The next morning, Marley work up in the spare bedroom of her apartment. She hadn't wanted to leave Emily alone under the circumstances. Stretching, she reached behind her and found that the other side of the bed was empty. Bucky had gone to bed with her but had apparently gone running with Steve early as he did sometimes.
Sounds coming from the kitchen had Marley pulling on her robe and heading in that direction. Maybe Bucky was back.
She found Emily, busy at the stove working on what smelled like breakfast. Marley's stomach growled with ferocity. Hell, her stomach should be empty after she'd run into Nat's room last night and threw up for twenty minutes straight.
"Hey," Marley said nice and loud trying not to startle the other woman, but Emily jumped anyway. Marley winced. "Sorry."
Emily smiled. With the makeup wiped off her face, the bruises were more pronounced and stark on her white skin. Her green eyes were still kind and so was the weak smile she wore. It reminded her of taking in an abused puppy who was hoping you would treat them better.
"I thought I'd make you some breakfast before I… before I left," Emily told her, handing her a plate of scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon. "A thank you."
Marley's mouth literally watered. "Thank you. But can we talk about where you're going from here?"
Emily's smiled faded at that. "I'll be okay. I'm not sure what I'm going to do but… Thank you. You and Steve, well, you made me think about some things."
"Like what?" Marley prompted her, digging into her breakfast like she hadn't eaten in days.
"My brother… He tried to help me, you know. He tried to tell me he wasn't a good guy. But he's my younger brother. What did he know?" Emily took her own plate to the table and Marley joined her there. "My little brother knows more than I do. He even said something to him… and he didn't tell me what was said. I know the bastard threatened him. I know he threatened my brother and made him back away from me and I just… let it happen. Let that asshole come between me and my brother. I can't believe I did that."
When the other woman dissolved into tears, Marley put a hand over hers. "The fear is the worst part. But I didn't have anyone who that could be threatened or used against me. That's just… That must hurt."
Emily nodded, her eyes shiny with tears. "I want my brother back. Will he… forgive me?"
"Yes," Marley said with no hesitation. "He will."
"I know I can't… stay here. I don't mean here," Emily motioned at the compound around her. "I need to find a new town. A new start. I don't want to run but…"
Marley didn't mean to peek at the memories in the other woman's head. For every memory where the man she'd seen last night knocked the hell out of Emily, there was a scene where he was loving, gentle. That was the very worst part. Searching for those moments that you could use to tell yourself it was worth it, it was fine. That the other person really did love you.
"It's not running," Marley whispered. "It's starting anew somewhere else. But maybe you could take a few days and think about it?"
"I don't think I can stay here though," Emily explained. "I got a reminder on my phone last night about employees going into areas they aren't authorized for. It didn't feel like a friendly random reminder to just everyone."
Marley shook her head. "Damn it, Tony. I'll talk to him. We can't just toss you out into the streets. Not when your ex will be…"
"Be waiting?" Emily asked. "He blew up my phone last night. The first couple of hours were sappy, lovey, apologetic messages that I wanted to answer but I… Then he got angry and angrier. Then the messages just… stopped."
"There's no reason you have to maintain contact with him, is there?"
Emily's expression was thoughtful. "No. He wanted us to move in together but I'm glad I didn't do that now."
There it was. The fear. Bucky wanted Marley to move in with him and she kept putting off giving him an answer. Why? Once upon a time, she'd been terrified of Grant, allowed him to bully her into living together in a small apartment. Between the beatings, the emotional and verbal abuse, her life had been hell.
Now she had someone loving, wonderful. Bucky couldn't be more different from Grant if he tried. Marley shook her head at herself. Why would she tell Bucky no? Didn't they pretty much live together anyway?
"Sometimes cutting off all contact is the thing to do," Marley told her. "Make a new start of it."
"Is that what you did?"
Marley sighed and dropped her gaze. It would be so easy to nod and let it end there. But that wouldn't be the truth. If she wanted Emily to trust her, she needed to be honest herself.
"No, I killed him," Marley said slowly. "I didn't intend for that to happen. But that was the night I found out about… my powers."
Emily's eyes were huge. "I'm so sorry."
"Me too," Marley told her.
Bucky and Steve walked in, both grinning as they walked into the apartment covered in sweat from their run. Steve nodded to them before helping himself to her fridge and bending down to survey the contents. He completely missed Emily openly ogling him as he pulled out a bottle of water. Catching herself, color darkened her face as she turned back to her plate.
Bucky's amusement faded as he leaned down to press a kiss to Marley's cheek. "How are you feeling, doll?"
"Better. Emily made me breakfast," Marley told him.
And that's when she noticed it. Something was wrong. Bucky did a good job with trying to close his mind to her, it was something he did when he didn't want something to worry her. Concern was there in his beautiful eyes, in the way rubbed her back with his metal hand.
Steve had to be a terrible poker player. The grim set of his face was even worse.
When his gaze shifted to Emily though, his eyes were even sadder. Wait. Was it Emily? Had Tony said she couldn't stay in the compound? And they were worried how Marley would react?
Relief flowed through her and she released the breath she didn't realize she was holding. That had to be it.
"How are you, Emily?" Steve asked her, his smile not quite reaching his eyes.
She self-consciously tucked a stray curl behind her ear, knowing her bruises were uncovered and unfiltered.
"Good, thank you. I got the best night's sleep I've had in some time. I really appreciate everything," she told him, sincerity evident in her green eyes. Standing with her plate, she tucked it into the sink and walked around them to the bedroom. "I'm just going to go grab a shower and get my things."
The minute she walked out, Steve's eyes slid closed.
Marley was pissed. "Tony said she can't stay? Is that it?"
"Doll, it's okay. She can't stay here but he's going to help her start somewhere else," Bucky kept his voice calm.
Tears stung the backs of her eyes as she glanced up at him. "She worked for him," Marley bit out. "That's it? That's all she gets?"
The stony expression Steve wore only egged her on. He agreed with her. It was right there in his head, blaring.
"Marley," Bucky whispered, looking about as fragile as she felt right now. "Let's go over here and talk a minute, okay?"
She allowed him to move her to the couch where he sat next to her, and Steve perched on the edge of the armchair. He was so careful with her, as if any quick moves would break her. Where was this coming from?
"Bucky, I'm sorry," she told him. "I'm not upset at you. I just went through what she did and I'm selfish and I just want… I want to keep her here for a while, you know?"
"I know, doll," Bucky said quietly. "Steve's working on it. But there's something else we need to talk about."
"I'm going to go get a shower," Steve told them, eyeing Marley sympathetically as he headed for the door. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
Marley waited for him to walk out before turning to Bucky. "What's going on? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." He took her hands in his, pulled them into his lap. She didn't miss the tremor in his flesh hand.
"Natasha? Clint?"
"They are fine, Marley." Looking down at their hands, he took a deep breath. Then his gaze locked with hers. "God, I don't know how to say this."
He looked so wrecked that her mind went to her biggest fear. "You're leaving me?"
"Shit, I'm fucking this up." Bucky pulled her into his arms, his chin resting on her head as he held her. "I'm not leaving you. I promise. But I have something I need to tell you and it's not going to be easy to hear."
Marley gently eased back from him, shaking now. "Say it. I love you. I trust you. Just tell me."
"Marley, Nat got some intel from that HYDRA post. It wasn't about you. It was about another girl born in the same experiment," he said slowly. "She was like you. She had fire powers, pyrokinesis. She wasn't as strong as you are."
Marley stared at him hard, startled when a single tear slid down his cheek. "Don't get in my head, please. Just let me tell you."
How bad was this going to be?
"This other girl, they decided to see if they could use her to get a stronger kid. Someone who could do more than her. Poor thing had… ten miscarriages, had two babies. HYDRA's hidden them somewhere. We don't know if they have abilities or if they are… well, they could be as strong as you. We don't know."
Marley's mind scrambled. "They forced her to…" She felt sick. What had the other women been through then? So many miscarriages. The births? How traumatic would that have been? And to have been a captive of HYDRA at all. She knew what they'd done to Bucky. There was no reason to think they'd been in any way delicate with the woman Bucky spoke of.
"We have to find them," Marley told him, resolved to help in any way she could.
"We will. That's just what Tony said."
"What that poor woman must have been through." Marley shook her head. "I just hope we can get her the help she needs."
The pain in Bucky's expression hadn't lessened. Was there more?
"She's gone," he whispered. "She killed herself."
"Then the children are alone?"
Bucky nodded, taking her hands again.
"What else, Bucky? Please? This is hurting you, I can feel it," she whispered.
"Bruce will need to look at you and I called Shuri last night, she's on her way here with T'Challa," Bucky said carefully.
"Look at me? Why –"
"Bruce said that the other woman's powers were much less than yours. The reason she had so many losses was… because of those powers. She couldn't…"
Oh God. The only time she'd given any thoughts to pregnancy had been her fear of getting pregnant by Grant. If that had happened, she'd never have been free of him, so she'd taken so many precautions and tried really hard to finish him in other ways to reduce her risk.
Having children? Before the pyrokinesis, she thought maybe, one day. If she met the right person. But it wasn't until after her deadly abilities made an appearance that she found someone she thought she could spend her life with and now…
"If I'm so much stronger than her… I won't ever be able to get pregnant, will I?"
His hands squeezed hers. "There's nothing preventing you from getting pregnant. But the powers will keep you from ever carrying a baby to term."
And that thought just made it worse.
"I'm so sorry, Marley," he whispered, pulling her into his chest and holding her there. His heartbeat was a steady beat at her ear as she allowed him to hold her, her mind spinning. It seemed ridiculous to get upset over something that she hadn't given a lot of thought to but damned if it wasn't sinking in.
What if Bucky wanted a family? What if she lost him because she couldn't have children?
Pulling back from him, tears stung her eyes. "Bucky, if I can't have children, I –"
"Baby, no," he said, smoothing his flesh hand over her face. "Don't even think about me right now. I still just want you to live with me."
Though he tried to smile and lighten the moment, she couldn't so easily let it go.
"But if you should want a family one day. I can't give you that, Bucky," her heart broke a little just saying the words.
"If one day we want kids, there are other things we can do. We can adopt. As Steve pointed out, we could use a surrogate. It's not impossible, doll."
Marley's heart squeezed in her chest. He'd thought about it and even talked to Steve. Bucky had thought about a future with her. That was something.
"But wait," she saw the fear still etched in his face, "while this is disappointing, and I'll need some time to get my head around it…"
Marley didn't mean to look into his head, she just kind of caught it.
"Your friend Shuri, Bruce," Marley thought out loud. "You want to make sure I'm not already… Oh my God, Bucky."
Marley's hand covered her mouth then dropped to her belly. She didn't think she could be pregnant. She still took her pill each day, felt okay. She'd gotten sick last night when the nurse had dropped the blood bag on the floor but outside of that and being a little hungrier than normally, she thought everything was normal.
But what if?
"What if I'm…?" Marley's heart sank as she glanced up at him. "I mean, I use protection. I told you that. I should be okay but…"
He knew something. She could read it on his face without looking into his head. "What? Tell me."
He exhaled, looking so tired in that moment. "Bruce said, looking at the woman's information from the intel that contraceptives like that wouldn't withstand… you know."
Well, shit.
"So we just need to make sure I'm not pregnant," Marley said slowly. Please don't let me be pregnant. "And then is there something we can use?"
The corners of his mouth tipped up at that. "Bruce said he'd come up with something."
Steve came back in at that point, glancing at them with a careful expression.
"I'm just going to wait for Emily," he explained. "We're going to go talk to Tony."
"Thank you, Steve." Marley meant it. "For anything you can do for her."
Steve nodded as she hung onto Bucky.
"We're going to take care of you too, Marley." Kneeling in front of them, his gaze met hers reminding her she was part of his team. "I'm sorry about what we've learned but at least we know and can find alternative solutions. Life as an Avenger is far from easy. We have to fight to live normal lives just as much as we have to fight for those who do and take it for granted. That includes looking after each other."
Marley nodded, grateful for Steve's friendship. Reaching for him, she hugged him tightly.
Just as Steve rose, Emily quietly entered the room with her things. Steve's gaze swept over her, noticing the careful makeup that hid her bruises, the way she stood meekly before him.
"Hey, Emily," he said, all of the confidence he'd just spoken to Marley with gone.
"Hi, Steve." She blushed.
Bucky and Marley exchanged a knowing glance.
"Hey, let's go talk to Tony about everything. How would that be?" Steve said carefully as if he were talking to a scared child.
"Oh, thank you but it's okay," Emily said. "I was just telling Marley that it's probably best for me to move on, get a fresh start somewhere else. Maybe closer to my brother."
Steve nodded.
"I still think you should maybe take a few days and give some thought to your next move," Marley sat up and looked at Emily. "If you went and talked to Tony, I'm sure he could give you that much."
"This is the safest place for you right now," Bucky added.
"They have valid points," Steve said as Emily considered what they said. "Any rash decisions could send you right back to…"
Emily seemed conflicted as she gazed at each of them in turn.
"Please, Emily," Marley pulled out the look that seemed to work on Bucky. "Just a few days to get your thoughts together."
Her small shoulders dropped, and she nodded. Steve motioned her to the door. "Come on. Let's go talk to Tony."
Emily looked doubtful but she went, Steve closed the door behind her and damned if he didn't look nervous.
Marley and Bucky laughed as soon as they thought they were out of earshot.
"See what I mean?" Bucky grinned, shaking his head. "Never could talk to dames."
Marley enjoyed the moment, a brief respite but it wasn't to last.
Bucky let out a deep sigh. Reaching into his jacket pocket, Marley was surprised when he pulled out a slender box, a set of two pregnancy tests that he must have picked up after his run with Steve. His hand shook as he handed it to her.
"Marley, I got these… " He was struggling to talk, staring hard at the box. "We need to find out and just in case, I thought maybe some privacy would be…"
She nodded, taking the box from him. He was right. She'd pee on the stick and in five minutes, they'd know either way. If she wasn't pregnant, she could happily talk with Bruce about contraception for pyramaniacs and meet Shuri who had done so much for Bucky.
But if she was…
Shaking her head, Marley rose from the couch. "I'm going to do this. We'll just rule this out and then we'll know how to move forward I guess. Right?"
Bucky slowly rose next to her, taking her in his arms as if she were made of glass.
"Whatever happens, I love you, okay?" his breath was warm against her neck. "You're not alone in this. You've got me, baby. I promise."
Marley pulled back to kiss him tenderly. "I love you, Bucky."
"I love you."
His expression was so sad. She wanted so badly for the test to be negative to make that expression go away.
He sat back down on the couch and watched as she went into her room, into her bathroom. She took the time to read over the instructions and with shaking hands, removed the test, followed the instructions.
Sending up every prayer she knew, Marley tried not to watch the test. She pulled her jeans back up, closed the lid of the toilet and sat down. She was just about to snatch up the plastic indicator and march out into the living room and watch it with Bucky but if it ended up negative, he would have sat there worrying for no reason.
That's when she saw it. The second blue line slowly began to appear.
No.
Her prayers went unanswered as the line darkened, solidified. She sat frozen, stunned and cold just staring at the test wondering why the universe hated her so much.
She was pregnant with Bucky's baby and she wasn't going to be able to have him or her. She'd just learned about the tiny little life inside her, just in the last few moments, and it was going to be snatched away from her.
Her hand pressed against her tummy and a low sob ripped from her throat.
She never heard Bucky even enter the bathroom. Gently he scooped her up, carrying her out to her bed and sinking down on it with her in his lap. He pressed kisses to her hair, trying to soothe her by caressing her back.
"It's okay, baby," he whispered. "We're going to be okay."
"How did you know?" Marley realized that he had now.
"Pheromones," he whispered. "Your smell changed. It's part of the enhancement. It made me a better…"
"Bucky?" Marley pulled back to see the same pain ripping her apart in his face. "I want it. I'm not asking you… I mean we never talked about all of this. I'll understand if you don't… But, I want him or her. Are you sure there's no way?"
"Doll, if there's any way you can keep the baby, we'll find it," he whispered. "Together. It's part of us. If you want it, so do I. I'm with you. I love you, Marley. It's not over yet. Shuri's amazing, she did so much for me. And we have Tony and Bruce. Between the three of them, there might be a way. We can't give up yet."
The hope in his beautiful eyes made her pause.
"Best thing is to stay calm, doll. Shuri will be here in just a little while. Tony and Bruce are meeting us. We'll come up with something."
Marley nodded, her heart hopeful just looking into his eyes. He meant it. He meant every word.
"And if anything should happen," he said slowly, "Tony said he could help us adopt, doll. He said whatever you wanted."
Bucky had become her entire world. Letting herself sink into his arms, she listened to the strong beat of his heart as he and Steve spoke quietly, waiting for the Wakandan princess that Marley was praying would know a way to save her baby.