Hi! ;-) Thank you for the reviews:
TheOnyxDragon12: You'll have to wait & see (that should be coming up soon…)
BowTies23: Thank you! ;-) I might not be able to update this weekend, but if I can't, then I'll give you an extra chapter or two next week.
lego lover 99: Thank you. ;-) … Do you have something against Danny? XD Everybody else is telling me notto kill him XD. Seriously, though, thank you for the idea/input. ;-)
WARNING: there are a few instances where some swearing does occur, twice when Nick Fury is yelling (whoops, spoiler).
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Ultimate Spider-Man. I DO own my OC Emmaline, the idea, and any poetry.
Chapter 10: June
"Perhaps strength doesn't reside in having never been broken,
But in the COURAGE
Required to grow strong in the broken places."
-unknown.
Emma's POV
Friday is 'graduation'. I don't go to school Tuesday. Nick doesn't say I have to go back, and I really don't want to ever step foot in that school again. Ava comes in on Tuesday night to visit me in the infirmary, and we have a long talk. About friends, about people. She tells me the secret that I can't tell anyone- about how hard it is to control the tiger inside of her, the way the beast within always wants to escape. In the end, she tells me it's my decision whether or not to come to graduation, but she thinks I should 'face my fear'.
So I decide to go, if only to the graduation. I don't feel like I've earned it, but I get my diploma on Friday. I'm on the A Honor Roll, too, even though I don't deserve that either. After the ceremony, I walk away and leave the others to their celebration. I didn't go to school for years, all I did was survive two months of twelfth grade, and I barely managed that. Nick messed around with some paperwork, though, so I guess I had enough credits to make it.
I'm fairly subdued the remainder of the day. Ava's proud of me, though, and I congratulate all my teammates, because they've worked hard for this, and really deserve it. Putting on my happy face for other people- this is new to me. I've never felt the need to pretend that I'm 'happy' for others' sakes, because there never was anybody else to pretend for.
I go to bed early, drained from all of the fake smiles. Waking up Saturday morning, I feel thrilled- I never have to face those other kids back there ever again. They're just people of the past, people that didsomething.
Happily, I get up and shower, finally glancing at the clock. Nine-fifty. Why do I feel as if I should be somewhere? Then I suddenly remember what I've been looking forward to all week- practicing with Danny! I'm supposed to meet him in his room at ten. I dash through the passageways, hoping I won't be late. When I finally reach his bedroom, I knock lightly at his door, patiently waiting for his answer, my heart leaping up to my throat.
"Yes?" I hear Danny answer.
"Um… this is Emma?"
"Oh, come in!" Carefully, I open my door, to see Danny sitting criss–cross on his rug, surrounded by incense.
"Sorry… am I interrupting you…?" I ask hesitantly.
Danny smiles warmly. "No. Do not worry. I was simply waiting."
"Am I late?"
He glances at the clock. "You are precisely two minutes early," he proclaims. On a more serious note, Danny asks, "How are you?"
I smile. "Happy that I don't have to go back there again."
"What are you going to college for?"
The thought that I should go to college hasn't ever occurred to me before now. "I- I haven't really thought about it yet," I admit. "What about you?"
Danny redirects his gaze to the ground. "I do not believe I will be going there." I frown.
"Why not?"
"I have other previously decided affairs planned."
"Oh," I say, not sure how to respond.
Danny looks up at me. "You seem… tired."
"I haven't been getting much sleep," I admit.
"Why not?" He's frowning again now.
"I've just been having this really disturbing dream, lately- every night, really. It's sad…"
"Oh?"
I sigh. "There's this little boy and his mother. It's freezing cold outside, and they're in the mountains somewhere, just the two of them. Then there's this pack of starving wolves and-and… they kill the mother. The little boy's all alone in the mountains, and his mother's torn apart right before his eyes. She scarified herself for him. It's just so sad…" I wring my hands. "The boy was only seven or eight… too young to see something like that. Too young to lose his mother." I swallow hard.
Danny is staring at me, his face ghostly pale. "What- what happened to the boy?" he whispers, his voice hoarse.
"I- I don't know. The dream didn't go that far. The last thing I remember is the wolves dragging her away, staining the snow with her blood. He was really young… I don't know… Danny, what's wrong?" I cry, as he sinks onto the bed.
Danny pushes me away. He seems to be struggling with something. At last, he stands, and takes a deep breathe in, avoiding my eyes. "Emma… how often do you have these dreams?" he asks softly.
I linger over his words, uncertain of where this is going. "Danny, I don't know- I used to have them all the time, this is the first one I've had since I came to S.H.I.E.L.D., I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, you-"
He cuts me off. "You do not know who this boy is? You do not remember the woman saying anything?"
The dream is still scarily vivid and fresh in my memory, but I shake my head. "It doesn't matter, the dream doesn't matter, I'm sorry-"
"Do your dreams ever come true? Are they ever events that should be locked in the past forever?"
My stomach plummets, and I whisper, "Yes." Just one word, but a word laden with so much meaning. "Danny, I'm so, so sorry, I shouldn't have said anything about it-"
Slowly Danny shakes his head and says, "No. Though some things are better left untouched, old wounds are bound to be reopened until they scar, unless you let them heal, accept them for what they are… It is my weakness, not yours, that is the problem. I am sorry, my friend."
Desperately, I try again. "Look, I don't know why these things happen, they just do, but it's my fault, they happen to me, I should be able to handle them." My voice drops. "Danny, who was that boy?" The tears are already in my eyes, I know what his answer will be, but that doesn't stop me from hating myself when Danny looks straight at me so I can see the hurt in his eyes.
"They both died on the same day. My father was shoved from the clifftop by his dearest friend and business partner, and we both watched helplessly in horror. The thief drove us away, hoping to find the mystical K'un L'un and its riches by himself. Yet it was I who was rescued by the lost city's warriors." Danny's words are so harsh and bitter, conveying his pain. "Tomorrow, the murder will celebrate its tenth anniversary.
"A decade," he continues, "Since I became alone in this world."
.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M .M.M.M.M.M.M.M.
That night, Danny isn't at dinner. We don't necessarily eat together, but everybody on the team (except Peter, of course, who lives with his aunt) eats around the same time, so we're usually all at the table together anyways. Ava and Luke notice, I can tell, but Ava sees the look on my face and continues eating, while Luke just raises his eyebrows. Sam, of course, can't be quiet about it.
"Where's the fortune cookie?" he demands obnoxiously.
"Shut up," Ava answers.
"Seriously, though, where's Danny?"
Stubbornly, I say, "He didn't feel like coming to dinner tonight, okay? I'm sure everyone's done that at some point."
"Eh, no, not really," Sam says. "Hope I don't catch whatever sickness he's got."
That's it. Slamming my food on the table, I storm out of the kitchen.
"Now you've done it, buckethead," growls Ava.
"What? What did I do?!"
"You idiot, you're so stuck in your own little world-!"
I don't stick around to hear the rest of the angry exchange, just walking to my bedroom and collapsing miserably on the bed, and staring at the ceiling until the darkness consumes me and I fall into some terrible state that could be considered 'sleep', for lack of a better term.
.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M .M.M.M.M.M.M.M.
Morning. Miserable morning. Why should I even get up? Oh, yeah. Because there's training today and Nick will kick my butt if I'm not there on time, I've caused enough trouble this week as it is. Hey, it's June first! New month- I can start going on missions!
When I finally get to the training room, I realize that the only other person here is Peter. It's an awkward wait, since all Peter does is throw dirty looks in my direction every so often, and there's no way that I'm going to talk to him, so I just stand there, utterly mute, fidgeting with some stray strands of hair.
The session itself is actually really easy. Danny doesn't show up the whole time, but nobody expected him to. As I'm leaving the arena, I see Nick waiting for me. "Come with me, Carlson."
In his office, Nick sits down in his chair, inviting me to take a seat across from him. Once I'm sitting, he starts talking. "Look kid, I don't know what the f*ck happened to you at that school, but you've got some explaining to do. I'd ask Rand, but after your talk yesterday and the anniversary being today, he's in no condition to talk to me."
I falter. "I- look, Nick, I get it! I lost control, okay?! There wasn't anything I could do, it was your stupid idea to send me to school as 'cover' anyways, like anybody else cared about my existence!"
"Other b*tches have been tracking you. You of all people should realize that you are a very valuable asset and somebody that no one wants as an enemy."
"You're talking as though I'm some great prize or something! I can't control myself even when I want to, why on earth would anybody want to be anywhere near me? Only an insane person like you would even consider it!"
"I'm not the only person who has taken you in. That's obvious. You've left behind a little trail of horror stories wherever you've stayed, and it's not too hard to get the truth out of these people. I'm in contact with Professor Xavier, kid."
I clap my hands over my ears. "DON'T SAY THAT NAME AGAIN! They couldn't help me, I can remember that much!"
"Kid- that's all that you remember."
"SO WHAT?!" I scream. "What if I don't WANT to remember those people anymore?! I don't want this to happen to me, Nick!"
"Suck it up, kid. You're not the only one who's lost their childhood."
"YOU CAN'T LOSE WHAT YOU NEVER HAD, AND I NEVER HAD A CHILDHOOD, NICK!"
"Calm down, already. You need to learn to control that temper. You're very defensive you know, you haven't given many people the chance to get to know you. Never had time to make friends?"
"TIME?! Nick, all I've ever had was the rush to keep myself from blowing everything up. I can barely make one 'friend', let alone keep him!"
Nick's face softens. "Look, Em, it's normal for-"
"NORMAL?!" I screech back. "I wish!"
He sighs, then says, "Now, you look. I can't help unless you let me." I quiet down, still bristling. "There. I get it, your life has sucked, okay? Kid, we all have ups and downs. You just gotta be a hero and quit threatening to blow this place up.
"You've had quite the life. Now, I need to know: what did you do back at the school?"
"Nick, I can't remember. There was just a bunch of energy, then a bubble, and I woke up in your infirmary. I don't remember losing control, just like I don't remember half my life."
Nick looks at me, as if to determine to what extent that I'm lying. "Fine. What did you do to Rand to get him so worked up?"
I cross my arms. "None of your business. You know his parents died today, but I'm sure he hasn't told you how?! Yeah, then just lay off!"
His eyes bulge angrily, but Nick knows there's no use in trying to reason with me. "Fine. So you won't answer any of my questions.
"I get that you're afraid of your mutation. You have to start using it in training, now, though. You can't hold off forever, and you don't even know your potential."
I know my potential just fine, thank you very much. Not that I can tell him that. Then he'd realize just what use I could be.
"Okay, then. Bye." I walk away, and I would have slammed the door, except it's the sliding kind that automatically open and shut if you're the right person.
I shouldn't have walked out on him, but I'm beyond caring. I've made Nick so mad at me anyways that it won't matter what I do now, unless I listen to his orders and use my 'power'- fine. I'll give him just what he asked for at training tomorrow.
Something tells me I'm going to regret this.
.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M.M .M.M.M.M.M.M.M.
Training on Monday. My biggest S.H.I.E.L.D. failure yet.
I shut down the whole stupid room. The program started, and everyone was there. Peter yelled at me to take out the control panel, since computers have this knack of either malfunctioning at my touch or doing what I wanted without me even pressing any more buttons.
This time, though, I tried to use my mutation to remove the power from the robots and shut them down. Apparently whatever I did was overkill, because the whole system just turned off, even the lights, so we were immersed in darkness, listening to Coulson swear at the microphone (which wasn't working either, but the vents carry sound very well).
Nick didn't call me to his office, though, so I guess that I did okay. Considering that this is me we're talking about.
Now I'm just messing around in my bedroom. Nick won't let me go to the library, so I don't have much to do. I stayed with Danny for a few hours on Saturday after I told him about the dream, not saying much, but just keeping him company. He's not mad, just sad, full of memories that he's pushed away all year. I hear knocking at my door. Sighing, I get up and open it. There is Ava standing in front of me. "Fury wants us to discuss battle tactics one more time with you, since you're going on missions from now on."
Everybody is in the 'meeting' room, waiting. The battle tactics aren't very interesting, but I should be glad that Nick's still letting me go. Suddenly, the door opens, and I immediately guess that Nick has changed his mind. There's one problem, though. This guy isn't Nick.
"Deadpool," Peter mutters. I can't see underneath his mask, but I can tell from his tone that he's angry.
"Miss me?" the guy laughs insanely.
Ava growls in her throat. Sam gapes, and Luke clenches his fists. Danny face-palms himself.
"What're you doing here?!" Peter says loudly, demanding an answer. "Stealing information from S.H.I.E.L.D. computers again? I don't think so!"
The guy- Deadpool?- cackles madly again, then responds, "Oh, no, my dear arachnid friend. I already pooled you! No, no, I've come for somebody else, another, better prize."
Then he swoops behind me, and yanks my head back, pressing the cold blade of a knife to my throat.
How's that? Not bad for 12:11 at night, right?
-FFS