Okay I've been kinda excited to post this one for a while but I didn't want to get out of order and confuse myself on which ones I've posted and which I haven't. I hope you guys like it as much as I do.
One Thing I Have Left - Hawk Nelson
He had to wear a uniform every day. He had to work where he was told, every day. He had to follow the appropriate subjects for conversation every day. He had to live in the house that was exactly like every other house in the city, that was decorated like every other house. He had to dye his hair because it was too bright, too different, and it made him stand out. He had to wear contacts because his eyes were too bright, too vibrant, every day. His mother had wanted to name him Axel, but had to settle for Lea because Axel was too different, was too unique, was too… rebellious. And rebellion was something that was avoided at all cost.
But rebellion was exactly what Axel – he refused to think of himself as Lea – wanted. He was sick of this life where everything was decided for him. He was sick of not being able to chose where he worked, not being able to chose where he lived, what he wore, how his home was decorated, what he looked like.
Axel was turning 21 in a month; a birthday he had been dreading for several years. 21 was the marriage age for men. In one month he would receive a notice to come to city hall to meet the woman they had chosen as his wife. Unlike men, who were married at the age of 21, never older, never younger, women could be married anytime between 16 and 25. If they hadn't found a suitable husband for a woman by her 25 birthday, she would become a surrogate mother for women who were unable to have children of their own; doomed to be used by several different men solely for sex in the sake of reproduction, but never allowed to marry because of this, and forced to give away her own children to the woman who's husband she had been forced to sleep with. Her only chance to have a child of her own is if a couple should booth die and leave their children behind.
Axel figured at this very moment someone was going over his profile and comparing it to countless woman in the appropriate age group, looking for someone that together with him would create a more perfect child, and – he figured – would be able to overwhelm his crazy hair color with DNA for something more… normal.
Axel hated the idea. He already knew who he wanted, he already knew who he loved and wanted to spend the rest of his life with. But it would never be allowed, even if Roxas had been born a woman.
Roxas – like Axel – was not the boy's real name. His real name was Adam, but he hated that name, and when Axel had finally told him how he would rather be called Axel rather than Lea, Roxas decided he wanted to be called something else as well. Roxas was Axel's best friend. He was a year younger than Axel, but he was brilliant and had skipped a grade in school in elementary, putting him in the same class as Axel. His first day in the new class, he had no one to turn to; he was no longer able to rely on his twin, Spencer – who decided he preferred to be called Sora – and sat by himself in a corner. Axel was outgoing and could make friends with anyone and so he sat himself down next to Roxas and they quickly became as inseparable as Roxas was with Sora.
Somewhere in middle school they decided that they didn't want to constantly live the life laid out for them; they wanted to be themselves at least some of the time. They would hang out in Axel's bedroom and talk about whatever they felt like. That was when Axel decided he didn't want to always be called Lea, that he wanted Roxas to call him Axel, like his mother had wanted to name him. Together they came up with a new name for Roxas as well, something much better than Adam. They spent every afternoon holed up in Axel's room talking and being themselves for several months like that, until one day they had to go to Roxas' home instead. That was the day Sora joined in, who quickly brought his best friend, Richard – who decided he wanted to be called Riku – into the group as well. By the time high school came around, they had a small group of friends that each just wanted to be themselves for a short time every day. There was Demyx, who wanted to play music; he wanted to learn the guitar and some foreign stringed instrument he read about called a sitar, instead of the violin that was chosen for him. Zexion just wanted to read and learn all that he could; he wanted to learn all the world had to offer, not just what the politicians had decided was appropriate for the citizens to know. Marluxia wanted to grow and sell flowers of all shapes and sizes and colors, but flowers were deemed pointless years ago and the only plants people were allowed to grow were fruits and vegetables, and only those that were chosen for that career. Larxene wanted to work with electricity, but that was a man's job, and she instead would be expected to cook, or work with children, or other womanly things.
Axel could remember their talks in middle school; how they were convinced they could change everything if they only stood up for themselves and demanded change. Zexion at some point had gotten his hands on a book; it was filled with stories of war, of revolution, of change. At the time they thought it was real; they thought there really had been a time when a group of people had separated themselves from their government and started new, with the people in charge. They thought there really were people who had overthrown their leaders, had really killed them all and started over. They thought there really were people who had attacked their own royal family, had killed children in order to assure no one could take claim of their country again. But at some point in high school they each came to realize that even if those were true stories, they were a group of kids, what could they possibly do?
It was 11th grade when he fell in love with Roxas. It was a cool autumn evening and they had snuck up to the rooftop of Axel's home – which they later had to be grounded for – and they were watching the sunset over the expanse of cookie cutter homes that made up their town. For the most part they were quiet, just watching the sun creep down the sky, until Roxas broke the silence, his smooth tenor like music to Axel's ear. "Sometimes I think they want to copy the sun." Roxas didn't have to explain who "they" were; both of them knew who he meant.
"What do you mean?" Axel's voice was quiet, self conscious of his rough voice next to Roxas' smooth one.
"The sun is the same every day. It rises in the morning, travels across the sky through the day, and sets in the evening. Same thing, every day. And even though it is the same every day, the sunrise and sunset are still beautiful things no matter how many you see." Roxas explained, never taking his blue eyes off the sun. He had taken his contacts out, which were a dull gray blue, not unlike the gray green ones Axel was forced to wear when they weren't alone with their friends, so now his blue eyes were bright and vibrant the way they were meant to be. "I think they thought we could be like the sun. That we could all do the same thing, every day, we could all look the same, but it would be okay because we were beautiful.
"But they forget that even the sun changes. Every day it rises at a different time, takes a different path and a different amount of time to cross the sky, and it sets at a different time. It changes. And the sun is not exactly the same as all the other stars that are out there. Each one is a different size, a different temperature, has a different pattern, and may even be a different color. They are different because nothing can be the same. Every, plant, animal, and speck of dust is different. The world is made of differences so how can they think that we, the supposed rulers of this world, can possibly be all the same?"
Axel had never taken his eyes off of Roxas through his entire impromptu speech. Roxas was not always a big talker. He would usually sit back and let Sora or Axel do most of the talking, so sometimes Axel forgot just how brilliant and observant Roxas truly was. Watching Roxas, beautiful Roxas with bright blue eyes and an innocent face, analyze their society so simply blew Axel's mind, and as he watch the changing light reflect off Roxas' face, he realized that Roxas was no longer just a friend to him. He was in love.
They had to be very careful in order to be together. Not only were relationships outside of marriage illegal because of their marriage system, gay relationships were about 10 times worse. It was "unnatural" and "wrong" they had been told from a rather young age, but Axel and Roxas figured they were already unnatural – with Axel's fire red hair and sour apple eyes, and Roxas' electric blue – and wrong – they already broke so many rules in their years as friends – enough that one more thing didn't matter. They didn't even tell their friends for a while, but after a few months Roxas found he couldn't keep this a secret from his twin any longer. They were all accepting of the two being a couple and always made sure there was an empty seat to one side of the two in case someone barged in on their group so Roxas could quickly slip off Axel's lap and into the empty seat.
After they graduated from high school it got harder for them to get together. Axel, Larxene, Sora, Demyx, and Marluxia had all entered straight into the work force, each with a different job that supposedly suited their certain skills. Zexion, Riku, and Roxas though, were each chosen to continue their education for a career that required extra learning. They were all on different schedules and were only able to get together on Sunday's, which was everyone day off – except once a month when they were required to visit their parents for the day. Axel and Roxas were able to find a couple other times through the week to get together, but it was increasingly harder to get away with it. Axel knew when a wife was finally chosen for him and he was forced to get married, it would be next to impossible for he and Roxas to get together in secret.
Crossing the street on his way home from work he scowled at the huge plasma screens that were mounted on every building, projecting propaganda. "Uniformity is happiness." "The Unity knows best." "The Unity cares about you." "The Unity wants what is best for all its children." The crap they spewed at the citizens of this glorious town disgusted Axel. He knew they didn't really care about the people they called their "children". They just wanted to control them. He knew that one wrong move would land you in jail, and most likely put to death for rebellion or disrupting the peace, or some other crap like that. It all made Axel's skin crawl, and his standard uniform make his skin itch. He was pretty sure he had developed some sort of allergy towards all this uniformity that was forced on him.
He was getting home later than usual that night, and unfortunately it was a night he normally got to see Roxas. All because his stupid boss wanted to talk about how "unsatisfactory" his work ethic has been. He hated it. They put unrealistic expectations on everyone and expected them to exceed them every time. It was insane. Axel chose to do the bare minimum. What could they really do to him? He was guaranteed a home and utilities and food unless he broke a law. Unsatisfactory work was not breaking a law. He figured the worst that could happen is he gets demoted to some even crappier job than fixing up the cream of the crop's cars. And it's not like that would change his work ethic. If anything, it would make it worse.
Axel trudged through his front door. After high school, like every other man, he was moved into a home of his own. Standard 4 bedroom, 3 bath with a full kitchen, dinning room, living room, study, and basement that was half gym, half den. Once he was married, his new wife would move out of her parents home to live with him and they could start their own family. He dreaded that day.
The next day he found himself in his mother's kitchen again while she made the two of them breakfast. His father had died from an unknown illness years ago, which was why he had no siblings. His mother was very similar to him: tall and slender, with dark red hair that she was forced to dye to a plain brown, with stormy gray green eyes that his stupid contacts were a poor replica of. But their biggest similarity came in the form of rebellion. She hated their society as much as he did. She decided to call him Axel when they were alone, the same way his friends did; she hadn't when he very young because his father disapproved, but after his death she began to call him by the name she always wanted him to have.
"How is Roxas?" She had a rougher voice, not unlike Axel's; and while she was always polite and kind, there was always an undertone of rebellion to her voice. Like at any moment she might start spewing a reformation speech or a string of profanities the likeness of which no one had heard in years. Axel had told her all about his relationship with Roxas and the things he and his friends talked about behind closed doors a few years ago after a particularly furious conversation they had where she talked down their government quite a lot. She was happy to hear he was trying to make his life happy despite the constraint that was put on them all.
"He's doing well." Axel replied with a slight sigh. "They got him pretty busy at school. He's the star student of his program." Axel explained with an undertone of resentment, knowing that the schoolwork they had Roxas doing was one of the reasons he only got to see Roxas once or twice a week and only for an hour at a time recently.
His mother frowned slightly as she turned from the stove, bringing the pot of fruit sauce over to the table for them to pour over the waffles she had made. "Your birthday is in only a month now."
Axel hand faltered as he brought a waffle to his plate. "Don't remind me." He scowled.
She sighed and shook her head. "I know you don't want to marry some random woman, but there isn't anything you can do about that. Besides, there are some things to look forward to about it. I can't wait to see a little Axel running around." She smiled at the thought.
Axel scowled. He didn't particularly like children and he figured if he couldn't raise them with Roxas, he didn't want to raise them at all. "I'm so sick of thinking there is nothing I can do. What is the point of life if I can't be happy?"
"Oh sweetheart, we just have to be happy with what we have. We have to be thankful for the things we do have, and the happiness we do have." Here was where she and Axel greatly differed. She was content to deal with the crap their government put them through and find happiness where she could. It didn't matter how much she disagreed with what they thought; she didn't think there was anything they could do about it and so was content to find happiness where she could. But Axel was growing sick of taking all the crap that was put on him and his friends. He was pretty sure once he had a wife he was expected to go home to each night, was expect to sleep with, that he would no longer be able to see Roxas alone, at least for not any measurable amount of time. And what was life if it wasn't filled with his love?
It was in that moment, sitting at his mothers table, in a kitchen that was identical to the one in his own home, and every other home in the town, eating waffles slathered in a berry syrup, he decided that it was time something was done about all this crap. He was pretty sure his friends, or at least Roxas, would agree. Something had to be done.
In the end it was only Roxas, Sora, and Riku that agreed to do something with him. Larxene had recently found out she was pregnant and refused to risk an unborn child for her own possible happiness. Marluxia was working in the greenhouses breeding plants –whatever that meant – and he really was enjoying his life at the moment. Demyx had been chosen to be a music teacher and was currently back in school to learn many different instruments – he was practically floating on a cloud. Zexion had been given access to the entire library at city hall and believed they needed more information on previous rebellions before they started their own, but Axel couldn't go on like this anymore. He had to do something now.
The four of them had gotten together that next Sunday and discussed what they needed to do and by the end of it they knew there were two possible outcomes. The first, and preferable, outcome would be that the people all agreed with what they had to say and would rise up along side them and fight back against the government together. But that was barely more than a hopeful dream. People, even if they did agree, would be afraid. They would be afraid of what would happen to them, what would happen if they let their opinions be know, and would be afraid they were the only other ones to agree and think they didn't stand a chance. They knew the second option would most likely happen.
They knew they would probably not get any feedback from the people. They would probably be quickly taken down by the police and killed for their insolence. But it had to be done. Someone had to take the first step. Someone had to plant the idea in the minds of all those people. And Axel was afraid that no one else would have the guts to do it, and he knew that even if someone did, he didn't have the willpower to wait around for them anymore. He didn't want to be forced into marriage with some random woman. He would much rather die knowing Roxas was the only person for him.
They planned to make their scene the next Sunday, a week before Axel's 21 birthday. That Saturday night, Roxas snuck out of his home in the middle of the night and over to Axel's home. They wanted to spend their last night together, and know that their last night was the best of their whole life. It was a night that they would sacrifice themselves for other people to have some day.
Riku was one of the technicians in charge of the plasma screens on the sides of the buildings on each street in the city, and he was able to set it up that the regular program of propaganda would cut off in order to broadcast their speech in the center of town. Just as Axel stepped up onto the stage with a microphone set up in the middle that was meant for police and politicians to make public announcements at, every screen in the city changed to show Axel, Roxas, Riku, and Sora.
For a moment none of them moved, each unsure of what to say. Just when Axel was about to reach out and grab the mic and say something, Roxas reached over and grabbed it.
"Everyone! Listen! This is very important!" Roxas quickly said to grab everyone attention. Unfortunately he also grabbed the attention of the police officers stationed around the town center. They looked up, but made no move to intervene, yet, but Roxas and Axel both knew that once he started talking about rebellion and revolution, they would be all over them. He needed to talk fast.
"You're all being brainwashed." He started. "The "Unity" doesn't care about us. They just want us to be mindless minions for them. They want us to lose all individuality and simply become a single being. They don't care about our happiness. In fact, they would much rather take it away because being happy about something is being different from the next person. And as far as they are concerned, being different is bad." The officers and begun to move towards them the minute Roxas got the first sentence out of his mouth. They needed to stop this now, but Roxas planned to get out as much as possible.
"I'm sick of having to be like every other person. I'm not happy this way! I don't see how anyone could be happy this way. I'm sick of living a life laid out for me. I want to do what I want. I want to marry who I love. Not someone who has been picked out for me. I want to do a job that I love. I can't live a life that is empty any longer, and neither can my friends here. We decided that it's time someone take a stand and point out all that is wrong with this government." He spat, gesturing towards Axel and Sora and Riku who each nodded and let out shouts of rebellion in some way or another. "I can see the police coming towards us now. They don't want us to say these things, they don't want us to think for ourselves. They want us to be mindless zombies that just do whatever they want, but I refuse to do that any longer. My friend and I know that we probably aren't going to survive the night for the things we have come here to say, but it had to be said. Someone had to take the first step. And you know, I don't care what they do to me anymore. They can take everything from me; take the house, the job, the car, every possession I own. I don't care. They can beat me to a pulp and take away the beating in my chest, but they can't take away who I am inside. They have no right to. And they have no right to take it away from all of you. But they are doing a pretty damn good job of it and it's time you take back who you all are!"
By this time the officers had reached the stage they were on and were grabbing at Roxas. Axel quickly tugged the blond back to him and wrapped his arms around his tiny frame. "Come on people! Are you really going to stand by and watch us get struck down for standing up for ourselves?" Axel angrily growled into the mic. Everyone in the area was watching and listening to what Roxas had said, but no one had moved a muscle except when they were pushed out of the way by an officer. As the officers closed in on Axel and Roxas, Sora snagged the mic from his grip.
"Last night was the greatest night of my life, and I probably broke a dozen laws in order to have it. I got to sleep with the man I love, to spend the whole night with him. I was happy like I have never been before, like I could never be with anyone else. Happiness isn't wrong! Difference isn't wrong!" Some of the officers that had been on Axel and Roxas, restraining them after tearing them apart from each other, now moved to grab at Sora, and Riku did the same thing Axel had done.
"Everything in our world is different, so how can we possibly think we can all be the same? We strive on difference and individuality. We are being killed by uniformity. It's time to take the step and save ourselves. Save yourself!" Riku practically roared into the mic as Sora was wrenched from his arms.
They each continued to yell into the crowd as they were held down by the officers. They had to get these people to react, to do something. But the people simply continued to stare, mixed looks of confusion, pity, contempt, and anger on their faces. As Axel was pinned down by one officer he saw the other pull something out of his belt to his right. He knew without really seeing it that it was a gun. Fear bloomed in his chest, and horror that the officers would be willing to kill them there in front of all these people. But then he thought that it might be exactly what they needed. It might be a fatal mistake on the officers part. It might be the breaking point of these people and will them to do something, if not for the people on the stage than at least for themselves. As he heard the officer ready the gun beside him he turned to face Roxas, another officer stood over him with a gun in hand.
"I'm sorry Roxas."
The blond shook his head as best he could with it being held down and pushed into the wood of the stage floor. "It's not your fault Axel. It's their fault. We are the victims here. We're doing what is right." He paused for a moment. "I love you."
"I love you too. I always have." Axel could hear the gun click behind him. "Let's meet in the next life. Maybe we can be together for real there." He smiled sadly.
"I'll be waiting."
The last thing Axel saw was a tear fall from those beautiful blue eyes, and he was glad Roxas had chosen not to wear his contacts that day. The last thing he heard was the sound of a gunshot.
I'm horrible with names so I just gave them the first things that came to mind when I needed to give them more "normal" names. Anyways, I hope you liked this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I know there are a lot of stories set in a world like this one, but I can't remember ever reading one about the people that start the rebellion, the people that don't make it. It's always about the hero that leads the people in rebellion and into freedom. So I wanted to look at it a little differently.