Um, hey, anybody who may still be reading this. ;-) So, I haven't been on or updated or a REALLY LONG TIME, sorry about that. Now I'll finish up the fic… but there will be a sequel! Don't worry… ;-) And I promise my writing will be better in the sequel. J
DISCLAIMER: For the last time, don't own X-Men: Evolution, just my OC Emmaline and any poetry + the idea for the fic, everything else belongs to some rich person who owns the company who produce the TV show.
Chapter 16: Letting Go
In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.
-Deepak Chopra
I blink, and the light before me distorts itself, then becomes clear. Rubbing my sore eyelids, I sit up. I am surrounded by walls, creamy white walls, with plush brown carpet covering the floor. There is a window, with the flowery curtains drawn back, and I can see green, green grass. All the colors are so vibrant and fresh, they hurt my eyes. I am laying on a firm bed, covered with a pink quilt. The room is warm and quiet, a rather peaceful place for a body so wracked by sorrows. Then I remember. My name.
Emmaline.
I can remember the fear, the death, the destruction. Then I remember the dreams. So, so many dreams. Beautiful, glorious, sad dreams. Conversations about the past. My heart swells as I remember the Universe. However, I remember what happened at Xavier's, and shame fills my entire being.
The door creaks open, and an old, bald man in a wheelchair enters with a redheaded young woman with a rather pronounced, rotund stomach. I can scarcely recognize the faces whose lives I ruined, but the names are still there: Professor Charles Xavier and Jean Grey. Their faces have aged many a year, and I can see the hidden thoughts behind their eyes. Quickly, I avert my eyes to their foreheads, away from the two pairs of wise, piercing eyes that are so blissfully ignorant of my experiences.
"Emma," Professor Xavier says. I stare at him, unmoving like a mountain. "Emma," he sadly repeats, looking at me with unbearable sorrow. All I see in Jean's eyes is the sickening sight of pity. I'm not angry, though. I can't be angry anymore.
"How long?"
Professor Xavier frowns at me. "What do you mean?"
"How much time has passed since I've… um…" I falter, uncertain about what to call my 'sleep'.
"Oh. Well, I do not believe you have aged in the least." I lift my hands, and, surely enough, they are just as smooth as before.
"That's not what I mean. How much has the world aged?" I demand.
"Five years."
I stare. Then I feel Jean projecting something to me, and dozens of images pour into my mind. I close my eyes and succumb to the memories' call.
When I open my eyes to the present again, I cannot believe how much has happened. The institute was rebuilt here, and I guess that's where I am now. Marriages, birthdays- the world kept on living the joys of Life without me.
"Congratulations," I tell Jean. "Is Scott happy? Boy or girl?"
Jean laughs nervously. "Oh, we're both thrilled. We're going to wait to find out until the baby's born." She smiles at me.
I turn to Professor Xavier. "I'm ready to go. This isn't the place for me. I need to start over. With a clean slate."
Professor Xavier meets my gaze, a mixture of knowing and sadness mingled in his eyes. Jean gapes. "Do you mean- wipe your memory?!"
I nod, slowly. "Just of the Institute. Clean me of those painful memories. Leave the happy ones. If there are any. Leave a vague outline of my childhood. Leave who I am alone, up to when I ran away."
Gravely, the Professor says, "Are you sure? Memories shape who we are."
"I know. But some… drag us down. I want to live. I don't have long, but… I want those years to count."
Jean looks at me with absolute bewilderment, at a loss for words. Professor Xavier, though, says, "There will be no going back, Emmaline. We will miss you. There will always be a place for you here, you know."
I shake my head, knowing I have nothing left here. There is no use trying to piece together what's long gone. Then I lay back down. The last thing I feel is cold fingers, then as though someone is rifling the pages of my mind and folding some so you can't see them anymore. At last, there is a cooling feeling, and-
Peace.
Okay. I swear, there is a sequel. However, the sequel WILL be in the Ultimate Spider-Man universe. I really hope you liked this fic, and that you'll read the sequel. ;-) Farewell for now, fine, dear readers!
-Flying Feather Scribbles