Sam was flanked on either side by Natasha and Steve. "My intestines are falling out, I can feel it."
Natasha slapped him on the shoulder "Good news Cassie's with Fury. She'll shove them back in. I'm sure she'll wear gloves, no worries." She shrugged at Steve so Sam couldn't see it.
They hurried through the crowded street, ignored the throng of people in the building, and made their way with Fury into a freight elevator.
"Where is she, Fury? Where's Sharon?" Steve's anger seeped out of every pore.
"She's back on Long Island at the sanitorium, monitoring the data coming in from the laser tags."
"Sanitorium? She's gonna need a sanitarium, better yet a trauma center, when I'm done with her." Natasha growled as the elevator doors closed.
Steve went toe to toe with Fury "Pull her out of there. Take her into custody."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa….I get it, this mission fell apart but let's not get ahead of..."
"Fell apart? The guards came early."
"Could have been a miscalculation."
"A van of soldiers tried to kidnap him."
"May have been a mistaken identity."
Sam frowned "Mistaken identify? Have you actually looked at Barnes lately?"
Steve kept going "They knew the trigger words."
Fury cut him off, "I understand, but she doesn't know the trigger words, we don't know it was her and we're better off."
"Don't know it was her? No one else had this intel, it had to be."
"I had it, you had it, they had it." Fury nodded towards Natasha and Sam.
"Hey! I hate the guy but I wouldn't sell him out." Sam offered weakly.
"So you think I would sell him out?" Steve's feet didn't move but his body leaned into Fury's space.
"No." Fury didn't back down but softened "We need to let this play out to catch her if she's the mole."
"Play out? With him as the bait, is that it?"
"Not what I said, Rogers. He's already in there. She's isolated. I've cut off her connection to what we're doing now. Let's get him out of there and see how she plays her next hand."
They all fell silent as the elevator dinged at each floor.
Steve wasn't convinced but his thoughts hung on something Fury said 'She doesn't know the trigger words.' He ruminated over the night, the missteps, the constant pursuit, Ellingwood's confidence, how each location marker was hidden. But he kept coming back to the trigger words.
Steve slapped the button for the next floor.
"What the hell?" Fury barked.
"Getting off here. It wasn't her, maybe. And I need help." He grabbed Natasha's wrist and rushed off the elevator.
"Coming?" Natasha quizzed as she gave Sam a look of 'You better get your ass off that elevator.'
He complied.
"Rogers, what's the plan?" Natasha wondered as she hefted Sam's flight pack.
"We're going to back him up."
"What? No. I'm done. He's insane. Look at us." Sam clung to the banister.
"Sam, he's walking into an ambush. They weren't following your tag, they knew all along where he'd go." Steve pulled at Sam's arm.
"How? He didn't tell anyone, not us, not Fury." Natasha pried Sam's fingers off the handrail.
"Nope. He doesn't trust anyone. He didn't even tell me." Steve paused every few steps to let them catch up.
"So how would they know his plans."
"He told Sokolov. She knows the trigger words. Not Sharon."
Sam argued, "She's a prisoner at Fury's headquarters."
Steve countered. "He was her prisoner for a month. What if he told her everything he remembered; what if she triggered him, and passed it on; they would know he'd show up eventually."
Sam groused. "So he told Hydra his super secret intel and still dragged us on the mission anyway? Asshole."
"Sam, he doesn't remember telling her. Nat said the widow used conditioning on him, or the trigger words; maybe she tricked him into telling her."
Natasha paused on the stairs, "Steve, she didn't trick him."
He kept running downward.
"Steve."
"What? Come on we need to go."
"You need to hear this. She didn't trick him." Natasha and Sam caught up with him. "She tortured him. Made him dependent on her for everything; food, clothing, human contact….she broke him down then brought him back up so he'll think she's his savior."
"That was years ago, wasn't it?"
"Yes and no. She did all that years ago but she reinforced it when she had him again."
"Reinforced? What exactly does that mean?"
"She used persuasion tools to encourage behavioral change."
"Ok I don't want to know...you're right….you're telling me this now?"
"If I had told you sooner you wouldn't have let him do this."
"Damn right. I'd of protected him from his own stupid ideas."
"He needed to do this, Steve. He needs to fight his way out of her control even if she's locked away."
Steve took it all in. "That's still a trick."
"It's more than that; it's control that's been embedded in him for years, he isn't even aware of it; remember, I told you the day we rescued…...not rescued, him, his walking away was a start….it's not over. He thinks she tried to take the words out of his head; I'm not so sure about that."
Steve had a moment of despair, just a fleeting second, then "All the more reason to not let go." His ribs and head protested as he jumped down the last flight of stairs and headed for the doors.
Sam grumbled, "I'll admit it I'm confused."
They hit the street and hurried to the abandoned subway entrance.
"I've got a few stun discs left, half a clip in my handgun and one knife."
"I've got one clip, and wings."
"I got nothing."
"You've got your muscles super soldier." Natasha drawled as they descended into the darkness after Barnes.
Bucky waited for the owner of the footsteps to show themselves. He really hoped it would be Steve. "Stupid plan to let him leave even if he is hurt." He didn't need the Voice to tell him that, his own head knew it. But he also knew the last leg of this redemption plan was going to be hard, maybe impossible and he needed to protect Steve.
"So here we are Soldier. As usual, it all comes down to you and me."
"And the Widow." He was shaken by the sound of that softer voice in his head, hoping it was just blood loss and dehydration and he couldn't remember the last time he took the medications.
"Who knew the Winter Soldier would need a medication minder box with an alarm."
"Fuck you. I'm not the Winter Soldier and you're just pissed you can't control me as much anymore; next time I see that nurse I'm gonna ask her to up the dose so you'll go the fuck away!" His argument with the Voice was interrupted by the sounds of more feet in the darkness. He squinted to clear the shadows; slowed his breathing to focus his hearing on the subtle movements coming closer. His threat assessment was halted by a single red dot on his chest.
"Shit. Not Steve." He dove to his right and rolled with the shield further into the tunnel.
"Creative use of the shield. Score 8."
"What?"
No one opened fire, but more red dots manifested through the space. He didn't waste any energy on wondering how they found him. It was a given; he'd go after his target, they would go after him.
"Come home, Soldier. Give yourself up. I'll protect you."
Bucky groaned silently at the widow's words; if the rattle they caused in his head was frustrating, at least they weren't convincing him to go 'Home to Hydra'….at least not yet.
He counted the red dots as they started to converge on him again; most were on his chest; unfortunately, two were on his groin. "Fuck."
"There's more you can do with that shield you know."
He slowly shifted it to cover his groin.
"Not quite what I meant but you get points for creativity."
Bucky sighed "Ok, might as well use the damn thing."
He stepped back for leverage, coiled his body around it and sent it hurtling towards the source of the laser lights. The din of gunfire rocked the space; bullets zinged all around him, he dove for the far side of the tunnel listening for the clanging rebound of the shield; trying to meet its trajectory. The aftermath of moans and weapons dropping, then feet moving closer couldn't overpower the hiss of the shield cutting through the air. He instinctively raised his metal hand into the darkness to meet its edge.
The force of it slamming into his palm gave him all the energy he needed to step out into the brawl.
Steve was a half mile ahead of Nat and Sam by the time he hit the old Essex Street station platform. His ribs were mildly complaining, the gunshot wound in his arm had scabbed over, and his head stopped bleeding. His thoughts were consumed by one theme; "What if she can control him even now." He tripped over a body in the darkness; searched it for recognition but no metal arm.
He kept going; his mind went back to the first days in the house when Bucky said: "What about the words in my head." It didn't matter to Steve that Bucky refused therapy then and now; didn't matter that he never brought it up again. All that mattered was how Steve hadn't pursued it. He dove into his pool of guilt as he ran deeper into the underground hoping those damn words were not being used again somehow by Hydra. His chest ached from the thoughts of how she may have tortured him, took him away right from under his protection; but his heart ached at how powerless Bucky must feel when those fucking trigger words fall into his hearing.
Bucky fought his way through way too many Hydra goons in the tunnel; down a passageway and up into a connector tunnel that led to an active station. He found the last target area. "Six of six." He mumbled as he braced himself against the wall to tear the door down.
"You did pretty well with that shield. Trading in your guns?"
He ignored the Voice's chatter.
The fighting had taken its toll; he had a fresh hole in his left leg and the stab wound was bleeding again, thanks to a ridiculous monkey pile with four soldiers, one of which unmercifully kneed him in the belly a few times.
The final piece was important...more important than anything else he had done in the last who knows how many hours or days. "Six of six. Then rest."
He found the entrance guarded by more soldiers. "This is getting old, even for me." He grumbled as he took out two of them with the shield and tossed one down the tracks. He pointed his pistol at the last one, who prudently ran away as Bucky let his last bullet fly to the far left of his target.
"Still not use to the no-kill rule, Soldier. How about one for old times sake?"
Bucky only had a sigh left for the Voice as he took the stairs three at a time up to his destination. A long hallway with locked rooms on either side. He paused at the top and let an old memory crawl through his mind. The Soldier had been here before a few times, years earlier; he had no role in the service of the place; was only there as the asset attached to handlers who were getting downtime. Those handlers had particular recreational tastes; the Soldier wasn't privy to the events, only the implications; what he witnessed was distinctive enough to register and return after the silo fight when the memories came roaring back to haunt him.
This destination was the reason he tagged the Hydra operatives instead of killing them; 'Cut off one head, two more will take its place.' Bucky knew this better than anyone, even Steve. He took out the guns and the computers after sending the data to Stark "Cut off one head, two more will take its place." He muttered to himself. He dared to hope he could make a small amount of redemption here and maybe the night's work would keep Hydra from doing this again at least here in the underground of Boston.
He wasn't naive; he had a shoe box full of other locations all waiting for him to survive this mission.
"Ok, let's wrap this up shall we?" He didn't often start conversations with the Voice but felt it was appropriate given most of the encouragement he'd received over the course of this mission had been...well...supportive...not vicious negativity.
Except the Voice didn't answer, a sure sign something was amiss.
"Shit."
He stepped out of the shadows and into what felt like glaring overhead light compared to the tunnels. His eyes adjusted quickly to take in the figure at the end of the hallway. No guards, no dogs, no guns. One diminutive person without a single weapon.
Bucky had fought dozens of soldiers, had been shot...twice, stabbed once, almost blown up, definitely blown down a shaft, nearly raped….he shuddered; his kidney was mush, and in general had the piss kicked out of him and was still going mostly strong only to face the one person who could stop him.
He faced the old Widow.
"Hello, my child. I knew we'd see one another again."
She smiled a grandmotherly smile that sent bile into his throat more so than his usual anxiety driven puking. He couldn't speak words out loud; but his mind spit out "What the fuck woman, you're supposed to be in prison." The 'fuck' word stayed tightly under wraps.
He contemplated running back down the stairs but those locked doors were why he was there facing her down. He wasn't going to abandon the reason for all this fighting. He didn't want to admit even to himself, the power of her eyes locked with his, kept his feet rooted in place.
He vaguely hoped he was hallucinating; like seeing Mrs. Stark, he waited expectantly for the seizure that would knock him to the floor; then he could wake up with Steve's worried face staring down at him; his hands on his chest, tears falling on his face, then Steve would unzip his pants, roll him onto his belly, hitch his hips up into the air and then he'd fuck him right there on the floor of that hallway in front of her. Take that, you old Widow.
"Whoa there Soldier, rein it in! Now is not the time get your head in the game here."
Bucky shook his head from side to side, not really wanting to rid himself of the tangential thoughts of Steve fucking him but glad to have the Voice spew some reason now was not the time.
His musing came to an abrupt halt when she took two steps towards him. He fought with the terror-rage that froze his body and mind; and said the only thing he could think of at that moment.
"Hello Mother. I've missed you."
Steve followed the trail of injured soldiers to the last ED WAS HERE, although he would have found his way based on the demolished wooden door and the discarded handgun he recognized as Buckys. He was in a subway tunnel that had more lighting and echoed distant sounds of metal wheels on tracks; a slight stale breeze wafted by at times. In the distance, a pool of yellow light and faded voices gave the hint of an active station.
He stared at a mark of fresh blood on the wall; it looked like a handprint only splayed out and squared off; as if put there by a metal hand. "Ok. Pal, on my way."
He cautiously crossed the threshold, crept up the stairs and hugged the shadows….he could hear Bucky talking. Steve tried to quiet his unsettled feelings as he listened to the contrite tone. "I understand. I'm sorry. Forgive me. I promise I'll do better." It made him sick to hear him nearly grovel.
"Please let me try to do better. I'll come home. I've missed you."
His mind wandered to the only person he thought could do this to Bucky; he hoped he was wrong. He stepped into the hallway; Bucky was standing with his back towards Steve, looking down at someone in front of him.
"Buck. Hey, pal. I've been looking for you." His steadied his voice.
There were no more words from Bucky.
"Who you talking to, buddy?"
Steve saw his whole body stiffen at the sound of the questions. He could see the telltale signs of stress; the squared shoulders, his feet shifted into a more balanced stance; there was the nearly imperceptible twitching of his head; the sure sign of Bucky feeling overwhelmed.
Steve worked on a non-threatening yet ready posture. The dread slowly grew that he would have to engage in the fight he never wanted to have….ever again.
"Hey, pal. It's me, it's Steve….How about we go home now." He kept his words calm.
Bucky slowly turned to face him; his movement telegraphed his desire to protect the person standing behind him.
"Who are you talking to Buck?"
The answer came in his posture, not words; he stood firmly in place and brought the shield into position; dangerously close to being put to use.
Steve's heart caught in his throat when he saw his face; blank and resolute. The nightmare of the helicarrier came to mind.
"Bucky...please….talk to me."
Steve's begging only received one response. A cold impassive stare.
"He isn't going to answer you, Captain."
Steve wasn't surprised at hearing the Widow's voice. She stepped around her guardian to show herself. "I told you before, he belongs to me. He has always belonged to me." She downright purred.
"Buck, you don't belong to anyone, not her, not me. You don't need to listen to her."
"But he needs to listen to you?" She laughed softly. "Is that what you're saying? Who controls him, you or me." She looked up at Bucky. "Should we see what he thinks?" Her arm snaked through Bucky's metal elbow as she leaned her chin against his bicep, she patted his forearm. "Who should you listen to, child?"
Steve had a very cold chill run down his spine; he dismissed the jealousy and embraced his disgust. Everything screamed at him to lunge forward and drag her hands off of him.
But he wanted to give Bucky the choice; "Buck, come on, I know you, I know you don't want her touching you like that you hate being touched, especially by a widow."
"Who will you choose, Pasha?" Bony fingers laced through his metal ones; Bucky's expression never wavered. He glanced down at her, his body shifting as if being drawn into a web. Her hand moved towards his face, fingers gently stroking his cheek. At first, it seemed he leaned into that touch as well but Steve caught one small sign in an otherwise revolting display, Bucky flinched when she touched his skin.
He went with it.
"Listen you jerk, I'm tired, my head hurts, my ribs hurt, I'm going home with or without you and when I get there I'm gonna eat all the ice cream then the peanut butter, I'm gonna jump on your bed, then I'm going to have a threesome with Nat and Sam. You won't be there for any of that if you stay here with this old washed up hag of a Hydra agent. So what's it gonna be….ice cream and hot sex or her." Steve was going for the shock value even though most of what he said wasn't true. Maybe the threesome part. Maybe. He was definitely going to eat the ice cream and jump on Bucky's bed….wherever that may be…..hopefully with him in it.
Bucky stared blankly at Steve. The widow repulsively stroked his arm and cheek while Steve fumed. Then a glimmer of confusion passed over Bucky's face. Steve was sure of it. He had a brief thought that it was the threat of eating all the ice cream that sparked the reaction.
A second later a metal fist was around his throat, driving him back down the hall.
"Buck stop it don't do this." He croaked out as he twisted at the metal wrist. His back bounced off the wall but the shield slammed a door so hard it shattered the wood. Bucky threw him across the hall; Steve crashed into that wall and again the shield fractured a door narrowly missing Steve's head.
"Please, Buck….don't want this." He ducked under Bucky's arm and retreated back across the hall only to be pinned by the shield jammed against his back. The metal fist broke through the third door as Steve squirmed away from the rain of splinters.
The last thing Steve wanted to do was hit him….but he did. An elbow to his chest knocked him back, Steve flipped around to drive a shoulder into his chest; they both crashed through the next door landing in a heap on the floor, Bucky on the bottom groaning from a number of insults and one good thing. His kidney and the stab wound were throbbing, but, on the upside, Steve was straddling his hips in an enjoyably distracting way.
Bucky glared at him and whispered "You are a fucking idiot for coming here. I'm trying to protect you."
Steve shrugged "I came to rescue your ass, it's a trap!"
"No shit."
They rolled in opposite directions to get up. Something caught Steve's attention. Eyes. Several sets of eyes were on them. Bucky ignored them but not Steve. He stared back at the people cowering in the corners watching them fight. He didn't have much time to process; Bucky snagged him by the belt and tossed him into the next door; the front kick missed Steve, of course, but took out the lock on that door as well. Steve spun away and stumbled towards the last door.
"STOP." The widow's command halted Bucky in mid-stride.
"Do you think you're fooling me, Soldier." Her voice had a power that belied her size. "I've been around too long to be so easily played."
The sound of a stun prod firing up made Bucky stagger back. "Not one more step, Pasha." Her menacing growl stopped any further movement, even Steve stood still.
"I know what you are doing, Soldier. Pathetic bleeding heart." She spit the words out with so much venom Bucky's fighting rage was stripped away in seconds; replaced with the stricken look of a little boy.
She closed the gap between them "You will take your punishment child." She held the charging prod within inches of his metal arm. He stood obedient to her command.
Steve's horror was surpassed by his rage as he watched Bucky unravel in seconds. His ragged breathing; the fear in his eyes, how the sound of the device paralyzed him; sent fire through Steve's brain.
"Do not touch him. Do not fucking touch him." His snarl matched her intensity; he inched carefully forward, heading for that tiny space between her torture device and Bucky's metal arm.
She remained undaunted; "Or what, Captain; you'll hurt me, kill me, I think not." She waved the prod dangerously close to its target. "He is an unruly child that needs discipline. You see that yourself, I'm sure. Willful, disobedient, lacking in self-control, I know he's not listening to me, he's breaking these doors on purpose, delusions of being a hero."
She waved the prod so close to Bucky that Steve could see the sparks of near contact race up and down the arm, he could see that Bucky felt the teasing threat. "As if a few good deeds will erase the hell he's unleashed. There's no saving your soul, Pasha. You've been damned by your own hands."
Steve begged. "Bucky step away from her. Don't listen to her."
But he couldn't move his feet; her words held him in place; shaking and powerless to listen even to Steve.
"Tell me, Captain, have you finally fucked him? Perhaps I should let you two have a go at it before I take him home." She smiled the kind of nasty smile one does not expect from a grandmother. "Perhaps…. I'll even watch."
It took Steve a nanosecond to deck her; he'd crept close enough to reach her with his fist, while his eyes implied he would go for the prod. He only regretted that Bucky had to endure her onslaught of ugliness before he could shut her up. She looked a lot smaller in an unconscious pile on the floor, the stun prod sizzling next to her.
Bucky dropped to his knees and curled down; a quiet sob leaking out between his gasping breath.
"I'm sorry I didn't shut her up sooner." Steve was kneeling next to him, leaning down to speak close to his ear, his hands anxiously hovering over his back and hair; waiting for a sign that he could hold him.
Bucky shook the shield off his forearm and grabbed Steve. He crawled into his lap clinging to him; his arms wrapped around him; he buried his head against his middle. Steve pulled him tight against his body. "Not gonna let go of you. Never letting go."
Bucky whispered what he knew about the room's occupants; in the past, they were young girls mostly, some boys. Now he thought they looked younger; it was hard for him to tell. He wouldn't look at Steve as he told the story but confessed close to his ear Steve vowed he would help him do whatever it took to fight Hydra until every single operation was destroyed.
But he balked at the plan to let the Widow go. "Not a good idea, why do this?"
"We don't need her."
"That's weak. It's not about needing her. It's about keeping you safe."
"I have you. You'll keep me safe." It was nearly innocent the way he said it. Steve's heart broke a little.
"She's a menace...she..." He hated to say it but all the soul-searching along the way made him blurt it out. "She can control you. I saw it, you know it. She needs to be locked up and the key destroyed."
Bucky frowned but wouldn't relent. "Let her go."
The old widow stirred on the floor. Steve didn't want her to hear their argument; he relented to Bucky's plan, for the moment and moved to put himself between her and the rescued children; and Bucky, as he ushered them into the staircase.
"I vowed no more killing when I walked away from Hydra." He pressed the gun barrel deep into her flesh at the back of her neck; the side of her head was braced against the wall; blood dripped from the corner of her mouth. "I just might make an exception in your case." His words were meant to have bravado but Steve could hear the undercurrent of anxiety.
"Do it then, Soldier, pull the trigger." She taunted.
Steve paced behind them, not wanting either of them to see his struggle. He wanted to throw her in a very special cell on the Raft, and let himself and Natasha interrogate her for days on end. But it was Bucky's call and Steve had to envoke being a leaf on the wind.
She started to speak in Russian...Steve jumped towards her and covered her mouth with his hand. "Nope. Not taking any chances. Buck...please, let's just take her in; we'll bring her to the Raft..you and I...nevermind….Nat and I, not you." He groaned at the quick flash of fear that crossed Bucky's face at the mention of going to the Raft.
Bucky shook his head emphatically as his metal hand tightened on her shoulder until it drew a whimper that ended in a defiant spit of blood into Steve's hand.
"Ok. Kill her then. Let's get this over with. I'm good with it." Steve wiped his hand on his pants and walked a few feet away. "I'm moving over here...don't want any more of your foul blood splattering on me. Go on, Buck, do it. Kill her." Bucky hesitated, wondering if Steve really meant it.
"Fine. What's one more." Bucky muttered, then pulled the trigger. The click sent a shudder through her; a shudder that gave Bucky a few seconds of relief. "Not wasting any more time on you." He pushed her aside and headed down the stairs.
Steve followed him. "So you tagged her?"
"Yup…...You doubted me."
"Yup." He grabbed Bucky's arm and stopped him. "Not gonna hold back anymore, pal. You let her go because of who she is...what happened between you. I don't think you could kill her even if you wanted to. I think she's set you up to always watch out for her even when you don't know it."
Bucky tried to pull away. "Give me some credit."
Steve held on "She controlled you with words, Buck."
"I know she has a piece of my mind.….but….so do you." Bucky stroked Steve's cheek and pulled him in to whisper "I chose you up there no matter how it looked or what either of you thinks. I chose you."
The widow appeared at the top of the stairs. "Such a tender moment, child."
Bucky pulled away and headed down the stairs.
"I'll see you again Captain. I'll see both of you again soon enough."
"What the hell..." Sam blurted out as they hobbled down the tracks.
Natasha frowned at first when she saw figures moving towards them. The backlight from the distant station overpowered the faces. She pulled Bucky's knife and readied herself; the last of the stun discs were gone, there were no more bullets between them and Sam was bleeding again.
She muttered, "I hate him." As she thought about Barnes and this damn stupid mission.
Light reflected off something in the approaching crowd, it was round and silver. She sighed hoping the shield was still in Bucky's or Steve's possession; whoever was heading their way was surrounded by some very short soldiers.
The headlights of a trolley backlit the figures briefly. Two were tall, one had tousled long hair; the other one had a shield. Both had a distinctive way of walking. She slapped Sam on the chest "It's them."
"So this was the mission all along." Natasha knelt to pick up one of the smaller children.
Bucky didn't answer. But Steve did. "Apparently. Seems Hydra's been running this operation for a very long time. They need medical attention. We need to get in touch with Fury." Bucky watched the darkened tunnel, he knew it wasn't over, they were still underground, still vulnerable...now with a pack of short people with bare feet.
"Maybe winging it on the plans isn't a good idea anymore. Not to mention they're so short."
"Shut up. I get it, better plans yes they're short...I noticed. Trust me." Bucky muttered as the others tried to get reception on their phones.
One of the taller kids stared at him intently.
Bucky's paranoia was generally hypersensitive; at this point in the mission, it was on screech. "What? What are you looking at? I'm covered in blood I get it. Not a reason to stare."
The kid didn't flinch. He just kept watching Bucky.
"Wait...it's the arm isn't it...you're staring at the arm."
He shook his head 'no' then ventured quietly "You hear voices too?"
"What? No. NO. I'm just talking to...myself." Bucky paced away quickly. In all the time with Steve and company, no one had ever just called him on it.
"Out of the mouths of babies."
Bucky stopped walking away and ran his hand through his hair. He strode back and stood over the kid so close he nearly fell over backward to see all the way up to Bucky's face. "Yes. I do. I hear voices and I talk to one of them. All the time."
"Really…..is he nice to you?"
Bucky shrugged kinda "Mostly he's ok. Sometimes not so helpful...actually mean, but then again I am an as…jerk…. You got a problem with that, kid?"
"Nope. I hear them too." A slender finger slipped timidly through a belt loop on Bucky's pants. Bucky stood erect; with more stillness than he had ever employed as Hydra's best assassin.
Off in the distance….Steve started laughing.
Movement down the darkened tunnel shook him out of his stunned pose. He was grateful for the distraction even if it meant more fighting.
"We need to go. Now." He whispered to Steve as he stumbled over the attached child and grabbed a spindly girl with a limp and threw her on his back; he ignored the protest of his kidney as her foot balanced on his hip. Natasha thrust a smaller child into his arms; he held it like a wet blanket in front of him.
"On your hip Barnes, like holding Steve...on your hip." She called as she scooped up two more. He cautiously adjusted the child to his right hip….searching his long years of memories for any reference points.
"Nothing in the past 70 years, pal."
Fury brought Cassie's medical team to the entrance of the station. Four very dirty, beat up, bloody Secret Avengers and a small horde of ragtag barefoot children coming up out of a subway on a Sunday morning got the trolley riders cell phone cameras rolling. Hydra was nowhere to be found. Fury was counting on that when he suggested the station as their recovery point.
Bucky retreated to the tunnels once he dropped off his cargo. The kid who clung to his belt loop cried when Cassie pried him away. Bucky couldn't begin to process how that made him feel.
"That kid heard voices just like you and me. He didn't want to leave you."
He didn't want to listen to the Voice, but maybe the therapist would get a second call….maybe, after a shower, sleep, food, more sleep, more food...oh and sex…..hopefully, but probably not...sex. Maybe calling the therapist. "Shit I'm tired."
He watched the darkness. He blinked then squeezed his eyes shut for as long as he dared then opened them trying to clear the haze of dehydration, and missing who knows how many doses of his meds.
"I know I saw it." He muttered to himself.
He was sure of it in the moment; a white-hot glow of light far down the tunnel. A familiar sound that brought back the silo; his mind conjured up possibilities, the kind that made him sick. But what little rational thought he had left told him it was a trolley. Then again...first impressions.
"Only a matter of time, Soldier."
But the light reappeared, far along the abandoned tracks where they had just come from. It was too bright to be a flashlight, the tracks were destroyed so not a trolley. He started walking...deeper and deeper into the tunnel. It seemed as if the light was moving as well, coming for him. He blinked again; it was still there, moving forward; he could almost hear the arc reactor.
He took a chance and spoke: "I knew I saw you."
"I know I've got no right to ask favors but could we not do this in front of Steve?"
The light kept moving unrelentingly towards him, seemingly ignoring his words.
"Guess all that redemptive work was for nothing...aannd you still haven't fucked Steve."
"What are you doing Buck?" Steve had followed him.
"Nothing." He startled at Steve's voice and turned around.
"Who were you talking to?"
"You know, the Voice in my head. I'm always talking to him." When he looked back; there was only darkness.
"Let's get out of here." Steve slipped himself close against Bucky, his hand curled across his belly; his mouth brushed against his ear; he tugged at him, snaked a leg around his leg, making them both stumble backward away from the blackness they had just survived. "No more, Buck….let it go." His whispered words warmed Bucky's skin and distracted him enough to turn away from what he believed was the inevitable end of his redemption mission. Facing Tony Stark.
Steve had been listening to Bucky talk to his Voices for a few months now. The current conversation was nothing like what he'd heard. He'd seen the same white-hot light as well. He knew who was waiting. And he was going to move heaven and earth to protect him. Even if it meant lying to him.