AN: Probably another couple of chapters and then we'll say goodbye to this one as well. Hope everyone is still enjoying it - it's nice to just write some fluff after the angst-fest that's happening on screen currently.
And as far as renewal goes...remember, it's not over until it's over. Chins up, folks.
Depths and Determinations
Chapter Five
She decided she never wanted to get used to waking up with Jane curled around her. Well, perhaps that wasn't the right word. She wanted to get used to it, wanted it to be a daily thing. What she didn't want was to ever take it for granted.
He looked so relaxed as he slept, but she was willing to bet his dreams weren't always so peaceful.
She ran her fingers lightly through his hair, just because she could, just because he was hers now, and he reacted to her touch, turning even more in her direction.
She smiled.
The light outside her window told her that it was evening now, and that they had missed the majority of the afternoon. That was fine with her; they'd spent it in what she had discovered was her new favorite way: making love and then sleeping together.
Jane had literally torn her clothes off. Not that there had been a lot of fabric to start with, but...she flushed, remembering. Out of control with want Jane was something to behold.
And she wanted to see that side of him again.
Though perhaps not right now, she amended, body reminding her that she was sore. It wasn't like she was unused to sex - but sex with Jane was intense and all-consuming. Powerful.
She took one of his hands, gently toying with his fingers, feeling the indentation where his wedding ring had rested for so many years.
He'd given it to her.
There was no mistaking what that meant, what that gesture symbolized.
However, it didn't mean that she had any idea of what to do with the thing. It was in her small jewelry box, next to a pair of her mother's earrings, the only ones she'd had that were real. She decided she wasn't going to say anything about it unless Jane brought it up.
She just wanted to be done with it, with that long chapter of his life that had brough him so much misery.
And, some day, she hoped he would be able to talk about his family. They had shaped his enitre world, and she knew precious little about them.
Jane's eyes opened, sleepy and light. God, he was beautiful. And he belonged to her.
"Hello," he murmured softly. "I love you."
Her cheeks hurt from smiling so much, but it was a wonderful sort of pain. "I love you, too."
His stomach rumbled, and they both laughed, their little moment falling lightly away.
"Is this the part where I tell you to go make me a sandwich?" he asked, eyebrows raised, tone amused.
"Try it," she challenged. "See what happens."
They ordered pizza, watched a mindless sitcom. It was boring and perfect.
It was amazing how tired she was. Emotional exhaustion would do that to a person, though. Perhaps she'd been tired for years and just hadn't ever had the chance to get over it.
Jane stretched out on the couch, his head in her lap, and she knew she wasn't the only one who was living some of their fantasies out.
She used to wonder if Jane was ever lonely, if he ever craved physical closeness. With her, with anyone. At this point, she thought she knew. Even if they hadn't been together for long, he seemed to always be touching her. Which she liked. A lot.
That night, he slept with his head on her chest, and she tried to not fall asleep simply so she could go on enjoying the feeling of his curls tickling her chin and his breath warming her neck.
She had gone so many years deliberately avoiding both Jane's touch and touching him, never sure if it would be welcome or if he would tense up and pull away. And it had just become easier to keep away from his hands; they had a tendency to destroy her emotionally.
And now...now she had touched about every inch of him, felt him shiver under her palms. They had gone from no contact to constant closeness, and it made her head spin a little to think about the change.
God, it was perfect though.
Sunday was a quiet day for them, too. She considered going to church but didn't want to leave the peaceful cocoon of her house, of Jane's arms. Wanted to savor every moment of this.
No one mentioned Jane going back to the Airstream, and he changed into the clothes that he dug out of her dryer. He smirked a little while doing so, and she wondered what was going on in his mind.
It rained, clouds darkening the vast Texas sky. She couldn't remember the last time she had been this at ease, sprawled across him, the soft cotton of his new shirt under her cheek, listening to him breathe, feeling his hands on her back.
Somehow, in years prior to this, she had never quite believed that this would actually happen. Yes, she had fantasized about it for endless hours, days, whatever, but there was always something heavy in her heart. Patrick Jane was as closed off as solid, cold rock; no cracks in his armor.
She couldn't remember the last time one of her deepest, most powerful fantasies had come true. Possibly never. Well, perhaps that wasn't quite right. She'd gotten another wish fulfilled months ago, when Jane walked into the small conference room at the FBI Headquarters in Austin and pulled her into his arms.
She'd had days when she thought she'd never see him again, never hear his voice, musical and slightly amused, never be gifted with his smile.
Her arms tightened around him, and he kissed the top of her head.
"Want to take tomorrow off?" he murmured.
"That wouldn't be suspicious," she snorted. "I'd like to not give the office gossip pool any more fuel for a while."
He shrugged. "Whatever you say."
That night, the house finally dark, Jane showed her what, exactly, he was capable of. He took his time, slow to the point of being maddening, undressing her carefully, making love to every inch of skin he exposed with his lips and hands.
She felt worshipped.
This was the first occasion that hadn't had a bit of an edge to it. That first night, in the Airstream, had been tempered with fright, desperation. It had been hot, forceful, underlined with the knowledge that this could be their only opportunity to have this.
Their one time here had been different, too. She'd surprised him with her...outfit, and he'd surprised her with his lack of control.
But tonight...slow, deliberate, smoldering. He was on a mission to make her feel as much pleasure as he was capable of giving, and she figured out quickly that she had no idea what that limit was.
Later, muscles still shaking, she collapsed against him, sweating as though she'd just run for miles. Jane wasn't in much better shape, his chest rising and falling rapidly, fingers trembling where they were pressed against her.
"Jesus, Jane," she whispered.
In the darkness, she knew he was smiling. "Yup." She figured he was pleased to know he still had it, whatever it was.
"I need a shower," she remarked.
He kissed her hair. "Want some company?"
She grinned. "Absolutely."
It was harder than she'd thought, leaving him in bed the next morning as she started getting ready for work. Yes, she could see him through the partially open door, curls standing out, bright gold, in the early light. And yes, she was going to spend the day with him, and (if she had her way) come home with him that night. It was silly - but all she wanted was to snuggled back in bed with him.
By the time she got ready, Jane was in the kitchen, making breakfast. He kissed her soundly, then handed her a plate.
"Eat up," he said. "No food from the vending machine for you today. I'm taking you out for lunch, too."
There was no room for argument in his tone, and she ate her omlette without complaint. When he was in the bedroom, she decided to use one of his tricks, and she quickly attached her spare key to his keyring.
"I'm leaving," she called. "See you soon. Lock up when you go."
Abbott's office was her first stop when she arrived at work. He looked up as she knocked, putting her pen on his desk.
"Agent Lisbon," he said. "Have a good weekend?"
Perhaps she was paranoid, but she thought there was something...suggestive in his tone.
"It was...much needed," she finally settled for saying, hoping she wasn't blushing. "Sir, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be staying in Austin."
Abbott's gaze was level. "I hoped you'd come to that conclusion. We're glad to have you."
She nodded, then settled in at her desk.
Jane walked in ten minutes later, hair somewhat tamed, smiling jauntily.
The peace was shortlived, as they were called for a briefing on a new case before she'd even had time to finish her coffee.
Fortunately, the crime scene was set in Austin. She loved her new job, really and truly loved it, but sometimes the travelling got old.
Abbott sent her ahead with Jane, and again, she wondered. Maybe he figured it was in the best interest of his FBI Team if they managed to be happy with each other. In Texas.
It didn't really matter, she supposed, and she was grateful for the extra time with Jane.
He put his hand on her thigh as she drove, looking absently out the window at the city's skyline. "Do you ever miss California?" he asked suddenly.
She glanced over at him for a second. "Maybe," she said slowly, thinking. "I thought I did a lot when I first moved to Washington. But I think I just missed you," she admitted. She had considered the problem a great deal, and had come to that conclusion before Jane had even returned to the country.
He smiled, and there was a sad edge to it. "I missed you, too," he told her. "Maybe I'll take you to my island some day."
"Your island?" she echoed.
He chuckled. "You'd like it," he said. "We'd definitely stay in a hotel though. I don't think you'd be a fan of my little apartment. Emphasis on little."
There was something sad going on behind his eyes, and she dropped her hand from the wheel to wrap around his.
"I don't mean to be morose," he apologized. "But I was lonely there. Very lonely. I don't think I realized how bad it would be, being away from you."
"I know what you mean," she said softly, and Jane squeezed her fingers.
"Yes," he replied. "I know you do."
They were silent the rest of the way. Jane pressed a kiss to her fingertips once, and she wondered what he was thinking.
For herself, she was busy being grateful that life had brought them together again. Had given them a second chance. And then given them a third chance.
Eventually, she saw the flashing lights and the familiar yellow tape that told them they'd arrived at their destination.
Jane took a deep breath, offered her a smile, then opened his door.
While she got the details from the local officers on the scene, Jane did his thing, and she watched him discreetly from the corner of her eye. He was fascinating to observe, to see where his mind took him. Also, it was always a good plan to make sure he was at least a little supervised.
By the time the rest of the team showed up, Jane informed them he already knew who did it and had hatched a plan to prove it.
"Impressive," Abbott said, eyebrows raised.
"Meh," he told him, waving his hand. "Sometimes things are just open and shut." He was standing a half-step closer to her than he usually did, and Lisbon hoped she was the only one who noticed.
She wasn't.
"Finally, huh?" Fischer whispered in her ear as they walked into headquarters just after noon.
She didn't bother to deny it, just smiled.
"Good," the other agent said. "I'm glad I don't have to see the two of you giving each other sad looks when you think the other one isn't watching anymore."
"Me, too," she admitted softly.
"Is he worth the wait?" Fischer asked, but gently.
Her smile widened. "Absolutely."