A Hidden World

Chapter 13

Alone

Four days have passed and no sign of Simon.

Four days have passed since Jace disappeared.

Four days have passed without a dream.

Four days have passed and I am going insane.

He had left me in the kitchen lingering for more of him when he took off, without a word. I could still taste him when I run behind him afraid that I did something wrong. But he was too fast for me.

I didn't know how to explain his behaviour. He was so nice throughout the entire evening; he had even made me dinner. We were enjoying our selves when he kissed me.

A kiss I didn't expect but yet wanted it. I was surprised by how I found myself kissing him back. I literally couldn't take my hands off him. He's lips were so tempting.

I had never thought of Jace like that. Well I had noticed before, that he was very handsome but didn't feel any connection with him. Not until now.

Before this, my life was normal as it could be. My main interests were my school and my drawing classes. I didn't have friends except from Simon. He was the only friend I had. Now about boyfriends that's another story.... or.....not a story at all.

I never actually had that dating thing other girls had in high school. The only close to dating or interacting with boys was when I had to kiss a boy for a theatrical play for my school. And that again wasn't something you wanted to remember. Believe me.

But now that my life was out of the ordinary, now that I met Jace it was more bearable. Yes, I didn't want that entire demon staff or magic or anything not real, but in some weird way it made me feel better. I didn't know why but it felt like I was where I was supposed to be.

Of course I never shared these thoughts with Simon because I didn't want to believe my emotions. It didn't made sense. But mostly I was afraid. Afraid of what was ahead of me. Afraid that I won't manage to complete my task, because I knew I had a role in this story even if I never admitted that.

I had managed to adjust to this world and accept it but I wasn't sure of myself. Then Jace came and everything was clear. I might not know what was happening around me but I knew I belonged here.

When he kissed me, every doubt I had were evaporated and now the only thing left was the acknowledgment of that.

It was like a switch inside me went on and now I could see everything with another prospective. I knew I had powers. Not the fancy ones Magnus had or Isabelle's fighting skills, but something else.

Something I was able now to understand. I was the only one who could explain my visions and I was ready to do it. I understood now and the only thing I had to do was to dream, but I hadn't any visions since Simon left.

I was putting too much effort Isabelle had told me the other days. Since Jace left Isabelle was the one who kept me company most of the time. The others came too but mostly Isabelle. We had had kind of created a small friendship.

"I can't take this anymore!" I said frustrated at her, my last attempted to convince her to go together one last time. "Let's go one last time. He is probably lost in the woods looking for us. We can't just leave him there!"

"Clary, you might also want to consider the possibility..."

"No. Don't even say it. He isn't dead." He can't be dead. He is a Shadowhunter. He can't do that to me. He can't leave me too. He can't.

"I am not saying that. But it's been four days and we searched the area around Ragon's house many times. I am sorry to say this, but if he was to be found it would have happened already."

I didn't want to think Simon dead. I knew he was somewhere, alive. I just knew it. It had to be true. I refused to even consider him dead as a possibility.

"I didn't want to upset you Clary but I needed to prepare you just in case. I have seen death many times and I didn't like any of them." She gave me a big hug. "I am sure he is fine. He has probably wet his pants from what he saw and now he is too ashamed to face us." She said half mocking. "Oh look at the time. Max will be back soon. I have to hurry." Isabelle told me and packed her things.

"Who is Max?"

"My brother of course."

"You have another brother too?"

"Yeah, he is older than Alec by two years. He was gone for a while and in about..." she reached for her watch, "two hours he will be back. We are going to have to do a lot of explanation."

"Isabelle? Can I come too?" I asked hoping that I will finally find out the truth but because I will also see Jace.

"Mm... Jace told me not to let you leave the house...."

"Oh come on Isabelle. I am trapped in here for days. I want to see the sun. I think I have forgotten how it looks like." I said pleading her.

"Well.... I could protect you better there."

"So is that a yes?" I said, not holding myself.

"Fine. But you are going to explain this to Jace."

"Like, he talks to me." I said mostly to myself but she heard it.

"What are you talking about?" she said her eyes all over me waiting for an answer. I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to talk to someone, to get it out of my system.

"I am afraid I did something to him and now he doesn't even want to see me."

"Like what?" she said and sat next to me at the sofa making herself comfortable.

"Well last time when he came... em... we kissed." I said avoiding her gaze. I didn't know if it was something I could share and especially with her.

"Finally!" she said with a huge smile on her face. I turned and raised my eyebrow at her. "I knew he had feelings for you. I could see if from the way he behaved around you."

"I don't think so..." I said trying not to get my hopes up.

"Of course he does!" She stood up and started passing. "So that's why he is acting so weird lately."

"But..." I tried to explain to her.

"He didn't even tell us! When I go home I will have to..."

"You are wrong. Listen he..." I tried again.

"Never mind I will text..."she continued talking.

"ISABELLE COULD YOU STOP FOR A SECOND?!" I shouted at her.

"Yes?" She said and seeing me frustrated she sat down not talking, waiting for me to speak.

"Listen, I don't think that he likes me."

"But when he..." I gave her my best 'I will kill you' glare and she stopped.

"And I say that because after he kissed me he ran off." I said to her not wanting to look at her.

"Like that?"

"Like that." I sighed.

"Clary," she said with a half smile. "He likes you. Just give him some time. Besides the last four days the only thing that he has been doing is to ask how you are and if you are safe enough. Would he do that if he cared?"

"I don't know." I said honestly. "It's because I am a human right?" I said thinking one their laws. The one who didn`t allow relationships with humans.

"What? No, that rule applies only to marriage. We can't marry humans. Besides you are not totally human." She said and started to pack her things again.

"What? I am not human?" I started panicking a little.

"Relax. It's just a speculation. I mean you have visions for crying out loud. You must have something non human inside you. That's at least my theory."

"Do the others have also a theory?"

"Well, Magnus believes you could be a descendent of a witch and Alec believes that you are just lucky. That boy doesn't have at all imagination. Sometimes I wonder what Magnus saw in him."

"And Jace? What does he think?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to know.

"I don't know. He hasn't told us anything. Now let's get going. But before we leave, you are going to dress up a little." She said and scooted me towards the stairs.

"Why?" I said not liking it where this was going.

"Because first of all we are kind of having a party..." I turned to look at her with horrified eyes. I never liked parties and I also didn't want to face any demons again. "It's just us." She added quickly sensing my fear.