Four-given chapter 12
A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a week! I've been trying to figure out where I'm going with this story, and I think I have it! I'll try to update more frequently, but I can't make any promises :/
Anyway, as a reward for your patience, here is a really long chapter!
Chapter of Insurgent (the actual book): 12
Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent trilogy or any of the characters
"I will ask you a series of simple questions so that you can grow accustomed to the serum as it takes full effect," Niles says. "Now. What is your name?"
It feels as though there are two parts of me. On the one hand, I want to burst out my full name, as well as everything I know and then some. On the other hand, I know that I must keep my mouth shut.
"Four," I say, through gritted teeth. It isn't a lie, not really. That has been my name for the last two years!
"That is a nickname," says Niles. "What is your real name?"
I grit my teeth further, knowing that God and everyone else is watching me. "Tobias," I mumble. And I hear gasps of shock. Oh, JOY!
"Did you know that?" Christina whispers to Tris. She nods.
"What are the names of your parents, Tobias?" Niles asks.
I bite down on my lip, trying to force myself not to start sobbing and spilling their life story. "Why is this relevant?" I ask, earning the mutters and glares from the Candor around me.
"Maybe it wasn't relevant before, Tobias, but it is now that you've resisted answering the question. The names of your parents, please."
I close my eyes. "Evelyn and Marcus Eaton."
I hear gasps of shock and clamor arise and I keep my eyes closed, sealing the rare tears in. No one will see me cry, because they do not know how weak I am. They believe I am strong, and I would like it to stay that way.
"So," Niles continues once the silence is back. "You are a faction transfer, are you not?"
"Yes," I mumble.
"You transferred from Abnegation to Dauntless?"
"Yes," I snap. "Isn't that obvious?"
"One of the purposes of this interrogation is to determine your loyalties, so I must ask: Why did you transfer?"
I glare at Niles, and I bite down as hard as I can on my lip, drawing blood on the inside of my lip. I close my eyes, trying not to spill. With every drawing question it gets harder. Finally, I can't do it anymore.
"To protect myself," I say softly. "I transferred to protect myself."
"Protect yourself from what?"
I close my eyes in defeat. The Candor have won. "From my father."
I expect more questions to come, but they don't. "Thank you for your honesty," Niles says, and all the Candor repeat it.
"Is your allegiance with your current faction, Tobias?" Niles asks.
"My allegiance lies with anyone who does not support the attack on Abnegation," I respond.
Niles sighs. "Speaking of which," he says, "I think we should focus on what happened that day. What do you remember about being under the simulation?"
"I was not under the simulation, at first," I respond. "It didn't work."
Niles laughs. "What do you mean, it didn't work?"
"One of the defining characteristics of the Divergent is that their minds are resistant to simulations," I say, not really aware of how deep in I am getting. "And I am Divergent. So no, it didn't work."
I vaguely hear Niles tell everyone to shut up.
"Now," he says to me. " When you say 'resistant to simulations,' what do you mean?"
"Usually, it means we're aware during simulations," I say. "But the attack simulation was different, using a different kind of simulation serum, one with long-range transmitters. Evidently the long-range transmitters didn't work on the Divergent at all, because I awoke in my own mind that morning."
"You say you weren't under the simulation at first. Can you explain what you meant by that?"
"I mean that I was discovered and brought to Jeanine, and she injected a version of the simulation serum that specifically targeted the Divergent. I was aware during that simulation, but it didn't do much good," I respond.
"The video footage from the Dauntless headquarters shows you running the simulation," Niles says darkly. "How, exactly, do you explain that?"
"When a simulation is running, your eyes still see and process the actual world, but your brain no longer comprehends them. On some level, though, your brain still knows what you're seeing and where you are. The nature of this new simulation was that it recorded my emotional responses to outside stimuli," I say, closing my eyes, "and responded by altering the appearance of that stimuli. The simulation made my enemies into friend, my friends into enemies. I thought I was shutting the simulation down. Really I was receiving instructions about how to keep it running."
"We have seen footage of what ultimately happened to you in the control room," says Niles, "but it is confusing. Please describe it to us."
You aren't the only one confused.
"Someone entered the room, and I thought it was a Dauntless soldier, trying to stop me from destroying the simulation. I was fighting her, and…" I scowl. So maybe that isn't the absolute truth, but it's close enough. If I tell them that I believed the simulation was good, they'll arrest us both. "… and then she stopped, and I got confused. Even if I had been awake, I would have been confused. Why would she surrender? Why didn't she just kill me?" I find Tris's eyes and ask the silent question. Why didn't you just kill me?
"I still don't understand," I say softly, "how she knew it would work." I sigh. "I think my conflicted emotions confused the simulation," I say. "And then I heard her voice. Somehow, that enabled me to fight the simulation."
I see Tris close her eyes. In disappointment?
"I recognized her, finally," I say. "We went back into the control room and stopped the simulation."
"What is the name of this person?" Niles asks me.
"Tris," I say, smiling a little. "Beatrice Prior, I mean."
"Did you know her before this happened?"
"Yes."
"How did you know her?"
"I was her instructor," I say. "Now we're together."
"I have a final question," Niles says. "Among the Candor, before a person is accepted into our community, they have to completely expose themselves. Given the dire circumstances we are in, we require the same of you. So, Tobias Eaton: what are your deepest regrets?"
"I regret…" I close my eyes. No. Don't say it. "I regret my choice."
"What choice?"
"Dauntless," I say quietly. "I was born for Abnegation. I was planning on leaving Dauntless, and becoming factionless. But then I met her, and… I felt like maybe I could make something more of my decision."
I see Tris's jaw drop. Yes, you are my her. You are my everything, and my always and my forever. Don't you see that? I hate my parents, I hate my faction, I hate my life. The only thing I love is you.
Did I just say that out loud? No, I don't think so, she doesn't appear to be frightened. I close my eyes and pretend the thought never came.
"Choosing Dauntless in order to escape my father was an act of cowardice," I say. "I regret that cowardice. It means I am not worthy of my faction. I will always regret it."
"Thank you for your honesty."
I get up and Tris takes the chair. There is a short altercation about the needle, but I can't really hear much. All I hear is the blood in my ears. I take my spot next to Christina, and she stares up at me, her jaw on the floor.
"Close your mouth," I say sternly, and she does.
"What is your name?" Niles asks Tris.
"Beatrice Prior," she says immediately. Dammit, Tris! Stay strong!
"But you go by Tris?"
"I do."
"What are the names of your parents, Tris?"
"Andrew and Natalie Prior."
"You are also a faction transfer, are you not?"
She frowns. "Yes," she says, thinking for a minute. Finally, she makes eye contact with me and recognition flashes in her face. She needs to get better at this whole serum thing, and fast.
"You came from Abnegation? And chose Dauntless?"
"Yes," she says tersely.
"Why did you transfer?"
She sits there for a moment, thinking about it. "I wasn't good enough for Abnegation, and I wanted to be free. So I chose Dauntless."
"Why weren't you good enough?"
"Because I was selfish," she responds.
"You were selfish? You aren't anymore?"
"Of course I am," she says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "My mother says everyone is selfish, but I became less selfish in Dauntless. I discovered there were people I would fight for. Die for, even."
"Tris, would you please tell us what happened the day of the attack?"
"I woke up," she says, "and everyone was under the simulation. So I played along until I found Tobias."
"What happened after you and Tobias were separated?"
"Jeanine tried to have me killed, but my mother saved me. She used to be Dauntless, so she knew how to use a gun. She distracted the Dauntless soldiers so I could get away, and they killed her. I kept running, and…" she begins to struggle. Will. Say it, Tris. And then you found Will.
She doesn't say it.
"And I found my brother and father," she says, voice strained. "We formed a plan to destroy the simulation." She clutches the armrest. "We infiltrated the Dauntless compound, and my father and I went up to the control room. He fought of Dauntless soldiers at the expense of his life. I made it to the control room and Tobias was there."
"Tobias said you fought him, but then stopped. Why did you do that?"
Now she'll answer my question. "Because I realized that one of us would have to kill the other, and I didn't want to kill him."
"You gave up?"
"No! No, not exactly. I remembered something I had done in my fear landscape in Dauntless initiation… in a simulation, a woman demanded that I kill my family, and I let her shoot me instead. It worked then. I thought… I was so frantic, but all I could think was that there was something to it; there was a strength in it. And I couldn't kill him, so I had to try."
"So you were never under the simulation?"
"No. No," she says again. "No, I am Divergent."
"Just to clarify, are you telling me that you were almost murdered by the Erudite… and then fought your way into the Dauntless compound… and destroyed the simulation?"
"Yes."
"I think I speak for everyone, when I say that you have earned the title of Dauntless."
Whoops and cheers come from the Dauntless and I smile a little.
"Beatrice Prior, what are your deepest regrets?"
"I regret…"
Her eyes drift to mine, but I can't look at her. Not while she hides the information about Will.
"Will," she gasps. "I shot Will, while he was under the simulation. He was going to kill me, but I killed him. My friend."
I look down at my feet.
"Thank you for your honesty."