Cleavon
Cleavon was Uncle Charlie's friend and employee he kept the brothel clean and sanitary and in return he was given free room and board and free meals as well. Cleavon was an older guy completely bald headed and kind of wrinkley. But not old man wrinkly, it was kind of leather wrinkly. He had no visible teeth so when he talked you had to pay close attention to what he was saying so you could understand him. Daddy said he was an odd guy and didn't like him much. Charlie said he was an ok fella and was harmless. Cleavon liked the Star Wars genre and was fantasizing about fucking Princess Leah.
He also was obsessed with the droids and even corrected Charlie when he called them robots. He didn't mind the brothel becoming into a Star Wars brothel where the women could dress the parts as the various alien women in Star Wars that you see milling about in some scenes in the movies. He also had a thing for my sister Baby. Daddy has promised him if he so much as touched Baby he'd have to collect early retirement and hope to hell that he had enough saved up to pay for his life support that he'd be on.
I think Baby can take care of herself. If Cleavon tried anything stupid with her, she'd take care of it Firefly style.
I guess I like Cleavon ok…he knows a lot about Star Wars and even had me watch the movie with him. He told me all of the continuity errors in the movie and how some things were impossible to perform. 'Give me a fuckin' break Cleavon…it's a damn movie. You can do anything you want in it. Any fucking thing.' I think to myself.
Cleavon did warn me about one guy though. This guy he use to hang out with called *Bubba.* Bubba was this short guy that was rather rotund to be nice. But he was a loud mouth who didn't like a damn soul. Cleavon said the only reason why Charlie lets him hang around is because he is kind of the 'sheriff' of Fun Town. And if he thought you needed to leave then leave you would. Cleavon never calls Charlie by his name. He always calls him Boss. But despite Cleavon's weirdness, Charlie usually consults with him and gets his opinion on things. Believe it or not it works about 75% of the time.
Cleavon said I could call him Uncle Cleavon if I want to (I do NOT want to call him my Uncle) and when my Daddy heard that his eyes got all wide and buggy. He went over to Charlie and warned him to keep a rein on Cleavon. He wasn't a Firefly and would never be a Firefly. He could be an associate but nothing more. He was alive and that should be good enough (anyone who meets us and stays around too long has a shorter life expectancy. No not because of the feds getting em' talk to my brother and sister and you'll see)
One time I heard Cleavon getting mad at one of the patrons he called him somewhat of an inbred hillbilly fuck. Amazingly I could understand him being as somehow he had managed to find himself false teeth. What a fucking spaz.
Suddenly I grin a wicked grin. I was going to get back at Baby for what she did to me a last month. Maybe I could arrange a little date with Cleavon and her. Oh yeah, she'd beat the fuck out of me but it would be well worth it.
A/N: Bubba was that African american guy was in the HOTC Devil's Rejects deleted scenes where he was yelling at someone. (I think it was Spaulding but im not sure)