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After spending so much time listening to the distinct sound of Kiryuu's life dwindling away like smoke of an extinguished fire , Kaname found himself getting increasingly depressed as he realized the extent to which he'd gotten used to it . The dreadful sound of the heart monitor echoing in the background shaped a part of his daily life now , if not all of it .
The walls of the hospital room , the smell of sanitizers , and just everything around him inspired an all too familiar ache to take roots in his own heart and grow with each passing day .
It's been three months already since he walked in on that tragedy .
The doctor's words still reverberate in his mind with clarity so painful he couldn't stop himself from recalling them .
..We've done all we can .. But , I'm afraid the rest depends on his own will . It's a miracle he's in a coma and not dead already .
At the memory , Kaname brought a hand to his face and let out a deep sigh heavy with resignation . The hand dropped and settled around his mouth , covering it , showing how much he felt at loss and worn out .
If someone could take a look inside his brain now , they wouldn't find a pretty sight greeting them . His heart wasn't faring much better itself ..
The past three months have been anything but peaceful , slowly robbing the life out of him , to the point he didn't know even know where he stood anymore . Not his superior intellect and not his contradicting heart were enough to explain any of the madness that had transpired as of late .
Perhaps , him staying by Kiryuu's side , barely getting any rest , was the most mind-boggling fact of all , even if no one except for a select few knew about it .
" I wish I could say what you are feeling is misplaced guilt . " Said a familiar voice .
Kaname couldn't help but scoff , the action coming out more of a chuckle that hid behind it thousand of words . His hand slid from his face and gracefully made contact with the armrest before he lifted it up again , running his fingers through his silken locks in a manner that spoke of absolute supremacy .
He could have retorted back but he was above engaging in such conversation and arguing that just because he said nothing once did not guarantee he wouldn't in the future .
Besides , he wasn't the type to waste his breath when it would change nothing . He acknowledged that what was done cannot be undone .
What good would come out of him telling the truth ? It wasn't going to bring Kiryuu back to the land of living .. That didn't sound right… But at the same time , it did .
If anyone deserved to know then it was Kiryuu himself .
Things were , in the least of terms , complicated as it was .. If Yuki or Ichiru were to know…
God!
That was one train of thought he didn't want to explore at the moment . But Takuma's presence made it impossible not to think of that night and the consequences it brought about .
No matter how much time passed by , Kaname couldn't help feeling furious every time he recalled it . His whole being was on fire as the scene replayed itself before his eyes as if he was reliving that ugly night .
Even though he wanted to deny it till the last moment , he knew that Takuma had done that to Zero .
" What exactly have you done to him ? " Kaname demanded in a low tone as he eyed the blood on the floor mixed with two other scents he recognised but feared to confirm one of which. Still , he had to know what the problem was so he could solve it .
Proceeding to shift Kiryuu's body as carefully as possible , Kaname grimaced when he realized he'd have to decide between keeping a large piece of glass lodged in the silverette's thigh or pulling it out … The former would make the blood flow out from yet another injury .. He couldn't afford to do that . It didn't help lessen his worries when a gut feeling told him it would be futile to give Kiryuu his blood .
Takuma , on the other hand , made no effort to respond , out of tenacity , or indifference , or whatever ..kaname had no idea . One thing he knew for certain , his patience was running thin .
" TAKUMA , I asked you a question ! " Kaname snapped , raising his voice and lacing it with an ample amount of power , demanding complete obedience .
That seemed to do the trick . Takuma gasped softly and took a step backwards , eyes widened and lips parted , the first signs of shame carving themselves on his face as though the full gravity of the situation had just sunk in his head .
" .. I " He stuttered and darted his eyes around , feeling awfully anxious as he reached for his pocket and got something out .
Kaname narrowed his eyes and followed the movement , scrutinizing the source of that crinkling .
Takuma squeezed his hands around the object to stop them from shaking , and remained like that for as long as he could before hesitantly stepping closer , fear consuming him as he handed it to the pureblood .
Kaname's confusion cleared away and morphed into horror .
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She watched those droplets as they fell and rippled the surface of still water , playing the most serene of symphonies , the most hypnotising as well .
Maria blinked multiple times , knees bent and hands wrapped loosely around them .
She'd hoped a warm shower would take her mind off thinking about him , Zero Kiryuu … But it proved futile .
It's been exactly three months .. A voice from within told her another three would pass by without him waking up .
How sad of a truth ..
She never liked or forgave him for causing Ichiru so much pain .. But it was only a matter of time before she realized she couldn't really hate him , Ichiru's other half . She couldn't hate a part of him .. Zero's coma had further supported that conclusion . She couldn't say the news made her derive any sort of joy or satisfaction .. And if she did , she would be lying .
It's only after she decided to face her feelings that she found herself inside the bathroom , filling the bathtub with water and eventually getting in there , hoping she could drown her worries , submerge them so deep they wouldn't have any chance of arising .. Ever sgain .. In the end , she didn't get what she wanted
Despite the water already turning cold , Maria couldn't be bothered to get out . She probably would have stayed like that for an hour or two if it weren't for the fact her senses picked up on a certain aura nearby .
She stiffened , no longer leaning on the wall , and jolted out of the water , contemplating if she was hallucinating .
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Having scurried her way to put on the bathrobe she'd hung on the door handle , Maria dashed through her apartment , almost tripping on her own feet once and her surroundings a handful of times . Gladly , she'd managed to make it to the door without a single bruise .
She swayed the door open , chest heaving as she traveled her gaze all over his deflated form .
Ichiru lifted his head up and met her gaze , eyes distant and expression lost , before speaking up " .. I'm not known for being chivalrous or having good intentions .. But..For the first time in what feels like forever , I'm going to be honest .. "
She felt her breath getting stuck in her throat at that .
" Kurenai , I haven't a clue what it is I feel right now . I don't know if I want your company because of who you are , or if it's just because I feel terribly alone .. Or.. Maybe I see her in you .. "
Her eyes softened even more , if that was possible , as she nodded in understanding and abandoned her spot by the entrance , swiftly reaching forward and taking him in her embrace . His eyes barely widened , not because he'd seen it coming .. No .. He was far too gone to be able to express himself or even register what her actions meant or how it would affect him .
Things didn't stay that way for long , however . Before he knew it , all of his conflicted emotions , his agony , gathered in his eyes and he was already reciprocating , wrapping his arms around her waist and nearly crushing her under his weight .
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1488 + words
Updated 11 march , 2018 .
A/N
I don't know if it's clear by now or not but well , every male character portrays a different type of writer , ranging from story writers to songwriters , to poets .. etc . Also , everyone in this story has depression or mental problems , with varying degrees . So It is by no means a cheerful read , not something one would turn to if they feel like lifting up their spirits … But it's still something I wanted to write .
Uncertain News :
When I started writing this , I had already planned for it to be my last .. until further notice .
At best , I'll be going in a very long indefinite hiatus ( writing-wise ) and at worst , I won't be coming back at all , for many reasons .
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Xoxo Zerovk
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