Chapter of Insurgent (the actual book): 11

Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent series or any of the characters

The guards surround us, but they don't handcuff us, as they walk us to the elevator bank. I know that I need to stay quiet, but Tris obviously doesn't get the message. She continues to ask questions until we get in the elevator car.

We go to the third level, where they take us into a small room with a white marble floor. They lock us in the room, and I take a seat on the bench, trying to think, but I can't with Tris pacing back and forth, biting her lip.

"Can you please calm down?" I snap eventually, unable to watch her like this. "You're making me nervous."

"This is me calming down," she says matter-of-factly.

I lean forward. "The wound in your lip begs to differ," I say, using the same tone as her. She sits down next to me, hugging herself smaller and smaller into a ball. I try to ignore the fact that this room feels like it's getting smaller and smaller, and the pounding of my heart echoes through my ears. I know something is bothering me, and it isn't just the room.

Tris is hiding something from me.

"Sometimes," I say as calmly as I can, "I worry that you don't trust me."

"I trust you," she says, a little too fast.

"Just seems like there's something you're not telling me. I told you things…" I shake my head. "I would never have told anyone else. Something's been going on with you, though, and you haven't told me."

"There's been a lot going on," she says evasively. "You know that. And anyway," she says, changing the subject, "what about you? I could say the same thing to you."

I run my fingers softly over her cheek, pressing into her hair.

"If it's about your parents," I say softly, "tell me and I'll believe you."

I see fear spark in her eyes as she responds, "That's all it is."

I don't let the disappointment show. "Okay," I say, a small, fake smile pressed on my lips as I kiss her. Then, and only then do I let the pain flood in my eyes.

I can't believe that Beatrice Prior would lie to me.

The door opens and five people file in. Two Candor with guns, an older Candor man, a young Dauntless woman (who looks vaguely familiar but I can't put a name to it) and Jack Kang, representative of Candor.

"They told me you seemed confused about why you were arrested," he says, his voice flat. "To me that means either you're falsely accused or good at pretending. The only—"

Tris cuts Jack Kang off. "What are we accused of?"

Jack Kang smiles. "He is accused of crimes against humanity. You are accused of being his accomplice."

"Crimes against humanity?" I snap, finally letting the anger flood through my voice. "What?"

"We saw the footage of the attack," he says. "You were running the attack simulation."

"How could you have seen footage? We took the data," I say.

"You took one copy of the data. All the footage of the Dauntless compound recorded during the attack was also sent to other computers throughout the city. All we saw was you running the simulation and her nearly getting punched to death before she gave up. Then you stopped, and had a rather abrupt lovers' reconciliation, and stole the hard drive together. One possible reason is because the simulation was over and you didn't want us to get our hands on it."

"The simulation didn't end," Tris says, almost laughing. "We stopped it, you—"

Kang holds up a hand, cutting her off. "I am not interested in what you have to say right now. The truth will come out when you are both interrogated under the influence of truth serum."

I tense slightly, but I'm nowhere close to as nervous as Tris is.

"Truth serum?" she shakes her head. "No. No way."

"There's something you have to hide?" Kang asks, and I turn slightly to look at Tris. She takes a deep breath and shakes her head.

"All right, then. It is now noon. The interrogation will be at seven. Don't bother preparing for it. You can't withhold information while under the influence of the truth serum."

He turns and leaves.

"What a pleasant man," I snort.

And then we sit in silence.

At around four, we are taken and allowed to shower. I cut my hair and put on black Dauntless clothes. Finally, they take me into a room and leave me with some food. I sit there alone for a moment until Tris comes in.

Seeing her, dressed all in black like she used to be, sparks old memories for me.

See, I have always believed that everyone has a moral curse. In some cases, like that of Marcus, the moral curse can be controlled, changed, hidden. His moral curse is perfection. He will always be a perfectionist, a high government position, a pretty wife, and a good son, all which bow down to his and will stop at nothing to bring Heaven down to Earth for him. And Evelyn and I didn't quite fit into that image, so he took it in his own hands to make us fit. He saw us as malleable, weak humans that must do his bidding, and that was his curse.

Evelyn's curse was selfishness. How she ended up in Abnegation, I don't know (or want to know) but she certainly didn't belong there. All that she has in mind is her own best interests, which explains why she left her only son in the hands of Marcus (which, in a sense, is almost as inexcusable as Marcus's actions). Come to think of it, Evelyn doesn't belong in any of the factions. She is too violent for Amity, too stupid for Erudite, too cunning for Candor, too cowardly for Dauntless, and much too selfish for Abnegation. She belongs with the factionless.

It was during Stage Two of the Dauntless initiation that I realised Tris's curse. Her curse is more like the other kind, one that can't be controlled, just like her. She was cursed with her own Divergence. She likes to think of herself as unimportant, normal, like she can just sink into life and let it absorb her, like she can hide away and never stand out, but, you see, for someone like Tris, this is impossible. She is nothing but special, all she does is stand out, and she doesn't want it, but she has a rare and special gift that so few have. She has the potential for bravery, and selflessness, and intelligence, and honesty, and kindness, and that is so rare, and so important. But she doesn't know how to control her power, she doesn't know how to accept that she is, really and truly, exceptional, and in her ignorance she is hurting the people she loves.

However, I never knew my curse until right this second. My curse, which is also my blessing, is my knack for suspicion. I once told Tris that I was deeply suspicious of people, in general, and that has not allowed me to get close to people. Of course, it has also protected me. It's like a wall, and the wall keeps out emotional pain and hurt, but it also keeps out the good stuff, like happiness and love. Tris had been beginning to take down my wall, to help cure my curse, but of course, this is one of the problems with her own personal curse.

She has no idea how in love with her I am, and she has no idea how much she hurts me.

Suddenly, I realise she is staring at me and I open my mouth. "Hungry?" I ask, before I realise what I am saying. I hand her a sandwich and we both sit down and eat. We eat everything on the plate, and then we lie down on the floor, and I feel her shoulder dig into mine.

"What are you afraid of saying?" I whisper, turning to her.

"Any of it," she responds. "All of it. I don't want to relive anything."

All I do is nod.

We lie there for a while until Tris dozes off and I still lie there, her head on my shoulder, and I feel like smiling, but I can't. Not while she's lying to me.

After several hours of lying there, a few Dauntless members burst into the room, several I don't recognise, but I see Christina hugging Tris.

"Got shot," Tris says. "Shoulder. Ow."

"Oh God!" Christina lets go of Tris. "Sorry, Tris."

I see pain in Christina's eyes and guilt in Tris's.

"You okay?" Christina asks. "I heard you were here so I asked to escort you. I know you didn't do it. You're not the traitor."

"I'm fine," Tris says. "And thank you. How are you?"

"Oh, I'm…" Christina's voice trails off. "Did anyone tell you… I mean, maybe now isn't the time, but…"

"What? What is it?"

Christina looks down at her feet. "Um… Will died in the attack," she says softly.

The look of guilt on Tris's face is apparent, and it only grows. I close my eyes softly, trying to think back to the monitors.

And then I remember it. I remember watching Tris run down the walkways and shooting Will.

Oh.

Oh God.

This explains everything. Why she doesn't want to use truth serum, what she isn't telling me, why she's been acting so different. Oh, God, Tris shot Will.

"I know," Tris whispers. "I saw him on the monitors when I was in the control room. I'm sorry, Christina."

I take back what I earlier stated about honesty, Tris doesn't have it. Maybe I wouldn't be so angry if Tris had just told the truth, but why the hell is she lying? It's going to come up in the truth serum!

"Oh," Christina says, nodding. "Well, I'm… glad you already knew. I really didn't want to break the news to you in a hallway."

We continue walking down the hallway and Tris and Christina make some aimless chatter that I don't listen to.

Tris shot Will.

"Is everyone else all right?" she says. "Uriah, Lynn, Marlene?"

"All here," Christina responds. "Except Uriah's brother, Zeke, who is with the other Dauntless."

If I thought that I couldn't possibly be more shocked, I was wrong. I was so, so wrong.

Zeke?

I guess today is 'Throw a Surprise Secret on Tobias' day and I just didn't get the memo.

"What?" Tris asks, shocked as I am.

"I know," she says. "No one saw it coming."

We are lead down a black marble hallway and through a set of double doors, and I take Tris's hand in my own. We are lead to the center of the room.

"My name is Niles," an old man says. "I will be your questioner. You—" he points towards me. "You will be going first. So if you will please step forward…"

I squeeze Tris's hand and then release it, and I step in his direction.

"The injection site is in your neck," Niles says matter-of-factly, and he hands me and antiseptic wipe, which I use, and then he needles me and it goes dark.