Here Come the Girls
Margaret gave a sigh of satisfaction as she sipped her morning coffee, taking a moment to herself to savour the tranquillity and beauty of her surroundings as she tried to chase away the cobwebs of the previous night's activities. Although she had woken with a slight headache, she knew she was faring a lot better that the rest of the group. When she'd gone to bed, sometime in the wee small hours, Molly and Jackie had been in fits of giggles as they tried to draw a moustache and beard on Nan's face with what Margaret was sure was a Sharpie. Clearly, Molly had spent far too much time around Two Section; their proclivity for mischief having rubbed off on her over the years. Though God help them both when Nan wakes up. Margaret sure as hell didn't want to poke that bear with a left over cocktail stick, even if she was handcuffed to the shower. Shading her eyes, Margaret looked up and couldn't prevent the snigger from escaping as she watched Molly and Jackie stumbling towards her, both blinking owlishly against the harsh sunlight and looking as if they'd both been dragged through a hedge backwards.
"Well well, if it isn't my two favourite dancing queens." she called out cheerfully, deliberately making her voice several octaves higher than usual, knowing how much they were suffering with their hangovers. Sure enough, both girls winced and made shushing noises as they made their way unsteadily towards the table. She watched in amusement as Molly slid onto a bench and slumped forward with a groan, laying her head on her folded arms as she mumbled, "Why do I feel like an elephants jumpin' on me 'ead?" Margaret made a sympathetic noise as she watched Jackie carefully lower herself until she was led vertically along one of the benches, an arm draped across her face as she took several deep breaths. "How are you doing Little Miss I Can Hold My Drink?" Jackie made thumbs down gesture with her hand. "My mouth feels grim; like I've eaten sandpaper and I feel better when I'm horizontal not vertical at the moment. Not to mention, I had the weirdest dreams last night involving chillies, handcuffs and policemen. I swear I'm never drinking again. What were in those cocktails anyway?"
"A lot more alcohol than there should have been probably. Don't worry I'm sure a day at the spa will sort you out. Dare I ask how Nan is this morning Molls? I take it she saw the funny side if you're both still in one piece." Margaret looked back and forth between the two women and felt a creeping sense of dread at their identical looks of confusion. "What do you remember from last night?" Margaret asked carefully as she watched Molly rub her forehead wearily. "All I remember was us drinkin' a lot, dancin' on the tables then ending the night in the bathroom…" as Molly trailed off Margaret tried to keep her face straight as Molly's eyes grew wide as the pieces slowly fell into place. "Oh shit. Please tell me we didn't?" Margaret grinned wickedly, "Didn't what?" Jackie's mouth dropped and her frantic gaze flew to the house as she cursed under her breath. "Oh bollocks! We'd better find that key before she wakes up else I reckon we'll be the ones in need of a medic." With a sigh Molly let her head drop onto the bench with a dull thump before she roused herself and trudged back to the house, pulling a reluctant Jackie with her. The three women crept carefully through the kitchen, and paused outside the bathroom door. Margaret who had somehow ended up in front, gestured to Molly, "After you ladies." Molly stared back nervously before stealing herself with a deep breath and tiptoed to the door, pausing on the threshold to listen for any sounds from within. Hearing the sounds of Nan's snores, Molly gave a sigh of relief. At least she was still alive. Though whether or not Molly and Jackie would be when she awoke was less of a certainty. Giving Molly a reassuring nod, Margaret nudged Molly gently through the door where she tentatively peered around the door frame, Margaret and Jackie following close behind.
"Lookin' for sumthin' ladies, or should I say someone?" All three women jumped, and spun around in unison to find Nan stood leaning against a pillar with her arms crossed. Although she was trying to look intimidating, the effect was lost on Margaret due to Nan still having traces of her Sharpie beard and moustache on her face. Judging by her expression, she clearly hadn't seen the funny side. Behind her stood a smug looking Bella, who dangled a key triumphantly from her fingers. "Lookin' for this?" Jackie and Molly looked at each other uncertainly. Looking Molly straight in the eye, Nan spoke ever so calmly, "Molly Dawes you better not let me catch you my girl, else that Captain Charming of yours and his band of merry muppets will have to do more than give you the kiss of life to bring you back from where I'll be sending you. An you can tell your friend the Angel of the North to stay clear of me an all, else she'll be the one needin' a medic! Me backs in bleedin' half after spendin the night sleepin in the shower twisted up like a bloody pretzel." Jackie looked at Molly from the corner of her eye and whispered fearfully, "What do we do? Apologise? Molly shook her head slightly.
"Nah. Time to retreat and regroup I reckon. Just back away slowly towards the door and whatever you do, don't take your eyes off her."
"Then what?"
"Then we run."
Margaret couldn't prevent the chuckle from escaping as she watched the girls sprint down the drive towards the field beyond. Looks like they might fit in a run after all. At least it'll help cure their hangover. Nan merely shook her head in Margaret's direction. "Don't look at me, I had nothing to do with it," She muttered raising her hands in a gesture of surrender as she looked out the window. Knowing Nan as she did, she knew she wasn't going to let the girls get away with their little stunt. They were in for an interesting few days that was for sure.
OG & OG
"Cor Molls I tell ya, after that massage you an' your mate are almost off the hook. I feel as though someone's jumped me bones. I haven't had that good of a rub down in years. That masseuse was well fit, I can tell ya. If only I were 20 years younger," Nan muttered as she let out a contented sigh. as she sank back against one of the loungers and sipped her cocktail. The group had spent the morning being pampered as they each chose various treatments before spending time relaxing in the pool and different steam rooms. It was the perfect remedy to help chase away the stray cobwebs left over from the night before. Now everyone appeared well rested and relaxed, ready for round two later in the day.
"You'll be lucky mum, what with you lookin' like that. I'm still tryin to work out which is worse; walkin next to you when you're lookin' like Rachel and Ross circa the Vegas episode in series 5, or havin to watch others do a double take when they see you walking along the cobbles in your birthday suit," Belinda muttered drily from where she lay stretched out next to her. Margaret laughed at Belinda's remark just as Nan piped up with a response. "Well, like I'm always tellin her, if she plays with fire she'll eventually get burned. Besides I weren't in me birthday suit. I had on me swim suit, my sash and me sparkly wellies on," Nan replied smugly.
"Yeah an nothing else Nan. It were well embarrassing walking after you like that. This ain't East Ham. That sort of thing will earn you a night in the cells. You're lucky you was able to dodge that copper. You nearly gave me a bleedin' Julius when you dashed off like that," Molly replied as she shuffled over to the group on her heels as she attempted to walk without smudging her newly finished pedicure.
"Paybacks a bitch ain't it Ducky."
"Ducky?"
"Well you do look a bit like a waddling duck walking around like that Molls. That, or John Wayne. Shame your man ain't here ay molls. Bet that masseuse could show him a thing or to. What ya reckon?" she replied cheekily nudging Molly when she noticed her increasing embarrassment.
"Nan! Honestly!" Molly shook her head as she cast an apologetic look in Margaret's direction. "Don't be daft Molls! It's your hen do. We're supposed to embarrass you with stuff like that ay girls? It's a shame though, about that copper. Me an Charlie missed an opportunity to bond over our jail time. I still can't believe he's managed to cross off number 7 on me bucket list before me. Lucky Sod!" Margaret chuckled quietly to herself. Despite Nan's jokes about Charles short, and not entirely real, stint in Bulford's finest lockups, The lads of Two Section were still paying heavily for the events of the stag do. Though from what Molly said, none of them seemed to be complaining too much. They were all delighted that they managed to make their beloved Bossman believe he'd spent a night behind bars. It was one of their proudest moments, a prank that had topped all of their previous attempts to do all they could to give poor Charles premature grey hairs.
"Yeah, alright Nan. I'm sure that can be arranged if you really want to even the score. All we have to do is chain you to another rail, outside Buckingham Palace maybe, and you'll be banged up in no time." Nan shot Molly a stern look after she broke their unspoken rule and mentioned the incident that shall not be named. Molly, knowing full well she wouldn't get any peace unless she apologised, was the first one to cave. "Ok ok, we're really sorry alright. It was supposed to be a bit of fun. I was pissed out my nut an Jackie wasn't much better and things went a bit far. We really didn't mean to lose the key. Honestly! What do you say we call it even?" Nan raised an eyebrow, her gaze flitting back and forth between the two women until they shifted uncomfortably. Uh oh, Nan's definitely up to something Margaret thought as she eyed Nan suspiciously. Margaret caught Belinda's eye and she bit her lip to hide a laugh. It appears she wasn't the only one who suspected Nan was up to no good. "Ya know Molls. Usually it's the bride who ends up in handcuffs but seein as we're here, this will have to do." Molly looked at Margaret in confusion. She could only give a casual shrug. With a smirk, Nan carefully reached under her chair and pulled out a bucket of ice. Oh dear, the girls weren't going to like this. The last time they'd done this, the whole of Two Section had taken part in the ALS challenge. Even then the girls hadn't taken the cold well. In one swift move, Nan had lifted the bucket above her head and threw the contents straight over Molly and Jackies' head. Both girls shrieked and jumped to their feet, running to dive into the warm pool as the rest of the group laughed but at the same time, cursing themselves that nobody had a phone to capture the incident.
"Now we're even Molls!" Nan yelled as the two girls came up for air, coughing and spluttering as they swam to the side to catch their breath. Nan, far too busy smirking at Molly and Jackie, hadn't noticed Belinda and Bella sneak up behind her until it was too late. Her sudden yell of surprise was drowned out as her head was submerged under water. Molly laughed as she began to flick torrents of water at Nan that soon led to a granddaughter-grandmother water fight. At Molly and Jackie's encouragement, the pool was soon filled with the shrieks and giggles of the group as they jumped in to join in the fun. They spent the rest of their session engaging each other in water fights and swimming races around the water rapids. They'd all fallen about in hysterics when they witnessed Nan, Belinda and Margaret attempt to teach the girls a water aerobics routine that showed their severe lack of talent when it came to synchronised swimming. By the time they left the spa, Margaret was unsure whether there was more water in the pool or out of it. Seeing the relaxed and happy expression on Molly's face she knew that it was all worth it.
Later that evening, Molly was stood staring sceptically at the mass of materials Jackie had assembled on the table. "Jacks, what the bloody hell kind of trouble are you getting me into now?" she asked with a laugh as the rest of the group came in and gathered around the table.
"The best kind Molls, as always," Jackie muttered, smirking at Molly. "Some of you may be wondering why we have a role of bubble wrap, newspapers and numerous roles of duck-tape here on the table. Before you say it, no we are not wrapping Molly up in bubble wrap and rolling her down the stairs, fun though that might be." Jackie grinned and sent Molly a reassuring wink. "Beats rollin' her up in a carpet I s'pose," Nan joked and Margaret couldn't help but giggle as she turned her attention back to Jackie.
"So, oh wise Angel of the North, what sort of trouble are we getting our Molls into now?" Nan asked gleefully, eying the materials with suspicion. Jackie laughed and patted her arm reassuringly, "Don't look too smug Nan, this is actually quite tame, but still good fun. A staple of a hen do, if you will. We're going to play Dress the Bride. You'll be split into teams and you can use any of the materials you see to design Molly a wedding dress. Obviously you will have to nominate one of your team members to be the model and encourage them to find their inner Naomi Cambell. You have 5 minutes to do this." Margaret who was watching Jackie closely, was the only one who noticed the beginnings of a smirk dance on the corners of Jackie's mouth.
"What's the catch Jackie?" Margaret asked as she eyed the medic suspiciously.
"Ah Mrs J, I knew I wouldn't be able to slip one past you, a right regular Sherlock Holmes aren't you. But alas ladies, the Mother of the Groom is indeed correct. There is a catch. Whilst you are making Molly's dress, you have to wear a pair of socks on your hands to make things that little bit more interesting."
"Why can't we just cut a hole in the top for our fingers," enquired Bella.
"Because that would be cheating and you don't get anywhere in life by cheating Little Miss Dawes."
The girls spend the next few minutes giggling as they sorted themselves into their groups and put on their socks. Molly had ended up in a team with Jackie, Katie, Bella and her friend Jenny. Nan had somehow ended up being nominated as the bride in her group, which left Belinda and Margaret to be paired up with two of Molly's friends from her last tour. When everyone was ready Jackie used her best Gladiator impression to get everyone started. "Brides are you ready?" at their nods of confirmation, Jackie continued, "Dressmakers are you ready? On my mark….three, two, one. GO!"
The next several minutes were filled with the sounds of instructions being barked at one another, the constant popping of the bubbles and lots of giggling as they worked together to poke, prod and wrap their brides in the hope of claiming the best dressed bride prize. Their task was made infinitely harder by the fact that, due to everyone wearing socks on their hands, the materials would just slide and slip through their fingers as they tried to put everything in the right place and make sure it stayed there. Eventually Jackie called time and everyone scrambled to put the finishing touches to their outfits. With slight difficulty, the brides managed to shuffle, waddle or jump to the front of the room where they proceeded to play music so the girls could put on a mini fashion show for the other teams with a commentary by one of the group.
"Here we have the lovely Molly who is sporting the latest in Egyptian Mummy Fashion. We have the lovely newspaper bodice, with the bubble wrap fishtail skirt that makes it impossible for anyone to pull a Runaway Bride whilst wearing it." The group cheered as Molly shuffled her way to the end of the catwalk. The bubble warp had been wound so tight around her legs that she managed to pull off a very successful penguin impression without even trying. The other groups faired infinitely better. Nan's group had chosen to create a pleated skirt by taping panels of newspaper around Nan's waist. They then wound bubble wrap around her chest to form a bodice and used the newspaper to create a giant corsage and a drooping bouche. Margaret cheered as the other groups showed off their designs and couldn't help but take pictures and even a video of the 'brides' attempting to do the Macarena and Cha Cha Slide in their costumes which led to them tripping over each other and pulling everyone onto the floor where they lay in a tangled heap of giggling limbs as they tried to pop each other bubbles. Before they could move, Bella pulled out her selfie stick and took a group photo.
"Alright you lot, group Selfie!" after several attempts, Bella managed to take a few photos before helping the brides up off the floor.
When Molly walked into the other room to take off her dress Bella leant over to Margaret and whispered, "I think Sam might gunna need a copy of that photo for his present. I'll try and send you a few that I took from this weekend when we get back. There are some crackin' pics. Molly's gunna loose her nut." Margaret couldn't help but laugh. Sam's memory book was shaping up nicely. He'd spend hours putting in the photos and writing various comments. He couldn't wait to get some pictures of Molly's hen do. Judging by the laughs they'd had this weekend, Margaret was sure that it was a weekend none of the group would forget in a hurry. Particularly Nan, who was going home with a lot more than she bargained for when she arrived. Let's hope she finds a solution quick, or they were in for one hell of a wedding.
A/N: Thank you for all the kind reviews. I'm sorry this took a bit longer than I originally promised but real life has gotten in the way a bit recently. This chapter has been sat half written for a while but i haven't been entirely happy with it. I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think, your feedback is always appreciated.