Chapter 19 – Coming Home

If I never face another dragon again, I can die a happy woman, Alyx thought as they finally made their way out of the mines, blood-drenched and exhausted. It had been a grueling battle, the hardest she had faced since the end of the blight. Yet they made it through, and in one piece too, thank the Maker.

By the time they had reached the surface the sun had already set. Velanna suggested they make use of her campsite, and although none of them were comfortable with this solution, no one had the energy to make camp elsewhere either. Luckily it was a warm, clear night; perfect for sleeping under the stars. The Wardens simply laid their bedrolls out by the fire. Velanna chose to sleep separately.

They spent the next several days combing the woods for lingering darkspawn, cleaning up after Velanna's mess, and in taking care of some odd jobs Alyx had picked up back in Amaranthine. They found the mage Ines and convinced her to do Wynne's bidding, and even had an interesting conversation with a couple of ancient Avvar statues.

Velanna's addition to their numbers made for many colorful conversations amongst her companions, but it also was the source of a great deal of strife. She had a deep loathing for humans and did not hesitate to remind them of this at every turn. She took nearly anything said to her as an insult and reveled in prodding the tempers of her already travel-weary men. Alyx had nearly reconsidered her agreement with the Dalish mage on more than one occasion based solely on the woman's obnoxious attitude, but then she would remind herself how desperately they needed new Wardens. It was difficult enough to conceive that Velanna wished to be a Grey Warden in the first place.

After nearly a week of traipsing through the forest, it became apparent that any remaining darkspawn had fled to the deep roads or were too far underground for them to detect. Alyx decided it was finally time for them to head back to the Vigil. There Velanna would take her Joining, and the rest of them could partake in a few days of well deserved rest before continuing on to the Knotwood Hills.

Now, sitting alone by the fire while the rest of her companions slept, Alyx savored the quiet and solitude that was rarely afforded to her anymore. They were less than a half-day's ride from the Vigil and she could not wait to return to the place that had quickly become something of a sanctuary to her. She wondered if any of the others felt the same way about the keep as she did.

There was once a time that she could not imagine considering anywhere but Highever as home. Then later, during the blight, she recalled a conversation she had with Alisitair on the subject.

"We won't always be traveling like this you know. Once the war is over, once the blight is, well…a time will come when we'll have to think about having a real home again. Is there…anywhere you consider home?" Alistair had asked her, sounding oddly nervous though she couldn't understand why at the time.

"I guess my home is with the Grey Wardens now. With you," she had told him.

"I…I guess I like the sound of that," he had stuttered with such a sweet mix of surprise and elation on his face that she couldn't help but fall in love with him all the more.

Then after the blight, after…everything else, nothing felt right at all. Denerim was empty and cold, little more than a ruin after the battle, and Highever just wasn't home anymore without the warm and constant presence of her parents…let alone the absence of all the other familiar faces of the poor souls who perished that long ago night. She never truly wished to come to Amaranthine, to be forced to live in the former home of the man that had, for all intents and purposes, destroyed everything she knew and loved. The keep itself was a monstrosity; far bigger than Highever castle by far. She never cared for the furnishings, and it had possibly the scariest basement ever imagined, yet somehow the Vigil spoke to her in ways she never thought possible. Perhaps this was because it was a constant. Fereldan itself had grown and changed, had been destroyed and rebuilt, but through it all the Vigil remained. Ever present, ever watching, just as its name implied.

"You are unlike any human I've met before," a feminine voice said nearby, startling her out of her musings.

Alyx looked up to see Velanna standing on the other side of the campfire, staring at her in confusion.

"Why do you say that?" Alyx asked her.

"I can see that you are no common peasant, yet you treat me like an equal. Why is that?" Velanna asked as she circled the fire and sat down next to her.

"Why should I not? I fought by the side of a Dalish clan during the blight and found them to be both tenacious and honorable. In short, I have a great deal of respect for your people," Alyx replied.

"See? That right there. That is not a common opinion amongst your kind," Velanna snapped.

"Perhaps not amongst the common folk, no. Grey Wardens, however, do not discriminate according to race. We conscript on skill and skill alone. Thus, ours is more of an integrated society, and a much more egalitarian way of thinking if I do say so myself." Alyx replied. "You should get used to the idea, Velanna. You will be spending a great deal of time in the company of humans. As long as you are civil to them, they will respect you in turn."

Velanna snorted.

"I will believe that when I see it, human," she huffed as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Velanna, I've been meaning to ask you…are you sure this is what you want?" Alyx asked the woman quietly.

"I said that it was, didn't I?" Velanna snapped at her, eyes narrowing.

"I only wish to offer you a way out if you are at all unsure. Once you take your joining, there is no turning back."

"Why?"

"That I cannot tell you until afterwards. You will just have to trust me on this."

"Look, human, I appreciate the thought, but I see no other path before me," Velanna began with a heavy sigh. "Those monsters killed my clan and took my sister. I—I realize that I may never see her again, but all I have left in this world is the hope that we may one day be reunited. Until then, I can use the abilities your order can grant me to take my vengeance out on the beasts responsible. Does that appease you?"

"Indeed it does," Alyx replied with a sad smile.

All of a sudden they were interrupted by a disturbance in the wood surrounding their small camp. Alyx looked up to see a falcon perched in a nearby tree, its intelligent eyes gleaming in the firelight as it gazed down at them.

"Tis strange to see such a creature out at this time of day. He's been following us for days now, you know," Velanna remarked.

"Yes, I did notice," Alyx murmured as she stared at her namesake.

"Don't you find it…odd?"

"I'd rather think of it as a good omen, personally," Alyx replied distractedly.

"Have it your way, human," Velanna replied with a dry chuckle as she stood to walk back to her tent. "Until the morrow…Commander."

"Good night, Velanna."

They broke camp early the next morning, heading out just as the sun had fully risen. The closer they grew to the keep, the higher the spirits of her companions. By mid-morning Oghren began to warble out a jaunty tune and amazingly the others not only let it pass uncommented, they even joined in when he chose more popular songs. Alyx surprised them all, though, when she united her lilting soprano with theirs when he chose a sweeping war ballad instead.

"I didn't know you could sing, Commander," Anders said, his eyes alight with astonishment.

"You never asked?" she replied, trying hard not to laugh at his expression.

"Ha ha, very funny, but seriously…is there anything you can't do?" he asked.

"Well…I can't cook to save my life, and that's putting it lightly. Nan tried to teach me once long ago at my mother's bidding, but after I nearly burned down the entire building she made me promise never to go anywhere near her kitchen again. Boy, was she ever mad!" Alyx said, laughing at the memory.

"I remember that," Nate said with a chuckle. "You could hear the woman screaming clear across the castle!"

"You remember—wait, you were there?"

"Yes. That was the last time I visited Highever, actually. Good old Nan. Her bark was always worse than her bight," he said, his brow furrowing. "I don't suppose she…?"

"No. She…no," Alyx replied hesitantly, her eyes closing against the sudden sorrow that washed over her. Poor Nan, she thought, her heart aching for her dear old friend.

"Ah. I'm sorry, Lex. I thought if anyone could make it out, it would be her."

An awkward silence fell after this statement, Nate and Alyx both shifting uncomfortably in their saddles.

"Way to ruin the mood, Howe," Anders mumbled, earning a glare from Nathaniel. "Sooo…Commander? How do you plan on spending the next few days?" he asked, abruptly changing the subject.

"I suppose that decision is hinged upon how much paperwork Varel has to bury me under," she replied with a frown. "I swear that man spends his free time coming up with devious ways to keep me occupied."

"No doubt he is only doing his job," Nate commented offhandedly.

"Perhaps I should shackle you to a desk for hours on end and see how you like it, hmm?" she said sarcastically.

"I'll pass," he replied lightly, throwing her one of those rare smiles of his.

By then they had made it through the open gates of the Vigil and everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief. As they began to make their way through the courtyard together, Oghren swore colorfully and dived behind a pile of barrels.

"What the…?" Alyx began, but then noticed the angry dwarf that was stomping toward her, hands on her hips akimbo. "Felsi! What a pleasant surprise!" Alyx cried in mock pleasure.

"Where is he? I know he's here. Oghren! You get your hairy ass over here, now!" Felsi yelled.

"Hang on to yer beard, woman," Oghren growled as he stepped out from behind the barrels before plastering a toothy grin across his face. "Is this a conjugal visit? Lookin' for Oghren to grease the old wheel?"

"Don't lay a finger on me!" Felsi cried. "You've done a lot of stupid things on a whim, Oghren, but joining the wardens?

"Didn't ye say it would be hot?" Oghren replied with a snicker.

"We were role-playing!" Felsi screeched.

"And that's our cue to leave. Take your time Oghren!" Alyx called as she shooed the rest of them towards the keep.

"But it was just getting interesting!" Anders whined.

"Do you really want to be present when they kiss and make up?" Alyx asked him, a devious smile wreathing her lips.

"Eww, I so did not need that imagery in my head. You are an evil, evil woman, you know that?" he replied.

"So I've been told," she replied nonchalantly.

"It is strange to think that anyone would wish to 'grease the old wheel' with the furry oaf let alone marry him," Anders continued. "She must be a formidable woman to put up with his drunken antidotes…let alone the smell."

"That she is my friend, and one who certainly deserves more than to be left without a word of explanation. I guess I just assumed that he was here with her blessing."

Anders snorted.

"We are talking about Oghren, aren't we?" he said dryly.

"Good point, but it still displeases me. I'm not one to jump in the middle of domestic disputes, but Oghren and I will have words about this, of that you can be sure," Alyx said with a heavy sigh as they entered the keep. "The rest of you are free to go, I'll call you when the Joining ceremony is prepared."

Nate had heard Alyx's dismissal…he simply chose to ignore it. She had promised to explain herself when they returned to the Vigil and damn it, she was going to answer every last one of his questions. It did occur to him that cornering her just as soon as they arrived was probably a bad idea, but he found that he could wait no longer. He had spent the better part of the past week mulling over all the possible circumstances that would lead her to be in possession of Maric's signet ring…none of which were pleasant or even remotely feasible to his mind, but the fact that she was hiding something from them was gnawing away at his insides. After everything that they had been through together since the night of his conscription, Nate thought that she had finally learned to trust him. Yet it seemed that she still had her doubts, and it was slowly killing him from the inside out.

He wasn't the only one waiting for a private audience it seemed. Though Velanna had disappeared swiftly enough and Oghren was still, presumably, outside arguing with his wife, Anders followed close behind as they entered the great hall.

"Varel!" Alyx called warmly as the Senechal walked up to greet them.

"Welcome home, my Lady," Varel replied with an answering smile and a bow.

"Any pressing matters you've been waiting with bated breath to tell me about?" she asked, her smile turning slightly wicked.

"No, my Lady…well, there are some minor concerns, but nothing that can't wait till morning—"

"Good. Then I'll ask that you to have a Joining ritual prepared. We brought a new recruit home with us."

"Very well, Commander, but I think you ought to know—"

"And if you would let me know when everything is prepared, I wish to retire early this evening."

"Of course, but I have to inform you that—"

"Oh! And if you could have my supper sent to my rooms, I—what is it Varel? Speak up."

"You have visitors, my Lady," Varel said wearily.

"Well, why didn't you say so at once!" she replied impatiently.

"He would have if you gave the poor man half the chance to spit it out, my dear Alyxandria," a heavily accented voice replied as a slim form appeared from the shadows.

"Zevran!" Alyx cried, throwing herself into the arms of a blond elfin man clad in leather armor.

Nate disliked this 'Zevran' already. He didn't care for the intimate way he was looking at her, or how his foreign tongue rolled over the Commander's full name…as if he was caressing it with every syllable. The name sounded familiar, but he could not recall from where. Had he met the man before this, he would be sure to have remembered the encounter. Everything about him screamed "dangerous".

"What are you doing here? I thought you were in Antiva!" Alyx continued as she pulled back from the elf's affectionate embrace.

Ah, then this is the Antivan Crow that taught her poisons, Nate thought as he relaxed a little at this information.

"Ah, yes, that I was," Zevran began, his exotic accent already grating on Nate's nerves. "Unfortunately, things were getting a little too…heated, shall we say, for comfort. The crows truly have a bad habit of turning up in the most inconvenient places. Needless to say, I happened to find myself back in Fereldan, and as life is never boring around you, my delectable Warden, I thought to offer you my services. Of course when I reached Highever I was told of your relocation to Amaranthine, so here I am."

"Couldn't get enough darkspawn I take it?"

"The darkspawn I could certainly live without. Alas, I found that I could not live another day without beholding that luscious bosom of yours. Indeed, it seems to have grown a life of its own since we last met. Alistair was a very lucky man to be able to gaze on such a bounty in all its glory whenever it pleased him to do so."

"And the real reason?"

"Although I do enjoy staring at your bosom, my dear, you are correct in thinking this is not the only reason for my visit. I happened to pick up a job while I was in Highever, and although it is not nearly as exciting as saving the world from complete inhalation, it amused me to accept it. So you see, until I am discharged by my current employer, I am not free to slay darkspawn at your side."

"And this 'job' led you here? What sort of job, Zevran?"

"There is no need to be concerned. I have no plans to assassinate anyone…unless you have need of such services, and then perhaps we should talk in private. No, I am simply acting as an escort. Speaking of which, I think there are some others here that wish to greet you, if I'm not mistaken. Never come empty-handed, the brothel mistress always told me…though I am thinking she meant it in another context, no?" Zevran replied, chuckling at his own perverse joke.

As the elf prattled on Nate saw a man that looked vaguely familiar and a pretty, petite red-headed woman step into the hall carrying a babe with golden ringlets within the circle of her arms. As the child twisted in the woman's grasp to get a better look around the room, he noticed several things at once: the child was undoubtedly a little girl, that she had a smudge of dirt across her pert little nose, and that one chubby little fist was shoved within her dainty mouth. She cautiously eyed Anders and himself with large, curious eyes, and then shifted her attention to the trio standing opposite of them. The moment the child's gaze fell upon Alyx, her eyes went wide with pure delight. Popping her fist out of her mouth the child screamed "Mama! Mama!"at the top of her small lungs before struggling to get down from the red-head's arms.

Alyx's head snapped around at the sound of the babe's voice. At first Nate thought he misunderstood, but then he heard Alyx's soft gasp and subsequent cry of joy as she crouched and threw her arms wide in welcome. The moment the little girl's feet hit the ground she launched herself at Alyx, nearly falling a time or two in her haste over the uneven stone. As soon as the small body crashed into hers Alyx embraced her tightly, tears of joy running down her face unchecked as she held her daughter close to her heart.

"Oh! My dearest, darling girl, how I missed you!" she sobbed into the child's hair as she rocked her back and forth. She began dropping kisses into the girl's hair and then all over her chubby little face, causing the child to giggle infectiously.

"And what am I, hmm? Fresh nug droppings?" the redhead said saucily in a heavy Orlesian accent as she approached Alyx with a wide smile on her face.

"Leliana!" Alyx exclaimed as she stood and balanced the child in one arm so that she could embrace her friend with the other. "It is so good to see you! And…Arl Teagan…what a pleasant surprise."

"As it is good to see you, my Lady Cousland. You grow more beautiful with every passing day," the man replied eloquently as he bowed over her hand, brushing his lips across her knuckles.

Nate snorted at the man's comment. In truth Alyx looked terrible, covered in a week's worth of dust and Maker knows what else, her eyes puffy from exhaustion and her face tear-streaked. Arl Teagan indeed, he thought with another inward snort. Since when was Teagan Guerrin an Arl? And why on bloody Thedas was he standing in his home paying lip service to his bloody commander?

"I was staying with your delightful family when they decided to visit Vigil's Keep. Your brother insisted that I come along, and I could hardly refuse when there was such company to be had," Teagan continued (and with just the right amount of sheepishness, Nate thought. Bloody perfect).

"Wait. Fergus is here?" Alyx gasped, her face going white.

"Not as of yet, dear-heart. He had to stay behind to take care of some business, but judging by his last missive we should expect to see him sometime tomorrow morning," Leliana replied.

"His last missive? Exactly how long ago did you arrive?" Alyx asked.

"Only a few days ago, but it was worth it just to see the look on your face." Leliana said, a wicked smile playing over her lips. Alyx stuck her tongue out at Leliana, who giggled behind her hand at her expression.

"Now! Tell me, Leli, why are you here?"

"I cannot visit my favorite sister-in-law?" Leliana pouted.

"You're my only sister-in-law! Now stop avoiding the question."

Fergus remarried? When did that happened? And to an Orlesian of all things! Nate thought. The Landsmeet must have had a field day with that one.

"It was Wynne's idea, actually. She wrote to me, you know. Said that she saw you in Amaranthine—"

"And then decided what was best for me, just as she always has," Alyx interjected with a frown.

"She only does so because she cares. She worries about you, dear one. We all do."

Alyx's frown intensified as she considered the Orlesian's words, then a polite mask fell over her features as she turned to speak to her other two guests.

"If you would excuse me gentlemen? It's been a long trip and I find myself in need of a hot meal and a bath."

Both Teagan and Zevran bowed in acknowledgment, though Teagan took the opportunity to kiss her hand once again.

"I trust I will see you at the evening meal, my Lady?" he murmured as he gave her a slow, pointed smile. Alyx blinked at him, but nodded in affirmation before he turned on his heal to leave the hall, the heels of his boots clicking on the stone in perfect cadence. Alyx immediately grabbed Leliana's arm to keep the woman from running.

"Come. Talk with me while I clean up," she requested, though Nate could hear the subtle command behind her words. So did Leliana if the look on her face was any indication. Yet when Alyx turned her attention to the little girl in her arms, her expression softened once again. "It looks like you could use a washing as well, my love. Would you like to help Mama in her bath?" she asked the child, causing the little girl to erupt into another peel of bell-like laughter.

Nate blinked, thinking how strange it was to hear such words drop from Alyx's lips and yet how natural it seemed at the same time. The babe in her arms was her daughter…her daughter for Maker's sake! That's when it truly hit home. Little Lexy…his Lexy, was a mother.

He watched as the small entourage made its way up the stairs, Alyx too busy murmuring nonsensicals to the child in her arms to look back at the two Wardens left standing in the middle of the hall with identical expressions of astonishment written across their faces.

"I…have I gone completely mad or did I just witness a little girl throw herself into Falcon's arms and call her Mama?" Anders breathed finally.

"It seems that the Commander has been holding out on us," Nate replied as his jaw set at a stubborn angle.

"Why would she keep something like this from us?" Anders cried angrily. "I mean, it's a child not a pet darkspawn! Besides, I thought she said that the taint made it impossible for a Grey Warden to have children. Did she lie about that too?"

"I believe the phrasing she used was 'nearly impossible,' Anders, though it does not set well with me either," Nate replied.

"If you would allow me, gentlemen," Zevran interjected as he approached them. "Have you ever known Falcon to do anything without cause?"

"Well, no…" Anders began as he eyed the elf speculatively.

"Then perhaps you should give her the benefit of a doubt, no?" Zevran continued as he clasped his hands behind him. "Knowing Falcon…as I assure you, I do…unless she has reason to distrust you, she likely planned to tell you all…eventually. As it is, only a handful of people in all of Fereldan are aware of the babe's existence, for reasons that will no doubt be explained to you in good time. Now, with that being said, a word of warning. Should news of this spread beyond these walls, nothing in all of Thedas would save you from Alyxandria's wrath…as Wardens I am assuming that you have an idea of what she is capable of?" Both men gulped and nodded in comprehension. "Then we understand each other? Very good. I did not think that she would conscript men who could not recognize a threat when they hear one."

"So you won't tell us anything?" Anders asked him.

"I could…but this is neither the time nor the place. Now, if you would excuse me, I could not possibly pass up the chance to spy on our delectable Warden-Commander while she is in her bath."

Nate opened his mouth to say something smart in return, but the elf had already melted back into the shadows. He didn't trust the slippery assassin, but Alyx obviously did or he would not be here.

"What'd I miss?" Oghren grunted as he walked into the hall.

"Apparently Falcon has some visitors…one of them being the daughter she never told us she had," Anders said blandly.

"The Lil' Nugget's here?" Oghren asked with a surprised chuckle. "Didn't think she'd want the kid anywhere near while there's still darkspawn runnin' around."

"You knew about her?" Anders cried. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Oghren shuffled his feet nervously as he eyed the two of them wearily.

"Aye, I knew. But it wasn't my secret te tell. B'sides, she'd be wearin' my man bits as jewelry if I had," he replied.

"For something that is apparently such a big secret it seems that everyone around here knows what's going on except us, that is," Anders said dryly. "But all I want to know is why for the Maker's sake! And if you say 'all in good time' I'll have to hurt you."

"Take it easy, sparkles! She was gonna tell ye. Heard her say so me'self. But she wanted to do it on her own terms. Didn't think it would be so sodding soon to be honest."

"Yes, well, it wasn't exactly her choice. Her friends sort of just showed up with the kid in toe," Anders replied moodily. "Andraste's tits! Can you even believe it! Falcon's a…a…"

"Mother?" Oghren supplied.

"Yes. That's it exactly."

"And I suppose that changes the way the wind is blowin', eh, mage?" Oghren bristled with a malevolent grimace.

"What? No! It's just…I'm just…having a hard time wrapping my head around it is all."

"Yeah? Well that's just peachy. You wanna know what's goin' on? Give her some time alone with her kid and when she's ready to talk she'll come to you. Jest…take it easy on her when she does. She's got enough te worry about without you two muckin' it up with yer sodding mood swings," Oghren growled.

For his part Nate was still in shock. There were no words to describe the multitude of emotions that were running through his heart and mind at this sudden discovery. He was confused and hurt, but mostly angry that she didn't feel the need to tell them that against all odds, she had conceived a child. A child that was, for all intents and purposes, something of a miracle. For he had no doubt in his mind that Alistair was the father. Somehow through the haze he could still see the unmitigated joy on Alyx's face at the moment of her reunion with her daughter, and could honestly say he never saw anything more beautiful in his life than that one instant of pure happiness on her face. In all the years that he'd known her, he had never seen her so happy. Yet the strain about her eyes and in the tight set of her shoulders told an entirely different story. Why keep this a secret? And why did he feel suddenly foolish for not seeing it all along?

"Oghren?"

"Howe?" the dwarf grunted.

"Can you at least tell me the child's name?" he found himself asking.

"Aye, now that I can tell you. Her name is Jocelyn."

*Muse Tunes: "Flowers Only Grow Where There Are Seeds" by Anne Dudley (10th Kingdom OST); "The Return of the King" by Howard Shore (Return of the King OST).