See Part One for disclaimer and details. Hi, and welcome to the latest chapter of the fic! Thank you, everyone, who has read and reviewed the story and sent feedback so far. And given some of the reviews and comments lately, even though we don't usually ask this, we couldn't help wondering – do you, the readers, believe that we're not portraying Angel accurately in this fanfic? We were trying to show him as a guy caught in a very difficult situation during season 5 of the show, and having to deal with the consequences of his actions both during and after the events of NFA – including Cordelia choosing someone else instead of him, as a result of everything that's happened in the story. Sorry if that wasn't clear! Anyway, here's the latest two-parter, for your reading pleasure...
Part Twelve: Xanderhog Day, Part One
Angel Investigations, Los Angeles
June 21st, 2004
"Uhhh! What the fuck-?" Xander panted, looking completely freaked. He was sweating, and looking like he'd just had the mother of all bad dreams. The last thing he remembered was the floor of his hotel room splitting apart as if hit by a giant earthquake, and then some weird demon creatures had appeared in what had been the walls of the building, screaming as if in pain...
{ Okay. Okay. Either I have major psychological problems, or else that was one hell of an unexpected nightmare, } Harris cogitated to himself. He then swung his legs off the bed and stood up, stretching. { And it's not like I can blame it on eating too much pizza last night... }
Recent events quickly ran through the young man's mind, what had happened over the past twenty-four hours. After going downstairs yesterday morning, he'd noticed Angel departing the building through the front doors; and later, Cordelia had told him that the ex-vampire had quit his job at the detective agency and was leaving town. Something that, much to his surprise, Xander found that he had no real feelings about, one way or another.
Afterwards, the doctor had pronounced him in good health and he'd gladly shoved the wheelchair away, as Melissa had said goodbye and wished him all the best for the future. But then Willow, Buffy and Giles had shown up; and while the ensuing reunion had been nostalgically pleasant at first, that had soon changed...
Because the witch and the alpha Slayer had started babbling about how Xander was going to leave L.A., now that he was finally okay to travel. How he would move in with one or the other of them, and they would take care of him. How they would watch out for him, so that he never did anything so foolish ever again. Her temper quickly reaching boiling point, Cordelia hadn't taken that well at all. And to his credit, Giles had tried to stop it...
But both Willow and Buffy had seemed completely unable to understand what the head of the Council was attempting to do. And to their disbelief and dismay, it had finally ended with Xander cynically asking the new arrivals what color the dog leash they were planning to put around his neck was going to be; before Cordelia had summarily ordered Buffy and Willow to get out of her home, and never come back.
Talk about a nasty scene to witness.
Anyway, Xander had left Cordelia's office not long afterwards, saying that he was going to go for a walk. He hadn't wandered too far from the building, just in case, and eventually returned later that afternoon after visiting one of the local banks to learn what was the state of his savings account and investments. Much to his relief, Harris had learned that he didn't have to worry about money, at least not for the short term; as the beneficiary of Anya's will, financially speaking he was in pretty good shape. Better than he'd dared hope after waking up from the coma, at any rate.
After he'd returned to Angel Investigations, he'd spent some time inspecting the would-have-been hotel, noting how some areas still weren't finished off properly. The executive construction worker within him was utterly appalled by some parts of what he'd seen, actually, and Xander had made a snap decision to stick around here until at least the place was up to code and his own personal standards.
Something that, no matter how much she'd tried to hide it, had definitely made Cordelia very happy, if not outright ecstatic.
Later, he'd watched a movie – While You Were Sleeping with Sandra Bullock, ha-ha, very funny – with some of the Slayers he'd known from Sunnydale, before deciding to retire to bed.
He hadn't seen Dawn all day, but to Xander's mind, that wasn't surprising. He knew that he'd upset her by threatening to end their friendship if she didn't back off about Cordelia, and so it was best to let her calm down before approaching the angry brunette again. Back in Sunnydale, he'd suffered through enough of her teenage snits to know that approaching Dawn Summers while she was pissed was just asking for trouble.
{ Now that's odd, } Harris thought to himself, ending the woolgathering as he abruptly noticed the wheelchair right next to his bed. { What's that doing here? Did someone bring it up during the night, for some reason? }
And then, just like when he had arrived at the Hyperion Hotel after Sunnydale had turned into a giant crater – a cold chill suddenly crawled up Xander's spine. { Something's wrong. I dunno what, but I get the feeling something...is very wrong... }
Main lobby, Angel Investigations
A short while later
A soft bell chimed, and the elevator opened with Xander striding out, walking on his own two legs. Something which, as soon as Faith noticed it, made her rush over to where the man was standing and looking around in confusion. "Hey, Xander, what are you doing? You know you're not supposed to be walking yet! Not until the doc gives you the okay!"
"Not now, Faith," Xander told her absently. He then rushed over to where the main check-in counter was, and examined the day calendar. His eyes almost bugged out as the man said, "Great Pan and all his weeping virgins, it's Monday? Again?!"
"Huh? What do you mean, again?" Faith didn't get that. Because for her, yesterday had been Sunday –
"It means that Houston, we have a problem," Xander said urgently. "Seriously! Listen to me, Faith. Yesterday was Monday. Today is supposed to be Tuesday! Damn it, what's going on?"
"Yesterday was Sunday, and today is Monday. You get hit on the head or something, pal?" Faith demanded.
"No!" Xander shook his head, thinking quickly. "Uh...wait, if my yesterday was, like, completely erased – oh, geez. Ohhhh...Faith, you ever see that movie called Groundhog Day? 'Cause I'm thinking maybe, just maybe...I mighta become like the guy Bill Murray played in that flick, Phil whatever the hell his name was!"
"Phil Connors..." Faith remembered the name, and was pop-culture savvy enough to get the reference at once. "No shit?" The next moment, though, she was convinced after seeing the annoyed expression in Xander's eyes. "All right, assuming you haven't lost it completely – what's the plan?"
"How should I know?" Xander looked at her in annoyance again. "C'mon, Faith, I don't even know why I'm able to remember what happened! Ya think we should ask around if anybody else can remember yesterday, like I can?"
Faith gestured around the lobby. "You see anyone running around, like they can't believe what's going on?"
Xander had to admit, the Slayer had a point about that. "Okay, then, I...oh, crap." Harris paused for a few moments, thinking furiously. "He wouldn't have, would he? Not again!"
"You just lost me on the hairpin curve. Whatcha talking about?" Faith demanded.
"I just remembered, Faith – this has happened before. Well, kinda," Xander told her, an angry expression appearing on his face. "A few years ago, Buffy got all caught up in a time loop thingy for a while. There was this episode with an evil mummy hand in the Magic Box, and – no, never mind. The point is, it was those three nerds who were responsible – Warren, Jonathan and Andrew. And since both his partners are now dead..."
"Your prime suspect is the guy who thinks that being a Dungeon Master is a business class ticket to cool points? Yeah, I see where you're going with this," Faith nodded. She then called out, "Vi! Have you seen Andrew anywhere?"
"No, actually, I haven't," the red-haired Slayer frowned, as she came over to join them. "In fact, I haven't seen him since yesterday, or maybe the day before. And hey, Xander, you're not supposed to be-"
"Don't," Xander cut her off, with a sinking feeling in his chest. He had the horrible feeling that he was going to be hearing that sentence a lot in the future, if they didn't get this damned mess fixed soon. "The doctor will be here in less than an hour and give me a clean bill of health; we went through all this yesterday."
"Yesterday?" Vi frowned.
"Yeah. Yesterday was Monday – for me, anyway. By the way, surprising me later tonight with While You Were Sleeping? Don't even think I'm gonna watch that movie two nights in a row!" Xander told her sternly.
Vi looked stunned. "How did you know-?"
"It's Xanderhog Day, sister," Faith suddenly unleashed a huge grin, the last fragments of doubt now swept away. "Keep it to yourself for now, but apart from Our Man Harris here, looks like we're trapped in a time loop! Groovy, huh?"
Vi looked at the older Slayer in consternation. "Groovy? How do you figure that?"
Faith shrugged, before holding up her breasts. "Well – I no longer have to worry about gravity eventually making the girls here sag, for starters!"
Xander shook his head. { Trust Faith to find the bright side in any situation. Even one like this! } "All right, let's focus here. Willow and Buffy and Giles aren't due to show up until later this morning, so we need Wes to do a locator spell to find Andrew's ass, pronto. Vi, can you go find Monarchy Boy, let him know what's what?"
"So what do you want me to do?" Faith asked, as Vi nodded and raced off.
"Few days ago, Cordelia told me that Andrew hangs out with Spike. Something about those two setting up kitten poker game nights, way back when?" After Faith nodded, Xander added, "Then let's go visit Dead Boy junior, see if he knows where that geek is."
Spike's basement apartment, Los Angeles
A while later
Xander wasn't in the best of moods, as he and Faith had been delayed in getting here by L.A.'s typically horrible Monday morning traffic. Nonetheless, he forced himself to be patient as Faith banged three times on the door. { Come on, Spike, we haven't got all day! Except that worst case scenario, we actually might... }
William the Bloody opened up, looking like he was in a bad temper. Well, duh; vampire. For him, this was almost the middle of the night. "What do you two effin' want?"
"Gee. Looks like someone got up on the wrong side of the coffin this morning," Faith smirked.
"Oh, yeah, very funny, Slayer. Somethin' like that, it's sure ta put me in a good mood and wanna help in whatever it is yer after," Spike growled.
"We're looking for Andrew. You seen him?" Xander got down to business.
"That tosser? No. What's he bloody well done now?" Spike abruptly shifted from annoyed to exasperated, in terms of mood.
"Maybe nothing. That's part of what we're trying to find out," Xander said, before his gaze widened and he looked behind Spike incredulously. "Dawn?"
"What are you doing here this early, Pipsqueak?" Faith asked.
"Don't call me that! Damn it, Faith, I start college in just a few months!" Dawn replied, looking annoyed. "And to answer your question, I didn't want to spend last night at Cordelia's detective agency. Not when I was so mad at a certain someone!" She glared at Xander. "And before you ask, I don't know where Andrew is either. Not that I'd be likely to tell you, even if I did!"
Xander exhaled noisily. "Gotta admit – you really do remind me of Buffy right now, Dawn. And believe me, it's not a compliment."
Those big blue eyes flashed angrily, and Dawn immediately slammed the door shut in Faith and Xander's faces. The Slayer turned to her companion and said, "All these years you've been hanging around the femmes, dude – and you still don't know how to talk to us properly?"
"More like I've got a low tolerance for other people's issues, Faith. Or at least, right now I do," Xander shrugged. "Oh, hell. You got any ideas on where else we might look to find Andrew's tukus?"
"Nah. Hang on, I'll call Gunn; see if my boyfriend might have any thoughts on that," Faith got out her cell phone, as they walked away from the apartment and back up the stairs.
"You and that guy, huh? Hey, don't get me wrong, from what I remember Gunn was a damn good man to have on and at your side – but seriously. First Robin, now him? What happened, Faith? Did I ruin you for every other white guy in this world?" Xander asked with a perfectly straight face.
Faith stared at him in shock, before her lips started twitching madly. A few seconds later they were both snickering, and then laughing semi-hysterically. Finally, Faith managed to get herself back under control.
"Hey, once you go black, you just never go back. And you gave me one hell of a flashback to the bad old days just now, stud," the Slayer said laughingly, before she abruptly sobered up. "And I never did apologize for trying to strangle you after we did our impression of the beast with two backs, did I? I am sorry for that, though. For whatever it's worth."
"Apology accepted. And it's worth something, I guess," Xander shrugged. "Watery blood over the bridge now, though."
Faith eyed him suspiciously, as they came to a stop outside the building. "Just like that?"
He shrugged again. "If I could forgive Willow for trying to kill me on Kingman's Bluff that day, then I can do the same for you on the attempted asphyxiation thing. And at least you never lied to me about Cordelia being in a coma, like she and the others did."
{ Oh come on, this again? } "Look, Xander, I'm not condoning what B and Red and Giles decided to do, you know that – but they didn't exactly have malicious intentions that night-"
"Sure, I figured that out almost as soon as one of the Council people hacked into Angel's emails for me. But like the old saying goes, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions," Xander interrupted smoothly, gazing deeply into Faith's dark eyes. "And fact is, we had quite the argument about that sort of thing, after those three showed up yesterday."
Faith looked both uncomfortable and curious at the same time. "How bad did it get?"
"Bad enough that Cordelia threw Buffy and Willow out of the hotel, and ordered them never to come back," Xander replied, before shaking his head. "Anyway, your boyfriend?"
"Right..." Faith hit the speed-dial for Gunn's number. A few seconds later she started talking to the man in question, before Charles handed his phone over to Wesley and he told Faith where the tracking spell had located Andrew. Which, by extraordinary coincidence, wasn't too far away from her current location.
The Slayer and her companion soon found Wells crawling along the street, before picking him up and carrying him back to their car. They quickly drove Andrew back to Angel Investigations, before dumping him on the lobby's couch.
"What the hell is he saying?" Shannon demanded, unconsciously touching the scar where Caleb had stabbed her last year as she listened to Andrew's incomprehensible babbling.
"I don't know. It's not any language I'm familiar with; human or demon," Wesley frowned.
"bortaS bIr jablu'DI' reH QaQqu' nay!" Andrew suddenly shouted, causing many people to recoil in alarm.
Rona's eyes widened, as she suddenly remembered where she'd heard that phrase before. One of her brothers was a Trekker, after all. "No way! It can't be!"
Xander nodded. "Yep, 'fraid so. Andrew just said that 'revenge is a dish best served cold' in Klingon. Well, guess it's better than those crappy love poems of his..."
"What the hell's going on out here?" Cordelia demanded, coming out of her office and joining the group clustered around the sofa where Wells was writhing. She looked at the guy and said in confusion, "Andrew? What the hell is this? What happened, where have you been?"
The geek's reply was again in Klingon, and immediately everyone looked to Xander for the translation. Harris shrugged and said, "You don't want to know what he just said."
"Why not?" the Seer demanded, not exactly in the greatest mood for stalling.
"Because you'd be tempted to kill him for it afterwards." Xander abruptly straightened up and leaned closer to the hallucinating nerd before shouting in a slightly accented voice, "Mister Wells! TammoH, petaQ!" He then slapped Andrew across the face with the back of his hand.
"Hey, hey, that's enough o' that!" Gunn automatically protested, before anyone else had a chance to do so.
"My apologies, Captain Picard," Andrew then said, his throaty and accented English causing everyone apart from Harris to stare at him in surprise. "Lieutenant Commander Wells reporting for duty, sir."
"Status report, Lieutenant Commander," Xander said sharply, even as Cordelia opened her mouth to demand answers.
"Situation non-optimal, sir. I was kidnapped by the Romulans and interrogated for information about Miss Chase," Andrew babbled, still caught up in the grip of his hallucination.
Xander immediately glanced at Cordelia in concern, before fixing his gaze back on Andrew. "What sort of information?"
"I...I...SoHvaD pagh vIjatlh, nojtaHghach romuluSngan!" Andrew suddenly screamed, his eyes becoming filled with hate as he stared at Xander without any trace of recognition.
"What did he say?" Cordelia demanded, instinctively moving closer to her ex-boyfriend.
"He said, and I'm kinda loosely translating here, 'I ain't got nothing to say to you, Romulan filth'," Xander said. Then he turned away from the hallucinating Andrew, dismissing him from consideration. "Well, whatever; this is pointless. I'd say it's pretty obvious that whatever's happened to him, Andrew's not responsible for the mess we're currently in-"
"Oh? And what mess is that?" a familiar female voice interrupted, as Melissa and the doctor arrived on the scene from upstairs. "And do you mind telling me where you've been all morning, and what you're doing out of your wheelchair?"
{ Oh, yeah. This is gonna get real annoying real fast, I can just tell, } Xander thought to himself tiredly. Then he said, "Okay, fine, come and give me your final examination if you have to. Even though we already went through this yesterday..."
"What? But I wasn't even here yesterday!" the medical man said, looking confused, and staring at his patient.
"Never mind, doc. Just go with it," Faith grinned at him, as Wesley gestured to the various Slayers to hold Andrew down securely before he attempted to take a blood sample for analysis.
Xander's room, Angel Investigations
Later that night
Xander was sitting on his bed, thinking.
It had been a busy day. Wesley had learned that Andrew had a large quantity of a mystical truth drug in his system, and coupled with the nerd's semi-coherent confession about being interrogated for information concerning the Seer, Cordy had had a couple of Slayer bodyguards assigned to her just in case.
In addition, once the Seer had been fully briefed on the situation concerning Xander doing the previous day all over again, she had mentioned the Day that Never Was; something Angel had engineered with the help of the now-dead Oracles to the Powers That Be. Harris had learned from his ex-girlfriend that the former vampire had once erased a timeline where he had become human, after being exposed to the blood of a Mohra demon. And while Xander had suspected that Angel hadn't tried to do something like that again, a time-consuming trip to the man's apartment had still been necessary to confirm it.
Still, after returning to Angel Investigations, a brainstorming session had taken place, everyone present trying to help Harris figure out why this had happened and what (if anything) they could do about it. Buffy, Willow and Giles had walked in on the middle of the ideas exchange, and initially, the blonde Slayer had been somewhat skeptical that a crisis really was at hand.
Buffy's opinion had quickly changed, however, when Xander had told her everything she'd been planning to say to him after she'd arrived here from Europe. Unfortunately, Harris had later told everyone present about the Big Lie of 1998, after the blonde Slayer had said the wrong thing at the wrong time – and Faith had had to physically restrain Buffy from committing Xander-cide!
Cordelia had escorted him away from the alpha Slayer after that, figuring that it would be wise to give the older Summers sister enough time to cool off before resuming their conversation. The Seer had then driven him to Pasadena, to consult with Fred about their problem. Xander had to admit, at the time the idea had seemed to make sense; but it had turned out to be a complete waste of time when the Caltech physicist admitted that she had no idea what might have caused this, or why Xander remembered and no one else did.
A knock on the door distracted Harris from his musings. "Yeah?"
"Xander, it's me. Can I come in?" Willow's voice asked hesitantly.
He shrugged. "You know how I don't issue invitations like that, Will. Door's open, if you're able to come inside."
There was a soft 'click' as Willow turned the knob, opened the door and came into the room. After shutting the door, she looked at her childhood friend quizzically. "Seriously? You thought I might be a vampire?"
"Well, hey – I haven't forgotten about a certain incident involving a vampire you during senior year of high school," Xander shrugged. "So who's to say that what with everything else we've got going right now, Vamp Willow couldn't possibly show up as well?"
"Huh. You've got a point, I guess," the witch nodded, before shrugging and changing the subject. "I, uh, I was hoping we could talk."
"About what? What I said to Buffy earlier today?"
She briefly glared at him. "No. Even though I'm still kinda annoyed at you for not having enough faith in me that day, that wasn't what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?" Xander asked, looking unaffected by Willow's brief look of annoyance.
"Everything that happened with Cordelia," Willow said simply. "I'm sorry about – damn it, Xander, I just want to explain-"
"Don't bother," Xander cut her off at once. "We've already been through why you and Giles and Buffy did what you did. Why you guys told me that Cordy was on vacation with the Gruesome-Lug, even though she wasn't. So no point in rehashing all that stuff now, as far as I'm concerned."
The redhead wasn't entirely certain how to take that. "I see. So, uh, does that mean our friendship's over for good – or that we're okay now, as far as you're concerned?"
"I'm honestly not sure," Xander replied reflectively. "I mean, Willow, don't get me wrong – I don't hate you or anything, especially since you fixed my eye while I was sleeping. And I already said thanks to you for that yesterday; but since you can't remember it, kinda figured I oughta say it again now, ya know?"
"Well, uh, you're welcome," Willow said with a smile and a slight blush, before focusing on the rest of the sentence. "And you're not sure if we're okay now? Why not?"
"Willow – it's not that you guys lied to me about Cordy being in that coma, or at least not so much. It's the fact that she'd be a rotting corpse right now, if you people had gotten your own way and kept me completely ignorant about what had happened to her," Harris said, as his companion's expression became pale and withdrawn. "And yeah, guess it may be hypocritical, since I lied about Angel way back when; but I still can't accept how you all lied to me because you thought I couldn't handle the truth. Not so soon after losing Anya, anyway."
"No, it's not that! I mean, we just thought..." Willow trailed off, not knowing how to finish the sentence without committing perjury.
Xander shook his head. "I know what you thought – and that's why I need to tell you a few things, Will."
"Like what?"
"Well...for starters, I'm not as fragile as glass. We've lost a lot of friends and family over the years, and yet I've still managed to keep it together; and often a lot better than other people, come to think of it. Tara being a good example, where you're concerned." He ignored Willow's shocked expression and added, "Plus, kinda funny – but during our last year of high school I started to be considered a powerless nobody, which only got worse as time went on. I mean, for the next four years, I pulled my own weight – even if just about the only noteworthy thing I managed to do, personally, was prevent my best friend from destroying the entire planet."
"No, no way! You di-"
"But one day, after Sunnydale was finally gone? I woke up from maybe the weirdest dream I ever had, and I decided to go searching for the truth," Xander kept on going, ignoring the interruption. "And after I found it, I decided not to care about the past anymore. I stopped giving a damn about whether I was as powerful or useful as other people involved in the Slayage. I stopped being concerned that my friends thought that I needed to be protected from all the crap that happened in this world. I stopped thinking about all of that, and I actually accomplished something worthwhile. And not a moment too soon, either – because Cordy would have died the next day if I hadn't undergone those trials for her, and taken her place in that coma."
Xander couldn't help noticing the tears that were now leaking out of Willow's eyes. "So please don't think that I hate you, Will – because I don't. It's just – well, we simply don't fit in each other's lives anymore. I don't fit into Giles or Buffy's life, either. In part because I don't need protection the way you people think I do, but also because I quit the Council back then, and I have no intention of ever working for it again."
"Not to mention, Cordelia wants you to stay here," Willow replied, wiping the moisture away from her eyes. "And you still have feelings for her. Deep down – you never quite fell out of love with her, did you? That's why you took her place in that coma. And that's the real reason why you're not gonna leave L.A., right?"
"Hard to say, Will," Xander said, looking troubled. "It really is." He came closer, looking down into her beautiful sea-green eyes. "Still, you could be right – because my original destiny? It was to stay with her for the rest of my life. Leave Sunnydale with my girlfriend after high school, as well as love, honor and cherish her 'til death do us part."
Willow nodded, finally getting her emotions back under control. "No clothes fluke, yeah, I remember Cordy and I discussing that – the day I restored your left peeper." She then frowned at his expression. "What? Mister, I know that look! I mean, is it Anya?"
"Naw, nowadays I've pretty much made my peace with her memory. It's just...Willow, fact is I was never supposed to meet any of the people I've encountered over the past five years. And I can't help thinking that that's important, somehow. I dunno why, but meeting people like Tara and Riley and...yeah, technically speaking, even Dawn-"
Xander abruptly cut himself off. There was something...something he could almost remember, something that danced at the edge of his awareness, something that Harris instinctively knew was vital –
But then, just like twenty-four hours ago, the floor of his hotel room started splitting apart as if hit by a giant earthquake, and then those weird demon creatures appeared in what had been the walls of the building, screaming as if in agonized pain...
Xander's room, Angel Investigations
June 21st, 2004
Xander woke up and bolted upright in bed, a loud grunt issuing forth from his lips. Well, at least this time it wasn't a girly scream. He looked around his room, and sure enough, the wheelchair was right there where he'd (mostly) expected it to be.
"Well, great. Guess it's Monday morning. Again," Xander muttered to himself, getting up and out of bed. He stretched and thought to himself, { And that was obviously no nightmare, either. Hmm, gonna have to get Wes and Giles to research the earthquake and demon angle after all the explanations are out of the way, I guess. Better not mention the lie about Angel, though. Because I always thought that that conversation wouldn't ever serve any useful purpose, but now I have proof... }
As he got dressed, though, Xander could not help thinking about the chat he'd just had with Willow; a conversation which he was certain she would no longer have any memory of. Because for her, it wouldn't exist. It simply hadn't happened. Even if it had done for him.
Frowning, Harris couldn't help wondering if his oldest friend's accusations of still having loving feelings for his ex-girlfriend actually had merit –
{ No. That's something I need to think about later, not now, } Xander mused to himself, as he gave the wheelchair a semi-absent push that sent it rolling across the room and he quickly headed for the door. { Definitely something to think about, after all this is over. }
And with that, the events of the previous day started all over again...
TBC...