::
"Um, sir? Aren't… Aren't you a ghost?" Like Danny it seemed, most of the class looked to be at a loss as to what to do.
"Well made observation. Now, open your books to page 27." Settling back into the desk chair, Andrew watched as the students hesitantly did what they were told. "Before we begin, let's get whatever questions you have out of the way. I'm sure I'll only have to answer once, since half of you have your phones out and are hiding them under your desks."
"This is going to be the best day ever," Danny quietly mumbled, Sam giving a choked laugh beside him. Seeing a few students hesitantly raise their hands, he watched Andrew sigh and give a gesture towards one of them.
"Uh, I believe I speak for all of us when I say, what the absolute fuck?" A ripple of laughter spread across the classroom, Andrew rolling his eyes.
"Your school was looking for substitutes. Due to having finished a teaching program before my death, I was qualified for the position. My brother also happens to be an idiot, and sent in my resume before I could track him down and stop him. The school is fully aware of my status as a ghost, and have promised me that if I bring any harm to any of the students, I would 'regret it'."
Danny could hear the quotes around the last two words. Unfortunately, most didn't seem to notice the humor so much as other parts of the explanation, "You have a brother?"
"To my great dismay. As if atoning for my sins by dealing with him in life wasn't enough, I have to deal with him in the afterlife, as well." Digging through papers on the desk now, a few students laughed along with Danny when most of them were tossed into the trash bin. "Next question."
"Why is your name so normal if you're a ghost?" There were going to be a lot of ghost-related questions, Danny could feel it now. "Like… Shouldn't it be all, you know, ghosty-"
"The word you're looking for, Ms. Anderson, is ghostly. Proper grammar and English, thank you. Now, every ghost has a name they're known by in our world, the ones you know being Technus, Skulker, and Ember." Someone asked for his ghostly name, Danny biting back a laugh at Andrew's look. "Ghostwriter. Refer to me as such, however, and I must assume you are challenging me and I will feel no regret in using any or all of my powers against you. Next."
"Aren't you a ghost that's seen around with Phantom a lot?" Oh… Oh, this was going to be interesting.
"A lot of ghosts are 'seen around' with Phantom, I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific." That could be taken the wrong way very easily, and judging by the smirk Andrew shot him, the jerk knew it, too.
"Like, you're one of the few he hasn't sent running. Are you friends with him, or something?"
"Or something." Danny noticed Sam was looking at him strangely, which he didn't blame her, since he had buried his head in his arms and was trying not to laugh. "Are there any other questions dealing with Phantom?"
"Do you think he's cute?" Peeking up at that, Danny tried to hold in his laughter as he looked to Andrew, who had a very dangerous smirk on his face and oh. This was not going to end well for him.
"Considering I end up ruthlessly pounding him into my mattress most nights? Yes, I suppose I find him quite cute." The entire room went dead silent, Danny feeling as if ice water had just been dumped over him and oh. His mate was just being cruel, now. "Now that the questions are out of the way, we can get to actually attempting to teach you something.
"First off, forget whatever you've been told when it comes to Shakespeare. His plays are trashy, after labor specials not fit to be studied centuries later. Second off, your teacher is an idiot and your syllabus is trash. Please feel free to rip it up and toss it out the nearest window." Standing up, he moved back to the board, marker in hand as he wrote in quick, clean, precise lines.
"For the next four weeks I am going to teach you about the classics, and books that should be remembered. Lessons on totalitarian society, lessons that our past can teach us, and how to word a test essay to please the most idiotic of graders. Are there any questions so far?"
"So," Paulina spoke up with a raised hand. "Are you gay?" Well, Danny had warned Andrew about the idiots he went to school with.
"Yes. Now, to page 27 like I was saying. Considering I've seen the kind of work you do in this class, today and tomorrow are about reviewing basics. Without those, you'll have no idea what to do with the concepts I will teach you. First up, tenses. For as much as this is a lesson fit for elementary students, half the teens today have no idea how to refer to something in the past versus that of the present. We're going to fix that problem.
"Now, first up, some words remain the same throughout tenses. Example. I will hurt your teacher as soon as he walks through that door. I did hurt your teacher, but no one ever convicted me of it in a court of law. Note that hurt is the same in past and future tense, and the way to tell the difference are the words used around it."
Turning around, and absently flipping the marker like he would one of his knives, Andrew's grin widened at the total silence of the room, and looks on the student's faces. "Now, papers out and list every word you can think of that is the same throughout tenses. At the end of the class, you'll be knowing more than when you started. And won't that just be a miracle of the modern education system?"
::
"So. I guess Randy wasn't kidding when he said he was going to submit your resume, huh?"
"You are being entirely too amused by this situation," Andrew sighed, looking up to where Danny was sitting on his desk and kicking his legs. "Aren't you supposed to be having lunch, right now?"
"What? I can't eat lunch with my favorite teacher? The blasphemy." Grinning at the look, Danny shrugged, grin utterly unrepentant. "So, for the next four weeks, you're actually going to be teaching someone other than me. Grateful, or regretful?"
"The only joy I will feel is when I sink my knife into my brother's unmoving body. Also, your peers have no concept of context clues. Danny… I am worrying for this school greatly." It had been a simple lesson and already he was seeing so many problems in the students' learning capabilities.
"You and every other sane teacher. Spoiler, there isn't many of them." Chuckling, Andrew looked back to the mock test papers, blinking as he felt his chair pushed back. It was possible he then might have blushed when Danny straddled his lap, lips pressing hard against his own.
He almost sank into the feeling, hands already sliding around to cup Danny's hips and pull him closer. He then remembered that they were in a school and that the classroom door was open. He quickly fixed it by using his powers to close and lock the door, but it was the principal of the matter. "I'm rather certain that it's frowned upon for students and teachers to have relationships."
"'Frowned upon' I can work with," Danny beamed, rubbing the tip of his nose against Andrew's, and, really. Andrew was far too weak to him. "Besides, it's not like anyone is going to find out." Shivering as Danny's arms tightened around his shoulders, Andrew couldn't stop his quiet groan as lips pressed against the side of his neck.
"I feel like I should at least try to lecture you about public decency and the trouble you could get into. Your parents would probably trap me in a thermos if they were to ever hear of this-"
"'If'," Danny pointed out, pulling back to peck Andrew on the lips. This time, Andrew made sure to eagerly return the kiss, hand moving to cup the back of Danny's head and keep him close. "I have a long lunch."
"Perfect." Really, ten more minutes wouldn't make much of a difference. He'd scold Danny on how this was a one-time thing later.
"Andy." Much, much later.