Last time on Thot Patrol Inaba (Chapter 3: Attack on Thots)...
"I dindu nuffin, officer!" Tohru protested as the policeman handcuffed him and threw him onto the ground. "We wuz kangz n shiet!"
After a long and arduous battle with the feminids, Tohru had finally been arrested for the crime of escaping prison. A fugitive no longer, the former police officer stewed away at his prison cell, waiting for yet another round of...
"How did you kill them!?"
"I threw them into the TV and left them to die."
"Bullshit! That's a superpower! And superpowers aren't real!"
"You know, I can just show you my powers right now if you allow me to stick my hand in that TV over there."
"No, that would make too much sense. And if you're looking for common sense, Inaba's the last town you'll ever want to visit! Also, I'm going to stick my head all the way up my asshole right now."
The officer proceeded to do just that.
...obviously, the details concerning his interrogation were a tad bit embellished in his mind. The prisoner sighed. The walls surrounding him felt like they were getting closer and closer with each passing minute he had been decaying in this hole.
That same claustrophobic feeling...
It was all over. He wasn't going to escape again, that was for sure.
It's all over, folks.
That's the end of the series.
I don't get why you're still reading this.
Don't you have anything better to do?
It is (or will be, depending on when you're reading this) Christmas.
You should spend it with your family or close friends or body pillows or that vague sense of emptiness you get when you realize that everything in life is virtually meaningless.
Not reading some stupid story made by someone who clearly has too much time on their hands.
Why are you still reading this?
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Go home.
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Suddenly, a light shined.
Tohru, momentarily blinded by the light, closed his eyes. In an instant, he was transported to an otherworldly room where everything was tinged by dark blue. Sitting at the table was a being whose features (bulging eyes, long nose, twig-like limbs) marked those of a puppet than that of an actual living, breathing human.
Nevertheless, before he had a chance to speak, the entity spoke (with an inhumanely deep voice).
"Welcome to my Velvet Room. I am Igor. We have been expecting you."
"What is it that you want?"
"It is not what I want. This Velvet Room has a will of its own. It senses that you have given up all hope, yet...your journey is far from over."
"What do you mean?"
"Listen, can you hear the voices?"
Tohru's ears perked upon hearing the faint sounds emanating from somewhere, yet he couldn't tell where.
"They are the voices of those whose bonds you've formed...through television."
The first one to speak was that of Tohru's cameraman.
"If it weren't for you, I would be dead. Or worse... I swear, sir, I'll follow you to the ends of the Earth!"
"Thanks, um..." What was his name again?
The next voice was that of someone he's never heard from before. It spoke with a boisterous laugh.
"I've traveled far and wide to find my sun. And your show comes pretty close. Maybe, next time, we can engage in some jolly cooperating. Praise the sun!"
The next voice sounded like it was being spoken by a computer.
"Triple K Mafia rep, Moonman, here to tell ya that your show brings me almost as much joy as killing nig-"
"Hello, I'm Adachi Tohru. This isn't yet another disembodied voice here to tell you how great you are. These are just your thoughts."
"Your...show...has touched those souls and many like them," stated Igor. "There is still much left for you to do."
Tohru shot out of his seat.
"You are right, my long-nosed companion! The show isn't over till I say it's over!"
Upon sporting his trademark sunglasses, a racecar somehow crashed through the prison wall, allowing for the ex-detective to make his daring escape. Igor watched as Tohru rode off into the sunset and sighed.
"You sure know how to pick 'em... Eh, Izanami?"