For My Kingdom

A Frozen Fan Fiction

Chapter Fifteen:

A Much Needed Wake-Up Call

Before Elsa had gone to bed that night, she received a note from Prince Alexander through Jenny, who had kindly delivered the queen's message to him herself. If she hadn't already been physically and emotionally spent, she might have been touched by the young man's response:

Your Majesty, Queen Elsa,

I very much appreciate your invitation. I would be delighted to go riding with you tomorrow morning, eight o'clock. As for the apology, it is graciously accepted on the grounds that you forgive me as well for my oafish behavior the other day. It was indeed inappropriate given the circumstances. My use of the idiom "chill out" was quite poorly chosen. However, in my weak defense, it is a phrase that my older brother and I use a lot with each other, and I did not mean it to refer to, in any way, your unusual yet amazing gift. It was poor manners nonetheless and I apologize once again.

I am anxiously awaiting seeing you tomorrow morning. I will be sure to keep civil this time around. They say you can never have a second chance at a first impression, but I do hold a hope I will be able to somewhat redeem myself.

Sincerely,

Prince Alex

However, she didn't quite have the brain power available to her at the time to do much more than read the note, understand that she had plans the next morning at eight and crawl into her cushy and enveloping bed. Jenny would be responsible for ensuring that she would be up with enough time to get ready and meet Prince Alexander. She decided that she was going to try to limit her contact with the staff to Jenny and a few choice guards unless unavoidable. Not being able to trust very many people scared her.

ooo

Elsa was once again standing high above the kingdom of Arendelle in a castle reminiscent of the one she had built when she first froze summer. A blizzard raged and the kingdom below was nearly invisible in the white-out. Her hands gripped tightly to the wall of the veranda. A bitter chill seemed to entrap her chest, though the rest of her felt just fine. She turned her back to the shivering world and walked back through the double doors into the castle. The wind slammed the doors behind her almost cracking the ice, but in the midst of the howling wind and the sprinkling of falling snow from the ceiling, she noticed at the center of the room a life-sized ice sculpture of a person. As she approached the sculpture, little details began to emerge. The sculpture was that of a woman. Her gown was not extravagant, but certainly that of royalty.

As she circled the sculpture to view the face of the woman, recognition began to flood her veins with an icy burn. "Anna, no!" she gasped, placing a hand on either side of her sister's face. Tears began to streak down her face, but they froze into trails of ice before they fell.

"Elsa!"

She spun around to see the source of the voice and saw her parents standing together in the doorway. The king had his arms around the queen, who cried quietly at his side. "Elsa, you promised me you would control it."

Dawn had just begun to touch the horizon when Elsa jerked awake the next morning. She had had another nightmare.

Wiping away tears, the queen sat up and tossed the covers on the floor. She sat sideways on the bed with her legs hanging over the edge and rubbed her eyes. She couldn't allow nightmares to upset her. They weren't real, just the product of a guilt-filled subconscious.

By the time Jenny walked in with a hot plate of breakfast and glass of iced tea, Elsa was fully dressed in an elegant, flowery, purple and green gown, with the exception of the still loosened bodice. Her elegantly crafted hairbrush was run through her slightly waved, silvery-white hair with ease by a petite, gloved hand. Hearing the door creak open behind her and seeing Jenny step inside through the mirror, the queen smiled and set the hairbrush down on the lacquered wood dresser. "Could you do me a favor and tighten my bodice, Jenny?"

Smiling, but not neglecting the unnerving return of the gloves that she hadn't seen in two years, the young woman set the breakfast tray down on a table next to the entryway and jogged lightly over to the queen and began to do up the bodice. "You're up early, your majesty," she remarked as she tied off the gown.

"Well, the sky was awake," Elsa joked with a fond, if bittersweet, memory of her and Anna's childhood. "The sky's awake, so I'm awake, so we have to play!"

Jenny chuckled. "Well, your majesty, I brought you a choice breakfast from the kitchen today!" Jenny said happily as she went back to grab the tray and brought it over to the dresser. "Fried eggs, sunny-side up as per usual, roasted potatoes, warm oatmeal, and a glass of amazing strawberry-peach iced tea." The queen didn't normally take her tea iced, but given the circumstances, Jenny thought hot tea might not have been suitable. Though she didn't know this, Elsa agreed and was grateful.

Elsa inhaled the scent of the food deeply and sighed delightedly. "Well, my dear, this both looks and smells amazing." Removing a glove, Elsa delicately plucked a piece of potato from the plate and popped it in her mouth. As always, delicious. "Thank you so much, Jenny."

Jenny smiled and curtsied. At eighteen years old, she looked mature enough to be Elsa's age. "You are very welcome, your majesty."

Curtsying in return, the queen smiled. "Is there anything that you know of that I need to take care of in the next hour before I meet with Prince Alexander?"

"Not to my knowledge, your majesty." Jenny started to curtsy again, but stopped when Elsa looked at her funny. "I think I'll take me leave now, my lady, unless you would like me to stay..." Her eyes flickered toward the tea, but Elsa brushed it aside.

"No, thank you, Jenny. You may go." The queen tossed her hair behind her shoulder and smiled.

Jenny curtsied again before departing, and Elsa turned to her tray. She eyed the glass warily and sighed whilst turning her attention to a now ungloved hand. Rubbing her thumb and forefinger together, a white frost began to sprinkle down onto the carpeted floor. With a shaky hand, she gently caressed the glass as if it were a newborn child. Slowly and deliberately, the tea froze as her fingers passed over it. The liquid retained its pleasant, pink coloring even in ice form.

She hadn't realized that she was holding her breath until she exhaled in relief. She ran her fingers over the glass once again and the tea thawed into a once again drinkable form.

Picking up the glass and bringing it up to her lips, it almost felt liberating to sip the ice cold beverage. Though she generally preferred her tea hot and black, the sweetness of the strawberry and peach seemed to heighten her awareness and made her feel less like she carried a castle on her shoulders. In that moment, it was probably the best tasting drink she had ever had.

Just before she was going to leave to meet Prince Alexander, her tray empty but for a few bites of oatmeal, the familiar five-beat knock of her sister came from the door. Elsa sighed. She was tired and felt suffocated. To say she felt put-upon would be an understatement. She was happy Anna was there, and she was happy her drink wasn't poisoned, but her heart weighed a ton with lingering anxiety and depression. Forcing a smile onto her lips, the queen opened her bedroom door to the red-headed firecracker, anticipating her usual upbeat, whizzing personality to shoot into her room on a tail of lightning.

Surprise and a brief spell of disappointment added weight to her chest when Anna only gave her a meek smile and said, "Hi."

"Hi," Elsa replied, tugging lightly on the top of her elbow-length gloves.

Anna bit her lip lightly, a sadness slowly rippling over her visage as if a pebble was dropped in her eye.

Deeply concerned and anxious, but not entirely sure what to do about it, Elsa said the only thing that came into her head. "Is something wrong?"

Without a single word in reply, Anna wrapped her arms tightly around her sister, trapping her arms against her sides. Elsa cringed slightly, flustered, but relaxed quickly as she pulled an arm free and wrapped it around the princess's shoulders.

"I'm worried about you, Elsa..." her sister finally confessed, not slackening her tight grip on the queen.

Though it came with great difficulty, Elsa managed a smile and tried to say something comforting. "I'm okay, Anna" was the best she could come up with as she rubbed her sister's back soothingly.

Anna stiffened for a moment, and pulled away from Elsa a little so she could look up at her. Confusion and anger were the dominant emotions on her face. "Are you wearing gloves, Elsa?"

Knowing full well that Anna was referring to her emotional state, Elsa decided to play dumb. She raised an eyebrow. "Yes? I'm going horseback riding."

"You've gone horseback riding plenty of times over the past two years and you never wore gloves." Anna stepped back and crossed her arms in front of her. She looked a lot like their father when she was being stern... "What's wrong, Elsa? And don't say nothing. That's a filthy lie."

The queen closed her eyes and sighed. "My emotional state is not stable right now, Anna. It's not safe. I need to take every precaution I can to keep from hurting people."

Anna's head shook slowly from side to side. "You're not dangerous, Elsa. You know how to control your powers."

"And how is that?" Elsa asked, with an unexpectedly sharp edge to her tone. "Don't feel? I tried that, Anna. I tried that for thirteen years. Either I'm happy and no damage occurs, or I'm miserable and anxiety-ridden and I end up freezing the fjord." A hand raised up to rest against her forehead. A headache was beginning to form as if someone was stabbing her in the skull. "I can't hide from my emotions. I'd have to remove any semblance of a heart or soul from my body. The best I can do is conceal it from others."

Anger welled up inside Anna. It was almost as if the past two years didn't happen and carefree, happy Elsa never existed. "And what will that solve? Elsa, you have a beautiful gift that people would give their limbs for..."

"Better they give away their heart... They wouldn't want it after being given this curse..." Elsa muttered, wrapping her arms protectively around her abdomen.

"Elsa," Anna placed both her hands heavily on her sister's shoulders. "You are a good person. It just so happens that a lot of really cruddy things have happened to you. That's not your fault! You're under a lot of stress. You're a queen with little back-up behind you and so many things are going wrong that you have no control over." She reached a hand up and brushed a stray lock of hair from her sister's downcast eyes. "You can push through this, Elsa. You don't have to live a life of depression and unfulfillment to be a good queen, sister, and woman." Anna's green eyes pierced right through Elsa's blue ones like lazer beams into her soul. Sometimes Elsa was surprised by just how mature little Anna was growing up to be. It gave her something that felt a lot like hope. "You already are. Now perk up and go meet Prince Fancy-Pants," Anna socked her sister in the shoulder playfully. "'Cause... erm..." Anna looked down guiltily at her feet. "You're late..."