"We ain't gonna tell ye any details about where we're gonna be or names or any o'dat shit, just in case," Connor says, stuffing things into one of their gym bags. "But we should be back here by midafternoon at th'latest."
I know they can't give me anything more specific than that, but I still feel compelled to ask, "You can't, I dunno, contact me or something on your way back to let me know you're okay?"
Murphy glances up from the sofa where he's tying his bootlaces and cracks a half-smile despite the god-awful early hour. Why I agreed to nine o'clock at Jen's place I'll never know.
Oh, wait...early was my idea. Sigh.
"Sure, lass, we'll just call ye on yer cell phone, aye? Th'one ye don't have?"
My eyes light up as I suddenly remember that I will, in fact, have access to a cell phone today. I grab a scrap of a receipt off the coffee table and scribble a number down on each end, ripping the paper in half and handing each bewildered twin a copy.
"That's Jen's cell phone number. She has one because the company said she has to be reachable at all times, and she bitches about it, but today I'll listen to her bitch the whole time we're shopping if it means you can get in touch with me."
Connor stuffs the scrap of paper in his pocket and zips the bag he was packing. "We'll call ye if summat happens. Now, lass, ye gotta listen fer a minute. We don't anticipate dis goin' badly, but if we call ye an' tell ye t'get outta town, ye can't come back here. Ye gotta just get on the nearest train t'New York an' keep yer head down til ye get dere. We put some o'th'cash in yer purse just in case."
"What?" This is news to me, and I can feel the astonishment spread over my face. "If we were going to talk exit strategies, I feel like ten minutes before I leave to go shopping with Jen might not have been the opportune moment."
Connor sets a black bag by the front door and makes his way over to the couch where Murphy is pulling on his other boot. I'm perched on the arm of the sofa with a mug of coffee, trying to coax myself to choke down the caffeine, as I have no other source of it in the house. Connor settles next to me and holds out his hand for the mug, which I happily relinquish to him as I slide into his lap.
"I still don't know how you drink that stuff, and black no less. It's so bitter."
"You're changin' th'subject." Connor drains the last of the coffee and sets the empty mug on the table. He pulls me a little, shifting me until we're fact to face and I'm straddling his thighs.
"I'm bein' completely serious now, love. Ye know how dangerous dis is. We know we've been lucky so far, an' we're not tryin' t'be overconfident, but t'day shouldn't be a problem. But we didn't have t'worry 'bout ye on th'first two jobs, least not nearly as much as I am now, an' we want ye t'be ready in case somethin' goes wrong."
"I get that," I admit, staring down at where my hands are twisting fretfully between us. "I just...okay, so, something goes massively wrong, you call Jen's phone to let me know, and I hit the train to New York. Then what? Do you guys follow? Where do we meet? Are we on the run forever? I mean, I have work on Monday, and...well, okay, staying alive is a tad bit more important than work, but-"
"Yer ramblin', lass," Murphy interjects, straightening up from his boots. "If worst case happens, head t'New York and take a cab t'dis address."
He hands me his own scrap of paper with the name of a hotel and an address scribbled on it. As I stare at the paper in my hand, I realize they've been planning for this all week, as well. This is what I get for not wanting to be in on the details. I shove the address into my pocket and clear my throat, staring at the rosary laying somberly against Connor's chest, frowning and blinking hard.
"But you guys would come as soon as you can?" I'm not going without them. There's just no point.
"Aye, Grace. We'd follow soon as we can. But dis is worst case, lass. We'll meet up wit' ye dis afternoon, ye'll see." Connor raises his head to mine, catching my lips with his, and I can't help throwing myself into the kiss with everything I've got. As my arms circle Connor's neck and his fingers begin to dig into my waist, I hear Rocco sigh in the hallway.
"You all about done kissin' goodbye yet? Is it safe?"
Laughing, I disengage from a cursing Connor and stand surprisingly steadily, though admittedly my knees are trembling just a bit.
"Don't think you've gotten out of your kiss goodbye either, Roc. Got one for everybody this morning."
There's some brief milling about, pouring the last of the coffee for Rocco, a gathering of coats as the weather has turned a bit cooler again, and after another couple of minutes we all seem to be ready to leave. I turn to look at the guys and find myself taken aback.
I've seen them like this a thousand times before, the three of them in their coats and shades, but the expression on their faces is so foreign that for a moment it's as if complete strangers are staring back at me from behind the sunglasses. They are all intensely and utterly solemn and a little frightening as they stare passively back at me. Connor and Murphy each hold one of the sports bags they were packing earlier, their Aequitas and Veritas tattoos standing out starkly against their skin, and Rocco has his hands deep in his coat pockets again.
I swallow reflexively, my stomach twisting at the somber sight of them, and for just a second I see a flash of them from my dream, bloody and mangled. Shaking suddenly down to my very bones, I drop my face into my hands, taking in a shuddering breath and willing myself to get my shit together. They don't need this weakness from me; they need to concentrate on what they're about to do. My fingers clench into fists suddenly, the heels of my palms digging into my eyes to ward off the burning tears I feel coming.
Three deep, slow breaths later, I emerge, calm and collected if not exactly happy, from the safety of my hands and silently hold my arms out to Connor. He murmurs something meant to be comforting in my ear, squeezing me tightly and pressing his lips to mine. Murphy follows suit, telling me to try to not worry before brushing a kiss over my cheek.
And then I'm facing Rocco.
My friend lifts his shades so they're resting on top of his head and pulling his hair out of his face. I can see in his eyes he's thinking of our conversation on Thursday, and from the expression on his face I know better than to say anything in front of the twins. Instead, I put my arms around his neck, pulling the hug down to my height, and when he finally returns the embrace, I whisper, "Take care of...Take care of them for me." I kiss his scratchy cheek and let him go.
There's nothing left to say after that, so we all head out together, locking the door behind us. There's no conversation as we troop down the steps and out the building's front door into nearly blinding sunlight. Squinting grumpily at the evil brightness, I step over to the curb to hail a cab, and the boys head down the block after another brief goodbye. I watch them stride purposefully away, looking strangely smooth and a little intriguing in the morning light with their dark coats and sunglasses.
A taxi pulls up, and as I open the door to slide in, I glance back over my shoulder in time to see the three of them about to round the corner. Murphy glances back at me at the same time and tosses me a little half smile before they disappear from view.
…
"You've tried that suit on twice already."
Jen's voice breaks through the haze of worry clouding my brain, and I look up from the jacket I'm buttoning. We're in one of Jen's favorite clothing stores, as I have no favorites of my own, and she's been helping me pick out different combinations to try on for the last I don't know how many hours. I realize I'm staring blankly (and rudely) at her and decide I should probably react to her statement in a more civilized manner.
"Have I? I thought it was...oh, damn. Sorry, yeah. Bit distracted today."
"I noticed." She smiles in amusement, handing me a couple of pieces of clothing and shoving me gently back towards the dressing room. "I'll shop, you try on and remember to come out and model. You told me your budget, I'll help you figure it out at the end. Then we'll go for some food and get your blood sugar up."
I nod absently, wandering back towards the changing room as I wonder for the hundredth time if the guys are okay. They didn't tell me what time everything was going down, so for all I know, they could be done and on their way back. Or about to go in. Or in the middle of the fight.
Or…
No. Stop it.
I don't remember trying anything else on. I only vaguely recall Jen sorting through a stack of clothes with me as I blindly agree to all her suggestions. She patiently guides me up to the register and sticks my purse in my hands, nudging me in the side to motivate me to action.
I shake my head to try and clear my thoughts at least long enough to pay, and I dig through my purse to find my wallet. My fingers brush something unfamiliar, and I glance inside my bag to see a medium-sized, thickly stuffed manila envelope. I lift the flap curiously, thinking this must be the cash the boys left me as just-in-case money.
I don't know if it's actually possible to choke on nothing, but I'm pretty sure that's what I do when I see the envelope's contents. There are stacks of hundreds inside the envelope, at least five full stacks, and I have a moment of complete disconnect from reality. They stuck all that in my purse?! Are they INSANE?!
Aye, lass, crazy as dey come.
Jen nudges me once more, bringing me back to the present, and I numbly pull my credit card from my wallet, blindly signing the receipt without actually looking at the number. Jen gathers my bags and delicately propels me from the store. I panic for just a second, worried that somehow every pickpocket and mugger within a twenty block radius will somehow know I've got fifty fucking thousand dollars in my purse and come after me. Jen takes one look at my wild-eyed expression, and takes a firm grip on my elbow, steering me to the curb.
"Lunch," she says firmly, hailing a taxi.
"Yeah," I manage to choke out as we slide into the back of the first cab. "Food would definitely be good."
Fifteen minutes later sees us seated at my regular diner of all places, since I was unable to communicate what I was willing to eat and it's the only place that Jen and I both know. Becky doesn't even bother asking me what I want this time; she just brings me the cheeseburger and fries after Jen says she'll have the same.
"So what's up?" she says, picking up a fry from her plate. "I've never heard you make that noise before. Obviously everything's not okay, so spill."
"I...don't know how much I can talk about it," I finally admit. "I really want to, God would I love to talk to someone sane and firmly grounded in reality about this, but...it's not...I can't…" To my embarrassment, I can feel the tears pricking the backs of my eyes again, and a sudden knot in my throat keeps me from finishing any sort of coherent sentence.
"Hey, it's okay," she says, reaching across the table and touching the back of my trembling hand. "We don't have to talk about anything at all, if you don't want to."
"I…I do want to, it's just...let me think about what I can tell you, and then I'll share what I able to?"
I have a flashback to the first conversation I had with Rocco about the guy they're going after today, the night he and I had our first dessert date where he said almost the exact same words to me, and I shake my head silently. I don't know the symbolism of the similarity, but I'm hoping it's more coincidence than anything else.
After a few fries, I finally decide I can at least tell Jen about the stuff that was in the papers. I mean, public knowledge and all. She listens wide-eyed, commenting at first on the boys' idiocy in regards to the fight at the bar before finally falling silent as I explain what happened at their apartment with the Russians in the alley and turning themselves in to the police afterwards.
"But they're both pretty much okay?" she asks when I've finished. I nod through a mouthful of cheeseburger, and she sits back in her chair, clearly astonished. "Seriously, though? It's like something out of a bad movie that gets played on Saturday afternoon when no one should ever be watching TV."
"I know, right?! Thank you! That's what I said!" I laugh for the first time all day. "Good God, they could've both died, and they've been acting like it's just a normal week. I don't even know how to handle them."
"And now they're living with you...geez, how much not fun is it having all those guys in your house? Your bathroom must be a disaster area!"
The rest of lunch goes a lot better. I manage to stay focused on the food and the conversation as Jen catches me up on what's been going on in the office while I've been gone for the last two months.
"And your first travel assignment will be around the middle of June, so you have plenty of time to prepare for it," she says as she hands Becky a twenty at the register. I nod, digging out my own money and paying. I glance at the clock as we're leaving, and I'm shocked to see it's almost two.
"When the hell did it get so late?" I ask Jen, dumbfounded. She glances at me to see if I'm serious before answering.
"Grace, we went to five different stores this morning. Look at your shopping bags."
I glance down at the bags I'm clutching, and my eyes go wide. Holy shit. She's right.
Just as I'm about to apologize for being such a space cadet, a sharp, urgent chiming sound echoes from the depths of Jen's purse. She fumbles bags around until she can get a hand on her phone and answers with a quick, "Hello?"
Her eyebrows lower for a second in confusion, and she glances at me. Before I can ask, she says into the phone, "No, we're both fine. Nothing's weird beyond Grace being in outer space all morning, why do you ask?"
She waits a moment, listening before saying, "Yeah, hang on a sec, I'll give you to her." She holds the phone out to me, a troubled expression on her face.
"It's Connor. He says it's urgent."
I don't even think to apologize for not asking before I get her cell number out as I snatch the phone from her hand. Images of bullet holes and missing fingers flash through my mind, and I answer with a lot more panic in my voice than I intend.
"Connor? What's wrong? Where's Murphy and Rocco? Are you okay? What happened?"
"Breathe, lass, we're all alive. We're patched up as best we can right now, but we were hopin' ye could bring us a few supplies an' maybe some food. We're not in much shape to go out right now."
His voice sounds strained, but he's alive, they're all alive, and I could literally weep with relief.
"Thank God," I whisper as I let out the breath I've been holding all day. "Alright, tell me what you need and where to go." He rattles off a quick list of things that I can find at the drugstore and an address to meet them at afterwards before saying he has to go and hanging up.
I hand Jen her phone back, trying to school my features into an apologetic expression rather than a relieved one. "I'm sorry I gave them your number, but they wanted a way to reach me today since they were going on some sort of...trip."
"Grace, is...do you…" She trails off, considering her words carefully. "Connor asked me if anything had happened this morning or if we'd seen anything strange. You don't have to tell me what's going on. Just tell me if there's anything I can help you with, okay? I'll do what I can."
"I appreciate that, Jen, more than you know. I've got to go; they're asking me to see if I can get them some burn cream the drugstore, so one of them must've tried to cook again or something. Thank you for your help this morning, seriously. I'll see you Monday."
Jen nods, a troubled look on her face, but she doesn't protest as I hail a cab to take me to the nearest drug store.
Author's Note: I'm sorry. I have only excuses, no real reasons for not posting for so long. I got wrapped up in reading another fanfiction story (Star Trek, a Kahn fic...Benedict Cumberbatch, OMG AMIRITE?) and I couldn't think at all while I was reading it. To make up for it, I will post the next chapter no later than two days from now, and possibly another chapter soonish after that. I will admit to being a bit creatively blocked on the bit of the story I'm working on right now, but I think I might've found a way to knock that wall down. I hope. Thanks for being patient with me and for reading this far. Shout out to Sunfreckle who reminded me that I did still have a story to come back to afte rbeing absolutely devastated by the fanfic I was reading, and as always a huge shout out to bleedingrose0688, whose Boondock Saints story "Her Defenses" needs to be checked out by all of you and right now. If you like what you're reading and want me to keep going, please and thank you to let me know.