It had taken four days and assistance from the Champion of Kirkwall, who was, as it turns out Amalya's own cousin, to run Anders to ground. The meeting had gone exactly as poorly as she had expected it would.
She had been asked to meet with Hawke and two of her companions, Aveline Vallen, Captain of the Guard and a very attractive elf named Fenris. They were to meet at the Hanged Man and then she would be led to Anders. Amalya could not believe how nervous she was. She had no fear of Anders or Justice. Not being able to believe even knowing what they had become that either would raise a hand against her. No, it was the position their actions had forced her in to.
They had slaughtered Wardens when they left. There were extenuating circumstances. Rolan had over stepped his boundaries. He had no right to determine who was allowed to stay in the Wardens and who was not. In her absence that was up to Nathaniel Howe who had been absent during the incident.
Still… the damage was done. And it could not all be called self defense.
When the Champion and her companions arrived Amalya could not help but notice they looked more resigned than eager. She could not blame them. Anders had a way of worming his way in to your heart.
The elf she noticed right away was not predisposed to trust her, and looking at the marks on his body she knew why. Someone had carved symbols in to his flesh and filled them with lyrium. Symbols that somehow bound him to the fade. They must have been unimaginably painful. Even now they must cause him pain. And it could only have been a mage who had carved them. From his accent she would guess Tevinter.
Tracing one particularly deep marking up his neck and chin she finally met his eyes which were looking at her with contempt. Amalya could only look back sorrowfully. Quietly she whispered "I'm so sorry that was done to you."
Narrowing his eyes and sneering at her Fenris asked "What could you possibly have to be sorry about? You didn't hold me down and carve these in to me."
Amalya closed her eyes and lowered her head saying nothing.
The guard captain looked at him sternly "That is uncalled for elf."
Amalya shook her head "No, it is alright. I… excuse me, please let me know when you are ready to leave."
"Wait mage… Amalya…" Fenris called out to her.
Turning around, but not quite looking him in the eye "Yes Fenris?" she asked quietly.
"What does someone like you want with someone like Anders? What do you intend to do with him?" the way he said Anders name she was sure he did not care for her fellow Warden.
"I… he harmed one of my friends… my… I suppose you could say someone who was the moral compass of our group, very badly. He… left under very bad circumstances even beyond that. Anders is my responsibility. Whatever he has done, whatever he has become… it is my fault. I did this. I have to make it right no matter what that means." Amalya could feel Oghren move closer to her for support. His presence made her feel better. He was with her when she was still nothing more than a recruit warden floundering in the dark.
Fenris looked at her for a long time. "I will aid you." Was all he finally said.
"Thank you Fenris, I am honored to have you by my side." Even through her uncertainty and pain Amalya managed to smile at the elf. He did not return the smile but she thought his expression softened a little as he watched her.
Hawke looked between the two and finally spoke up "You are something else cousin, I don't think I have ever heard Fenris say a kind thing to a mage in less than a year. It was at least than long before he stopped snarling at Bethany.
The look Fenris gave Hawke was both so annoyed and tender and full of promise that Amalya knew immediately there was something more there than travelling and adventuring companions. Interesting.
Aveline was looking at him with something akin to a motherly smirk.
"What, Aveline?" Fenris asked her finally in exasperation.
"Nothing at all, Fenris, nothing at all." She smiled down in to the hot mug of what ever in the name of the Maker passed for tea in the city.
Finally, all differences aside they set off towards, of all things, a great in the ground. Once this was pulled down a rusty ladder whose strength Amalya was loath to test the weight of Aveline's armor on led us down. The party ended up in an area of the city that looked like human's very own version of a dust town and alienage all rolled up in to one awful stench filled rubble heap of crime and depression. Amalya sighed. It wasn't the first time she had seen a place like this and she knew it would not be the last.
They finally went down one long… street she supposed it would be called topside and there were very serviceable doors at the end. She knew this had to be Anders place because there were bowls of milk sat outside. They were almost enough to make her break down and weep. The others stood by as she stopped and stared at the bowls for a very long time before steeling herself.
Anders was waiting for her. Even though his back was turned she could tell by the tenseness in his shoulders. He had not ran. That said… something. She was not quite sure what.
"Commander." He said quietly.
"You will give me your attention when you speak to me Warden." She spoke crisply, with authority. This was not the woman of the tavern they had all been sharing drinks with. This was the Ferelden Commander of the Grey, Vanquisher of the Blight. None of them were ever quite sure later how he dared defy her.
"I am no longer a Warden." Anders spoke bitterly, he had yet to turn around.
"Your blood says differently. You did not greet me as Amalya, you greeted me as Commander, and you will still face the Calling. Do you not remember the words I spoke to you at your Joining, Anders? The day I asked you to come with me, to bear my burden and you agreed?" Amalya spoke all of this softly, but each word hit Anders like a blow. The others could see him flinch as she carried on.
"Join us brothers and sisters.
Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant.
Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn.
And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten.
And that one day we shall join you."
By the second line he had turned around and joined her in finishing the words that had immediately preceded the most important vow he had ever made in his life.
"Commander…." He said haltingly.
"Our motto Warden." She bit back at him.
"In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice." They both repeated together.
By this time Anders had tears in his eyes. His implacable Commander did not. He knew the only one to have never chained him down, to have given him a chance to be everything he could be stood before him. And he knew why she was angry enough to kill him where he stood. His betrayal of her had nothing to do with dead Wardens. No Wardens were dead the moment they drank from the Chalice, it just took awhile to kick in.
"You say these words to me Anders. You said you understood honor and duty. You claimed my friendship." The three people standing behind her knew something far more than had taken place than Anders defecting from the Wardens.
"Amalya let me explain…" Anders was pleading now.
"Explain? EXPLAIN?! YOU DESTROYED MY FRIEND! YOU TURNED HIM INTO A FUCKING DEMON! HOW CAN YOU EXPLAIN THAT?!" she was shouting now in a rage. Hawke and Aveline were wondering if they were going to have to try and hold her back.
Aveline was worried if she even had the legal right.
Fenris was glad he was finally going to be able to rid the world of this abomination.
Anders drew back. He knew he could not take on his Commander, let alone the elf who was clearly lusting for his blood as well.
Breathing hard trying to gain a grip on herself. "I want to speak to Justice NOW!"
"Justice and I cannot be separated we are one and…" pulling her staff so quickly it was nearly a blur she had it right under Anders chin.
"Then I shall simply kill you and speak to him in the Fade when your body is a rotting corpse." Anders knew by the look in her eyes she was not to be trifled with, but more importantly Justice struggled against his bonds.
Everyone in the room watched as a white light poured from Anders eyes. The form of a warrior was super imposed over Anders.
"Justice…" Amalya breathed.
"I am here my friend." His voice the others noticed was wholly unlike Anders. Deep and commanding.
Holding out her hand the others noticed for the first time Amalya had a lyrium ring. "I wore this for you." She said "I… remember how you like the way it sings."
Both the ghostly figure and Anders smiled, although Anders was clearly vacant from consciousness. "You have been a good friend, Commander."
Finally collapsing forward and grabbing Justice/Anders by the arm Amalya pleaded "Tell me what to do Justice, you were the best of us, our moral compass I… I don't know the right thing here. Do I kill Anders to free you? Will that free you? I failed you my friend. I dragged you to this world and now…"
Clasping her forearms Justice said "You have done no such thing Commander, you have allowed me to bring Justice to your kind."
Frowning at him Amalya asked confused "My kind?"
"Mages, shackled to this world, held in bondage as you once were." His voice was growing darker she noticed. It was not Anders, but it certainly was not the Justice she knew. Justice fell in to the Qunlat the two of them had often practiced together. She had learned so much from Sten, now the Arishok and some from the Vassoth at Vigil's Keep.
"Ataash varin kata" **In the end lies glory.** Justice told her.
"You never wanted glory before Kadan, only justice." Amalya was becoming more and more worried about his state of mind. Of being, Justice should be incapable of thinking like this.
"Ost maraas imekari" **You are a child bleating without meaning.** Had he really just said this to her? What was happening here?
"Ashkost kata Kadan" **You are seeking death my friend!** She had to talk him out of this!
"Anaan esaam shok" **Victory in war** This was not Justice, he was no longer her friend. He was now something different. Anders would die for this, but there were too many innocents in this room.
"Shok ebasit hissra. Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun. Maraas shok." **This war is an illusion. The tide rises, the tide falls, but the sea is changeless. There is nothing to war against.**
Amalya lowered her eyes and when she looked up again it was once again Anders staring back at her.
"I am giving you one chance Anders, and only one. You can surrender peacefully to me. If you do not, I will return here with enough Wardens to destroy every man woman and child in this hell hole. And I will obtain Chantry permission to do so." She could hear the gasps of the two women behind her. The elf remained silent.
"You would truly do that Commander?" Anders looked at her his eyes hardened, but fearful.
"I think we both know the answer to that Anders. Ask the citizens of Amaranthine if you don't believe me. Oh wait… you can't. I burned the city to the ground to come back and save you." Her voice was hard as an Orzammar anvil.
"Wait… Commander… Amalya… please. I have a solution first. I have a ritual. It can separate Justice and myself. Allow him to return to the Fade before you take me in. I can… if Hawke agrees to help me, would you allow this?" Anders looked pleadingly at Hawke.
"If she agrees. And if you remain here, under guard. Yes." Amalya looked to Hawke who readily agreed to help.
"I will agree to any stipulation, I ask only that you allow me to visit the Chantry for services." Not being so heartless as deny anyone the comforts of the Chantry Amalya agreed to this easily enough and the party took their leave.
On their way out, she noticed Fenris looking at her oddly. "Is something amiss?"
"Where did you learn to speak Qunlat so fluently?" he asked
"Oh, that, my travelling companion who helped me defeat the blight was Sten, oh, although I guess he is the Arishok now. He is kadan to me. I helped him locate Asaala his sword." As Amalya spoke Fenris' eyes grew wide.
"You speak these words so casually" he said "not many could lay claim to such exalted friends."
"When I knew him he was not exalted, he was a mean pain in the ass who thought I was callow." She laughed.