For My Kingdom

by Reece Champion

Two years after summer froze, Anna and Kristoff are marrying. Every VIP in Arendelle and other allied kingdoms are attending. Elsa, still single, receives a lot of pressure to marry as well to provide Arendelle with a king, so the kingdom will remain strong. However, as Elsa's stress peaks, a dark and dubious plot is unfolding that the softhearted queen may not survive...

13. An Entry From the Diary of Princess Elsa

For My Kingdom

A Frozen Fan Fiction

An Entry from the Diary of Princess Elsa of Arendelle

Author's Note: Didn't want to do a thirteenth chapter (superstitious… Freaked out Monday morning when a black cat ran in front of my bike on my way to the bus…) so I thought I'd do something different in the place of a thirteenth chapter. Hope you like it!

Thursday, June 7, 1674

Dear Diary,

Anna knocked on my door again today. Sometimes I really wish she'd stop, but then again, I'm glad she misses me… And maybe I'm a narcissist for thinking this, but the fact that she's worried, I guess, makes me feel more like I matter? I don't know. It's been 8 years… I'm surprised she hasn't just forgotten about me.

Last night I cried myself to sleep… again. Needless to say, I woke up on a block of ice instead of a pillow. I hate that. God, I hate myself… Why does this keep happening to me? Why can't it just stop? I've tried everything I could think of… Warm thoughts… Warm milk… One time I didn't even get out of bed for two days. I kept having Kara bring in warm blankets, but they chilled faster than she could bring them.

I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. My mother says it'll pass. Father says I'll learn to control it. How though? I don't even know where to begin learning to fight this curse. I vaguely remember what that troll said when he saved Anna… "Fear will be your enemy," whatever that means. Is fear not everybody's enemy?

I don't know. I just don't know. Sometimes, at night, I'll sit on the balcony under the stars… They're so pretty. I could lose myself in them. When I was a kid, Kara would tell me stories about people up in the stars who died a long, long time ago. When I die, will I be a star? That would be nice. I could finally be beautiful, instead of destructive. I've frozen my bedroom four times in the past week… Then again, maybe they don't let monsters be stars.

It's late, and my candle is dying. There's not much left of the wax, it's melting basically into oblivion… It must be good to be a candle. You get to burn bright and warm, and provide light all the way up until you can't anymore and you just die.

I wish I could be a candle.

Anyway, I should go to bed. Good night.

Elsa