answered. "If you are getting cold feet now, then I suggest that you best turn back now. In comparison to what awaits you in Soul Society itself, this is nothing."
Ichigo pulled a big, confident grin. "Just who the hell do you think we are? We already made our decision weeks ago. Some crappy time limit like that isn't going to stop us, let alone change our minds. We are going to do this."
Uryu, Tatsuki and Orihime nodded in agreement.
"Well said, Kurosaki-san! Now, let's get started!" Urahara shouted. Tessai and he positioned themselves to each side of the gate, kneeling down. A moment later, the center of the stone object began to glow with a bright, white light, which grew bigger and bigger, until it was big enough for a person to pass through.
"Come on, let's get going!" Yoruichi shouted once the light reached that point, charging right into it. Ichigo, Tatsuki, Uryu and Orihime followed the cat, all of them one after another vanishing into the light.
Once the all of them were gone, Urahara and Tessai moved away from the gate. With that which was keeping it active gone, the light quickly got weaker, and soon faded away completely. Even after the light was gone, both Urahara and Tessai silently stared at the gate for a while.
"Well then... I suppose all we can really do now is wait." Tessai broke the silence after a while, before walking away.
Urahara stayed where he was, quietly staring at the gate, the most devious grin on his face. "I have made my move, Sosuke... now let's see what you do on your turn."
oOo
They ran. It was dark, and Ichigo wondered how they were running at all, how they weren't running into any walls- but run they did, following Yoruichi's reiatsu. She had taken the lead, and a good thing too- the only thing he could see at all were slight contours, and Ishida's bright white suit.
Slowly, their eyes adjusted to the dark, and as he looked around, Ichigo saw walls, like in a cave tunnel made by some giant worm. The ground- or whatever it could be called- was at least flat, no pitfalls or pebbles to trip over.
"Hurry!" Yoruichi urged. "We'll be there soon- but don't stop running; we only have two minutes left!"
And before long, they could see a spot of bright, far up the tunnel, slowly growing larger as they ran. Doubling their efforts, the four of them ran, hurrying towards the exit, and soon, they were out.
And, Ichigo realized, mid-air. Very quickly, it became clear that while the spiritual world didn't quite follow Newtonian physics, gravity was still in place. They fell.
Quickly, Ichigo twisted around so that he came down feet first, knees bent. He charged himself with reiatsu to counteract the impact, and he could see Tatsuki doing the same. Within just seconds, they had landed. Ichigo tumbled over, rolling on the ground, but was more or less unhurt. He got up, seeing Tatsuki standing, and… Orihime, in the arms of Uryu.
"Uh?" He said, getting to his feet.
"Inoue-san seemed lost in the fall, so I took the liberty of ensuring her safe landing." Ishida said dryly- less dryly than usual- putting her down and adjusting his glasses.
"Nice one, Romeo." Ichigo grunted.
"I'd like to point out that because of my intervention, Inoue-san and I landed quite stably, while the two of you barely kept upright." Uryu said, sounding almost angry.
"Thank you, Ishida-kun." Orihime said, almost instantly deflating the situation. "I… I didn't expect that we'd be falling, that's all."
"Erm, er, don't mention it. I have my pride as a quincy." Uryu mumbled.
"Enough babbling." Yoruichi said, casually scratching her ear with her back foot. "Come, follow me. We're going to go visit a friend of mine."
Ichigo looked around himself. They had landed in what appeared to be a small forest... and there was nothing particularly outstanding about this forest, too; it looked just like any other forest in the world of the living. The sky above them looked totally normal, too – it was as if they still were in the world of the living.
"So, this is the afterlife? This all looks a whole lot more like the world of the living than I thought it would..." Ichigo said, following Yoruichi, who was walking a bit ahead of them at a calm pace.
Yoruichi snorted. "What were you expecting? A fluffy cloud heaven, like some religions in the world of the living believe in?"
"No, but..." Ichigo shrugged uncertainly "I don't know, something more dignified, I guess? Something where you immediately think that it's all hunky-dory?"
"Is that so? Well, no such luck." Yoruichi said dismissively. "Now hurry up. If memory serves me right, and we are where I think we are, we still have quite a way to go before we reach Shiba Kukaku's place."
"Shiba Kukaku? Is he that friend that you're taking us to?" Tatsuki inquired.
"That's the one." Yoruichi confirmed.
"What do we need this Kukaku's help for, though?" Uryu interjected, adjusting his glasses.
"I'll explain that once we actually get to Kukaku. Now come on! Less talking, more hurrying! Just because we have two weeks until Rukia's execution, it doesn't mean that we can just waste our time!" Yoruichi shouted, starting to run, forcing Ichigo and the others to run as well in order to keep up with her.
Not a word was spoken after that – everybody was too busy running, and actually keeping up with Yoruichi. Only a few minutes after they started to run, they left the forest, and reached a wide open grass field. Off in the distance, a good bit ahead of them, they could see something that seemed to be a settlement of a sort, which Yoruichi lead them towards. As they got closer to the village – because a village it was – Ichigo could see that that what he originally believed to be small houses were nothing more than small huts. All of them were built with wood, and none of them seemed to even come close to being big enough to be called a house. In fact, within the entire settlement, there was nothing that even began to resemble a house. What the hell?
He grit his teeth as they walked through the small village. This… was below any expectation he had had. People living in squalor, clothed in rags… this was what they had to look forward to after they died?
"Yoruichi-san," he said in a low tone, "is this… what all of the rukongai is like?"
"Some districts are a little better organized, a little wealthier. A few are rich and well supplied. Most districts are… economically challenged." She said, sounding evasive. "A few districts have warlords ruling them, or even nobles. That usually keeps them safe from bandits, but they don't really have what you in the world of the living would call 'rights'."
"And the ones without rulers?"
"Criminal hellholes to one degree or another." Yoruichi said flatly. "Only the strong survive those."
Ichigo kept quiet, and grit his teeth. This… was the afterlife. "What about the Gotei thirteen?"
"They are only interested in mediating the balance between the world- that is, hunting hollows and sending souls on."
"They have all that power, and-"
"This is not the time, Ichigo." Yoruichi said sharply.
Ichigo shut his mouth, walking on in silence. Eventually, Tatsuki walked up beside him.
"You all right?"
"You know, Tatsuki," he said quietly, "the average Japanese citizen isn't going to be rich. Right?"
"Well, yeah. Most people aren't rich."
"But most people, rich or not, they're going to have a house. A job. A family. Some stability. Not having to worry about getting robbed every day, or about putting food on the table. Working hard, getting to eat every day, living decently. That's not unrealistic for your average Japanese."
"I know." She nodded. "This… this is pretty shitty."
"I just thought of my grandparents, you know? I never knew them, but mom told me they were good people- worked hard, got a good retirement… was this what they got? What anyone gets? A place with medieval welfare standards, and no concept of rights?"
"I know." She said, sighing. "I don't feel happy about it either. But if you let yourself get angry about this, you'll be distracted. Get angry about Rukia's unfair execution sentence, and save the starving later, okay?"
"…yeah, I guess you're right." Ichigo said, and they kept walking, following Yoruichi.
"I for one am not surprised." Uryu, who had been walking just behind Ichigo and Tatsuki, added in after about another minute,. "The Gotei Thirteen – there is only so much one seat of power could conceivably do, especially considering how many souls there are to govern."
"So this is… okay with you?" Tatsuki said, raising an eyebrow.
"I made no such statement." Uryu said calmly. "I'm not passing judgment until I know more- not that I expect much compassion from heartless killers like them, though."
"And I think that no matter what it is, there's nothing we can do about it. We can't stop to help these people, even if we want to. We're here to help Kuchiki-san, so we shouldn't be wasting our time, talking about politics stuff." Orihime stated, before Uryu could even say anything.
Ichigo, Tatsuki and Uryu stopped dead in their tracks, and turned around to stare bewilderedly at Orihime, and even Yoruichi stopped walking. "What? Did I say something funny?" Orihime asked, a confused expression on her face.
After a few more seconds of a typically awkward silence, Uryu was the first one to regain his speech. "Uh, no, it's nothing, Inoue-san, really! So, uh, Yoruichi-san, that friend of yours! How much longer is it going to take us to get there?"
"Hmm. Unless I'm quite mistaken, this district here is a good distance away from Kukaku's place... it is going to take us at least another hour." She answered, and once more, Ichigo couldn't help but to notice that her using the form of a cat did give her a distinct advantage in concealing her surprise – if she was even surprised to begin with.
And some time later, after passing through the village, Yoruichi said,
"We're entering Shiba lands. It's not far now."
The landscape around them was surprisingly lush, lots of green fields, trees, a few large rocks here and there, making for a good-looking scenery as they trekked down the dirt road.
"What's this Kukaku like?" Ichigo asked.
"If she is a friend of Yoruichi-san's, and a noble to boot, he must be quite important." Uryu said. "I always wondered what medieval nobility might be like. I suppose we will find out."
"I bet he's a cyborg shark ninja, with a giant hat." Orihime said, fantasizing out loud.
"…does she always do that?" Uryu said.
"Oh, yeah." Tatsuki nodded. "All of the time. It's fascinating what she can think of once you're used to it."
"I think you'll be surprised." Yoruichi remarked dryly, as the five of them began approaching a grandiose estate, built with architecture that Ichigo- going by his flimsy memories from history class- would belong at least six hundred years back in time. It consisted of a large main building, and at least four smaller buildings around it, all painted red. A wall stretched around it, and he could see pens for animals outside of it, and servants and farmers busy at work in and outside the estate. The Shiba clan seemed to be doing well for itself.
Most notably, at the gates, two humongous pillars stood, stretching a large banner between it, upon which the characters for "SHIBA KUKAKU" were written.
"…he sure must be proud." Ichigo mumbled.
"In his own way." Yoruichi said, sounding mysterious. "This way." She led them down the road, towards the gates. He half expected the guards to try and stop them, or at least ask them their business- but they cast but one glance at the black cat, and quickly seemed to decide that the five of them did not exist, and they all walked into the estate. It was even grander up close- people moving about everywhere, children playing, some better dressed people- clan members, Ichigo guessed- sparring with bamboo swords, led by some ugly man in poofy pants and a bandana.
Yoruichi led them straight to the main house, through the doors and through a set of corridors. They looked in wonder at the house itself- well-made and grand; not everyone was poor here…
And then Yoruichi stopped before a white sliding door, guarded by two huge, muscular men.
"Ginkaku, Kinkaku." Yoruichi said. "I am here to see Kukaku."
The two men gave them the sort of look that only guards seemed to be capable of: Staring, skeptical, calculating, and silently conveying the not very subtle message of "if you even think about trying anything funny, we are going to divorce you from your limbs". After staring at them for at least a minute, the men then both simultaneously nodded, and then silently opened the door that they were guarding.
Lying behind the door was a lengthy, wide open room, and a person sitting at the end of it... which, as Ichigo and the others noted as they entered the room and got closer, looked distinctively not male – as persons with revealing outfits and cleavages tend to do.
"Yo, Yoruichi! Haven't seen you in a while! How's old hat and clogs doing?" The woman asked in a tone that, as Ichigo could not help but to notice, stood quite in contrast to how Rukia's brother had talked.
"Fine as always, Kuka-" Yoruichi began, only for Tatsuki to take her by the skin of her neck, and lift her in front of her face.
"Oy, Yoruichi..." Tatsuki said, looking a little ticked off. "Didn't you say that Shiba Kukaku was a man? What's up with this now?"
"No one ever said that she was a man. The four of you were just going wild with your assumptions, and I didn't exactly feel like correcting you." Yoruichi stated flatly, and it was pretty obvious that if it had been actually possible for her right now, she would've grinned. "So would you mind putting me down now?"
Giving Yoruichi a look, Tatsuki did what the cat asked her to do. "So, like I was about to say: Urahara is just fine, as always. As a matter of fact, he also is the reason why we are today."
"Ginkaku, Kinkaku! Close the door and make sure that no one disturbs us!" Kukaku quickly ordered the two guards, who immediately obeyed. Once the door was shut once more, she turned to Yoruichi again. "So, these are the kids that came here to prevent Kuchiki Rukia's execution, eh? Interesting bunch... what are your names, kids? And once you're at it, tell me a bit about your powers!"
"I'm Arisawa Tatsuki, a shinigami." Tatsuki said briefly, still a little irritated about being tricked by Yoruichi.
"Well, yeah, I can kinda see that." Kukaku said dismissively. "But what about you, missy?" She asked, pointing at Orihime.
"I'm Inoue Orihime, and I'm a human! But I can use this Fillerthing power, and I want to become a kung-fu robot ninja wizard one day!" Orihime stated cheerfully, herself not in the slightest surprised to find out that Shiba Kukaku is in fact a woman.
Kukaku gave her a bewildered stare. "...Uh-huh, I see..." She nodded slowly, before turning to Uryu. "And what about you, four-eyes? What's your deal?"
"My name is Ishida Uryu, and I am a Quincy – and I would very much prefer it if you refrained from making use of such derogatory terms." Uryu said coldly, readjusting his glasses.
"A Quincy, huh? Coooool... first time I ever actually see one of your kind. For what's ahead, your powers sure could be handy... with you Quincies using spirit particles in your surroundings to attack, being at a place that consists of nothing but those things sure is an advantage, eh?" She laughed loudly, before turning towards Ichigo. "Alright then, that leaves only one of you lot that I don't know the name of yet..."
"My name is Kurosaki Ichigo. I was the one that was turned into a substitute shinigami by Kuchiki Rukia, and now I'm here to prevent her execution."
Kukaku looked at him close, as if seeing him for the first time again, a mildly surprised look on her face. "It looks like we got ourselves a hero, don't we, Yoruichi?" She grinned.
"I'm not a hero-" Ichigo begun to object.
"If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it's probably a duck, innit?" Kukaku said dismissively. "Yoruichi…"
"Yes." Yoruichi said. "This is not the time to be… chattering idly, though."
"Right, right," Kukaku said, scratching her forehead with her pipe. Ichigo was a little surprised- she came more off as a thug of some kind than a clan leader; even the way she talked was decidedly masculine. "Still, heading a rescue operation to get the girl, who is facing a grim and unjust fate, now that sounds like something right out of a boy's adventure book!" She said emphatically, still grinning.
"Uh, yeah, I guess so." Ichigo admitted. "You'll help us, then?"
"I'll help you, yeah." Kukaku nodded.
"Is there a catch?" Uryu asked. "I'd be surprised if there wasn't."
"You're cynical for somebody who ain't even grown up." Kukaku remarked.
"Cynical, or realistic?" He retorted. "We may be young, but we're not dumb. Urahara-san is helping us, and somehow what we're about to do is helping him. So what's your deal?"
"Smart one." Kukaku nodded, snapping her fingers. One of her hulking servants quickly came in, with a small wooden tray with a small sake bottle and a cup. Carefully, she poured herself a drink, and downed it in one gulp. "Let's just say Kisuke's an old friend, and so is Yoruichi. We Shiba value our friends."
"…good enough." Uryu said.
"So how will you help?" Ichigo asked.
"Well, I can think of a few options. My favourite idea involves a giant cannon…."
Ichigo could see Uryu's face twist into a horrified grimace, and Tatsuki looked like she just realized they were dealing with a lunatic. Orihime, somehow unsurprisingly, looked cheerful at the notion.
"That's hardly subtle, is it?" Yoruichi said. "We want to get close to Rukia before there is a ruckus."
"True, true," Kukaku said, casually pouring herself another drink. "I guess it is… well, I could just sneak you in disguised as servants, although I gotta say that's a boring as hell plan."
"You could do that? They wouldn't notice?" Orihime said. "Couldn't they sense, what's it called, our reiatsu?"
"Not if you suppress it. 'Sides, my reiatsu is a lot more noticeable than either of yours. Bein' clan head has its perks."
"That's quite the risk." Uryu remarked. "If you were caught smuggling outsiders…"
"Don't you worry your pretty little head." Kukaku said. "I ain't gonna get caught- they expect eccentric from me in the Gotei; bringing a few servants'll be nothing. And if I get caught- it'll be embarrassing, but being noble, I ain't gonna get punished too bad. Another perk."
"Right." Ichigo said. "That sounds easy enough, I guess."
"Just try to look inconspicuous, and you'll do fine."
"I'd like to have a word with you, Kukaku." Yoruichi said, cutting them off.
"Right. You kids go do whatever- we leave tomorrow at noon." Kukaku waved at the dismissively. "Shoo now- go on. My idiot brother will show you where you'll sleep, and where the kitchens are if you need a bite to eat."
Dismissed as they were, the four of them headed out of the room, feeling a little lost.
oOo
Once they were sure they had all left, Yoruichi transformed, sitting cross-legged opposite of Kukaku. "Sheesh…" she said, stretching. "I'm just not used to this… non-cat form."
"No kidding." Kukaku said, puffing her pipe. "You spent what, a hundred years mostly as a cat?"
"…not a hundred years." Yoruichi said defensively.
"Whatever." Kukaku said. "Have a drink, now that you're back, and tell me what's going on."
"Well," Yoruichi said, pouring herself a small drink, "it's time, Kukaku. At long last."
"You mean…"
"Kisuke set the final set of plans in motion. In a couple of months, everything will happen. When we're done, everything will be different- and Kisuke will stand at the top."
"He always was ambitious…" Kukaku mumbled. "Now, after over a hundred years? I almost thought he had forgotten about his old friends."
"Kisuke never forgets." Yoruichi said matter-of-factly. "Not his friends, and certainly not his enemies. When we're done… we'll achieve all of the things we need."
"You sure sound vague."
"Old habits die hard." Yoruichi said. "I used to be in intelligence- and given where we are, in the house of a clan head, you really never know who may be listening. You know what I am talking about, and that's all I need."
Kukaku nodded slowly. "Yeah… yeah, I do. These kids, though… none of them are even at the level of a fukutaicho. What could they do?"
"Enough." Was all Yoruichi said. They sat quietly for a while, drinking as old friends just reunited.
"That kid…" Kukaku mumbled, finally.
"He is the son of Shiba Isshin." Yoruichi confirmed. "He's your second cousin."
"Damn. Yeah, I could have sworn when I saw him… he looked just like…"
"I know." Yoruichi put an arm on Kukaku's shoulder. "Now's not the time, though, especially since he doesn't know anything about this himself."
"I understand." She looked Yoruichi in the eye, staring intensely. "He'll find out though. If he goes into the courts, he will find out."
"We'll take that when we get there."
oOo
Just like everything else that they had seen of the estate so far, the kitchen of the Shiba household turned out to be bigger than any other kitchen that they had ever seen. As they entered it, the entire room was empty, but it was rather easy to imagine about a dozen servants rushing around the place, trying to prepare a meal. Ichigo, Tatsuki, Uryu and Orihime were simply led to the kitchen after being shown the bedrooms that they were given, and were then left alone.
Since none of them had eaten a thing since arriving at Soul Society (which was already hours ago), they simply took whatever they felt like trying out out of the enormous pantry, which contained more foodstuff than any of them had ever seen in one place in their entire life. Once everyone had taken what they wanted, they sat down at a small table in the corner of the kitchen, and ate, which ended up being a rather silent affair.
"Oy, Ishida..." Ichigo suddenly spoke up, once he finished eating. "Would you mind going another round with me? Sparring, I mean. I just can't stand sitting around like this, doing nothing."
"I don't see why not." Uryu replied, slightly taken aback. "I remember having seen people doing some training in some other rooms – it shouldn't be too hard to find a room that we can use."
Ichigo got up. "Sounds good. Well then... Tatsuki, Orihime, I guess I'll see you two later."
Uryu got up as well, and together, the two left the kitchen, leaving Orihime and Tatsuki alone. Tatsuki had already long since finished, but still stayed with Orihime, who was still eating. That Orihime was still eating while Tatsuki was already done was hardly something new, though – in comparison to her friend, Orihime always had the bigger appetite. At times, Tatsuki would even make a few jokes about how Orihime could eat as much as she wanted without going fat, with everything just going into her boobs.
Just sitting here, eating with Tatsuki... it really got her thinking a bit. "Say, Tatsuki-chan..." Orihime said between two bites "what do you think about this place?"
Tatsuki, seemingly having been somewhere entirely else with her thoughts and without a doubt surprised by how unexpected the question came, blinked a few times and stared at Orihime before responding. "Uh... you mean this estate here? Well, it is pretty fancy, and-"
Orihime slightly shook her head. "No, that's not what I meant... I mean, more like this all. This world, this afterlife."
Tatsuki scratched her head. "Urgh, the things you're asking me... I'm not really sure, actually. I mean, yeah, we have seen this village earlier, and Yoruichi told us some things, but... but there's also these people here, so – I just don't know."
"I know what you mean, Tatsuki-chan." Orihime said with an unusual solemnity. "This place is so beautiful, and the people here at this house all seem to be doing fine, but then there's this village, and the things that Yoruichi said... and somewhere out there is my brother..."
Yes, that was true. Tatsuki hadn't thought about it, but this was the afterlife- and her brother had been purified; he should logically be out there. "Orihime…"
"Oh, I know I shouldn't bother to look for him," Orihime said, putting on a cheerful tone- one that Tatsuki knew was quite false. "I mean, where would I even start? There's billions of souls out there, and I don't have the time, and-"
She choked up.
Putting an arm around her, rubbing her shoulder, Tatsuki said,
"He's probably doing great. He's a big man- I know he could take care of himself. He's probably got a house of his own by now."
"You think so?" Orihime said, sounding like she might cry. "Because- I, I don't want him to live like, like these poor people-"
"He's strong. He looked after you all by himself for all those years- I think he can look after himself. And he's probably got reiatsu, too, if he used to be a hollow." She honestly wasn't sure that was how it worked, but that was beside the point. Orihime needed comfort now, not pros and cons.
"I hope so." Orihime said, her voice stabilizing. "Sorry, Tatsuki-chan… I don't know what came over me. I thought I had moved on…"
"Don't sweat it." Tatsuki said affectionately. "I'm here- what are friends for? It's perfectly natural to worry for him, that doesn't make you weak."
"Thank you, Tatsuki-chan." She smiled slightly. "I wonder… I wonder if I could find him once we've rescued Rukia-chan."
"I'd help you look." Tatsuki nodded enthusiastically, inwardly shuddering at the thought of searching the whole of the soul society. "For now, eat up. We got a big day tomorrow."
oOo
"Alright, I'd say that's enough for now." Ichigo declared, having just finished another sparring round with Uryu. In order to save themselves the trouble of having to search for a room to use, Ichigo and Uryu had ultimately decided to just train out on the estate's grounds, in the area where they had seen people practice with bamboo swords.
The sparring matches themselves went about as Ichigo expected them to go: Uryu won the vast majority of them, with Ichigo managing to score the occasional draw, and even a few victories. Said victories could however mostly be attributed to one thing: The fact that Uryu had yet to adjust to fighting in Soul Society. Since Uryu, as a Quincy, used spirit particles to attack, being in a world that entirely consisted of them meant that he had a lot more energy to work with – which in turn made it hard for him to get the strength of his attacks right, causing some unfortunate mishaps during their sparring matches.
After a couple of sparring matches, however, Uryu had more or less adjusted himself, and started a winning streak against Ichigo that did not end.
"Very well then." Uryu said, letting his energy bow vanish. "You really have improved since our first match, though, Kurosaki."
"Eh? What's gotten into you, Ishida? I thought you weren't trying to become all friendly with me?" Ichigo snorted.
"Same to you. You've known me for little over a month now – so why ask me for a sparring match, instead of your childhood friend, Arisawa san?" Uryu adjusted his glasses. "I do mean what I said, though. In comparison to how strong you were in our first match, you really have come quite a long way."
"Let's just hope that that's enough to not get slaughtered by the first shinigami that we come across..." Ichigo grunted. "Anyway, I think it's about time we get back to the others... I'm really getting quite hungry here."
"I'll have to pass on that." Uryu rejected. "I've had my fill earlier. I think I will just go to sleep."
Ichigo shrugged, sheathing Zangetsu. "Fine then. Have fun with that."
Without another word, Uryu turned around and walked back towards the house, leaving Ichigo standing alone on the grounds lit by the last light of the setting sun.
With him gone, Ichigo simply took a seat on a nearby rock, leaning his back against it. He was sweating, and his muscles ached. Training in the soul society was different- it was a little like moving in tar, wasn't it? It had to be the spiritual pressure- everything here was made up of spiritual matter. Back in the world of the living, his reiatsu could push everything around; here it had to adjust to the spiritual matter around it.
Surprised at himself at his analysis- he'd have to double check it with Uryu; he'd know better- he smiled.
"They do have benches, you know." It was Tatsuki, out walking in the twilight.
"Real men sit uncomfortably." He said, grinning and wiping some sweat from his brow.
"You're not a great comedian, you know." Tatsuki sighed. She concentrated some reiatsu at her feet, and in one big leap, she jumped up to the top of the rock- nearly ten feet, he'd have to guess.
"You came a long way, you really did." Ichigo remarked. "I never said it before, but I'm kind of impressed."
"Yeah, yeah," Tatsuki grumbled. "Enjoy your uncomfortable seat, why don't you?"
"Hey…" he said, looking up at her. She looked good, he noticed- the shihakusho fit her well, and the sinking sun illuminated her features- muscles, nice proportions… "about back then. You know, when we first fought."
"You mean when we were five and I kicked your ass?"
"Don't be a smartass. I mean a couple weeks back. You were angry with me then, weren't you?"
"So what if I were? That was then and this is now."
"I think you should tell me why." He said somberly. "I think I could guess, but I want to hear it from you."
"God Ichigo, you're such a fucking girl…" She shook her head, looking like she was in between laughing and grumbling. "Yeah, I was mad. I wanted to turn your face to paste. I didn't, 'cause we're friends- but I wanted to."
"Because I left you out."
"Because you always act like some big macho idiot about things like these!" She snapped. "It's not like we weren't involved- but you took Orihime's memories, and you would have taken mine too if you could!"
"Yeah…" he said, not sure how to reply. She was right.
"You're not alone, dumbass." She said, almost angrily. "That's the point of having friends."
"And friendship is magic, right?"
"Don't dick around!" She snapped, kicking him in the head. "You locked me out- me, your oldest friend! And that alone doesn't piss me off so much as the fact that you kept risking your life alone, barely knowing what you were doing! If it weren't for Urahara-san, you really would be dead now, and then how would your mother feel?"
"…" He remained silent for a while. "I… I'm sorry."
"Damn right." She shook her head. "I'm not even mad anymore- but you've got to promise me to stop being stupid. Stop buying into this 'I'm a big strong man who don't need help' mentality. Fight with us, not for us. Can you do that?"
"…yeah. Yeah, I can."
"Good. That's all I needed to hear." She stood up. "We're supposed to be a team. Even Ishida-san is trying, even though he doesn't know much about working with people. Orihime can't fight properly, and has no real experience, but she stands with us. So you do the same for us. You must do that, you hear? I want us to live."
"I will!" He snapped. "I get the message- I'll think about… all of these things, okay?"
"Good." She charged reiatsu to her feet, jumping down again. "That's all I needed to know. Good night- I'm going to bed."
And promptly, she walked away. Shaking his head, Ichigo muttered something incoherent. Freaking lectures…
After a few minutes of thinking, he got up, and headed back to the house, hopefully to find a shower.
A good distance away from the Shiba clan's estate, in the very center of Soul Society, the seireitei, head Captain Yamamoto Shigekuni Genryusai stared out into the distance from his office's window. As the leader of the Soul Society's only military force, every day brought him a great deal of paperwork, and he was far from being done with today's load. Keeping his old age in mind, breaks such as this one were often enough a necessity. For over one thousand years now, Yamamoto had been the head captain of the Gotei Thirteen, and while all shinigami had a much higher life expectancy than a living human being, or even a soul for that matter, it was still an incredible age. While being a shinigami did have the benefit of not having to worry about diseases of physical or mental nature, aging still came with the noticeable loss of one's health, of which the necessity for breaks during work was just one aspect.
It was during this particular break that Sasakibe Choujiro, Yamamoto's fukutaicho- the vice-captain of squad one- entered the office, holding in his hands what seemed to be a report of some sort. "I hope that I am not disturbing you, soutaichou?"
"Hardly. I was just taking a break." The old man said, averting his gaze from the window, and turning towards his subordinate. "So what is the matter, Sasakibe? Can this report not wait until tomorrow?"
Sasakibe shook his head lightly. "I'm afraid that it can't wait, soutaichou. This report just came in from squad twelve. They have detected an anomaly within the western parts of the Rukongai, something akin to a Senkaimon being opened."
Yamamoto raised his eyebrow, giving his fukutaicho a questioning look. "So? This is hardly noteworthy. Hollows, no matter their strength, cannot open a Senkaimon – as such, this is at worst only the result of a shinigami returning from the world of the living at an unusual place. Dismiss it, and tell Mayuri to not waste my time with these trivial matters."
"Understood, soutaichou." Sasakibe said, nodding stoically. He then turned around and left the room, leaving Yamamoto to overlook the darkening seireitei once more.
Author's Notes:
And thus begins the Soul Society arc, which in turn means that we are getting to the point where our plotline here will completely branch off from canon!
Warning: The following omake makes fun of both the canon Bleach, as well as Naruto, while praising One Piece. If that's not your sort of thing... well, tough luck.
"Hurry!" Yoruichi urged. "We'll be there soon- but don't stop running; we only have two minutes left!"
And before long, they could see a spot of bright, far up the tunnel, slowly growing larger as they ran. Doubling their efforts, the four of them ran, hurrying towards the exit, and soon... they all crashed into something at the same time, which is hardly among the things that are to be expected when you run into a portal-thing.
Wondering just what the hell just happened, Ichigo got up. And so did Ichigo. And Uryu, as well Uryu. Not to mention, Orihime and Orihime. And of course, Tatsuki and Chad.
For whatever reason, Ichigo suddenly stared into his own fifteen-year old face – which was quite easy to tell, since on the day of his sixteenth birthday, Keigo had stabbed Ichigo's left eye out with a rusty dagger, leaving him to wear an eye patch ever since, which so far was just way too unimportant to ever be mentioned in the plot. Details.
"Damn!" Tatsuki exclaimed, being the first one to regain her speech. "I must've hit my head harder than I thought... I'm seeing four Ichigos!"
"Hoooly shit! There's another us over there! Well, except for Chad, but that's not important!" The younger Ichigo said, with a hyperactivity befitting of a squirrel. "How can this be?!"
One totally unimportant introduction sequence later, everybody knew everything about what was going on with the other group, and what they were doing. Truly, something completely unimportant that does not deserve to be told in any way, shape or form.
"Sooo, let me get this straight." The older Ichigo said. "You are from this alternate universe to ours called 'canon', and you're also on your way to Soul Society, to rescue Rukia... and in your universe, my father is still alive, and my mother is dead?"
The younger Ichigo nodded violently. Very violently. Violently enough, in fact, to repeatedly head-butt the younger Uryu, who just so happened to be standing in front of him. "That's how it is! And you're from this alternate universe called 'Agtor', where my mother is still alive, and my father is dead?"
"Uh, yeah. That's what I just finished explaining to you off-screen." The older Ichigo noted quite dryly. "But anyway, now you've got me curious! How exactly did you end up in this situation? Did your sister die as well, making you realize that being a shinigami is not something that a living person should do, which in turn caused you to get into an argument with Rukia, which then in turn caused you to let her go willingly when her brother came to retrieve her?"
"Huh? Hell no! Nobody died! It was a normal day, like all the others! I was hunting hollows and stuff, when a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in my neighborhood, attacking Rukia! So I got into one little fight, and Rukia got scared, and left with them willingly!" The younger Ichigo explained, starting to sing halfway through his exposition for no apparent reason.
The older Ichigo meanwhile, simply stared at his younger counterpart in disbelief with his one eye. "...You attacked those two."
"Of course! How else should I have solved this? Talk to them? Everybody knows that that never works, unless you fight them before!"
"...so you charged in recklessly, and attacked two opponents who were obviously infinitely stronger than you, and you had just about no chance of actually defeating them." The older Ichigo stated more than he asked, his expression already reaching a point of absolute despair.
"Well, yeah. This is how I always do things!" The younger Ichigo quite cheerfully confirmed, as if it were the most natural thing in the world – which for him, as a matter of fact, it was.
"DIDN'T ISHIDA AT LEAST TRY TO WARN YOU, YOU GOD DAMNED IDIOT?!" The older Ichigo roared, bringing his younger counterpart close to tears – if only for a few seconds.
"Nope! Ishida was already defeated by the time I got there. No surprise there, though. I mean, he is waaaay weaker than me!" The younger Ichigo proclaimed proudly.
"Actually..." The older Uryu interjected. "Out of our group, I'm the strongest."
"And I'm the second strongest." Tatsuki added in.
"And I'm absolutely okay with it." The older Ichigo finished.
Within the next couple of seconds, one could easily observe the beautiful process of a person's world view being completely shattered in the face the younger Ichigo, as he collapsed onto the floor, and got into a fetal position, whimpering something along the lines of "I'm the number one... I'm the number one...".
Looking down on his best friend 5ever in sympathy, Chad opened his mouth to say something... only to be interrupted by the younger Ichigo instantly recovering from his severe trauma, completely and conveniently saving him from the need to consult a therapist. "You're right, Chad! I can't let this get to me! After all, I am the protagonist, and the most important person in the story!"
"Oh hey, Chad." The older Ichigo said, just now noticing him. "You're gonna tragically die in a car accident in a couple of years."
Chad frowned, and once again attempted to say something – only to be once more interrupted, this time by the older Uryu. "Well, it's only your fault, really. I mean, you had every opportunity to be an interesting character, and you just about wasted it."
This time, Chad didn't even bother to try and say something, as the younger Uryu spoke up. "Interesting characters, huh? I suppose that does account for Arisawa-san being with you... but am I the only one who's noticing that me and Inoue-san are the only ones that are mostly the most similar to our counterparts?"
Everyone turned to the two Orihimes, who had a fierce discussion about the weaponry that their future robotic self should have. "There actually is a difference between us, my younger counterpart." The older Uryu noted. "It is called screentime."
Instantly, the younger Ichigo, the younger Uryu and Chad moved into the nearest corner, wrapping their arms around their knees to sulk like they had never done before in their entire lives – which was quite the accomplishment, since the Dangai had very little to offer in terms of corners.
"Y'know Ichigo, your counterpart there really is kind of an irrational prick." Tatsuki said.
"I noticed." The older Ichigo frowned. "Say, would it count as suicide if I were to brutally murder him?"
Before Tatsuki, or anybody else for that matter (except for Chad) could however even ponder about the older Ichigo's deeply philosophical question, a bright light shone down from the Dangai's ceiling (or whatever you could call it), and a young man in a bright orange costume and blonde hair descended while shouting. Loudly. "THIS IS NOW A CROSSOVER WITH BESTEST, GREATEST, AND MOST WELL-WRITTEN ANIME SERIES EVAR, NARUTO! BELIEVE IT, MOTHERFUCKERS!"
Everyone stared at the 'ninja', disbelief written all over their faces... literally, since the two Yoruichis had somehow found permanent markers, and didn't like being ignored.
Naruto meanwhile had made his way to the younger Ichigo, and offered him his hand. "HELLO CANON ICHIGO! YOU ARE NOW MY BESTEST FRIEND FOREVER AND EVER, AND TOGETHER WE WILL DEFEAT EVERY VILLAIN THAT WE COME ACROSS BECAUSE WE ARE SO POWERFUL AND SMART AND SKILLFUL AND SEXY AND WE WILL BE EATING RAMEN!"
The younger Ichigo covered his ears. "What the eff, man... could you try not to shout for once? ...Though this does sound like a wonderful offer."
The blonde 'ninja' gave his new bestest friend forever and ever a confused look. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THIS IS MY NORMAL SPEAKING VOICE!"
"And this is about as good as either of you will get as characters. He's ninja Jesus, you're shinigami Jesus. Have fun being one dimensional." The older Ichigo noted dryly, hoping that this entire mess would be finally over now.
Which it quite obviously wasn't.
"Gomu gomu no... crotch punch!" Another voice came from some place sort of far away, and almost instantly, two fists flew towards two particularly hurtful places for both the younger Ichigo and Naruto, who collapsed due to the pain.
"Argh! That's weird, I was punched and it actually hurt!" The younger Ichigo moaned, as Naruto groaned, "MY BALLS! MY ONE WEAKNESS! HOW DID YOU KNOW?!".
"Hey there, you three!" The source of the rather surprising, but quite appreciated attacks said, a young man dressed in a red vest, blue shorts and a straw hat that walked up to the younger Uryu, the younger Orihime and Chad. "The name's Monkey D Luffy! I hear you need a main character that doesn't become stupidly overpowered in comparison to his supposed friends, doesn't godmod to the point of being the strongest character in the entire story, and actually cares about his friends and shares his screentime with them?"
To say that the eyes of the three addressed ones were filled with glee would have been an understatement.
"Screentime?" Chad asked.
"We would actually win battles?" The younger Uryu added.
"Actually caring about us?" The younger Orihime questioned.
For a moment, the three looked at each other, as if to silently discuss the matter. Then-
"We're in!"
"Yosh!" Luffy said, with a big grin, kicking the younger Ichigo and Naruto off-screen. "Let's go, new nakama! Off to become the king of the samurai!"
"Shinigami." The younger Uryu corrected, as the canon group headed off with their new and improved protagonist.
"We'll just pretend this never happened, alright?" The older Ichigo asked, after they had stared after the other group for a while. The response was four simultaneous nods.
Meanwhile, in another world, the younger Ichigo and Naruto came to their senses.
"Where are we?" The younger Ichigo asked, looking around, just as a man with a bright orange costume, and spiky blonde hair flew by them, shouting something along the lines of "...hameha!".
"IN THE PLACE OF OUR DREAMS, MY FRIEND... IN THE PLACE OF OUR DREAMS! BELIEVE IT, DATTEBAYO!"