Author: Frosy
Beta: Miles333

A Hidden World

Chapter 15

Memories

I spent the next two weeks on my bed curled up under my covers. I only got up to satisfy my basic needs. I hadn't spoken for days. Isabelle kept coming everyday to see me. She spoke to me, telling me stories about her childhood with her brothers in an attempt to amuse me. She never mentioned her parents though. I didn't feel like asking her.

I sat on my bed, always looking out the window. From my bedroom's window I could see Simon's back yard. I remembered once when he was 10, he had tried to climb the tree in his yard to prove me that he was a real man. He succeeded, but failed miserably at climbing down. He had tripped over a branch, and had hit the ground with a lot of force.

I was at my room watching him all the time while he winked me on his way up. I remember shouting to him.

"You can't climb that tree! You are just a boy!"

"Yeah? Do you want a bet?" he had said raising his hand at me.

"It's on!" I said, excitement filling me. I loved having bets. "If I win you are going to play dolls or whatever girly toy there is." I said to him and he made a face. I wanted to humiliate him by forcing him into a girl's territory.

"Ok." He seemed sceptical and then he added, "And if I win you will give me a kiss."

I said immediately yes. Not that I wanted to kiss him but I was so sure that he was going to fail that I didn't understand what he had told me at first.

He climbed the tree, triumph written all over his face. He winked at me.

"Now you have to kiss me!"

"You still need to climb down!" he laughed at my respond like that was nothing compared to what he had done. He looked me intensively before starting climbing down.

He was almost down when he slipped and landed on the hard grass.

"Simon!" I shouted and run downstairs and out at the back yard. I climbed the fence and rushed next to him. I had scratched my knees by going over the fence but I didn't care. I cared about Simon.

I couldn't see any injuries but he was unconscious or that's what I thought at the moment.

"Simon?" I whispered at him afraid that if I spoke aloud I would do something bad at him.

I saw his eyes move and called his name again.

"Simon? Can you hear me?" He opened his eyes slowly and looked at me like he saw me there for the first time.

"Clary I am dying." He simply stated.

"No you are not." I tried to comfort him. I was young and naïve and seeing him like that, I truly believed he was dying.

"I will go get your mom. She can fix this."

"No wait!" He grabbed my hand panic in his voice. "I know what can make me better." He said with a smirk on his face. I raised my eyebrows to him.

"What?" I asked afraid of the question.

"A kiss." I stood there motionless.

"That's not how it works!"

"Of course it does. My parents do it all the time."

"But…"

"Clary I am dying. Please?" he faked a cough and pretended that he was in pain, scaring me in the process.

"Fine." I said and he couldn't hide his smile.

I lowered my head and closed my eyes and hoped that wouldn't hurt. I was almost touching him when we heard his mom calling him. He stood up really quickly knocking me down.

"Hey!"

"Sorry I have to go."

"You were faking it?" I asked him full of anger now.

"Don't worry we will pick it up later from where we left it. Now my mom is calling." And he took off leaving me there.

I smiled at the memory.

"You are smiling." Isabelle said smiling. "That must be the first emotion you showed after…." She her voice trailed.

"You are wrong." I simply stated. Isabelle looked at me with wide eyes. I was talking now, trying to make conversation.

I spent the last days in silence because I needed it. It was my way of mourning for Simon.

"Clary, you spoke!" Isabelle came over me and gave me a hug. "Welcome back, girl." She said with a huge smile.

She really cared about me. We may have not known each other for a long time but she cared. I guess she was like me. She didn't have any girlfriends and growing up with brothers didn't give her that relationship and understanding girls only had.

"You are wrong." I said again to her. She froze and carefully pulled away wonder, in her black eyes.

"What?" she said her gaze hovering upon me.

I didn't answer, just kept looking outside the window. She seemed to understand that I wasn't completely back and she sighed.

"I spoke with Magnus today." She continued as nothing had changed, as I hadn't made a slightly improvement. I knew that sometime I would speak, interact with others. I knew I would but not yet. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to leave Simon completely.

"He went by... em… his house. You know to take care… em… the thing." She strangled not to say his name or to mention his death.

She knew that every time I heard his name or the mention of his death, tears would cover my tears. I didn't ask for it. I didn't ask them not to mention his name but I guess they probably didn't like to see me crying.

I didn't want to cry. I knew that Simon would like me to remember him and laugh, like he always made me.

"Anyways he went there and briefly explained what happened. She knew of course what he was talking about… and she… em… asked to see you." I turned to her, wrinkles on my forehead.

"I know right?" she said taking in my expression. This was how we communicated, or at least a part of that.

I didn't speak and I also didn't show any emotions, except those rare moments like this and Isabelle always understood them.

"I think you should go and see what she wants. Maybe she wants to ask you about…" she trailed again.

Euridiki, Simon's mother had known me since I was 8. Of course I would go and visit but I wasn't sure that now was the time. I would wait a little while and then go see her.

It was dark now and I still kept my position opposite my window. I turned to see Isabelle but she wasn't in the room. I was buried in my thoughts that I didn't notice her when she left.

I got up and went downstairs. I searched through the kitchen to find something to eat. I found a plate of pasta that I was sure I hadn't cooked. Instantly I remembered that Isabelle was the one cooking for me now. Again, I hadn't asked her to but she did.

I warmed them up and sat down to eat. My moves were mechanical as I placed my fork in my mouth.

I thought the last time Simon was here. He had made an attempt to cook me pasta with tomato sauce. He wanted to prove me that he could cook.

"Yeah, right. If you can cook then I am a rock star." I said to Simon as he searched through the cabinets to find the ingredients.

"You want to bet?" he said looking over his shoulder. I could the smirk on his face as he turned and placed all the staff on the counter in front of me. "So are you in?"

"Of course!" I said with confidence once again. "What's for the loser?"

"Let me think." He pretended thinking about it while I knew exactly want he wanted. "The loser will go onstage on Christmas show, and tell a really embarrassing moment of his life." He paused and lowered his voice to make a dramatic effect. "In front of the others."

"Deal." I said and we shook hands. I sat there happy as he struggled to figure out how the oven worked. He was going to make fool of himself and I was so into pizza that night.

The thought of pizza made me think Jace.

He hadn't come to visit the last days and I didn't blame him. Whenever he came he just stood there waiting. Waiting for me to break the silence. He was patient and stayed with me hours without saying a word. I appreciated that although it made me feel a little guilty. They were concerned about me and I didn't even spoke to them.

I looked around me like I was watching the room for the first time after a long time. The walls were a coloured a light yellow and the cabinets were brown.

I could spot the mark that Simon made when he had tried to make me past. His casserole somehow exploded covering the walls with pasta and sending the casserole on the cabinet next to the window. My mom would be mad if she had known.

I washed my plate and went to my room. I opened my laptop and went to the folder where I kept the pictures of me and Simon.

I saw them, each time tears feeling my eyes, making my sight blurry. I must have fallen asleep because I wasn't at my room any more.

I was standing under a tree. The one, that was in Simon's back yard. I was watching it with curiosity like the tree would reveal me something. I looked around me to indentify something else, something that would make me understand why I was here, but I couldn't see anything.

It was too dark. There was no moon on the sky to give some light, and as I searched the area around me my eye caught something on the grass. It was big and bulky. My first thought was that it was some kind of animal, but looking closer I found out it was Simon. I kneeled next to him trying to wake him up but he didn't move. Tears were running down my cheeks. I called his name several times but he didn't response.

"Simon? Wake up!" I cried to him, my vision blurry. He slowly opened his eyes and jumped up laughing.

"You fall for it every time." He said to me, his eyes filled with amusement. He looked to my socked face and stopped laughing.

"I'm sorry Clary." He said serious now at me.

"Why?" I asked him. I didn't know for what I sought explanation, but he seemed to know.

He opened his mouth to answer but no sound came out.

"What did you say?" I asked him again and approached him.

He tried to tell me again, still no sound coming out of his mouth.

He looked frustrated behind me and pointed something. I turned to find Jace standing a few meters away from us. He looked peaceful except from his eyes. His eyes were in sorrow.

I woke up with a terrible feeling inside me. I picked up the phone and dialled the only number I knew I would find some answers and maybe make Simon speak.

"Hello?" the voice in the other end said.

"I need to know." I said with a low controlled voice. "I am ready."