Author's Note: Happy New Year! As always, a huge THANK YOU to Corinne for making my Luke a perfect and polished Brit. You are the bomb!

o~O~o
Chapter 42
Luke's POV
o~O~o

"Fix You"

"When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face

When you lose something you cannot replace

Tears stream down your face

And I...

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you"

o~O~o

Despite my heritage, I am known to be quite mild mannered.

My fellow countrymen can be hot headed, sarcastic and downright rude but every single problem, worry or complaint can be resolved over a cup of tea. Yes, a cup of tea. Whilst us Brits did not invent the perfect blend of leaves, it was our decision to shove them into little cloth bags and somewhere along the line, we decided to own the right to use a hot cup of tea, with cold milk, to end all of our problems.

A broken leg? Have a cup of tea. Sick with a fever? Have a cup of tea. Need to complain about anything. Have a cup of tea. Lost your job? Have a cup of tea. Won the lottery? Have a cup of tea. Discovered that your husband is a lying, cheating scumbag who values a shag and getting high more than his wife and brand new baby? Have a cup of tea.

In all our years of friendship, I have seen every emotion Beca has. I've seen elation, I've seen sorrow, I've seen regret, I've seen joy and I've seen her fall apart. Today... today was the day I saw my best friend completely broken. And this time, a cup of tea was most certainly not going to make this all better.

And that is not ok with me.

I was glad he left when he did. Despite holding the baby in my arms, I wanted to hurt Jesse with every fiber in my body. I wanted to finish him, leave a mark that he'd remember forever and hurt him in such a way so he that he would know what he'd done to Beca. I'll always be thankful to Lila because she is the reason I didn't put her father in hospital and myself in jail the night he left.

After kicking Jesse out of the house, Beca fell to her knees.

She stared at the front door for what seemed like an eternity before finally dropping her head into her hands and rocking uncontrollably as she wept, finally realizing that he wasn't coming back to bullshit her one more time. The sound of her weeping in that way is something that I've never heard before, and God willing, I'll never hear again. I've seen her upset, sad and angry but she's vocal, she's emotional, she's... well, you always know what's wrong at the time because she tells you. Crying quietly is simply not Beca.

No words were spoken.

I knew there was nothing I could say or do that would stop her from completely shutting down in front of me. It was as if she wasn't even aware that I was there. The air was thick with emotion and uncertainty and, as she rocked herself, she looked so small and vulnerable. The light died in her eyes, the sparkle faded away, as if all her hopes and dreams suddenly left and she no longer had a purpose. Something changed in me a little too, if I'm honest. Not just the anger or the hurt on her behalf, but sort of a sense of need to protect Beca... and Lila. As if all my purpose in life was to keep the bad stuff from them. I could not deal with her hurting this badly.

I was at a loss as to what to do so I left Beca in the foyer and went to lay Lila down in her bassinet in the family room. I did not know when or if Beca would start lashing out at me and I didn't want her to have to worry about the baby if she wanted to unleash on me. I hoped she wouldn't turn on me but I had to face the facts, I was the arsehole that brought her lying, cheating, no good, bastard of a husband home to confess his indiscretions.

I debated whether to put the kettle on and make some tea but instead I took a seat on the stairs and watched Beca fight to regain control of herself for over an hour.

Suddenly and without any warning, Beca sniffled and wiped her face on her shirt before she finally got up off the floor. She didn't seem to see me nor care that I was there if she did. She looked so somber as she walked toward the bassinet and picked the baby up. Holding Lila close, Beca inhaled her sweet, new baby smell, smoothed down her tuft of hair on her baby's head then started silently weeping again. Moments later, she walked slowly back towards the staircase, glanced at the front door once more and slowly went upstairs not even acknowledging me from my position on the third step. She then locked herself in the nursery and refused to come out.

I tried. Oh, I really tried. I offered tea, leftover sandwiches and even whiskey. I offered a walk, despite the late hour, or a night time drive and I suggested some music. Even the two dogs pawed at the door, trying to get her to open up but through it all the door remained locked.

It killed me to listen to her fall apart. The love and warmth that had filled the house only hours earlier was gone. The house was cold and quiet. The remnants of the homecoming party still cheerfully hung everywhere in the house so I decided I'd pack it all away. It could all be redecorated again but I knew Beca, I knew the mood had changed and she wouldn't want to look at the congratulatory cards with whimsical bunnies holding up balloons. I found a couple of empty storage boxes in the garage and tidied everything away.

I cleaned the kitchen. I bathed both dogs who whimpered slightly but knew I was doing them no harm. Jagger even licked my hand as I towel died him off and that simple little action, akin to a quiet and small thank you set me off. And the treats they received afterwards earned me quite a few brownie points.

That's when I fell apart.

Staying strong for Beca had been very taxing, especially when all I wanted to do was follow Jesse out of the house and beat the everloving shit out of him. How dare he do this to Beca? To Lila? Didn't she deserve a family and Daddy who loved her unconditionally? Jesse never gave their family a chance… he just threw it all away and for what? A quick lay with a two bit whore in fancy red shoes. When I think about how many shoulders those shoes have been around… ugh… the thought had me ready to Posen… all over the damn house.

As much as I wanted to bust the door down and check on Beca, I knew she needed more time… and quite frankly, so did I. I needed to think about what to do next. I needed to get my head and my thoughts together so that I could be everything Beca and Lila needed me to be. I let the dogs out into the backyard and I went out to the guest house. As soon as the door closed behind me, I bellowed, yelled and roared until I was pretty sure that I had permanently damaged my vocal chords. I had fully expected for all of the windows to blow out from the force of my outburst. I was so hoarse that I didn't recognize my own voice when I tried talking to myself into, or out of, the plan that was in my head. I suddenly heard Aubrey's voice inside my head saying "Your vocal cords have just rubbed together at an above average rate without proper lubrication… and we both know that leads to nodes."

Feckin' Aubrey!

I began pacing… back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Running my hands through my hair and yelling some more. I needed to calm myself. I was no good to Beca or Lila in my current state and I certainly wasn't acting like the British gentleman my mother raised me to be. If she could see and hear me now, I'd get a serious telling off.

"FUCK!" I screamed as I swept my arm across the the kitchen island, sending the crystal decanter and matching glasses sailing onto the floor. The sound of the breaking glass was somewhat cathartic and I watched with apathetic joy as the shards of glass spread across the tiled floor of the guest house. In my mind, I saw Jesse laying where we'd found him after his overdose several months before and now he was decorated in hundreds of tiny splinters of glass, all piercing his skin and causing him pain. I smiled for the first time and noted that I clearly needed to get all of this out of my system before going back into the house. Beca couldn't hear or know about my outburst.

I walked over to the couch, sat down and buried my face in my hands. How could life spiral out of control so quickly? In hindsight, what happened really wasn't quick though… it's been going on for some time. I guess I hoped Beca would have seen it coming and it wouldn't have been the shock. Maybe she did know and was angry at herself for trying one last time. Maybe she'd been in complete denial and didn't suspect. Maybe the emotions of the last few days and bringing Lila home made everything seem a hundred times worse.

It wasn't long before I found myself pacing again; my head filled with questions that I couldn't answer. Not knowing what else to do, I went into the guest bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. Looking at my reflection in the mirror I began to question everything that happened today.

As friends, Beca and I have gone through everything together but could we make it through this and still be friends on the other side? Could our friendship survive the demise of Beca's marriage and family? Would Beca hate me for making Jesse confess? Would she understand my thought process and why I made him do it? Even if she decided to hate me in the end and walk away from our friendship, at least I knew that I had done everything humanly possible to protect her and Lila. I waited for an answer in the reflection in the bathroom mirror. But it never came.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and scrolled through the names, finding the one I wanted. I hadn't done this in such a long time, pressed the call button to connect then waited for an answer.

"Hello." Came the voice on the other end. Just hearing her voice comforted me and despite the late hour, I knew she wouldn't mind the intrusion.

"Mum, I need to talk."

"Luke, honey, what's wrong?" My mum's voice was so full of concern at the late night phone call.

"I'm sorry it's so late."

"It's ok. What's going on?"

"She's broken mum… completely and totally broken."

"Who is?" I could hear her sit up in bed and turn her bedside light on. I glanced at my wristwatch; I hadn't realized it was so late and immediately felt guilty for waking her.

"Beca."

"Is something wrong with the baby?" She asked me. "What do you need me to do?"

"The baby is fine… I think, it's Beca I'm worried about."

"Is it postnatal depression?"

"No… at least I don't think that has anything to do with it. I don't really know enough about it to be sure. I think the shit has finally hit the fan."

"Lucas Oliver..."

"Sorry mum, I didn't mean to swear."

"Honey, tell me what has happened?"

As I recounted the events that had occurred that afternoon and evening, I could hear my mom trying to stifle a sob through the phone. She was trying to be there for me when I needed her most but her tears came like rivers. Beca was like a daughter to my parents and the fact that she was hurting caused pain in my mum's chest.

"Oh… my poor poppet!" Mum said when I was finished. "What can I do?"

"I'm not sure there's much that any of us can do." I admitted to my mother. I had never admitted defeat, ever and yet, here I was doing just that.

"Luke, darling, just be there for her. She'll come 'round, she always does."

"I'm trying mum, I swear I am but… she's completely shut down and shut me out."

"You're her best friend and her lifeline; just give her some time. She has a lot to process and deal with at the moment. She'll turn to you when she's ready; just don't push her too hard."

"That's what I thought too but I'm not sure what she needs me to do."

"She's Beca, she needs to work out what to do next before she can tell you what to do, it's different for her now. She's got that beautiful baby to put before herself and if she needs a month to work out her life, then let her have it. She'll thank you for it later on. Remember that, ok son?"

"I'll be hard but I will."

"No one said it would be easy… And Lucas, you need to calm down a bit-"

"-Mum, I'm fine-"

"-But you're not and that's ok. Now, go take a nice long shower or go for a swim to clear your head." Claire suggested. "Stay strong, Beca and Lila need you more now than ever before. Make some tea. Clean up the decorations and camp out on the sofa or in one of the guestrooms for the night in case she needs you."

"I've cleared up the party and bathed the dogs already. You've taught me well Mum!"

"No Luke, most of that is you and the love you have for Beca."

"She's my best friend Mum."

"And you can't love your friend?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Do you want me or your dad to come over and keep you company?"

"No, I think that might unsettle Beca if there's other people here. It's weird though, she's only been like this for four hours or so and I already miss the old her."

"Give her a chance to find her way back. She's had a terrible fright and her memory of tonight will be horrid for quite some time. Just keep looking after her without intimidating her and or being vexatious and just hang in there."

"I will."

"I love you, my boy."

"I love you too… and Mum, thanks."

"You're welcome darling. Call me in a day or so when you have some time… we'll go to lunch at that little cafe that you like so much. A mother, son date like we used to do."

"I'd like that… a lot. Talk to you soon."

"Bye love."

"Bye Mum."

As I ended the call, I knew I was right to call my mother. She was just the person I needed to talk to. She always makes things seem so rosey and perfect. And occasionally I still needed her advice on what to do. She was right, of course. I couldn't barrel myself into Beca's problems and fix it all. She didn't need a knight in shining armor. She needed me, Luke, the one who laughed when she fell over in the mud, the one who teased her when she got her first pimple and the one who planned their lives together when they were kids.

If could do it all over again and help her rewrite the next chapter of her life, I would.

After pulling myself together, I walked back out to the kitchen and began to clean the mess I made, there was shards of glass everywhere. Crystal doesn't break like other types of glass… it shatters into hundred of thousands of minuscule pieces. It was not going to be a quick clean up and the vacuum was going to get one hell of a work out.

As I waited for the floor to dry after I mopped it, I needed to keep busy. Except for the mess I'd made, the house was clean. Silvana had just been here a few days ago. Feeling terrible for breaking the decanter, I went online to order a replacement from Tiffany & Co. Nothing but the best for Beca.

When I was ready to face the world again, I went outside and took a deep breath of fresh air. It wasn't long before the dogs were at my side with their ball. I couldn't deny them some fun so I played fetch with them for a for a bit before going back into the main house. After drinking a cuppa with honey and lemon to help soothe my scratchy, irritated throat, I started to unpack Beca's suitcases and threw her dirty clothes in the washing machine. In reality, I was giving her the time and space she needed even though I wanted to be right there next to her.

But it didn't hurt to wash her laundry at the same time. Gave me something to do and helped to pass the time. And one of the things she and I had in common was hatred of piles of laundry hanging around.

I put the television on so that I'd feel less alone and tried to eat something. No matter how hard I tried, my thoughts kept drafting back to Beca and the baby. They had been upstairs for hours and I hadn't heard a peep out of them. Making sure the house was locked up and the lights were off, I made my way upstairs. As I approached the landing, I could hear Beca's sobs and felt my heart break for her. I took no joy in what had happened, though I'm sure Jesse thinks that I did.

I knocked lightly on the nursery door but got no answer. Lowering myself to the floor, I sat in the hallway right outside the nursery with my head resting on my knees for what felt like hours and listened as Beca wept inconsolably. Every now and then I could hear movement, probably diaper changes and feedings, but the weeping and the sobbing never stopped… if anything it got worse with time.

Finally, when I just couldn't take it anymore; I found a bobby pin in Beca's room, wiggled it into the lock and let myself into the nursery. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My very best friend in the entire world and the strongest woman that I knew, was curled up in fetal position on the bed around the baby. I've never seen her look so tiny and so broken before. My heart shattered into what felt like a million pieces in that very moment. Here was the most beautiful woman in the world, a pillar of strength, reduced to a puddle of tears and sorrow all because her husband was a vile, disgusting, selfish human being and couldn't keep his dirty junk to himself.

If I'm honest, I had never actually liked Jesse, never trusted him and I never thought he was good enough for Beca. I told her my thoughts and feelings on the matter because we didn't have any secrets and after I had said my piece, we never spoke of it again. I respected her enough to let her make her own decisions. She deserved so much more than Jesse could ever dream of giving her but I put a smile on my face and I was pleased for her because he seemed to make her happy.

And now... now I just want to beat him to a bloody pulp so that he would hurt worse than she does. But no matter what I could do to him physically, it would never amount to the mental and emotional pain and anguish that Beca was feeling. How could he do this to her and Lila?

I walked further into the room, closing the door gently behind me. Then I did something I normally wouldn't have done but I felt on this occasion it was warranted and very necessary. I laid down on the bed behind Beca and pulled her into my arms. I wanted and needed her to know that she was safe and that I wasn't going to do anything to hurt her. Partly it was for my own sanity too, so that I could show her that I knew she was hurting and wanted to do all I could to keep her safe.

Pulling her closer, I felt this amazing sense of contentment, like that was exactly where I was meant to be and I guess in that moment, I was. Strangely, our bodies fit together like that's the way we were always meant to be. But the thing that really made me understand that what I had just done was right, was Beca relaxing into me as I wrapped my arms tightly around her. The stiffness flowed out of her as the hot tears fell and her body wracked with more sobs.

No words were spoken and the thick silence hung in the air like a foggy morning. There was nothing to say; verbal communication was beyond her right now, so all I could do was to hold her and tell her through my actions that I love loved her and that I'd never hurt her the way he had.

With a final wiggle, she pressed herself into me and sighed the smallest of sighs as she closed her eyes. Maybe it was part of my imagination or my want to see it, but as she finally fell asleep with my arms wrapped around her, I swear I could see the smallest ghost of a smile on her lips.

o~O~o

Over the next few days, Will and Anne would call every evening after work to check on Beca. She never answered her phone and when she got tired of hearing it ring, she finally just turned it off. Out of concern, and of course not knowing what had taken place when Jesse came home, they called him, which proved pointless. Apparently, he too had ignored their calls for a while and then that stupid whore answered the phone and I think they got the message… loud and clear.

And that told them everything they needed to know. Instead of actually trying to fix the mess Jesse had caused, he just sat around with his bollocks in his hand... or rather in her hand.

As a last resort, they called me. I did my best to tell them that she was just really tired and sleeping when the baby slept because that's what all the books told her to do but Anne wasn't buying it at all. She had known me for most my life and she knew when I was lying. She's a judge, so of course, it's her job to know when people were lying. She could sniff out a liar from a couple of hundred yards away, which is why Beca never got away with anything as a kid.

For three days Beca, Lila and I camped out in the nursery. I slept on a pallet of blankets on the floor, with the dogs nuzzled into my side, while Beca and Lila slept in the bed. I have never felt so useless in all my life. I fed the dogs and put together some simple yet healthy meals because that was all I could do. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fix this; to put it simply, I couldn't take Beca's pain away. Time is supposed to heal all wounds... right? God, I hope for her sake and Lila's that she'll get through this soon. Watching her this way has been difficult to say the least.

There was a lot of quiet time as we did nothing more than stare at each other so, instead, I decided to pass the time by doing a lot of reading. I started reading "What To Expect In The First Year"... don't judge! Beca had a lot of baby rearing books in the house and I was desperate to pass the time. I found out that she would essentially lose her milk supply if she didn't eat and drink properly. If she wasn't eating well then the baby wasn't eating. She hated me but I had to practically force her to eat and drink, reciting verbatim what I'd read before she finally realized I was right. She gave me quite a spectacular eye roll for my nagging and to be honest, I've never been so happy to see her do it. She was eating the bare minimum though she was much better about drinking so that was definitely an improvement.

At some point on day four, I had to physically but gently put Beca in the shower and order her to bathe. She hadn't changed since she came home from the hospital and I figured a shower might help. She whined and mumbled that she just wanted a hot bath and a glass of wine but according to her doctor, the midwife and all the books I had just read, she couldn't bathe in the bathtub for at least six weeks and wine was out for the foreseeable future. And because I sounded so sure or maybe because for once Beca needed to be just told what to do, she actually listened to me.

Finally, a few hours later Beca started talking. For a little while she babbled and mumbled like incoherently, then started to make some sense but still wouldn't leave the comfortable surroundings of the nursery. The nursery was her safe place, and as it turned out it was one of the only places in the house that she and Jesse hadn't well... you know!

Blech!

By the next day she was making a lot more sense and it was a good thing too because Will and Anne showed up unannounced. To be honest, I had expected them a lot sooner but work and other obligations kept them both pretty busy during the week.

Anyway, they were tired of the excuses I was giving them and needed to see Beca. When I opened the door, Anne barreled in like a bull in a China shop demanding to know what in the hell was going on and where Beca and Lila were.

Beca, while better than just the day before, was still in quite a state when they saw her. She tried to put on a happy face but her dad knew better. He knew his daughter well and he knew things weren't "ok" like she tried to make them believe.

When Beca finally told her parents all the details of what had happened, Anne wanted Jesse's bollocks in a jar and Will was ready for hunting season to start. Neither one had anything nice to say about their soon to be ex-son-in-law. Anne immediately went into legal mode, telling Beca to contact Miranda Grainger, the realtor and put the house on the market, close the joint bank account before Jesse emptied it, if he hadn't done so already, find a new house and move in as soon as humanly possible.

While I was worried that all of this information would overwhelm Beca, it didn't. It actually gave her the kick in the ass that she needed to get shit done. There was a little glimmer in her eyes and suddenly I could see a little hint of the old Beca coming back. It's kinda funny how she was doing everything to avoid her parents but in the end, they were what she needed the most.

Will scooped Beca and Lila, into his lap and hugged them for what seemed like forever. Beca hadn't realized how much she had missed her Dad's lap and buried her face in the crook of his neck as he rubbed wide circles on her back. I knew that was the only way he'd been able to comfort her as a young child and it was clearly working as the pained expression began to leave her face.

"I'm so proud of you baby. You're doing what so many other women don't have the strength to do. You're gonna come out of this stronger than you were before." Will told her. She knew he was right but somehow she just had to manage to get through the next few weeks.

"It just hurts so bad Daddy." she sobbed. "Please do something, anything to make the pain go away. Please." she begged.

I watched Will's heart break a little more knowing that there was nothing he could do to make this situation any less heartbreaking. It was followed by a sneaky little twinkle in his eye.

"If I could take the pain away I'd give it to your Momma and you and me would go shopping." Will told her as he blew a kiss to Anne. Anne smiled before staring daggers at him.

Beca gave a small laugh. She's knew her dad was trying to make things better by joking around. "Dad… I'm being serious."

"I know baby." Will said as he kissed her forehead. "It's always the people we love the hardest that hurt us the most. Letting go can be so hard but it can also be the most empowering thing we ever have to do. You can and will get through this. I have faith in you."

Will kissed her forehead again and hugged her a little tighter. It had been a long time since Beca sought his lap for comfort. She may be a grown woman with a baby of her own but she was always going to be his baby and he would never tire of these moments.

Anne watched the sweet father daughter moment and walked over to join in. After Anne settled in on Will's lap this look of unconditional love and content spread across his face. The three most important girls in his life were snuggled on his lap. I began to back out of the room, leaving the family to bond and find solace with each other but Will clicked his tongue and with his eyes, told me to stay. I leaned against the door jam, still feeling a little awkward but pleased that I was needed and wanted.

"Beca, sweetheart, I love you but you smell of self pity and breast milk. When was the last time you washed your hair? It looks like it's been humped by a category five hurricane." Anne said making a face. "Give me my grandbaby and go get in the shower. You need to wash that shit down the drain… once and for all."

"Gee thanks Mom." Beca said, sitting up straighter. "For the record… I showered yesterday but I didn't wash my hair." She had to admit that a shower sounded amazing so she wasn't going to argue. She kissed her parents and handed Lila off to her mom, then headed in the direction of the stairs. She squeezed my hand as she walked past me and that humble touch told me everything I had done over the past week was exactly what I should have done.

While Beca was in the shower, Anne asked that I contact my dad in reference to representing Beca in the divorce. She also wanted Jesse investigated and followed. She said that she didn't care what the cost was, she would pay it. Will just nodded in in silent agreement.

Anne said that she had a feeling that there were "more skeletons in Slim Shady's closet" and she wanted to know what they were. She was also just as sure that there was more to Jesse's story than he was willing to share, in fact, she had felt this way from the beginning but like me, was trying to be happy for Beca. For what it was worth, I totally agreed. Fuckface was hiding a lot more than he had fessed up to.

I excused myself to Beca's office to call my dad. I told him in gruesome detail about what Jesse had done and he immediately agreed to represent Beca, no questions asked, no mention of payment. Dad said that he would not only represent Beca for the divorce proceedings but for the child custody hearings as well. He said that hell would freeze over before he let that "the knob jockey get shared custody of Lila".

My parents saw Beca as the daughter they never had. They have always loved her as their own and they hurt for her as much as I do.

My mum, God bless her, is the sweetest woman alive but boy does she have opinions. She said, "I have never liked that boy… I told your dad that something was off with that one after the first time I met him. He's a bad, bad seed. Rotten to the core."

I just shook my head. What do you say to your mother when you know damn well that she's right? I'll tell you what you say… not a bloody thing.

Mum offered to bring dinner by a couple of nights week and help with the baby as much and as often as Beca needed or wanted her to. I didn't have the heart to tell her that Beca had hired a nanny to help out during the day once she went back to work. I had to tell her to slow her roll as she was putting the cart well before the horse. My mum means well, but often goes right off the deep end when things goes wonky and pear shaped.

I was in the kitchen finishing restocking the fridge with my latest acquisitions when I heard Beca come down the stairs. It was exactly ten days after Jesse had shut the front door for the last time and since Beca had ventured downstairs properly.

While I'd been to the market and collected enough groceries to feed a small army, Beca managed to shower, wash and braid her hair and put on something other than stained pajamas. As she stood in the doorway of the kitchen, I looked over to her and saw that there was an aura of strength around her. Words were words and she could bullshit her folks into believing she was getting there but this look she was sporting in that moment, that showed me she was on the way back up.

She smiled as I closed the fridge door. I collected the paper bags from the store and crumbled them in my hands. She crossed the kitchen and placed the baby monitor on the counter and tucked a few stray hairs behind her ear.

"You went to the grocery for us?" She asked quietly, looking up at me.

"Yes, I did. All you had left was a jar of mustard and some olives."

"You didn't have to do that. I could have..."

"I know but I did it anyway." I smiled down at her. Risking it going the wrong way, I continued. "You owe me ninety six dollars and forty cents for feeding your sorry arse."

"Got it… Ninety six dollars. I'll get you some cash."

"And forty cents." I quipped and she grinned.

"I probably owe you a lot more than that."

"Listen... make me dinner and we'll call it quits, ok?"

"Dinner?"

"Yes."

"I can do that." Beca gave a small nod to the idea, more to herself than to me.

"It's probably been a while since you last cooked." I chuckled. "Need any help?"

And there it was. Right there, in that moment. the smallest of eye rolls aimed directly at me. She was back!

"Like you could help me!" Beca growled as she reached for the fridge door. "I have no idea what you've been rustling up the last week or so but dude, there's takeout available for a reason."

"What's wrong with my jacket potatoes?" I asked, faking being hurt.

"For a start, it's a baked potato. What's with the jacket business?" She asked as she peered in the fridge, quickly pulling out different items.

"Oh you want to go down that road, do you?" I asked, taking a step forward as if to help her with the things in her hands. She put her hand out and rested it gently on my chest.

"Sit." She said quietly and pushed me to one of the kitchen island chairs. "You've done enough." She whispered.

I nodded and took a seat while she continued in a normal voice. "What road do you want to go down? You Brits drive on the wrong side of the road so that would be wrong as well. Everything is back to front with you people?"

I was enjoying this more than I should have.

"Us people? Oh, you mean the refined perfection of the gentle folk from the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Island?"

She looked at me open mouthed for a second as she placed the bag of salad items and cooked chicken on the counter.

"Is it really called that?"

"What?"

"Your country?"

"Yes it is. Apparently."

"Do you miss living there?"

"I barely remember it now. I was young when we moved remember?"

"But you go back several times a year to visit Granny and Pops."

"True."

"Do you ever feel like moving again and starting all over?" Beca asked, reaching for a chopping board.

I thought for a moment on what she said. Was this a way of her saying she wanted to move far away? Or just a conversation starter. "I don't know to be honest. I like living here but mostly because it's close to you."

She nodded gently as she started pouring weird colored oils into a bowl. I wasn't sure what she was doing but it was fun to watch her effortlessly get back to being herself. She was tearing leaves and scrunching them into the bowl before she tipped the lot of a big pile of salad.

Although it was gentle, the conversation was easier and definitely indicated that she'd turned a corner. Within twenty minutes, she'd prepared a chicken salad with homemade croutons no less, that looked incredible. She pushed a plate towards me and took the seat next to me.

"This looks great." I said encouragingly. She smiled over towards me as she stabbed her fork into a pile of leaves and peppers.

"Thank you." She said, laying the fork down. "I couldn't have gotten through the week without you."

"Oh I'm sure you'd have-"

"-Luke."

"Yes?"

"I'm thankful you were here. Lila thanks you as well."

"Well, she is a little rockstar. I did it all so I could spend time with her, you know." I grinned and gave her a small side eye. "You stank so much it was hard being close to you."

"Well, you haven't shaved in ten days and look like a hobo."

"Oh you noticed?" I said, running my hand over my beard.

"More than you think I do." She muttered. We locked eyes for a minute, a thousand words left unspoken on purpose. I picked out a particularly tasty looking piece of chicken and wished I had the right words to say.

"So, I have a question?" Beca asked as she stood and reached for two glasses on the drainer. She filled them with water and set on in front of me as I looked up expectantly.

"Yes?" I braced myself for a flurry of questions about Jesse. Why I did what I did and what Stacie was like. But instead, she smiled a slightly mischievous grin and asked,

"What's the plan for tomorrow?"