Disclaimer: A simple application of reasoning would tell you that if I did in fact own Naruto, I would not be writing this story. Because really, what author would write fan fiction about his own work? But now that you mention it... *scurries off to find such authors*
[+] Within Interest [+]
Arc I: Inquisition
Umino Iruka loved his Home.
It was a place where he was free from the troublesome nuances that were the lovable brats he called his students, a place where he did not have to scream out his lungs to get people to listen to the things he wanted to say, a place where he could put on his nice bunny fur slippers without hearing any snickers from resident class clowns, and pick up a book to read without screeches from fangirls. It was the most relaxing place in the world, where he could, occasionally practice his Shurikenjutsu without getting snorts from over-achieving black-haired geniuses, and could likewise have freedom from the eccentricities of his superior commanding officers.
Home was truly a place to be.
It was for that reason, that when Iruka had tucked into his bed at night, switched off his lamp, and said goodnight to his collection of unique plushy dolls, he had expected nothing else more than utter silence and pure, unending tranquility.
"Psst! Iruka-sensei!"
Iruka's mellow eyes answered with a soft sigh. Of course, his subconscious would choose now of all times to mess with him and give him a dream about Naruto. Oh no, he wasn't going to let his mind win. He'd play along for now and see where this went.
"Yes Naruto?"
"Um… you mentioned recon and uh… information gathering… does that mean it's okay to spy on people in the village? Like say uh… Hokage-jiji?"
Iruka almost giggled. Like Naruto would actually have listened to what he said and then snuck into his house at two am to ask such a question. The dream was just too funny to be true.
"Sure Naruto… it's all part of being a good trap master… best to have as much information on everyone as you need."
"Thanks Iruka-sensei! You're the best!"
Naruto complementing him? Iruka did giggle this time around.
"Sure, sure. Don't forget to close the window on your way out."
"I will."
There was a shuffle of movement, and suddenly, the sound of his window pane closing reached the Chunin's ears.
It took him four seconds for his eyes to snap open as he realized that his dream had been far too realistic.
He turned to the window, finding the curtain drawn open, and then he shook his head as he rolled back into bed. It was too much of a hassle to go find the blond boy and tell him that it was probably not a good idea to try and spy on people in a shinobi village, but he figured the blond wouldn't get very far in his attempt anyway.
Besides, it was Naruto, what were the odds of him sneaking around the strongest shinobi in the entire village?
Observation.
The act or process of observing someone or something carefully in order to gain information. The process of observation was a tool which multiple shinobi relied upon in order to actively succeed in the field. One could even go as far as saying that it was the only thing that kept them alive, an unobservant shinobi was a dead shinobi, and that was a fact. Or at least, that used to be the way things were.
Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed as he walked into his office, feeling his legs which had seen the dust of three shinobi wars weaken, and he gazed upon his desk with a cornucopia of mixed feelings and emotions.
It was a shame, having come from another insufferable meeting made him realize just how much the shinobi world had changed. Back in the times of Warring Clans Era, shinobi were not necessarily the up and go supernatural fighters that they were today. No, then, they relied purely on stealth, subterfuge, and assassinations. Living in that era meant always looking up, even when outside in broad daylight and on a large grassy plain several kilometers in length. It meant being cautious about every puddle of mud that you passed or about every shadow that so much as seemed to be moving in a suspicious manner. It meant always making sure you switched your drink with another one before taking it, and abandoning any plate of food which your eyes had strayed away from even for the briefest of seconds. Failure to do any of these, would often end with one gracing upon the shining blade of the Shinigami, and wondering what had happened.
The Sandaime Hokage sat, taking a brief sigh as he stared out into the empty office, his table filled with various documents, some half-done, others waiting neatly to be signed, from important tasks like changing the ANBU patrol teams to utterly trivial requests like demanding for a subsidy for kunai traders. Trivial anyway, compared to other papers which had stamps from the Daimyo and contained sensitive materials which could and would easily incriminate Konoha for the mysterious 'disappearances' of many of the Daimyo's rivals.
The man shook his head, partially wondering when and why the days of shinobi had rapidly changed from being creatures of the night, to being flashy show-offs capable of setting forests on fire and utterly remodeling the landscape with their battles. In this era, the prominence of stealth and subterfuge had taken a nosedive, and every young child who entered the academy dreamed of making tsunamis and causing thunderstorms – it was only when reality came crashing down as many lacked the chakra capacity for such feats, did they eventually settle for more mediocre positions.
Alas, the Hokage stopped his musing, realizing that such thought were wasted on an old man like him anyway, it seemed that there was a new generation afloat, and soon enough he would become nothing but a relic. Shrugging, he ensured that there was none of his ANBU in his office, before allowing a small, somewhat excited smile to come up to his face as he stared at the bottommost drawer of his table.
He may not often appreciate his student's conduct when it dealt with women, but even he could not deny that the man wrote some very… interesting materials.
He reached for the drawer, and slowly, but surely, he pulled it open, his perverted grin widening slightly.
If asked about the event later on, Hiruzen Sarutobi would deny ever being surprised, however, it did not mean that he was not surprised, as his eyes widened to levels that would cause even Dojutsu wielders like the Hyuga to feel uncomfortable, as the drawer opened, and consequently, his face was filled with the cold, but not entirely unpleasant texture of what he instantly recognized as a banana cream pie.
He stared, ludicrous, as the plate of pie slid off his face, and landed onto the ground with a slow, methodic thump, and it just so happened, that the loud sound triggered the ANBU agents outside who burst in, eyes searching for any intruder.
The two agents, paused, staring at their Hokage, and though Hiruzen could most definitely not see through their porcelain masks, he was certain that they were doing everything possible not to show their mirth.
It wasn't every day you saw the Hokage's face plastered with pie.
"Are you two going to stand there and stare at me or would you like to taste the Hokage's pie?"
His words seemed to jar them, and it was almost like he was daring them to laugh. Yes… laugh at the man who could demote you to a Genin and make you spend the rest of your entire military career scooping dog poop… go on, laugh.
Thankfully, they had more common sense than that, and the female ANBU, Codenamed Neko, had the decency of handing him a fresh towel.
The Old Man cleaned the cake from his face with the towel, before placing it down, his eyes doing their best to refuse twitching in annoyance. There was one person who would actually have the gall, the means, and the motive to think about pranking him, and though somehow he had never been the target of his pranks, Sarutobi Hiruzen was going to make it clear that one does not simply shove pie in the Hokage's face and get away with it.
"Bring me Uzumaki Naruto."
"Hai Hokage-sama."
His ANBU vanished with the familiar gust of wind that indicated the Shunshin Technique, and the Sandaime Hokage let himself sit back with a sigh. He had never had to truly berate or reprimand Naruto for anything before, but there were some lines that could not be crossed. The mere fact of breaking into his office to –
Hiruzen blinked.
How had the pranking menace entered his office to set up the pie in the first place? It was impossible to do so from the back windows, they were firmly locked and had been so for a while. There was no way his secretary would have let him in, let alone the entire Chunin workstation that aided in organizing Missions.
He opened up the drawer once more, staring at the contraption that was within it which had aided in launching the pie. A weak string, with some sort of makeshift pulley device attached to the handle, along with a large metal spring. The sting would activate the pulley when he opened the drawer, and the pulley would in turn fire the string.
The Hokage wasn't stupid. There was a creeping chill that came upon him once he realized how easily it would have been to substitute the pie for a kunai, or the trap for a loaded crossbow, and he would be dead.
Hiruzen took in a deep breath, finding his pipe idly laying on the table, before reaching for it, stuffing it with the required fuel and putting it to his lips, igniting it with a small fire technique, and letting the acrid taste of the smoke permeate his tongue, before he blew it into the air and leaned back into his chair.
They were in a time of relative peace granted, and no one would be able to maintain their sanity for too long if they acted as though every single thing and every single one was out to get them, whilst even in the comfort of their own village, and comfort of their own office, but had he truly become that lax?
It seemed he would need to start training again.
The office was filled with a brief poof of smoke, and the familiar blond menace known as Uzumaki Naruto appeared before him, grinning like a maniac as he was held by two ANBU agents.
Sarutobi steeled his features.
"Naruto – "
Whatever he was about to say was cut in half by the boy's boisterous shout.
"About time jiji! You ended your meeting way later than normal today! I almost thought the prank failed!"
Hiruzen was able to dissect the boy's sentences, and the semantic meanings he attained from them being heavier than the words themselves. In reverse order, Naruto was outright admitting that the prank was his, then, he was admitting to possessing prior knowledge about the fact that he was in a meeting, and lastly, he was anticipating being called to the office.
Hiruzen stopped whatever he was going to say, his steeled features softening for a bit as he shook his head.
"Why did you put the pie in my drawer Naruto-kun?"
The boy smiled as though what he did was not an action that would get people executed in other villages.
"I wanted to see you!"
Hiruzen blinked. "You wanted to see me?"
Naruto nodded.
Hiruzen looked at the two ANBU, giving them the signal that they could leave, and they vanished in a puff of smoke that left stars in Naruto's eyes.
"Cool! Jiji, can you teach me how to do that?"
Hiruzen shook his head. "Later Naruto, for now, explain yourself. If you wanted to see me you could simply just walk in and ask."
Naruto gave an exasperated groan.
"I did try it Jiji! I usually come by whenever you're not in a meeting, but all I get is," he increased the pitch of his voice to an eerily close resemblance of that of his female secretary "'You can't see the Hokage without booking an appointment' or 'Hokage-sama isn't here right now' or 'Hokage-sama is currently resting,' or 'Shouldn't you be in the academy right now,' and all that junk!"
Hiruzen allowed a small smile to come up to his face. "It cannot be helped Naruto-kun, being the Hokage is an extremely time-taking endeavor."
Naruto rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, sighing. "Hai, I know jiji, you told me that the last time you visited me."
The Sandaime was about to ask 'I did?', but he was stopped by the stab of guilt which caught him.
He couldn't even remember the last time he had visited the young boy's apartment, but he knew for a fact that it hadn't been in months at the very best and years at worst. Even on the boy's birthdays, he always found himself too occupied to so much as drop in for a visit… hells, he couldn't even remember the last time he gave him a birthday present.
It wasn't exactly neglect, as the heaven knew that he had done his best where the boy was concerned, though, it was not enough. Sometimes the man wondered why Naruto looked up to him with such respect and reverie, heaven knew that he was undeserving of it.
He coughed into his hand, searching for a way to dissect the topic. "What else did I tell you?"
"Huh?" the blond seemed to stall at the odd question, before scratching his chin "Well… you told me to clean up my apartment, and that one of the steps to being Hokage is being neat and organized."
He smiled. "I suppose that is true. It's one of those things you'll have to build up over the years –"
"What d'ya mean? I'm neat! And organized!"
The Hokage's eyes crinkled in mirth. "Really?"
"Hell yeah! My apartment floor is so shiny I could eat ramen off it!" he gave a grin before pausing "The only reason I don't is because ramen is too divine to touch the floor."
The Hokage let out a small chuckle. He however, had not lost sight of the numerous questions that were in his head.
"Naruto-kun, how did you know I was in a meeting?"
"Huh?" the ramen addict squinted his eyes in a manner that made him look as though he was a fox "Everyone knows when you're in a meeting."
No, no they did not. Knowing when the Hokage was and was not in his office was sensitive information, as it would be very easy for an enemy shinobi to utilize that information for a trap, just as Naruto had utilized the information to stage his prank.
"Just humor me Naruto-kun."
The blond scratched his cheeks before shrugging. "I used to visit the tower almost every day jiji. Whenever you're out, you can always see the Chunin guys at the front desk lounging off, and when I meet your secretary, she says you're not in or 'unavailable'. When you're here, the front desk guys get all super-Chunin and serious with their work and stuff, and your secretary either says you're tired, or I have to book an appointment."
Hiruzen's lips thinned, and he made a mental note to question his secretary later, as well as to schedule some impromptu arrivals for his Chunin.
It was a theory, but he just felt the need to confirm it.
"Naruto-kun, on Thursdays at twelve, what would I be doing?"
The blond looked at him. "Huh? Well, I guess you'd be out till around three."
Hiruzen's breath stilled. "And Saturdays, at that time?"
Naruto's nose upturned in the air. "You'd either go out for lunch or order for some take-out. You never order Ichiraku Ramen though and that sucks jiji. It's always either fish balls or onigiri –"
He could feel his heart beat rise. "H-how" he calmed himself, clearing his throat as his voice became more leveled. "Naruto-kun, did you know what I usually order?"
Naruto frowned. "Cause I usually see the Chunin who come back in with the takeout."
"What makes you believe that the takeout was mine?"
Naruto scratched his chin. "It's kinda weird and wrong for Chunin to buy takeout and bring it back to the tower and eat it here… when they coulda just used the time spent to buy takeout to ya know, eat out?"
Hiruzen slowly nodded. "Yes… that's true."
Hiruzen watched as the resident prankster seemed to stare at him with something in his eyes akin to recognition and curiosity, and if the Hokage did not know better, he would claim that the boy's eyes gained a certain level of depth and focus to them, resonating brilliantly in a manner that he had only ever seen from geniuses the likes of Namikaze Minato, Uchiha Itachi and most frighteningly, Orochimaru.
Then as soon as it appeared, it was gone, and the blond boy squinted his eyes, crossed his arms behind his head and pouted. "Oi, what's up jiji? I mean, everyone notices these things and it's no big deal right?"
The Sandaime simply stared at him, snapping out of his bizarre trance as he realized, that clearly the young boy did not realize memorizing the Hokage's Schedule was in fact, a very big deal. That was not even counting, knowing what the Hokage would eat.
Slowly, stirring deep within him, Hiruzen Sarutobi found himself reinvigorated, as that spark, the display of what he had thought long lost in the ways of shinobi, keen observation, had seemingly been brought out in full force, in the most unexpected and unlikely of persons.
Hiruzen shook his head. He had established that Naruto knew his schedule like he knew the back of his hand, which was unexpected, but not overwhelming impossible. Human beings were creatures of habit and pattern, you did things at expected and designated times, and most people had a routine that they followed everyday – wake up at a certain time, train at a certain time, eat at a certain time – which could not just be abandoned otherwise one's life would be in utter disarray.
What Hiruzen could not for the life of him figure out was how Naruto had entered his office in the first place. A question he did not hesitate to ask.
"Oh! That's simple, I Henged into a broomstick and let the cleaners carry me in this morning."
Hiruzen's eyebrows rose greatly. "Naruto-kun, that is not how the Transformation technique works."
Naruto's eyes squinted. "Nani?"
"The Henge is a weaker class Genjutsu and all it does is allow you to apply an illusionary layer over yourself that merely looks like a different thing." The Hokage picked up his pipe, letting himself drag from it. "If the Henge was a solid transformation, every shinobi with access to it would use it to grant themselves shape-shifter abilities like turning their hands into swords."
Naruto's eyes gleamed, and Hiruzen regretted his utterance upon noticing the look in the resident prankster's eyes which practically yelled 'Challenge Accepted'. "Henge!"
Hiruzen could only let his pipe fall from his lips as he watched a single, one-edged, ANBU-edition katana appear in front of him with a burst of smoke, eliminating the boy in its place.
The Hokage moved rose up, feeling his ankles groan slightly as he reached the blade, grabbing it, and actually swinging it around like it was an actual sword. He put his hand to the edge and actually watched as a small trail of blood emerged from the cut.
"Amazing."
He placed the sword down and it transformed back into the blond, who was grinning with an "I-told-you-so" expression on his face.
"You're oversaturating the technique with chakra."
"Over-what?"
"You have very large chakra reserves Naruto, as a result, you're oversaturating your techniques."
His tone took on one which befitted his title as 'The Professor' "Fundamentally, when you oversaturate a technique like say, a fireball, all you would get would be a roaring wildfire, and likewise when you oversaturate something like a water gun, you would get a tsunami. Of course, this lack of control and precision is expected with elemental techniques, but the Henge isn't an Elemental Jutsu. Hence, all the excess chakra had nowhere else to go but back into the technique, granting the illusion tangibility and giving you the properties of whatever you transformed into, though I highly doubt it grants you the same durability."
Hiruzen finished, expecting to find Naruto either looking at him with awestruck eyes, or with orbs clearly lost in confusion, but instead, what he found was that same focused look again, one that seemed to wield a surprising amount and made his orbs look like the view of the ocean from across a horizon.
"But… then why can't I make a single stupid Bunshin! Shouldn't I be making like thousands of them instead?"
"You are having problems with the Bunshin technique? That's the first I've heard of this."
"The stupid thing is the reason I failed the graduation exam!"
Hiruzen rubbed his beard as his eyes slowly closed in contemplation. "Show me."
He watched as Naruto moved into the familiar seal, feeling the massive build up of chakra before the room was engulfed in smoke. "Bunshin!"
Once the smoke cleared, Hiruzen spotted four pale, lifeless facsimiles surrounding the boy, none of which would be capable of fooling infants for even a split second.
"I see. The technique requires less chakra, and oversaturating it causes it to lose its effectiveness as the illusions have more chakra than they actively need to function. Think of it as having more blood in your body than your heart can properly pump and process; you will not pop immediately, but you certainly will not operate at normal capacity."
Naruto frowned, staring at the man. "So how do I fix it?"
The Hokage rubbed his chin. "Simple. You simply need to utilize better Chakra Control exercises. The greater the control of chakra you have, the less likely you are to oversaturate your techniques."
He walked over to the wall, where portraits of Hokages past hung, and moved aside his own portrait to reveal a safe within it. He turned the dial, the numbers still clear in his head before swinging it open.
He began searching, pulling from within it several files before he eventually found one dusty, extremely faded looking sealing scroll. He looked at the scroll, contemplating it for a few seconds, the memories which the scroll possessed and their sheer nostalgic value for a brief moment, seemed to overwhelm the pragmatic use of handing it to the boy and passing on of knowledge to the future generation.
Shaking his head, he eventually handed over the scroll to Naruto. The boy seemed smart enough to be able to work with it, and he wasn't a shinobi just yet, merely an academy student.
"Huh?"
"That, Naruto-kun, contains what I used to teach my pupils, several years ago. From different jottings and notes, to the very basics of chakra control, all of it, is yours to peruse."
Naruto stared at him with wide eyes.
"Y-you're giving me this? I-I don't know what to say jiji, no one's ever given me anything like this before…"
Hiruzen's heart clenched. "Well Naruto-kun, consider it a gift from me to you. Once you graduate from the Academy and become a Genin, feel free to come by and I just might teach you a jutsu or two."
"Really?!"
He winked at him. "I am called the Professor, Naruto-kun. I think it would only be fitting for me to 'profess' as much knowledge as I can."
He did not quite anticipate the hug from the young boy as he tackled his leg, before letting out a melancholic smile as he patted his head.
"Thanks jiji! You're the best!"
"Think nothing of it." Hiruzen said, as Naruto detatched himself from him.
"So Naruto-kun, why exactly did you want to see me that would make you resort to trapping pies in my office?"
Naruto tilted his head in seeming confusion. "I just wanted to see you… do I need a reason to want to see you?"
Hiruzen opened his mouth, and then he closed it, a warm feeling entering him that he had long since forgotten.
"No."
The Hokage smiled.
"I suppose you don't."