Tohru was walking down the street.
"Gee, I wonder what present master would like for her birthday."
Meanwhile, Tohru Adachi was walking down a different street.
"Gee, I wonder what whore I'm going to disrespect next."
Suddenly, a portal opened up. Walking out of the portal was Tohru Adachi. However, this one had a completely inverted color scheme. His hair and clothing were white, and his trademark tie was blue.
The other Tohru pointed at the man.
"Who are you, desu~?"
"Greetings, Adachi."
His voice boomed.
"Or I should say...me."
DUN, DUN, DUN!
"M-me, desu!?"
"Yes, I am also Adachi. To be specific, I am your counterpart from another dimension. Except in my dimension, I have nothing but love and respect for all women...unironically."
"AUDIBLE GASP!"
"My desire to respec wamen everywhere has allotted me the ability to traverse infinite dimensions as well as parallel universes. Eventually, my sights ended up setting on yours. However, what I saw did not please me in the slightest. Instead of buying every member of the female sex flowers and chocolates and telling them that they were beautiful merely for existing, you brutishly threw them into TVs and laughed at their suffering and torment. I could not abide by such blatant disregard and disrespect for wamen. And now, here I am, to right the wrongs you have committed, and to create a utopia in this dimension, like I've done for so many others, where all women get the respect that they so desperately deserve. Or else..."
The Anti-Adachi took a single step forward.
"But before I can do all that, I first have to deal with you..."
The other yawned.
"Yeah, may I apply a little critique for that plan of yours?"
"Enlighten me."
Swifter than a cowboy on cocaine, Tohru pulled out his pistol and shot the Anti-Adachi once in the chest, causing the other to tumble down.
"I don't think that plan of yours is exactly bulletproof."
"...oh, au contraire."
The Anti-Adachi floated up. Embedded in his chest was a single bullet shell. It fell down the exact moment his body positioned itself perpendicularly from the ground.
"I'm you, remember. I know all of your tricks. I've planned ahead of time for our fight."
"Ah, well..."
I'll Face Myself (Another Version) started playing in the background.
"I guess, deep down inside, I really respected women all alon-"
"Dude, I'm not your fucking shadow."
Record scratch.
"...ah, well... I guess. This means... Uhhhhhhhhh."
"However, my love for the perfect gender has given me, what one would call, 'powers beyond human imagination'."
The Anti-Adachi started glowing with a dangerously white aura.
"TASTE THE WRATH OF MY GYNOCENTRISM!"
Going faster than the speed of light, he punched Tohru in the face so hard that it propelled him through several skyscrapers. Like a ragdoll, Tohru clumsily crashed into an abandoned office building, creating clouds of debris and shattered cubicles in his wake. After a few seconds of laying on a pile of broken cubicles and office supplies, he leaned up and placed a palm on his head.
"Ouch, that thing nearly killed me."
He unbuttoned his shirt.
"Good thing I was wearing a bulletproof vest, or else I would've surely been a goner."
After taking off and throwing away the now-useless body armor, he stood up. Floating condescendingly opposite of the window Tohru had crashed through was the Anti-Adachi.
"You gonna come inside, buddy? Or are you expecting me to buy you dinner first?"
"I have to admit..."
The other casually landed on the office floor.
"You're a lot more durable than I first expected. But then again, you ARE me."
"You know it."
He got into a fighting stance.
"Now hows about we skip the pleasantries and I show you how we did it back at the police academy."
The other sighed.
"Very well..."
Faster than a speeding bullet, he sped around the Tohru, delivering punches and kicks along the way. Thinking he finally got him, Tohru grabbed at the Anti-Adachi, only to discover, to his horror, that it was just an after-image.
"Too slow," whispered the Anti-Adachi into Tohru's ear before delivering a kick to his back which propelled him into more cubicles. "To think that a filthy misogynist like you can even lay a hand on me. Preposterous!"
Urgh, he's too strong. I can't land a single hit on him. Is this it?
His vision grew dark.
...
...
...
...Adachi...
...ADACHI...
...
...
"WAKE UP, FAGGOT!"
"GAH!"
Tohru woke up.
"Grand Master P** M**."
"Useless Japanese bitch. If you can't disrespect a single woman, how do you expect to exterminate the entire world's thottery? Again!"
Tohru got back up. The training with his master usually consisted of him punching through printed pictures of Facebook profiles taped to cinder blocks (only hands of steel could decisively grab thots and throw them into TVs). At other times, he would have to grab flies with his chopsticks (only with unparalleled focus could he weed out the absolute worst). And at other, he would have to balance himself on bars (only with absolute balance could he continue his duties without ever slipping up).
After a year or so, his training was to be complete. At that time, he thought he would be celebrating with his master. However, what he found instead was his master lying on the ground and looking pale as a ghost.
"A-Adachi, is that you...?"
"Master, what happened?"
"Urgh, it was that prostitute I hired a while back. She had gonorrhea, and now I'm a goner-rhea."
Tears were streaming down the pupil's face.
"Snf, I fucking hate you."
"I know. Listen, I don't have much time left. I see much potential in you, my pupil. But I also see much hardship. Yes, you will eventually meet an opponent who knows all of your skills and tricks, but fights for the forces of evil. When that time comes, you must remember your training. Remember who you are..."
The Anti-Adachi stood over his lesser's unconscious body.
"Is that all you got? I can't say I'm disappointed...since this is exactly what I was expecting."
He lifted his arm, his intent to strike all too clear.
"Die."
"I don't think so."
A force propelled the Anti-Adachi back.
"WHAT!?"
Tohru got up. He was now glowing with an aura as well, but this one was black.
"That aura... No! Impossible!"
"It's bitches and whores like you that really piss me off."
"Even so..."
The Anti-Adachi's expression returned to its usual disguised smugness.
"I can sense that your power is far weaker than mine."
Tohru chuckled, making the Anti-Adachi wane a bit.
"What's so funny?"
"This is just a fraction of what I'm truly capable of. Allow me to show you an even more powerful form... AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Tohru's power increased tenfold.
"I-incredible."
"Oh, I'm not done yet."
Everything in the room, save for his opponent, had been repelled by his mere presence.
"This is just my second form. And this..."
The pressure manifested by Tohru began increasing even faster.
"...is to go further beyond! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The resulting earthquake could be felt throughout the world. Once Tohru had finished powering up, the entire building they were in was reduced to rubble. They were now both floating in mid-air.
"Well then. How do you like my third and final form?"
"I have to say... It really gets on my nerves just how much power one can get from hating women. But I can tell that, as we are now, we're both evenly matched."
"I agree."
"So how about we have our fight elsewhere. I feel like if we were to fight here, this entire city would collapse under the sheer weight of our anti- and pro-wamen energies."
"That valley over there seems like a good spot to host our final battle."
"Agreed."
(To be continued...)