Chapter Forty Five

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Blunt teeth, heat flushed cheeks that were red, blue eyes, and a few freckles scattered across his face. The bathroom mirror that was still clouded up with fog showed Danny as nothing more than just another human. Except… Except Danny could see where his canines were just a little bit too sharp - sharper than they had been a few years ago. He could see flecks of green in his eyes that shimmered no matter how much he tried to hide them behind his glasses. His red flushed cheeks had spots of blue that could just barely be seen, but… They could still be seen.

How much longer could he last like this? How much longer could he really last like this when he was being torn between worlds and bodies - between lives. Heh. Maybe that was the real reason as to why he had his ghost half torn out in that alternate timeline of his. Maybe it wasn't because he thought it would get rid of his grief and his obsession, but maybe it was so he could stop being torn between worlds. Maybe it was his ghost half who was supposed to take over and flourish and his human half who was supposed to wither away. If that was the case, then he had succeeded spectacularly.

The Vlad from that time hadn't told him much about it all, either. Some things are better left unsaid, he had said. He had looked away, too. Danny had never been able to tell if that was because that Vlad was lying or because he was showing too much grief that he didn't want seen.

Dan… A nightmare Danny couldn't seem to escape from and a nightmare that was torn between worlds, split between bodies, and twisted in the mind, yet, one had eventually won out. The world of the dead would always win against the world of the living. That was an inevitability.

Looking back to the mirror, Danny stared and… His hair was long. It took a moment for it to really sink in, but Danny's hair was long. It was easily long enough to be tied back if he wanted it to be. He was taller, too. The ghost portal had stunted his growth for a while, but he could tell he was taller than he had been at fourteen. He was definitely more bulked up than he had been at fourteen.

"I'm not turning into him." He was taller. His hair was longer. His teeth sharpened where they shouldn't. Flecks of ghostly energy swirled in his eyes- Green. Green, not red. Except they could be red. They could so very easily be red. "I'm not." His voice was deeper. The high cracks and whines from the last few years were finally tapering off and coming to an end and what was left behind was a deep voice that began to remind him-

A sudden burst of noise that sounded like shattering glass had Danny snapping his head up, surprised to see drops of green-flecked blood were falling into the sink, his clenched first buried in the middle of his now shattered bathroom mirror. Staring at the broken mirror as shards began to crack and clatter into the sink, Danny couldn't resist a laugh. Seven years bad luck, right?

Unclenching his hand, Danny stared at the shards of glass embedded into the skin, slowly picking them out after a moment of just staring. He could probably phase them out, but… No, this was for the best. Piece by piece and shard by shard and soon Danny's hand was covered in dried flecks of mixed blood, the skin completely knit back together.

He supposed there were some things even he couldn't control, his speed healing one of them. Rinsing his hand off quickly, Danny shook the water off before pulling a shirt on and grabbing a pair of scissors. "Hey, Jazz!"

"Yeah, Danny?" His door was opening before he could reach it, Jazz poking her head in and looking very serious and attentive. Danny was honestly a little concerned at how quick she was to respond - how much coffee had she had recently? Coffee didn't do much to ghosts, but it did a hell of a lot to Jazz. "Do you want to talk-"

"Cut my hair." Danny held the scissors out, eyes narrowed at Jazz's confused look. "Either I let you cut it and have it look somewhat decent, or I cut it myself-"

"No, no, no, I never said I wouldn't cut it. Just… Just surprised, is all. I thought you were trying to grow it out?" Jazz took the scissors before grabbing Danny's hand and pulling him along to her room, Danny feeling a bit better at seeing all the arrays of pinks and oranges. Some things didn't really change, he supposed.

"Not really." He hadn't minded it getting long, but then those comments from Spectra and the very idea that he could ever look like him- "Short just suits me better, I think."

"Agree to disagree," Jazz huffed, disappearing for a moment before coming back with a towel and throwing it around Danny's shoulders. "This is a travesty and a waste of hair."

"I'm not a girl, Jazz." The slap to the back of his head was probably deserved, Danny mused. "Come on, just chop it-"

"Hey, hair cutting is an art, little brother. Just calm down and let your big sister take care of everything." God, to think that Randy and Andrew had acted like that at one time. Danny felt like he should maybe bring that up to them just to see them squirm. It'd be mean of him, but it'd be fun. "Well?"

"Well what?" Had he asked a question? Had he said good instead of well? He felt like it was most likely the latter, but who even knew when it came to Jazz sometimes.

"Well, then, start talking! If I'm going to be your barbar then you should be opening up about everything and ranting about the men treating you wrong in life!" It was harder than it should have been to not laugh. Danny only managed such a feat because he heard the scissors snipping away behind him.

"Oh, it's just so awful. I feel underappreciated, undervalued, underlooked, and under them-" The tug to a lock of hair had Danny actually laughing before he settled back down after a moment. "Everything with Randy and Andrew is fine, Jazz." At least, on their end it was fine. Danny was the one who kept screwing everything up.

"Any chance they'll be asking for your hand in marriage soon?" Oh, she was never going to let that one go, was she- Oh. Ooh. Danny could- Now Danny could-

"I don't know, Jazz, any chance Clockwork will be asking for yours?" Silence. Wonderful, beautiful, peaceful silence.

"How are classes, then? I know you've been enjoying having 'Mr. Riter' teach at Casper." Winning was a beautiful thing, Danny decided. "You're horrible to him."

"He loves it." Sighing, Danny let Jazz tilt his head this way and that. "I'm fine, Jazz, just going through some stuff right now. I'll work it out. Don't I always?"

"Yes, well… Sometimes you need a bit of help." Silence. This time it wasn't as amusing. With each snip he heard and brush against his neck Danny could only think of Spectra's words and his appearance in the mirror and all those broken shards and they were sort of like him, weren't they? A bunch of broken shards that meant nothing but bad luck. "Are you talking to them about this?"

"I will." He just… He just needed a bit of time to figure out what to say. "I'm not fourteen anymore, Jazz, I can take care of myself when I need to."

"Yes, because sixteen is so mature." Without a doubt, Danny knew that he was flushing at Jazz's sharp tone. "You know, I could say a great deal of things about your age-"

"I'll be seventeen in less than a few weeks and I've known what I've been getting into for a long time. I think if I can put my life on the line to save this town then I can decide when I'm ready for sex."

The silence was heavy and awkward this time, Danny trying not to growl or say anything else. He knew Jazz was just helping, but dammit- Dammit. He had enough problems about the age gap between him, Andrew, and Randy without Jazz poking and prodding. He hadn't been lying. Andrew had waited as long as possible and it was Danny who had started the talk of sleeping together. If anything, Andrew was overly careful of him. Danny knew what he liked and knew what he wanted, even if others seemed to think he was 'too young'.

He had been the universe's plaything long enough that he knew just how unfair and shitty life was. He didn't see the point of waiting until he was 'a certain age' when he and his feelings weren't going to be changing. If anything, he was only more in love with the two - something that was part of the fucking problem.

The silence sharpened, Danny realizing that the scissors were being set down, Jazz's voice soft and quiet when she spoke, "Danny, I know you've been through more than most and I'm not trying to lecture you- Really, I'm not. I just… You can't do this all on your own, Danny."

Standing up and taking the towel off, Danny looked back at Jazz before turning and heading towards the door. "Yeah, well, I don't have much of a choice."

The doorknob bent under his hold.

::

Randy always found it amusing how he felt the cold even after dying. He would have thought that of all things the cold was something he would never have to worry about after death, yet here he was, shivering as he walked through a blizzard torn Amity Park. The cold was sharp and fierce and unforgiving and Randy could feel the ragged edges of pure ectoplasmic energy infused in the very air. It told him all he needed to know on whether or not Danny was using his powers.

It had been two days since his conversation with Andrew about waiting and five since the fight with Spectra and Randy was losing his mind trying to keep to himself and let Danny work this out on his own- The thing was, though- The thing was that he could feel it. It wasn't coincidence that Randy had found Danny and Spectra. It was the fact that Randy had felt Danny's fear even from a world away.

Randy liked to think he knew Andrew and Danny well. They were his obsession so how could he not? Even if he never admitted it and refused to tell them, they were everything to him. He knew them better than he ever would himself. He knew all their hopes and dreams and oh, he knew their fear so very well. Right now, Danny's fear felt as if it had drenched all of Amity Park.

While he had agreed to leave it, Randy had also told Andrew that he wouldn't stand by if Danny was in danger. This blizzard… It wasn't by choice. Danny would have no need to summon a blizzard like this. It was his core rebelling against the energy that was building up inside him- Fuck. Fuck. Randy had pushed Plasmius to explain so often but sweet, headstrong Danny never fucking listened.

A half-ghost was completely different from a regular ghost. With the average ghost or spirit there was a default amount of energy that the body produced. There wasn't a set limit because you could always draw ectoplasmic energy out of the air itself, but generally there was a default amount and that amount needed time to refill by sleeping, eating, or even just resting for a brief period of time. Half-ghosts were far, far different.

There was no default amount of energy for creatures like Plasmius, Danny, and even little Danielle. Their human forms constantly produced energy just by being alive and existing, and just like they could use their ghost powers when 'human', their ghost selves could use that 'human power.' Instead of the default amount the energy for them built up. That's why Plasmius was so powerful. He had let his energy build and kept it building for whenever he needed it. That's why Danny had been so weak when he first gained his ghost powers and why he, most likely, couldn't even transform in the first few weeks. There was no energy to his ghost self then.

That's why this - what Danny was doing - that's why it was so dangerous. There may not have been a set amount of energy for half ghosts but there sure as hell was a set limit. A human body could only handle so much and the power that filled Danny put a strain on him when he went too long without releasing it. It was one of the reasons Randy had insisted on giving him training sessions and the reason he was scouring Amity Park with a growing sense of desperation.

If Danny's energy was already spilling out of him then staying in his human form was just going to cause an even greater danger later on. That fear, too… Randy had felt Danny's fear all the way from Vidya. He had been hoping it would lessen as time went on, but today it had spiked and grown even worse.

"Argh!" Ah, Randy had finally found him, it seemed. "Why don't they just back off!" Oh, this conversation was not going to go well at all, was it?

"Funny how people worry, huh?" Randy dodged the snowball that went flying at him with extreme force, frowning as he felt the ectoplasm energy that drenched it. His energy was starting to latch onto anything attuned with his ice core, then. "Hey, hey, I'm unarmed."

There was a pause where Danny only stared at him with eyes that were more green than blue before he huffed and turned away with the start of a smile. "You're never unarmed."

"I mean, true, but that's still no reason to throw a snowball at my face." Gathering his energy, Randy took a step and appeared at Danny's side, keeping his flight ability close to the surface as he tried not to sink into the snow. "Jazz try to 'help' again?"

"More like always," Danny growled, Randy shuddering at just how deep the teen's voice was getting. It definitely wasn't unappreciated. A sudden jerk from Danny and Randy scrambled to catch him as the teen fell face-first into his chest. "They're stupid."

"Siblings usually are- No, no, no, I don't want to hear anything from you that you have to add onto that." Randy was quick to cover Danny's mouth, pleased at the smile he felt pressing against his palm and the tired amusement that was dancing along the edges of his fear. "Hey, why don't we go back to Vidya-"

A flash and Danny was suddenly a few feet away and staring at him with that fear shining so clearly in his eyes- Fuck, Randy wasn't even sure if Danny had ran or teleported with how much that fear had knocked him off balance. Taking an unsteady breath, Randy prayed for the storm to cover his unbalanced emotions. "No hot chocolate, then?"

"N- No, I just- I don't want to bother Andy when he's grading homework right now. We, um, we can go back to my place, if you want?" Oh, Danny. Even his lies were coated with terror.

"Danny… You know I love you, right?" The confusion was clear, Danny slowly and hesitantly nodding. "Good, because you're about to hate me, but we need to talk-"

"No." The storm around them howled and echoed Danny's anger and fear so perfectly. "Not you too- I'm fine. I'm coping-"

"The giant blizzard around Amity Park says otherwise!" Randy so badly wanted to stay calm and soothe Danny down, but- His anger and fear were so overwhelming. "Your energy is soaking the air-"

"I'm not even using my powers!" God, he didn't even know. "I haven't used my powers since that fight with Spectra!"

"That's exactly the problem!"

"I'm just trying to do what everyone wants and be more human! Why can't you be happy for me that I'm trying to be what I should! Isn't that what you want? For me to be normal." God, they had failed this teen so badly if that's what he thought they wanted from him.

"The only thing I want from you is for you to be happy. That's obviously not the case when you look as if you're ready to fall apart the moment someone touches you."

"I'm fine." Fine? Fine? The teen was shaking in fear- No. No, he wasn't shaking in fear. He… He was cold. Except that couldn't be because Danny wouldn't be able to feel the cold in any of his forms unless his core started to destabilize-

Randy was teleporting the two of them to Vidya between one breath and the next, panicked and terrified enough that he dragged a good deal of the snow and wind with him as they swirled into Vidya. He heard Danny hit the floor across from him with a curse, Randy knocked off balance himself by the sharp changes in the atmosphere alone.

"Wha- Danny? Randy? Why is there snow everywhere- How many times have I told you not to teleport snow into Vidya!" Andrew's worry and concern slammed into him the exact same moment that Danny's fear drowned him.

"Take me back, Randy, take me back now." There was nothing but panic and fear in those words and even Andrew noticed. Randy watched as the man hurried over to help Danny up, Danny jerking away. "I'm fine, I just need to go back to Amity now. I swear to god, Randy-"

"You were shivering." Seeing Danny ready to blow up at him again, Randy straightened himself and took a few steps forward, no thought in how threatening he was being and instead just so angry at Spectra for doing this to his mate. "You are an ice core. You do not shiver unless your core destabilizes."

"I'm fine! How many times do I have to tell you all that I'm fine before you start to believe me!" Danny near screamed in rage, spinning around to look at Andrew. "Andy, tell him-" Danny's words stopped just as Randy's breathing did.

There was so much fear.

Fear of Danny.

"Andy…" Danny's voice finally reflected the fear that had been building up inside him moment by moment, Randy shaking as Andrew and Danny's fear grew and grew and he could do nothing. "Andy, tell him-"

"You idiot child." The silence in Vidya was deafening- It felt like it was choking him. "Do you know nothing of what you are?" Their fear felt like fire against his skin and it burned- Why did it feel like it was burning- "You know nothing about your powers. You haven't used them in days and energy for you builds, Danny. It builds. Do you know how much danger you are in right now? Do you even realize!"

The only sound was Randy's words, loud and sharp and deadly. "You idiot." Why didn't he see- Why did Spectra have to attack- Why was Andrew so afraid- Why, why, why why whywhywhy "You know knowing of what you are and that is going to be your death, Danny. Your power builds and builds an what happens when pressure builds and it has nowhere to go, Danny? What happens! Something's going to give and something is going to have to break-"

"Oh, trust me, that something broke a long, long time ago." Danny's voice was soft and ragged, sharp with anger and hatred and the worst thing was that all of it was aimed at Danny himself. Teeth as sharp as knives that cut no skin but his own. "Why did I ever think you two would be able to understand?"

"N- No, Danny, we-" Andrew's words shook in fear and guilt, the man reaching out and snagging the end of Danny's scarf as he started to turn away. "Danny, please-"

"If even you're afraid of me then what's the point?" Danny's voice was whisper soft but the energy that poured off of him felt as if it was screaming.

An exhale of power and Phantom was gone from Vidya, Andrew left standing in the middle of the room with the worn grey scarf dangling from his grip.

::

No, no, no, no, no no nononono it wasn't supposed to be like this. He had been trying so hard to be normal- To be human! Look where that got him! Andrew- God, Randy had screamed at him and tore him down to nothing and he was right. He was nothing but a stupid child that was in way over his head and didn't realize a thing of what was really going on- Andrew-

Andrew.

Andrew had looked at him and there had been nothing in his eyes but fear. Danny knew fear. He knew what it looked like on a face, in someone's eyes, in their very words. He knew fear so well, but he never thought that Andrew would be afraid of him- God, was he really- How could he not? The only- The only one who had ever inspired fear to that degree had been him.

Danny didn't want to be here. Danny didn't want to be here. He wanted to be gone. Anywhere. He didn't care. He just couldn't handle- Ghost Zone, human world, it didn't matter he just wanted to be anywhere else-

The sharp feel of static bursting across his skin was the only thing that registered before it was pain that exploded across his body and stole his ability to even scream. For a moment his thoughts spun as he tried to figure out what happened, darkness the only thing he could see and bright lights around him letting him know he had snapped back into his human form- Why was he so tired all of a sudden? He couldn't have used all of his energy that quickly- He had been flying pretty fast, but not fast enough for something like that to change him back. God, everything hurt. It felt like he had just flown into another brick wall. He was really sick of flying into walls.

Throwing his senses out as far as he could, Danny shifted and wiggled to try and sit up, panic hitting him when he couldn't. It took longer than he would have liked to realize that he was buried under mounds of books- Crashed. He had crashed into bookshelves, but… He wasn't in the Ghost Zone. There was no feeling of ambient ghostly energy surrounding him and dancing across his skin. There was nothing but the dull, lifeless air of the human world.

So how did he get from the Ghost Zone to the human world? He didn't teleport- Randy might have been able to do that through some weird trick of his, but Danny couldn't teleport between worlds. The only way to do anything like that was making portals and Danny… A portal. He- He must have found a natural forming one and went through it when he wasn't paying attention. Yeah. Yeah- That had to be it.

Because the ability to form portals was a power that he didn't have- A power that he didn't want to have. He couldn't have that power because he had tried- It's not like he just got random powers anymore! He couldn't have it. He could never have it because Dan had it. Danny didn't, though. He couldn't. He couldn't do that. He couldn't-

"Bloody hell, are you alright?" The unfamiliar voice had Danny stilling and calming his breathing to near nothing, listening fiercely as he felt books starting to be pushed off of him and, oh. Someone was helping him.

"I, ah, yeah." Wincing as another few books toppled onto his back from above, he couldn't stop a laugh as the man helping him loudly cursed.

"Sorry, sorry, just hold on, okay?" At least it seemed the man hadn't noticed a ghost crashing and a human appearing. "Alright. I'm going to lift this shelf. When I do, I want you to move back."

"Got it." Waiting until he felt the pressure suddenly lift, Danny scrambled back and tumbled over the small pile of books that was surrounding him. Landing on his back and staring at the ceiling, Danny sighed as he took stock of himself. Nothing seemed to be broken, at least- God, he couldn't even run away right. He couldn't do anything right.

"Are you alright?" Weird, the guy talking sounded as if he had a British accent. Hm, must be a foreigner. Natural portals tended to gather around the Fenton Portal, moreso now that Vlad had moved to Amity Park. "That looked like a pretty nasty crash."

"Yeah, I, ah, I wasn't really watching where I was going and I was sort of in a panic." Pushing himself up, Danny gave as best a smile as he could considering everything that had happened, trying to cover up his pain as the man knelt down across from him. "Thanks for- Ah…"

"Helping? It wasn't much of a problem." The laughter disguised as a huff of breath was more familiar to Danny than anything else. "What on earth had you so panicked that you knocked over two bookshelves, though?"

"I… I got lost." In front of him was a man with jet black hair, an unkempt goatee, soft green eyes, and a worn grey scarf wrapped around his neck. "I got… I got very, very lost."

A completely human Andrew Riter curiously looked at him with no recognition in his gaze.