"Here we go again," I mumbled to myself and obediently followed my companion into the blackness of the portal.
I sighed for what felt like the hundredth time and let the pain and sadness sink into me fully until I could feel nothing but the dense pressure of thought.
"Myrnin where are we?" I said, gazing around in confusion.
"Underground," he said in a distant voice. He was already busy pushing buttons and flipping switches on a large board that hung on the wall.
"Yeah, I figured that much," I said with a sigh.
"Then why did you ask?" he said without looking at me. I could now faintly hear a whirring noise and saw a large section of the wall move away. Behind the wall was a large cavern with a rounded, white marble ceiling that looked at least 3 stories away. The floor was a dark paneled wood and several desks were set amongst the room at equal intervals. Glowing green lamps were lit on the desks and I saw that some were piled high with papers and others held modern looking computers. Along the walls all the way up to the ceiling were shelves upon shelves of…
"Books" I stated. I slowly walked over to the closest shelf and lightly dragged my fingertips across the leather bound spines. The books made the room I decided. The room, though grand in size, was rather simple, but the books, oh the books. They came in every color, size and shape. There was red ones and blue ones, ones with gold writing on the side, ones that looked so old that I thought they might crumble from a single touch. There were ones that appeared to be half a foot wide and even some encrusted with jewels. I frantically began scanning the titles and soon found they were as different as the covers themselves. The Secret Life of a Bumblebee, one read, The Complete Pocket Guide to Properly Duel Wielding, read another, and even another read, Racial Phylogeny In the Indigenous Tribes of the Netherlands. They seemed to be shoved rather neatly into their little shelves although I could not distinguish any order that they might have been placed in.
I carefully looked around the entire room, trying to estimate the amount of books there was. I was shocked to realize that there was simply too many for even my enhanced brain to count. There could have been a hundred thousand or two or even three, at the very least there was ten thousand. I craned my neck back and stared at the ceiling and slowly turned in a circle, taking in the vast number and starting to find an appreciation for the amount of knowledge that was in this room. I felt a sudden pang of sadness as I realized that even if a spent every single second of my life in here reading I would never even get through half.
"If you were a vampire you could."
The single thought shot into my brain before I could stop it. Claire, I told myself, you need to get a grip; you under no circumstances would ever want to be a vampire. Think Shane. How would he feel if he knew you thought that? Hmmm? He would hate you.
"He already does."
"Shut up!" I yelled at myself, flinging my hands up over my mouth in shock as I realized I said that out loud.
"I'm afraid I didn't say anything, dear Claire." Myrnin said from behind me. I jumped at the sound of his voice and turned around, not expecting him to be quite that close. My heart racing, I looked into his eyes, afraid of seeing the monster there but instead for the second time today found only concern.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to…frighten you," he said slowly and quickly backed up about two steps, "But who were you talking to?"
"Oh, I was um…" I stuttered out, my face reddening, obviously embarrassed, "I was talking to myself."
"Yourself?" he said questioningly, his eyes taking on a sharp look and focusing rather narrowly on me, "Take care not to lose you in yourself. It may seem absurd but I would like to believe that I of all people would know just how dangerous a seemingly harmless thing like that can become."
"Of course," I said quickly, my eyes burning holes into the ground. I felt a slight breeze and all of a sudden I was no longer looking at the ground but at Myrnin's shoes. His fingertips lightly pressed underneath my chin and he gently but firmly pushed my head up until I was looking into his eyes.
"Are you truly alright, little Claire? I would not have brought you here if I knew it would cause such meticulously hidden pain to surface." His eyes held such total and complete sorrow and care in them that I found that I could no longer bear his gaze upon me.
"No, no Myrnin, don't worry. I'm absolutely and completely fine." I looked at him and saw disbelief cross his face. Before he could voice his concerns I quickly added, "Honestly."
"No, Claire I don't believe you are, but it is not my place to pry," he said, still studying my face. I quickly looked away and began to walk towards one of the desks, not liking the amount of worry and concern I saw in his face.
"Well…" I said, eager to change the subject, when a thought occurred to me, "What exactly is this place?" In my nostalgia of last night's fight with Shane and the unavoidable exhaustion and depression that came with it, I had completely forgotten where we were, wherever that may be.
"Well, it's a collection of all of the books that any vampire in Morganville has ever owned, but you can simply call it what it is, a library. I'm sure you could not find any way that the books were categorized and that is because they are categorized by owner. Every vampire in Morganville has at least one shelf, except for me that is and I'm sure you know exactly where my books are, perhaps even better than I do," he said with an impish grin. "Since you seemed to take such an interest in constantly reorganizing my books I thought you may find this…attractive."
"It's beautiful Myr, perhaps the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Thank you," I said turning to look at him, a smile unwillingly spreading across my face. "Thank you," I repeated with tears in my eyes because it was simply that. Beautiful.
The beauty went deeper then the simple prettiness of the rainbow of book bindings and my tears came from more than awe at appearances. The beauty of this place came from the vast and possibly endless amount of knowledge, of fact, of history and of value that all these books held and the tears came from the indisguisable fact that Myrnin not only truly and deeply cared about me, but that he truly and deeply understood me. He knew that I needed to forget everything that had happened but at the same time I needed to be able to cry and let the building heartache out. Being here in such a condensed place of knowledge brought about an indescribable feeling of contentedness and overwhelming sorrow at precisely the same the time. This personal knowledge influenced my thought process and caused me to think about my own emotions in a detached state that, while keeping my humanity, saved me from being consumed by them. It was simply brilliant. It was something only Myrnin could think of, something that only he would understand. I stared deeply into his eyes, trying my best to find his reason in the inky blackness but only found myself staring back. I found that this annoyed me to a great end, that he could read into me so acutely and profoundly and I could not even find a single reason behind his obvious and sudden attachment to me. I considered grilling him about it, but realized that he was hiding something, not from me, but from himself, something immense. Something quite considerable indeed if he couldn't even let himself face it. My mind began racing through every emotion that I could think of, trying to pin the exact one that he currently was feeling as he stared back at me and I could find only one, an impossible one.
"You're very welcome," he finally said breaking the silence, his face becoming strained. "You can't come here without an escort of course but I sure Amelie wouldn't mind if you looked through here, as long as you put everything back as you found it and didn't take anything out of this room, that is."
"Of course, I understand that this is a great privilege that very few, if any are allowed and I would not mistreat any leniency I have been given," I said cautiously, still searching his face for any signs that he was going to do something unexpected.
"If I may Claire, I'd like to show you some books that I'm sure would peak your interest, you being a teenage girl that is," he said freely, back to his usual self.
"You know, I sometimes wonder if you forget that," I said tentatively.
"Forget what?" he called down, as he was climbing up the shelves and rapidly thumbing through books.
"That I'm a teenage girl." He paused, mid book, and effortlessly dropped down to my level. I found him once again staring into my eyes.
"Never," he said hauntingly and then he was off, hastily shoving a book into my hands and flitting up amongst the shelves, once again going through them at an alarming rate. I looked at the book in my hands. It was a large book; at the very least a thousand pages, with a green cover and large unfamiliar symbols embossed on the top in a curving, gold script. Even though I searched on the front, back, side and first ten pages I could not find anything that might be considered a title. Under closer examination I realized that the symbols were not only symbols but characters of an unfamiliar language.
"Myrnin," I called up, "What am I supposed to do with this? I can't read it, it's not in English." My question was answered with silence. Annoyed, I look around the room, searching for him but only seeing the rows upon rows of books. I frantically spun in circle, fear beginning to creep into me, desperately searching for any sign of him. I stopped my heart racing, deciding I was going to the find the door and just get out of there when I felt two icy, cold hand s wrap around me, one around my throat and another around my waist, dragging me backwards. I let out a scream and that's when the lights went out.
he hands yanked me backwards pulling me into the inky blackness. They picked me up, to a point where even though my feet were still touching the ground I wasn't putting any weight on them. It was like floating. The intriguing sensation of this sent my brain into overdrive and almost began to calm me until the hands threw me backwards into the shelves.
I landed against them with a grunt and a moan, my head smacking against a shelf and the corner of a book being stabbed into the small of my back and after a brief moment of confusion, quickly jumped to my feet, trying to ignore the growing pain in my head. I stuck my hands out, trying to feel my way through the never ending illusion of night and slowly began to move in what I thought was the direction of the door. Stumbling blindly, I tripped over what must have been a falling book and fell onto my knees, bruising them. I let out a hiss of pain and frustration and scrambled to pull myself back up, determined to find a way out.
With a buzz the lights flicked back on and I found myself blinded in a different way as my pupils contracted to the smallest possible fraction in order to stop too much light from entering my eyes. Shielding my burning eyes with my forearm, I frantically looked for the door. As nothing became an apparent way out I began to panic.
No Claire, I told myself, think logically. There must be a door somewhere but until you find it you must fight. Stakes Claire, you need stakes. Look in your backpack.
I began moving to the first desk that I saw as I walked in, hoping that that was where I had left it. After a moments searching I realized that my backpack wasn't there. Where the hell was it?
At home I realized, my hysteria rising. So that was it then, nowhere to run and nothing to fight with.
Wait, my necklace is silver, I thought, but that would only work as a diversion and a diversion implies you have a plan, which you don't. You need to reason with him.
Yes because trying to reason with your insane, hungry and not to mention lethal, vampire boss is going to go oh so well.
It's all you've got Claire. You've got to try. Remember, don't show fear, or you're dead.
"Myrnin," I called out tentatively while slowly turning around in a circle, hoping to catch some glimpse of him, "Where are you Myrnin? This isn't funny."
"No one is laughing sweet, innocent, foolish, little Claire," he whispered throatily, his voice coming from directly behind me. I pulled in a sharp intake of breath and felt my heart literally skip a beat in my fear. As I went to spin around to face him, those cold, strong hands gripped my arms, preventing me from moving. I let out a little whimper, cursing myself as I did for showing a sign of fear, not that he couldn't already hear my fluttering heartbeat. My brain began to black out from the terror and I could no longer think straight. It was all happening so fast.
"Now, now little Claire, you know better than to move. If you be a good little girl now and stay still for me, I'll promise to make this as painless as possible," he said darkly into my ear while one of his hands went up to push my hair away from my neck and gently pull my head sideways while the other slid down to my hips and around to just under my belly-button. He pulled me backwards into him, pressing me against him with such a sudden force that I let out another little whimper.
"Unless of course you like the pain," he growled while his lips pressed into the back of my neck. I could feel him smirking there, against me, and I tried my best not to move or to make a single sound. He lightly kissed me there for a moment or two before he stopped and sighed.
"You're not begging," he stated, "Why aren't you begging? They always beg!" Suddenly he was angry and he shoved me forwards. I caught myself on the edge of a desk, my head snapping forwards and without wasting a second darted sideways towards the opposite end of the room, my resolve gone and only one emotion left, run.
He, with his unfair advantage, easily caught up to me within a single bound, grabbing my arm and yanking me backwards with a painful burst and once again shoving me against the shelves. Only this time he was there in front of me, pressing up against me and forcing me against the shelves with absolutely no space in-between us. He glared down at me, an evil, predatory look in his eyes, mixed in with something else I couldn't quite identify and slowly slid his hands down me and upon finding my wrists, encircled them with his and pulled them up, over my head, trapping me, and leaving me in a very vulnerable position. I stared back into his eyes with what I hoped was an equally fierce expression, commanding myself to stay strong in my resolve.
"You stupid, little, child, I told you not to run or it was going to be painful. As I believe you silly humans would say, 'No more mister nice guy'. He paused for a moment and tilted his head slightly as if he were trying to remember something forgotten.
"Not that I won't enjoy it more this way," he said seductively, an evil smirk slowly spreading across his prefect lips and a compelling look glinting across his eyes. He shifted his position slightly so that a very specific part of him was suddenly pressing quite forcefully against a very specific part of me. OH MY GOD, my mind screamed at me and then much to my dismay a little moan forced its way through me and escaped out my slightly parted lips.
"Then again I'm starting to think that you're going to like it more this way too." With that his fangs slid down with a audible snap, those glorious eyes turning deadly, and he smashed my hands together, over my head, so that his one hand was trapping them both and the other he twisted into my hair and roughly jerked my head sideways, exposing my pale neck. He bowed his head and buried his face in my warm neck, his fangs pressing dimples into my skin.
"Now beg," he whispered breathlessly, his voice taking on a needing tone, and I did.
"Please, please Myrnin! Don't do this! You don't want to!" I said, gasping for my breath, my heart racing, unwillingly saying the words that would doom me.
"Hmmmm… don't I? Well young, innocent Claire, I think you may find that I very much do," he declared indubitably, his voice lilting with a flirtatious edge that enthralled me and drew me in to him.
Stay strong Claire, my conscious echoed, Remember the Shane you must go home to.
"No you don't! You can't kill me Myrnin, you need me! I'm the only one you have left!" I screeched at him, realization and fear hitting me that giving in may lead to my own demise.
As soon as I said those words something changed within his eyes. The cloud of hunger and lust parted and pure, unwavering revulsion pulsed through his expression. At first I believed that it was directed at me, that by becoming his only friend I had taken away his snack and the monster inside of him hated me for it, but I was soon to see that my first impression was horribly mistaken. It was self-hatred, self-disgust. He hated himself for what he was about to do to me. He released me at once and pushed himself away from me, quickly casting his eyes downward but not fast enough that I didn't see the forming tears. He stumbled away from me and turned his back, covering his face with his hands, shoulders heaving from the pain.
"I'm sorry Claire, I'm so so so sorry! I…I…I lost myself, I gave into it. I'm so very sorry, I should've have fought harder against the hunger. Oh god Claire I'm so sorry!" he wailed like a wounded animal. I felt something inside of me twist in agony at seeing him like this, I was the only one who had any chance of consoling him and he was my friend so I knew that I had to forgive him, it's not like my own resolve didn't weaken once in awhile, he who had done so much for me already, truly deserved another chance.
"It's alright Myrnin, really it's alright. I know you didn't mean to, I understand how hard things can be. You're forgiven, it's all right," I murmured soothingly, and tentatively reached out to lightly touch his shoulder. He spun around at my touch, so fast that he became an ethereal blur. He looked at me with such remorse in his eyes, such sorrow, and grabbed my face between his hands.
"No Claire, it's not alright, it never was and it never will be. One day I'll hurt you, you know I will, I know I will. You need to leave, leave now, leave and never come back. You can't come back to the lab, ever. It's the only way to keep you safe. In fact you need to leave Morganville, you need to have all the surely unpleasant memories wiped clean from your mind so that you may be carefree and innocent once again. Don't worry about Amelie either, I'll deal with her! She has to let you go and even if she won't I'll find some way to sneak you out. Go, go now! You must!" he said, casting me away, but with such emotion and passion in his voice I almost wanted to burst.
I looked aside and saw part of the wall spin into the calming chaos of blackness and felt the familiar energy of a portal. I looked at it solemnly, then back to him. He was looking at me with an eagerness that surprised me. He really thought that this was only way that things could be, that I could never see him again. The simple idea of never coming back to the lab, never again flipping through those century old books, or feeding those awful flies to Bob, or spending hours cleaning the place, only to come back and see it all messed up again, of not seeing the colorful, bubbling chemicals in their variously shaped glass bottles, and the traps and dangers that had been strategically placed everywhere throughout the room left me thoroughly sickened. Going farther, I imagined not seeing him again, not seeing his mischievous, secret smile that he saved just for me, not seeing all those crazy outfits with the Mardi gras beads and the floppy hats and the vampire bunny slippers, not seeing that unruly mop of black curls or his way his smooth pale chest appeared beneath his unbuttoned shirts, of not seeing those endless eyes that held centuries of misery and hate, of love and sorrow, fear and anguish, joy and hunger, of hope and such immense knowledge, left me in such a terrible state of shock and utter panic that I felt as if someone had punched a giant whole through my heart, leaving me with only an endless agony that made tears spring from my eyes and spill down my face in glassy rivets. And that was just the thought of it. How much worse was the real pain going to be? Way worse.
I stared deeply into his eyes and prayed to whatever god there was that he would see just how much I needed him.
"I can't leave you Myrnin, not now, not ever. It's too late. I can no longer have a life that doesn't have you in it," as I began to speak and desperately scramble to try to express my unknown feelings surrounding him an epiphany hit me. Hit me like a meteorite hitting the sun. In that split second a total calm enveloped me and I began to be able to see things in their truth.
I loved him. I loved him!
I absolutely, undoubtedly loved him. Loved him with everything I had, and everything I would have. I no longer feared my true feelings and gazing into those incandescent, brown eyes, I realized that he loved me too.
Words no longer were needed as he witnessed the truth blaze into my eyes. He ran at me in a blindingly fast speed, and I was never afraid, not even for the most inconsequential fraction of a second, not even as he once again shoved me against the wall, not even as a mixture of love and lust eclipsed his eyes, and certainly not when he finally reached down caressing my face with an impossible tenderness, pulled me against him and kissed me as if I was the only girl in the world.
It started off slowly at first, a simple caress of skin on skin, but soon built in intensity, the quiet touch turning into a smoldering scream. His lips moved feverishly against mine, pressing with a, in some way expected, force.
His hands gripped tightly around my waist, sliding up and down, back and forth, pulling me into him. My own hands slid up over his exposed chest, running across his chest and up, twisting into his silky black curls. My lips crushed against his with even more vigor, a gasp worming its way up through my throat, as his right hand crept up my stomach, moving up to my breast, cupping it for a moment and then tugging at the thin fabric, exposing my bra. His lips moved across my cheek and swept downward, trailing kisses down to my throat, as he stopped at the spot where my pulse was the strongest. I could feel his tongue tracing the slight raise of the two silvery scars that were placed there, living proof that I was his. With a snap, his fangs carefully slid down, pressing lightly into my skin. They were cold and razor sharp and the idea of them in me sent little shivers down my spine. To his surprise and my own, I cupped the back of his head, driving him to bite.
"Claire…" he moaned, "You have to stop me, you don't want me to do this."
"Oh but Myrnin," I whispered sweetly, mocking him by copying his words from before, "I think I do."
"Say it," he muttered, barely audible. Without any doubts and without wasting a single second I answered,
"Bite me." And he did. The fangs slipped into my skin, raising a moan from deep within me, partially from pain, partially from excitement and arousal. Blood began to flow from the wound and he lapped it up, sliding his tongue across the cut to incite the blood flow. He gulped mouthful after mouthful, like a mad man, driven insane by thirst, which I suppose he was. I leaned heavily into his capable arms and let him drink, my hands roaming over his chest and tracing the outline of his smooth, defined muscles.
Soon, way too soon, my head began to feel heavy and I felt slightly dizzy, and I reluctantly murmured,
"Myrnin."After a second more he pulled his fangs out, licking up the last traces of blood on my skin and leaving a feather light kiss over the newly opened marks. He moved back slightly, just enough to be able to stare into my eyes. In them I saw swirls of lust moving like starlight through the blackness of his love. I stared back into his wild face, carefully taking in his open, blood covered mouth, showing the glinting white fangs, not feeling any of the fear that a normal human would experience. No, I only felt the want, the need, the desire, the love. I leaned forward, hands ghosting up to the back of his head, re-entangling themselves in his perfect hair, and yanked his head towards mine and kissed him, fangs and all. The kiss tasted of my own blood and I somehow found that this made him even more desirable. His hands slid down from my neck, around my arms, and rested heavily on my hips. They slowly slid around to my back and yanked me into him, pressing us so closely together that not even a single atom could get in-between. It wasn't nearly close enough.
He kept on kissing me like it was the end of the world, his tongue slipping into my mouth and exploring every curve while mine did the same to his. I bit his lip lightly, pulling it back.
Biting a vampire? My, my Claire you have gone insane, I thought.
He growled in response, his possessive side taking over and moved his lips over to my ear biting tenderly.
"Your mine now Claire, mine forever," he whispered, the need turning his voice dark. I whimpered in pleasure at the thought of this.
"Take me then," I whispered back, my back arching and I moved my hips into him so I could feel his desire more clearly. He pulled back for a moment and gazed into my eyes, smiling that seductive smile that was all his. I stared back and in seeing the lust haze over those lightless wells that had caused lifetimes of mischief, I knew that he most certainly would.
If he had acted with polite hesitation before, there was none now. His lips caught back on my roughly jamming his mouth against mine and plunging his tongue in without pause. They moved to the side of my lips, trailing onto my chin, and moving against my throat with such ferocity that it sent shivers down my spine, and kept gliding downwards until they came to rest upon the tops of my breasts. My hands fisted tightly in his hair and I pulled his face against me as he sucked and nibbled there. I moaned at this, my entire body on high alert, so that every touch sent a course of electricity through me, exciting me more. He, being the most impatient person I had ever, met was not going to be bother by simple fabric and so he reached up and ripped open my shirt in one smooth motion, tearing to shreds and exposing me entirely to him.
He seemed proud of his work and happy with the prize as he moved in licking and sucking my hardened nipples, his nimble fingers traveling first to squeeze my breast and then just into the waistline of my jeans, nearly sending me over the edge. My head snapped back in pleasure, smacking into the bookcase behind me with a sharp crack, sending signals of pain through me that only furthered my ecstasy. He stood back up to meet my lips in a passionate embrace and once again his hands glided down to my back, this time going further as to cup my ass for a moment and then continuing on to grip my thighs.
With a slight shriek from me his hands pulled me up off the ground and he wrapped my legs around his waist, allowing me to distinctly feel his great arousal. I smiled at this because frankly, he felt huge. He elegantly walked over to the closest desk, throwing me onto it and slowly crawling on top of me, his eyes carefully watching my every reaction the entire time. I looked into his eyes, and raised my eyebrows in an ark, my own eyes mocking, saying with them,
Well what are you waiting for?
othing, his grin said back. He leaned down and kissed me passionately on the mouth, slowly working his tongue in and around my mouth. I moaned with my own want and decided that things weren't moving fast enough. In one deft motion that surprised both me and him, I twisted in his grasp, pushing him off me for one brief second and then turning around so that I now found myself sitting on top of him. Seeing the slightly bewildered look on his face, I laughed and kissed him with all my might.
As I kissed him something happened. I didn't hear bells ring, I didn't see fireworks, or feel sparks, or any other clichéd ideas, I just simply realized how real this was, how simply perfect this was and it took my breath away. As I kissed him, my minded completely blanked out, leaving me in a daze and wiping out every single thing I was feeling and replacing it all with him, just him.
I rolled away, while keeping his mouth against mine, so that he was once again on top of me. He trailed kisses all the way down my body, stopping at my stomach. His eyes flashed up to meet mine for a brief second and he grinned before moving down to the waistband of my jeans. To my great enjoyment he undid both the button and the zipper entirely with his mouth. His hands half yanked, half ripped my jeans off me and tossed them into some dark corner, leaving me in nothing but my black and white striped underwear.
For the first time we both realized just how far this was going to go and we also realized that this was probably not the most appropriate of places, and with a light giggle from me, Myrnin picked me up in his arms, opened a portal and carried me into the lab. He sat me lightly down on a nearby bench and continued to kiss me lustfully. I pulled away and shook my head, and then proceeded to stride into the bedroom, towing him along behind me.
I closed the door behind us and not bothering to turn on the lights, I yanked him towards me, meeting his lips in fiery kiss. He quickly wiggled his way out of his own jeans and the picked me up and literally threw me onto the bed, landing himself on top of me.
There the last remaining scraps of clothing were twisted away and in the soft glow of a timeless place, we became one.
"Myrnin-," I started, worry clouding my tone.
"No child, it is already morning. Sleep now, sleep and let dreams give you answers," he whispered softly in my ear.
"But Myr, I can't!" I whispered fiercely back, my mind starting to cloud over in a foggy haze from my exhaustion. I fought to stay awake, literally thrashing about in my struggle. I knew I was losing.
"Be still love, be still," he said, his voice fading into the background; I fought harder to force out the words I needed to say.
"I love you," I whispered faintly, in a barely audible tone. My consciousness was almost gone but I still felt the impossibly tender kiss that he placed on my forehead and still heard him whisper back,
"I love you too, little one. Now and forever." With that I fell into a deep and seemingly endless sleep.