Chapter 24 - Complications

He'd surprised her.

That much was evident by her soft intake of breath and gentle, "Beg pardon?"

"You heard me," he replied in a low, husky voice.

"Anders, I…" she began, eyeing him wearily as she chewed on her bottom lip. It was a nervous habit of hers, one he had seen her do on numerous occasions. It never failed to pull at him in the most sensual of ways, and today was no exception. In the past he was always able to conceal her affect on him, but after the events of the past few days he had reached his breaking point. He had almost lost her for Maker's sake, and to see her alive and so typically Falcon was enough to crumble the last vestiges of his self-control. He watched like a man possessed as a row of tiny, white teeth pulled over that full, luscious lower lip of hers and groaned, once, deep in his throat before leaning forward to claim her lips with his own. He reveled in the soft warmth of her lips as he moved his mouth over hers in a slow, sensual caress meant to simultaneously sooth and excite. He could taste the surprise on her lips and when she gasped he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss even further.

A thousand thoughts flitted through Anders head, even as his body was rocked by a powerful surge of heat. That this was perhaps the worst timing ever was amongst the first, followed by a series of thoughts lost within the tidal wave of sensations the feel of her tongue against his created deep inside.

Maker, she tastes even better than I could've ever imagined, he thought as he gave in to his baser instincts.

A nagging voice at the back of his head reminded him of all that he had witnessed in his expedition through the fade to retrieve her. It told him to be cautious…that she had just been through an ordeal…that she clearly wasn't ready for this and all that it implied. So he kept it short, light and teasing, giving her just a hint of what would come were she to choose it…choose him.

Somewhere amongst his musings and the haze of lust that had settled over him Anders thought he heard a door open and then quietly close again but he swiftly dismissed it as a trick of the ear. Even so he cared little about what the others might think of his intentions. Let them see me with her, he thought with a confidence as natural to him as air.

As he pulled away Anders noted the look of astonishment still present on Falcon's face. Obviously she had been affected by his touch though how, he could not tell by her expression. He could see the moment she mentally shook herself free of the lingering effects of his kiss and stifled the chuckle that rose to his throat. When she opened her mouth to speak he hushed her with a finger gently pressed to her lips. Her eyebrows shot up in question, but she complied with his silent command nonetheless.

"I think I have an idea of what you're about to say, and I—"he began, swallowing back the nervous lump suddenly lodged somewhere between his heart and his lungs. He cleared his throat, but even then his voice remained thick and raspy. Get it together you coward! He told himself before forcing himself to continue. "I know this is rather sudden, but please…just…think about it first."

Falcon eyed him quietly, her cerulean eyes intense and unreadable as they bore deep into his own hazel gaze. He could feel sweat forming within the palms of his hands as he waited for her to say something…anything. When no answer was forthcoming he stood to leave, crestfallen by her silence but determined to remain optimistic. He stopped abruptly in the doorway, a thought suddenly occurring to him.

Maybe she's afraid I'll leave if she refuses me, he wondered, though the very idea of being rejected at all tore at his insides. He looked back at her over his shoulder, doing his best to keep his inner turmoil from showing in his expression.

"Falcon," he began in a soft, unwavering voice. "Whatever you choose, I will stand by my oath. You shall always have me as a warden and as a friend…no matter what you decide. I swear it."

She visibly relaxed at his words, nodding once in acknowledgment. When it was apparent that she would not do or say anything further Anders took his leave, resolved to win her…no matter the cost.

Alyx was in shock.

Did that really just happen? Alyx thought frantically as her heart and mind raced. Anders kissed me…Anders! Oh, Maker!

She should have seen it coming. All the signs had been there, Oghren and Zevran had even warned her as much but she had ignored them…nay, she had dismissed it out of hand. Stupid, stupid, stupid! She chided herself as her throat tightened painfully.

She didn't know how to react or what to think or feel. This, all of this, was far too overwhelming and complicated for her befuddled nerves. She was so wrapped up in the maelstrom of her thoughts that she didn't hear the door creak open or see the figure that stepped inside until she heard an all-too familiar voice gasp her name. Her head snapped up at the sound.

"Fergus!" she breathed, a wide smile automatically spreading across her face until she took in his pale face and shaking hands. She hadn't seen her brother like this since…a sudden fear crept over her. "Fergus, what is it?" she asked him, voice shaking with uncertainty.

"You're awake," he rasped and then swiftly crossed the room and dropped to his knees beside the bed, staring at her as if he couldn't quite believe his own eyes. He reached out to lightly run his knuckles over her cheek, his face crumbling as he buried his head in her lap.

Alyx was shocked all over again. Here was her proud, self-confident brother, her pillar of strength, falling to pieces before her very eyes. Tears climbed into her throat as she heard his muffled "I'm sorry," before his shoulders began to shake with silent sobs.

"Shhh, I'm alright," she said soothingly as she placed a hand on his head. Fergus sniffed and looked up at her, grief twisting his beloved features.

"Maker, Alyx. I thought I'd lost you," he said through his tears. "That in itself was hard enough, but to think that the last words I said to you were born of my own stubborn foolishness…it was too much to bear."

"All is forgiven, dearest," she said, a poignant smile tugging at her lips as she smoothed his dark hair back from out of his face.

It was a gesture she had seen her mother do on countless occasions in their youth. The thought was bittersweet and made her long for those rare, cherished moments she and her mother used to share when the castle grew quiet and Eleanor Cousland could simply be "Mother" instead of Teryna. How I miss you Mama, she thought longingly before turning her attention back to her brother.

With a sigh Fergus stood and found a chair to place by the bedside, running his hands through his hair as he sat. She was relieved to see something of his typical buoyancy return with the color in his face as he threw an arm over the back of the chair and crossed his legs in a wholly masculine fashion.

"You scared about ten years off my life, pup. Could you at least try not to get yourself killed on a regular basis?" Fergus drawled, making her chuckle.

"Can't promise anything, brother. Not with the darkspawn throwing themselves at me every chance they get…but I will make a concerted effort just for you," she replied, humor warming her voice.

"I know your position is a dangerous one, but the darkspawn were not responsible for poisoning you," he said seriously, lips thinning in tempered anger.

"Poison?" she gasped in surprise.

"You…but you do you not remember?" Fergus asked, eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"No, of course not why would I …hold on. How long have I been out?" she asked in confusion.

"Nearly four days."

"That long?" she gasped, raising a hand to her forehead as she tried to wrap her brain around that.

"What is the last thing you recall?" he asked.

She thought long and hard, trying to piece together the events leading up to her excursion into the fade. Slowly, things began to come back to her.

"I remember sitting down to supper...I was still upset over our argument, so I wasn't really paying attention…I began to feel tired…exhausted really, but I assumed it was due to the strain of the day…" Here her thoughts began to grow murky, just as they had that evening. She concentrated hard, trying to relive that night in as much detail as she could, sifting through the memories for anything useful. "I excused myself before the end of the meal, but when I stood...I knew something wasn't quite right, but I couldn't put my finger on it…and then…"

Then she found herself in a strange place, not quite of this world, but not quite of the next. It was a place that was inherently alien, so completely other that it was impossible to describe its complexity to another. She couldn't say how long she was in that world. Time and space did not exist there…nothing did but the weightless, mindless sensation of simply being. And then afterwards…her personal, recurring nightmare brought to life by the demon that had trapped her there. She shuddered at the memory.

"And then?" Fergus prompted, reminding her of his presence.

"Nothing," she lied, refusing to worry her brother further by telling him of the weaknesses that ensnared her in the demon's trap.

Fergus took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Something in his expression told her he didn't quite believe her, but he let it go unremarked.

"Are you sure it was poison?" she asked him, head tilting in curiosity.

"Positive," he confirmed. "While Anders concentrated on healing you Zevran was quietly investigating the household. He discovered that the maid that served you your wine was an agent of Bann Esmerelle's. She confessed, and has since offered her life in exchange for the names of the other conspirators. We were waiting for you to recover before taking action."

"Good," Alyx replied with a curt nod. "I shall like to have a little 'talk' with this woman myself."

"I thought as much," Fergus said with a chuckle before his expression turned serious once again. "We have concealed her imprisonment in the attempt to keep word from leaking out to her masters, though no doubt by now they have realized the jig is up."

"Perhaps, but we cannot know that for sure," she said with a heavy sigh. "I suppose I got what I deserved. I've known of the conspiracy against me for some time now. Indeed, I suspected Esmerelle almost from the very beginning, but I had no evidence to convict her. Spiteful bitch," she spat with an indelicate snort.

"One of the many things you should have told me," Fergus muttered.

"Yes, well, this is not the first time someone has tried to have me killed and I doubt it shall be the last."

"That is…unsettling, sister," Fergus replied carefully.

"Oh, do not worry about me," she said as she leaned over and patted him on the thigh, a cheeky grin spreading across her face. "I'm harder to kill than an ogre with a toothache."

He rolled his eyes at her, but laughed despite himself.

"I pray that is true, for I cannot afford to lose you, too."

Alyx's expression immediately crumbled at his words, but he raised a hand and shook his head before she could respond. He sighed again, squeezing her hand between his own as he looked deep into her eyes. Her heart ached at the pain in his expression.

"I meant what I said earlier. I am sorry," He continued once he collected himself enough to speak. "I had no right to question your judgment or to behave so badly…especially in front of Jocelyn. I…you know my temper, pup. How could I not react in such a fashion without so much as a warning?"

Ah, so we are back to Nathaniel, she thought, though she was unsurprised at the change in topics.

"I know, Fergus, I know. I didn't expect anything less, truth be told. But that is the very reason I hesitated to tell you in the first place. Had I known that you were paying me a visit I would have forewarned you of Nate's presence here," she replied, doing her best to keep the judgment from out of her voice.

"Yes, well that was my wife's idea," he said, looking sheepish despite his words. "I wanted to send word but you know Leliana. Once she's set her mind to something…"

"Indeed,"Alyx replied with a chuckle. "And I am glad that you came to visit, despite the…er…obstacles."

Fergus grimaced at her choice of words, but let it pass unremarked.

"I will say this last thing, and then I will drop it all together," he said instead, uncrossing his legs and leaning heavily on his thighs. "I cannot help the way I feel. I will probably never be comfortable with the fact that there is a Howe in your household, but I will concede that I might have been wrong about his character. I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, but for your sake, not his."

Hmm, I wonder what made him change his mind, she mused, but did not vocalize her query.

"That is all I can ask," she said meaningfully. "I understand your trepidation brother, more than anyone else ever could, but he is a good man. Of this I could not be more certain."

"You…aren't…sleeping with him, are you?" Fergus asked hesitantly.

"Fergus!" Alyx gasped, trying not to laugh.

"Maker, tell me you aren't sleeping with him!" The pained look on her brother's face could only be described as comical.

"You hardly have a say in who I am or am not having intimate relations with, but no," she replied quietly. "No, I'm not sleeping with him."

"But you care for him," he pressed, squeezing her hand even tighter.

His insistence confused her but knowing her brother he wouldn't let it drop until he had her answer.

"I—"she began, but before she could finish her thought the door swung open.

"Well! Anders told me you were awake, but I'm glad to see it for myself," a familiar voice chimed from the doorway.

"Wynne!" Alyx cried in delighted surprise. "But what are you doing here? I thought you were in Nevarra!"

"That, my dear, is a very long story," Wynne replied with a chuckle as she crossed the room. She was carrying a tray brimming with an assortment of breakfast foods that made her mouth water in anticipation. Wynne chuckled again as Aly'x stomach audibly growled in response. "I thought you might be hungry."Here," she said as she placed the tray in Alyx's lap. "Eat, and I'll tell you the tale while you enjoy your meal."

"My thanks," Alyx replied gratefully as she breathed in the delectable aroma wafting up from the tray.

"You're more than welcome, my dear. Now, as for you," Wynne continued as she turned to face Fergus, hands on her hips akimbo. "Shoo! You can visit with your sibling again later. Alyxandria needs to regain her strength in peace."

Fergus let out a heavy sigh in mock disappointment as he stood.

"As you say my Lady mage," he said with a flowery bow.

He leaned over and kissed Alyx on the forehead before turning and surprising them both by placing a quick peck on Wynne's weathered cheek as well.

"None of that now, young man!" Wynne gasped as she playfully swatted at Fergus's arm. "Just wait until I tell your wife that you're so free with your kisses!"

"She already knows, my good woman, and still decided to marry me," Fergus replied with a shrug and a cheeky grin before walking past her and through the open door.

Wynne chuckled and shook her head in disbelief as she took Fergus's vacated chair.

"That brother of yours is an irascible flirt," she muttered.

"You love it and you know it," Alyx replied, amusement sparkling in her eyes. "Now, tell me why you're here and not off brow beating those pesky libertarians."

"Brow beating indeed," Wynne sighed. "I would have gone ages ago, but delay after delay kept me in Amaranthine. Now I see that it was the Maker's work, barring me from leaving when the greater need was here."

"But how did you know?" Alyx asked in confusion. "About my poisoning that is?"

"I didn't. The Howe boy found me at the docks just as I was about to board a ship and told me what had happened. I couldn't leave in good conscious, not without seeing you were alright for myself, so I agreed to come back with him. Poor lad. He rode hard, stopping only to change horses. Did Anders not tell you all of this?"

"I suspect he had other things on his mind," Alyx murmured, trying very hard to keep her thoughts focused on Wynne and not on this morning's 'chat' with Anders.

"Yes, I suppose he would. You gave him quite the scare," Wynne replied warmly, either not noticing her unease or choosing not to comment on it. "At any rate, I'm glad that I went with my instinct. Anders may be a talented healer, but he has little experience in dealing with the fade. Even had he the knowledge, there wouldn't have been enough mages on hand to send someone past the veil had I not been here…not without the use of blood magic anyhow."

"Thank you, Wynne. I can never repay you for being here when you could have easily continued on to Cumberland," Alyx said. "Will they be very angry with you?"

"The college? They have waited this long for me, they can wait a little longer," Wynne replied warmly as she squeezed Alyx's hand. "And you're very welcome, my dear, though your gratitude is unnecessary. I've long thought of you as more like a daughter than anything, and would never wish any harm to befall you."

"I've often thought the same," Alyx practically whispered as tears pricked at the back of her eyes. "There were times during the blight that I missed my mother terribly. Having you along gave me a comfort I hadn't realized I needed, and then everything you did for me…with Jocelyn..."

"Think nothing of it," Wynne replied with a dismissive wave of her hand, though her own eyes had a misted over. "You have done more for all of us than any one person could ever hope to repay. You, above any other I have met in my long life, are worthy of saving."

Alyx didn't know how to respond to her words. She didn't think she deserved Wynne's judgment of her, but she appreciated the thought despite her own personal opinions.

"Nathaniel must think very highly of you for him to seek me out as he did. The man went without rest or sustenance for days to ensure your survival," Wynne said, easily moving from one topic to another. "Then again, I shouldn't be very surprised. You gain loyalty as easily as a bird takes to flight."

"As easily as a chicken takes to flight perhaps," Alyx murmured in return, producing yet another chuckle from her old friend. "Where is he?"

"Nathaniel? I haven't seen him since I sent him off to bed last night. Don't look at me that way, child! The poor man was dead on his feet!" Wynne cried, making Alyx stifle a laugh. "I swear that young man is nearly as stubborn as you are!"

"More so," Alyx murmured.

"Perish the thought!"Wynne cried, but her eyes were sparkling with amusement. "I like him, Alyxandria. For what little that I've learned of him from our trip back to the Vigil, he seems like a fine young man. A little reserved, but certainly with all the qualities one would hope to find in a Grey Warden. Not many people would do what he did for you, without a second thought to his own well-being or reputation."

"Reputation?" Alyx repeated in confusion.

Wynne hesitated, but only for a moment.

"Leliana and Zevran both told me that the others believed that he was responsible for poisoning you."

"What? But why?" Alyx gasped.

"He left without leaving word as to where he was going or what he was about. Add the fact that he is well versed in poisons and a Howe and, well…I think you can see where this is going."

"Indeed," Alyx murmured. "Nathaniel is a man of action, not words. It would be just like him to do such a thing. It seems that I'll have to have a few words with my friends."

"Don't be too angry with them, dearest. Anyone would have thought the same given the evidence, and they don't know him as you seem to…just where do you think you're going young lady?" Wynne cried as Alyx put aside the food tray and swung her legs over the side of the bed.

"I have to find him, Wynne."

"But surely you can wait? No doubt he'll come calling once he hears that you're awake..."

"Not if he thinks I believe him responsible. Please, Wynne. Our friendship is precarious as it is," she pleaded.

"Oh, alright," Wynne said eventually with a sigh. "There's no use arguing with you, you'll do as you please anyway. Just take it slow and be careful. The moment you feel at all fatigued you come right back up to bed, you hear me young lady?"

"I hear you, Wynne, and thank you!" she said as she threw her arms around the older woman's neck.

"Alright, alright, that's enough of that now. Leliana was reading to Jocelyn in the study, I think I'll just head down there to join them. Perhaps you can stop by if you feel up to it? Your daughter has missed you sorely these past few days," Wynne said.

"Yes, of course. I'll be there shortly," Alyx replied distractedly, feeling guilty for not immediately asking after Jocelyn the moment she woke, but then again she had been preoccupied ever since her eyes had opened. She stopped what she was doing mid-action, chewing on her bottom lip as she silently weighed her options. She wouldn't have much more time with Jocelyn, but surely it would only take a minute to find Nate and thank him? Decision made, Alyx quickly dressed and with an air of determination, left to find Nathaniel.

*Muse Tunes: "Some Things Too Late, Others to Early" by Rachel Portman ("The Duchess OST); "Forrest Meets Forrest" by Alan Silvestri (Forrest Gump OST); "Sunrise on Lake Pontchartrain" by Alexandre Desplat (Curious Case of Benjamin Button OST)