A/N: Here are the ages of the characters introduced in this chapter.
Lana: 21
Mia: 19
Hotti/Hickfield: Unknown
Larry: 15
"I can't believe it, Miles Edgeworth! All these years, I thought that I was genetically perfect, but I'm really just some freak of nature!" Franziska bemoaned as she and Edgeworth made their way down the boardwalk.
"Your father is lactose intolerant, Franziska. It's not the end of the world." The maroon-cladded adolescent calmly responded, earning him a painful lash from his adoptive sister's riding crop.
"That's easy for you to say, Miles Edgeworth! You have the blood of a defense attorney- you're already doomed for a life of mediocrity. But as for me, I'm the descendent of a long line of powerful, perfect prosecutors, allowing me to follow their perfect path to greatness. But now…!" Franziska growled as she bent her riding crop. "Now, I'm half lactose intolerant!"
"You can't be half lactose intolerant, Franziska, you either are or aren't."
"Well, I may not have Papa's curse, but what about my descendants? Papa's 99-percent perfect DNA is in me and I'll run the risk of passing said flaw onto them. The von Karma line is doomed, Miles Edgeworth! DOOMED!" The silver-haired girl wailed at the top her lungs, earning her strange looks from several concerned boardwalk patrons.
"Franziska, please, you're making a scene." Edgeworth whispered, his cheeks becoming slightly red with embarrassment.
"I can't help it, Miles Edgeworth! If Papa lied to us about him being completely perfect, what else is he hiding from us? Do we really have to wait an hour after we eat before swimming? Is there really a man in the ceiling watching us and will kidnap us if we receive grades that are less than perfect? Am I even Papa's real daughter?!"
"Now you're just being ridiculous." Edgeworth huffed with a roll of his eyes. "Think about this logically, Franziska. Do you really think that Mr. von Karma would bother raising you if you weren't his biological child?"
"He's raising you, isn't he? And what's ironic is that Papa likes you, the son of his most despised enemy, more than me, his real daughter!" Franziska angrily retorted with a venomous tone.
Upon hearing his sister's comment, Edgeworth reeled back in shock, unsure as to whether or not his ears had betrayed him.
"What house are you living in?! Mr. von Karma acts like I'm some robot of sorts, making me study a wide range of subjects- History, Latin, Accounting - with nary a break. And on the off chance I manage get some miniscule morsel of free time, your father makes me spend it playing sports like golf and cricket. Cricket, Franziska! I've been playing that blasted sport for three years now and all I know is that it's the convoluted English lovechild of baseball and bowling!"
Edgeworth angrily groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I swear, between that and him hiring Professor Glaise as my English and Business Etiquette tutor, it feels like Mr. von Karma is trying to turn me into a Brit, not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. The English are a sophisticated people with a rich culture and history, but I'm an American who's living in Germany, I have enough cultural confusion as it is!"
"Quit your foolish complaining, Miles Edgeworth! Ms. Angela is a wonderful woman!" Franziska scolded with a lash of her riding crop. "You should feel thankful that Papa cares and thinks highly enough of you to push you so hard! Meanwhile, I get half of your workload and Papa criticizing me about how I'm not on par with you! Maybe if he'd work me as hard as you, he'd actually care about my accomplishments for once!"
"Franziska, your father cares about your accomplishments just as much as mine. It's just-"
"Excuse me, children, but I couldn't help but notice that you both seem to be a bit on edge…" An overweight, middle-aged man with a bald spot, a pony tail, and a five o'clock shadow, wearing a stained, white undershirt, neon-green sweat pants, and blue flip-flops, said as he abruptly stepped in front of the duo. "Name's Tyler Stirr, the proud proprietor of one of the finest games to ever grace this here boardwalk. Wanna hear more?" The shady man asked in an enticing tone a he leaned a shoulder towards the aspiring prosecutors.
"Thanks, but no thanks, Mr. Stirr." Edgeworth calmly responded with crossed arms. "Now if you'll excuse us…"
The legal duo tried to walk around Ty, but no matter what they tried, the persistent game operator moved so that he squarely blocked their path.
"Please move out of our way, sir." The maroon-cladded adolescent groaned.
"Hey, hey, what's the rush, buddy? I'm just tryin' to be your friend, is all- give you a good time at Ty's Terrific Throw Fest."
"'Ty's Terrific Throw Fest'…?" Edgeworth said with a tone of obvious suspicion.
"Yeah, I give you a baseball and you throw it at a stack of bottles. Knock 'em all down and you win a prize. Pique your interest?" Ty asked with a grin.
"I don't know who you're trying to fool, Mr. Stirr, but you'd have to wake up pretty early in the morning to pull that trick on either me or my sister." Edgeworth sternly said, his grey eyes narrowing into a cold glare.
"I don't know that you're talking about, kid. I would never try to deceive anyone." Ty said in the most innocent-sounding tone he could muster, which ironically enough made him come off as even seedier."
"Oh please! A grungy man on the boardwalk trying to persuade two young, seemingly innocent youth's into playing an obviously-rigged game… You're nothing but a filthy carney!" Edgeworth yelled, his arm jutted out with an accusing finger pointed at the shady booth operator.
"CARNEY…!" Ty roared, his face becoming quite red. "I ain't no carney, pinky, and I ain't rippin' nobody off! I'm just tryin' to make an honest buck by givin' folks the chance to have some fun!"
"Pinky!?" Edgeworth flinched, his eyes bugging out. "For your information, this suit is maroon, a shade of red with only the smallest hint of pink! Though I wouldn't expect some ignorant gutter trash to understand the backward number on a 'Toys 4 You' sign!', let alone the nuance in shades of color!"
"Look, ya overgrown bottle of fruit punch, if you don't play a few rounds at my booth, things are going to get…" Ty cracked his knuckles as a sneer spread across his face. "problematic."
"I don't care if you rip open a portal to Hell and throw me in! Only a stubborn moron would play a carney's game!"
"Your choice, ruffles…!" The shady man growled as he grabbed Edgeworth by the collar of his jacket.
"Hey! Let go of my little brother, you foolish brute!" Franziska snarled as she bent her riding crop.
"And what'll you do if I don't, squirt? Cry about it to your daddy?" Ty sneered.
"No, THIS!" Franziska yelled as she hit Ty in the crotch with her ridding crop, causing the aggressive carney to let go of Edgeworth's jacket as he fell to the ground gasping for air.
"Thanks, Franziska." The adolescent commented as he straightened his collar.
"Don't think I did that because I like you or anything, Miles Edgeworth." The young girl said with a finger waggle. "I only helped you because no one bullies you but me."
As Edgeworth and Franziska walked away from the downed scam artist, the former looked back at the shady man and gave him a smirk.
"Thanks again for the offer, Mr. Stirr."
"So, what are we going to do, Miles Edgeworth?" Franziska asked as she and her adopted brother continued their walk.
"I don't know." Edgeworth responded with a shrug of his shoulders. "Do you have any suggestions?"
"What do you mean 'you don't know'!?" Franziska snapped, lashing Edgeworth's forearm with her infamous riding crop. "As a member of the von Karma family, it is your responsibility- nay, CIVIC DUTY- to be absolutely certain of your actions at all times!"
"I am certain of my actions, Franziska. Like I told Mr. von Karma and Detective Gant, I plan to walk around the boardwalk at my own leisure and that's exactly what I'm doing. So unless you have any specific ideas, that is how we're going to be spending our evening."
"This is unacceptable, Miles Edgeworth! How can you live with yourself?!"
"By taking in the sights and trying to block out your incessant screaming- a task that is getting harder with each passing second." Edgeworth sneered. "Perhaps if you learned to relax for even a solitary second, you could enjoy our little walk."
"I can't do that, Miles Edgeworth! Such foolishness is not in my nature! I need something to do, and I need it NOW!" Franziska pouted as she stomped her feet and clenched her fists, briefly moving away from the refined mannerisms that she was taught since birth and towards those more commonplace in nine year-olds.
"Like I said before, Franziska, if you want to do a specific activity, then you have to suggest it."
"No, Miles Edgeworth, that responsibility falls squarely on your foolish shoulders." The young girl said with a finger waggle. "You foolishly got yourself into this foolish predicament, so it's only reasonable that you get yourself out."
Knowing that he'd be far more successful at teaching a brick wall how to walk than winning an argument with his younger sister, especially when she was wielding that godforsaken ridding crop, Edgeworth decided to submit to Franziska's wishes and started suggesting potential activities.
"Alright, fine… There are a multitude of game rooms on this boardwalk that are actually ground-level. So how about we go to a few of them and play some games?"
"And what types of games are found in game rooms, Little Brother? Chess? Scrabble? Yelling at defense attorneys?"
"Unfortunately, Franziska, those games don't really appeal to those outside of our household. Instead, they have other games like skee ball, where you try to try to roll a ball down a lane and into holes for points, and videogames."
"Videogames?" Franziska parroted, cocking her head in confusion. "What are those?"
"Oh right, you don't know about videogames…" Edgeworth stated, earning himself a lash from the young girl's riding crop.
"There is nothing that I don't know, Miles Edgeworth, just people who foolishly don't know how to explain things!"
A.k.a. you don't know. "How to explain this…" The adolescent pondered, his eyes closed and fingers tapping against his crossed forearms. "You know how computers work, right- how they have a wide variety of programs?"
"What kind of fool do you take me for, Miles Edgeworth! Of course I know how computers work!" Franziska snarled as she lashed her 'little' brother once again with her trusty weapon.
"Ok, I admit that I left myself wide-open for that one… Regardless, a videogame is essentially a program that allows the user to interact with the environment of a virtual world. Take for example one of the most famed videogame series around: "Super Mario Bros.". The player takes control of the hero, a plumber appropriately named Mario Mario-"
"What foolishly lazy name!" Franziska scoffed.
"Yes, now the purpose of the game is quite simple: run through a series of levels, having Mario jump on any enemies that get in his way while leaping over bottomless gaps in the ground-"
"Hold it, Miles Edgeworth! Mario Mario is a plumber who kills his enemies… by jumping on them?"
"Yes."
"But as a plumber, wouldn't it be far easier to just use his tools to defend himself, like bludgeoning his foes with a wrench?"
"That would make sense, but Mario doesn't carry any tools with him."
"Then how does he do his job correctly if he doesn't have the proper tools on his person? That's like if Papa foolishly entered the courtroom without an autopsy report!"
"Well, Mario's main job is saving Princess Peach, so he doesn't really focus on plumbing."
"Then why is he foolishly referred to as a plumber if he doesn't do any plumbing!?" Franziska huffed, her face forming into an irritated scowl.
"Look, that's the backstory that Mario was given and is in no way pivotal in understanding the series as a whole."
"Well, it's a foolish backstory that is as foolish as Mario Mario's name! And what of his brother? The name of the series implies that Mario Mario has at least one other brother. But then again, judging by that foolish series' foolish logic, I wouldn't be surprised if Mario Mario is an only child or has a bunch of sisters."
"No, Franziska, Mario has a younger brother by the name of Luigi Mario, a tall, timid man who has the courtesy not to derail his sibling's explanation by questioning things that he has no control over." Edgeworth wryly retorted.
"Okay, Miles Edgeworth, continue on with your explanation. I'm listening."
"In short, Mario beats levels, enters a large, intimidating castle, defeats a dragon/turtle thing, and saves Princess Peach. The end." The maroon-cladded adolescent curtly explained.
"And then what happens?"
"Nothing. The game ends and you move on with your life."
"But don't you get anything for all your efforts?"
"It's more about the fun had during the experience than the actual final objective."
"What kind of foolish fools foolishly waste their time with a foolish activity that achieves absolutely nothing in long run?!" Franziska yelled, bending her riding crop in frustration.
"I don't know, Franziska, I really don't! Why do think I don't play video games on a regular basis?" Edgeworth answered with clear exasperation in his voice. "So I guess that all arcades are off the table…"
"Obviously." Franziska stated with crossed arms.
The maroon-cladded adolescent scanned the area, searching for any sort of option to placate his adoptive sister, when he saw a large Ferris wheel in the distance.
"Well, judging by that Ferris wheel-"
"No." Franziska curtly responded without a moment of hesitation.
"You don't even know what I was about to ask you? For all you know, you just turned down an offer to ridicule this boardwalk's legal team for their loophole-filled policies regarding Ferris wheel injuries."
"Don't play me for the fool, Miles Edgeworth!" Franziska growled. "We both know that you were foolishly about to suggest that we go to an amusement park, something that I'll do when defense attorneys become competent!"
"And may I ask, just why on earth do you have such a vehement hatred of amusement parks?"
"A fool like you couldn't hope to understand." Franziska huffed with crossed arms.
"Well, we won't know that for sure unless you tell me." Edgeworth said as he opened his arms to appear friendlier, a warm smile spreading across his face. "Come now, no need to be shy around your 'little' brother. It'll remain between just you and me."
"Promise you won't laugh?" Franziska asked, a look of nervous unease filling her grey eyes.
Edgeworth nodded. "Yes, I promise that I won't mock you. So, what is it?"
"I'm afraid of mimes." Franziska whispered in a tone too faint for her brother to hear.
"What was that, Franziska? Please speak up."
"I'm afraid of mimes." Franziska said at a slightly louder volume, but was still too quiet to be properly heard.
"Seriously, Franziska, how am I supposed to know what's bothering you if you refuse to tell-"
"I'm afraid of mimes! There! Now you know! Happy, Miles Edgeworth?!" Franziska screeched, her face become visibly red from a combination of anger and embarrassment.
For a brief moment, silence filled the air as the two siblings stared at each other, the younger with a look of fury and the older with a stoic expression that was morphing into the faintest of grins as he tried his best to fight back a snigger. Though despite Edgeworth's best efforts, Franziska noticed his amusement and chose to award the fool with pain delivered from the business end of her riding crop.
"You promised you wouldn't laugh, you foolish son of a defense attorney!" Franziska roared.
"I'm sorry, Franziska…" Edgeworth giggled with a hand over his face in a futile attempt to hide his laughter. "It's just… How could possibly be afraid of mimes?"
"Says the fool who's terrified of elevators!" Franziska angrily retorted.
"Don't get me wrong, I'm not laughing because you're afraid, but because it's over something so ridiculous. Given how my father died on an elevator, my fear is perfectly justified. However, what reason could you possibly have to fear mute street performers?"
"It's just that they're unsettling, what with their excessive makeup, weird arm movements, and how they foolishly get in your personal space. Just thinking about it is enough to make me want to… ugh!" Franziska whimpered as she crossed her arms and shuddered. "And since mimes are commonplace in amusement parks and other places with plenty of children to traumatize, I don't want to go to the one here."
"Franziska…" Edgeworth calmly said, putting a firm hand on his sister's shoulder. "I highly doubt that there are mimes at a Los Angeles boardwalk amusement park."
"But what if you're wrong, Miles Edgeworth? What if the mimes are merely in hiding, waiting for me to drop my guard before knocking me out and taking me back to their nest where they'll suck out my soul!"
"You act like mimes are the spawns of Satan. They're just regular people like you or me. Granted, they prefer a rather abstract performing style, but that's no reason to fear them."
"Regardless, I'm not taking the risk by going to some foolish amusement park."
"Fine…" Edgeworth said with an exasperated sigh. "In that case, I have no other suggestions. Unless…"
"Unless what?"
"Unless you tell me what you're in the mood to do so I have a bit more information to work with."
Franziska cocked her head to the side as she contemplated what she wanted to do. "Hmm… Well, I want to do something active, where I'm moving around and feel as if I'm actually getting stuff done…"
"Uh-huh…" Edgeworth said as he eyed his surroundings.
"And I desire to interact with people my own age to show them how I am superior to them in every way."
"Perfectly understandable…"
"And I'd like a fortress of sorts to firmly establish my authority over the foolish commoners."
After briefly scanning the area, a sinister grin spread across Edgeworth's face as he found a place that not only satisfied all of his sister's requests, but did so in a fashion that would make her so amusingly outraged that it'd be too good to pass up. Sure, he would probably get whipped to no end with that riding crop of hers, but it would be so worth it to see the look on Franziska's face.
"I know the perfect place."
"You do? Where?"
"Just follow me." Edgeworth said as he started to slowly walk away, but soon stopped upon noticing that Franziska wasn't following him. "Coming?"
"How do I know that this place will meet my perfect standards?"
"Oh, don't worry, 'Big' Sister, I have a feeling that this place will be very much to your liking."
"You lied, Miles Edgeworth! I hate this place!" Franziska screamed as she lashed her brother with her riding crop.
"What are you talking about, Franziska? It perfectly fulfils all of the specifications you gave me."
"Are you blind, Miles Edgeworth!? Does this look like the kind of place that I'd want to go to?!" Franziska yelled, gesturing to the area around her.
The 'area' being a playground on the beach close to the boardwalk consisting of a few small climbing walls, a tire swing, and a large, wooden pirate ship big enough to easily serve as a fort with a slide attached to the front.
"Well, let's go over your list of demands, shall we? First, you said that you wanted to move around and be active. So, given the fact that we're currently at a playground, a locale with the word 'play' in the name, the root of which comes from the Old English words 'plegian' and 'plega' which mean 'to exercise' and 'brisk movement', respectively, we can safely say that this area fulfils not only the first item, but also the second, given the demographic that frequents settings such as this. And as for the third and final requirement, cast your gaze upon that pirate ship." Edgeworth said as he gestured to the boat. "A fine fortress indeed, wouldn't you say?"
"What kind of respectable person in their right mind would use a pirate ship as a base of operation?"
"Pirates, Franziska, pirates…"
"Oh, please! No pirate has ever made any impact on society. I bet you can't even name one famous buccaneer."
A smirk spread across Edgeworth's face as he tapped the side of his head. "Black Beard, Long John Silver, Jack Sparrow…"
"You made your point, you arrogant fool! Regardless, I refuse to spend even a second more at this foolishly foolish playground filled with foolish children who engage in foolish tomfoolery!" Franziska yelled, her face growing red as she bent her riding crop as she started to walk away from the area.
However, the silver-haired girl was quickly stopped by Edgeworth grabbing her shoulder.
"Get your foolish hand off me, Miles Edgeworth!" Franziska snapped as she struggled in vain to free herself from her adopted brother's firm, iron-clad grip.
"No."
"What!" Franziska hissed. "Did you just refuse me?"
"Yes, Franziska, I did. And do you know why?"
"Because you're a fool."
"No." Edgeworth said with a shake of his head. "I don't ask for much, Franziska. All I wanted to do was engage in a nice, leisurely stroll down the boardwalk and take in the sites, something you didn't want any part of. So, being the reasonable man that I am, I made two suggestions- arcades and the amusement park- which you so hostilely rejected. Thus, when you gave me the outlines for your desired activities, I analyzed them and chose an area that fulfils all of them. Therefore, this is how we are spending our evenings until it is time to reunite with Mr. von Karma and Detective Gant: you playing while I sit on a nearby bench and catch up on my reading."
"But-but-but…" Franziska stuttered, trying her best to think of a perfect retort or some sharp-witted insult, but nothing that entered her mind could possibly combat her brother's airtight reasoning.
"No 'buts', Franziska. You reap what you sew. Now get in there and have some fun as you contemplate on how to better yourself as a person!" Edgeworth ordered as he pointed to the playground. "Oh, and don't think of trying to run away. Because if you do, I will not hesitate to see to it that you are properly punished."
"Oh, like you have any power over me?" Franziska sneered, waggling a condescending finger at her brother.
"No, but your father does, and as you know, he is not one to give mercy to naughty little girls such as yourself."
"You always do this to me, Miles Edgeworth! You treat me like I'm a child!" Franziska pouted with a stomp of her foot.
"Have you looked in the mirror lately?" The maroon-cladded adolescent smirked.
"Ugh! I don't have to take this! If you need me, I'm going to be in my pirate ship!" Franziska snarled as she angrily stomped into the vessel, the sound of her riding crop filling the air as several crying children rushed out screaming in terror.
About 10 or so minutes later, Edgeworth was starting to make some real progress in his studies, his face buried in his book as he became one with the legal information. However, that came to an abrupt end when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.
Thinking that it was Franziska trying to object to the playground again, Edgeworth growled as he threw down his legal book on his lap and shot the person who dared to interrupt him an intense glare.
"Franziska, for the last time, I…"
Edgeworth's eyes widened as he noticed that the offender was not his younger sister, but rather an older woman, probably in her early 20's if her appearance was of any indication, with long, straight, light-brown hair reaching the mid-back of her Ivy University t-shirt. And even though he was sitting down, he could tell that she was about the same height as him, but she managed to be imposing in her own right with the sharp look in her teal eyes- the kind of look that said 'I will not take any crap from anyone' without the person even having to utter a single word. Edgeworth was all too familiar with that kind of look. However, what made this woman stand out was the warm smile she wore on her face, directly conflicting with the cold sharpness in her eyes, like a roaring flame placed next to a block of ice.
And while the adolescent aspiring prosecutor was confused by the look that this woman was giving him, he couldn't help but be mesmerized and drawn into it. Edgeworth didn't know whether it was the simple beauty of the woman herself, or merely due to the fact that the only girl he was ever allowed to be close to up until this point was Franziska, but he started to feel feelings that he had never felt before- feelings that made his cheeks turn red and for his normally-logical mind to be drawing blanks.
"Uh… H-Hi… Miles Edgeworth, my name is hello- er, I-I mean, hello, my name is Miles Edgeworth…" Gah, what is wrong with me? It's not like me to get tongue-tied like this! Why am I getting so nervous? Why is my heart beating so fast? And is it feeling so hot all of a sudden?
"Sorry to interrupt you, Miles, but do you mind doing me a favor?" The woman said as she nervously scratched the back of her neck, her smile turning into an anxious frown.
"What… What kind of favor?" Edgeworth nervously asked.
"I have final exams in a few days, so I scheduled to meet with a friend of mine here since we both decided to use today as a beach day. However, I have a little sister that I know would be bored out of her mind if I had her come with me and would prefer playing here. So I was wondering if you'd be willing to watch my her for about 30 minutes, give or take a few, while I study?" The woman asked with a desperate, pleading look on her face.
Think about this reasonably, Miles. You can barely handle one child, let alone two. Just politely tell her no and save yourself the pain. "I'd be more than happy to." Edgeworth said with a confident grin. What am I doing!? This goes against all the facets of logic and reason that I hold near and dear to my heart. But yet, I feel really… happy. What's happening to me?!
The woman put her hand to her heart, letting out a sigh of relief as her warm smile returned.
"Thank you! You're such a lifesaver, Miles! My little sister's the girl in the lab coat over there." The woman said, pointing at the area near the foot of the slide where Ema- who was wearing a lab coat one size too big and large pink glasses- was entranced in her own world, grinning ear to ear as she carefully scooped some sand into a test tube. "Knowing her, she probably won't move from that spot or cause anyone trouble, but I just want to make sure she's safe. And if she asks where I am, just tell here that Lana's out studying and will be back as soon as she can."
"Y-Your name is Lana…? A lovely name it is… Nice to meet you." Edgeworth stammered, trying his best to keep a firm grip on his remaining rationality.
Lana giggled upon seeing the young man's awkwardness. "Aw, how sweet! It's nice meet you too, Miles. Thanks again for doing this. I'll be back as soon as I can." Lana said, rushing away from the area as Edgeworth stared longingly at her.
"And I'll be counting the seconds…" Edgeworth amorously whispered under his breath. Wait, what am I saying? I don't care when people come back. In fact, I hate people. I don't know what's going on, but perhaps I should seek medical attention when I get back home. But for the time being, I think that it would be in my best interest to get back to my reading, occasionally stopping to check on Lana's sister.
Meanwhile, a little distance away, Aura was sitting on a bench, growling and gritting her teeth as she mustered all of her willpower to keep herself from strangling her annoying little brother, who had been going on and on about his anime/weeaboo crap for the past hour.
Aura began to impatiently tap her foot, her scowling eyes searching the boardwalk for Maya's sister. Where is that girl's sister!? She said that she'd be here at 7:30, but yet here it is 7:45 and she's nowhere to be found. She's probably one of those big-city, small-town girls- the type of stupid bimbo that they base t.v. romantic comedies off of. Probably some dyed-blonde bimbo with a chest fuller than her head who can't tell the difference between up and down like the ones in school- the ones who make fun of me just because I like to work with tools and occasionally wear flannel shirts. But unlike with those sluts who I don't mess with, instead letting their STDs do my dirty work, this bimbo's getting no mercy. I swear, the second I see this bitch, she's going to wish-
"Mia!" Maya squealed at the top of her lungs, prompting Aura to shoot a venomous glare in the direction that the little aspiring spirit medium was looking, causing her face to redden for a reason other than anger.
Aura could not believe her eyes. Simon's fetish friend's sister, this 'Mia', was drop-dead gorgeous. From her long, flowing hair to shapely frame, Mia made Aura feel extreme lust and affection regarding those of the same gender that she had only merely pondered beforehand. But what was perhaps the piece de resistance of Mia to the scientific purple-head was her rather… ample bosom.
Sure, it wasn't like Aura was lacking in the torso department, a fact that countless annoying, slack-jawed boys in her school would remind her of on a regular basis, but compared to Mia, she might as well have been as flat as a wall. Aura didn't want to think like this. She thought of herself as being the type to see beyond such shallow, fickle aspects like physical appearance, but she just couldn't help herself. This Mia woman was practically exposing her massive bazoombas underneath that tight, black, sleeveless top of hers for the world to see.
At this moment, Aura wanted nothing more than to ask this Mia woman out on a date, to not only get a better idea of her own identity, but also as compensation for putting her through the hell that was her brat of a little brother's endless weeaboo cringe-talk. If Aura was to endure that kind of torture without ripping off Simon's unbathed head, she deserved some form of reward, and she was determined to get said reward from Mia. However, before that could happen, the purple-haired girl would have to first talk to this well-endowed beauty… a task easier said than done, if her tomatoe-red face and fidgety hands were of any indication.
"Hi, I'm Mia, Maya's older sister- we talked over the phone." Mia said as she extended her hand out for a handshake.
"H-Hi…" Aura shakily responded, placing a limp, clammy hand in Mia's and shaking, making the slightly-older girl feel as if she was shaking hands with a sick dolphin.
"Thanks again for letting Maya hang out with your brother. Our village is rather small and remote, so there really aren't that many activities for her to do outside of her training. Was she any trouble for you?"
"N-No. Not at all! She was a pleasure!" Aura nervously stated, her eyes bugging out as a few drops of cold sweat began to form on her face.
"Are you sure?" Mia asked, cocking her head in uncertainty. "Because you sound tense and I know first-hand that Maya's eating habits can be a pain to deal with, especially in regards to burgers."
"Mia calls me the 'Burger Shark'! Nom! Nom! Nom!" Maya boasted, biting the air like a shark would a baby seal.
"No, it's not… not that. You see, I… Well, I… I have… diarrhea!" Aura spouted out, slapping her forehead upon realizing her stupidity as Mia flashed her a strange look. Diarrhea? DIARRHEA!? This kind of crap is why you're single, Aura…! That, and Weebicus telling all of your friends that he wants to be the next Hokage!
"... Well, I hope you feel better. Thanks again for showing Maya a good time." Mia said with a tone of unease as she and Maya walked away from the Blackquill siblings.
"Yeah, tonight was real fun! We should do it again, Simon!" Maya chimed in, frantically waving to her new friend.
"Hai" Simon said with a bow. "And I will be desu, desu excited for it, my kawaii loli."
After the Fey sisters left the area, Aura just stood there, staring intensely in the direction that Mia went as if that would prompt the busty girl to come back. Though she was almost immediately interrupted by Simon tugging at the sleeve of her hoodie, prompting the purple-haired girl to glare down at her younger brother.
"So what are we going to do now, onee-san? Go to the comic book store we just passed by and browse for desu shounen magna? See if there are any places with desu rakugo? Or perhaps we should-"
"Follow Maya and her sister to wherever they're going." Aura stated in a no-nonsense tone.
"Sumimasen? Why would we want to do that?" Simon asked, cocking his head in confusion.
Just my luck, being a creepy stalker, the only good trait that weebs possess, is the one that my stupid brother lacks. "Well, Simon, do you like Maya?"
"Hai, she is a desu kawaii loli."
"And do you want her to be safe?"
"Does 5Brats ruin all that they touch?" Simon paused for a few seconds, but upon seeing Aura giving him a confused look, answered his own question. "That's also a 'hai'."
"Well, what would Naruto do if his pink-haired girlfriend Squeegee went off into unknown lands?"
"Ugh!" Simon groaned, rolling his eyes at his anime-ignorant sister. "It's Sakura, Aura-chan, Naruto's friend is named Sakura! And she's not even his girlfriend! Everyone knows that Naruto and Hinata is OTP!"
"Whatever. Would Naruto and his samurai friends just sit around and do nothing?"
"No, they'd use their abilities as ninjas to follow her from the shadows."
"Exactly. And that's exactly what we're going to do."
"Hai, but first…" Simon closed his eyes and began making a series of strange hand gestures.
"What in Asimov's name are you doing?"
"Channeling my chakra to utilize the Transformation Jutsu, that way I can follow them with arousing any suspicion."
"I don't have time for this…!" Aura huffed, grabbing Simon's arm after a few seconds of seeing that only thing being accomplished was him looking even more ridiculous than normal and rushed in the direction that she saw the Fey sisters heading in.
"Not desu kawaii, onee-san!" Simon objected.
After a few minutes of following Maya and Mia, a task consisting of Aura and Simon sneaking through crowds while the former had to also deal with keeping Simon from attempting to perform more jutsus, Aura saw Mia at a playground area talking to a young, stern-faced man dressed like a character from her weeb brother's cartoons.
"… So would it be alright if you watch Maya for a bit while I go to my study session? I'll pay you $20 for your services." Mia said as she pulled a $20 bill out of her ample bosom.
"I may be wealthy, but what's the harm in making some extra money on the side?" Though I'm washing that bill off before putting it in my wallet.
Mia knelt down so that she was at eye-level with Maya. "Ok Maya, I'm going to my study session. I'll be back as soon as I can, but until then, this nice man will be watching over you, so please be on your best behavior for him. Can I trust you to do this?"
"You bet, Mia!" Maya chirped with an enthusiastic nod.
"And…?" The older sister said with a stern, yet caring look?
"And I won't pester him into spending all his money on burgers for me." Maya groaned.
"Good." Mia said with a grin. "See you both later!"
"Don't worry, Mia! I won't be any trouble for the pink vampire-man!" Maya jovially stated as she enthusiastically waved to her departing sister.
Edgeworth winced. "Young lady, I'll have you know that I am neither pink nor a vampire."
"Whatever! I'm gonna go play!" Maya stated before running over to one of the climbing walls.
She left her sister at that playground? Hmm… Perhaps it would be in my best interest to follow suit and ditch Weeb there. Aura thought to herself as she hurried Simon over to Edgeworth.
"What-" Edgeworth tried to ask before being interrupted by the purple-haired girl.
"Watch my weeb brother!" Aura hastily said, leaving her anime-loving brother with the now-confused aspiring prosecutor as she rushed away from the area after Mia.
"What just happened!? Is there a sign on this bench that reads 'drop off your younger siblings here'!?" Edgeworth yelled, his eyes bugging out at the thought of now having to watch over not one, not two, not three, but FOUR children under the age of ten.
"… So, Dracula-san, what animes do you watch?"
"Please don't talk to me unless you're on the verge of dying." Edgeworth curtly said as he returned to his book.
"But I am desu dying, Dracula-san…" Simon said as he lowered Edgeworth's book, revealing the adolescent's glaring face. "Dying to know what animes you watch."
"*Sigh…* If you must know, back in my childhood, I was quite the Signal Samurai fan."
"Signal Samurai…?" Simon repeated in a venomous tone, a death glare forming on his face. "That's no anime, that's a desu filthy cartoon!"
"Cartoons and anime are the same thing." Edgeworth nonchalantly stated as he returned to his book, only for the weeaboo boy to rip it out of his hands and throw it back towards the boardwalk.
"Hey!" Edgeworth snapped. "What's your problem?!"
"Baka! Anime and cartoons are as different as night and day, apples and oranges, rice balls and doughnuts…! Animes are exquisitely-animated Japanese works of art that tell the stories of characters as they grow as people in worlds different from our own with a touch of humor here and there; whereas cartoons are merely cheap non-Japanese pictures of characters living their lives in a fantasy world, often sidelining the story with humor."
"So essentially, the same thing with the only difference being the country of origin."
"Baka! They are not!" Simon angrily whined.
"Oh, really? Then name one distinguishing difference between the two."
"Ha!" Simon smirked. "That's desu easy! Anime-"
"That doesn't involve the countries of origin." Edgeworth chimed in.
"Well… Umm… See… Animes have… Cartoons air…" Simon body began to fidget, his hands twitching and face gradually growing redder as he tried in vain to think of a real difference between the two mediums. "I don't need this, Dracula-bo! If you need me, I'm going to cosplay as Monkey D. Luffy in that pirate ship!" Simon pouted as he stormed towards the ship.
"Um, young man, I wouldn't go in there if I were you. You see-"
"Go watch your crummy cartoons in your coffin, baka vampire!" Simon yelled, not even turning to look his babysitter in the face.
Fine, don't heed my warning. It's your funeral… Edgeworth thought to himself with a smirk.
Meanwhile, the Gavin brothers were having their own time at the boardwalk, Klavier, wearing a Thor t-shirt, running ahead, filled with excitement and youthful energy, while Kristoph, who was looking rather pale in his periwinkle suit, lumbered behind, holding his stomach with one hand and his head with the other.
"C'mon, bro! Quit walking like an old lady!" Klavier complained, completely ignorant to his brother's condition.
"Don't… Don't talk to me, Klavier! You made me go on that horrid, nauseating ride of pain and misery!" Kristoph snarled at the small child.
"Hey, don't blame me! How was I supposed to know that the operator would leave his station while the ride was still running?"
"You're right…! It was Wright…" Kristoph angrily panted. "Wright did this to me… dirty pudding thief…! I swear… one of these days, I'll make him pay… pay in spades…!"
"This again?" Klavier sighed. "Bro, you got to let that pudding cup incident go. That was seven years ago- I wasn't even born yet!"
"Let it go? Never! I-" The well-dressed adolescent cut himself off as he slapped a hand over his mouth and ran to the closet trashcan he could find before expelling his lunch into the waste basket.
Soon after, Kristoph and Klavier resumed their stroll, the former making a full recovery after purging his ill stomach.
"Ok, I'm feeling much better now, Klavier. Anything else you want to do before we have to regroup with Mother and Father?"
"No." The young child pouted with crossed arms and a scowl on his face.
"Klavier, this isn't like you at all." Kristoph said in a concerned tone. "Normally, there's nothing you wouldn't want to do when it's just us, but tonight you've been so distant- even after I took you to the amusement park and went on that godforsaken ride. Is something bothering you?"
"I don't wanna say!"
"Klavier…" Kristoph got down on his knees so he could be eye-to-eye with his baby brother. "I'm your brother, there should be no secrets between us. Granted, I may not be able to help, but I can sure as heck try."
"Well, when we were on the beach…"
"Ah, I get it: you're upset at that pink-cladded brute for thrashing me. Well, don't you worry, Klavier. He shan't be triumphant for long. For you see, as he grows arrogant and complacent, I shall wait in the shadows, watching his every move as I bide my time for the perfect chance to strike. So as you can see, I may have lost the battle, but in due time I shall win the war." Kristoph smirked.
"No, that's not it." Klavier sullenly responded.
Brotherly love at its finest… Kristoph thought to himself with a roll of his eyes. "Then what is bothering you?"
"Those two girls… they… they rejected me!"
"Yes, Klavier, I'm very much aware of that fact- especially when you ran back to the umbrella crying and jumped on me."
"That's never happened to me before, Khris! In my kindergarten class, all the girls can't get enough of me. But those two on the beach acted like I was nothing but a pain! Am I losing my touch, bro? Did I peak?"
"Klavier, Klavier, Klavier…" Kristoph chuckled with a shake of his head. "Not every girl on the planet is going to fall head over heels for you. Rejection is a part of life, like the desire to gain knowledge and power, and feelings of vengeance that make you want to crush your enemies into dust beneath your boot."
"What do you know about girls?"
"And just what is that supposed to mean?"
"No offense, bro, but it's not like the girls are knocking down your door." Klavier sneered.
"I'll have you know, if I wasn't so dedicated to my studies, I could date any girl I want."
"The why don't we make things interesting…?" Klavier asked as a grin spread across his face. "If you can't get a girl to agree to go out on a date with you before midnight tonight, then you have to help me with my homework and play with me for a month."
"And if I manage to get a date?"
"If you do that, then me and Daryan won't sneak in your room and touch your books for a whole month."
"That was you and your little shark-fetish friend?" Kristoph growled, his left eye beginning to twitch. "I made Mother cry last week because I thought that she was the culprit!"
"Well, that'll teach you not to jump to conclusions. So, do we have a deal?"
"On the condition that if I win, you not only never touch my books again, but also do my chores for a month."
"Seriously…?" Klavier groaned.
"Yes, Klavier. The dishwater ruins my nails." Kristoph calmly stated as he eyed his perfectly-manicured fingernails. "Though that shouldn't be a problem… unless, of course, you're scared that you'll lose." The adolescent sneered.
"I'm not scared!" Klavier proudly proclaimed with his hands on his hips.
"Then do we have a deal?"
"Yeah, but you can't bribe the girl or use the big brother card. If you're so good at attracting girls, then you should do it by yourself."
"*Sigh…* Deal." Kristoph shook Klavier's hand. "Now which girl will have the pleasure of being asked out by me…?" The adolescent asked, pushing his glasses up as he scanned the area.
"Why not her?" Klavier asked as he saw Mia running in their direction.
"Hmm… A bit loose-looking, but attractive by western standards... I'll do it. Oh, Miss…" Kristoph smirked, raising his hand to get the girl's attention.
"Can't talk, have to study!" Mia hastily responded as she dashed passed the two blond-haired boys.
"Real smooth, bro." Klavier sneered.
"Not to worry, Klavier. There are plenty of fish in the sea, like that one over there." Kristoph said, pointing to Aura who was running towards them at full speed.
"Hello Miss, how are you…" The well-dressed adolescent trailed off as the purple-haired girl ran past him without saying a word.
"Ok, that's it!" Kristoph growled. "I can deal with one girl rejecting me at a time, but two in the span of mere seconds is where I draw the line! Come, Klavier, it's time for me to pull out the big guns!"
"Why do I have a bad feeling about this…?" Klavier asked with a tone of unease as he and his brother followed after Mia and Aura.
Back at the playground, Franziska was sitting alone on the ship's deck next to the slide, internally ranting about how much of a fool her 'little' brother was, when suddenly Simon burst on deck, heartily laughing like a pirate.
"What foolishness is this?" Franziska growled, shooting the boy a death glare.
"I'm Monkey D. Luffy, captain of the Straw Hat Pirates, and I claim this here ship for my crew!" Simon bellowed.
"Well, I'm Franziska von Karma and this ship is already mine!" The silver-haired girl snapped.
"Well Franziska, how'd you like to join my crew? The more, the merrier, as I always say!"
"No." Franziska curtly responded, prompting Simon to approach her.
"Is there any way for me to convince you otherwise?"
Franziska lashed at Simon with her riding crop, which he dodged by quickly stepping back.
"Yes, by getting out of my perfect base, you foolish fool!"
"Oh, so it's a fight you want, eh? Well, Monkey D. Luffy never backs down from a fight! Bring it on!"
Seeing Simon's pretending as a taunt, Franziska charged at him and unleashed a barrage of lightning-fast attacks from her infamous weapon which the anime-loving boy dodged with a fluid series of ducks and sidesteps. Though while it seemed that Franziska had the upper hand, Simon took advantage of a brief opening by hitting his opponent with his finger slash attack, and while the attack did no physical damage, it startled the silver-haired girl, causing her to fall backwards down the slide screaming.
"Franziska!" Edgeworth screamed at the top of his lungs as he ran towards his adoptive sister as fast as he could, helping her up when he reached her. "Franziska, are you alright?!"
"I would be if you weren't foolishly holding my hand, Miles Edgeworth! Get off!" Franziska snapped, freeing herself from her 'little' brother's grip with a swift lash of her riding crop.
"Sorry, Franziska. I just wanted to make sure that you're unharmed."
"Once again, Miles Edgeworth, as a von Karma, I'm more than capable of taking care of myself without you holding my hand! Now leave me alone! I'm still angry at you for foolishly making me stay at this foolish playground!" Franziska yelled with crossed arms as she turned her back to the maroon-cladded adolescent.
"*Sigh…* If that's what you want, Franziska…" Edgeworth sullenly replied as he slowly made his way back to his bench.
"Don't you think you're being a bit hard on him? He's just trying to help." Ema said as she got up from her spot on the ground.
"Not you again…!" Franziska groaned upon noticing Ema. "Regardless, what do you know about my foolish little brother? He only did that so he could feel better about himself."
"Little brother?" Ema parroted in a shocked tone as she quickly looked over at Edgeworth. "I don't know about that, because from my point of view, there's nothing little about him. MMM…!" The aspiring scientist said with a longing look in her eyes, prompting Franziska to take a step back.
"Wha-What are you talking about?"
"I'm just saying, if I had a brother that caring and handsome… well, let's just say he would be my brother in my dreams, if you know what I mean…"
"No, I don't know what you mean, you foolish deviant! Miles Edgeworth? Cute? Don't make me laugh! That's an oxymoron if I ever saw one." Franziska sneered. "If you saw my little brother behind closed doors, you'd be singing a different tune. For one thing, he has night terrors and screams really loud."
"Aah…" Ema sighed longingly. "He has such an active imagination…!"
"Not to mention, he takes the last strudel during breakfast without asking if anyone else wants it."
"Oh... He's sooo assertive…!"
"And, perhaps one of the worst things that he does, on a daily basis, Miles Edgeworth foolishly hogs one of our bathrooms for ten to 15 minutes, and when he's finally done, he leaves behind the most putrid smell that has ever been smelled! It's as if there's a foolish green cloud floating around the bathroom that refuses to leave for a good hour!"
"And his bowl movements are regular…? Is there any flaw to your magnificent brother?"
Franziska reared back, her eyes bugging out at how out of it this foolish girl was. "You need professional help!"
"No, what I need is a piece of THAT…!" Ema said, directing an amorous look at Edgeworth.
"On the contrary, you need a prescription of-" Franziska reared back her arm, ready to strike her 'little' brother's fangirl with her riding crop, when she was interrupted by the sound of Maya crying in pain.
Seeing one of his wards on the ground crying with a small scrape on her knee, Edgeworth wasted no time in getting up and rushing over to her, along with Ema, while Franziska went over to the now-unoccupied bench.
"What happened, Maya?" Edgeworth asked as he kneeled down so he was at eye-level with the wounded spirit medium.
"I was… I was climbing on the wall… and having fun… when… when… when… I fell oooooffff!" Maya wailed, rubbing the tears out of her eyes with the backs of her hands.
"Here…" Edgeworth said as he handed the wounded girl a handkerchief, which she heartily blew her nose in. "Now don't you worry, Maya. We'll get that little injury fixed up in no time!"
The aspiring prosecutor reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle of hand sanitizer, squirting a small dollop on his hands and lathering it on the small girl's knee, causing her to hiss in pain.
"I know it hurts, but that's a good thing- it means that it's killing all the bad germs. Now to cover it up…" Edgeworth said as he took a Band-Aid out of his pocket and gently stuck it on Maya's injury. "Better?"
"Uh-huh…" Maya mumbled with a nod of her head.
"Good." The adolescent stated as he helped Maya up on her feet. "Now, in the future, you need to-"
"Get away from my desu kawaii bishoujo!" Simon ordered from inside the pirate ship's entranceway. "I won't let you steal her away, Dracula-bo!"
"Young man, instead of spouting gibberish at me, perhaps it would be in your best interest to keep quiet while I explain-"
"What is there to explain!? First you insult the desu kami-sama world of anime, and now you've gone and harmed my desu kawaii loli! Prepare to face my desu mahou usagi-kuma fighting technique!"
Simon charged at Edgeworth with all the speed he could muster and, before the maroon-cladded adolescent had the chance to react, pounced on him, tackling him to the ground and pinning him down with his knees.
"You're jumping to conclusions! She fell off a climbing wall and I was merely tending to her wounds! Ask anyone here and they'll validate my testimony!" Edgeworth pleaded as he wriggled in a futile attempt to free himself from the greasy, unbathed knees of his anime-obsessed attacker.
"Silence! I will not stand for your desu dirty lies, Dracula-bo!" Simon yelled as he pulled out a small plastic dagger from his kimono. "Now to finish you off once and for all!"
"Yudayajinno oshinko!" Simon roared as he jabbed Edgeworth with his dagger.
"What are you even saying!?" Edgeworth yelled, his eyes becoming as wide as saucers.
"Yudayajinno oshinko!" Simon roared again as he jabbed his victim once again.
"Ow! That really hurts! Please stop!"
"I don't give mercy to those who have desu wronged me!" The young boy snarled as he raised his dagger, preparing for another attack. "Yudayajinno o- Itai! Simon screamed as a stream of sand hit him in the face, prompting him to drop his dagger as he grabbed at his eyes and hastily got back up on his feet.
"Who threw that sand at me!?" The anime-obsessed boy growled.
"I did!"
Removing his hands from his now-bloodshot eyes, Simon flashed a death glare in the direction of the bold confession at Ema, who was glaring back as she held an empty test tube.
"Get away from him, you darn, dirty anthropologist!"
"Why you desu baka girl…! You've made a grave mistake, for I shan't hesitate to use my desu anime fighting techniques to send you to visit Shinigami in Hell!" Simon snarled, his arms outstretched and fingers tense as he struck an 'epic' battle pose.
"Ha! As if your make-believe world could ever hope to compete against the power of Science!" Ema scoffed, prompting Simon to charge at her.
However, unlike most people, who would jump out of the way, Ema stood her ground, waiting for her enemy to get in range before…
"Geology!" Ema yelled, kicking a cloud of sand at Simon, disorienting the young boy and giving her the perfect opportunity to change her position and enact the next part of her strategy.
When the sand settled down, Simon eyes rapidly darted about, scanning the area for his foe who was nowhere to be found until…
"Hey, smelly! Over here!" Ema yelled, prompting the anime-obsessed boy to turn towards her, where he saw the aspiring scientist waving her arms behind the tire swing.
"Watashi koete jagaimooo!" Simon roared as he charged at his opponent, making sure to veer slightly to the left in order to avoid making the same mistake twice.
However, Ema was prepared for just such a move on Simon's part.
"Physics!" Ema yelled, pushing the tire swing slightly to her right as hard as she could, upper-cutting Simon with the tire and causing him to fall on his back.
Seeing her opponent down, Ema wasted no time in rushing over to Simon and pinning him down with her knees before whipping out a container of disinfectant wipes from her lab coat.
"Biology!" Ema yelled as she quickly took two wipes out and began repeatedly lashing Simon with them.
As this was happening, Franziska sat on her bench, rolling her eyes at the conflict.
How foolish can these children get? Fighting like foolish savages… They're the ones Miles Edgeworth should be babysitting, not me! I bet I could leave this foolish playground, walk around this foolish boardwalk, and return without nary an incident, leaving my foolish little brother none the wiser. Though unfortunately, while he's by no means perfect, Miles Edgeworth is very perceptive and would notice almost immediately if I was gone, unless… Franziska noticed that Edgeworth was occupied with the task of getting Ema off of Simon. Perfect… The silver-haired girl smirked before rushing away from the playground.
A few minutes later, Edgeworth finally succeeded in prying Ema off of Simon, holding her by the arms as she thrashed about while the boy remained on the ground trembling.
"Let me go! I'm not done with him!" Ema snarled.
"Not if you're going to keep attacking him!" Edgeworth retorted as he tightened his grip on the bloodthirsty girl.
"I was only attacking him to help you! You should be thanking me!"
"While I do appreciate the motive behind your actions, it does not justify the use of violence."
"But he started it!"
"I don't care because I'm ending it. Now apologize to that boy."
"And what if I don't?"
"Then perhaps Lana would be very interested to know what you've just done." Edgeworth smirked as Ema's eyes widened with fear.
"O-Ok, I'll apologize." Ema said, prompting Edgeworth to let go of her.
Upon being released, the aspiring scientist helped her former opponent back up on his feet.
"I'm sorry for beating you up." Ema sullenly said, her eyes focused on the ground as she gently slid her foot back and forth in the sand.
"You should be, you baka. And you only won because I let you. If I was desu serious, I would have beaten you desu, desu fast." Simon boasted, earning a disapproving look from Edgeworth.
"Don't kid yourself, young man. If it wasn't for me breaking up that very one-sided fight, you'd still be crying on the ground while having your derriere handed to you with a disinfecting wipes."
"No, I wouldn't!" Simon pouted, his cheeks starting to redden.
"Well, how about I tell your sister about this when she returns and get her opinion on the matter?"
Knowing full well that Aura would never let him live down this defeat if she ever found out, Simon swallowed his pride and accepted Ema's apology.
"Hai" Simon said with a bow. "I graciously accept your apology, oh desu strong loli."
"And aren't you forgetting something, young man?" Edgeworth asked with crossed arms.
"*Sigh…* I'm sorry for attacking you, Dracula-bo..."
"Better. And for the record, please refer to me as 'Mr. Edgeworth', not 'Dracula-bo'. We live in the real world, not Yugi-Poké-Digi-Dragoman Land."
"Fine, Mr. Edgeworth! Are you desu happy now?" Simon growled.
"Very." Edgeworth sneered. "Now, until your respective guardians return, I want all of you to be on your best behavior- no yelling, no reckless playing, and most importantly: no assaulting me for my views on media…" The adolescent ordered, giving Simon the stink eye when mentioning assault. "Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes." Ema and Maya said in unison while Simon replied shortly after with a "Hai".
"Good. Now if you three…" Edgeworth cut himself upon realizing that he was missing a child, specifically his adoptive sister, who, if not with him by the time he regrouped with his mentor and Gant, would cause him to die a slow, painful, electric and rant-filled death due to the fact that he lost her while watching three complete strangers.
"Where's Franziska!?" Edgeworth demanded in a distraught tone as he frantically scanned the area. "Young girl, silver hair, a penchant for using variations of the word 'fool' and whipping boys…!"
The children all shook their heads, completely unaware of Franziska's whereabouts.
"Franziska! Franziska! Where are you!? If you can hear me, tell that I'm a fool!" Edgeworth bellowed at the top of his lungs, only to receive no reply.
"Oh no… Oh no…! Knowing Franziska, she probably left the area when I was distracted with Maya, Anime Kid, and… and… What's your name?" Edgeworth asked Ema.
"Ema, but you can call me whatever you want, Mr. Edgeworth." The girl flirtatiously responded.
"Thanks… I think?" Edgeworth said with a tone of uncertainty, not sure how to respond to Ema's behavior. "Anyways, back to the matter at hand: finding Franziska. Knowing her, she won't go to the southern portion of the boardwalk since she wants to avoid the amusement park at all costs, leaving us with the northern half. So with this information in hand, let's waste no time in searching for her." The adolescent stated as he lead his group of children away from the playground and onto the boardwalk.
"If only Mia was here. She knows everything and would solve this problem in no time!" Maya boasted.
"I don't know anything!" Mia yelled, gripping the sides of her head in frustration. "I've been studying this stuff for hours on end practically this entire week and it's still not sinking in!"
"Mia, just calm down and take a sip of your smoothie." Lana said as she nudged Mia's cup towards her. "Everything will be fine."
"No, they won't!" Mia slammed her fists against their table. "If I don't ace this final, I'll lose my scholarship and I'll never become an attorney!"
"Mia…" Lana calmly said, gently putting her hand on her friend's tense shoulder. "You're a smart girl. You know this material, but your nerves are getting the best of you. If you take a few deep breaths and relax, you'll find that you know more than you think you do."
"Alright, Lana. I'll try…" Mia said as she let out a deep sigh.
Ok, she's finally calmed down… Aura thought to herself as she watched the two girls from a few tables away. Now's your chance, Aura. Don't blow it!
"H-Hey, Mia…" Aura nervously said, shakily waving her hand at her.
"Oh, hi Aura. Was there something you needed?"
"Well… I was just in the area and, um… I just wanted to know if you'd like to-"
"Hello, ladies!" Kristoph proclaimed, the top button on his shirt undone and a boombox in hand, as he sauntered over to the table with Klavier following closely behind. "Do any of you know the forecast is for the next five minutes?"
"No, not really." Mia replied.
"I think that the weather's supposed to remain sunny for the rest of the day." Lana added.
Klavier, noticing that Aura was glaring daggers at his older brother, tried to help Kristoph dodge a bullet by tugging on his periwinkle suitcoat.
"Bro, I don't think that this is a good idea."
"Quiet, Klavier, I'm working my magic." Kristoph replied without looking at his little brother. "Now, where was I…? Oh, right." The adolescent boy placed the boombox on the table. "I know what the forecast is, ladies, and…"
"It's raining men!" A female voice yelled as the boombox started playing Geri Halliwell's It's Raining Men at full-blast.
"What the…?" Lana said as her and Mia's eyes widened at the sight of Kristoph beginning to squat in beat with the song.
Klavier noticed Aura starting to growl and clench her fists. "Uh, bro… I really think we should leave."
"You're only saying that because you know that I'm going to succeed. Now if you'll excuse me, these fine ladies are on the verge of falling for my charms."
"Trust me, we're not." Mia stated, wanting so badly to look away from the squatting adolescent, but, like with a horrible car crash, she found herself unable to.
"Hey, pisshead!" Aura snapped as she slapped Kristoph's shoulder. "I'm trying to have a moment here!"
"Tell you what, dearie, if you play your cards right, I can give you a moment..." Kristoph said as he flashed the purple-haired girl a sultry grin.
"What!" Aura hissed.
"You heard me, sweet cheeks. There's plenty of room on the Kristoph Express for all you fine ladies and it stops for nothing!" Kristoph boasted as he began to squat even faster.
"Oh, we'll see about that…!" Aura snarled as she picked up his boombox.
"Put down my boombox this instant!" Kristoph demanded. "What do you think you're- Noooo!"
As Kristoph was trying- and failing- to get a date, Franziska was wandering around the boardwalk, a smirk on her face as she relished her victory over her foolish little brother. Sure, she didn't have any money, but Franziska didn't need any to have a good time, she just needed to get away from that foolish playground and the fool who took her there in the first place- a task she accomplished in spades.
So suffice to say, Franziska felt like she was on top of the world, the master of her own destiny, capable of doing whatever she wanted… so long as it didn't cost anything and got back to Miles Edgeworth in time to regroup with her papa and Gant. But other than that, Franziska was a free girl and nothing could ruin that… except a short man with a single tuft of pink hair on the top of his head and several teeth missing, wearing only a brown trench coat, stepping out in front of her.
"Oh ho ho… You're pretty, hmm, yes…" The man said with an unsettlingly large grin as he twiddled his fingers.
"Thanks…" Franziska said with a tone of unease as she tried to walk around the man, only for him to block her path.
"Where are you going, young lady? Got some place to be?"
"I have to meet with my brother. He gets very worried when we're separated."
"Hoh, hoh. What a nice brother you have, uh, huh. But I don't think he'd mind if you helped me out with a favor."
"A favor…?"
"Uh, huh. A real small one. My puppy's lost and I need someone to help me find him."
"Do you think that I'm foolish enough to believe that foolish lie?" Franziska smirked. "That's the oldest trick in the book on abductions."
"Hoh, hoh. Not gonna bite, are ya." The strange man stated as he began to scratch all over his body. "Well, I have candy, and lots of it. Hmm, yes." The man stated as he took some suspicious-looking no-name candy out of his coat pockets. "Want some? Hmm, yes?"
"I'm not taking your candy, you foolish creep!" Franziska snapped.
"Come on, one bite. It's yummy in the tummy, uh, huh…!" The man leaned towards Franziska, twiddling his fingers, earning him a lash in the face with her ridding crop.
However, unlike with most other people, instead of being left in pain, or at the very least driven back, the perverted pink-haired man was not only unfazed, but actually seemed to enjoy it.
"Oh ho ho! So stingy…! So exhilarating…!" The perverted man hissed, much to Franziska's dismay.
"What kind of fool are you!?"
"The kind that just wants to be your friendly, friendly friend, uh, huh!"
Seeing that this man couldn't be stopped by conventional means, Franziska figured that her only hope for safety would be if she ran back to her brother in the hopes that the perverted stranger would be intimidated by Miles Edgeworth's cold glare and fierce, unyielding nature. And so, Franziska ran back the other way at full speed as the pink-haired man chased after her while he made promises of buying her a pony and brushing her hair.
However, despite her best efforts, Franziska noticed the man slowly, but surely catching up to her, so, with no other options coming to mind, the silver-haired girl rushed into a nearby alley, hoping that it would lead to some other part of the boardwalk. But unfortunately for her, all the alley lead to was a dead end- a brick wall that Franziska pressed her back against, shaking like a leaf as the debauched man walk towards her, twiddling his fingers as his smile grew wider.
This was the end, Franziska read enough case files on this sort of crime to know that it usually ends with the child's corpse being found in a river or a shallow grave. Bracing herself for the inevitable, Franziska closed her eyes, waiting for something bad to happen. However, that was not the case.
"Hmm, yes? Who are-" The man tried to ask before being cut off by a bone-shattering noise, followed by a loud thud.
Opening her eyes, Franziska felt simultaneously relieved and terrified- relieved at seeing the pink-haired creep lying face down on the ground, unconscious as a small stream of blood oozed out of the corner of his mouth, and terrified upon seeing the person who saved her: a mime.
Her savior was a tall, lanky man- appearing six feet tall at the very least- with a thin, powdered face and wearing classic mime attire- a black and white striped shirt, black suspenders, white gloves, and a black derby hat. However, trivial details such as appearance did not matter to Franziska, who was still trembling with her back against the wall.
"Get-Get back, you foolish mime! I-I'm not afraid to use this!" Franziska stuttered, weakly holding up her riding crop with a shaky hand.
Upon seeing the young girl's terror, the mime, being dedicated to his career, remained silent and put his hands out in front of him and frantically shook them before pointing to himself and then at the unconscious pink-haired creep.
"You… You stopped him?" Franziska asked with a tone of shock, unable to believe that a mime would actually save her life, to which he replied with a nod.
The mute performer then pointed to Franziska and then at his other hand, which he was using to give her a thumbs up.
"Are you asking if I'm alright?"
The mime nodded once more.
"Yes, I'm fine." Franziska answered, prompting the performer to grin before giving her two thumbs up.
The mime then proceeded to point to Franziska and gestured for her to come with him, though upon seeing the young girl's hesitation, the performer turned his pockets inside-out to show her that he was unarmed. Upon seeing this, and knowing that the man saved her life, Franziska walked out of the alley with the mime where they were confronted by an adolescent with his hair moderately long and spikey in the front and short in the back with some peach fuzz growing on his chin.
"Yo, Hugh! Where have you been? Your break ended 15 minutes ago and the boss sent me out to bring you back!" The adolescent yelled as shook his clenched fists at the mime.
Though with a series of hand gestures and bits involving running in place, Hugh told the teen about what had just transpired with the pink-haired creep and how he needed to help Franziska find her family.
"Look Hugh, you get back to your post while I help this little cutie get back to where she needs to go." The adolescent said, earning him a glare from the mime. "I'm not gonna hit on her! What kind of creep do you think I am!?" The boy yelled, prompting Hugh to slowly walk towards the amusement park while giving the adolescent the stink eye.
Upon seeing Hugh leave the area, the adolescent kneeled down so that he was face-to-face with the young girl.
"Hiya, my name's Larry! What's yours?"
"None of your business." Franziska curtly responded with crossed arms and a scowl on her face.
"C'mon, don't be mean to ol' Mr. Larry! I just want to be your-" Larry was cut off by Franziska lashing him in with her riding crop, causing him to yelp in pain. "Never mind. So, who did you come here with?"
"My papa and brother, but I was with just my brother when we separated."
"So, do you have any general idea where either of them are?"
"Oh, I know exactly where my brother is." Franziska smirked with a waggle of her finger.
"Ok! That's great!" Larry enthusiastically said with a clap of his hands. "So where is he?"
"I don't want to tell you."
"Why not?" Larry asked as he cocked his head in confusion. "Don't you want to get back together with him after all that's happened?"
"I left him because I didn't want to deal with his foolishness, something that I'm not ready to return to. Therefore, you won't be getting any more information from me." Franziska stated as she raised her nose in derision.
"Fine." Larry said, his face and tone becoming more serious. "If you don't want to tell me anything, I'll just take you to security and have them keep you safe until your father or brother comes to pick you up."
Upon hearing this, Franziska eyes began to bug out. For it was one thing to deal with Miles Edgeworth's foolishness and superiority complex, but dealing with her papa was a completely different, deadlier ballpark- one which involved lots of yelling and electricity. So, deciding to deal with the lesser of two evils, Franziska chose to be more open with the adolescent.
"On second thought, I'd be more than happy to show you where my little brother is." Franziska said with a smile, grabbing Larry's hand and walking him in the direction of the playground.
A little bit later, Edgeworth was walking with the other children, holding Ema and Maya's hands while Simon held the aspiring spirit medium's other hand.
"Why are we holding hands! I don't wanna hold hands!" Maya pouted with puffed cheeks.
"Well, maybe you should of thought about that before running off twice to steal hamburgers from complete strangers. It's one thing trying to prevent losing more children, but it's another when I have to deal with theft." Edgeworth retorted.
"Well, you don't have to be some old geezer about it!"
"Hey, I'm not complaining. I love this arrangement!" Ema proclaimed with a large grin.
"Hai, I desu agree with Ema-chan, for I get to hold the hand of my desu kawaii loli Maya-chan." Simon chimed in.
"Alright, children, stay focused. Our goal is to find Franziska. Now, this may take a while, and our morale may start to dip with each unsuccessful minute, but we must press on until we finally-"
"Found her!" Ema chirped, pointing to Franziska who was walking in their direction with Larry.
Upon seeing her brother, the silver-haired girl let go of Larry's hand and calmly walked over to Edgeworth, where he gave her a bear hug.
"Get off of me, Miles Edgeworth!" Franziska ordered, freeing herself from her brother's hug with a swift swing of her riding crop.
"Franziska von Karma, do you know how worried I was about you?! You may think you're so powerful, but what if you run into someone bigger, or stronger, or resilient to your riding crop? You could be kidnapped or worse! I-" Edgeworth was cut off with another lash from the riding crop.
"Miles Edgeworth, stop being so emotional! I'm fine and nothing happened. And do you know why? Because I'm a von Karma, and von Karma's are-"
"Edgey!?" Larry yelled with excitement, interrupting Franziska and causing Edgeworth's eyes to bug out upon seeing childhood friend that he didn't miss.
"No, it can't be…!" Edgeworth gasped, reeling back as if he was face-to-face with the Grim Reaper.
"Yo, Edgey! Tell me you didn't forget about me and all the good times we had!" Larry snapped, his eyes filling with tears as he slowly approached the maroon-cladded adolescent. "Well, even if you did, we can always use this time to catch-
"Run!" Edgeworth yelled, grabbing one of each child's hands and running for his life with them as Larry chased after him.
Seeing the danger present, Simon took a paper throwing star out of his kimono and threw it at Larry, hitting the adolescent in the eye, though not severely wounding the adolescent, and causing him to fall to the ground.
"Ah! My eye!" Larry screamed as he flailed his legs. "What did I ever do to deserve this!?"
So with Larry incapacitated, Edgeworth managed to return to the playground with the four children without any further incidents.
Later, after Ema, Maya, and Simon had been safely returned to their respective guardians, Edgeworth and Franziska made their way to the spot where they'd regroup with Manfred and Gant.
"Remember, Franziska, if your father or Detective Gant asks what happened tonight, just tell them that we simply had an uneventful stroll around the boardwalk."
"You don't have to tell me twice, Miles Edgeworth. I don't want to be hit with that stun gun as much as… Speaking of which, there's Papa and Detective Gant now." Franziska stated as she saw the two older men approaching their position.
But as they approached the aspiring prosecutors, Edgeworth couldn't help but notice Franziska giving her father a strange look.
"Is there something wrong, Franziska?"
"Is it just me, Miles Edgeworth, or is Papa not only missing his cane, but also his jacket and shoes?"
"It appears so…" Edgeworth stated as he took a closer look at his mentor. "This day just keeps getting stranger and stranger with each passing minute."