Okay... so uh, it's been a while. I had every intention of writing the fluffiest fluff that ever did fluff for Valentine's Day... but I lost all motivation to write that day after working on a scene for my animation class for 6 hours straight. And on top of that I got smacked in the face with inspiration for a longer story. If I let it it could turn into a decent length multi chapter fic, but I have too many of those already in my mind, so I wrote it as a longer one shot to get it out of my system. I will probably finish editing it and post it tomorrow, but it will be posted on it's own as I don't feel it really fits into this series.
Anyways, this is the song I talked about having planned like... two or three chapters ago, finally.
Different by Acceptance
Axel met Roxas in 6th grade. Roxas was quiet and not very outgoing, and maybe even a little lost having only one class with a friend from elementary school. He didn't have any with his own twin brother. But when Axel took a chance and asked him to be his partner for their first group project, he found out Roxas was funny and nice and smart. Axel was Roxas's first friend at that school, but as they got closer, their separate groups slowly merged together.
As they entered high school, Roxas's sense of humor turned into biting sarcasm and although he was still very kind underneath, he covered himself in a hard shell of indifference with a dash of classic teenage angst. But that was okay because Axel went from class clown and school prankster to teenage rebel, earrings and dark clothes and all. And they were a team. Axel had the scheming brain to come up with the plots while Roxas had the big blue eyes and perfect acting skills to get out of any trouble.
When Roxas told Axel he was gay over the summer between 10th and 11th grade, Axel didn't care. Roxas was his best friend and he knew he wouldn't try to convert him or anything, and he definitely wouldn't come on to him because Axel was 100% straight and Roxas knew how to respect people's boundaries. So Axel just shrugged it off and told him he didn't care who Roxas wanted to fuck. Hell, Axel even helped Roxas pick up guys and in return Roxas helped him pick up girls.
Axel almost skipped the huge party the night of graduation. Something about some chick who's name he wouldn't remember a year later who broke up with him the day before, leaving him dateless for the last party of high school. But Roxas was there, shoving him out of the house and assuring him over a glass of spiked punch, shouting over the pounding music, that he was crazy hot and any girl would be stupid to break up with him.
College proved to be one long string of bad relationships, one girl after the other losing interest in him and breaking it off after a few weeks. They gave him every excuse in the book. Roxas was there with a case of beers and the assurance that most college girls weren't looking for a very serious relationship like Axel was, and that he would find the right one in time.
When he was 26, Axel started to get frustrated. He had graduated from college, gotten a great job offer that still left him with plenty of free time. He was a grown adult and he acted like it. Sure, he still had tattoos and piercings and he still went out to concerts and the bar with his friends, and he even made some illegal fireworks a couple times the year before, but still. He was tired of starting to fall for woman after woman only to be dumped within three months.
He was lying on his living room floor, a beer waiting beside his hand to be drunk. That day his girlfriend of two and a half months, who he really liked and enjoyed being around, and he thought, he really thought, liked him the same, told him it wasn't working out. She told him it wasn't him, but her. Yeah, how many times can someone be told that and still be able to convince themselves it was true?
"What's wrong with me Roxas? Is there something about me that women don't like?" Axel asked miserably as he rolled onto his side to look at his blond best friend, seated on the couch with his own beer.
"I don't know, man. It's hard to find the right person, you know? At least they don't string you along for a year or two and then tell you you're 'not the one'." Roxas shrugged.
"Am I doing something wrong?" Axel sighed to himself, flopping back down and staring at the ceiling. "Should I change something about myself?"
"No way." Roxas shook his head, rolling his eyes. "If you have to pretend to make someone love you it's not worth it. They won't be in love with you, they'll be in love with who you are pretending to be. As long as you are yourself, you're doing everything right, Axe." Axel didn't have anything to say to that and so they sat in silence for a few moments.
"Maybe I just need something different." Axel mused.
Roxas grinned, leaning back into the couch. "You know, Axe. If you really do want something different, I'm always here." Axel looked at his best friend for a moment, gauging what he meant, taking in the grin and the words. Part of him wanted to say it was just a joke, that Roxas was kidding and wanted nothing but to be his friend. But the other part knew that Roxas never said anything he didn't mean. Even when they were teenagers and Roxas tried to put on the angsty teenager act, he would still mean everything he said, and if the truth was something he didn't want people to know about, he kept his mouth shut. It was one of the things Axel admired about Roxas, that he was always honest, and so he knew that his best friend had just offered to… well date him. And love him for who he is. Before he could think too much about how he felt about that, Roxas interrupted. "Come on. We're killing zombies until the sun comes up or we pass out."
Over the next month, Axel though a lot about what Roxas said. He thought about what it would be like to be in a relationship with a guy, with his best friend. He asked his other friend, Riku, what it was like to date Sora, Roxas's twin brother. What it was like to date a guy. Riku just looked at him like he was crazy and said it was no different from dating a woman really. It was still a relationship that required work and give and take. He told him relationships aren't about what they had between their legs, but their personality, their thoughts, opinions, emotions, actions, likes and dislikes. Yes, physical attraction was needed, but he found that if you love who they are, you will come to love how they look as well, even if they aren't what you thought you would love.
Axel though about these words too. Did he love Roxas? Could he? They got along well, of course. Their personalities and interest and opinions were just different enough to keep things interesting, but similar enough that they had things to share. They had been best friends for years, were roommates in college, and had many times spent every day together for months on end and he was never sick of seeing Roxas. Was that what was needed for a proper relationship?
Axel also watched Roxas himself whenever he could. He watched the way the tip of Roxas's tongue stuck out when he was trying to get one of his photographs to look perfect. The way his toes moved in time with his thumb mashing buttons when he played video games. He watched Roxas's eye come alive when he was looking at Axel, and the way they sparkled when he was presented with sea-salt ice cream. He watched the way muscles rolled under his skin when he stretched, the smooth lines of his body arching and curving. The way his fingers tapped to the music playing in his head when he was lost in thought. The way his tongue slipped out into his glass when he drank, or how he savored every sip of hot chocolate in the cold winter.
How had he not seen how beautiful his best friend was?
"So what are we doing tonight?" Roxas asked, stretching himself out on Axel's couch.
Axel sat himself down in one of the chairs to the side of the couch, thinking if he was really going to ask this, and eventually deciding that he needed to know, for his own sanity. "You're going to explain what you meant by 'if you want something different, I'm always here.'" Axel told him.
Roxas sat up, looking at his best friend. "I mean exactly what I said."
Axel sighed, leaning his head on the back of chair. "I know that, Roxas. I mean… what did it mean? Are you…?"
"In love with you?" Roxas finished for him.
"I-I guess."
"No."
"No?" Axel brought his head up to look at Roxas again.
"No." Roxas shook his head, leaning back more comfortably on the couch. "I'm not in love with you. I never let myself think about you that way because I've always known it would just lead to heartache."
"But you-"
"I still meant what I said." Roxas shrugged. "Just because I never let myself fall for you, doesn't mean I don't know I could. Doesn't mean I wouldn't be willing to." Axel groaned, leaning back again in the chair, hands covering his face. "It's not something you need to stress over, Axe. You're straight and I'm not in love with you. Nothing has to change."
"Except everything already has!" Axel explained, sitting up once more. "You made me start thinking about it, Roxas. Start thinking about what it would be like to be with a guy, with you. Hell, I asked Riku what it was like."
Roxas was silent for a moment, watching Axel tug on a lock of red, red hair. "And? What did he tell you?"
"He said it was the same, that gender doesn't matter. It's how you interact, how you work for the relationship, and the give and take."
"So?" Roxas asked. When Axel just looked at him confused, he sighed and continued. "You said you were thinking. You must have decided something if you are asking me about this. What did you decide?"
Axel sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes. "I want something different, just like you said. I kept thinking about you and how well we get along, how much time we spend together and yet I never get sick of seeing you, of talking with you and spending time with you. And I would look at you, really look, and I saw all the little things about you that make you who you are." He laughed to himself, a short, breathy laugh, "You're beautiful, Rox." Axel shook his head, looking away for a moment. "You said you could give me something different. I don't want to screw everything we have up, but… I want that something different."
"Okay," Roxas breathed. "Okay. If that's what you want."
"I-it is. If I don't at least try, I'll regret it."
Axel awkwardly stood from his chair, moving to sit next to Roxas. He sat there, unsure of how to proceed before Roxas rolled his eyes, sighing. "Don't be such a pussy now, Axel."
"I'm sorry! I just- I'm scared. I don't want to completely ruin what we have."
"It'll be fine, Axe. We just take this a step at a time. You're in charge. You're the one treading new territory here, so you set the pace. And if you decide it's not what you want, we go back to how things were, no hard feelings." Roxas assured him.
"Okay." Axel took a breath it, preparing himself. He turned to Roxas, and promptly lost that breath when he saw an amused smile. Roxas always was beautiful when he smiled. That decided it, without a second though, Axel leaned in and covered the amused lips with his own. A pleasant shock ran down his spine and he leaned farther into Roxas. Kissing Roxas was different from most women, who simply let him kiss them. Roxas kissed back, really kissed back. He pushed back, his lips working just as Axel's did. And when Axel decided to take it a step farther and opened his mouth, Roxas met him halfway. Roxas made him work for control over the kiss. When he finally pulled away and saw darkened blue eyes he decided. "I could get used to that." He whispered. "I could get used to a lot of that."
A month found Axel and Roxas going out together, as a couple.
Four months found Roxas staying at Axel's home more than his own.
Eight months found Axel placing the last book from Roxas's collection onto his bookshelf.
A year and a half found them laying on the couch in their home, their new puppy finally napping on the dog bed beside the couch. Roxas was comfortably lying on top of Axel, pillowing his head on Axel's chest.
"You know," Axel started, running his fingers through Roxas's hair, the plain silver band on his finger catching the light. "Different may be scary, but sometimes it's the best thing you could ever ask for."