Guys, I'm so very sorry for disappearing like that. My life has been a hell because of all the work Uni gave me. I had no semester break at all and right now I'm using the little free time in between lectures to update.

All that notifications telling me how many new readers this story has have made me so happy and proud and I'm really truly sorry it took so long to update. Adding to that is the fact that this chapter is only a filler but a very much needed one, believe me.

Also, this chapter seemingly clashes with chapter 8 (Becoming Chloe Beale Part 2) but only seemingly. This will be explained later on, probably next chapter. For those of you who have forgotten what chapter 8 was about, I recommend you read it again, at least the first third.

Little shout-outs:

JustLikeBrookeDavis : Thanks for reviewing again! I do hope they can get back together, too. ;)

AlwaysChn : I'm glad your not that sad. This had to happen at some point and I'm proud cause you liked the chapter and I think not many did.

ExpectationsAndDisappointment : To be honest, even I am not sure what I want to happen. I still have mixed feelings but please don't cry. I'm so sorry you had to wait so long for an update.

Shakeyshay69 : Thanks for letting me know, hope you stick around.

KM Rune : I wasn't so sure about it myself, but I did better than I expected myself to do. Hopefully I'm still getting better and will do better in future stories ;)

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Chapter 19: Life goes on

Beca's PoV:

Nearly a month has passed since the semi-finales. I haven't talked to any of the Bellas in all those weeks. It's not their fault, I know that but still I wanna make a cut and which means that I won't jump back into the a capella scene. The only one left is Jesse. He's been a great help to me and I really appreciate his friendship. We've become quite close over the weeks, so much that I even watch a film with him every day or two. It's the least I could do since he constantly gives me reviews of my music, even though he hates the genre I pick from.

All the anger made me choose harder songs than I normally would, I started with Metallica and System of a Down but I'm not shying away from more unknown Bands, even going deep into the Heavy Metal scene. It's my stress relief and Jesse accepts that.

Sometimes I find myself missing the others, and I won't lie, a lot. Especially Denise. She tried to call me a few times and even knocked on my door once, obviously I didn't open up, but eventually she stopped. Damn, I even find myself missing Aubrey! Sometimes, rarely, but still. The only one I really don't miss and I know that it's a horrible thing to say is Chloe. I know I should feel horrible and broken but I can't seem to find those feelings in me. I only feel indifference towards her. She crushed me and it hurt for a few days but then I pulled myself back together. I even go to my classes now and work very hard on acing them. Since I cut myself free from Richard, this time with the approval of my mum, I looked around and decided to work hard and transfer to UCLA. At least I hope I can find my way into music business there.

Talking about Richard, that fool of a man really tried to tell me that he had thought that I knew all this time about his relationship to Chloe. He's gotta be kidding. I mean even if Chloe is dead to me, this seems rather unlikely. He should have mentioned her, he should have.

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"Well, Becs. You sure about that? Maybe he did tell you about her."

Jesse and I are on our third refill of popcorn and the movie ended while we were at our first. I had to vent again but Jesse is patient with me. We're going over my newest mix and he's pointing out things he would change. I'm not a person that likes to be criticised but since I won't have Chloe to look over them and add her finish, I learned to appreciate his way of just mentioning those parts and letting me figure out a solution myself.

"Jesse-"

"Oh, repeat that last part. Yeah, here it seems a bit rough. Sorry, you wanted to say?"

"Rough? Okay, I'll change that part." He looks at me expectantly. "I was going to say that I'm sure he mentioned her once or twice but he never really introduced us, did he?"

"Well, did you give him a chance to?"

"Are you trying to say that it's my fault?!"

"No, just that maybe you wouldn't be in that mess if you went to one of that family gatherings. He would have had to introduce you two. Are you sure you never met her, not even seen her, a picture maybe?"

"No, Jesse. I really can't recall any of this happening. I mean my dad, sorry, I mean Richard, left over seven years ago and since then I haven't seen him more than 4 times before coming to Barden. Even now I've seen him like what, 3 times? And no, no pictures. I always imagined Stepmonster 2.0 to be ugly. I mean Sheila is not ugly per say but Chloe doesn't look a bit like her, you know."

"Beca, I'm really sorry that all this happened and I don't want to sound accusing, I'm just curious. Why didn't you attend one of the Mitchell family dinners?"

That question throws me. I always thought I knew why. I mean I hated my dad for what he did back in the days but I think it was something else holding me back all those years. Question is, am I ready to be this honest with Jesse?

"I hate Richard."

"Really, and that is all the reason? Becaw, I can read you, you know."

"Great." I huff. "I think there is one more reason, I never even admitted this to myself before but I think I was afraid." I stop right there. It all makes sense now.

"Continue, please."

"Afraid that I would see why he choose a new family, afraid of seeing that my stepsister would be a better daughter to him than I was. I was so, shattered and I didn't wanna see him happy, because he made me unhappy and he hurt mom. He tore our family apart and I couldn't live with the image of a perfect family starring him in one of the main roles."

"Beca, when people divorce it is not because they have bad daughters, it's because the love has died."

"No! Mum loved him! You weren't there. They never fought, they were happy and one day he just packed his things and left."

"Are you sure about that? Have you ever talked to your mom about it?"

"No, why should I! I was there Jesse, I've seen it with my own eyes!"

"How old were you when he left? Eleven, maybe twelve? I really think you should talk to your mom about this. Maybe she can give you closure."

I hade to admit it but he's right. "How about you go home for spring break?"

"I can't Jesse, Luke allows me to play my mixes over spring break and I dreamed of that, you know."

"Okay, well. How about I play your mixes for you. I promise I will play nothing else, scouts honour. That means you can visit your mom and people will still be able to listen to your music."

"You would do that for me? Why?"

"That's what friend do, you know."

I can't believe that I'm about to hug him, but I just have to. He's definitely not as bad as I first thought him to be.

"Thank you."

We're silent for a few moments as we look at each other.

"You were a scout?"

And with that we start to break into a right laughing fit. This feels so good, laughing like that, fooling around. Maybe I should have let Jesse in from the beginning and shut Chloe out, at least he knows how to be a friend.

Jesse is looking at me, all the laughter gone. Shit, I said that last part out loud.

"You know Becs, we can't control who we fall in love with."

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End Chapter 19.

Don't behead me guys, I know how short it is but my lecture starts in like, 10 minutes and that means I gotta run and smoke on my way over.

And even a short update is better than no update at all, right?

Please, talk to me some more guys ;)