This is another sequel of sorts to both We Didn't Start the Fire and Lullaby. If you haven't read those two chapters, I suggest you do that now because I make several references to those that I go into little detail about so you will probably be rather confused if you haven't read those two. I think this is the last for this little AU. I really like it, but I think this one wraps everything up pretty well and when I heard this song I just couldn't help but write this.
Looking back it's kind of funny that this started with just a silly little idea of Roxas embarrassing Axel with badly timed song lyrics, and has turned into probably one of the hardest stories I've written for me to read again. I can barely listen to the song Lullaby anymore without crying because that one meant so much to me. So I hope you like this wrap up to probably my favorite AU.
Also, 20 chapters! Never thought it would get this far.
Dear Bobbie by Yellowcard
Axel could still remember when he first met Roxas. He could remember seeing those blond spikes from across the gym floor. He could remember the dress shirt and slacks the boy had on that were just a little big for him, a small tear on the side of the shirt and the bottom of the pant legs showing wear. He remembered watching him dance with his sister, a smile almost reaching his eyes as he watched her truly enjoy herself for once. Axel remembered walking over to Roxas after the song had ended and Naminé had been skirted away with some of her friends. He remembered nervously tugging his pants down a little because he was in that awkward stage of life where he would shoot up several inches every few weeks and so his only pair of dress pants were too short now. He remembered asking Roxas to dance and the confusion that came to the blond's face. He remembered the feel of the too thin frame against his lanky one as they danced in the corner, out of everyone's view.
That was the freshman dance in high school.
Axel remembered what he would long consider the hardest day of his life. Even harder than watching his daughter graduate from high school, from college, and even walking her down the aisle, one arm in his, the other in Roxas's. It was the day he found Roxas in one of the far corners of the school, where few people ever went, bent over one of the bathroom sinks with a razor in his hand, blood dripping down his forearm. He remembered pure panic as the blond he had meet the week before, the blond he had danced with to the soft music at the dance, who had already started to steal away his heart, collapsed into a growing red puddle. He remembered picking the too-light boy up and quickly wrapping his arm up in his sweater to try and stop the blood. He remembered sprinting to his home, being as careful as possible not to jostle him too much, and quickly explaining to his mother, a nurse, what had happened. He remembered tracking down a panicking Naminé and explaining what had happened and that Roxas would be staying at his home for a while so his mother could take care of him. He remembered hearing from Roxas as he woke up that he had nowhere to go, that he and Naminé were homeless. He remembered his mother opening their guest bedroom to them until Roxas was better and they could find a suitable place for them to live.
Axel remembered what he could later refer to as "The Fall". The months after the hardest day in his life in which he fell and fell hard. For Roxas. He remembered talking to Roxas every day, assuring him without words that he was wanted, that someone cared, that he had worth. He remembered waking up in the night and finding Roxas curled up on the couch, shaking from nightmares; holding him for hours until he would fall back asleep. He remembered hearing the blond's story and his explanation for why he attempted to kill himself. He remembered the way blue eyes brightened at the sight of a similarly blue frozen treat. He remembered seeing the first, full and honest smile reach across his face and take it over, transforming it into something Axel would never forget, and would spend every waking moment trying to see again and again.
Axel remembered the day Roxas asked him out. Axel wasn't exactly subtle about how he felt, but he never pushed himself on Roxas. He was simply happy being around him and making him happy. So when Roxas, a year and half later, asked if he wanted to go get some dinner and maybe see a movie? With those big blue eyes looking away nervously, slightly crooked teeth trapping his bottom lip between them. Axel couldn't remember what they ate for dinner that night, or what movie they went to see or if it was even a decent movie, but he did remember a warm hand in his, happy laughter, shy smiles, content sights, soft hair on his shoulder, and the soft brush of lips.
Axel remembered the last two years of high school. He remembered walking through the halls, a grin on his lips and the best boyfriend in the world on his arm. He remembered evenings spent sitting on the floor of a bedroom, homework half finished and forgotten on the floor around him, soft words, muffled giggles, and warm lips. He remembered Friday nights with their friends, playing games, from Smash Bros. to Honey I Love You, pounding music, and a small blond in his lap, short fingers playing with his own. He remembered his first job, with some ridiculous outfit and key phrases he had to say, but he remembered the money was worth it because he bought his own car and could take Roxas anywhere. He remembered their first time; he remember smashing his head against the wall accidentally, knees knocking and elbows digging into ribs like they shouldn't, pained whimpers and lots of whispered apologies, but most of all he remembered the satisfying feeling of having Roxas curled up against him, drifting off, their clothes decorating his floor.
Axel remembered every stupid fight they had. He remembered the sound of his heart breaking every time Roxas walked away from him. He remembered the taste of the cookie dough ice cream that Larxene brought him every time. He remembered awkward apologies and shuffling feet. He remembered talking over each other because they both needed to talk and say how sorry they were and the awkward silence that filled the room when they realized they weren't the only one at fault, that they both had things to work on. He remembered the feeling of realizing that there would be plenty of problems that would come up in their life that would test them and their relationship, but it would be worth it because Roxas was the best thing that could have ever happened to him, and he was the same for Roxas. He remembered when they opened the door to their first apartment. He remembered walking in on Roxas dancing around their tiny kitchen, a wooden spoon in his hands, and song lyrics on his lips.
Axel remembered late night cram sessions, more cups of coffee than he could ever count, two explosions in the chemistry lab, one twenty page long research paper, and tanned hands that pulled him away when it became too much. He remembered throwing his cap along side countless class mates and having no intention of getting it back. He remember sitting down at his desk at his new job for the first time. He remembered slinging a laughing Roxas over his shoulder and walking through the doorway into their very own home.
Axel remembered walking through those doors again, a woman from the adoption agency steps behind him, and hearing his love nearly scream "British politician sex" into their showerhead. He remembered an awkward dinner and thin arms around his neck, some of the best words he had ever heard ringing in his ears. He remembered big blue eyes, so much like Roxas's, and short black hair, innocent questions and falling again like he had in high school, but this time it was with Roxas at his side and a little girl in his arms.
He remembered getting married, even if it wasn't legal by any means, it was symbolic and that was all that mattered. He remembered blue and green crystals, candles everywhere, and Xion looking perfect in her flower girl dress. He remembered the tears in the corner of his sister's eyes as she hugged him close and told him she was proud of him. He remembered the threat he got from tiny little Naminé. He remembered losing sight over everything else as he and Roxas walked towards one another, barely hearing the voices around them. He remembered doing it all over again five years later, when gay marriage became legal. He remembered making sure everyone invited knew it was not a marriage, but a vow renewal, because they were already married, this was just legal shit and proving to the world they were and always would be in love. He remembered Xion again in a flower girl dress, taller now, older, and beautiful.
He remembered listening to the voice of an angel sing to his daughter as she cried, knowing that this time he couldn't do anything. He had saved the angel and now it was time for the angel to save their little girl. He remembered pulling a blowtorch on the first boy Xion brought home. He remembered watching her stand in their doorway for pictures the night of prom, clad in a sparkling dark blue and black dress, her date's arm around her shoulder, looking at her like Axel knew he had once looked at Roxas. He remembered the tears that fell the night Xion filled out the application to her first choice for college. He remembered draping a towel across his shoulders and walking away to leave his two loves to cry before one moved away the next morning. He remembered running his hands through blond hairs like he had thousands of times and taking in the new lines on that perfect face.
Axel remembered watching his daughter marry the man she loved as much as he loved Roxas. He remembered coming home to a quiet home, finding his love in the second bedroom, sitting in the chair he had once rocked their little girl to sleep in as he sang her song. He remembered the distant blue eyes that stared at the sunset painted walls. He remembered the forgotten paint cans on the floor.
Axel remembered the laughter as he walked through the door with a box of bright red hair dye. He remembered the jokes Roxas made as he covered the appearing silver strands with dye, careful to not let it drip on anything. He remembered the spot of strawberry blond that lingered in Roxas's hair for weeks because he had flicked some of the dye at the laughing blond.
He remembered holding a newborn baby for the first time. He remembered looking into the eyes of his grandson and wondering how it was possible to love three people so much and so differently. He remembered how much harder it was to keep up this time when he was tugged along down the beach by tiny hands and pleading blue eyes. He remembered the sound of running feet along his wooden floors and knowing that at the end of the day they would go home and it would be quiet again.
Axel remembered watching Roxas grow old beside him. He remembered counting the silver strands in his hair as they lay together one night. He remembered waking up every single morning to the perfect face and blue eyes and knowing that every time he fell in love all over again.
Axel remembered many things throughout his life, something he was very happy to still be able to do at such an old age. He had let his hair go white long ago, and at some point had agreed that it was time to cut it short. He had traded his heavy boots for supportive shoes, and several inches of height for a cane. He had let the tattoos on his face fade and wrinkles take over.
Axel lay back in his bed, hand in hand with the person he had always loved, day after day, and he wondered how it was possible for one person to bring so much love into his life.
He watched old, tired blue eyes start to drift closed. "I love you, Axel."
"I'll always love you, Roxas."