Disclaimer: See Prologue
Chapter 13: Twins

= The system always feels like my thoughts are being lifted from my mind...like I am injecting heroin into my veins and receiving an opiate euphoria... =

Her arms still stung from the burns, but the LCL was quickly healing her superficial injuries.

"Rei, you have to end early today. There's already been another invasion."

Commander Ikari entered the LCL chamber room and ended the clone memory backup program. The Dummy Plugs would have to wait another week, this was another Angel invasion.

He brought Rei out of the treatment, and she took uncharacteristic initiative in starting a conversation. "Commander Ikari, Unit 00 is still out of service, I am unable to sortie until that changes."

"Yes, I know, your purpose today is to wait in reserve and record the Second and Third's performance. Either of them could be incapacitated during the operation.

"Yes Sir."

Hyuga was the first to compile a report.

"The Cruiser Haruna has sonar pings and visual sightings of a bipedal creature moving through the Sea of Japan. Our automated interception systems are only operating at 26 percent capacity, and the JSSDF is performing disaster recovery after the Eighth's explosion and flooding."

Misato thought out a quick and simple intercept. "We'll mount a progressive, coordinated assault to prevent this thing from making land. Shinji and Asuka will both be launched and will attack with their feet wet."

Asuka just happened to be complaining out loud over an open channel. "Why the hell do I have to be out here with this Idiot?! I can kill this thing fast without Third over here holding me back."

Shinji tried to preemptively heal any bad blood between the two. "It's just standard procedure. Since there's three Evas in Japan right now, we can afford to launch two of us out and still have Rei in reserve."

"You listen to me, Third Child! You will not bring up Doll Girl again and you will not get in my way! I'm killing this thing without you!" = That will prove to Misato that I'm the only Pilot NERV needs. =

The flying wings released the Eva Units as they skydove to land on the beachhead where power and weapons were waiting for them.

Shinji got the first look at the broad-shouldered humanoid. "Hey, Misato, this thing looks like the Fourth, doesn t it?"

"Yes, I can see that, maybe this one will turn out easier than that fight."

Asuka grapped a five-story tall spear. "ALRIGHT, TIMES UP! LET'S DO THIS! Hey Third, cover my back!"

"Oh my God Misato! She just ran in!"

"I see that, Shinji! Dammit Asuka, stick to the plan!"

Shinji grabbed a rifle and unloaded into the Angel as Asuka sliced it clean in two. "See, I didn't need you at all, Third."

Shinji was impressed..."Well I'll be damned"... until the two halves of the Angel regenerated into two separate beings, who procedded to give an oldschool beatdown to both Eva Units.

"goddammit Asuka."

'THIS IS PATHETIC' The televsision in the Pilot's ready room repeated the Tokyo-3 City Commissioner's words on the last attack, which ended with Shinji and Asuka both beaten by the Ninth Angel's twin subgrowths.

"Oh please. Third here ruined every single one of my attempts, I could have taken them both out if he didn't get in the way!"

"ME?! You balatantly disregarded Misato's operation and abandoned protocol just to jerk your own ego! We were sent out as a team, and you're so obsessed with grabbing the credit for that fight that you got us both nearly killed!"

Professor Fuyutsuki spoke over the arguing teens. "Enough! After the Ninth Angel overpowered both Unit 01 and 02, operational command was handed over to the JASDF, who attacked the angel with an ICBM loaded with an N2 warhead. The explosiion burned away 28 percent of the Angel's biomass, but failed to eliminate it. They vaporized a mountain because you screwed up; we're going to have to redraw the map again. It is expected to fully heal in 10 days..." He turned to Shinji and Asuka. "YOU TWO! What is your purpose at NERV?"

Asuka timidly answered "...to pilot Eva?"

"NO! You are here to kill Angels, but instead you publicly humiliate us in front of the Japanese Military and the United Nations! You have no idea how lucky you are that Commander Ikari isn't overseeing operations today. You two have 10 days to kill this abomination, and if you fail I'll have you both transferred from the GeoFront to what's left of Antarctica!" He stormed out of the room, and Asuka was terrified of the generally reserved and polite professor.

"Kaji, why was he exploding like that?" She brought her best 'innocent teenage girl' act out on him, an act that he didn't fall for.

"Asuka, the Professor is trying to protect NERV's credibility. Essentially, our only purpose at the moment is the elimination of the Angel threat, and if we fail at that, there's no reason for the UN not to shut us down..."

Shinji spoke up. "Hey, Kaji, shouldn't Misato be here at the debrief?"

"She has to handle the official response, it's part of being operations director. Trust me, you're lucky that you're the Eva pilot in this situation."

Misato just happened to be sitting in her office with several thousand complaints, reports, reprimands, inquiries, and insurance bills in front of her when Ritsuko walked in with a portable drive.

"I'm amazed you haven't been demoted back to butterbar yet. Still, when Commander Ikari hears about this, you're probably out of a job."

"Tell me you're here to save my career and not to mock me."

"No, I'm here to mock you; it's the pervertedly handsome man that hangs around you that just saved your career." Ritsuko handed Misato the drive. "Kaji developed a plan to kill that thing for good this time. You really ought to think of some way to thank him in the future" Ritsuko answered, giving Misato a dirty smirk, and Misato steamed in response.

Shinji made it back to the apartment to find Misato had come home early. She had Asuka with her to call a family meeting.

"You two are going to have to go back out there 10 days from now. Now Kaji has developed a plan to eliminate the Angel-"

Askua heard Kaji's name and started fangirling. "Of course Kaji knows what to do! He's so smart, and strong, and handsome an-"

"Dammit Asuka pay attention! This operation is going to require complete precision and cooperation between the two of you, so for the next 10 days you're going to eat, breathe, learn, repeat, and choreograph each other's routines, habits, and behavior. You're going to become each other-"

"WHAT?! I'm not doing anything related to this disgusting idiot's 'habits'!"

"If it means destroying the Angel, you certainly will, and your training starts...now." She handed out dance exercise outfits and started playing a classical peice on her stereo. "Four days from now, you two are pulled out of school and you train together exclusively. For now, you will listen and learn this piece of music for when my new dance mat system gets here."

The first couple of days didn't involve much change. They still attended class and afternoon trainings, but they were ordered to pair up for everything they did, something their classmates didn't fail to notice, especially when Asuka had one of her legendary meltdowns...

"WHY DIDN'T YOU COOK FOR US?!"

"I - I had to finish my homework this morning! I didn't have time last night after training..."

"That's great, you get your stupid homework done and I get to starve!"

Touji cut in. "Hey Look! The newlyweds are fighting!" The entire class broke down into hysterical laughter.

Shinji and Asuka shouted as one. "You shut your damn mouth!"

The Eskrima trainer was puzzled at Misato's request.

"Ma'am, we spar one-on-one here. Pitting them both against Ayanami isn't how the discipline is founded."

"I know that. These two are training for a specific operation where they'll be fighting as one unit. We've got no time for them to act independently. Besides, Rei will proabbly beat them both anyway."

"...I don't like this, but alright. Students get on the mats! make some extra room for these three!"

Shinji and Asuka fought Rei, who was wielding two practice knives against them, for dozens of rounds they fought, repeatedly losing due to Asuka's abrasive unwillingness to fight together, but as she saw her antagoism becoming the cause for the losses, she grudgingly began to work with Shinji, moving around, over and under Rei, blocking and interfering until Shinji scored a knife strike while both of Rei's hands were distracted by Asuka's newfound aggression.

"Alright, we won and I've had enough of this, you two basket cases have fun together."

"She still refuses to work with you, Pilot Ikari."

"I know, but unless Unit 00 gets fixed fast, we're going to have to do something about it..."

"Alright you two, since princess over there ran away, continue sparring."

Shinji and Rei bowed, and she struck forward only to find Shinji on his knees with both arms high and grasped around her knife hand. He pulled her over his head into a flip. She landed with a thud on her back with Shinji grinning like an idiot and offering her a hand up.

"You were right last time, Rei, I'm aware of your skill now, and unlike Aikido, Eskrima does not focus on active defense. Sometimes a good offense isn't always the best defense."

The trainer watched the creative solution. "Good enough for today, Ikari, but you're still training here for knife skills, remember that."

Touji was worshipping at the altar of the junk food gods at lunch the next day. "Thank You, God, for lunch! It's the only good thing about school there is!" Touji gleefully skipped into the class, his arms loaded to the brim with sandwiches and snack food. Asuka had told Shinji that she wouldn't tolerate his presence another moment and took her lunch and darted off to eat alone when Hikari walked up to her.

"Umm, Asuka? Can I sit with you today?"

"...I guess...but I don't have enough to share."

Hikari giggled and sat down, gushing about the headstrong pilot while Asuka glanced over to see Shinji walking up to Rei's desk. = Of course Idiot is trying to score with the doll. =

"Rei?"

She turned from from the window and looked up to him, holding two boxed lunches. "Why don't you ever eat at school?"

"I do not have a stocked kitchen. I eat at NERV."

"What would you say if I started cooking for you? I already do for Misato and Asuka, so..."

"I assume you made one of those for me, anyway."

"Oh, uh, yeah, I did. I made fried tofu cubes with carrots and sea grass, I know you're a vegetarian, so..."

"I appreciate it. This is very kind of you; I know it will be as good as your other cooking."

Shinji, overcome with relief that she didn't just send him away, set their two meals up on her desk and happily ate with her. "Rei, you told me you don't have to worry about class, what do you look at all day?"

"You are referencing my gaze out the window, I presume? I enjoy the outdoors. The sky and treeline is much more pleasant than looking at the blackboard for hours and hours."

"Oh. My. God." Asuka growled out.

Hikari looked over her shoulder. "What is it?...Is that Shinji and Rei? Ohhh, they look adorable together!"

"Yeah right. Hikari, I think I just lost my appetite."

Ritsuko spoke into the simulator. "Kaji desgned this scenario personally. If you follow the choreography and music down to the step, the Angel should fall exactly as we planned."

"Now, you two will be practicing for the next six hours." Ritsuko leaned back and enjoyed the music.

The time had come for the training to become...close, very close. Misato kept them home, and she didn't let Shinji/Asuka contact the outside world; the redheaded devil swore to pay Misato back for joining the Idiot at her hip.

"I'm just worried about Shinji, you know...It's been three days."

Touji and Kensuke made it up to Misato's floor when Hikari appeared on the next elevator.

"Hikari? What are you doing out here, Class Rep?"

"I'm checking up on Asuka, she's missed three days."

"Waitaminute...Shinji's been gone three days too, and we're looking for him...What the hell is going on?!"

They rung Misato's doorbell and found Shinji/Asuka, both dressed in exercise wear and talking in unison.

"It's awful! Misato's making us eat, breathe, and sleep together!" Shinji/Asuka answered.

Hikari panicked. "You're living in Sin!"

"What? No! Misato's making us train like this!"

"That makes absolutely no sense!" Hikari shouted.

"Hi kids!" The aforementioned brunette walked up with Rei.

"Misato, what's going on with these two?" Touji asked while Hikari panicked.

"Just come inside and watch!"

All the classmates were laughing hysterically as Asuka tripped and screwed up the dance training, then flipping out at Shinji. "I can't take it anymore. I can't forcibly stoop to the level this walking turd lives at!"

Misato was not impressed. "Asuka, are you giving up?"

"Well, since you have nobody else to do this..." She trailed off as she saw Misato looking over to her right.

"Rei?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Would you try?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Rei got up, grabbed a headset and she and Shinji proceeded to go through the dance mat routine without an single hiccup.

The kids were amazed, Misato even more so. = Well, no wonder that boy is wrapped around her little finger. = "It looks like I'll have to pair Shinji and Rei up for the job."

Askua wasn't happy at all. "What!?" Her voice quivered. "How can they do it?" She panicked and broke down. "I can't take this anymore!" She ran out of the room.

"I don't believe it...even the Devil can cry." Touji unsympathetically observed.

"Asuka, wait! SHINJI! You jerk!" Hikari started barking at him. "You made her cry! Go apologize!"

"...What did I do?!"

"Go find her!"

He found her junk food scavenging at the convinence store at the base of Misato's building.

"Don't say anything, Third. Of course I'm going to keep piloting."

"Look, Rei and I knew each other and worked together long before you moved here, it's not that wierd that we did well together."

"It is for me! I am not going to come in second! Not behind Wondergirl, not Misato, not anyone!"

Shinji couldn't help but smile. Asuka's hotheadedness did give her the drive to be the best, even if it gave her nothing else.

Two more days passed. Shinji was in his room as Asuka walked in.

"One more night to go, Shinji...Where's Misato?"

"She told me she'd be inspecting the bomb blast one last time-" He froze as Asuka knelt down close beside him.

"A-Asuka what are you doing?"

"Well, we could both die tomorrow, wanna make it worthwhile?"

"What!? Why? I mean, that's a little above us..."

"Are you seriously incapable of having fun? You live with two women and you act like an abused puppy!"

"Because you do abuse me."

"Shouting and headslaps aren't abuse, Shinji. They're to get you to start acting like a man! There's nothing worse than a housebroken male!"

"Misato and Rei don't think so...And I'm not 'housebroken'. I like being polite and helpful-"

"And everybody'll just walk all over you, wimp! Hmm, well, maybe the Doll won't, but she's even weaker than you are! Since Misato's gone, Im going to my own room, tonight!"

Shinji wanted to be friends. = Why does she hate me...and Rei? If we don't work together, then we die...It doesn't matter if I do or don't act 'manly', it's more important than that! =

The operation was launched when the Ninth Angel awoke and moved towards the city.

"All right you two! 62 seconds is the time we trained for, don't go a minute over! Fire the power cable, batteries on!"

The music started; the Evas were launched out of the catapult. They speared the Ninth Angel, it separated, and they simultaneously abused each half until it was enraged and reformed into one. The two Evas jumped high into a falling kick, breaking the twin cores apart with little effort. The Evas absorbed the explosion, landing in a heap on top on each other.

"YOU DEGENERATE PERVERT! How dare you violate my perfect Unit 02 like that!"

"Me? You collapsed on top of Unit 01! You should be the one apologizing!"

Fuyutsuki looked down from NERV's bridge. "Those kids are making a laughing stock of this place..."

A/N: So this story won't be based completely on rebuild...*evil laughter*
A/N 2: LEEEEEROY JENNNKINS!