Chapter 49 – Knock First

The next time Alyx opened her eyes the sun was high in the sky, pouring radiant light through her bedroom windows. Drowsy and deliciously warm, for a moment all she could do was watch the dust motes dance across the room; her sleep-fogged brain struggling to catch up with her gradually waking body.

Never did she sleep this late; not unless grievously ill or injured. Even then one of the maids would have shaken her awake long before now to address any number of urgent matters awaiting her attention. Yet here she was, left alone in this blissful state of lethargy to while away the hours—

Alone.

Alyx bolted straight up, one hand clutching the blanket to her chest. A quick glance at the empty bed and her surroundings confirmed it—Nate was not there. Alyx bit her lower lip, a thousand thoughts racing through her head as her heart thudded loudly in her ears. Where had he gone? Did he regret last night? Did last night even happen or was it all a dream produced by an overactive, long-ignored libido?

As if conjuring him up her bedroom door swung open and Nate was there, smiling sheepishly at her from across the room. He must have not been gone for very long or very far, given his lack of dress. She allowed herself to enjoy the sight of him wearing nothing but a pair of trousers that sat low on his narrow hips, teasing her with the view of his beautifully sculpted arms and torso. Her mouth ran dry as she recalled remnants of their night together; what it had felt like to run her hands over that supple skin, the way his powerful body had moved over hers, or how in the heat of passion he had clung to her so tightly it was as if some part of him had been afraid she would slip through his fingers like smoke.

"Good morning," he murmured as he crossed the room and leaned over to kiss her lingeringly. Alyx sighed into his mouth, mentally chiding herself for getting so worked up for nothing. No matter her personal reservations, this was real. Nate was real.

"Good morning to you too," she replied with a nervous laugh once he released her.

"Or rather I should be saying good afternoon," Nate retorted, his mouth tilting up in an amused half-smile.

"It's as late as all that?" Alyx asked in surprise.

"Only just barely. Not that it matters after last night."

"After last night..?" Alyx's brow furrowed in confusion.

"I doubt anyone was quick to wake up after yesterday's festivities."

Ah, he means the wedding,Alyx thought. Even after Esemerelle's attack she had no doubts that at least some of the guests would have continued celebrating down at the pub in good old fashioned Fereldan tradition. That this would also include certain members of the Wardens as well did not escape her, which would certainly explain why they had been left to their own devices for once.

"Come, I want to show you something," Nate said as he grabbed her hand and pulled her up with an inelegant squeak.

"Nate! I am not exactly in a state of dress to—"

"We're not going far and besides, I rather like your current state of dress," he murmured in her ear as he steadied her with an arm around her waist. Alyx blushed. She could feel the heat of his skin through the thin blanket she had wrapped around her body to provide some semblance of modesty, despite the fact that they were quite alone in her private chambers (and of course Nate had seen all of her already). Nate chuckled and moved his arm away, but only to take her hand again in his.

"I had planned to sneak down to the kitchen to smuggle up some food for us, but then I found this," he explained as he crossed to the door leading into the adjoining room and swung it open with a creek.

Alyx's eyes widened. A veritable feast had been laid out in her sitting room, the table conveniently set for two. Her stomach growled in response to the heavenly smells wafting toward them and Nathaniel chuckled again as he let go of her hand. Leaning against the doorjamb, he watched in amusement as she shuffled toward the table in a daze. Alyx took in the succulent fruits and cheeses, tender morsels of roasted mutton, golden crusted bread, even little pots of honey, butter and other such complimentary sauces. To top it all off was a selection of mulled wine and honey mead paired with expensive looking silver goblets that reminded her of the ones her parents would have put out for special occasions.

"This is—but if not you, then who..?" Alyx asked as she looked back at him inquisitively.

Nate pushed away from the door and handed her a note. One side of his mouth tilted up as she arched an eyebrow at him, but he remained silent as she unfolded the paper and read for herself:

Take all the time you need.

If the apocalypse comes, we will knock first.

-Z

Zevran. "I guess it is too much to hope that the entire castle does not already know what we've been up to?"

"I think that ship sailed even before last night," Nate replied. "Does it bother you?"

"No. At least not in the sense that people know about 'us,'" Alyx said with a sigh. "I guess I just wanted this one moment between us to be kept private…at least for a little while. Silly of me, really, considering who my friends are…not to mention the servants traipsing in and out at any given point. Probably gawking at us through a peep hole or something."

"Not terribly romantic when you put it that way," Nate murmured seriously, but she could tell he was trying not to laugh.

"It's not funny!" Alyx pouted, which did make him laugh despite himself.

"I'm sorry, my love, but you should have seen your face," Nate replied apologetically after she huffed and smacked his arm with the offending letter. "Still, I don't think you give the Vigil staff enough credit. If they were hired by Varel—which no doubt most of them were—then I would imagine they are far more discrete than your imaginings would paint them to be. As are your own men, I might add, or the secrets of our Order would be all over Thedas by now."

"True as that may be, that does not preclude certain pointy-eared ex-assassins from shoving in where they're not wanted—and I know how that sounded. I did not mean it like that!"

"What are you doing?" Nate asked as he straightened in surprise when Alyx stomped into the adjoining bedroom. He followed her in only to see her hopping on one foot as she started to pull on a pair of breeches while still clutching the blanket to her chest as if her life depended on it.

"I am going to go wipe the smug look off of that bastard elf's face, and then I'm going to do what I should have been doing all day—catching up on the work that has no doubt been piling up on my desk as we speak!"

"Wait, stop that for a second and look at me woman!" Nate growled as he pulled her up by the arms until they were practically nose to nose. "You can turn Zevran into a pair of Anitvan boots any time you want…and whatever work you have can wait. The Vigil will take care of itself for a while, please just try to take this for what it is."

"But I—"

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Lex," Nate replied with the subtle amusement that still surprised her from time to time. She snapped her mouth shut as he pulled her closer. "Whether you like it or not we've been given a boon…time. You know as well as I how precious it is. Why not enjoy it while we can?"

"Nate."

"You have trained your men well; they can handle things for this one day I would hope."

"Fine," Alyx huffed, though most of the fire had ebbed from her eyes at the pleading look in his. "But I am going to put something a little more practical on…AND I'm going to order a bath," she added before disappearing behind the changing blind.

Nate smiled to himself and went back to the table where Alyx appeared a few minutes later wearing a floor-length silken dressing gown that somehow still left little to his imagination despite the fact that it covered her completely. They ate mostly in companionable silence, interrupted only by the occasional long, meaningful glance and the arrival of two giggling maids there to prepare the bath Alyx had requested. The moment they disappeared through the door she shot him a sharp glance that clearly said: I told you so, to which he could only shrug and smile charmingly back at her. This of course did not win him any points. However, when Alyx stood and strolled toward the bedroom, the look she shot him over her shoulder clearly beckoned him to join her.

"What's all this?" he asked as he entered the bedchamber and watched her finger a number of bottles which had been left within reaching-distance of the tub.

"Bath oils?" Alyx guessed with a shrug.

Nate came up behind her and eyed the vials, all of which came in different shapes, sizes and colors. At a closer glance his eyes widened in surprise.

"Not all of them," he murmured as he tried to contain his amusement. "I would suggest staying clear of that one…and this too. At least until later."

"What, why? What's it for?"

"It's…ah…meant to stimulate certain erogenous areas during—"

"Ugh… I suppose meant as another 'gift' from Zevran. No wonder the maids were giggling their heads off! When I get my hands on that meddling elf—"

"I wouldn't kill him just yet, lass," Nate breathed into her ear as he pulled her back against him. He could feel her deep intake of breath followed by the satisfying shudder that ran through her body as he added, "Not at least until you've tried it first," in a husky a voice.

"I shall take it under advisement, my Lord," she murmured back, her blue eyes dancing with equal measures of mirth and lust that almost undid him right then and there. Instead he found himself mesmerized as she undid the sash at her waist and easily shrugged out of the dressing gown, letting it pool at her feet in a tumble of silk.

Of their own accord, Nate's eyes traveled down her shapely form and subconsciously wet his lips. He found himself frozen in place as Alyx stepped into the steaming water and raised an eyebrow at him in question.

"Aren't you coming in?" she asked him with a wry smile.

Suddenly bathing not only seemed like a good idea but an imperative to his continued health. Without a word he quickly stripped off his trousers and sunk into the tub behind her, sighing at the delicious feel of the hot soapy water and the press of her body as she leaned back against him.

Never before had Nate thought of how sensuous sharing a bath could be, but there was something in the simple action of washing one another that was deeply intimate in a way he had never experienced. Before long their ministrations turned into something else entirely and he soon found himself lifting Alyx out of the tub and carrying her over to the bed where they tumbled together, neither caring that they were both still soaking wet and slick from Zevran's bath oils.

I must really thank that elf some time, Nate thought fleetingly before he completely gave himself into sensation and the world around them simply fell away.

They spent most of the afternoon in much of the same way, wrapped up and around each other as they began to explore the new physical aspect of their relationship in earnest. It wasn't just the sex (as fantastic as it may be) but the quiet, languorous time spent together in the comfort of the cocoon they had created for themselves in Alyx's sun-drenched, four-poster bed. Some of that time was spent in the simple pleasure of lying in each other's arms, some of it in companionable conversation. Alyx discovered along the way that there was more to Nathaniel's mischievous side than she had expected and was surprised at how much they ended up laughing and playing together like a couple of kids.

It was like something had clicked into place with the advent of their physical relations, creating a level of comfort that had never been there before. All of the suffering they had put each other through since the day she found him sitting in that dingy little cell was pushed down into some deep dark forgotten place, leaving behind only the subtle sense of an old door closing. Alyx wasn't sure if it would last, but there was a peace to it that made her hope.

When they finally managed to rouse themselves from the bed it was to discover their earlier bath had been cleaned up and a fire had been prepared in the hearth. Discreet indeed, Alyx thought to herself, not wanting to linger too long on what she and Nate had possibly been doing not to notice the staff coming into her rooms. Yet when she saw the fresh meal laid out for them in the sitting room she could be nothing but grateful to them.

They fell upon the food like a couple of starving animals, and before long found themselves sated and pleasantly warm from the spiced wine that had accompanied their meal. Alyx wasn't sure if it was the alcohol that loosened her tongue or the way Nathaniel was looking at her as they watched the sun dip behind the tree line, but somehow she heard herself asking him again to tell her of his time in the Free Marches.

She bit her lip even as the words came tumbling out of her mouth. She had not wanted to ruin the mood and her heart dropped into her toes when the light went out of his eyes at the request. She returned his steady gaze, silently pleading for him to understand. Nathaniel ran a hand through his hair and her heart dropped even further when he turned away from her, but when he glanced back after a moment's hesitation it was with a small resigned smile that told her she had won.

Slowly he began to tell her the tale in a soft, husky timbre that had become both familiar and dear to here over the past few weeks. In reaction to her candid interest, Nathaniel gradually became more comfortable and his voice grew stronger and more confident as he relaxed into a steady pacing. For someone who never spoke for such long stretches of time she was delighted to find he was an excellent storyteller. She was so drawn into the story in fact that at times Alyx almost thought she was there, experiencing it with him every step of the way instead of sitting comfortably in an over-stuffed chair, leaning forward in anticipation of every word.

Despite her best of intentions Alyx couldn't help but disrupt him from time to time to ask a question or in reaction to something he said. She found her emotions running the gambit and more than once he stopped to let her take a moment to gather herself. Nathaniel mostly took this in stride, although naturally they ended up in a number of debates that resulted in childish name calling, swiftly followed by heated kisses that melted away the tension as if it had never happened at all. Nathaniel would continue on and the process would be repeated.

Hours passed by as he made his way through the long years that had formed his life far away from Fereldan. When he finally finished Nathaniel sat back in his chair and eyed her wearily, looking for some reaction and obviously expecting the worst. From the pallor of his face she could see that the telling had taken a lot out of him, and her heart ached.

"So even after all that you simply left?" Alyx asked.

"I had no ties to keep me there. My purpose fulfilled, I could only look to the south. To Amaranthine and what remained of my legacy," Nathaniel explained.

"But you said you had learned of your family even before you left Kirkwall. Surely you could have stayed and began anew? Not that I am saying I would have wished you to, but you had friends there, a chance at a normal life…"

"Kirkwall was never a home to me. Returning to Fereldan was my sole focus, the only thing that kept me motivated to continue on. Anyone who knew me there understood that," Nate replied.

"Knowing what you do now—do you ever regret returning?" Alyx asked carefully.

Nate's mouth twitched up in a fleeting smile.

"No. If I had stayed I would never have learned the truth of my father or your family, no matter how painful it was. I would never have been reunited with my sister…or you. If there was nothing else, I could never regret that," he replied hoarsely.

"I could never regret it either," she confessed in a voice so low he could barely hear it. She cleared her throat and tried not to blush as she hesitantly continued on. "I wanted to tell you something I fear may come off sounding demeaning, but I mean it only in the best of ways. I'm proud of you, Nathaniel."

"Then…you're not disappointed with me?" he asked in surprise.

"Not even a little," she replied with a small smile. "The things you have been through would have crushed a lesser man. That you not only survived but came out stronger for it just reaffirms what I've always thought of you. That you're a good man, and I am better for having you in my life."

"Alyx," Nathaniel breathed, his eyes rounding in surprise.

"My only regret is that I couldn't be there for you through it all. That you had to face such trials alone—"

"I wasn't always alone, but I think I know what you mean," he replied as he leaned forward, his eyes searching hers in a curious way. "May I show you something?" he finally asked. When she nodded he squeezed her hands and stood. "I'll just be a moment."

When he slipped back into her room a few minutes later he sat back down across from her and silently handed her what appeared to be a well-worn scrap of satin. It might have once been yellow in color but had faded to more of a dull beige with time. Turning it over in her hand she could see that it was stained in places and frayed at the ends from wear.

"A hair ribbon? Where did you get this?"

"Cannot you guess?" he asked in return, his silverite eyes studying her intently.

Alyx stared back at him, trying desperately to understand. Suddenly an old memory surfaced—something she hadn't thought of in years—of a little girl with stars in her eyes and a stubborn boy who had broken her heart.

"You don't mean this is—from the Wintersend Tourney? But I saw you toss it away," Alyx said as she remembered how she had offered the ribbon to him as a token of friendship. She had cried terribly when he had discarded it with a few carless words.

"I felt badly about it after you left, so I shoved it into my pocket to return to you later. Then of course I never got the chance. I didn't see it again until I had been in Kirkwall for some months, tangled in a ball at the bottom of my pack."

"And you kept it…all this time? But…I thought you hated me!"

"Hated? You might have been Fergus's annoying younger sister to me but I never hated you. In fact I think you terrified me a little."

"How on Thedas did I manage that?" she asked in surprise.

"You were always so sure of yourself and in the people you cared about. The way you looked at me sometimes—like there was nothing I couldn't do, couldn't be if I so chose—I never had anyone look at me that way, let alone a twelve-year-old brat. It was unsettling."

"So you spurned my ribbon; pushed me away?"

"I was sixteen years old, Lex," Nate said reprovingly.

"So why did you keep it then?" Alyx asked, and when he didn't answer she cocked her eyebrow at him and waited.

"There were so many times I wondered that myself," he said eventually. "I don't think I ever really knew why, but I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it. Maybe it was because it was the only thing I had of home that remained untainted. Maybe because in my darkest moments I would look at it and it would remind me of an easier time; where the shades of the world were brighter and the world a much kinder place.

So you see, in a sense you were with me…even if you didn't know it."

"Nate, that's—"

"Are you crying?"

"No," she mumbled stubbornly, even as a tear rolled down her cheek. "It was just—a lovely sentiment."

"Please, if I said something wrong—"

"No! No, it was perfect. I just didn't expect…damn it!" she sniveled helplessly. Nate leaned forward and ran his thumbs gently across her cheeks, wiping away the tears even as new ones formed. Alyx could only stare at him in wonder through the haze, her heart pounding painfully against her chest.

Nate kissed her gently, his lips soft and pliant against hers as her mouth opened beneath his ministrations. He tasted like salt from the tears that had mingled with their lips and her arms tightened around him as he deepened the kiss further. Pretty soon they were wrapped tightly around each other, their breaths coming in hitched gasps when they came up for air. When Nate stood and carried her to the bed, she didn't argue.

They made love slowly, leisurely exploring each other's bodies, savoring in every cry, every gasp as if it were the first and the last. With no more walls between them it was one of the most freeing and deeply intense experiences in Alyx's life. Later as the both of them were drifting off to sleep, she could only think of how Nate had cried out as he had finally shook apart in her arms, and then held her afterward as if she were the most precious thing in the world; breathing the words into her ear that now echoed back to her, lulling her into a dreamless sleep. I love you…Maker, Alyx, I love you…I love you…

*A/N: Hey all! It's been a long time…way longer than anticipated but, you know: reasons, so…moving on. *sheepish grin* I thought we needed just a little more Alyx & Nate alone time before returning to darkspawn carnage. This is likely the last full chapter of fluff so I hope you enjoyed it! Next up, we will meandar back into the mainplot-we are so close to the end I can almost taste it! As usual, thank you for all of you who continue to read, review and support this story, and please feel free to let me know your thoughts. You guys are the best! ~Prose

Muse Tunes: "Stockholm" by Brian McSweeney, "Hollow in the Ferns" by Craig Armstrong (Far From the Madding Crowd OST), "Hymn 101" by Joe Pug, "You Kept my Letters" by Craig Armstrong (Great Gastby OST), and "Good as Gold" by Dala.