Here I go again! Two updates in three days, I hope it at least makes up a bit for the lack of updates in the last few weeks. Again, not the longest Chapter ever but longer than the last one. Right now I'm sacrificing my sleepy time to write this. And I get very moody if I don't get enough sleep, believe me.

Little shoutouts:

ShadowCub: Thanks for both the review and the pms. You certainly were on a good path.

JustLikeBrookeDavis : Sorry to disappoint you, not a chapter in Chloe's PoV but the next one should be. Please do reread it and yes, Chloe had a twin. Still, I recommend you check it again. ;)

Amuria21: I believe you forgot your login sweety. Well, you were definitely fooled by the last chapter then. Yay, at least I fooled someone but please, read on and you'll see.

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Chapter 20: A fucked up World

Beca's PoV:

Here I am. Sitting on a shitty train to Phenix City. That's where I'm from, just from the outskirts of town. I just hope Jesse was right with what he said. He even helped me pack my bag, one could think he wanted me gone, geez. However, mom will pick me up at the station and I plan on enjoying my week here before talking to her about Richard.

The train is stopping at yet another station and I can't even begin to describe how much it annoys me that we stop at every goddamn small station on the way. I only chose this train to save money, now I regret that I haven chosen the fast and expensive one.

There was no sign of any Bella before I left and I feel quite relieved because of that fact. Jesse told me that they didn't make it to finals. Damn, I thought that my spontaneity saved us- I mean them. Still, why should I care? Jesse and his idiotic Treblemakers are gonna win , again. A capella is lame, I'm back to my roots. In more than one sense, I guess. Shit, did I just make a joke to myself?

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Mom picked me up and only an hour too late. I think that's new record for her. The only thing I wanted to do was fall in bed right away. It's not like I didn't get to sleep on that ridiculously slow train but my back is hurting like hell and I feel grumpy because of that.

Mom insisted on us cooking together, even though I can't even boil water without burning it. She seems to have planned our whole week. It feels like forever since we enjoyed our time together this much. I really missed this. Us. Just being silly together, like back in the old days.

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It's official now, I've had the best week ever. Not once I thought about Barden and all the bad things that come with it. The only reminder was a dream I had of Chloe. She was screaming at someone and she looked really angry. I don't know if I was the one she screamed at. That dream was kinda creepy and third person perspective like. Anyway, I moved on. The dream is in the past and the past is gone.

This is the last evening mom and I have together which means that I finally have to talk to her. It all sounded so good when Jesse told me about it but I don't know anymore. Mom is the only parent I have left and if this causes a rift between us , well, I don't know what I would do. She's been the one constant thing in my life and except for siding with Richard to get me to going to college she did nothing that wronged me.

Right now we're curled up on the couch together, surrounded by empty takeout bags. We gave up on the cooking experience after we nearly burned the house down on my first evening here. Now you know where I get my cooking skills from, or rather the lack of it.

"Mom, can I talk to you about something serious?"

She laughs. "A badass demands answers, stop asking."

I join her laugh. "Okay, then. When dad left, you were broken. Did you ever see the divorce coming?"

She looks surprised by my question. "I'm sorry I shouldn't tear old wounds."

"No honey. I was just expecting you to ask for advice with the Chloe thing. I'll tell you everything you wanna know. I promised you that when your father left."

"Well, it still has something to do with the Chloe thing, far fetched. So, did you notice something before dad just up and left?"

She is pondering about an answer, I can see that. "You know honey, not everything in the world is black and white. Your father and I have been together a long, long time before we got you. I never told you this, but when I met your father I was in love with his best friend."

"What? Did he know?"

"Yes, it was no secret. I've been in love with his best friend for years and then finally came my chance. We were together for two weeks but then I found out that he only was together with me because Richard told him to get his and I quote "Head out of his ass" and see how good of a catch I am. I left him because I wanted someone who could see what I'm worth, you know. Your father and I stayed in contact and soon became best friends. I still consider him the best friend I ever had, even after all we've gone through. We moved together after college, still, we weren't involved romantically and then one day it just happened. I thought that that's it. I made it. We were happy and then we got you and everything just seemed to be perfect."

"But it wasn't?"

"No, it wasn't. I married my best friend and it was the same for him. We loved each other deeply, but never in the way you should love the one you marry. The one thing holding us together was you. We knew that if one of us would fall in love our world would come crashing down."

"That's when he fell in love with Sheila?"

I guess that's the part of the story I know.

"No, that's when I fell in love with Pete, one of my colleagues. I fought against it for years but one night we got drunk on a business meeting and, well. You're old enough to fill the blank."

Wait, what?! "You were the one who cheated? How old was I then?"

"You were seven at that time."

"But this can't be. Dad left when I was eleven! Eleven!"

"That's the point. Technically I only cheated once but I never told your father. Pete said he would wait for me, wait till you were old enough to cope better. I loved him, so, so very much. Your father found out four years later. Pete died in a car crash and I was ready to die too. Richard stayed with me even after I told him the truth. He stayed the next two months and looked after you and me. But he knew that our illusion was shattered. I wasn't functioning properly anymore so that day he left he told me he would do so in hope that I would come to my senses and start to care for you again, and for me. It worked. You became my everything and I built my pieces back together around you. Richard promised he would return to me when I'm ready."

"Oh. I mean, err. Wow. I guess this is where Sheila comes in."

"Yes, correct. Your dad was lost too, you know. He always needed someone to care for and it hurt him so much that he couldn't be there for us, but I needed to find my own way and you...if he would have taken you with him I know that I wouldn't be here today. You've always been my rock. I don't know how familiar you are with Sheila and Chloe's background, but they needed him and he was there. They fell in love, the good kind of, the real kind of love. He wanted to come back but you already hated him so much for leaving you and I only wanted to see him happy. He was happy with them, he still is. I've seen it when I stayed there last month and I'm glad he is."

"This is so much to process. You know, I think it wasn't the fact that he left me that made me hate him. I always thought he was the reason why you're broken and I always thought that I wasn't a good enough daughter."

"Oh sweety, he loves you. He always adored you and I think he still does so, very much. He misses you and you should visit his office at home. There are so many pictures of you as a child. He complained that he doesn't own any recent made ones."

She stares at me for a few moments, not even blinking. "I don't know what you're going to do about the Chloe thing but maybe you can find a way to at least forgive your father."

"I'll try." We hug each other tight. "Mom, I'm sorry that you lost Pete, I didn't even know."

"You know, I always thought that you'd be angry at me once you found out the truth."

"I couldn't. I get it, maybe I wouldn't have been able to understand it before I went to Barden but I do get it now. It's nobodies fault, it was just a succession of coincidences."

"Does this mean my daughter believes in fate?"

"Maybe. Just maybe."

"You've grown up."

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Here we go again, back at Barden University. The visit was exactly what I needed and while other students used this week to get drunk and probably as high as the high notes I made the first step in the right way. I'm not sure what my next action will be but at least this part of the past is cleared up and I feel so much better now.

I still don't know if I can face Richard after all that has happened but I will consider it. At least Chloe isn't living there anymore, so even if I go see him, she won't be around.

As I walk down the road to my dorm I spot her, Chloe, walking fast into my direction, eyes glued to the floor. She looks horrible, cuts and bruises everywhere I can see. What in the world has happened to her? She looks like she had a fight.

"Chlo..."

Her head snaps up so fast I think I heard a bone crack. She looks longingly at me but then the moment passes and she seems to panic. As fast as her head snapped up it is back down again, eyes shut tight but not tight enough to stop the tears from slipping out.

"Chlo?"

"I'm so sorry!" And with that she storms off.

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Damn that girl! Even though I should hate her I can't seem to stop myself from worrying over her. I try to call Denise, just so someone knows how badly Chloe looked. She doesn't answer my calls and none of the other Bellas does. Great, just great. Well, then I'll just consider it to be not my problem any longer.

Instead, back to focusing on myself. I need to hop over to the radio station and see how my mixes do. Hopefully I'll get to play them again. It still hurts that I wasn't the one to play them first. I jump into my shoes and hurry to the station.

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Upon entering I can already feel that something's not quite right. The place looks like it was overrun by at least a dozen bulls, very angry ones. The shelves and cupboards are fallen over, if not broken. I can see Luke in the booth, obviously queueing up some songs. When he's done he comes out into the mess and notices me.

"Been standing there long?"

"Luke, what the hell happened here?!"

"Well, I would tell you to sit down but it's not really an option in this mess. There are still some things unclear but it seems like your friend Jesse tried to play your mixes, announcing them as his own."

"He did what?! This can't be true!"

"Well, that's the clear part, the unclear part is why."

"And what does this have to do with the state of this room?"

"I was just called here but what I heard is that a pretty redhead has beaten up Jesse because of it."

"What?!" Oh no, Chloe...

"You know that Chloe can be fierce, right?"

"You know each other?"

"Yeah, since kindergarten. Used to play with the twins a lot. Even asked Chloe out to prom but she declined. I thought she was too much of a punk to go but she showed up with Aubrey. Damn, those were times."

"I saw her earlier walking down the street, Luke, she didn't look good. She looked pretty beaten up. How could you let her walk away like that?"

"Like I said, I just got here like thirty minutes ago, by then she was gone. At least Chloe was able to walk, I had to carry that bastard Jesse out myself. He wasn't even able to speak long enough to tell me why he did it."

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Well, so much to trusting the wrong people. What has happened to me? I've always managed to stay unattached and I break my rule for half a year and * zing*, my life is a huge, smelly mess. I don't know who I can trust anymore, it's like my heart doesn't even want to trust anyone anymore. I was so optimistic about reuniting with my father and now I feel just as indifferent as before my short vacation. This is all so confusing. First Chloe turns out to be the biggest liar alive, then Jesse is there for me, then again he turns out to be an asshole and Chloe shows up to save the day. What spiral has my life become? I feel like drowning. I still can't believe that Jesse could do this, I mean why? And if he wanted to do this from the start, does that mean that it's the reason why he wanted me to visit my mum, so he could be sure I wasn't able to do anything about it? Was it also the reason why he helped me with the fine tuning?

I feel like my head will explode at any minute now. All I know is that I need to confront him and I will do just that, first thing tomorrow morning. Tonight I'll just try to escape into a better world, there must be one, deep inside my dreams and I hope that my wish will be granted just for this night at least.

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End Chapter 20

Hope you experienced a surprise there. =)

Please let me know how you found that chapter, that's of great interest to me!