He's going to lose him forever.
Brendan sees Walker look at Steven with the same raw desire that he feels towards the boy. What Walker doesn't understand is everything else that comes with someone like Steven. His vulnerability. His insecurities. The boy doesn't understand his own abilities, his own intelligence. It may not be of the text book variety, but he's a quick thinker when he wants to be.
Brendan knows that Walker's never seen that smile, that smile that Steven does that seems to be reserved just for him. That tells him that Brendan's his whole world, that this is exactly where he wants to be.
Wanted to be.
Walker's so close, tip of his tongue darting out, his knees wriggling forward on the bed sheet. Brendan can see Steven's cock, beautiful and erect, but none of his old thoughts enter his mind - Jesus that boy's perfect - and his trousers don't even stir.
He feels too wound up for that, like he can't fucking breathe and he's going to tear out of his own skin, must do with the amount of rage that he's feeling.
He can feel Steven slipping away with each movement that Walker makes closer to him, is so distanced from Brendan now that they may as well be on different continents. It was what he wanted, or told himself that he needed, but he isn't in such strong denial that he hasn't acknowledged his small efforts to keep the boy close in these last few weeks.
Every time that Steven thinks he's not looking he keeps an eye on him, hasn't yet decided what he'd prefer to see on the boy's face, happiness or misery. He aches for happiness, needs it for Steven more than he craves his own, but misery would suggest that this is as hard for him as it is for Brendan. A part of him wants that, wants to think that he's had as big an effect on Steven's life as he has on his.
He wants Steven to miss him.
Brendan can hear Walker through the door, fucking noisy bastard, hasn't even got his lips on Steven's cock yet and he's already moaning, Mmmmhmmmm like a low, rumbling hum, like Steven's the best thing he's ever devoured.
He will be, and Brendan knows that once he gets a taste he's going to come back. He won't ever have his fill. No one ever could.
He couldn't walk away now even if he wanted to. All thoughts of Kevin back in his cell are permanently erased from his mind. Even when he's not with Steven he takes up all his head space, is something that Brendan has had to adjust to. Everyday until he's in his grave he'll always be there.
He can't control his next reaction.
He sees Walker's lips close around the head of Steven's cock, just beginning to wet the foreskin, and Brendan's hammering on the door like a madman, must look fucking crazy but he doesn't care, he needs to be inside that room and get Steven as far away from Walker as possible.
He can see Steven jolt from inside, clearly wasn't expecting them to have visitors. It reminds Brendan of when they were in the cell together, when Walker walked in on them, and he wonders how the hell they reached this point. It should be him inside that room right now, shouldn't be watching the man he wants become Walker's next victim like this.
His hand has healed from where he smashed it into the mirror weeks ago, but he's making a fresh wound all over again. He doesn't register the pain, just smashes it against the door over and over again. Walker's stopped, has leaned back on his heels but it's not enough, not even close to what Brendan needs to happen. He won't feel safe until he's beside Steven.
He knows that his persistence will pay off, can see Walker torn between his desire not to let Brendan in and his knowledge that the guards will be altered to the noise. As much as Walker loves theatrics, he doesn't want to cause this kind of scene, not when he has a half naked boy on his bed.
It's only then as he scours the room that he notices the bottle on the floor.
Brendan bangs even louder then, let me in Simon, a thousand different painful scenarios running through his head.
He prays that Steven wouldn't be stupid enough to drink moonshine. For himself to do it is one thing, but the boy's got his whole life ahead of him. Last thing he needs is to get caught and have more time added to his sentence.
When Walker opens the door he pushes past him forcefully, nearly knocks the man off his feet. Steven's sitting awkwardly on the bed, is covering a pillow over his groin, cheeks flushed bright pink.
"Put your clothes on." It's a demand, and if Steven doesn't do it then Brendan's going to do it for him.
The boy shakes his head. He's being challenging now of all times?
"Steven. Put. Your. Clothes. On." He speaks it through gritted teeth, isn't willing to have his patience tested tonight.
"You can't just barge in here." His speech is slurred around the edges, eyes unfocused.
Brendan grabs his arm urgently, ignoring him when he lets out a high pitched ow!
"Are you drunk?"
"Get off me!"
"Answer the question!"
"Brendan, you heard the boy. Get off him."
Brendan had momentarily forgotten that he and Steven aren't alone in the room.
He turns round to face Walker, picture of calm as fucking usual, even when sporting an erection through the length of his trousers.
He's getting off on this. On all of this.
He loves the panic, the anger, the danger, the illicitness.
Sick bastard.
"How could you do that?"
"What makes you think I did anything?" Fucking glint in his eye like he holds all the cards here, knows a secret which Brendan doesn't.
"You run the whole fucking moonshine operation in this place, Simon." He's trying to kid a kidder, can't keep it up and he knows it, his face morphing into a smile as he regards Brendan, Steven still clutching that pillow stubbornly behind them.
"I didn't make the lad do anything he didn't want to do, Brendan. Now if you don't mind, I'm a little busy here..."
Brendan snarls, shoves Walker square in the chest, deserves it for not caring about anything, for not even considering whether Steven would still want this in the morning, waking up with a hangover and Walker lying next to him.
Steven's still unmoving, is staring at him indignantly, bottom lip jutting out in the way that used to make Brendan want to take it between his teeth and suck on the flesh. He doesn't even entertain the idea now, can't stand for Walker to witness anything between them, feels like he's infringing on something private. He may not have had Steven for weeks but he's still his, still feels like this thing between them hasn't been completely severed. It's hanging on by a thread but it's still there.
"I swear to God, if you don't put your clothes on now I'm going to carry you out of this room naked," Brendan warns.
It looks like Steven's about to defy him, but slowly and reluctantly he leans forward and picks up his trousers and boxers. He looks at Brendan, clearly telling him with his eyes that it isn't his place to look anymore, and he turns around to give the boy some privacy, manhandles Simon so he's facing away too when he makes no movement to cast his eyes adrift.
He can hear Walker laughing in front of him as he faces the wall, see him make a satisfied smirk.
"Alright, you got what you wanted," Steven mutters, and Brendan looks again, feels relief flooding through him now that Walker's not drinking in the sight of him unclothed.
Once upon a time he had planned on never letting anyone but himself see Steven like that. He feels like the boy's been violated in some way.
"Right, you're coming with me." He grabs Steven by the arm, ignores the boy's protests.
Walker reaches out his hand, makes a movement to free Steven from his hold but Brendan's prepared to see him on the floor before that happens. He pushes him away, his eyes blazing with the promise of further aggression if he dares to overrule this.
"I'll deal with you later," he tells him, desperately wants to deal with him now, but Walker can wait, and Steven can't.
"I look forward to it," Walker replies with a wink, waves to Steven as Brendan continues pushing him towards the door.
The boy's resistance is high, he's shouting get off me and wriggling under Brendan's grip, trying to wrestle his way out of his vice like hold.
He's going to tire himself out if he keeps this up. It's a pointless struggle.
Brendan initially guides him towards the direction of his own cell, then realises what will be waiting for him when they get there. Kevin. He doesn't want Steven to see the lad lying on his bed, knows exactly how it looks, and he doesn't need to give Steven any more of a reason to be as difficult as fuck.
Instead he maneuverers Steven towards his cell, makes Douglas jump when they crash through the door, Steven still trying his hardest to escape.
"What the hell happened?"
Brendan ignores him, lies Steven down on the bed, pushes the boy back there when he immediately tries to get up again and make a run for the door.
"I should have known he was with you. Should have known that even in this state you would still take advantage of him."
The Yank's like an ongoing headache in Brendan's skull, thinks he always knows the score, takes the moral high ground on everything like of course Brendan couldn't possibly be trying to do what's right.
"You shouldn't even be near him after the way you treated him -"
"He was with Walker, Douglas."
That takes the wind out of his sails. He stares from Brendan to Steven, those blue eyes of his trying to determine what's real and what's not.
"Walker?"
"Yes, Walker. Go to his cell if you don't believe me. You can probably still smell the Lynx," he sighs. The way Steven's covered in it suggests a date rather than a night spent drinking brewed alcohol and getting a blowjob.
Some of the animosity fades from Douglas's face. "Is he okay? Walker didn't hurt him, did he?"
"I am here you know!" Steven barks, but Brendan knows he's in no position to reassure them of anything right now. The Steven he knew would never have gone to Walker's cell like that, would never have put himself in such a vulnerable position. Brendan can't equate the man he kissed and fucked and cared about with the man lying stretched out on Walker's bed, willing to give his body away that freely.
"Douglas, give us some space won't you?"
That sparks the lad up again, turns into a moody fucker whenever Brendan's in his presence.
"No way. What Ste needs right now is to go to bed and sleep it off. You should get out of here, I can take care of him."
Brendan relents his position in towering over Steven, keeps him within his eyesight still in case he decides to make a run for it, but moves towards Douglas, looks at him like he's a fleck of dirt on his shoe.
"I need to be alone with Steven."
Douglas shakes his head, crossing his arms like he thinks they're a barrier to Brendan hurting him.
"And leave you alone with him to act out your perverted fantasies when he can't fight back? No."
Brendan laughs, sounds high and strange to his ears, the irony not lost on him that he's the one being accused of taking advantage of someone weak, someone who's not in the position to fend for themselves right now.
"I would never hurt him. Never."
It's not the complete truth, and Brendan wishes he could say it with the strongest conviction. He has hurt Steven before, hates the fact that his promises are worth nothing because of what Douglas knows he did to Vincent.
But he feels such a swell of protectiveness towards the boy, and the thought of laying a hand on him now disgusts him. He wants to keep him safe from people like that.
He expects Douglas to fight back with a snappy retort, but sees something entirely different register across his face, drops his arms from around him as if in shock.
"Oh my God. You're..."
He breaks off, doesn't need to continue because Brendan's got the strangest idea of exactly what he's going to say.
"I'm not. I'm not." Repeating it only makes it sound more weak.
"Yes you are. I didn't think it was possible...someone like you...but you are, aren't you?"
Brendan stares back at Steven on the bed, is panicked that the boy's taking this all in, but he seems in a world of his own, is looking straight ahead, dazed as if he's already beginning to sober up and it's an uncomfortable reality.
"You can stand outside the door the whole time if you want. Just give me some time with him." His voice is softer now, coaxing almost, knows that pissing Douglas off isn't going to help right now, as fun as it can be.
Douglas stares at Steven as if trying to garner his approval, knows it's futile because any of the boy's decisions can't be entirely trusted in this state regardless.
"Just go, Doug," he sighs, slouching back on the bed like he's admitting defeat.
Douglas stands close to Brendan's face, tries to pretend that he isn't a good few inches shorter than him, smaller in every way.
"I'll be keeping an eye on you. If you even touch him -"
"Shaking in my shoes, Douglas."
He narrows his eyes, takes an age to close the door behind him, and Brendan has to resist the urge to do it for him.
When he's gone Brendan breathes a sigh, doesn't know if it's in relief or frustration. He hadn't planned on ever being alone with Steven again, and everything feels fragile. Unpredictable. He's not sure whether to shout at the boy for his stupidity or take him into his arms, something he's not allowed to do anymore. Something he shouldn't want to do.
He should feel angry for passing up a chance to be with Kevin for this, hates himself for feeling like there's nowhere else that he'd rather be right now.
Of all the places and of all the people, he'd choose this.
Insanity.
It's so quiet, too quiet, and if one of them doesn't start talking soon then they never will.
"You got a death wish, Steven?"
As far as conversation starters go it's not the politest of beginnings, but he's never felt the need to be polite around this man.
Steven merely ignores him, head turned to the side. He's listening though, Brendan can tell.
"You're getting out soon. What if you'd been caught? That would have meant more months away from Amy and the kids. Or do you want to rot away in this place?"
"Don't care," the boy grunts.
He does though, Brendan knows it.
"Don't give me that bullshit. Don't start acting like all the other guys in here."
"Why?" Still petulant, still facing away.
"Because you're better than them."
Steven snorts. "Yeah, whatever you say Brendan."
"You don't think I mean it?" He's willing to prove to him that he does, if it means he'll stop self destructing.
"No, funnily enough I don't think the guy who dumped me and gave me bruises thinks I'm all that special."
Dumped. Like they were together. Properly together.
"This isn't about me," Brendan mumbles. "Or us. It's about you."
"If it's not about us then why don't you just do one?"
"I wasn't going to leave you in this state with Walker," Brendan says, as if it's obvious.
"Why not?" Steven asks, finally facing him, flinging his arms about in annoyance.
Usually Brendan loves him like this. Fiery. Passionate.
"You're not my minder, are you? I don't need you to look after me. I was doing just fine."
"Ah yes," Brendan laughs hollowly. "Because that's so like you, isn't it? Willing to sleep with a man who you don't even like."
"Who says I don't like him? Maybe I just told you that to make you happy. Maybe I've fancied him all along."
He's hitting Brendan where he hurts, and knows it too, knows that it had been an insecurity of Brendan's, as much as he does insecurities. Seeing Walker and Steven together had confirmed all of his worst fears, made him think that perhaps the boy's feelings for him had been a lie all along.
Walker can offer Steven a kind of protection that he can't. He wouldn't hit Steven. Walker doesn't have a father like Seamus, isn't the same kind of monster as Brendan is.
Steven's better off with him, and Brendan feels like now he's not the only one who realises it.
"Would you...would you really have slept with him?" He can't help but torture himself by asking.
"Maybe," Steven says quietly, sounds like a yes.
"Jesus, Steven."
"What? What's so wrong with that?" The boy slurs loudly. "You did."
Brendan goes stock still, stares at him in shock.
"What?"
"I know about your little lie. Telling me that you'd never..." He laughs bitterly. "Don't even bother to deny it, because both he and Doug told me."
Brendan runs a hand through his hair, doesn't know where to look.
"It was before I met you," he answers pointlessly, pointlessly because this thing between him and Steven is over now, and he doesn't owe him explanations.
Then why does it feel like he does?
"Several times apparently." Is that jealousy?
"It wasn't even..." He tries to explain, wants to tell Steven how Walker had worn him down, kept on coming to him when he was at his lowest, and it was something that made him feel better, the only thing at times. Like something that kept him alive when he felt he had no one else. "He didn't mean anything to me."
"Why did you lie then?"
He's not even entirely sure himself, tries to make sense of it in his mind.
"Because I didn't want...I didn't want you knowing anymore about my past. The choices I'd made, the things I'd done. I'd already told you about...about my dad." It hurts to say it, reminds him bitterly of Steven sharing the most personal thing about his life with Simon. "I just wanted us to start again."
He only realises how true it is when he says it. He hadn't wanted to remember being with Walker when he was with Steven. The two things were incomparable. A mindless fuck against something that had meant everything.
"How were we meant to start again when you couldn't even be honest with me?"
Brendan doesn't have an answer to that. He fights between desperately wanting to give Steven something, some kind of explanation, and knowing that he owes him nothing, that the boy's the one in the wrong here.
Steven shakes his head in frustration when Brendan remains quiet, and leans his head into his propped up knees.
"You should get some rest, sleep this off."
"Don't tell me what to do."
"I'm not -" He swears, feels like he can't win here. He tries to talk to the boy and he's attacked, he tries to leave him alone and he's attacked. "That moonshine's nasty stuff. Leaves you with a killer hangover."
"Don't pretend you care, Brendan. You just want to get back to your new toy."
Brendan's eyes widen, wonders if Steven's read his mind and seen who's in his cell waiting for him.
"I've seen you with that lad. Carl, is it?"
"Kevin."
He thinks. It's hard to remember.
"Is he the one you cheated on me with?"
"I didn't cheat on you, Steven. We were never together."
Steven looks like he believes that just as much as Brendan does.
"No." He continues softly. "It wasn't him."
"Who then?"
He tries to think of a name, a name designed to hurt him, but he draws a blank. Steven has no right to be jealous of anyone in here. Everyone pales in comparison to him, badly. So badly that it's embarrassing.
"Come on, tell me." Steven stands up from the bed, marches up to Brendan as bold as brass. The alcohol inside his system has left his cheeks with a faint rosy glow, and Brendan curses him for looking so perfect even now.
He's making it increasingly difficult to walk away.
"Because see, I thought we were together, me. I thought we were a couple, that it was you and me against every fucker in this place."
Steven's softened now, his eyes shining brightly with tears, the harsh exterior that's been present for so long breaking.
Brendan's overtaken by a strong desire to comfort him, feels like he has to restrain his hands from reaching out.
"Remember the last time we slept together?"
Of course. He'd been drunk like Steven is now, had been able to fool himself that he'd been dreaming until he'd had to admit defeat, acknowledge that even with the strong sense of betrayal in his gut he still hadn't been able to resist him that one last time.
"You kissed me like you - like you cared about me," Steven stutters, a single tear rolling down his cheek that Brendan wants to wash away with his tongue. "You held me afterwards, remember? Fell asleep with me, and then I woke up the next morning and you were gone."
Brendan remembers, remembers how he hadn't been able to stay in the bed a second longer, otherwise he'd risk taking Steven all over again, of forgetting that he had to end it.
"How can we go from that to this?" He's begging him now, begging him to make him understand.
There's a lot that Brendan needs to understand himself.
"You know what I decided the first night we slept together? Something that I never told you, that I never told anyone. Look at me -" Steven pleads, takes Brendan's face in his hands and forces him to meet his eyes. "I decided that I'd never be with anyone else after that. That it would just be you."
"That's...that's crazy. Got the rest of your life ahead of you, you've got to live it," Brendan chokes.
"I didn't care," Steven says with conviction, hurts to hear him throwing away his life instantly just like that. "I just wanted you."
Brendan's angry now, fucking furious. Steven shouldn't be making him feel all these things, not when he's the one who screwed it up. For a glorious moment Brendan had imagined all that too, had been impossible to envisage himself with anyone else ever again when he had Steven.
The future and the boy's release date had been a looming presence in his mind, but when he was with Steven it was easy to believe that something like that could last forever.
"You broke it," he says, wants it to sound like an accusation but it comes out weak, pathetic.
The comment seems to sober Steven up further, blinks those long eyelashes of his which are now stained with tears.
"What?"
"You..." You know what you did.
"Come on," Steven says, sounds like he's in disbelief, and this is increasingly making little sense to Brendan, doesn't understand how Steven can be this dense.
The boy pushes him and he stumbles back, disarmed.
"Tell me, how did I break it? Was I too kind to you? Was I there for you too much? Was having someone care about you just too fucking annoying?"
Brendan wants to warn him that if he continues he's going to get more than a few bruises this time, but the anger that's risen to the surface is overtaken by curiosity. He wants to know what the fuck Steven's talking about.
"Come on, tell me. I'm really fascinated as to how this is my fault."
"You told him," Brendan explodes, sounds like it's being torn out of him. He's avoided this up until now because it hurts too much.
Not speaking it out loud lessened the pain of it for a little while, meant that he didn't have to hear Steven admit his betrayal and fuck him up all over again.
"I told who what?"
The boy sounds genuinely confused. He's cleverer than Brendan had guessed, must have hidden talents in manipulation to make it sound this convincing, like he's the innocent victim in all of this.
He doesn't give up when Brendan doesn't tell him.
"What are you talking about?" He sounds desperate now, forehead creased like he's in torment, hands either side of Brendan's face, hold on him firm even when he tries to shrug him off.
"Walker," he manages to get out, can't stand that the man knows his biggest weakness, the thing which he's tried to protect his whole life.
Steven still looks mystified, still pretends that he doesn't fucking get it, and Brendan wants to hammer it into his head, spell it out for him, I trusted you and you destroyed it all.
"You told him about Seamus." He can't say any more than that, feels like a punch to his stomach just getting those words out.
Steven's hands slowly run down his skin as he releases him, looks like he's in shock, doesn't look the slightest bit drunk anymore.
"Why would you say that?" He sounds almost insulted, like Brendan's offended him.
"He told me." He wonders if this will finally cause Steven to drop the pretense and admit to what he's done.
"But I...I never..."
Brendan shakes his head in disgust, can't believe that the boy's denying it even now when being faced with the truth.
"Brendan I swear, I never told him anything!"
"You're a fucking liar," Brendan says coldly, looks Steven up and down like he's something sick, revolting.
"I swear on my kids life." He's panicked now, tries to put his hands back on Brendan but he pushes him away, causes Steven to momentarily lose his footing.
He's not giving up though, leans a hand on the bed railing so he doesn't fall, and moves closer to Brendan like he has to keep talking to him.
"Why would I do that to you? I'd rather die than tell anyone."
"You're the only person I've ever told. How would he know otherwise?"
Steven looks around the cell, looks like he's searching for answers in the walls.
"I don't know, maybe he...maybe he overheard us or something."
"No." Brendan shakes his head, isn't going to be reeled in by this.
"Brendan! I promise you, despite everything that's happened between us, despite all that you've done - I wouldn't tell anyone, even now. You really think I could ever hurt you like that? I wouldn't even do that to my worst enemy."
Fuck. The way that Steven's looking at him, it's easy to believe that he's telling the truth. That he really would rather give up his life than reveal that confidence.
He can't separate fact from fiction anymore.
"Oh my God," Steven whispers.
"What?" Brendan can't help but ask, is feeling increasingly uncomfortable about this whole situation, like everything he thought he knew is coming undone.
"He's played us. He's played us this whole time." He sounds in shock. "He told me about you and him, pretended that it just slipped out, like he didn't even realise. He wanted me to hate you. Then he...he lied to you, Brendan. I don't know how he knows about Seamus, but...can't you see?" Steven looks at him imploringly.
He doesn't know who to trust, has known Walker a whole lot longer, even thinks of him as some kind of fucked up friend, but trust is a whole separate issue.
He had trusted Steven though, had trusted him more than his own sister, had sensed that the boy wouldn't reject him or hurt him. It had made all of this sting that much more.
"How...how do I know you're not lying to me? That you weren't the one to tell him?" The vulnerability of his own voice isn't lost on him. He sounds like he's going to break.
Steven takes a deep breath, seems to be fighting some internal war within himself.
"Because...I love you."
Brendan closes his eyes, feels like white noise is surrounding him.
"Shut up, please, just..."
He can't think clearly with words like love being bandied about. It shouldn't faze him, he's heard it a million times before from Macca and Vincent.
But this is different.
Brendan throws open the door to the cell, can't stand this a moment longer. True to his promise Douglas is standing outside, looks like he's keeping guard.
"Go and get Walker for me."
"What?" He asks disgruntledly, is checking over Brendan's shoulder to look at Steven, and Brendan knows what he's looking for.
Marks. Bruises. Blood.
"Go and get him for me. Now."
"I'm not your slave -"
"Now."
"Alright," Douglas mutters, runs down the hallway, still far too fucking slow for Brendan's liking.
When Brendan comes to stand back in front of Steven again the boy's staring at him in fear.
"Brendan, don't."
"I'm just going to have a nice little chat with him Steven, that's all."
The boy knows him too well, and his frightened gaze only increases.
When Walker enters the room he closes the door on Douglas, ignores his protests and stares at his form disdainfully.
"Honestly, you could have chosen a better errand boy," he tuts, his frown turning to a smirk as he regards the two men.
"I'll note that down for next time, thanks Simon."
"Anytime." Waller gives him a salute, purposefully ignoring Brendan's hostile tone.
He's reveling in the tension, the way that it feels like everything's about to explode.
Steven's fidgeting on the spot, looks nervous as hell, doesn't know where to place his eyes.
"I must say Brendan, your timing leaves a lot to be desired," Walker continues, walks around the room, circling them. "I was so close to going down on your boy. So close."
Brendan balls his hands into fists at the thought, knows just how close Walker really was. The thought's painful to him, the knowledge of what would have happened if he'd been any later.
"I did just get a taste though, didn't I Steven?" He leans close towards the boy, whispers into his ear but still makes sure that Brendan can hear every damn word. "Delicious."
Brendan puts a hand on his arm and drags Walker away from him, doesn't care how much it burns, would happily tear him from his ligaments and leave nothing behind.
"Enough," he hisses, can't fucking stand that anything's happened between them at all.
Walker laughs triumphantly like this is the best game he's ever played.
"I understand the appeal completely, Brendan. I was worried that young Ste here would be all a pretty arse and no substance, but I see how wrong I was."
Steven's colouring in humiliation, looks like he's seen the cold light of day and the knowledge of what he's just done is hitting him.
"You knew it was the only way you could have him, didn't you?" It's sinking in now, the chaos in his head clearing. "You had to make me believe that he'd told you."
Awareness floods Walker, the smile fading from his face.
"He didn't tell you about my dad, did he?"
"I'm sorry to ruin your perfect little fantasy, but he did."
"Stop lying!" Steven screams, and Brendan has to hold him back, the boy struggling fiercely in his arms to break free, to do the kind of damage that Brendan knows will result in Steven being the one on the floor.
"Who are you going to believe?" Walker asks, raising his voice over the sound of Steven fighting to get out of Brendan's grasp.
It's the first time he's touched, properly touched the boy in weeks.
"You've known me for years, Brendan."
"I believe him," Brendan says, realises how true this is, and how didn't he see it before?
At his words Steven stops fighting, seems to have the anger drained from him, and Brendan gradually lets the boy go.
"How do you know?" Steven asks, seems just as pained by the fact that he does as Brendan is.
He thinks Walker's going to deny it again, but after a moment his pose turns from rigid to relaxed, his shoulders deflating.
"I've known for years."
"How?" Brendan breathes, mentally thinking back on everything he's ever said to Walker, anything that he's let slip that's revealed the truth.
"I had a...a friend. Went through the same thing. Not exactly like you but not exactly unlike you either."
Brendan still strongly feels an urge to deny it, you got it all wrong, that never happened to me, but he knows he's in too deep now.
"I never wanted to use that against you," Walker says, sounds almost regretful and that makes it worse. If he's going to do something this fucked up then Brendan wants him to be fucked up. No middle ground. "But do you see how easy it was, Ste?" He faces the boy now, and Brendan notices how he lowers his voice when it's directed at him. "To make him think that you had betrayed him? Do you see how he has no trust in you at all? He can't love anything."
Brendan expects the boy to ignore him, but he's too stubborn for that, always so much braver than Brendan thinks.
"It doesn't matter. I can love enough for the both of us."
There's that word again. As if Steven truly believe that it makes everything simple.
Walker laughs at the boy's naivety. Time was when Brendan would have joined him, but he wouldn't dare now. Steven's got courage, got more guts than anyone he's ever known to love a man like him.
He knows he's the most difficult person in the world to love.
"That's...cute. Really is it, Ste. I suppose you think you have to be home before midnight otherwise the spell will be broken too? That you'll leave your glass slipper behind?"
Walker's mocking him, is so fucking close to passing the point where Brendan doesn't give him anymore chances.
"You're leaving him in a month, love. But I'll still be here for him. Keeping him warm at night."
Brendan lets his attention slip, is too fucking furious at the poison coming out of Walker's mouth that he doesn't have time to hold Steven back, and before he can stop him he's hit out at Walker, has him lying on the floor after punching him square in the nose.
Blood's spilling down Walker's chin, running over his lips. He clutches his nose, smiles at Steven in surprise.
"Wow. Didn't realise just how feisty your boy really is, Brendan."
Steven shakes his hand in pain, shrugs Brendan off when he tries to look at his knuckles.
He wants to tell Steven that he's just played right into Walker's hand, that he's fucking loving this.
"You're twisted," Steven spits at him, sounds like he's only just realising just how twisted the man really is, that there is no beginning or end to it.
Brendan looks towards the screen window, knows that they're pushing their luck and an officer's bound to do a patrol any second now. He can see Douglas nervously standing outside, looks torn between wanting to come inside and to avoid being placed in any danger.
"Boy, boys..." Walker says, lets out a high pitched laugh as blood cascades down his mouth. "You do realise we can still easily sort this out? I told you Brendan, I'm happy to share him with you. It would be a shame to put this bed to waste."
Brendan silences him by kicking him firmly in the ribs, is sure that the last thing that Walker says before he admits defeat is "Women are so much fucking easier."
He stares at Steven, wonders how on earth they're going to pick up the pieces of this wreckage.