Me: Hey guys...I updated...with more crack...Huzzah. AIDOU.

Aidou: *Blah blah blah blah* Vampire Knight *blah blah* owned by Matsuri Hino.

Chapter Three:

Keep It a Secret

"Baby, are you mad at me for reading your diary and finding out you're actually a lesbian for Ruka? You've been quiet for two hours. If you want, I'll give you my virginity...NAH! That's for my special someone! I love you babe, but you're not that special! Plus I'm straight! But I do want to try out that lesbian phase. It's just not for me though huh? Right babe?...Babe? Why do you look like you want to kill me?" Miki grinned nervously as Yakama approached her with an evil glint in her eyes.

"I'm going to murder you if you ever tell anyone. And I will never have sex with you unless you're Ruka-sama. So stop making sexual jokes towards me."

"...I have a lot of pictures of Ruka. I'll give five new pictures for free if you calm your titties down and talk to me?"

"Deal."

Miki went to her drawers and pulled out one filled with all of her undergarments. Pushing them aside, she took out a small suitcase and put in a code. It popped open, and she flipped through all of the organized documents it held. Giving an, "Ah ha!" She pulled a specific file on view and plucked out five new pictures of Ruka, handing them to Yakama carefully. She didn't want to smudge the picture with her fingers in case it left grease marks. The shorter girl drooled, looking through them.

"These are such a nice angle…Where did you get them?"

"I installed cameras around the school! On Saturday, I usually gather all of them up and then take screenshots of it on my computer when I think I can sell it for money. Plus, it helps me collect a lot of data on the students to blackmail them when I need something. Genius huh?"

Yakama gave her a flat stare, "Why the hell are you only a genius when it involves money?"

"Boobies."

"Ugh."

The blonde laughed raucously and then jumped on the bed. "I actually got the idea from reading a lot of fanfiction and watching anime lately. It's awesome huh? Yeah, don't worry. I know it is. That's the reason why I have been making a lot more money lately. But seriously, remember the time when you told me Idol's eyes turned red?"

Yakama corrected her, "Aidou. And yes, I do. You told me you believed in nyan cat."

"LOL. I mean, laugh out loud…BUT I FINALLY KNOW THE REASON WHY."

"Tell me."

"Give me a pair of your panties."

"I'll mutate your face."

"I'll scream rape."

"I will rape you."

"Good enough."

"TELL ME YOU STUPID BITCH! I MUST KNOW!" Miki grinned widely and then pulled her laptop out. Turning it on, she entered her long password and went to the home page. She clicked on the videos section, and searched for a file titled the Night Class Secrets. Pulling it up, she gave it towards Yakama to watch. The entire time Yakama watched, her face turning red. "This is porn!"

"Oh…My bad. Not that video!" She exited it out and then clicked on another one. "This one!"

Five.

Yakama gasped.

Four.

She gripped her pillow so hard it was going to tear in half.

Three.

Her eyes grew wide.

Two.

Her jaw dropped.

One.

"THE NIGHT CLASS ARE—"

Miki slapped a hand over her mouth. "That's right! The Night Class are all copies of Edward-kun..sssss!"

"Edward-kun, really? That's the best vampire joke you can come up with? Out of thousands of joke the internet offers online, you have to make a damn reference to Twilight?" Yakama gave her a dry look and rolled her eyes.

"Fine. All of the vampires are sparkly bastards."

"That's not any better. It's still related to Twilight."

"OH, SHUT UP!" Miki pouted and took her laptop, shutting it off. "What I'm trying to say is, everything makes sense now. They're all distant, depressing, and dark! They sleep in the morning, but they wake up in the afternoon to go to class until the sun rises! AND THEY ALL LOOK HOT. Like, REALLY HOT. Like, SUPER DUPER I-WANT-TO-POUR-CHOCOLATE-ON-YOUR-FACE-AND-LICK-IT HOT. Doesn't it make sense now? Plus, Iroll—"

"Aidou."

"—asked some of the girls what their blood type is. And I remembered him regarding me as a different species. This means that they're all vampires! The Kuman—"

"Kuran."

"—guy is the leader of the group because he's a pureblood! It's all in the video! Yuuki and Zero knows what they are too, and they do more than just patrol for Day Class girls sneaking out of school! They're on the lookout for vampires trying to sneak out of class to suck blood because they can't stand the shitty tablets."

"That does make sense."

"Yeah! AND YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?"

"What?"

"I COULD BE A MILLIONAIRE IF I TOLD THE NIGHT CLASS' SECRETS TO PEOPLE WHO PAID ME!"

"Don't do it."

Miki frowned. "But why?"

"Because…because…." Yakama twirled her fingers and then sighed deeply. "What if the reason the vampires are here is to try to co-exist with us humans in peace? There must be a reason why it's a secret. And if we just spilled it for money, which is pretty shallow, then that means the half of the school population will leave. I love this school, and I love the way it is. I'm begging you, please don't tell anyone else. Just keep it shushed."

"So…I can't tell anyone?"

"No."

"Okay!"

"That's it?"

"What's it?"

"You're seriously not going to tell anybody for money?"

"Yeah. You told me not to. If you didn't want me to tell anyone for money, then I won't."

"You're not joking?"

"Nope!"

"Did you even listen to my speech at all?"

"Only the last part."

"I hate you."

"I love you too babe."

Miki held an imaginary gun to her side and did a commando roll on the ground. She jumped on the countertop and look to her left, and then to her right. "Agent Small Ting-Ting, are you there? Over," she said to walkie-talkie quietly.

"I'm here Agent…Chink. Why you picked that name for yourself, I will never know. Over," Yakama reported.

"Because I'm awesome. Over."

"You're gay. Over."

"No, that would be you. Literally. Over."

"I promise you, I'm going to murder you one day Agent Chink. Over."

"You should just rape me instead of giving me the same empty threats Agent Small Ting-Ting. Over."

"Okay, you know what, this shit is getting annoying. Just tell me, is the coast clear yet?"

"…You didn't say over. Over."

"FUCKING OVER."

"Coast is clear. You may come in now. Over." The door slammed open and Yakama marched into the home economics classroom, irritated. Miki pretended to shoot her, "Pew pew pew! Pew!"

"Stop that!"

"Pew! Oh no, the giant monster is coming closer! Shoot faster!" Miki shrieked in a high pitched tone. She then changed her voice into a low pitch to imitate a man, "Yes ma'am. Agent Chink here to save the day. Pew pew pew! Pew! Pew pew! PEW!" Then she switched back to the useless woman. "Oh Agent Chink, you're my savior!" Then the man's voice. "Baby I know. Now let's have raw se—OW. Geeze Ai, you didn't have to throw my facking walkie-talkie at my face. You could have just told me you liked S&M."

"...Sometimes, I really want to hit you."

"I'm glad we feel the same way."

Yakama jumped off the ground, screaming. She whipped her head over to glare at the blonde vampire standing next to her, smirking. "You! Since when were you there!"

Aidou rolled his eyes and pointed a finger at Miki—whom was pretending to shoot Aidou in the crotch while screaming at him, calling him Godzilla. "Ever since she tip-toed in here and crash into random objects, did a commando roll, jumped on the counter, and called you Agent Small Ting-Ting. Does that answer your question?"

"Damn it Agent Chink! I THOUGHT YOU SAID THE COAST WAS CLEAR!"

"Well exxcccuuuseeee me, princess." Miki hopped off the counter and skipped over to the fridgerator. Digging in it, she took out a few ingredients and set them on the smooth surface. "Now make me mah sexay burritos before I hurt you." She then cocked an eyebrow at Aidou. "Why are you here again? Don't tell me…YOU CAME HERE TO MAKE A SANDWICH? LE GASP. STAY AWAY FROM IT YOU DIRTY PROSTITUTE. I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE MY…Uhh…USE MY BITCH! I will throw her at you!"

"Who's your bitch!"

"You are. You lost the bet. Bitch."

Aidou growled, "I'm not here to make a sandwich Watanabe! I heard both of you sneak into the school from my classroom! Your voice alone is enough to alert an intruder."

"Or…is it because of your vampire hearings were you able to detect an intruder," Yakama stated slowly. Her eyes widened and she took a step closer to Miki out of precaution. "You and the rest of the Night Class are vampires."

Blue eyes narrowed into slits. "How long did you two know?" he demanded. Shit shit shit shit. I need to tell Kaname-sama that they know. I need permission from him to modify their memories. But did he really want them to forget about the huge secret the academy was keeping from the Day Class student? They would lighten up his boring world a lot. He could screw around with the two humans, and if they became dull, he would wipe out their memories himself. (No sexual innuendo intended.) Would that work?

"I found out yesterday from Miki. I don't know when she figured it out."

Miki played with the un-cooked beef, stabbing her finger into it. "I only knew for two weeks. Hey, are you going to cook me my burrito or not? If you don't, you're going back on the bet. That means you'll have to walk around the school naked babe. Don't worry, I'll enjoy the view."

"I'm working on it!"

"Make the salsa too please!" Miki then hopped over to Aidou and slapped the back of his shoulder playfully (aggressively). "Don't worry dude! I'm not going to tell anyone, I promise."

He moved closer to her, his face inches apart from hers. "How do I know if I can trust you humans to keep our secret?" he asked, hissing.

"That's easy." She smiled widely and moved over to his ear and whispered, "You don't." He felt her hot breath hit his ear and a small shiver ran down his back. Miki hopped away and skipped back over to Yakama, pulling out a chair to seat herself. "Care to join us Iphone—"

"Aidou."

"—in a little snack? Not our blood! I mean like, human food. Just you, me, and Agent Small Ting-Ting."

"Shut up Agent Chink."

"Uh huh. So Ihoe—"

"AIDOU."

"—Want to join us?"

Aidou looked back and forth between them and calculated the possibilities of him getting in trouble with Kaname for skipping class again. Probably just a little scolding and not a slap. Slaps only came when he started messing around with Yuuki. He pulled another chair out next to the fake blonde and sat there. "Make a lot or else I'll suck your blood." Yakama paled and nodded furiously. Miki began swinging her legs back and forth happily. He put an elbow on the counter and placed his chin in his palm, watching every movement of theirs—studying them.

"Hey Agent Chink, pass the tomatoes."

"Yes Agent Small Ting-Ting."

"How long will this take?" Aidou asked dully, drumming his fingers against the surface impatiently. He hadn't had any tablets to drink, and he was craving for blood at the moment. Yakama's blood smelled decent, but Miki's (sweaty smelling) blood overpowered the other's; it held his craving back. That was good since he wouldn't get in trouble for giving into his lust for blood.

"I'm almost done. Stop being impatient," Yakama snapped.

"YEAH, JACKASS!"

He gasped, appalled. "I am not a jackass!"

"That's not what my mother told me!"

"I never even met your mother!"

"THAT'S WHAT MY MOTHER TOLD ME TOO!"

"Hey."

"YOU DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" Aidou screamed.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT I HAD A SPASM IN SCIENCE CLASS OVER FROG LEGS."

"Guys."

"SEE! THERE YOU GO WITH YOUR RANDOM TALK! YOU'RE THE MOST IDIOTIC HUMAN I HAVE EVER MET!"

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU, JUSTIN BIEBER IS NOT MY WIFE—" Miki was interrupted.

"GUYS!" They both became inaudible; shocked at the fact that Yakama had to raise her voice over them. The brunette placed her hands on her hips. "Now if you two have finished arguing like children, I just wanted to tell the both of you that I finished with the burritos. Aidou-senpai, if you have a problem with regular food, then this is not for you."

Miki roared with laughter. "AHAHAHAHA! SHE'S SAYING YOU'RE A STUCK UP SNOB THAT DOESN'T APPRECIATE MIDDLE CLASS FOOD!"

He glared at her, "I can too!"

"Suuurreee." She took a burrito and bit into it, giving Yakama a thumb's up. "It's good."

"It better be. Since I prepared your food, I'll be taking my leave now. I need to finish my homework. Unlike someone." Miki smiled sheepishly and continued to wolf down her food. "Right. See ya later. And umm…bye Aidou-senpai."

He gave a nonchalant wave, not bothering to spare her another glance when she left the room awkwardly. He observed the plate in front of him and handpicked it up with his fingers cautiously. "Is this even healthy?"

"Nope!"

Aidou stuck his tongue out at her response. "Then why are you eating it?"

She shrugged, "What goes in your stomach, eventually comes out in the end. Plus I exercise. I have to be in good shape no matter what for my sports tournaments!" He snorted in disbelief. "Shat up! At least I actually do something! What do you do? Read for fun? LOLOLOLOLOLOL. I mean, laugh out loud."

"In fact, I do read for fun," Aidou retorted, smirking. "At least it makes me good-looking and smart. The only appealing thing about you is your athletic abilities. You can't even speak Japanese correctly!"

"Hey, you forgot about my sexy body! Don't forget that part."

Aidou gaped, "You're not going to deny it?"

"I don't see why I should when it's true. If I can admit that my body is hot, and I'm really AWESOMELY strong, why can't you admit that you're just a hot, cheeky bastard? Everyone would be happier that way."

"Aha! So you admit I'm hot!"

"Yeah, but I also admitted that you're a cheeky bastard."

"…." Well it was true.

"Are you going to eat your burritos or not?" He peered at her plate and found it was empty. The porcelain was sparkling too. He frowned. She definitely reminded him of a werewolf. He sniffed. And her blood smelled repulsive just like them. "Seriously, are you going to eat your damn burrito? I'm as hungry as an African child!"

"That's incredibly racist."

"It's only racist because I'm Asian huh? At least I can make fun of my own race too! So technically, it's not racist!"

"Excuses, excuses."

"BITCH, JUST GIVE ME YOUR DAMN BURRITOS! I'M STARVING!"

Aidou pulled out a random excuse that he thought would work, "HEY LOOK! MY LITTLE PONY!"

"WHERE?" She jumped out of her seat and moved towards the window. Taking the chance, he opened his mouth wide and picked up the entire plate, dumping the food into his mouth. When she turned back to yell at him, he had already swallowed all of it. Her jaw dropped. "You….

Aidou grinned, wiping his mouth with a napkin neatly. "It's decent."

Miki narrowed her eyes. "Spit it out."

"Huh?"

She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him back and forth vigorously, "SPIT IT OUT YOU CHEEKY BASTARD! SPIT IT OUT!"

"I ALREADY SWALLOWED IT!"

"I'M HUNGRY!"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?"

"SPIT OUT THE DAMN BURRITO—!"

"Aidou." They were silenced once again. Shiki walked towards them with a blank expression and pinched the collar of Aidou's uniform, pulling him out of her strong grip. "Kaname-sama said for you to return to class immediately. As for the girl, I will have to escort her back to her dorm if I don't bump into the perfects," he said blandly, expression still blank.

"Awww damn it! I got caught? That sucks!"

"You two were very loud," Shiki said.

"How loud?" Aidou asked, curious.

"We heard the entire conversation starting from Agent Small Ting-Ting."

Miki gasped, "YOU TOO?"

"Yes. Unfortunately, some of the conversations were whispered so we didn't hear everything. However, we got the gist of how it went." Shiki's light blue eyes darted back to the guilty expression on Aidou's face. "You should go now before Kaname-sama gets mad. I'll take her back and report to the chairman if she becomes a problem." He gestured for Miki to leave the classroom. "If you will."

She pouted, "Fine you emo." Crossing her arms, she stomped out the classroom.

Shiki rotated to Aidou, "How much does she know?"

He shrugged, "I think the only thing she knows so far is the fact that we're vampires."

"If that's so, it should be easy to remove her memories."

"Ah…" Aidou frowned in distaste.

"I'll be taking my leave now. I'll see you when I get back."

"I'm bored!" Miki exclaimed, flailing her arms in the air.

"Watanabe, we're walking. Walking is not supposed to be fun and happy," Shiki replied boredly.

"BRO. YOU REMEMBERED MY NAME?"

"You broke one of our windows and insulted Aidou vigorously on accident the first I met you. Naturally, I would remember your name."

"Oh. What's your name?"

"Shiki Senri."

"Shiki…Senri…" Miki smiled serenely and tucked a hair behind her ears. "That's a really nice name." He stopped for a second at her calm girlie actions, furrowing his eyebrows. He was confused by her compliment. He had known the girl from watching her interact with other people besides himself. She was loud, rude, obnoxious, insulting, greedy, gluttonous, and perverted. He never included nice in the list. "Hey Shiki, are you okay?"

"Fine." Shiki slipped his hands in his pocket and continued his smooth pace.

"Hey dude, your cheeks are a little red. You sure you're not catching a fever?"

"Yes."

"Do you always talk so little?"

"Do you always talk so much?" he retaliated.

"Touché." Miki began whistling a tune as she skipped.

Shiki raised his eyebrows, "What song is that?"

"Trouble Maker by…Trouble Maker. It's a Korean song! It's awesome huh?"

"…."

"Thanks~." Miki suddenly went from whistling to barking like a dog. Then to a dolphin. And then she made hissing sounds while throwing her hands out in a claw like manner, acting similar to an angry cat.

"Is it impossible for you to act human for ten minutes?"

"It's not, but I'm extremely bored! Dude, try to guess what I am!" She crouched down and beat her chest with a fist roughly.

"Gorilla."

"OH, HOW DID YOU KNOW?" She exclaimed, jumping up on her feet.

"Hn." Reaching the Day Class entrance, Shiki moved closer to her and held a hand to her forehead.

Miki frowned. "Are we going to have a cliché, romantic moment?"

He quirked a smile, "No. Just close your eyes."

"What do I get?"

"A surprise."

"Okay!" She closed her eyes without hesitation. When Shiki had activated his powers to wipe out her memories, Miki fell towards him, limp. He caught her with an arm around her wrist, keeping her up and leaving his other hand to continue wiping out the memories. He grimaced. She knew more than them being just vampires.

"Humans need to mind their own business," he murmured softly. Removing his hand, he dropped her on the ground harshly and sat next to her, waiting for her to wake up. Twenty minutes passed and he grunted, holding a hand up to his growling stomach. Reaching in his jacket, he pulled out a box of pocky and tore it open. The sweet flavor soothed his hunger down by a little.

A hand flew out and grasped his food, snatching it from him. "Thanks for the food dude!" Miki grinned and began snacking on it. It was apparent that she woke up only from the smell of food. Shiki bored his eyes into her form and secretly asked himself if it was worth mutating a human or not into something unrecognizable. She ate two sticks from the box and threw the rest back. She smacked her lips together, "I got a question."

"Ask."

"Who are you?"

He blinked owlishly.

"No name? Oh that's cool I guess. So how did I get out here? The last thing I remembered is making fun of my friend's sexuality."

"…."

"I'll just…go." Under her breath, she muttered, "Emo kid."

Climbing up the entrance, Miki was going to jump off but paused as the red-headed vampire called out, "Hey." She turned around and found the box of pocky aimed at her face. Pure reflexes from sports made her catch it without falling off.

"Thanks dude!"

"Shiki Senri."

"…I understand."

"My name. Shiki Senri."

"Oh!" Miki laughed and another serene smile showed up on her face. "That's a nice name you have there, Shiki."

"Hn."

"Bye bye!"

He nodded and pivoted on his foot to leave, waving lightly. A small smile appeared on his way back to the school building.

"WAIT SHIKI."

Shiki tilted his head.

"CAN I HAVE YOUR UNDERWEAR TO SELL IT?"

And he never looked back.

Me: Yeah, I just wanted it to be more of a dialogue for this chapter. And the reason why I revealed the secrets so early is because I want to get the plot moving faster. I don't plan to drag this story out to fifty-facking chapters. Reviews are, as usual, appreciated. :D Unless you guys are mad at me for writing too much crack and making horrible jokes. Just to clarify things before anyone gets mad:

I'm Asian. Therefore, I would be making fun of myself too by putting all of those horrendous jokes up.

But if any Asian is still offended, you guys need to calm down and get a sense of humor.