Weekend at Bobby's Part 1

The news was playing on TV.

"Yesterday this Galveston shoreline was being pounded by ten-foot swells and winds up to 150 miles per hour…" the reporter said. "But today, well, there's not a cloud in sight. Hurricane Tiffany has broken up over the gulf."

Bobby was working on some sort of magical ritual. He cut his palm and added his blood to the ingredients in a large bowl.

"Et ad congregandum…Eos coram me." Bobby chanted.

Bobby lit a match and set the ingredients in the bowl alight. Crowley appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"Been making merry, have we?" Crowley asked.

"Bite me." Bobby snarled.

"If that's your thing." Crowley shrugged. He snapped his fingers to turn off the TV. "That swan dive of Sam's was a thing of beauty. Tens all the way around. Standing ov from the Romanian judge. You should be proud, Bobby. As deaths go, it wasn't too shabby. Cheer up, mate, we just saved the sodding world together. Me, I've been celebrating."

"I'd hate to see what you call celebrating," Bobby replied.

"Yes, you would." Crowley nodded.

Bobby lifted a bottle of alcohol and offered to Crowley. "Drink?"

Crowley looked at the bottle, appalled. "No!"

Bobby poured himself a drink. "Let me get this straight—we just 'saved the sodding world together'." He mocked. "And you're too good to drink with me?"

"Obviously." Crowley shrugged. "I doubt that you have my brand."

"What's your poison, your highness?" Bobby raised a brow.

Crowley breathed deeply. "Craig. Aged 30 years at least. I've been drinking it since grade school."

"Well, I got old rotgut aged 6 days," Bobby replied before taking a drink.

"Swill like that is gonna burn a hole in your soul—oops sorry, my soul," Crowley said. "But that's why you called. Our little deal."

"Yeah, well, it's about time you hold up your end and give it back." Bobby glared.

"Give it back?" Crowley raised a brow.

"Our deal was, we ice Lucifer, you rip up the lease." Bobby reminded.

Crowley smirked. "Oh." He turned away from Bobby. "You didn't read your contract."

Bobby narrowed his eyes. "The hell you talking about, contract?"

Crowley turned toward Bobby, snapped his fingers and pointed. Bobby writhed in pain as writing appeared on his body.

"Paragraph 18, subsection B, which is on your naughty bits—I only have to make 'best efforts' to give you back your soul," Crowley explained.

"Meaning what?" Bobby glared.

"Meaning…" Crowley made a straining gestured and sighed. "I'd like to—but I can't."

"You lying sack of—

"Ten years." Crowley walked towards Bobby. "You come to daddy. Until then, I suggest you start drinking the good stuff."

"I figured you'd say that," Bobby replied. "So you can rot here till you change your mind."

"Why? 'Cause you asked nicely?" Crowley sassed.

Bobby shook his head. "No." He walked past Crowley to the back of the room. "'Cause I'm going Dateline on your ass." He turned off the light, revealing a devil's trap painted on the floor in glowing paint.

Crowley looked around. "I hope that's paint. Really." He sighed. "What am I going to do?"

Bobby turned towards the kitchen to walk away and Crowley let out a sharp whistle. Crowley's hellhound growled. Bobby grimaced as the hellhound breathed on his face.

"Doggie breath," Crowley said. "Bracing, isn't it?"

Bobby gulped and turned towards Crowley.

"Ball's in your court, Robert," Crowley smirked. "Ten years of living or ten years as Alpo."

Bobby looked in the direction of the growls and back at Crowley. Bobby looked at Crowley in disgust. Crowley just smirked happily as Bobby opened his pocket knife and approached the circle. Bobby scraped the paint, breaking the seal and setting Crowley free.

"This ain't over." Bobby held his knife in a threatening manner.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Crowley replied. He walked out of the trap and paused in front of Bobby. "Happy hunting." He said before leaving.

~/~\~

Children were playing on the playground and not far away Dean was examining a body with a large hole in its chest.

"No EMF." Sam shook his head.

"Find anything in there?" Angela asked.

Dean took off his glove and dropped it on the ground. "Yeah, I've got some kind of claw." He picked up the claw from the ground.

"What in the hell has a claw like that?" Sam frowned.

Dean shrugged, pulling out his phone. "That is a good question." He said before making a call.

After a few rings, Dean was still waiting for Bobby to answer the phone. He looked at Sam and Angela, who just shrugged.

"Maybe he's in the can," Sam said.

~/~\~

The phone was still ringing. Bobby entered the house from the kitchen back door, wiping his hands. He tossed the towel and answered the phone.

"Yeah?" he greeted.

~/~\~

"What happened, you fall and can't get up?" Dean joked.

"Hilarious," Bobby replied sarcastically over the phone. "What's up?" Bobby asked.

"We're in Wisconsin," Dean replied. "Six bodies, chests cracked wide open. No EMF, no sulfur, no hex bags." He added. "We did find this though—hold on." He took a picture of the claw. "Alright, check your wagon."

~/~\~

Bobby watched as the image downloaded from his email.

His brows shot up. "That's a new one."

"Yeah. We need an ID, ASAP." Dean replied. "This thing is on a rampage. Call us as soon as you dig something up."

Bobby looked anxious. "Dean, I'm a little busy."

"Well, then kick Bo Derek out of your bathtub," Dean replied. "We gotta case here."

Bobby shook his head. "I'll call you back." He said before hanging up.

Bobby started his research and started getting frustrated. "Balls!" he slammed the book shut.

~/~\~

Bobby was driving and passed his neighbor, who waved at him. Bobby waved back. He drove to Sioux Falls University Library, but it was closed. Bobby sighed and looked inside. Bobby then went around back and broke a window to get inside. Bobby climbed in the window and fell inside.

"Balls!" he yelled.

Bobby went back to the car with a book. He tried to start the car, but the engine wouldn't start.

"Come on." He groaned. "Come on." He repeated, trying the engine one more time. "Balls."

~/~\~

Bobby made it back home at 1:07 AM and did more research. The clock on his desk ticked over. Bobby started to nod off. The clock read 2:47 AM and kept ticking to 3:02 AM when Bobby woke with a start. He took some pills and drank coffee to keep going.

~/~\~

Bobby was still at his desk at 5:09 AM. He called Dean.

"You're hunting a Lamia." He yawned.

~/~\~

Dean and Angela were eating take-out food. Dean had Bobby on speaker.

"Come again?" Angela raised a brow.

"It's a monster," Bobby replied. "Juices hearts and chugs the blood." He sighed. "Never heard of one popping up outside of Greece though."

Dean got up. "Yeah, well, looks like this freak is immigrating. It's snacking on cheeseheads."

"How do we kill it?" Angela asked.

Bobby yawned. "There's a couple of ways. Easiest is a silver knife blessed by a Padre."

"Gotcha," Dean said through a mouthful of food. He hung up the phone.

~/~\~

Bobby looked at the receiver and spoke to the dial tone. "You're welcome." He muttered before hanging up.

"Hey, I'm still here!" a female voice yelled.

Bobby walked downstairs to the panic room.

"Hey there, cranky." The demon smirked. "You were gone so long, I just assumed alcoholic coma."

"Where were we?" Bobby asked.

"Your soul." The demon purred.

"Right." Bobby nodded. "Talk."

"Look at you, all in a rush. Foreplay…" she trailed off, uncrossing her legs and recrossing them. "…gets you more play."

"I want Crowley's name," Bobby replied. "His real name, back when he was flesh and blood."

The demon tilted her head. "Does tying up demons in your basement make you feel better about that time that you killed your wife?"

Bobby picked up a bag and brought it over to the demon.

She eyed the bag. "What's that?"

"You don't recognize them?" Bobby raised a brow. "They're yours." He placed the bag in a large metal tub. He lit a flamethrower.

"It won't work." The demon replied. "It's a myth."

Bobby looked at the flame. "Then you got nothing to worry about." He pointed the flames over the metal tub.

The demon screamed in pain. Bobby lowered the flamethrower after a few moments.

The demon gasped in pain. "I can't."

Bobby made the flamethrower higher again over the tub. The demon screamed. Bobby lowered the flamethrower.

The demon's flesh was burned. "You don't know what he'll do to me."

"Right now you better worry about me." Bobby glared.

"You don't get it." She tried. "He's the King."

Bobby burned her again. "King of the Crossroads. I've heard the speech."

The demon groaned in pain. "No." she replied. "King of Hell."

The doorbell rang. Bobby blew out the pilot of the flamethrower. The doorbell rang again.

"You gonna get that or what?" the demon glared.

~/~\~

Bobby walked to the front door as the bell rang again. Bobby looked through the peephole and saw his female neighbor holding something and arranging her hair. Bobby checked his breath and tried to straighten his clothes a bit before opening the door and stepping onto the porch.

~/~\~

Bobby looked around. "Marcy."

"Bobby Singer." She smiled. "How long have we been neighbors?"

"Six months?" Bobby guessed.

"Well, don't you think it's time you welcomed me to the neighborhood?" she offered the tray to Bobby and uncovered it. "My famous ginger peach cobbler."

Bobby looked at it, then at Marcy.

"Take a whiff." Marcy nodded to the dessert. "Seriously, I'm a genius."

Bobby sniffed, rolled his eyes and smiled. Marcy also smiled. Marcy heard the demon screaming for help. Bobby closed the door slightly.

"It's stupid horror flicks." Bobby shrugged. "Guilty pleasure."

"I love scary movies." Marcy grinned. "Have you seen 'Drag Me To Hell'?"

Bobby paused awkwardly. "Trying to avoid it."

"But it's fantastic." Marcy gushed. She took a deep breath. "Saturday, seven o'clock, my house. I'll fix you dinner and I'll whip up a batch of my famous white chocolate popcorn and we'll watch it. Deal?"

Bobby looked down. "That sounds super, Marcy, but uh—

"Okay, no worries." Marcy shrugged. "Um, hey, one other thing. Uh, my wood chipper—it's a piece of crap, you know. It just broke down on me and—and I hear that you're quite handy. Maybe you could come over and take a look. You know, just whenever—

"Yeah." Bobby smiled. "I'll see what I can do."

Marcy smiled, pleased. "Okay."

The two looked at each other, then shook hands.

"Well, okay…" Marcy held Bobby's hand for a little longer. "Okay, I'll see you soon."

Marcy waved goodbye. She and Bobby turned to leave, each looking back at the other a few times. Bobby closed the door and smiled at the cobbler in his hands.

~/~\~

Bobby walked down the stairs to the basement.

"Aww. She sounds nice." The demon smirked. "Are you going to make sweet love to her before you stab her to death, Bobby? That is your usual thing, right?"

Bobby aimed the flame at the metal tub and the demon started screaming again.

"I want Crowley's name now!" Bobby yelled as the demon screamed. "Crowley's name!"

The demon started whimpering. "Okay, okay." She said as Bobby took the flame off the tub. "MacLeod. Fergus MacLeod. I swear. We call him Lucky the Leprechaun behind his back."

"MacLeod's Scottish, Einstein." Bobby sassed.

"You got what you want, now send me back." The demon replied as Bobby grabbed a can of lighter fluid and soaked what was in the tub. "No!" she pleaded. "We had a deal."

"I gave it my best effort." Bobby glared.

"No!" the demon screamed as Bobby torched the items in the tub.

~/~\~

The phone rang. Bobby checked the caller ID and answered.

"Yeah, Garth, what do you got?" he asked. "Never heard of a vamp doin' that. It doesn't sound like our kind of thing. Better drop a dime on the FBI."

Bobby hung up the phone and placed it back on its charger. Another phone labeled 'FBI Tom Willis' rang.

"Willis, FBI." He greeted. "No, Garth, not me, the FBI." He groaned. "The real FBI! How are you still alive?"

Bobby hung up the phone and another line rang. It was labeled 'CDC Frank Castle'.

"Yeah, Castle." He greeted.

Another line rang.

"Yeah."

There was another call.

"Willis." Bobby sighed.

Bobby was trying to do some work and the phone rang again.

"Uh huh," Bobby said. "Of course she's one of ours. And if she says she's got to dig that grave up, you better damn well let her."

Bobby hung up the phone labeled 'Police Pete Lovell'. Bobby tried to take a sip of coffee and other line rang. Bobby looked bored listening to the caller, then hung up. Bobby was reading and drinking his coffee when he heard banging on his door. Bobby got up to answer the back-kitchen door. It was Rufus Turner.

Rufus was out of breath. "Oh, good, you're home! Listen. You gotta help me bury a body."

Bobby stared in disbelief, then rolled his eyes.

~/~\~

Bobby was walking with Rufus.

"Why'd you bring it here?" Bobby asked.

"The law is on my tail!" Rufus defended. "What was your guess?" he shrugged. "What, what, what? They got lucky."

"Yeah, or you're getting slow." Bobby joked.

"Yeah, I'm getting slow—says mister sits on his ass all day taking calls." Rufus retorted.

Bobby and Rufus reached Rufus' truck. Rufus lowered the tailgate and uncovered the body of an Asian woman. Rufus gestured at the body.

Bobby looked at the body. "Vamp, shifter—what?"

"None of the above," Rufus replied. He pulled the lips on the body back to expose the teeth and looked over at Bobby.

"Okami?" Bobby raised a brow. "Where'd you shiv it?"

"Get this. Billings." Rufus said, closing the mouth of the monster.

"The only time I ever saw one of these was in Japan," Bobby replied.

"Duh," Rufus said. "No one's ever seen one of these except in Japan."

"For what it's worth, Sam, Dean and Angie are tracking a Lamia in Wisconsin." Bobby shrugged.

"Get out," Rufus replied. "I thought they never leave Greece."

Bobby shook his head slightly. "Monsters lately. Is it me, or is it weird?"

"Yeah well, it's definitely something," Rufus replied. His head snapped up. "So, you got a shovel?"

Bobby used a mechanical digger to dig a hole. Rufus stood by with a shovel, watching Bobby operate the machine.

"Man, I know what I want for Hanukkah," Rufus commented.

Bobby and Rufus approached a deep, rectangular hole in the ground. Rufus dropped the body into the hole and they started filling the hole back up.

"So the son of a bitch's name is Fergus MacLeod?" Rufus raised a brow.

"That's the son of a bitch's name," Bobby confirmed.

Rufus raked the dirt over the ground. "Where are you gonna look?"

Bobby rested on the shovel and looked at Rufus. "Scotland," Bobby replied. "Crowley let slip that he likes Craig. It's, uh—

Rufus stopped raking. "It's scotch. Only made and sold in a tiny area on the north tip of Caithness county." Rufus said. "It's peaty and sharp, with a long finish of citrus and tobacco notes." He added before he went back to raking. Rufus noticed Bobby staring at him and stopped. "I know what Craig is."

"Well, I got a hunch that that's where Crowley lived and died back when he was a human, a few hundred years before he got the big squeeze in hell and came out a demon," Bobby explained.

"You know I've got contacts over there," Rufus commented. "I could make a few calls."

"Well, I ain't askin' for no help," Bobby replied defensively.

"I ain't askin' for your permission." Rufus retorted.

Rufus and Bobby smoothed over the dirt.

~/~\~

Bobby was about to cut a piece of the cobbler when the phone rang. Bobby put down the knife and walked over to the phone.

"Yeah." He greeted.

~/~\~

"What's another way to kill a Lamia?" Dean asked frantically.

"Well, what happened to the silver knife blessed by a priest?" Bobby's voice was heard from the phone.

There was a dead priest at Dean's feet. "That didn't pan o,t." Dean replied. "What's plan B?"

Sam and Angela were tossed into pillars. Dean winced.

Angela groaned in pain.

"Dean." Sam groaned as he and Angela were pulled away from the pillar.

~/~\~

Bobby was looking in a book and he heard knocking on the front door.

"Police!" someone yelled.

"Balls!" Bobby muttered.

~/~\~

"Come on Bobby, get the lead out!" Dean rushed.

~/~\~

Bobby was looking through the book. "Where are you?"

~/~\~

"In a church." Dean said. "In a rectory."

~/~\~

Bobby was still looking through the book. "Is there a kitchen?"

"Yeah," Dean said over the phone.

"Find salt…" Bobby started.

~/~\~

Dean was scoping out the kitchen listening to Bobby with the creature's growls in the background.

"And rosemary," Bobby explained over the phone.

~/~\~

Bobby raised his head at the pounding at his door.

"Open up, Singer!" the voice yelled.

~/~\~

Sam and Angela were being tossed around in the kitchen while Dean, still on the phone with Bobby, searched the cabinets for salt and rosemary.

~/~\~

At Bobby's front door were Sheriff Jody Mills and a man in a suit.

Bobby, still on the phone, opened the door and the man flashed an FBI badge at him.

"Mr. Singer. I'm Agent Adams." He said before putting away the badge. "I believe you know Sheriff Mills."

~/~\~

Dean was still searching the kitchen cabinets.

~/~\~

Bobby gestured that he would be with Agent Adams and Sheriff Mills in a moment.

"My mom." He said. "Just a sec." he added as he turned to walk into the study.

~/~\~

Dean was still looking in the cabinets and he got excited.

"Rosemary!"

~/~\~

"I got it!" Dean said over the phone.

Agent Adams and Sheriff Mills followed Bobby into the house.

"Great, great. Now blend the herbs." Bobby instructed.

~/~\~

Dean was pouring the salt into a bowl.

"Sautee over a high heat and cook well," Bobby explained over the phone.

Dean dropped his phone and tossed the mix at the Lamia. It screeched. Dean pulled the stove away from the wall. The Lamia tossed Sam and Angela into a corner.

"Sammy! Angie!" Dean yelled as he tried to light his lighter. "Fire in the hole!"

Dean was using the gas line as a makeshift flamethrower and aimed it at the Lamia. Sam and Angela shielded themselves in the corner. The creature screamed.

~/~\~

"Okay. Great. Great." Bobby said. "Enjoy the roast, Mom."

Bobby hung up the phone and turned to see Agent Adams and Sheriff Mills standing behind him.

Agent Adams had a sketch in his hand. "Have you seen this man?" he asked. "Rufus Turner, aka Luther Vandros, aka Ruben Studdard."

Bobby shook his head. "No, I've never seen that dick."

Agent Adams raised a brow. "How do you know he's a dick?"

"Lucky guess." Bobby shrugged.

Sheriff Mills rolled her eyes.

"Funny." Agent Adams replied. "'Cause I got a couple of guys working the highway said they saw him pull in here. Carrying a body."

"Well, that's ridiculous," Bobby replied. "Look, it's a workday, I gotta…"

"I just want to take a look around." Agent Adams interrupted.

Bobby took two steps in Agent Adams' direction. "You got a warrant, sonny?"

Agent Adams walked towards Bobby, getting in his face. "Well, do I need one, sir?"

The two stared at each other for a few moments.

Sheriff Mills patted both men on the chest. "Okay fellas, put the rulers away. Zip up." She said. "Look, Bobby here is kind of a…crank." She explained to Agent Adams. "And he ain't what you call a fan of big brother, but me and him…" she trailed off, looking at Bobby. "How long I been arresting you now? Ten years?"

"Thereabouts." Bobby shrugged.

"Yeah, we got history, so…what do you say just let me scope the place out?" she looked up at Agent Adams. "That okay? You could just wait outside."

Agent Adams looked at Sheriff Mills then turned for the door. "Five minutes."

Sheriff Mills watched Agent Adams go outside. She turned back to Bobby.

"Why did you send him outside?" Bobby asked.

"'Cause I didn't think you'd want him in here." Sheriff Mills replied obviously.

"I don't." Bobby agreed. "I've got a body in the basement."

"My point."

"Yeah, but I've also got another body buried in the yard," Bobby admitted.

Sheriff Mills went wide-eyed. "Dammit." She muttered. She went to the front door to look outside, then looked at Bobby. "He's not there."

Bobby let out an irritated sigh. "Balls!"

~/~\~

Sheriff Mills and Bobby walked outside and found Agent Adams.

"Mr. Singer, come with me, please." Agent Adams said.

Bobby and Sheriff Mills exchanged a look, then followed Agent Adams. He stopped in front of a now empty hole where Rufus and Bobby buried the Okami.

"Do you mind explaining this?" Agent Adams raised a brow.

"What, you never had a septic tank explode on you?" Bobby replied. "I got it pretty well cleaned up, but watch where you step."

Agent Adams checked the bottom of his shoes.

~/~\~

Rufus was driving while on the phone with Bobby.

"Get back here!" Bobby yelled over the phone.

"Get back—I'm two states over, Bobby," Rufus replied. "I can't."

~/~\~

"The Okami ain't dead," Bobby said, carrying a large bag.

"Of course it is," Rufus replied over the phone.

Bobby pulled various knives out of the bag. "Did you use a bamboo dagger?"

"Yeah," Rufus replied.

"Blessed by a Shinto priest?" Bobby asked.

"I'm not an imbecile, Bobby." Rufus sighed.

"Did you stab it seven times?" Bobby pressed.

There was a pause on the other line. "Five times," Rufus answered.

"It's seven!" Bobby said, exasperated.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's five," Rufus argued.

"Well, clearly it's seven times," Bobby replied. "The damn hole is empty. What was it feeding on when you found it?"

"Single white females while the slept," Rufus answered.

Bobby went wide-eyed.

~/~\~

Marcy was getting ready to go to bed. She closed an open window and locked it. She turned to go down the hall. Marcy locked the front door as something watched her from the kitchen. Suddenly, Bobby kicked in the door. Marcy screamed.

"Bobby?" she asked, wide-eyed.

"Where's your bedroom?" Bobby asked, out of breath.

Marcy, still in shock pointed the way and Bobby ran down the hall. Bobby pushed open the door and checked under the bed. As Bobby continued searching the room, Marcy walked in.

"Bobby, I'm trying to keep my cool but, what are you doing in my house with a shotgun?" Marcy asked.

Bobby stopped searching to look at Marcy. "Have you seen anything…weird?"

Marcy raised a brow. "You mean besides you?"

Marcy's eyes wandered up to the corner of the ceiling and she gasped. Bobby followed her gaze to the corner behind him and the Okami pounced on him. The Okami wrestled with Bobby and tossed him out the window. The Okami then turned to Marcy, who quickly backed out of the room, closing the door. The Okami went out the same window Bobby did. Bobby was just getting up and the Okami lunged at him again, but Bobby sidestepped, and it crashed into a tree. Bobby tried to keep it pinned against the tree but the Okami punched him and he flew backward. He hit the wood chipper and powered it up by accident. The Okami attacked again. The two wrestled near the blades. Marcy came running outside.

"Bobby, no!" she screamed. "Look out!"

Bobby kneed the Okami and rolled out from under her. Bobby shoved the Okami toward the blades and blood and flesh started to come out of the other end of the wood chipper…where Marcy was standing. Bobby was hit with some of the blood as the rest of the Okami was shredded. Bobby then walked towards the controls and turned off the wood chipper.

"I, uh—I thought your chipper was broke." Bobby looked at Marcy.

Marcy was covered in blood and was in shock. "I just said that to get you over here."

"Oh." Bobby paused. "Well, I guess I could come over for dinner some night. Might be fun."

Marcy shook her head. "I don't think so."

Bobby sighed and nodded. "Story of my life."

A/N: Hey y'all, sorry for not posting yesterday. I worked a double shift and by the time I got home, I was exhausted. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it's lacking Sam, Dean, and Angie. Anyway, we're really going to start seeing Dean and Angela get pretty suspicious of Sam. Angela's already pretty suspicious, but stay tuned! Don't forget to review, your feedback is so important! Love you guys.

~Emily