Answers:
ANON: Rei's reaction is right here!
Fanus: My entire idea behind this story was how little I really had to change to make Shinji a stronger person. He realizes how that Asuka is pretty blatantly abusive. He is able to fight his father. He stands up for Touji and Rei. By the way, that Text in the dummy plug chapter is a real sound effect from Rebuild 2.22 You have to read it backwards or paste it into a text-reverser website.

Disclaimer: See Prologue
Chapter 21: My Resignation

"When can I visit Asuka or Touji?" Shinji asked the psychologist interviewing him, flanked by Section-2 security. One of the Agents answered.

"You are prohibited from contacting other personnel until this psychological evaluation is complete."

"And? I've already had a CAT scan and an MRI."

"Yes," the psychologist spoke up. "But you also need a live interview. Let's start with a Rorschach test. Tell me what you see." He held up a card.

"Looks like an ink stain."

"...Yes it is. Try thinking harder."

"...It's a deep and permanent ink stain."

"You need to cooperate with me."

"The petroleum-based ink has bonded itself to a translucent fibrous material consisting of bleached wood pulp."

"All right then, since we aren't getting anywhere...Word Associations. I'll say a word or name, you tell me a word or phrase that comes to mind."

"Sure."

"Evangelion"
"Pain Magnet"

"NERV"
"Assholes"

"Dr. Akagi"
"Whore"

"Katsuragi"
"Drunk"

"Professor"
"Yes-man"

"Commander"
"Bastard"
"..."

"Captain Soryu"
"Bitch"
The psychologist chuckled.

"Suzuhara"
Shinji's glare burned at him. "Innocent. Victim. Martyr."
"..."

"Ayanami"
"Uhh..."
"Ayanami?"

Shinji blushed "...perfect..."

"As affectionate as that answer is, your other ones don't really do you any favors in my report. I have to determine whether or not you are sane and competent, and you aren't helping me."

"And who determines whether Touji got to live or die? Who checks and balances the callous decisions made by the detached and out of touch NERV officials? Touji was shanghaied into piloting, same as I was! Go ahead, write me up as a psychopath. See if I care."

The psychologist wrote a few statements. "First Lieutenant Ikari, you are clearly mentally competent, if somehwat blinded by cynicism-"

"Watching your best friend get dismembered can do that to you."

"Yes, that's actually the point that I was about to make. No rational person would have reacted positively to what you saw happening before you, even if your specific reaction was an overreaction."

"That's a candidate for understatement of the decade."

"...Moving on, the electromagnetic scans show no psionic contamination. Your resistance to the Angel's psychic attacks was impressive."

"And Asuka?"

"There is no risk of mental possession, but she was left broken and incoherent. I'll grant you a one-time visit if you don't think you'll be frightened by what you see."

"Everything I see frightens me, Doc."

"I'm honestly not certain if that's simple sarcasm or survivor's guilt." He turned to the Section-2 Agents. "He's not a danger to anybody here, just make sure that his Evangelion Unit stays grounded. Let him go visit the other two."

"Affirmative, Doctor."

"Listen! His name's Touji Suzuhara and he pilots Evangelion Unit-03; he's somewhere underground in the NERV hospital! Let me in to see him!"

"Are you next of kin?"

"No, but-"

"Then you cannot be allowed inside." The gate guard for NERV's ground-level entrance prevented Hikari Horaki from visiting the Fourth Child, critically injured during the testing phase for Evangelion Unit-03. She turned away and started hurrying home, tears welling in her eyes.

"Representative Horaki?" She failed to notice a quiet head of blue hair appearing behind her.

"Rei? Uhh...I know I don't have permission to be here, but it's been six days since I've seen Touji and I heard that he got hurt in his Eva training and I'm really worried for him and I just want to see him to make sure that he's safe." She panted after breathing out the long sentence.

"Come with me."

Rei ran her ID card through the gate and approached the guard. "First Lieutenant Ayanami. Command-level Authentication. Representative Horaki is my guest for the afternoon. You will allow her to accompany me."

The guard read the authentication and complied, and Rei motioned for Hikari to follow her.

"Thank you...I don't really know what to say, Rei..."

"We have never had a conversation, before." Rei stated as she walked, headed to the hospital wing.

"No...We haven't. I just always thought that you weren't interested in talking to anybody."

"...I have wanted to become closer to others. I have never known how to do so."

"Rei, you don't really mean that, do you?"

"Yes. The social conventions that you abide by were withheld from me. Pilot Ikar-...Shinji has become the primary conduit for my attempts at enjoyable conversation."

"You expect me to believe that you've only ever made friends with Shinji."

"I am not allowed to form bonds with others. It is an order I am expected to follow. The time I spend with Shinji is in defiance of my orders. I cannot get away with further disobedience."

"Why do you allow yourself to be isolated like that?"

"Because it has never caused me harm, and I would be disciplined severely if my relationships weakened my ability to pilot."

"That doesn't seem to stop Asuka."

"Pilot Soryu is not bound by NERV-Japan's regulations. I am. Shinji is as well, but when he disobeys, Lieutenant Colonel Katsuragi defends him."

"And she wouldn't stick up for you?"

"She would, but I am only in contact with her for short periods of time. Shinji is under her protection constantly."

"...I think you deserve better than all that, Rei. If I wanted to be your friend-"

"NERV's security would put a stop to it."

"You're helping me now..."

"Pilot Suzuhara's injuries are a defense for my actions. If you were not concerned for his safety, I could not have approached you."

They continued the walk in silence.

He looked through the divider window panes in the psychological isolation ward. She was glaring back at him, fuming at his presence.

She pressed a button on her hospital bed, opening an intercom with a nurse. "What the hell is HE doing here?!"

"He asked to visit you, Miss Soryu."

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay, Asuka-" Shinji tried to answer.

"WHY!? Why do you care now?! All you care about is that little bitch!"

"Asuka, that's not true-"

"That little bitch Rei rescued ME! I'd rather have died! I HATE HER! I HATE YOU, SHINJI!"

"...Even if she was capable of hating you in return, Asuka, Rei would never think of you as a 'little bitch'."

Asuka gave a sick laugh at that answer. "Yeah, 'capable'. She really is a little human drone. Never gets angry, never gets sad, definitely never hated anything in her perfect, wonderful, beautiful life! She always does exactly what she's told without question. She's the perfect girl for a weak beta-male like you, Shinji! Let me guess, you can just show up at her apartment without an invitation, order her to get down on her knees and open her mout-"

"Asuka, STOP! I came here to see you! Why do you have to constantly attack Rei? She has never done a single bad thing to you, EVER!"

"Oh Yeah?! Every chance I've had to be happy, that little bitch STOLE FROM ME! She's the Commander's favorite, she's the 'famous Eva Test Pilot', and she has your 24 hour attention and slavish devotion! She's never had to work a day in her life! All I've ever done is train to earn my rank and status, and this is how you thank me!? I'm sick of being completely alone for everything I do! What the hell did I have to do to you to have some company every so often?"

"Well for starters, you could have refrained from slapping, kicking, sideswiping and punching me. You could have withheld your expletive-laced opinions about Rei, who I've known far longer than I have you. You could have abstained from referring to me as a 'spineless coward wimp'."

"I wanted to see you get stronger!"

"Kindness, courtesy, meekness and friendship is strength, Asuka. Anger, hate and brutish violence are the real signs of weakness. I need to go check on Touji, now. And for the record, you have no idea how badly Rei has it." He left her to shiver and quake in her own cold space.

Touji was nudged awake from his painkiller-assisted slumber by one of the nurses. "Wake up, dear, your guests can't stay long, and they had to go through a bunch of hoops to see you."

Touji turned his head and made out Hikari's pigtails and Rei's blue hair through his blurred vision.

"...Class Rep?...Ayanami?..."

"I was just so worried about you, Touji. I heard you got hurt...and back at school you said that you didn't want to do it and-"

"Yeah...I did say all that...I don't really care about it...I figure I get my ass kicked then I get tossed back home-"

"Lieutenant Colonel Katsuragi will ensure that you are compensated and that your sister continues to receive personal care, Pilot Suzuhara. You need not be concerned for her future."

"...Either of you know what I did out there?"

"Unit-03 went beserk." Rei told him the half-truth. "It began acting on its own. It appears that it did not want a human pilot. You did nothing wrong, Touji. You will be wheelchair-dependent for a long period, but you are expected to recover."

"...I guess that's pretty good news...It's great to know you two are okay." He shot a weak smile to Hikari who ran to his bedside and hugged his injured form. "We can hang out more when all this blows over."

He glanced over to Rei. "How's Shinji doing?"

"He is unhurt, but he is expected to recount his behaviors during your test to the Commander."

"That sounds real fun. I wouldn't want to walk in on those two..." The nurse appeared and ushered the two girls out.

Shinji missed the two girls as he snuck into Touji's room. "You know, us Three Stooges aren't ever all together anymore."

"Hey, bro...I look like total shit, don't I?"

"Trust me, after what I can only describe as the 'plasma diamond' Angel attacked, I was worse off than you are by a long shot...I'm sorry I couldn't help you...I tried to keep you from getting hurt during the test and I failed. And it's not the first time-"

"Shinji if you keep blaming yourself for me getting my ass kicked I'm going to personally climb out of this hospital bed and pound some sense into you. You have nothing to apologize for; I'm going to be fine. Your girlfriend already told me everything."

"What!? When was-"

"She brought Hikari to see me. It was a really nice thing for her to do for me, so you don't have to worry, Shinji. I'm going to sleep all day and Hikari's going to sneak edible food in with Rei from now on. Now get outta here, I know you have work you should be doing."

"...Okay, Touji, I'll see you later." Shinji left the room and was accosted by Section 2.

"First Lieutenant Ikari, you are expected in the Commander's quarters." One of the agents handcuffed him and led him to his father's office.

"Insubordination...Hijacking an Evangelion Unit...Attacking noncombat personnel...I could come up with a few more charges to levy on you, Shinji...Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"...I could have saved Touji, instead you used my hands to try and kill him!"

"And so you believe that your 'righteous anger' is somehow justified...You disappoint me, Shinji. I had hoped to teach you that you must be willing to sacrifice in order to achieve your goals."

"I did learn that, 'Father'. I learned that I will sacrifice anything that I have; I will sacrifice any facet of myself for Misato, Rei, Asuka or Touji. But I will NEVER sacrifice anybody else for my own gain!"

"Yes, it seems you will sacrifice any part of yourself for them. You should be spending the rest of your life in prison, but NERV Branch 3 heard about your actions for Captain Soryu. They believe that your interference with the Angel attack saved her life and her sanity. They've given themselves the idea to award you the German Order of Merit." He handed Shinji an envelope addressed by the German Chancellor.

Shinji stared at the letter. "I don't want any thanks, praise, award, or recognition for me fighting for Asuka. I know that she's alive, that's all that matters. If it's my good deed for NERV, then consider it my resignation."

"That's it then? You're giving up; you're finally running away?"

"I don't want anything to do with the people who condemned Touji to die."

The Commander furrowed his brow, left his desk and walked to Shinji. He unclasped his handcuffs and made a broadcast to Section 2 across their radios.

"Former Lieutenant Ikari is leaving the premises. Do not interfere with him."

Former Lieutenant Ikari walked, posture rigid and face cold as he exited the facilities and began the long train ride to the surface.

Shinji was packing his bookbag with what small possessions he could fit when Misato walked into his room, her head bandaged and her arm in a sling.

"You don't have to do this, Shinji. Touji, Ritsuko and I will all recover."

"Yes, I do. You, Rei, Asuka and Touji aren't my enemies. The man who gave the order to kill Touji is."

"If you leave, Section 2 will be tracking you like a hawk."

"Let them come, they can give me all the 'enhanced interrogations' they want. I don't care anymore."

Misato blocked his path out of the door.

"Misato, let me leave."

She broke down in tears and sqeezed him in her one strong arm. "Please don't go, Shinji. You're the first chance I've ever had to have a family..."

"You've got Asuka and Kaji, Misato. You aren't alone. I'm choosing to be. Tell Kaji that I said thank you for helping Rei."

Shinji walked out of the apartment as Misato stared out the open door, sobbing. = I wanted to be a mother...with Shinji I had that chance... = She knelt to the floor and cried after him.

Shinji had made it to that lookout Misato showed him when he first moved to the city. He looked over the city that he now consciously wanted to save, but couldn't because of the callous people in positions of power.

= I'm done with it all, for real, this time. I guess I'll try to go home, again...I'll figure out how to deal with Section 2...Maybe I can just be a normal guy with a normal life. = He looked at the unopened envelope from Germany. = I don't want or deserve an award for anything I do. I just want to be accepted...I did it, really...I wanted friends, so I found Misato, Touji, Kensuke and Rei...Rei, God I've got to talk to her...My dad's got so much control over her...I hope she sees my side of the story. =

He left the countryside and rode the train to Rei's section of town.

"I hate seeing her having to live like this." He looked at the dilapidated apartment building she was assigned to, and made his way around the back of it. He walked through what was left of the maintenance hallways until he saw the Section 2 guard stationed at the building. = I wonder what this guy did to get assigned to the lousiest part of town... =

He silently walked up behind the bored guard, gripped his wrists, kicked his knees forward and dragged the agent to the ground. He grabbed the back of his head and knocked his sunglass-covered forehead into the sidewalk. = Going on 6 years of martial training, now...Nice to know it helps me deal with assholes. =

Shinji rooted through the guard's pockets. He looted his NERV ID and personal belongings, and took the guard's handgun and knife. He dragged the unconscious body to an abandoned and empty janitor's closet, stuffed it inside and barred the door shut. = Sucks to be you, man, but you work for my dad. =

He walked up to 402 and entered the perpetually-broken door. Rei wasn't home. = The bastards are robbing her memories, again. = He moved her single classroom chair to a side of the room where he could see the door and sat down to wait. He wore the knife on a convenient belt loop and examined the firearm based on the training he'd received at NERV. = Weapon is loaded...9mm, semi...safe is on...8+1 rounds and the guy had two extra magazines...at least I can seriously defend myself, now... = He slipped the weapon through his belt and waited. She didn't return home for hours. = They must really be desperate to enhance the dummy plugs... =

Shinji was drowsy and bored when he heard the door open. She weakly walked into the room and laid on her bed, she didn't even acknowledge his presence.

= Something is seriously wrong, here. What the hell are they doing to her? =

He went to the door and looked out and around...she wasn't followed. = I guess they think that one guard is good for this empty building. =

He moved over to her bed and shook her lightly, she stirred but didn't wake. = Sorry, Rei... = He clapped loudly next to her ears.

Rei's eyes bolted open and she sat up and grabbed her head. Shinji held her shoulders as she wavered from disorientation and vertigo.

"Rei...Rei. Look at me. It's Shinji...What did they do to you?"

"...You should...not be here..."

"You gonna turn me in?"

"...No...I do not want...you to leave...but NERV Security will be...recording your locations." She leaned closer in his arms.

"I've...dealt with the guard at this building. Tell me, what did they do to you?"

"Did you...leave NERV?"

"...Yeah."

"They are...preparing a dummy plug for Unit-01...They plan to use it permanently..."

"So they put you in the chamber-"

"And they copied a...greater volume of my memory than normal...I feel...weak."

"Rei, do you have any food here?"

"I have instant rice and vegetables...I started grocery shopping after you began cooking...I wanted to eat more nutritious varieties than what I was receiving at NERV." He noticed she was speaking with a little more strength.

"I'm going to make something for you...You just rest." Shinji took what she had from her small refrigerator and started working in her kitchen when Rei's cell phone rang. She sat up in her bed and answered.

"Commander Ikari...?" She motioned to Shinji, placing one finger over her lips and pressed the speaker button on her phone.

"Yes, Rei, are you home safely?"

"Yes, Sir. I was about to eat...the session left me fatigued."

"I understand, but it was necessary due to former Lieutenant Ikari's actions. Rei, I know that you may feel loyal to him, but if he approaches you, report him to Section 2."

"Commander, may I provide my knowledge of Pilot Ikari's behaivor?"

"...You may, Rei, do you know his whereabouts?"

"Not precisely. I know that he speaks frequently about his previous time in his old guardian's city...I believe that he may return there. If Section 2 is searching for him, I would recommend that they concentrate on the road and railways onto the neighboring cities, as he is likely to attempt to return to his previous way of life."

"...Thank you, Rei...That is a solution we may implement...You have assisted us well in recent time."

"Thank you, Commander Ikari."

Shinji heard his father hang up the phone. He returned to cooking after waiting still and silent. He brought a simple vegetable and rice bowl to her and sat closely next to her on the bed. She slowly ate and rested against him. He was amazed that she would lie to his father for him.

"...Rei, you just sent Section 2 on a wild goose chase..."

"I know that you refused to attack Pilot Suzuhara because his life has value to you...I protected you because you treat me as if my life has value-"

"Rei, if my father ordered you to attack Touji..."

"Yes, Shinji, I would have done so. I would have seen the threat that the rebellious Eva posed. But," She paused. "You acted with more humanity and concern than what I am expected by the Commander to contain. He would see it as rebellion, but I can see no wrong in what you did...Shinji?"

"Yes, Rei?"

"Please forgive me for attacking you when you criticized your father. I see now that you knew the true nature of him..."

Shinji was taken aback. Rei Ayanami, Gendo Ikari's most loyal charge, apologizing for defending his name. "Rei, I can't forgive you for that because you did nothing that you need to apologize for. And I don't treat you 'like' your life has value. I treat you the way I do specifically because you have value, more value than I could ever understand." He tightened his hold on her when he answered her.

"...Shinji, when a...couple...argues, are they not supposed to take sides? I wish to apologize because of my treatment of you regarding your father, but now you are the one defending him." She had just referred to herself and Shinji as a couple, and she felt...content when she did so.

"Rei, if my father was anybody other than the person he is, you would have been right to stick up for him. He just kept you away from anybody that would treat you better than he did. Now that you know someone who has, you know what he's really like...I'm sorry, Rei, but that's why I have to leave NERV...If I go, I can bring you with me..."

"No, Shinji. I must remain here to defend against the Angels...You have the freedom to leave, I do not."

"...Then I'm staying here. If I have to personally take Section 2 apart, I won't leave you, Rei."

Rei smiled. "With the things you have done lately, Shinji, I believe that you could do so." She put down her empty bowl and moved against him. "Shinji, is this what it feels like to be held?"

"...Yeah, Rei, it is."

"I like this feeling." She mimicked his posture and placed her arms around his shoulders. They were both asleep in that position after just a short time, warm in each others' presence.