So this is a sequel of sorts to We Didn't Start the Fire because I really like the idea of Axel and Roxas adopting a baby Xion... Also, I am bad and awkward around children so I have very little idea of what a 2 year old acts like, so if something is wrong about the way Xion acts or talks, I'm sorry. I kinda hate kids.
Lullaby by the Spill Canvas
She was perfect.
At least, that's what Axel and Roxas thought. Almost exactly a month after they were approved for adoption, they got to meet Xion in person. She was a tiny little thing, with huge blue eyes and short raven black hair. Axel took to her like a duck to water, but it was a little harder for Roxas.
When they entered the room she was staying in, the girl's social worker behind them, she was instantly interested in Axel. And who wouldn't be with the way he towered over most people and the long bright red hair? Leaving her toys behind she shyly walked over to where Axel stood and looked up, and up, and up at him. She glanced over to her social worker as if confirming these new people were safe and good people, before holding her arms up without a word, asking to be picked up. Axel chuckled softly before leaning down to effortlessly pick her up. She grabbed on to one of the chunks of red hair that fell over Axel's shoulder, softly running her tiny fingers through it.
"You're really tall, mister." She finally said, her voice small and a little squeaky.
Axel faked a pout. "Maybe you're just really short."
"I am short; I'm only two!" She laughed.
"Well maybe when you get to be my age you will be as tall as I am, you never know." Axel told her.
"You must be really old then."
Axel made an indignant sound and gave her an insulted look. "I am not old. I'm only 28."
For the first time she looked over to Roxas, "If he's 28 and that tall, then you must be like twelve!"
Axel laughed while Roxas silently pouted. "Hey now, Roxas is only two years younger than me." He explained before adding in a stage whisper like Roxas wouldn't be able to hear it, "He didn't drink his milk and eat his veggies when he was still growing and now look at him." They all laughed for a moment, Xion's a bright and cheery sound, before silence came back and invited Xion to question more.
"Are you here to be my new daddy?" She asked innocently.
Axel smiled softly. "I would very much like that. Roxas too."
She looked between the two of them confused for a moment. "But how can you both be my dad? Who would be my mom?"
"Well," Axel started, a small sad smile on his face, "If you come with us you won't have a mom." He explained. "But you will have two dad's that care about you just as much as any mom could."
"But isn't it supposed to be a mommy and daddy that love each other?" Xion looked very confused by all of this, but Axel seemed to know just what to say.
"Love comes in many forms, Xion. Roxas and I love each other like a mommy and daddy would. The only difference is we would both be dads. Love can be between any two people, no matter if they are a girl and a boy, or two boys, or two girls. Love is love." He smiled down at the little girl who seemed to be trying to figure all of this out for herself.
"Do you love me?" She asked, her voice almost too quiet to hear, a pink blush on her face giving away her nerves.
Axel smiled warmly. "Love takes a while to form. It has to be taken care of so it can grow, just like a kid like you." He lightly poked her side making her giggle a little. "But I can already tell that it won't be hard to love you. Roxas and I will both love you very much."
"How long are we talkin' here?" She giggled.
"Oh I don't know. It could be years." Axel exaggerated making the little girl laugh again.
Roxas watched the entire exchange with an almost sad smile on his face. He always knew Axel would make a great father; he always knew just what to say and really loved kids. Roxas wished he was like Axel in that way. Roxas had always been awkward and uncomfortable around children, never knowing what to say or do, but Axel wanted kids and Roxas was willing to do anything for him. He would just have to hope that things worked out.
Many play dates with the little black haired girl, another house inspection to make sure it was child ready, and enough paper work to make the blonde's head spin later and they were driving home, their now official daughter in the child's seat in the back of the car, laughing as she listened to her new dads fake bicker in funny voices.
They had had a lot of fun already in their time together. They went to the park several times, saw a movie, and even got to go to the beach one warm day. That day was Roxas's favorite of their days together as a family. He had made a lot of bad jokes that day, and he knew they were bad, but Xion laughed at them anyways, right alongside Axel. Roxas knew Xion's laughter was probably from pity, about as much as a two year old could, but it was okay. He still made her laugh. She had also found a perfectly intact thalassa shell. It faded from a soft yellow into blue and she seemed to love it very much. Roxas knew there was a shop not far from where they were that turned shells like that into jewelry and so they had gone and had it turned into a necklace for her to keep. She wore it every day after that.
When they finally pulled into their driveway, Xion was bouncing in her seat, excited to see her new home. They quickly showed her around the house, ending the tour at her room. She let out a happy squeal when she saw it, the walls painted to resemble a sunset as was her request. The two men had agonized over what color to paint her room. Pink? No, that's pushing gender standards on her. Blue? That's pushing opposite gender standards on her. Yellow? That's supposed to make little children cry more often! They can't do that to her! Finally, frustrated they asked Xion what she wanted her room to look like. Shyly she had responded that it really didn't matter; she had never been given the opportunity to pick something like that for herself and wasn't completely comfortable, but after some other questions and probing they finally got it out of her that she liked the colors of the sunset. So they went out and got some reds, and yellows, and oranges, and a little bit of purple and blue, and turned her room into a sunset.
While Axel helped her settle into her new room, Roxas left for the kitchen to whip up some dinner for the three of them. Roxas had also spent some time probing for food she liked to eat so he knew what kinds of things she would definitely eat. Of course, he would make other things and try to get her to try something different, but it was good to know what she already liked as something to fall back on if she really didn't like something.
Halfway through their simple spaghetti dinner the phone rang and Axel politely excused himself to go answer it. When he was gone for several minutes, Roxas stood up to find out what was going on, lightly reminding Xion to behave and that he would be back in a moment. She was a very well behaved child, so he knew she would be okay long enough for him to find out what was taking Axel so long on the phone.
When he entered the hall that had the house phone he heard Axel grumbling a goodbye into the phone before hanging up. He noticed Roxas watching him and sighed. "They need me to come into work for a couple hours tonight. Emergency. I probably won't be back till around 10."
"10? But… Xion has to go to bed before that?!" Roxas panicked a little. Although he was more comfortable around Xion now, he still wasn't confident in being able to put her to bed all by himself the very first night!
Axel stepped over to the blond, lightly gripping his shoulder to help him calm down. "It'll be fine. She's a great kid. You won't have any problem." Axel assured him.
"But what if she doesn't want to go to bed when she's supposed to?! What am I supposed to do about that?!"
Axel rubbed slow circles over Roxas's skin. "I doubt she will, but you could always sing her a lullaby. She'll love it." He smiled.
"I-I guess I could do that." Roxas said, calming down a little.
"You'll be fine. If you sing to her, I'm sure she'll go right to sleep. You have a very soothing voice you know." Roxas just nodded numbly before they both went back into the kitchen. Just as Roxas knew, Xion was still eating quietly in her seat, taking small bites and chewing as if she savored each one. Maybe she did, but Roxas wasn't sure if a child her age could really appreciate food in that way or not.
"Xi," Axel caught her attention as he took his seat again. "I have to go into work after dinner for the night. They said it was an emergency, so it will just be you and Roxas for the rest of the night. Okay?"
Xion just gave him this look like she didn't understand why he was worried. "Okay." She simply replied.
Quickly finishing up his dinner, Axel pecked Xion on the forehead, lightly ruffling her soft hair, and quickly kissed Roxas goodbye before he was off for work. After dinner, Xion requested Roxas read to her. Roxas was hopeful that listening to him read to her would get her sleepy enough that she would fall right asleep, but no suck luck. An hour later her bedtime was here and she was still rather awake. She simply nodded when he told her it was time for bed and followed him to her room, letting him help change her into night clothes and tuck her into bed.
"Dad," She had begun referring to both Roxas and Axel as dad after about their third meeting. She would often slip into calling Axel daddy, but never once had she called Roxas that. He was a little jealous that Axel so easily got the affectionate title, but knew it was bound to happen. Axel was so much better with kids than he was. "I'm not sleepy yet." Her voice was small, sorry.
"Well, how about I sing you a song?" Roxas asked because really, what could it hurt to try it?
"You sing?"
"Only for special people," Roxas smiled.
Xion returned the smile happily. "Okay!"
For a moment, Roxas was at a loss of what to sing, until a tune came to him. One that his mother had sung to him when he was little. But he could never remember the words, so he decided he would just wing it and make it special for Xion.
It's the way that you blush when you're nervous.
It's your ability to make me earn this
I know that you're tired
Just let me sing you to sleep
It's about how you laugh out of pity
Cause let's be honest, I'm not really that funny
I know that you're shy
Just let me sing you to sleep
If you need anything
Just say the word, I mean anything
Rest assured, if you start to doze
Then I'll tuck you in
Plant my lips where you necklace is closed.
Xion had rolled over on her side, her big blue eyes drifting closed. Roxas lightly kissed the back of her neck, where the thalassa shell necklace clasp rested against the baby soft skin and pulled the blankets securely over her before slipping out of the room.
When Axel made it back home several hours later, quietly shutting the door knowing Xion would be asleep by now, he found Roxas sitting on the couch not quite watching the television. On the coffee table in front of him sat one of his notebooks, open to a new page with the lines of the lullaby he sang to Xion scribbled down. Quickly reading over the words, Axel looked up at Roxas somewhat surprised, Roxas biting his lip at the look.
"You wrote her a song?"
"It just sort of came to me when I was trying to help her sleep." Roxas confessed. "I didn't want to forget the words I used in case I need it again. She fell asleep pretty easily to it."
Axel smiled, lightly kissing Roxas's forehead as he had Xion's hours before. "I told you."
Years passed smoothly and Xion had already celebrated her 10th birthday. In that time, she and Roxas had spent a lot more time with just the two of them and came to have their own understanding and friendship to go along with the parent-child relationship. But it was still not like what Axel had with her. She went to him first for all of her problems. She told him her triumphs first. She called him daddy almost every day, but not once called Roxas it. Roxas tried very hard not to be bothered by it, and after a while had grown used to it. He could live with always being dad, while Axel was daddy. It was okay.
But then the day came that it was Roxas's turn.
Not long after her 10th birthday, Xion wanted to know who her birth parents were. Not because she wasn't happy with having Axel and Roxas as parents; far from it. She was just at the point in her life where she was curious about where she came from genetically. They were able to easily find her mother, who had chosen to leave her name and contact info with the orphanage should Xion every want to meet her. And so they set up a day for them to spend together. Roxas and Axel thought it could be something good. The only female figure's Xion had in her life were Roxas and Axel's sisters Naminé and Kairi, but they had their own families to attend to and could only spend a few hours a month with her. They thought maybe now she could be friends with her mother and have another female figure to look up to.
But they were wrong.
Xion's mother was not the female figure they were hoping for. She was a greedy woman, jumping from man to man looking for the one that could throw the most money her way in exchange for some fun nights together. She admitted that Xion's father was just some man that had bought her her first car in exchange for a few nights together and that the only reason she hadn't gotten rid of Xion when she first found out she was pregnant was because he had offered her more expensive things if she didn't. By the time things went downhill for the two of them – meaning he had run out of money to satisfy her greed – her pregnancy was too far along to abort and she simply gave her newborn up at the first chance. She only left her info at the orphanage because she was hoping whoever adopted her daughter might have some cash they would be willing to throw her way for giving them a daughter.
Xion was devastated.
And this was one time when Axel just didn't understand. His parents were good people. They still had dinner with the older couple once a month and spent all of the holidays with them. They adored their adopted granddaughter.
But Roxas did understand. He and Naminé had been abandoned by their mother when they were eight because she used all her money on drugs and had none left over to feed the two growing children. Their father was a faceless man who had been willing to pay for an hour or two with their mother. She had even tried to sell them at some point, but Roxas, in a fit to protect his sister, had kicked the man, who was looking to pay for them, in the groin, punched him in the throat, and got in a pretty good bite on his wrist when the man reached for his precious sister.
He understood what it felt like to be used and left behind because he wasn't deemed good enough. It was something he had struggled with for years before he met Axel. Axel had saved his life, literally. A week after they meet, Roxas was planning to commit suicide. He had put it off for years in order to look after Naminé, but she had proved that she could take care of herself when she slapped one of their classmates that got too handsy. Roxas didn't think he was needed anymore. Naminé could handle herself. So what did he have to live for anymore? Axel had shown him just how much Roxas was worth. The redhead had found him behind the school with the knife he had stolen and talked him out of it, reminding the blond how upset Naminé would be if something happened to him, and how upset he would be. After that, Axel made it a point to show Roxas how important he was and how useful he was to the world.
Xion didn't need to be shown those things, she was already reminded of them everyday. And the antidepressants she was put on helped get her away from the thoughts that Roxas himself had once thought. She just needed someone that understood to hold her while she cried.
And that was where Roxas came in.
He had been holding her, sitting on her bed, her tears soaking into his sweater. He rubbed soothing circles in her back, and spoke soft, comforting words to her, rocking side to side ever so slowly. She seemed to cry for hours and it broke his heart. That was when he remembered the song he had written for her all those years ago. He hadn't had to sing it to her since the first night, but he still remembered the tune and the words because he read it to himself almost every night.
It's the way that you blush when you're nervous
It's your ability to make me earn this
I know that you're tired
Just let me sing you to sleep
It's about how you laugh out of pity
Cause let's be honest, I'm not really that funny
I know that you're shy
Just let me sing you to sleep
If you need anything
Just say the word, I mean anything
Rest assured, if you start to doze
Then I'll tuck you in
Plant my lips where your necklace is closed
Her crying had slowed and sobs had calmed down. If not for the way she gripped him tighter, he would have thought she fell asleep, but he continued on singing, knowing exactly what needed to come next.
It's those pills that you don't need to take
Medicating perfection, now that's a mistake
I know that you're spent
Just let me sing you to sleep
If you need anything
Just say the word, I mean anything
Rest assured, if you start to doze
Then I'll tuck you in
Plant my lips where you necklace is closed
Brushing the longer, black hairs off the back of her neck, he softly placed his lips over the clasp of the thalassa necklace she still wore everyday. Her grip tightened a little again.
"That was the song you sang to me my first night here." She whispered. Roxas was shocked that she remembered, as he had never mentioned it again and hadn't sung it to her after that night. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and he almost missed what she said next, but was so happy he didn't. "Thank you, daddy."
From then on, whenever Xion had a rough day, she would go to Roxas, who would hold her, and rub her back and sing her song. And every time she would hug him tightly and thank him, but she hadn't called him daddy since. But that was okay. To Roxas, that just meant that when she did call him that again, it would be all the more special.
Her teenage years seemed to come before Roxas was ready. She had her first boyfriend, whom Axel had freaked out over and, Roxas was pretty sure, had at some point threatened with a lighter should he ever hurt his "little girl". She did well in school, and had a good number of friends, and small handful of best friends. When she was sixteen, her therapist decided she no longer needed antidepressants, but told her to get in contact with him should she ever feel she needs them again.
It all seemed to pass too fast and before they knew it, she was packing for college. Axel had cried the first night they watched her fill out an application to a college, not that he would let Roxas let anyone know that. They stood together to cheer loudly at her graduation, and celebrated with family at the open house. But it didn't really hit Roxas until the night before she was leaving for college, to move into the dorms.
Apparently it hadn't hit her either.
Roxas was sitting in his room, on the edge of he and Axel's bed. Axel was in the shower at the time, so Roxas was alone to sit and stare at the photograph that sat on his bedside table. It was of their first day at the beach, when Xion had gotten her necklace that she still wore tucked under her shirt every day. He hadn't realized he was softly crying until thin fingers were whipping away the tears. Looking up he met with watery blue eyes, tears sitting in the corners of them. With nothing but a sad smile for warning, her arms were around him and she was holding him tightly, crying into his shoulder like she had done too many times before. But this time he cried too.
They sat that way for neither of them knew how long. In the background, the shower had turned off and Axel had appeared in the doorway, a towel wrapped around his dripping hair, but knowing they needed some time to themselves, he turned around and left without their notice. Finally Roxas's tears slowed and he began to sing her song, finally finding the words to finish the song.
It's the way that you blush when you're nervous
It's your ability to make me earn this
I know that you're tired
Just let me sing you to sleep
His voice shook at first, but he continued anyways, letting it level out as he went. He knew Xion didn't care how he sounded anyways.
It's about how you laugh out of pity
Cause let's be honest, I'm not really that funny
I know that you're why
Just let me sing you to sleep
If you need anything
Just say the word, I mean anything
Rest assured, if you start to doze
Then I'll tuck you in
Plant my lips where you necklace is closed
It's those pills that you don't need to take
Medicating perfection, now that's a mistake
I know that you're spent
Just let me sing you to sleep
It's your finger, and how I'm wrapped around it
It's your grace, and how it keeps me grounded
I know that you're weak
Just let me sing you to sleep
If you need anything
Just say the word, I mean anything
Rest assured, if you start to doze
Then I'll tuck you in
Plant my lips where you necklace is closed
While you were sleeping, I figured out everything
I was constructed for you and you were molded for me
Now I feel your name, coursin' through my veins
You shine so bright, it's insane, you put the sun to shame
If you need anything
Just say the word, I mean anything
Rest assured, if you start to doze
Then I'll tuck you in
Plant my lips where your necklace is
If you need anything
Just say the word, I mean anything
Rest assured, if you start to doze
Then I'll tuck you in
Plant my lips where your necklace is closed
Once again her grip on him tightened and she whispered the words he hadn't realized he was waiting his whole life to hear.
"I love you, daddy."
Ok so there is like almost no Axel at all in this one, and I'm sorry for that, but I always pictured Axel as someone who takes right to children and is like... the perfect father/older brother figure besides his over-protectiveness that can get a little out of hand, but I think Roxas would need more time to get attached to a kid, and that was kind of the whole point of this.
Prequel for this is Chapter 3: We Didn't Start the Fire, and another sequel is Chapter 20: Dear Roxas