Hello ladies! I'm back after a serious case of writers block. I feel proud, I love this chapter and it's quite longish as well! Definitely a good feeling.
Sorry for not adding my little shououts today, but it is quite late already and I wanna go to sleep.
However, thanks to those who read and followed my one shot, Rocking the playboy mansion! Just have to say wow. If no one wants to take over for me, I promise to make it into a multichapter fiction after finishing with this one.
Enjoy yourselves and thanks to the reviews, they make me wanna update faster than I can.
Summery: Stepmonster 2.0
Beca grew up with her mum after her father left them. She lost contact to him a while ago but now he wants to bond again. Why? Well she has to find out, but why does she have to go to Barden, where he's teaching when she wants to have a go at being a DJane in LA? Bonding, with her father and his new family? Now that is something she doesn't want to do, more so since she knows that her stepsister, or how she prefers to call the unknown girl, stepmonster 2.0 is attending Barden as well.
Pairing: Beca/Chloe and Friendship: Chloe/Aubrey and Jesse/Beca
Disclaimer: If I would own Pitch Perfect, there would be Bechloe!
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Chapter 16: A Trip to the Past
Chloe's PoV:
Beca found me. She found me while no one else was able to. Why? I know I showed her my favourite place, but it's not like it is a big secret, right? I just haven't told Bree about that place because, well, sometimes I have to get away from her, I mean I love her, to bits and pieces, but she can be so annoying sometimes.
So yeah, maybe I really only introduced Beca into my own, private heaven. The thing is, I feel like loving that place more and more and now that I have this beautiful memories of Beca there, that place really has become my sanity.
Sanity. Actually, I feel more like going insane. I still haven't told Beca about me and the obvious elephant in the room seems to be growing by the minute.
Aubrey has made quite a fuss over me and yeah, maybe I was nearly as cold as ice when Beca found me, but declaring war to me? Her best friend? She even wanted to cancel her flight to her dad.
Aubrey took me into the bathroom as soon as the door to our flat was open, starting to undress me like I'm some toddler and really, I felt like one in that moment. The whole car ride she gave me a speech about maturity and responsibility and I felt like crying but there were no more tears left, I guess, I was nearly dehydrated.
But now, standing there in our bathroom, naked, I might add, in front of a fully dressed Aubrey with a stern look made me feel even more vulnerable. She must have sensed my discomfort because her face changed immediately, the crinkles around her eyes softened and the anger left her face. It was then that I recognised the fear that was hidden under her layers. She was afraid, not of me but for me. Fearing the worst over the day, fearing that something could have happened to me.
Bree and I, we protected each other. She is my person, the one I feel comfortable around, the one that can get away with almost everything. The one person I've loved over all those years, in a platonic way, like maybe a sister would love her sister, minus this one month we...you know.
She starts to undress herself and let me tell you, it's not like I have never seen her like that before, but normally we don't share an intense gaze like we are sharing now. She pushes me under the hot shower, not that it is that hot, but my body is so cold that it feels like I am burning.
Erase that last statement, it's more like I'm melting, becoming this fluffy mess of melted ice cream, cherry flavour.
The spray is good, it washes away the tears that had dried on my face and it hides the new ones, spilling freshly over my face. I was so foolish today. I hate myself for what I put Bree through, and Beca. God, Beca. I'm sure she has already left, I wouldn't blame her. Sitting next to Aubrey and me in that car must have been awkward, but she was right there, in the back of the car with me curled up in her side, like a puppy- a lost puppy that she found and I kind of am. I was surprised that she didn't pick a fight with Aubrey, under any other circumstances those two always start bickering, but not this time. It hurt a bit that she didn't protect me from Aubrey, but really, she must have felt like it was right. It was, I deserved that.
Bree is washing me, I just stand there, not moving out of the spray. I think Bree is crying too, I see it in her eyes but even if I asked her, she wouldn't tell me. She rarely cries and maybe that is a good thing. I remember Prom night, when she started to cry uncontrollably she also lost control over her stomach.
Suddenly the images of that day, Bree between throwing up and crying her eyes out, they pop into my head and I can't help but start laughing, a full on, belly hurting laughter.
"Should I be worried? Are you going insane on me? You know, studying to be a doctor also covers a light field of psychology."
Right, my doctor to be. Doc. Posen.
"No, I'm okay. Just thinking of that time, you know."
"No Beale, I don't know. I'm not a mind reader, so please, enlighten me."
"Well, the time you went back and forth between destroying my bed sheets with your tears and ruining my bathroom by throwing up the food of the last week."
"Prom night. Really? I thought we were past that. What in the world has reminded you of that?"
"You." Simple as that.
"Oookay. I take that as a compliment for my naked body."
"Actually, it were the tears in your eyes but yeah, your body is still a killer."
"Thank you, and I'm not crying. I don't cry anymore, you know."
"I know." I know that it's a lie.
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Beca didn't leave. She was standing in our open kitchen by the time Aubrey, a very naked Aubrey might I add, shoved me, only clad into a big towel, into my room. I think I saw her blush bt she averted her gaze so fast that I can't be sure.
Aubrey dressed me into my warmest pjs, they're a light green with white and black sheeps on it and let me say, they're so fluffy. She put me to bed and yet again I feel like a toddler. She puts the towel around herself this time and tries to leave the room, but I won't let her. I don't wanna be on my own so I grab her hand, giving her a pleading look.
"Chloe, I'll be right back, I just need to put some clothes on."
We hear a soft knock on the door.
"Hey, uh, ladies. It's me, Beca, you know, the tiny brunette that is in this a capella group with you. A—are you decent?"
She is so adorable, isn't she. I think I just made a 'cooo' sound by the look Aubrey's giving me.
"Yeah Beca, just come in." Aubrey sighs.
"So—rry. You're still not very decent Aubrey." She averts her eyes. She's just getting cuter and cuter, isn't she?
"Yeah, leaving for my room right now. Can you please stay with Chloe while I'm getting changed?"
Beca only nods and I feel like I'm not in the room. She sits down next to me and it's then that I see her holding on to a bowl.
"Sit up, Chlo. I made you some soup. Don't know if it's eatable, not the best person to be let into a kitchen but I can bake you something if you want? Though, soup is better, yeah, a nice, hot soup. I should stop talking already."
I eat the soup in silence, my eyes wandering back to hers in between spoons. She's right, it's not the best soup I ever ate but it fills my empty stomach, so I eat it all, even drinking the last remains of it out of the bowl.
"Feeling better?"
This time I nod. My voice is still not fully recovered from the stress I put it through today. She takes the empty bowl and makes her way over to the kitchen. I still don't want to be left alone but I don't say anything. She makes me feel save and I just know that she'll be right back.
As I lay back down I hear muffled voices but they grow louder and louder. Seems like those two finally have gone back to their normal behaviour.
"Aubrey, you sure you wanna cancel that flight?"
"Don't doubt my decisions, Beca. You always do that and I hate it."
"This is not a Bellas rehearsal and please, you should listen to me sometimes, or better yet, start to listen to yourself! You behave like an aca-dictator!"
"Excuse you?! I'm not! And my best friend obviously needs me here, so I won't just up and leave!"
I have to interfere. So I get up slowly, making my way to the living room.
"Aubrey, you told me yourself how important it is for you to go see your father. You-"
"Bree, she's right." I take her into a tight embrace. "I'll be okay. Just go and see your father." Whispering I add "go, at least one of us get's to spend christmas with their father."
She pushes me a bit away to look into my eyes. "You sure?"
I nod and she just looks sceptically at me so I nod again, this time with all the confidence I can muster. She takes a deep breath, I can feel her exhale, her breath hitting my face. Then she just looks over my shoulder to where I assume Beca is standing currently. "You're gonna stay with her? Right? Make sure she's behaving."
What am I now? Their child? Mommy Beca and daddy Aubrey, or the other way around? They would be one hell of a crazy couple, but an adorable one, with all their bickering.
"She will be in good hands."
Is it just me or are those two finally finding some common ground to start a friendship on?
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So, Bree left and Beca kinda moved in. That's right. After an awkward night of us three sleeping in my queen sized bed, because I wouldn't let anyone leave, Beca went back to her dorm to fetch some things and Aubrey got ready to head to the airport. That was not an easy task with me clinging to her, constantly.
She calls this 'Chloe's stages of getting better'. First, avoiding any contact, shutting everyone out. Second, getting all clingy and cuddly. Third and last before I go back to normal, according to her, I have a laughing fit that goes on forever, laughing about anything and nothing.
Obviously I am in stage 2 right now.
However, since Bree is out of reach I cling to Beca. We haven't shared another kiss since we got home but we cuddle and I watch her work on her mixes. I decided that it's better if I cook us meals and Beca promised to bake a cake later today.
Today. Today is Christmas Evening, I remember. I still haven't told Beca why I hate that day so much, hate this time of a year. She doesn't push me, though, and that I am grateful for. In between our cuddling session I hear the doorbell ring. Beca has her headphones on, making her deaf to the world. She looks so beautiful when she is lost in her own world. I can't bring myself to disturb her, so I slowly get up and walk over to the door. Upon opening it I see Jesse standing in front of me.
"Hey Chloe. You see my parents kinda cancelled on me last minute so I decided to stay at Barden. I know that Beca stays at yours over christ- urgh over the holidays, so I just thought I pop around and- would it be uhh-"
I decide to help him out of his misery. "Hello there, Jesse. You wanna come in and spent the day here?"
He gives me a big smile. "Yeah, thanks, that would be nice."
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So that is how I ended up sharing my couch with an unhappy Beca and a delighted Jesse. Jesse obviously heard that I am not a big fan of christmas, but I am however a big fan of movies and Jesse happens to have a lot of them. We ate some pizza and laughed a lot. After that we decided to watch 'The Breakfast Club', Jesse stating that it had one of the best movie soundtracks and I agreed immediately. As if on cue, both Jesse and I raised a fist, leading to us laughing even harder.
I felt kind of sorry for Beca, having to put up with us nerds. The bowl of ready made popcorn was shaved into Beca's hands by me, maybe as a kind of peace offering. She is seated between Jesse and me, clearly not enjoying the movie but she puts up with it and I feel like she does it for me. A good feeling, a great one even.
Jesse is not that bad. We laugh over the same movie scenes, cry over the same. He is a good guy, handsome and polite, but still, Beca is sitting closer to me, she chose me. Beca finally hands the popcorn over to Jesse, because really, he is the only one still munching on it.
I take that as an invite to cuddle into Beca, laying my head down on her stomach. I think I see Jesse grinning at Beca, but I focus back on the movie.
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I must have fallen asleep during the second movie, Imagine me and you. Now before you judge me, Jesse picked it and I have seen that one at least a hundred times. Without opening my eyes I turn around, trying to get comfortable. It's then that I recognise that in fact I'm feeling too comfy to be lying on the couch. Opening one eye to peek around me I notice the familarity of my room.
How did I get here? I can see light shining through the cracked open door, someone must still be up. I make my way over to he door, opening it slowly I can make out two figures, making out on my couch. I rubb my eyes, there they are, Beca and Jesse, kissing, heatingly and I think I can make out wandering hands.
I jolt awake. Okay, bad, really bad dream. I look around once more, I'm still in my room and there is light shining through the cracked open door. I feel like I'm having some Groundhog Day experience. Still, I get up and walk over to the door, peeking through I see only Beca this time. I can hear the distant sounds of a man sneering, that must be Jesse. Hoping that I'm awake this time and not asleep where I don't know, a half naked Aubrey or something like that, starts to jump Beca, I open the door completely but not without pinching myself. Seems like I'm awake this time.
Beca is sitting on the couch, working on her laptop, her big headphones on. She looks up at me and pulls her headphones down around her neck.
"Hey, you're awake. Did I wake you?"
"No, just had a bad dream."
"Uhh- you know-uhm. Wanna tell me about it?"
"Rather not." It comes out colder than I wanted.
"Oh, sorry. Still about this whole holiday with the name I won't say thing?"
At that I lightly laugh. She's so adorable.
"Not really. Just my imagination playing tricks on me. What are you doing?"
She gives me a broad smile and for a moment I'm taken aback by how beautiful her smile can be.
"Making a mix for you and Jesse, mostly for you, but don't tell him that."
"I bet you say that to all the girls."
We share a laugh.
"If that was your way of making fun of Jesse I must say I'm impressed. You always have another side to learn about, huh?"
"I won't make it easy for you. So, wanna show me your hard work or do you wanna wait for Jesse?"
"That would take too long. Oh, speaking of Jesse, what would you say if Aubrey found out that a Treble is sleeping in her bed at this moment?"
"I would say, I take this information to the grave with me. So, how did I get into bed?"
"Obviously I have super strenght and...okay, Jesse helped but I put the blanket over you!"
We laugh for a few minutes and I cuddle into her, listening to the track she made. It's a mashup of A bunch of songs, starting with Price Tag, going over to Don't you forget about me then Just the way you are and Give me everything. It's great, the best I've heard of hers so far.
She hands me a flash drive and I look at her, not knowing what she wants.
"I've seen what you can do, I want you to make it perfect. Add all those tiny details. Everything you want. This may be good, but you can make it perfect."
I grab her hand and drag her to my room with me, watching her crawl into my bed I have to smile. She's getting comfortable around me, a really good thing. She holds the blanket up for me, so I hurry up and hopp in beside her, putting the flash drive on my desk. I pull her towards me, feeling relieved as she stops to tense and starts to cuddle into me by herself.
With my empty hand I reach into the drawer of my nightstand, pulling out an old family picture. I hand it over to Beca and try to interpret the change on her facial features.
"Chlo, is that—but there's two of you."
"That's because there were two of me. The one in the blue shirt, that's me. The one next to me, looking like me is, was, my sister, Kate."
"You had a twin?"
So I tell her, I tell her the reason why I hate christmas. She looks lovingly at the picture of Kate, my dad and me, listening intently. My mum took it, the summer before they died.
"I was a daddy's child while Kate preferred to cling to my mother and really, I was the rebellious one of us. That day is perched into my head, I was grumpy and I wanted to stay inside and wait for the christmas celebrations to start but Kate wouldn't have it. It was the first time she wasn't doing as I wanted, normally she would just go along with everything I wanted. They say it's sometimes that way with twins, the younger one following the older one around, until they want to break free and start to rebel against the older twin. I finally relented, telling her that I would go out to play in the snow with her if she finally shuts up."
I take a deep breath. It's been ages since I told anybody about this.
"We were out, playing in the snow for a while. Then I got bored and decided to play a trick on her, hiding behind the trees around the lake. I thought she would look for me, like she always did, but she didn't. I went back to the house, thinking she would have gone back but she didn't. Dad was so mad at me for leaving her alone but mom stood up for me, telling him to calm down. We went looking for her, dad and I. When we found her she was playing on the frozen lake, totally carefree. Shouting at me, that one day she was going to be a dancer. She made some sort of dance move and then the ice broke, the lake swallowing her. Dad run out on the ice, shouting for me to get help. I've never ran this fast before. Mum called for help with her cell while we ran back to the lake. I sat there, I don't know how long, looking out onto the lake waiting for dad to come out with Kate. He didn't.
The policemen and firefighters came, with special equipment, and after a bit of a struggle they pulled the two bodies out of the lake. I was crying, thrashing around, punching everyone that wanted to touch me. Mom was silent, too silent. She tried to be strong for me, but it was never easy, not with me resembling her loss.
I went back on the lake the next week, jumping up and down right on the same spot where Kate had vanished, pleading for it to swallow me too. It never did. I'm not afraid of the water, it gives me this feeling of being reunited with her. Losing your twin makes you go crazy, I see her every time I look into the mirror and I even started to try to be Kate, wanting to make it easier for my mum, but of course that would never help.
Christmas is hard, so hard to survive because one part of me already died. Died on a fucking Christmas Evening and even though my mother never blamed me for what happened that day, I do. Believe me when I say that I would give everything to change places with her."
There is a heavy silence in the room. It seems like Beca doesn't dare to speak, fearing that I'm not done, but I am.
"That sucks. Really. But you know, I'm glad you're here. I need you here."
"Maybe you would have liked Kate as well."
"Maybe, but she would have never been you, Chlo. It's you that I want, I love you."
I pull her flat against me, our legs tangling together, her arms coming around my midsection and mine holding onto her back with a tight grip.
The only feeling I have right now is not grief, it's a feeling of belonging, I belong here.
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End Chapter 16
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