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Whenever life became too stressful ,
Yuki would end up in her safe haven , alone , surrounded by musical pieces and water . And her thoughts , of course .
It would be a terrible understatement , however , to use the term " stressed " to describe her state in the past three months . Probably because she wasn't .
Actually , she was .
When people feel depressed , stress often accompanies it , right ?
Those two conditions have always been used interchangeably , like some star-crossed inseparable lovers or something..
Isn't it amazing ? How a person's mental and emotional state affect their physical one ?
We underestimate sadness and overthinking , even though a tiny amount of them could be deadly over the days . Without us noticing , they creep their way towards our soul and begin corrupting it . Grievously , by the time we realize that something is wrong , the damage would have already taken roots in our bodies , morphing into tangible proof , targeting our physical health .
Maybe none of that made sense , but Yuki firmly believed it did .
An affair . they have an affair ! Stress and depression . Such was the conclusion she'd reached , quite proudly , she'd argue .
Still , there exists a crucial difference between stressed Yuki and depressed Yuki . The former would distract herself and vent some anger by dancing underwater while listening to Mon Amour , for instance . The latter , on the other hand , had no mind , energy , or heart to do any of that .
Which takes us back to square one , where Yuki is found sprawled on the glass floor of her studio , knowing that a simple push of her finger is the only thing separating her from dropping into the water below .
She closes her eyes for a meditating moment , focusing on the way her chest heaved up and down in a uniform fashion , a certain melody playing in her ears , whispering words of temptation , taking her by the hands until she was sitting upright , thinking of nothing but that song .
Bang
Bang
He shot me down .
Bang
Bang
I hit the ground
Bang
Bang
That awful sound
Bang
Bang
My baby shot me down .
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Ruka didn't know why but here she was , standing in front of the door leading to a certain dance studio .
Actually , she knew .
They never got along . Ruka has always felt jealous of Yuki , bitter even . And yet , she was expected to help the pureblood princess get accustomed to the vampire society , to teach her how to be a lady according to their world .
In fact , it was thanks to her that Yuki developed such an interest in ballet dancing , something Ruka has always been in love with but never seemed to consider growing in . The irony ..
It's been a long time since they last spoke up to each other or had any sort of interaction , privately . Which was only natural . They weren't friends . Ruka had no intention of spending more time than was necessary with her rival .. Even though such term made no sense anymore . Yuki had long won and Ruka had long lost . There was nothing to be rivals for .
It has always been like that , she realized . It was a truth staring her right at the face but she still deluded herself into believing otherwise ..
When Yuki Cross changed into Yuki Kuran , however , Ruka acknowledged , reluctantly , that it was never going to work .. She had no chance , for real . The person Yuki had always thought to be out of her reach was in fact hers , all along ..
That's why , as soon as she finished her tutoring duty , Ruka kept a safe distance from the Kurans . Nonetheless , she never stopped caring for him , Kaname-sama ..
In the safety of her own mind , she would always omit the honorific though . It made him feel closer , way closer than he actually was ..
That's when she realized he'd always been out of her reach .
Infatuation ? Unrequited Love ? Obsession ? A crush ? The infamous pureblood allure ?
It mattered not what name her feelings had , she knew one thing , they ran so deep that even after so much time had passed , she truly prayed for his happiness , even if it meant letting go , even when she knew that Yuki wouldn't bring him any with that half heart of hers . Everyone knew the girl was torn between two men , indecisive and lost , the thing that killed the three of them .
Ruka felt like frowning in disgust whenever she thought of that , until she realized how similar her situation was , torn between a cousin and a pureblood ..
Afterwards , the distance kept stretching between her and the Kurans , especially the pureblood princess , for obvious reasons .
It would have stayed that way too , were it not for the unforeseen tragedy of one Zero Kiryuu collapsing in the comfort of his own house !
Leaning on the wall , Ruka couldn't help sighing at that .
It seemed like no one she knew was happy .. Such a depressing truth ..
Her face wrinkled in grief as she closed her eyes and inhaled , finding it difficult to even do that . It was like all of her bottled up emotions had gathered and settled in her throat , vowing to make something as simple as breathing a far fetched dream .
God.. You know you are doomed when you come up with such an analogy .
Deciding it was about time she stopped stalling , Ruka took a deep breath , pulled away , and proceeded to knock , blinking twice when the door moved a little at the contact .
Was it perhaps unlocked and left ajar too ?
She moved her palm against the door , eyebrows shooting up when it did yield to her force .
She almost wanted to make a big deal out of it but then she realized the logic behind such action . Even if someone was to barge inside , Yuki -as a pureblood- would be more than capable of handling the situation . Besides , she probably wasn't in the mood to worry about an open door . In fact , she couldn't be bothered with it .
Ruka felt her lips curl into a sympathetic smile at that .
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When sitting on the chair became too uncomfortable , Kaname would abandon it in favour of the couch placed few steps away from the bed where Kiryuu lay asleep .
The pureblood flopped down , a heavy sigh escaping his lips , before bending forward , his elbows pressed on his thighs . Something crinkled as he did that , making him frown , wondering what it was .
It didn't take long for his knitted eyebrows to relax when realization dawned on him .
He found himself straightening , reclining further into the cozy cushions , having seemingly reached his limit .
He brought his head upwards and gazed at the plain white ceiling , asking himself why he kept that thing .
The answer came in the form of a flashback to that night when it all started .
Takuma had handed him something , presumably the source of that sound .
His guess had been right .
An empty foil blister strip .
Confused so as to how that should answer the question he'd asked , Kaname turned the foil around and swiped his gaze all over the words printed there . That's when his expression changed into absolute horror .
Takuma had planned it all !
Warfarin , a rodenticide prescribed to humans as a blood thinner - or more accurately , a coagulant . - Some people are born with problems in their clotting system , hence the need to regulate it . If a clot stops the flow of blood to vital organs , it could be deadly . But at the same time , clotting could be very important , in case of injury . When blood gathers to form a clot around a wound , it helps protect it from outside infections and also stops the bleeding .
That's the tricky part . Blood thinners do not differentiate between normal and abnormal clotting . They end up preventing both the good and bad with the added risk of uncontrollable bleeding .
It doesn't stop there , Takuma didn't stop there .
He coupled that venom with aspirin , a low dose of which could cause intestinal bleeding .
What does all of that mean ?
Well , put simply , you have a case of internal bleeding that cannot be stopped .
Kaname had one word to describe that . Twisted .
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Why was he even watching over Kiryuu ?
Kaname didn't have a plausible answer for that .. But he supposed it must have had to do with Yuki .
Kiryuu has always meant alot to her . she valued his happiness as if it was her own .. And Kaname could never take that away from her , his precious sunshine .
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Few hours later witnessed Kaname abandoning the couch , like he did with the chair , and making his way towards the table across the bed , pouring himself a glass of water , mind left in a state of total despair .
Pursing his lips , he slammed a hand on the said table , eventually drumming his fingers against it , before shaking his head and exhaling , deciding he needed a quick meal .
He spared the blood tablets resting atop the marble a brief look , not knowing why he was taking so damn long to reach forward and take two pills out .
It just seemed like everything was moving in slow motion as of late . there was no need to rush when nothing much changed .. Three months.. Three goddamn months !
Grabbing the glass with more force than was necessary , Kaname took a moment to calm himself down before he spun on his heels , running his gaze all over the room , almost gasping at the sight greeting his now widened eyes .
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A/N
Updated Wednesday , 14 march .
I dearly hope there are no typos or missing words or whatever .
In case you haven't heard the song , check it out , Dua lipa bang bang .
That's the ver I love the most . actually , that's how I first knew it . I'm addicted !
This chappie is dedicated to WeirdBlackCat for reasons I will not disclose ~ :P
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Xoxo Zerovk
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