See Part One for disclaimer and details. Howdy, and welcome/welcome back to the story! Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing and sending feedback via email and feedback, it's definitely appreciated. And we know we say this a lot, but please, keep it coming! We need it like Xander needs his Twinkies, or Cordelia her shopping fixes...

Speaking of which, one of the reviewers privately asked, "it's been five chapters, when are you going to have Xander and Cordelia get together?", which made us realize we might have been neglecting that aspect of the story. Shame, shame on us for doing so! Anyway, hopefully we'll address that soon; but in the meantime, in order to whet your appetites, please enjoy...

Part Six: Close Encounters

Wolfram & Hart building, Los Angeles

January 25th, 2004

Angel's liaison to the Senior Partners, Eve No-Last-Name-Given, was pacing around in her office, looking worried and annoyed.

{ Cordelia Chase wasn't supposed to ever wake up, } she thought to herself savagely. { I had that straight from the Senior Partners themselves, damn it! And yet, thanks to that meddling, one-eyed asshole, she's walking and talking again. Now what do I do? }

Her choices were rather limited, unfortunately. Thanks to Xander's actions involving the Powers That Be, Eve knew that Angel's Seer was now beyond the reach of the Wolf, Ram and Hart; otherwise, she'd have been killed within that hospital room, long before Whistler had shown up to tell everyone his not-so-amusing story. The Senior Partners would have been subtle about it – killing the Vision Girl in such a way as to cast blame on someone or something else, in order to keep Angel distracted – but unfortunately, that never had been an option under these circumstances.

{ That little bastard Harris, he's screwed up everything, } Eve seethed to herself. { And not just for me, but maybe Lindsey as well! My boyfriend's plans are in serious jeopardy now. So the question is, how do I put things back to the way they're supposed to be? }

Going over the hastily-written reports and analyses of the situation, Eve quickly arrived at the conclusion that there was only one thing she could do. Wake Harris up, in order for those cursed Powers to back out on the deal he'd made with them. Hopefully, hopefully, that would restore the status quo by putting the Seer slut back in a coma where she belonged – and then the liaison figured she could kill Harris, so that he wouldn't ever interfere in any way again.

{ Okay, } Eve thought to herself, feeling relieved once that decision was made. { That's the 'what', but as for the 'how'... }

The immortal child of the Senior Partners thought about it for a while, before doing some digging in the files. Then she cross-referenced her short-listed choice of candidates, and eventually made her decision on the mage to do her dirty work. Under normal circumstances, of course, she would have just assigned the job to Cyvus Vail, a member of the Circle of the Black Thorn; but that particular demon would almost certainly refuse to do it.

Vail was smart enough not to want to risk attracting the personal attention of the Powers That Be, damn him.

"Hello, Mr. Rayne," Eve greeted Ethan politely, after he had been smuggled into her office in order not to come to Angel's attention. Or that of any of his personal lackeys. "It's simply delightful to meet you."

"Likewise," Ethan inclined his head respectfully. The woman before him was human, at least biologically, but he could tell from her aura that there was a lot more to her than just the attractive face and equally attractive set of knockers. "To what do I owe this honour?"

Eve got up from behind her desk, and slowly walked around it to face the British wizard. "I wanted to meet you, in order to offer you a job."

"Ah, I see. Regrettably, I fear I must decline, due to personal commitments-"

"You're dying, I know," Even interrupted smoothly, as a look of astonishment appeared on Ethan's face for a moment. "That soul-scraping spell? The firm maintains an interest in all the magicks it sells to its clients; past, present and future. You have my sympathies, about how you'll soon cease to exist in every sense of the word."

Ethan didn't believe her for a moment. He just replied, "Something I'm rather anxious to avoid, you understand. So, unless there's anything directly pertaining to my predicament, I'm afraid I'm not in the market for employment by your firm."

Even raised an eyebrow. "You could always commit suicide right now, you know. That would stop the dissolution of your soul, once it departed this plane and arrived at its final destination."

"Yes, well, I'll keep that in reserve as my, ah, ultimate contingency plan," Ethan told her honestly, rather amused by her candor. "Still – where there's life there's always hope, and all that."

"Exactly. That's why I'm offering you a deal, Mr. Rayne; wake up a certain comatose individual, and I'll give you that chance at life."

"What exactly do you mean by that?" Ethan narrowed his eyes at once, sensing the beginning of a negotiation.

"The Senior Partners can turn back time, Mr. Rayne. Wake up the individual I need, and as a reward Wolfram & Hart will send you back to when you first fragmented your soul. With the knowledge of what'll happen if you don't get help from someone like that shaman you recently consulted with. Wo-Pang, I believe his name is?"

Ethan was somewhat impressed by the offer, as well as how thoroughly this place kept tabs on such things. Still, he knew better than to blindly accept the deal, just like that. "If your Senior Partners can turn back time that way, why only the last seven months? Why not send me back to four years ago, before I got incarcerated by those blasted Initiative people in the first place?"

Eve just stared at him coldly. "That offer is not on the table, Mr. Rayne. The reasons need not concern you, even though I'm sure you can figure them out for yourself if you try hard enough." That was unlikely, actually, as Ethan didn't know enough about Eve and Lindsey's plans for Angel and his people; but then, that didn't really matter right now. "Now, are you in or out?"

"We'll need to discuss a few details, but if your offer is genuine, then who am I to say no?"

CEO office, Wolfram & Hart building

A few minutes later

Angel winced from the loud noise as Dawn slammed the phone down on the other end of the transatlantic line, and then he got up to pour himself a drink at the mini-bar not far away. { I honestly don't get it. How did things ever become so screwed up? }

It was, of course, tempting – so very tempting – to blame Xander for the entire mess, but unfortunately, Angel knew that that simply wasn't true. The boy had only done what he himself should have done, long ago – whatever was necessary to wake Cordelia up. Harris wasn't responsible for what had happened afterwards...

It was the Seer herself who had wielded the metaphorical knife that had been plunged into his unbeating heart, within that hospital room.

{ It's yer own fault, just assumin' that everything would be hunky-dory once that deceitful little bitch woke up, } his inner Angelus sneered at him. { Seriously, boy-o, have you forgotten just who and what she is? Not ta mention, was? }

{ Shut up, } Angel thought back at once. { Cordelia was possessed after she came back from the Higher Realms. Everything that happened after Lorne's memory spell last year, it wasn't her fault! }

{ Oh? Really? 'Cause that stuck-up little snob was dumb enough to let that Skip fella do what he did while you were waitin' for her in Malibu, wasn't she? Wonder what was she thinkin' – that Heaven would come with beauty parlors and shoe shops, plus no-spending-limit credit cards? } Angelus gloated. { Still, you're just emphasizing me point. Plus, everything that cradle-snatching little whore said after she came back, it was all a lie. She said she loved you? Ha! You heard her in that hospital room – and that 'I still love you as a friend' line, didn't it just make ya want to rip her lungs out? }

{ No. It made me want to find another Mohra demon, infect myself with its blood and get rid of you again; this time for good, } Angel coldly told him, which caused Angelus to snarl in helpless fury. { Now be quiet. Annoy me again, and I'll start visualizing about saving puppies and helping little old ladies cross the street – as well as wearing one of Xander's Hawaiian shirts! }

The threat actually worked, as the soul won a minor victory over the demon. But Angel didn't get to enjoy it for long, as the door to his private office was almost yanked off its hinges and Buffy stormed in, with Faith right behind her.

"Buffy? What are you doing here?" Angel asked, looking confused. Not only had Harmony failed to announce her arrival, but he'd have been willing to bet money that nothing would drag her or Willow away from Xander's bedside right now, short of an apocalypse.

"Why didn't you tell me about Spike?!" Buffy demanded hotly, her eyes blazing with anger.

{ Oh, that. } Angel shrugged. "Why didn't you tell Dawn about Cordelia? She was yelling at me about that over the phone just now, actually."

"Council's gonna have one nasty phone bill this month, I'm betting," Faith commented philosophically.

Both Buffy and Angel ignored her. The blonde Slayer shouted at the vampire, "That's completely different!"

"How, exactly?" Angel riposted, looking his ex-girlfriend directly in those beautiful green eyes of hers. He wasn't in the mood to pull any punches as he said, "Because if you'd cared enough about the subject, you'd have told Dawn the truth about Cordy being in that coma. Likewise, if I'd cared enough about the subject, I'd have called and told you about Spike emerging out of that amulet. It's that simple, Buffy."

"No, it's not!" the Summers woman fumed, before abruptly turning to her sister Slayer for support. "Faith, you know I'm right! Tell him!"

The brunette shrugged. "Actually, B, the way I see it – Angel and Spike have been fighting over you for ages now. So you honestly expected your ex here to help the competition that way? That's – kinda naïve..."

Angel chuckled and Buffy grew livid, but Faith wasn't done yet. She said to the vampire, "And hey; a lover versus a high school friend? Not the same ball park, not the same league, hell – not even the same freakin' sport, pal. And that's ignoring the whole 'Spike sacrificed himself with that amulet' thing as well."

If he could have, Angel would have gone red over the rebuke. { Yeah, some sacrifice that was! Because nineteen days later, he was right back to being a pain in my ass... } "Dawn mentioned something about that as well, even though I don't know how she learned Spike was back. To be honest, I get the feeling she doesn't like me much right now..."

"What did ya expect, after you and everyone else lied about Cordelia?" Faith shrugged. "And with regard to Spike, yeah, I can sorta see where you're coming from. Dawn always liked him more than you, but don't forget about the Xander factor; seriously, big guy, my money says Pip's real pissed over that. So I'd start prayin' that our boy comes out of his coma five-by-five if I were you, and sooner rather than later. Or else Li'l D might come to town with a bunch of Slayers at her back, lookin' to make you fit into an ashtray!"

Angel gulped, ignoring Buffy's startled look. { Yeah, maybe Dawn would at that. Okay, I gotta beef up security around this place! }

The phone rang, and Angel picked up. "Hello? Harmony, I'm kinda busy right now, this'll have to wait-"

He paused for a few moments. "Yeah, I know there are a couple of Slayers on the premises. Yeah, I know it's their job to kill soulless vampires – what? How the hell should I know what your contract says about hazard pay, under these circumstances? I don't-"

Another pause. Then Angel began to look angry. "Complain to the union? We don't have a union around here! Well, not after I killed...what? Complain to Spike? Harmony? HARMONY!" He slammed the phone down back on its cradle. "I don't believe this..."

"So hard to find good help nowadays?" Faith smiled at her friend.

Angel pseudo-sighed, before writing an address down on a piece of paper. "Faith, could you do me a favor? Head on over to Spike's place, and nip all this in the bud before my soon-to-be former secretary convinces him to do something stupid..."

Faith accepted the paper from her undead friend, and then left the office with a quick wink and a nod. Witnessing this, Buffy felt a brief pang of jealousy over their friendship; in some ways, it seemed that her ex-boyfriend was a lot closer now to the Slayer that had tried to kill him rather than the one that had loved him, way back when.

"So. Are we gonna talk about it?" Buffy asked Angel.

"Talk about what?"

"That Dana girl," the Slayer said, making Angel blink with the abrupt change in topic. "How I gave orders to Andrew that she be taken away from you, after she was finally tracked down. And after Andrew came back to England, that geek told me that he said how none of us trust you anymore, not even me. I mean, he did say that, right?"

Angel's face immediately got colder. "Yeah, he did. And I gotta say, it hurt hearing that. A lot."

Buffy hastened to say, "I never told him to say that, though – I do trust you, it's just..."

"Giles doesn't trust me. Neither do a lot of other people connected with the Council," Angel said what Buffy couldn't. "I'd imagine the Immortal isn't singing my praises, either?"

Straightaway, Buffy looked exasperated. "First Xander, then Spike, and now you? Oh, my God! What is with the guys in my life being unable to accept my boyfriend?"

"Maybe it's on account of how the Immortal completely humiliated me and Spike, back in 1894? And as for Xander...c'mon, Buffy, do I really have to dignify that with an explanation?" Angel asked challengingly. "I mean, centuries-old guy with a dark past, who's done things that would instantly make Harris hate him? At least with me and Spike, he's willing to work with us to prevent the annual apocalypse. I'm not wrong in guessing that Harris refused to grant the Immortal even that much favor, am I?"

Buffy scowled at him, turned around and immediately stalked out of the office.

Restricted area of the coma ward, Wolfram & Hart private hospital

Later that night

"Cordelia?"

"What is it, Willow?"

The witch paused, noting that the Seer was still holding Xander's hand tightly. "Um, can we talk? I'm, uh, kinda concerned."

Cordelia slowly turned her head to look at the redhead curiously. "About what? I mean, what do you mean by that?"

"Uh, well, I was just thinking. Apparently, your apartment in Silverlake? Some other people are living there now. And, uh, Angel's hotel, the Hyperion? It's pretty much empty and abandoned. So, um, I was kinda wondering if you had any place to go home to?" Willow shrugged.

Cordelia's eyes immediately became moist, and her voice hoarse. "What?"

"You, you can stay with me at my hotel for now, if you like," Willow offered hastily. "And I'm sure that Angel still has all your stuff in storage somewhere. He could probably set you up with-"

"No," Cordy interrupted at once. "I mean, yeah, I'm gonna get my stuff back – but I don't want to owe Wolfram & Hart a damn thing. Literally. Maybe Angel's forgotten what comes with that, but I haven't. Swear to God, everything's gone to hell without me there at his side, to kick him in the ass whenever he needed it..."

"Kinda like what's happened with us, I guess, that thing with Xander not talking to Buffy anymore," Willow said reflectively.

"Yeah, that Whistler guy mentioned something about that. That Xander gave up on both Buffy and you. Never thought I'd see the day," Cordelia shook her head. "Wanna fill me in on the details?"

Willow hesitated, but then told the other woman about why she had to remain out of touch with just about everyone, until the Council's settlement with the disaffected Slayers and the grieving families of the dead was complete. "I tried at the start to keep in touch with him, I really did – but Xander was always so busy, and I had Kennedy and everything else to deal with, and I just..."

"I get it," Cordelia said after Willow trailed off. "Seriously, I do. Heck, it wasn't that long ago I screwed up that way with my ex-boyfriend, Groo. Well, kinda sorta, anyway," the brunette added self-consciously. "Even though I know it's been ages since he left me, up here?" Cordy pointed at her head, before pointing at her heart. "Down here, it feels like it was only a few weeks ago, instead of nearly two years!"

"Right. And speaking of former boyfriends..." Willow hesitated, before she blurted out, "How do you feel now about Xander?"

"Huh?"

"Well, during the flight from London, I started discussing what had happened with Buffy – and I figured that deep down he still loves you, even though it's been nearly five years. I mean, Xander sacrificing himself that way for someone he hasn't seen or even talked to for that long? Pretty much a no-brainer. So, uh, I was kinda wondering how you felt about him nowadays? Whether or not there are still feelings involved, on your part?"

Cordelia froze. She was still totally focused on the first sentence as she said, "Are you actually saying that, that Xander loved me back then? He never, ever told me that!"

"I know. He never told me that, either. But, y'know, best friend since kindergarten; he sorta didn't have to. I could tell how actions spoke louder than words – like, he didn't fight for me after I chose Oz instead of him, all he could think about was you! How he'd lost you. Plus, he musta left a hundred messages on your answering machine back then, and Xander was so incredibly jealous of Wesley after that guy showed up-"

"Don't go there," Cordelia cut her off firmly. She still had somewhat ambivalent feelings where that Englishman was concerned, due to the role he'd played in Connor's kidnapping, but even if that hadn't been an issue she didn't want to think about that part of her past right now.

Because her senior year of high school? Not a time that held many happy memories for her. Especially getting impaled by that damn rebar. The scars on her back and abdomen had been a constant reminder of a betrayal so heinous that, at the time, the young woman had found it impossible to forgive her boyfriend for his actions.

"And to answer your question, it's too soon for me to say whether there are still...feelings, involved. I mean, don't get me wrong, I owe Xander my life – and I'm so grateful to him for saving me, I'd give him just about anything I have in order to express my gratitude properly! But whether there are still feelings there, never mind getting back together with him? That's – well, that's something I'm gonna have to seriously think about!" Cordy exclaimed.

Willow shrugged, deciding to change the topic of conversation. "I guess. Still, do you wanna maybe take a break and stretch your legs a bit? I mean, you've been watching over Xander for, what, the past thirty-six hours? I can stay with him, if you like – you look kinda tired, a-and could do with some rest."

Cordelia's hand automatically drifted to her hair, as translated into the feminine, the word 'tired' means 'disheveled.' She opened her mouth to deliver a stinging retort, but realized just in time that Willow honestly hadn't meant to say anything offensive. "All right, fine. I guess a break wouldn't hurt – but, can I borrow your cell phone? If anything happens, you can call me like straightaway."

"Sure, no problem." Willow handed it over. She then pointed at the landline phone which had been installed in the corner, not long after Cordelia had woken up. "I'll call you from there, I promise."

"And thanks for the offer to stay at your hotel room, by the way. God only knows what the state of my bank account is," Cordy exhaled wearily. Then she headed for the hospital room door.

"You're welcome," Willow said, as the Seer nodded and left. Once she was alone with her comatose friend, the witch said softly, "Oh, Xander. I'm so sorry. For everything..."

Outside Xander's hospital room

A few moments earlier

Ethan made his way down the corridor, considering various scenarios relating to his current task. He was feeling dubious, but determined to succeed. Dubious because Rayne was actually familiar with the target, and he didn't like coincidences; but determined to succeed because, in the end, it was his own existence at stake if Wolfram & Hart didn't follow through on their part of the deal.

As he walked, the Englishman noticed a rather good-looking bird coming the other way. Then Ethan tensed up, getting the feeling that he knew her from somewhere...

{ Oh, hell, it's one of Ripper's brats! } Rayne thought to himself, suddenly recognizing Cordelia. Ethan then silently cursed at the big-breasted totty who'd managed to knee him directly in the balls, while he was trying to escape from Eyghon. { That's all I bloody need – and if she's here, the odds are the rest of them will be, too... }

Ethan suddenly recalled Willow Rosenberg, who Eve had warned him would most likely be present in the target's hospital room; someone who needed to be neutralized, in order not to interfere with his mission. { To think, that little girl grew up to be one of the most powerful magic users in the world. Why am I not surprised...and come to think of it, why hasn't she woken the man up herself? }

Then Rayne pulled himself together, as the ex-cheerleader came closer. { No time for wool-gathering, old boy. Focus – neutral disinterested expression, nothing to see here... }

Ethan passed her by in the corridor, without so much as a look. Cordelia frowned as she kept walking, getting the oddest feeling that she knew the older guy from somewhere...before dismissing it from consideration. Well, the Seer did have a great deal on her mind right now, and Cordy had only ever met Ethan once, over six years ago. A lot had happened since that night in the old high school library, and hey; fresh out of a coma, too.

So Cordelia continued to walk towards to the hospital cafeteria, thinking to herself, { My apartment's been rented out to someone else. Oh, Dennis, I'm so sorry! You must hate me for leaving that night and never coming back, ditching you without even a token goodbye. Or – no, even if I did go back there after I was possessed by that Jasmine thing, it still doesn't count. I'm gonna have to call home and leave him a message – hopefully, the number won't have changed. And then- }

Cordelia never had a chance to complete that thought, as a vision suddenly appeared in her mind. It was something of a special occasion, actually; as for the first time, the mystical warning came not from that late and unlamented rogue who had almost killed the Vision Girl, but from the true Powers That Be. { What the... }

There was no pain; Skip had made sure that would never again be an issue as part of Jasmine's plan, but the intensity of the vision was such that Cordy's eyes went completely white, as she foresaw what would happen not long from now.

Namely, the mysterious stranger she'd passed by less than a minute ago putting Willow into some sort of mystical trance, and then waking Xander up somehow – before she herself collapsed onto the floor, screaming before falling to the ground unconscious.

No, comatose.

{ Screw that! } the emotional and vindictive part of her brain snarled viciously, before Cordelia turned around and raced back to the coma ward as fast as she could go.

Inside Xander's hospital room

The same time

Ethan hmm'ed to himself, as his surprise attack against Willow worked. He could feel the girl's power, which vastly exceeded his own, and so was grateful that it hadn't come to a magical duel between them; as he almost certainly would have lost. { Yes, who was it that once said cheaters never prosper? Whoever it was, they obviously lived in some sort of ivory tower... }

"Tara," Ethan heard Willow say dreamily, before he ignored whatever else the carrot-top started babbling on about. Rayne quickly walked up to Xander and inspected the one-eyed man carefully, before detaching some of the wires and machinery from around his head. Summoning every bit of his magical strength, the British wizard put his fingertips on the sleeper's forehead.

{ Wake up, boy, } Ethan commanded, trying to force himself into the young man's mind. { I know you can hear me. The time has come for you to wake up. So WAKE UP, damn it! }

There was resistance, feeble but nonetheless detectable, as if somewhere in the depths of his limbic system, Xander recognized that this wasn't right – and Ethan's intrusion into his head was unwelcome enemy action. Still, said resistance was so weak that Rayne could have easily overcome it – if he'd had the chance.

Cordelia unexpectedly bursting into the room, however, denied Ethan that chance.

"Get away from him!" the Seer screamed at the top of her lungs, and the British sorcerer was distracted by the brunette blur that tackled him to the floor – and which had started glowing with an incredibly bright white luminescence.

Ethan suddenly vanished, before the entire room was engulfed by a blinding flare of that actinic, incandescent light; and when it finally faded, Willow started rubbing her eyes in confusion.

Not far away, Cordelia was out cold on the floor.

Inside Xander's mind

A moment later

Slowly at first, Cordelia became aware of a white light that she could easily perceive, even though her eyes were firmly shut. Not understanding why that should be so, she opened her eyes and looked around.

Unfortunately, she had no idea where she was.

The white light vanished, and a sense of anxiety began to intrude into her consciousness. Feeling troubled, Cordelia quickly noticed two things; both disturbing, in their own way.

The first was that she wasn't breathing and that her heart wasn't beating, either. The second was that there was no illumination anywhere, now; just total blackness, all around her. She called out, "Hello? Anyone there?"

"You're not supposed to be here," a vaguely familiar female voice said, as candlelight suddenly appeared all around her and Cordelia could see again.

"Dawn? DAWN! What are you doing here? And where the heck are we, anyway?" Cordelia demanded, looking around at the featureless black tunnel before focusing back on her companion.

The young woman shook her head. "I'm not Dawn, Cordy. This is just an image so that you'll have something trustworthy to initially relate to, in order to calm down. And as for the second part, honey, take a wild guess."

{ Honey? Wait a minute, don't tell me... } "Xander? Is that you?!" Cordelia shouted, her sharp mind working quickly.

"Not exactly," 'Dawn' said, before her image shimmered for a moment and then Xander stood in front of her. Or at least, a younger Xander with two eyes; someone who was dressed in green military fatigues and holding an M-16. "I'm Xander's subconscious, actually. That part of him which figured out that something was wrong where you were concerned, during a dream about the past."

"Huh? Dream about the past?"

Abruptly, Soldier Xander morphed into Anya Jenkins, wearing her white wedding dress. "That's right. My wedding day, actually. And as best I can figure it, you've entered into my mind, somehow. Wanna clue me in on how you managed to pull that one off, sweetheart?"

"Stop calling me stuff like that! Or at least, go back to looking like yourself when you say it, okay?" Cordelia huffed. "You're almost starting to freak me out, here!"

"Sorry." 'Anya' morphed back into Soldier Xander, except now he was wearing a black BDU shirt and pants, and wielding a CAR-15 submachine gun. "Is this any better?"

"Yeah, lots." Cordelia took a moment to privately admire the view, before focusing back on the important stuff. "So, I'm inside your mind? Okay, I wasn't exactly planning on that, but now that I'm here – well, how the hell do I wake you up, already?"

"You can't. Not without ending up back in a coma – and then dying, afterwards," Soldier Xander said calmly. "The Powers were real clear about that. So do us both a favor, and don't even try. Don't let anyone try."

"But-"

"No buts, Cor," Soldier Xander interrupted her, before turning and walking away. "The PTBs don't care about human perceptions of right and wrong, or fair versus unfair. Are you telling me that you haven't learned that the hard way, by now?"

"Hey! Where are you going? Damn it, Harris, wait for me!" Cordelia shouted, as she hurried after him. The young woman then glared at Xander's subconscious, as soon as she caught up with him. "Geez! I always knew that deep down you were a complete jerk, but it woulda been nice for you to prove me wrong!"

"Jerk I may be, but I never forgot you," Soldier Xander said, reaching out for and taking one of her hands in his. Cordy was so surprised, she let him do it without question or comment. He went on, "Despite not having seen or talked to you for nearly five years, I could never fail to remember you. Because no one could ever infuriate and excite me the way you did, not even Anya."

"Well, duh!" Cordelia said, trying to conceal the flush of excitement and self-satisfaction that comment had elicited. She quickly forgot about the whole 'jerk' thing as she added, "I'm Cordelia Chase, after all!"

"The one and only," Soldier Xander nodded.

"And don't you forget it. Hey, where are we going?" Cordelia demanded.

"I'm not entirely sure," Xander's subconscious admitted. "I'm mostly going on what I remember Willow saying she did when she went into Buffy's mind, during that whole Glory mess. Too bad you weren't there for that, by the way. We could have used your help on that one."

Cordelia was somewhat startled to hear that. "Really? You mean that?"

"I'm not the conscious waking mind. I'm Xander's subconscious, sweetheart – so if I say it, I mean it," Soldier Xander said.

Cordelia didn't know how to reply to that, as they continued to walk through the ex-carpenter's mindscape. Because that piece of information ran counter to just about everything she knew about her former boyfriend. { Wow. Xander and I actually have something in common, besides the obvious? I might just faint... }

The long, black corridor, or whatever it was, abruptly became a chamber containing a number of cages. Cordy looked around in surprise and said, "What the-?"

"Stick close to me," Xander's subconscious told her at once. "We need to pass through here to get to where we're going – I think. Just don't get too close to the...uh, occupants. Not sure what'll happen if one of them grabs hold of you, Cordy, but I suspect it won't be anything good."

"Right," Cordelia said nervously, as they ventured further into the strange chamber.

"Lemme save you some time, and start answering your questions on who's who," Soldier Xander said, as they passed by the first cage. "That's the remnants of the swim team Fish Monster, from roughly the end of junior year."

Cordelia shivered and pressed herself tighter against Soldier Xander, at the sight of the dark-grey aquatic creature that stared at her hungrily – before it transformed into a Xander clone with gills instead of a nose, and inhuman, shark-like teeth. Cordy looked at Fish Monster Xander and said, "Gross!"

"If you say so. But his legacy has proven useful. Superior breath control during sex, for example," Xander's subconscious said with a perfectly straight face, which almost made Cordy stumble in shock.

She had to force herself to remember that this wasn't the 'real' Xander Harris; this was what lurked beneath the class clown exterior, which had none of the issues or inhibitions her former boyfriend had often exhibited. { Kinda makes me wish he could have let this aspect of himself out to play back then, I hafta admit... }

"And this, this is the leftovers of the Hyena spirit possession," Soldier Xander pointed his gun to the next cage, where a large brown dog-like creature lay sleeping.

Cordelia looked at the cage in confusion and interest. Unlike the others, it had a ditch moat around it, and a sign on the railing: Brown Cave-Hyena (Pachycrocuta brevirostris). The Seer then started as suddenly, without any warning, the prehistoric giant hyena awoke and changed into a teenage-looking Xander Harris – who jumped up, and forcibly started reaching through the bars of its cage as far as it could.

"MINE!" Hyena Xander roared loudly, its glowing green eyes fixed onto Cordelia's hazel ones as she came to a halt. "Breed! Now! MATE!"

Mesmerized by the inexplicable attraction she felt towards Hyena Xander, Cordelia might have gotten to within arm's reach – if Soldier Xander hadn't grabbed her and hustled her away. { Whoa! Okay, that was weird... }

"Didn't I tell you to stick close to me?" the Harris subconscious demanded, derailing her thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry, it's just..." Cordelia trailed off, wondering what the hell had come over her.

"I know. Human instinct, and animal passion. Not all that surprising, since that part of Xander Harris still considers you a good choice of mate," Soldier Xander nodded, calming down. He ignored Cordelia's freaked expression as he added, "It's lucky you weren't around while the conscious mind was possessed by that greater totemic entity during sophomore year, actually. Otherwise, well – there's a good chance that the Hyena would have ignored Buffy and gone after you, instead."

"Really?" Cordelia asked, her mind still reeling in astonishment. "But, but back then, we weren't together. Not even close!"

"Physical desire. It's been there since the day you started growing tits, even if it had serious competition related to Slay-gal, and given a choice? Odds are the Hyena would have gone with the older and more established feelings. Only problem is, he wouldn't have stopped until you were pregnant with his spawn – and that's not exactly a good thing at sixteen years old, not anymore," Xander's subconscious said contemplatively. "Although it would have made you useless to Jasmine, if nothing else."

"Huh? I mean, seriously?" Cordelia said in amazement.

"Think about it. Your parents were non-practicing Catholics, but they still raised you to think that abortion is wrong. So you and your mom probably would've left town after the pregnancy test came back positive, and you'd have had the baby somewhere far away, like...I dunno, Switzerland. If I know you, you wouldn't have given the kid up for adoption, either; and with a two-year-old son or daughter to look after, your situation after high school would have been totally incompatible with the plan which Rotting Corpse Maggot-Face Lady and her demon lackey had in mind," Harris explained. "Not without drawing unwelcome attention to themselves, anyway."

Cordelia was utterly stunned. "I don't know what to-"

"Of course, in that scenario I'd have been either rotting in prison for rape, or else shot dead by your father," Soldier Xander interrupted, ignoring the expression on Cordelia's face. "So, you'll understand that I'm glad it didn't actually work out that way. Even though sex with you would no doubt have been worth it."

"Oh, you loser asshole!" Cordy flung out the insult without even thinking about it, while giving him a hard whack on the arm. She didn't appreciate tactless and blunt when it was aimed at her, any more than the next girl. { Infuriating, exasperating male... }

"Sorry, but that's the superego and the id. Something which works solely according to the pleasure principle," Soldier Xander said patiently. "I'm the subconscious, my territory is instinct and hunches. Along with the inner geek, of course." His clothing suddenly blurred and altered, and Cordelia found herself looking at the classic Han Solo movie outfit: navy blue pants with Corellian Bloodstripes tucked into black boots, a white Henley top and a navy vest. He even had a laser gun strapped to one leg.

Cordelia suddenly glanced down, and squawked at seeing herself wearing the Princess Leia slave girl outfit. "Hey, knock it off – you, you perv! I mean, change it back – right now!"

"Fine. Even though, in all seriousness – baby, that outfit is something that'd make every straight guy drool helplessly over you."

"True, but flattery will get you nowhere, buster!" Cordy snarked, even if she secretly appreciated the ego boost his words had created; and she also made a mental note to model the outfit for him at some point in the future. Well, either that or her Pylean princess costume. "Now presto change-o, and snap to it!"

Their clothing changed back to what they'd been wearing a few seconds ago, before they started walking again. Soldier Xander pointed and said, "And getting back on topic, over there is Rennfield Bug-eating Xander."

Cordelia watched in amazement, as they passed by the next cage with an older-looking Xander trapped inside. The words "DRACULA'S THRALL" visibly tattooed upon his forehead, Rennfield Bug-eating Xander stared at them, before he started cackling madly. "New mistress in the house! Release me, and I'll be your faithful servant, my Queen!"

"As if! I can smell your breath from here, eww!" Cordelia almost gagged as she and Soldier Xander continued on. "Why do you keep him around?" she demanded of the Harris subconscious.

"He helps in being able to eat things which might otherwise make us puke," he replied straightforwardly. "Handy survival trait."

"If you say so." Cordelia then said, "I still don't-"

"Hey, Soldier Boy! Bring the blood bag over here, will you? I'm starving!" a voice that sounded almost exactly like Xander's, but not quite, suddenly interrupted her.

Soldier Xander ignored that and said to Cordelia, "Stay close, sweetheart. Last one."

The Seer nodded, and then gasped in horror. Not far away, trapped in the specially reinforced cage, was a Vampire Xander. "What, how-?"

"Remember Anya? And how she created a world where Willow and I were vampires, and we killed you? The waking brain wanted to know details, despite my screaming warnings about that, so Ahn did some sort of memory-sharing ritual thing to satisfy his curiosity. Apart from leaving her at the altar, it was the worst mistake he ever made," Soldier Xander said emotionlessly.

"Oh, now, let's not be so quick to judge, G.I. Joke! Personally, I think letting Cordelia here get away and allowing his original destiny to be ripped apart by Jasmine and Skip, all because he couldn't control his hormones – that has to be the worst mistake Xander Harris ever made," Vampire Xander said with a big smile on his demonic face, before leering at Cordelia. "Worst one I ever made was not turning you into a vampire when I had the chance, back in my world!"

"You're sick," Cordelia said to him in revulsion. "And me as a vampire? Yuck, as if!"

"Don't knock it 'til you've tried it, babe," Vampire Xander continued to leer and wink at her. "I mean, having an undead Queen C at my side, with you eternally young and beautiful like this? Don't know what was wrong with me, that night..."

"Let's go," Soldier Xander grabbed Cordelia's arm again and hustled her along, ignoring the jeering captive vampire. "And before you ask, I would have exorcised him at once if I could have, but I couldn't. Besides – he's become part of Xander Harris now, just as much as the other aspects you've encountered in here."

"And that's supposed to be a good thing?"

Xander's subconscious said slowly, "The killer instinct is occasionally worthwhile. And you of all people should know that, Cordy."

"Uh – no, wait, stop!" Cordelia abruptly dug in her heels and brought them both to a halt. "We need to talk, mister! So just – stop. Stop for a second, okay?"

Soldier Xander nodded. "Okay. And what do we need to talk about?"

Cordy hesitated. "Well, for starters, how about the fact that you put yourself into a coma for me? And sure, there was a time I'd have just rolled my eyes and called you 'deficient' for it, but – damn it, Xander. What were you thinking when you did that? What were you feeling when you did that?"

Soldier Xander shook his head. "It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. And I already told you, sweetheart, I'm the manifestation of your ex-boyfriend's subconscious. I don't do feelings. Sorry, but it's not part of the job description."

The Seer had to force herself not to grind her teeth together in frustration. "Fine. Then what are your, uh, instincts and hunches, what are they saying about what the real Xander feels for me?"

Soldier Xander was quiet for a few moments. "First off, I am the real Xander, or at least part of him, and I don't appreciate you suggesting otherwise. Secondly, there are still strong feelings there for you, as far as the conscious mind is concerned."

"There are? Really?" Cordelia beamed happily. "Strong feelings?"

"Of course. Feelings for you and Anya, but especially you. Because you were there first. Honey, you helped make Xander Harris the man he is today," Soldier Xander nodded.

"I did? Well, of course I did! But, uh, hold on – I, I don't understand something. I mean, if that's the case, then what did the Vamp Xander mean just now when he said that your original destiny had been, uh, ripped apart?" Cordelia asked, suddenly looking confused.

Soldier Xander shook his head. "You don't want to know. Trust me on that."

"Hey, I asked! That means I want to know!" Cordelia fired back hotly. "So, spill, mister!"

Then she heard it; a crackling, sizzling sound coming from behind her. Spinning around, Cordelia saw a large blue-white ball of energy that was covered with sparking electricity. It was slightly taller than her, and she could see vague impressions of people forming, dissolving and reforming again within its depths. "What the hell is that?"

"The memories," Xander's subconscious told her tersely. "Step inside and see it for yourself, if you really want to find out what sort of life Xander Harris was originally supposed to have."

Soldier Xander then morphed back into 'Anya'. "But don't blame me if you don't like what you learn."

The image of Anya turned into 'Dawn'. "And don't blame me if you experience some other memories, either. Because this sort of thing? Not really what you might call an exact science, honey." The female avatar for the Harris subconscious then vanished completely, leaving Cordelia alone in his mindscape.

"You really are such a complete and utter doofus, Alexander LaVelle Harris!" Cordelia exploded. Before she inhaled deeply and prepared herself as best she could, and walked into the blue-white ball of energy.

Later, she would never be able to accurately describe the alien male emotions that immediately blasted through her in a primal, almost erotic sort of way. But then, it was as if she was within the African witch doctor's mud hut, and experiencing what Xander had learned in Zanzibar that night. The life that her high school boyfriend would have had together with her, had he never engaged in that illicit affair with Willow –

His job in Los Angeles, mostly just carrying stuff for other people and hammering nails, but still working in show business; even before she did. Becoming her manager, once they'd moved to the East Coast. Becoming her husband. Becoming the father of her children. Their lives together over the next seven decades –

The anguish and sense of loss that lanced through her soul were impossible for Cordelia Chase to accurately describe, once the full impact of that registered –

But then, just as Xander's subconscious had warned her might happen, Cordelia accidentally experienced another set of memories – the trials her ex had undergone in order to petition the Powers to save her life. Like Darla had done with Angel all those years ago, the Seer experienced all the pain Harris had gone through for her –

She screamed, for quite a long time.

Suddenly, everything went white.

TBC...