Just a little one

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Christian held Jess's hair back for half an hour as she vomited into a toilet until Ana came back, quickly finding them in the apartment after seeing the mess and empty bottles in the main room.

As Jess stopped being sick she felt Ana's hand on her back and turned around, seeing her mother kneeling on the bathroom floor beside her and collapsed into her arms, crying her eyes out.

Christian was sat on the edge of the bath, watching his daughter curled into his girlfriend as they both cried.

'I lost my baby mum, I lost it'

Ana was rubbing Jess's back with tears in her own eyes 'I know honey, I know'

Jess practically passed into her bed that night, physically and mentally exhausted.

With no idea what to do Christian went into one of the spare bedrooms, sitting on the bed with an exhausted sigh. Running his hands through his hair Christian took out his phone and dialled, waiting for it to connect and finding that his voice was quiet and cracked.

'John, it's me… Jess isn't doing so good. Actually she's doing really bad, uh, I feel like I've failed her. I know it's late but I didn't know who else to talk to. She's my daughter and I feel like I'm not the father she needs right now... she's been drinking and I… I don't know what I can do anymore, I can't let her down'

There was a brief pause and Flynn replied 'I'll see her in the morning. I'll come to yours, she's probably not in any state to be travelling around. I'll call you when I know what time I can make it. And Christian?'

'Yes?'

'you haven't failed her. The fact that you're worried that you have means more than you know, and I'm saying this as a father and as your therapist. Now, I'll see you tomorrow, goodbye'

Christian swallowed and stood up, passing Ana in the hallway

'She's asleep, poor girl is exhausted and still fairly drunk, she'll be asleep for the rest of the night... I've asked your parents if they can keep Harry a few more days and they were more than happy'

Christian pulled Ana into him and held her close, kissing her hair lightly, his voice softening 'I've called John, he's here in the morning… I didn't know what else to do'

'Oh that's good, that's all we can do really. I'll ask George how Caleb is getting on tomorrow, at the moment there isn't a lot we can do but help her through physically and I guess we help her try and find some type of drive in life?'

Ana looked up at him and Christian kissed her gently on the forehead with a sigh 'you're right, as usual. I love you, and I couldn't do this without you'

Ana leant up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the lips lightly 'we're parents, we do this together. And I love you too'

Jess had managed to drag herself out of bed by 10AM and had changed into a clean pair of pyjamas for comfort, a pair of Calvin Klein pyjama trousers and a grey vest top, though she had taken one of Christian's zip up hoodies that was far too big for her but was incredibly comfortable.

Physically she felt awful but couldn't face eating anything; no matter how many times Gail and Christian tried to coax her to eat even just a little toast, but she refused, looking queasy.

John was at Escala by half ten and went into the dining room with Jess, closing the door so they were alone and they sat opposite on the long wooden table.

'Jess, can I just say I'm genuinely sorry for the situation you're in, how are you doing, physically?'

'I'm doing… better, thanks'

John nodded, linking his fingers together and looking pointedly at her over the table

'Good, I understand how hard the situation is for you. You are young and you had only just come around to the idea of having a second child, and then this happened. You understand that it's not your fault don't you?'.

Jess half nodded and John spoke again, voice more direct

'Jess, it wasn't your fault, nothing you could have done would have changed what happened, it was a horrible and unfortunate thing, but it's not your fault'

Jess glanced away and pulled her feet up onto the chair with her knees to her chest and bit the cuff of the jumper, her voice small

'Okay'

'Jess, look at me' She slowly looked up and John met her with a steely look 'Jess, it's not your fault, you cannot let yourself be brought down by your own fears and regrets, you will spend your life running from your own shadows and demons, you will spend your life beating yourself up over things you do not deserve nor were they your fault. Jess, it's – not- your- fault'

Jess swallowed and John watched closely as after a minute in silence she finally nodded, eyes watery and her voice barely audible

'I know… I know'

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