A/N: Hey everyone thanks for the reviews! Some readers wanted it to not be a one-shot so here ya go!
~Severus Addicted
Chapter Two: Taunting Urges
Harry sighed as he watched Hermione stomp away. Turning to Ron, he gave him a cold look, "Ron, stop harassing her. Can you not tell there's something going on with her? I'm worried about her and you're not making this situation any better. Give her a break!"
Ron huffed but he knew deep down Harry was right, "She's not taking any more classes than us. I just don't understand what her problem is! She needs to take a chill pill."
"I don't know anything more than you do, Ron, but I do know she's struggling this year. We are her best friends, it's our job to take care of her! It's our job to protect her and help her! But no, we aren't doing any of that "noble friend" shit! Instead, when she gets upset we just attack her and make her feel worse!"
Ron bit his lip in shame, "Don't include yourself in that statement, Harry. You haven't been doing that to her, I have. Merlin's beard, I really screwed up!"
Harry patted him on the shoulder "We can make it up to her. Let's just let her cool down for a bit and then we will go find her. Deal?"
"Deal."
Hermione struggled to even her breathing as she stared at her reflection in the third floor girls' lavatory. Luckily the only other person (if you could consider her a person) that ever comes in here is Moaning Myrtle.
Taking a deep breath, Hermione clenched her fists and lowered her gaze to the drain hole to watch the water disappear in a swirl.
At this very moment Professor McGonagall is calling my parents. I cannot believe I left this happen! My world is going to shatter. . . Dad will be disgusted in me and mom will refuse to speak to me! I won't be loved anymore. They are going to hate me. I hate me so why wouldn't they?
A sudden sting appeared in the palm of her right and she quickly un-clenched her fist. A small cut taunted her as a drop of blood emerged from the wound. Staring at the red liquid, Hermione found herself wanting to see more.
Stretching out her hand to be flat, Hermione winced as the cut stung. Once she had her hand flat, with her left hand she gripped her right hand and gave it a squeeze. More blood bubbled up from the small cut.
Why am I doing this again? Professor McGonagall is going to find out!
Hermione quickly left go in a panic. The last thing she needed was for Professor McGonagall to come after her again!
Suddenly a thought came to her: Unless she believes it was a mistake. After all, I didn't mean to hurt myself in the first place!
With that in mind, Hermione gave another squeeze of her hand. Another small bubble of blood appeared and rolled down the side of her hand.
Hearing someone enter the bathroom, Hermione quickly put her hand under the running water. The blood quickly swirled down the drain.
The footsteps stopped behind her causing goosebumps to appear on her arms and her hair to stand on end. Peeking up at the mirror, she noticed Professor McGonagall standing there, simply staring at her.
Gulping uncomfortably, Hermione slowly turned to look at her face-to-face, "I know why you are here but you have to realize I did not hurt myself on purpose. I was upset and my hands were clenched and my nail dug into my hand. I didn't mean to!"
Minerva pursed her lips, "Hermione, lies are not accepted in my presence."
Cheeks growing hot, she lowered her gaze to the stone floor, "Truly though, Professor, I did not mean to do it!"
Tapping her chin, she gently lifted her face, "Look at me, Hermione."
Biting her lip, she kept her gaze fixed on the floor.
This is so embarrassing! I can't believe I got myself into this AGAIN!
Holding in a sigh, Minerva said, "I know the original cut was an accident but what you did afterwards was on purpose, dear child."
Hermione huffed and pulled her chin out of her Professor's grip, "Why does that even matter?!"
Why can't she just leave me alone? If I want to do this then that's my decision! I own my body and I can do anything I want with it!
Sensing her thoughts, Minerva said, "It matters because it is my job to protect you."
Moving away from her in anger, Hermione had to force herself not to stomp her feet. Giving her a glare, Hermione snapped, "It's your job to protect me? What if I don't want protected?! Back off!"
Minerva closed the gap between them in a split second, "I cannot do that! If I do that and, heaven forbid, you get worse you will be sent away to a hospital. Do you want that?"
This made her freeze.
Trapped, she didn't know what to do or say. Biting her lip, she squeezed her eyes shut tight to keep any tears from appearing.
Minerva's heart clenched for the child in front of her. Without another thought, Minerva pulled her into a warm hug.
After a few minutes of silence, Minerva dropped her hands and looked at the sad child, "You are not alone in this, sweetie. I called your parents this morning, they did not answer."
Hermione left out a sigh of relief, "Oh good! I don't want them to know!"
"They must be informed, child," Minerva reminded her a little more forcefully.
Shaking her head, Hermione moved away from her again, "No they don't! They won't be happy with me. . . Please don't tell them, I'm begging you!"
Minerva sighed, "I seriously doubt you would be in trouble for this. You did not misbehave. You are simply struggling with your stress. What are you afraid of? That you will get grounded or something?"
Blushing, Hermione shrugged, "I'm afraid of disappointment."
Minerva could relate to that. When she was younger, in her opinion, disappointment was worse than being yelled at! Giving her an understanding smile, Minerva patted her arm, "It will be okay, dear."
No it won't be okay! They are going to stop loving me and I will be shunned from the family! My family doesn't accept anything less than perfect! They'll see me as a failure!
Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head, "You don't understand!"
Minerva picked up her hand to inspect the wound. It was very small compared to last night's. Pulling out a muggle band aid from her pocket, Minerva covered the cut up.
She surprised herself but almost kissing the banded area; luckily Hermione didn't notice her slip. To her, kisses make injuries heal faster but she didn't want to scare the child away. Therefore, a kiss to make everything better can wait until her mother sees her.
Patting Hermione's shoulder, Minerva turned toward the exit, "Follow me, Miss Granger."
Hermione followed in a dreadful silence.
When they reached her office Minerva held her door open for her student and then entered herself. Reaching her desk, Minerva pulled out a muggle fashioned finger-nail clipper. Turning to Hermione she gestured for her to bring her hand towards her.
Hermione stared at her like she was insane. "What are you going to do with those?"
Minerva reached out and grabbed her hand herself. Forcing it towards her, she answered Hermione's question, "I am going to clip your nails of course."
Roughly pulling her hand away, Hermione glared at her, "I don't want my nails clipped!"
Giving her an impatient, cool look she answered in an even tone, "You keep hurting yourself with your nails. Therefore, your nails have to go to keep you safe."
Glaring at her, Hermione hid her hands behind her back. "I own my body! If I don't want my nails clipped then they're not going to be clipped!"
Minerva's patience was wearing thin, "You have two choices: either have your nails clipped or I am going to put a spell on them that will turn the tips into cotton. I am sure you can imagine how strange cotton tips would look on your hands."
This time Hermione really did stomp her feet, "I don't want either of those options! This is MY freaking body not YOURS!"
"Young lady if you know what is best for you watch your language! I have never in all of my teaching career had a third year speak to me like that!"
"Oh yeah? What are you doing to do if I don't watch my language?! You're already taking away my free will! You're already taking away my rights to my body!"
In a single swift movement, Minerva had ahold of Hermione's ear and she walked her over to a corner. "You will stand here until you have calmed down. Take deep breaths, close your eyes, and think of something relaxing."
Being her stubborn self, Hermione turned back around to face her irate professor, "You're being ridiculous!"
Minerva thinned her lips and made a motion with her hands to direct the disobedient student to turn back around.
Hermione rolled her eyes, "I'm not a baby. I'm NOT going to face the corner! I'm NOT going to let you clip my nails and you're NOT going to turn them into cotton!"
Minerva anger was quickly boiling over and she prayed the child would do as she said before she did something she would regret later.
Sighing, Minerva sat down at her desk and pretended to ignore the child. Hermione was obviously throwing a fit because she wanted attention.
Seeing her Head of House sit down at her desk, Hermione took that as a sign that she won the argument. "See? Was that so hard to leave me be?"
Minerva's eyebrows shot up, "Young lady you are really pushing your luck. Have a seat."
Huffing, Hermione did as she was instructed, "Fine! But you are not going to do anything to my nails!"
"If I do not trim your nails or do anything to them today and you hurt yourself again with your nails you will lose them faster than Seamus blows up his potions. Am I understood?" Minerva gave her a stern look that dared her to argue.
She agreed but she did so in a tone that told Minerva she was not happy about the arrangement.
Once she was seated, Minerva continued speaking, "What caused you to want to hurt yourself earlier?"
Hermione clenched her jaw and glared at the floor.
Minerva sighed, "Hermione, I am just trying to help you. Please, I am here for you."
A few minutes passed by in silence before Hermione finally un-clenched her jaw and peeked up at her Professor, "I didn't plan to hurt myself, Professor McGonagall."
Nodding, she asked another question, "What made you so mad that you clenched your fists so hard it broke through your skin?"
Lowering her gaze back to the floor, Hermione went silent again.
"Are you stressed out over school assignments?" Minerva asked softly.
Hermione shook her head.
"Did you get into a fight with Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley?"
This time Hermione looked back up at her but continued to stay silent.
Nodding her head, Minerva said, still in a gentle tone, "Would you like to talk about what happened?"
Hermione bit her lip debating whether she should spill or not. After a minute of silence, she said, "Ron was being a jerk."
Minerva stayed silent giving her the floor to speak openly.
"He keeps picking on me because I have to study all the time! It's not fair! Why can't he see that I'm working really hard? I shouldn't be made fun of because of that!"
Standing from her chair, she began pacing. "He constantly calls me a nerd! I am not a nerd! Just because I love books and I take pride in my school work does not make me a nerd!"
Minerva flicked her wand and a tea-pot appeared with two cups. Pouring them both a cup, she glanced up at the fuming student in front of her. Handing her a cup, she asked, "Has Harry done anything wrong?"
Hermione gratefully accepted the cup of tea, "Thank you." Then, sitting the cup back down, she began pacing again. "No, Harry has not done anything wrong but he hasn't stopped Ron from picking on me either!"
Minerva nodded in understanding, "Well, after today you will no longer have to worry about studying as much for classes."
Hermione stared at her with wide, surprised eyes, "No! I have to keep taking those classes!"
In a firm voice, she replied, "No. You do not have to keep taking those classes and you won't be continuing them. This is not up for debate."
Panicked, Hermione felt her breathing become heavy, "You don't understand! I have to take those classes!"
Standing from her seat, Minerva gently grabbed Hermione's arm and forced her to sit down. Pulling the other chair in front of the girl, she sat down. "Then tell me, Hermione. Explain to me why you must take these classes. If I do not understand then help me understand."
Tears of frustration appeared in her eyes and she shook her head.
Without thought, Minerva wiped a tear from her cheek. "Tell me, dear."
Shuddering from trying to keep herself from bawling, Hermione squeezed her eyes shut and stayed silent.
Minerva gave her time and poured Hermione another cup of tea.
Slowly she opened her eyes but bit her lip. Realizing her professor was not forcing her into speaking, she slowly relaxed.
The urge to hurt herself was becoming overwhelming.
Why can't she just leave me alone? I don't want to be bothered anymore! I want to be alone so I can pick and feel that wonderful sting again. I don't want to be bothered! I want to bleed!
Sensing her uneasiness, Minerva placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "Hermione, it's okay. Speak to me."
Hermione snapped.
In a sudden rush of frustration Hermione jumped from her seat to begin pacing back and forth. Tears streamed freely down her face as she spoke. "If I don't take those classes my dad will be disappointed in me! I never do anything that they are proud of! I am good at school though and it's the only thing that they will ever be a little proud of me for! If you take that away you know how mad they would be at me? No you don't know! If you tell them that I hurt myself you know how mad they would be? They would hate me! You have no idea what would happen! You don't know them! I would be shunned from the family! They would be disgusted in me! You have no idea what they are like so leave me alone! Stay out of my business!" With that, she stormed toward the door, forgetting it was locked. Pounding on the locked door, more tears streamed down her face. She spun to shout at her professor, "LET ME OUT!"
Hurrying over to her student, Minerva grabbed Hermione's arms and forced them against the child's sides. She was worried Hermione would accidentally hurt herself in her wrath. Minerva struggled to hold her still as she whispered in the girl's ear, "Hermione, you need to calm down. Take a deep breath."
Hermione pushed and pulled to try to get out of her grasp, "LEAVE ME GO!"
Keeping her grip strong, Minerva forced herself to stay calm, "Child, stop fighting me. I will not let you go until you have calmed down."
Stomping her feet, Hermione tried to push her away, "I'll calm down when you leave go of me!"
Minerva weighed her options. She wasn't completely positive letting the girl go would be a wise decision but she dropped her hands. She realized holding Hermione down against her will was only causing more trauma for the child.
Taking a step back, Minerva watched Hermione closely. If, for any reason, Minerva thought her student was in danger of herself she would once again hold her down.
Breathing deeply, Hermione stumbled against the wall and slid down on her backside. Pulling her knees up to her chest, Hermione hid her face.
Tears were streaming down her face so fast she felt she had no control over her emotions anymore. Her body started shaking and, for what seemed like the tenth time that day, she found it difficult to breathe. Snot and tears mixed together as she let her emotions fly.
Wincing as her bones cracked, Minerva lowered herself beside the distraught child. Placing her hand on the child's back, she began rubbing small circles and whispering words of hope.
Once Hermione's cries slowed, Minerva started speaking. "Darling I am sure your parents will not react in such a negative way. Most definitely they will be quite upset but I cannot see a parent "shunning" their child because he or she is going through a hard time. I am sure they will understand."
Hermione vigorously shook her head causing a small tear to fly off her face and land on Minerva's arm.
Gently running her thumb across Hermione's cheek, Minerva gathered all the tears and continued in an encouraging tone, "How about we speak to them together?"
Hermione bit her lip. She knew she would not win this argument and so she dreadfully nodded her head.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Please leave a review to let me know your thoughts and feelings on this story!
~Severus Addicted
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